Are there any men who do NOT want to have anal sex with their girlfriends?

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Because EVERY ONE of my boyfriends have tried it on at some point, wtf?

― Sam_antha, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never seen the appeal.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Its because porn tells us to.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

what about women other than their girlfriends?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

All girls love it in the butt...what are you talking about!? This is silly.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i did it once, it was all just shit.

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

not any REAL men!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

real men suppress their sexual desires and curiousities, on the inkling that they're never gonna score ever again

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I really honestly have never found any appeal in this.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Now ear fucking, that's another story.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Outherre Brothers to thread.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

How about armpit fucking?

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I prefer the Ball State Teaser.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Never heard of that...

Is that what that crazy drunk lady did to Tombot in Boston the other weekend?

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

nope. no real appeal for the bottom feeding. not in a sexual way.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

So I'll do it once in a while to be nice. I can't say it does much for me though. I get the feeling that the appeal for men is all about humiliation. Or at least there's some undercurrent of that. I dunno. I don't understand men!

― Sam_antha, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

don't do it to be nice! especially if you are uncomfortable with the undercurrents involved. anal sex is not the route to understanding men!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I do this to avoid paternity suits on my multi-million dollar estate.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

B3cky?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

How is the missonary position any less a statement of power than anal sex? I mean, if you believe it to be a matter of power..?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Where does scat fit into this? Nothing like dropping a skinny dump on some girl's chest.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

spontaneous attempts at butt-love, definite dud.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Especially if you are alone.

...What?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

a written request 3 weeks in advance is preferred

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

If the pink's snookered, go for the tight brown.

I can't believe I just said that.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah. Shocker.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I'm wrong, Sarah, I dunno. Anal sex is more taboo and also can hurt so getting a woman to do it has more power implications than missionary position. I think. I don't really know why so many straight men are into anal sex.

― Sam_antha, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

just make sure don't then catch the jaws

oh dear.

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

because they wish they were gay, but they're not man enough to love another man

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I can see that, Sam_antha. Maybe it's because it's tighter and the guy can grab her breasts? Not that I think it's fantastic or anything.

Oh, god. Why am I discussing anal sex at 10 in the morning?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

it's not even 9 here!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

sam is right - it's all about letting her know who's boss.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

i think that pre-noon anal sex talk is so trashy!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree. I'm ashamed of myself.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i will check back in at 12:01!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

in other news, I may be talking to Snoop Dogg this week.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean Snoop Dogg? (you have to read it the way he'd say it)

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I kind of hate pretty much all of you right now.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Snoop will back me up on the paternity suit thing...

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Deal with your hatred, you bitter woman.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://library.tupaconline.com/images/artists/snoop_dogg.jpg

D O Double G, You see.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm thinking of doing my part of the interview all in snizzle my nizzle speak, since I'm that white guy who would say it in the movies.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Goddamn that pic not working.

That's totally what you should do, Huckleberry.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Ask him about Star Wars and what he thinks of Chew-bizzle!

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that a football move?

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

ask him if he's ever not wanted to have anal sex with his bitchez, and contrast that with his attitude towards his hoez

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

he has quite a gauntlet to go through though. I only got my first callback from his pizzeople this mizzorning after a wizzeek of cazzalling themizzle. I was abizzout to callizzle and lizzeve a mizzessage in the whizzole Detective Munch, "Are you saving your good lies for the other guy? Don't lie to me like I"m Montel Williams!"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, Spinktor. I do believe anal sex is a football move. You know, when the guy passes the ball between his legs to the one behind him? That's when they do it.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Tracer I kiss you with tongue. But I'm not doing anal with you.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Queue "Some like it hot" by Robert Palmer.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I did this once with a girl in college it was not fun. "thats the wrong hhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllle!!!!!"

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

All I can add to this thread is that I have a few straight female friends who absolutely love it in the ass. It took them a while to get used to it, but now they enjoy it heartily.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris - Did you (ahem) move across the carriageway accidentally and thus change lanes without indicating?

I can't believe I wrote that.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

DAVE B I SALUTE YOU

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Kind of, we were incredibly drunk and it slipped and....well ya know. But after her scream she seemed to enjoy it. I didn't. It was all interrupted by my two asshole friends who decided it was a good idea to bang on her window and start yelling.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Beautifully phrased, Chris.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw, college sweethearts... makes my heart flutter.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

dam traffic cones

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

CUE: Some Like It Hot by Billy Wilder, specifically the last scene where Tony Curtis (or is it Jack Lemmon?) tells the millionaire that he's not really a woman as they race off in the motorboat, the millionaire just shrugs and says, "Nobody's perfect" or something like that (it's been about 15 yrs since I've seen this movie).

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

my two asshole friends who decided it was a good idea to bang on her window

Is this sex code?

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

it can be taken as a sign of true closeness and affection by wanting to put it in the pooper

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

more like a college one nighter. The key was how she pulled me..."your a gangsta huh." I assume she thought my friends and I were gangsta's due to the fact we listened to Biggie Smalls. I showed her gangsta style that night. But the funny thing is she used that line on most of my friends as well.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

This girl was a class act.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, you mean you're NOT a gangsta?!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If she thought you were a gangsta, she should have EXPECTED some anal sex!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

haha. no. she thought so. just because a group of guys drink 40's and listened to hip hop....maybe it was the Akinelye that did it.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Her line should have been "So, you're a gangsta? Wanna violate my anus, seeing as that's what you people do?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I would have jumped her right there if she said that.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think that all men who like anal sex are into humiliation and evil power games. I have no great anal sex fixation, but once in a blue moon for a bit of variety and naughty taboo-breaking is OK by me, and I don't think it's because I want to humiliate my girlfriend because she likes it when she's in the mood, and I would never suggest it myself, I always let her suggest it. If you're in a long-term relationship you're likely to want to vary your sex life every now and then, I see it within that perspective and I don't think much else needs to be read into it. Obv if it's a guy trying to get a girl to do something she doesn't want to do that's quite different, but that applies to everything, not just anal sex.

― Jonathan Z., Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe it took this thread 60-something posts to get through to the answer. Jonathan Z is entirely OTM, though I also want to add that it's an incredibly intimate thing to do with someone that requires trust, time, love and tenderness.

Shit, is that where Michael Bolton got his album title from? Ew!

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Addendum - of course, it doesn't have to be like that, but I've not met a girl who's viewed it as an easy, straightforward par-for-the-course situation.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree. Jon otm.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Jon UTP.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

(Sorry.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

oh sure, if you want to think sensibly about it...but that's not what ILX is for, is it?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

not at all.
ilx is actually a secret soviet plot to slow workplace productivity throughout the free world.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But we've already proven BY SCIENCE that CJ the Unruly is the only one of us who holds down a top job. Ergo, SHE MUST BE THE EVIL GENIUS BEHIND IT!!!

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

and if anyone here is considering trying it (anal that is) - do not¡
• "why is that, dyson", you ask¿
• well if you must know, i tried it once, with a long time girlfriend. now imagine, if you will, a worst case scenario when once partakes in such activities. it happened.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Sheila was a man? < / Tone-Loc >

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I've only been here three days, and I think my job isn't so bad.

I don't understand the appeal of anal sex at all. But whatever.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Dyson, I've been meaning to ask - don't you have right-way-up ? and ! keys?

Also, risk-taking, man, it's what it's all about!

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

mark, mine are right side up - everyone else's is upside down. if you have a problem with it, i'd recomend flipping your moniter upside down.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, that works!

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

*Karate chop!*

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm still imagining the various worse case scenerios that can happen. (don't tell me though)

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Anal sex is totally not fun, can we please stop talking about it? Let's discuss The Karate Kid instead. Which movie had "The Glory of Love" as its theme song, I or II??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, yes it is.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

II. As in "number".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

ally, "glory of love" is like, the bum sex theme¡

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah Danielson, lube up.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Wax on, wax off. Wax dat ass.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha I wonder if Martin was talking all over about his experience with anal sex, if that'd be "bragging" and horrible, Mark???

I like how you've all ruined The Karate Kid for me now!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"FUCK THE ASS JOHNNY!!!!"

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"ruined"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pain does not exist in this Dojo"

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=Karate+Kid&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Lets just say they did a little rolling on them there wrestling mats at the end...

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"You don't want to know where this fingers been old man."
http://whatever-dude.com/wdimages/dposts/kkid4.jpg

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

My grandmother lives around the corner from Ralph Maccio, I used to see him all the time.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ninety nine

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

...bottles of beer on the wall.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

why is this the second picture that comes up? is that Tonya Harding?

http://www.movievehicles.com/images/karate.jpg

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I will say only that lubrication is u&k and that no woman believes in "oh sorry, I missed and my dick fell in your ass."

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha "fell in" wtf? Maybe if you're Belladonna or something.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

this is a dumb question, but what is "u&k"?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Urgent and KY

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/157344121X.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg

― nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

unnecessary and korny

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Changing lanes without signalling is just bad form.

And owie.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus Ally, why don't you go and do something that makes you less angry? I know I shouldn't rise, but fuck it, I do it often enough.

Perhaps if anyone claimed they caused their female partner repeated orgasms every time they bummed, I'd feel weird about that too.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

AS IT HAPPENS...

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

657. sometimes, when i have sex that way, i get this funny feeling inside. you know, the same way it is how when you eat a lot of brownies. mmmmm, i could use some brownies right now.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

FEAR

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

At least I deleted "fudge" and replaced it with "brownies", Dan. I just couldn't do a full you.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

they bummed

interesting evolution of the term. Not a bummer at all, man.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, for me full effect, instead of "a lot of brownies" you should have said "a pack of fudge".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

With nuts.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

734. I have now been vomiting for seven minutes straight. My shoes are filled with shreds of cold cuts, cheese bread and half-chewed forkfuls of what appears to have been chicken pot pie. I don't even remember eating chicken pot pie recently!

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Little Debbie Gone Bad.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Doin' the butt. Sexy sexy.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Pina colada butt lotion??

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

632. ...

I can't do it. DAN HOW DO YOU DO THIS ALL DAY WITHOUT MAKING YOURSELF SICK AND HORRIFIED??

"horrified"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Little Debbie's gonna bring you her chocolate surprise.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

OK you need to stop referencing Little Debbie, we got it the first time dude.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

little debbie's are great!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

anal sex is great too

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

ho bisogna di sesso anale

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't do it. DAN HOW DO YOU DO THIS ALL DAY WITHOUT MAKING YOURSELF SICK AND HORRIFIED??

It's a gift. (BTW after this thread I don't think I'll ever be able to use the phrase "snackin' on (Little Debbies)/(Entemann's)" without giggling.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

and we need more references to baked goods!

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Why did you have to go and bring in something good and pure and honest like Entemann's into this mess?!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I fear that Blount is perilously close to telling us all that he receives pleasure from stuffing snack cakes up his butt.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the Navy for you, man.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, that should have said "...stuffing snack cakes up his butt WILLY-NILLY".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"ho bisogno", or just "bisogna", if we're being pedantic (I am, don't know about anyone else).

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll just go ahead and preempt the usual hilarity by calling out anyone who posts pictures of brown food items right now. Ha ha, it's a chocolate truffle.

I haven't laughed at anything for quite some time now actually. Maybe I need to go outside.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, Tom, I wouldn't have even thought of making that joke if you hadn't directed me to that really disgusting, horrible website to explain your friend's dumb story about the women's shelter, so you have no one to blame for this but yourself.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

if we're being pedantic

anal, you mean

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.fanmonster.com/browns/season/2002/20021027_wk8_Jets/1535437_8.jpg

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that the packers?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.harbour.sfu.ca/~hayward/van/bibliography/jpgs/sheet-browneyed.jpg

― i am the bastard (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://seaburn.com/blackbooksplus/encyclopedia%20brown_small.jpg

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Two of my pals are walking around in California and a woman approaches them asking for donations.

THEM: What's it for?
HER: Provide a hot lunch for battered women.
THEM: (poker face) A hot lunch for battered women. Here you go.
HER: Thank you!

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Why didn't they use the money to fund an investigation into these bastards who were deep-frying the poor girls in the first place?????

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Well now I'm just confused.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

And I'm staying well away from the chocolate cake someone just brought in.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

and now thanks to TOMBORT, i can't read the phrase "brown foods" without chortling.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

On the upside, I have no will to eat at all so my starvation diet I've taken up for the holidays is totally a go.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"Battered"

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"chortling"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.hometown-treats.com/product_photos/devil_dogs_sm.jpeg

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

SEE?!?!?!?! GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

the authentic bread co

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

does Dolly Madison want to join in on the fun?

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

From early beginnings, when Butts made and delivered Ethnic snacks to local stores and restaurants, to present prosperity, Butts have always maintained a strong commitment to tradition.

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm really, really regretting that time I told off jess for acting like that dude in Gremlins being all horrified by his own stupidity now.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"Take a load off, fanny."

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

T/S: traditional Butts vs new-wave Butts

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha Daddino, Spencer Chow to thread!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

buttists v. rockists

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

rimjobs vs. rimshots

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha Daddino, Spencer Chow to thread!???

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Band reference immediately makes me think of you. Sorry. I do enjoy how you are immediately summoned though when I call you? I'm going to post that to the bold claims thread, "I MAKE SPENCER APPEAR AT WILL".

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

so while we're here: are there any women besides my girlfriend who don't want to receive oral sex?

I don't claim to be a cunning master or anything, but I've never had complaints and I enjoy doing it. She doesn't seem to be particularly squeamish or anything, and enjoys the sexing in general. It's no big deal, and obviously I don't want to do anything that she doesn't want to do, but it does kinda make me feel like I'm not able to give her my All. Which I'd like to do.

― mute, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i meet women who don't want to receive oral sex all the time!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Why would loverman Spencer Chow _not_ be monitoring a thread about men who aren't fully satisfying their women?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i meet women who don't want to receive oral sex all the time!

the most loaded sentence of the day.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

face it, spencer, yer ally's leather-dwarf.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

that's what you get for coming to NYC!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Spencer, all I was trying to do was make a simple "You look like Robbie Robertson" joke. I'm so sorry, these other people have made it all creepy and weird.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

she wants to peg you spencer

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

other people makin' it creepy and weird = ILX in general.

why should this thread be different?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i meet women who don't want to receive oral sex all the time!

is this the first thing you ask when you meet them? is that they don't want to rec've it 24/7? is it that they like to give sometimes? is just that they don't want to rec've from you?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently that's preferable to having oral sex with you, blount!!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do I suddenly feel like Agent Smith?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i usually just make my fingers into a 'V', wiggle my tongue in between them, and after the woman walks away fall to my knees and wail 'paul stanley why hast thou forsaken me?'

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe you're not being direct enough

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

That's weird, blount, cos fellating beer bottles usually works to get guys??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

besides, it's gene simmons not paul stanley that has the clit-licking tongue!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

if a girl fellates a bottle in front of me in a bar i think i'd be seduced

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

See?!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm a slut, though

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

blowing bottles, schmottles. it's the chix who can suck golfballs through a hose that win me heart.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount has it all wrong; you need to do the Sammy Hagar thing where you put your thumbs and forefingers together - works every time.

― Broheems (diamond), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

ah! ok. I get it (but I still don't get the Robbie Robertson thing in general)

but, I still don't understand this:
Why would loverman Spencer Chow _not_ be monitoring a thread about men who aren't fully satisfying their women?

and I'm now restraining myself from a delicious "your mom" joke.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

it's the chix who can suck golfballs through a hose that win me heart

do you really want your.. through...

doesn't matter.

― ken c, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

http://johnmyers.com/Band-robbie-robertson.jpg

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I DO NOT look like that person.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

i heard robbie got lots of groupie action back in the day.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

(Can we go back to the point where it is asserted that the answer to "Are there any men who do NOT want to have anal sex with their girlfriends?" was "Anal sex with a girlfriend can be a tender, intimate thing!"?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

No, you don't normally have a guitar.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy shit, when did you start playing guitar Spencer!?!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I really wish Ally was answering me and not Spencer.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

well spencer DOES kinda look like robbie robertson if you squint a bit.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha someone should photoshop a bear onto Robbie Robertson's shoulder.

xpost, how do you know I wasn't answering you? Maybe this is why I hated it? The guitar doesn't really, er, fit?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought I warned you people off the Robbie Robertson = Spencer Chow thing once before. It drives me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Woo! Woo! Like no one else! Woo! Woo!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Spencer = Robbie Rob, I = hippy, we are who they say we are dude.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(Also Ally, I am now in HYSTERICS thank you)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

if it doesn't fit, you must acquit.

― Johnny Cochrane (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I was just making a funny about your immediate response to Ally summoning you.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

or, if it doesn't fit then just don't quit!

― John Holmes (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

haha!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

ah! ok, then I'll put away the mom joke (shame though).

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

this is where the military guys can be really useful ... the ol' "spit and polish" thing and all.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

So we're cool then.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

(Spencer = http://www.nostalgia.com/posters/51344.JPG)

― Not Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

much better. I honestly think I look much more like Phelpths.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

(Ally = )

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

(Ally =

) rather

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a little red x?? Thanks, asshole.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

aargh

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"Referral Denied"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.rotovibe.com/images/mylene_bercy_back.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

should be, Ally=

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

so who are those folks crouching in the shadows?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

That really does make my sister this!

http://www.geocities.com/wintermute_v031/alizee.txt

― Allyzay Farmer, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell me more about your sister again.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

She likes Asians. And she just turned legal. She's for sale, would you like to purchase her?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell me more about your sister again.

See, if I said that, it'd be creepy and weird.

No really: if I did say that it _would_ be creepy and weird. You're doing it wrong.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I like how everyone gets they own share of being creeped & weirded out by the different shades of this thread.

"ILX: We Offend All Kinds!"

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"and how did you meet?"

"Oh y'know - pretty standard really - her sister sold her to me on a message board thread about butt stuff"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That's romance, though.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

sounds like modern love to me.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

What is with the ILX and the repeating the exact same joke over and over today?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://thepolywog.com/copshootcop/photoalbum/images/food.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

crossposting, and me being too lazy to change the line.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

ally should just quit school and go to work in bangkok selling peoples' sisters to american and asian horndogs.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

that's Asian-American horndog to you, buddy.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Amer-Asian horndog to be exact actually.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

How the hell are there 200+ posts to this thread? I checked this like 2 hours ago and there were less than 100.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

We were waiting for you to leave, asshole.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG30.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG37.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex, are you ok? Do you need a hug?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Keep your hugs and free love, hippie trash.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG104.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

You're such a girly bitch, damn.

errr xpost.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

ally is SO not hippie-trash. she likes carebears and my little pony!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

in bed w/lovely young woman after the first date, age 22.
her: "vaginal or anal?"
me: [[almost faints]]

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

carebear buttsex!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Michaelangelo my love, you have just transcribed the least sexy bed conversation ever.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

sure, NOW it is. but at the time . . . [[swoons]]

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

me: [[almost faints]]
why¿ how big was the strap on¿

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i dream of wires, indeed!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

almost faints???

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

(also there was a lot more involved in that conversation, but you just want the good parts, you sick fuxorz)

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

now you tell us why you didn't marry this woman

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

we're still waiting for your reply Matos

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

well, I had to be conscious for the event itself, Blount

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

what, the marrying, or the buttering?

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think technically you have to be conscious to get married, actually.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

alas, she was not to be had on any kind of permanent basis. she liked skanky older men (she was 19 at the time and was between marriages to Bukowski-esque 50-year-olds, no lie). but she sensed my incipient dirty old man-ness even though I was but a tender lad of 22, and for this I will always be profoundly grateful.

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

marriage /= the event here

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

(I sense I will get mercilessly made fun of right now. I suspect I brought it on myself because I'm like that today.)

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

and the buttering?

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

do you giggle when people ask your preference? y'know "Red or White?" "Starch or no Starch?" etc.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

no, I get this faraway look in my eyes and my breathing gets irregular

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

(I am SO going to regret this)

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

So then knock it off, jackass.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

that's what she said!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

:-P

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

no, that's "knock it out", i believe.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha for some reason I just got an image of the red pill/blue pill thing. It must've been that weird Agent Smith reference upthread.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I would think, in the context of this thread, me comparing myself to Agent Smith would be anything BUT weird! (heh "butt-weird")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"Did he just say 'funky butt-lovin'?"

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

leave it to butt sex to pull in the big time treads. this reminds me of the thread about ally's ass. the ass brings interest? sniff, like dog?

"FUCK THE ASS JOHNNY!!!!"
-- Chris B. Sure (formerlypoopsmcge...), December 3rd, 2003.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Q:ARE WE NOT ASS? A:WE ARE ANAL

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

anything i say is likely to be incriminating

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.thewalldirect.com/images/blue/judge-500.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 4 December 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

you have just transcribed the least sexy bed conversation ever

I can do much better than that.

Robbie Robertson - second best looking dude on this thread

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

They do politics differently in Australia...

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/12/04/1070351724846.html

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ASS-tralia!

― ken c, Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

described the government as a conga line of suckholes

not bad.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I kind of want him to win the election now! What are his politics?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

He's right-wing Labour, i.e. Tony Blair with an anal fixation.

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn. Where have all of the sweary liberals gone?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I read that to the tune of "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the tune it was written to! PAULA COLE, WHERE ARE YOU?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

So, has everyone conveniently pretended they didn't see Alex In NYC's grand slam pic post of the year?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm conveniently pretending that my boss didnt see it when he was walking behind me just now.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Carebare buttsex? Oof.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

man, i love to @$$fuck asains

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

any1 else?

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

no, just asains.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus, you just completely blew your cover!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

and they blew your mom's dick

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

That's so not funny it becomes funny.

― Allyza, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

?? what? "Momus" is plural now?

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

PLEASE NO ONE MAKE THE AGENT SMITH REFERENCE AGAIN.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe you should just give us all a script

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

It'd certainly fucking improve the proceedings. You would've been written out last season though, oops.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.mccsc.edu/~lschmidt/baby.gif

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

man, i need to fuck somebody's ass

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

a gurl

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

nice save

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

man, i need to fuck somebody's ass

http://www.foxinsocks.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/tigger/graphics/gallery/eeyore/smile.jpg

― winnie the pooh, Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 December 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, this is a long thread.

For the record I did *not* start this thread.

Thank you, that is all.

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 4 December 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

not that gurl

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

for the record, anybody who doesn't want to fuck their girlfreind's ass is a faggot

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 23:44 (twenty-two years ago)

the ironing etc etc

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

what about it?

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, if you don't wanna give your girl anal sex you're a turd-burgling butt-pirate

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 5 December 2003 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i resemble that remark. sort of.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 01:11 (twenty-two years ago)

er, for the record--no way. not ever. things were meant to go OUT of there, not go IN!

Perverts!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

orbit is also morally opposed to spitting

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

ain't nothing wrong with being perverted

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

and also you guys know my opinion on this.

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

that we do

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

orbit is also morally opposed to spitting

but how did you *know*??!!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

one tooth can suggest the entire fossil

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks for the visual

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:20 (twenty-two years ago)

ain't nothing wrong with being perverted

Yeah but the perversion damn well better be *fun*! You wanna go up the butt, find a guy, that's what I say. If you wanna get tied up and perverted and frolicsome at least *that's* fun!

Damn, I'm going to get Do Not Enter tattoed on my butt!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You wanna go up the butt, find a guy

what? how is it any different?

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The vagina's an exit, too!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sorry, doctor, no colonoscopy, for me it's EXIT ONLY"

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 5 December 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

What is exiting out of the vagina? Stop making up shit, rosemary! How horrifying!

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 04:08 (twenty-two years ago)

small humans ally. I've seen it in person, it's really bizarre.

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

No, the aliens came directly out of the stomach in that movie with Sigourney Weaver!! Not the vagina!! Maybe the porn version?

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

childbirth and porn should never ever be mentioned in the same sentence

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

why am i posting to this thread??!!

*runs away to tie up suitable non-anal boy*

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i have no idea

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

BABIES ARE BROUGHT BY THE STORK NOT THE VAGINA YOU PERVERTS!!!!!!!!!!

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

*imagines flying vaginas*

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you Peter Jackson?

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

my vagina won't be opening up to deliver any Butterball-sized brethren!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

for $20 i'll be whoever you want

(xpost)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

wait a minute. . .weren't we talking about the ass?

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i know, it's all ruined now

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

shit.
oh wait.
sorry.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread is making me cry laughing.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

so, i'm assuming that none of you are familiar with the works of Vinnie Spit, and his seminal work, "Born Out the Anus (Like a Turd Full of Corn)"?

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

do not want

― gershy, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 08:39 (eighteen years ago)

u gay

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 08:45 (eighteen years ago)

gaiershy

― gershy, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 08:50 (eighteen years ago)

i've said it before and i'll say it again.. i was better in the old days

― electricsound, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 09:49 (eighteen years ago)

I wouldn't say that, but I do enjoy falling across your old posts Jim.

― gem, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 09:52 (eighteen years ago)

he was talking about anal sex, gem, not his posting.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 10:30 (eighteen years ago)

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