ILX kitchen noticeboard

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Who's eating all the Weetabix? they're mine

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that milk or cheese in the fridge? Quite frankly I can't tell any more.

We've got half a dead seagull in the garden. Who wants to remove it?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

C-Man rang.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The cat will take care of the seagull, I'm sure

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

My mother is coming round next week, can you all remove your pron from the living room before that, and possibly attempt to tidy up a bit?

― chris (chris), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

CLEANING ROTA:

No-one?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck it, let's just get a cleaner.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought that blackboard in your kitchen would cause trouble Alang.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

The seagull is mine. Leave it alone.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

THE FRIDGE IS NOT A COMMUNE. I AM NOT FILTHY RICH AND THEREFORE CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY TWO PINTS OF SOMERFIELD SEMI-SKIMMED MILK EVERY FUCKING DAY! CONSTANT OFFENDERS WILL HENCEFORTH BE REPORTED TO THE LANDLORD.

THANK YOU.

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, SOCIALISM STOPS AT MY SHALLOTS!

THANK YOU.

― Phoebe Dinsmore, Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha My housemates and I are still debating whether or not to get a cleaner.

I am 26.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen my bicarbonate of soda?

Chris, what are you going to do about the smoke coming from Dave Q's room?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

And STOP STEPPING ON THE SCALEXTRIC!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Barry you're a bald cunt and if you don't hoover the living room I'm going set fire to your fucking cat.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick do you not think having 43 empty wine bottles on the mantlepiece is a bit excessive? Please clear it up.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Those underpants can be discarded now. I've decided I don't want them.

Also: C-Man's social-worker called.

― omg, Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Plz stop kicking gardn nome, IT IS THERE FOR A REASON!!!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Indian Takeaways s/d
Search: The Asha 0207 546 2162
Standard Tandoori 0207 689 6891
The Indian Chef 0208 465 1359
Destroy: Holloway Tandoori 0207 564 2156

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

If Stevem rings, I'm not in.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP TAKING MY FUCKING UMBRELLA! EVERYONE KNOWS ITS THE PINK ONE WITH THE POP-UP PIG EYES!

― omg, Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

If anyone has my Simpsons mug, please could they return it to the cupboard immediately. It's been 5 years. thx.

― robster (robster), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Are we going to get anyone else in to live in Doomie's room? Or do you think he'll come back again? Does the landlord even know?

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Whose homework is this?

http://members.lycos.co.uk/jwc/wanking.jpg

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll move them on Sunday like I always do, Matt. It's only a week's worth.

PS HAS ANYONE SEEN THE ALIEN?! I need it for work.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT

STEVE

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

DO NOT TOUCH THE VIDEO, TAPING DAWSON

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I've had ENoUGH with the gamelan at 4am already. SToP iT.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

There were SIX bottles of Christal in here. Replace them by tonight and I'll turn a blind eye. Any later and you won't see dawn. Peace out, E.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear ILX,

I resign. There are too many crap records, old copies of Sight and Sound, jizzy tissues, Buffy DVDs, empty wine bottles, Amazon packaging and overpriced shoes here for me to even START cleaning.

Thx bye.

Doris (the cleaner)

PS. I have taken a rather amusing Simpsons mug in lieu of the wages you owe me.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SIMPSONS MUG??

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Out of town again this weekend, dunno when I'll be back. Forgot to go shopping oops! I think there is some coffee tho.

xoxo
Ally

PS if Spencer rings ask him about the French music.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's Donnie?

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Dean Wormer called. As of now this house is on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION and if we don't all raise our grade point averages we're OUT!

― Tom Hulse (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god oh my god oh my god!

― Hoover (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

― John Belushi (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

STEVEM STOP USING MY MUG!!

― robster (robster), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

CORK IT SHRIMP

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

WANK MOUTHZ GO!

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Tom Hulse:

Your girlfriend is only 13.

xoxox
Ally

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

rather amusingly, the U, in MOUTHZ, is, in fact, an upside down n and the !, at the end, is really an upside down i.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Please archive your threads, don't just leave them on the surface for someone else to do your job

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG:

Do you have any plastic injections you can lend me? Don't ask.

xoxox
Ally

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

*constant hammering*

― Carter Hayes, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

AL:

that's not any of my business

RJGXXX

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

THE NEXT PERSON TO USE THE FONDUE POT WITHOUT CLEANING IT AFTERWARDS GREETS A MESSY AND UNTIMELY DEATH!

Sincerely,

The Management

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

U R ALL GAY.

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

What?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Note to ALL:

PLEEZ dispose of your prophylactics in a proper manner, not squiching them into a Coke can, which you then drop into trash basket in the bathroom. The last time you did this had unintended consequences when the cans were returned for deposit...

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This house has gone to shit. I'm moving out.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop wanking in the car. Aside from being disgusting, it is very difficult and time-consuming to get out of the sheepskin. This is the third time this month - show some consideration, plz.

Will

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Pay your rent instead of smoking pot plz.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

POISON ROXX U R ALL EVICTED

― Snake-Hipped Landlord (mrswygart), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

People - Momus coming over from Berlin. Will be staying on sofa for a bit.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

have accidentally tipped effluent on sofa - sorry

― chris (chris), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

SOFA FOR SALE £5 o.n.o.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Do not call Momus 'effluent' - he iz a sensitive 'artist'.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.imomus.com/edmomusbird.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.davidlynch.de/angry.jpg

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

SOFA FOR SALE £5 o.n.o.

You've just made Tracer homeless.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Yo wtf is up with you guys not rinsing your plates? I am off to shoot dice in the alley

Trace-dude

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

can we please keep a 'house stash' of condoms in the kitchen for emergencies from now on as last night both me and Matt DC and Barry all got lucky at once (not wiv each uvver you PERVS) and we all had to do wivout (except barry who has stinky breath this morning don't ask why) i feel this would help the moral of the house lots and lots who's chipping in, eh? you have to replace every time you use one (note - these are NOT for 'posh wanks', Barry, only real live sex with gurls or boys!)

thnx Nick

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i hate you lot, you don't understand me and my commitment to animal rights. or Suede. i think you're all idiots but rather than move out I am gonna stay and re-post this note every week with optional pics of Holly Valance torn out of FHM (sorry about the stickyness)

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Gone for a haircut, back in a month

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick, I'm pregnant.

― Rachel C (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

There's half a doner kebab I brought home last night in the fridge - help yourself. The minger I pulled last night didn't seem to want it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

wot no chilli sauce????

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Guy's my sperm count was negative it's not my baby huzzah!

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

For your viewing pleasure....the first in a series of Killing Joke portraits, magnetized to the ILX `Fridge. You're welcome. Deface it and sleep with a gun under your pillow.

http://www.an-irrational-domain.net/images/band2003/Group7.JPG

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Guns? Mysterious fatherless babies? This is getting like Eastenders. Who's up for all going on holiday together? It'll be fun and nonething catastrophic will happen at all!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, i no longer want the caramel pudding in the fridge made by me mum. You're all free to have it. It's only about 3 weeks old.

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

To everyone:

If you are not a British member of the household please do not use words like "me mum" or "tis". In fact no one should use the word "tis" otherwise I will fucking slaughter.

xoxo
Ally

ps I just got my period, whew

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

THANKS FOR ~~NOTHING~~ EVERYTHING

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(I love the idea of this house, millions of rooms and existing in some kind of wormhole, accessable from all parts of the world.)

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

lara suggested something like this, recently. our flat has four bedrooms and two spare rooms and the flat across the landing is for sale, with just as many rooms, I assume.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

she was joking, of course.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear ILX - we need to buy a bigger notice board.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

http://base58.com/ilx/kjoke.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind.
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind

[Now] Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy.

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind.

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

IT WASN'T ME ALEX

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

your my boy, blue!

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I could commute!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Will whomever cut the sleeves off and superglued rhinestones all over my Alice Cooper Billion Dollar Babies t-shirt please cop to it? I know you think it's all kitchsy metal chic to wear it to your precious Jay-Z album release parties, but that was a collector's item, I'll have you know, and I expect to be compensated for damages. You heartless fuckers.

Oh, and Stevem? --- Call your mother today, because this evening....YOU DIE!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

stevem i have a gun wot i can lend you

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas -- You were talking in your sleep again. Or were you?

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

THIS IS NOT A "SHOOTING" HOUSEHOLD!!!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

http://home.att.net/~mlescaut/newyear.jpg

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally Barry asked me to ask you if he can have his boa back he needs it for s&m.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG if you're goin to keep bog roll in your room then buy your own

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.jccniowa.org/~jchspets/images/Chester%20Poster%20greyscale.GIF

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

HAS ANYONE FED SPECIAL PATROL GROUP?

― Vyvyenne Bastard, MD (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG if you're goin to keep bog roll in your room then buy your own

ha ha, guilty

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Barry: Pick up the boa tonite @ Heaven&Hell '80s nite, that's where I will be. U cannot have the shiny shirt back. Sorry. - Ally

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I've called the landlord about fixing the fence - Aja from next door keeps coming through into the garden and overhearing Jess talking about fisting. I'm worried someone might call the police.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

also - in this house, we vomit in the toilet, not around it.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

You're all a bunch of bloody boring fascists! Vomit here, not there. Talk about fisting here, not there! Neil, you forgot dinner again, you bastard.

― Rik, Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

http://sweb.uky.edu/~aecops0/images/cumholetaxb.jpg

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry Rik. Someone pissed in the lentils.

― neil (robster), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/garethfap/phoneconfusion.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

LEAVE MY FUCKING T-SHIRTS ALONE, GODDAMMIT, I'M NOT KIDDING!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Garth - it's a phone

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

goddammit. ANOTHER HOLE TAX?!

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex--Used yr KJ t-shirt to clean up after sex. Promise to wash it. Didn't realize it was yrs! Sorry. xxxxAlly

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth, if you actually try picking up the phone, you hear sounds. But amazing things happen if you put down the beer first.....or so I've heard.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally, has Tom taken to shaking down gay men for their lunch money after an evening's pool husltling?

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Ed, you left another goats blood stain on the dining room carpet. How on earth are we going to explain this to the landlord?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Ed, yeah, I got no job now you see.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The mess on the kitchen floor is mine, sorry - i got wankered last night on absinthe, and ended up pouring Ally's tequila all over the lino before igniting it and frying Alex's eggs in it. they tasted gross. i am off work today feeling ill, btw.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Quit playing with my bras.

― may pang (maypang), Thursday, 15 January 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear ILX:

This is not a halfway house. Either pay some rent or I'm reporting that little problem of yours to the landlord. Thanks!

― america's first municipal lunatic asylum (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 15 January 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

We already got rid of the ants, and roaches, and annoying idiot neighbors.....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 January 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

nickalicious-stop posting photos of our refrigerator. i will report this to the roommates!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 15 January 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM NOW GAY.

consequently i will only pay rent once a fortnight

― So There, Thursday, 15 January 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

To whoever had sex in my bed last night - WASH THE SHEETS YOU DIRTY FUCKERS.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

OUT TO CLEANERS +
SHOPPING
IGNORE BLOOD TRAILS
FROM KITCHEN WILL BE
BACK SOON TO MOP UP

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 15 January 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

What is ACTUALLY on my fridge at home:

A photo of the Phoenix cinema in East Finchley, London.
A photocopy of the most recent Eightball cover.
THIS picture (which is my favorite picture ever):
http://fusionanomaly.net/llamataxi.jpg
And a handwritten note that reads "COINSTAR".

― the baby from three men and a baby, but all growed up (nordicskilla), Thursday, 15 January 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Clean the hair out of the drain you gross fockers.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The weed man called. He says he's all out, but he does have some percasets.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

whoever smoked my last cigarette is going to find a nice surprise in their bedsheets when they come home.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

also, we have to move the mannequin because they're powerwashing outside tomorrow.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

If your hobby is keeping your own urine and/or cum in bottles I don't mind, but keep the bottles in your own room. When J0hn D. crashed here last night after his show he found out the hard way that wasn't lemonade.

And whoever took the last pair of clean tights out of my dresser owes me a new pair.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Whoever's car keys are in the freezer needs to lay off the booze for a minute.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Whoever left the dog outside in the storm BETTER dry it, as that damn smell is wafting through the house.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

There are $2,365 worth of calls to 900 numbers on the phone bill - one of you has some explaining to do - and must be really chafed.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Di, I thought that old Triumph of yours wasn't running! So why is it now blocking my car?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Who is that playing David Hasslehoff and King Tubby REALLY LOUD at 3 AM?? For pity's sake some of us have proper jobs to go to!

― Hmmm, Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Doesn't anyone care that we have no gas?

― arf, Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess! I think you left your condom in my ass. Again.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

David Hasselhoff??? Stop by my room for a hard slap!

Whoever stole my vibrator better buy me a new one, and what were you doing in my underwear drawer anyway?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It was me!! Guilty on Both Counts!! Don't Be Gentle!!

― pleb, Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess don't you dare touch the mannequin, that's an art installation for my master's thesis! The cleaner is just going to have to work around that part. And whoever took the panties put them back now because that's supposed to be a comment on fashion mags coopting classical art signifiers!

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Who in here has a pet rabbit now, and why did I find it trying to hump the cat?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Err, i'm bringing round some mates on thursday, and..i'm not trying to be bad or anything.., but...could you lot be out?

― omg, Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I JUST bought that milk, dammit! Whoever left the empty carton in the carton obv. can't read, since my name was on there in HUGE letters.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, I know most of you are American, but our house has a British door too and you all watch the BBC channels. You all owe me for the TV licence. A non-UK passport is no excuse. £12 each please,

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I HATE YOU GUYS!

YOU'RE ALL FASCISTS!

NONE OF YOU HAS AS SOPHISTIMICATED SENSE OF HUMOUR AS ME!

STOP SPUNKING IN MY FOOD!

LEAVE MY MAGS ALONE!

STOP THUMPING/KNEEING ME IN THE BACK! ALSO BUNDLES REALLY FUCKING HURT!

STOP HIJACKING MY CAMWHORES TO TELL THEM I'M A GAY LEPROSY DWARF! IT'S NOT FUNNY!

BASTARDS!

― C- Man, Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone stop giving him caffeine.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't nobody go in the bathroom for 35-40 minutes.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Next time light a match.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't want the place to explode.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 15 January 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Huge C-Man mess. Please clean up.

― dean! (deangulberry), Thursday, 15 January 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh, can I unvolunteer for that?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 January 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cheyps.blogger.com.br/lego%20verdade.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

SOCIALISM STOPS AT MY SHALLOTS!

Classic

― pete s, Friday, 16 January 2004 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

NEWSFLASH - WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU!

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 16 January 2004 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

http://deanna.ladyinterference.com/ilx/fridgemagnet.jpg

[Real fridge magnet, FYI.]

― As Sweet As Melody (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 16 January 2004 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone-

I made cornbread. It is for me and my boyfriend and maybe N. because he needs to eat, just look at him. If any of the rest of you fuckwads even think of touching it while I'm out today, I'm poisoning the milk.

xoxo
Ally

― Allyzay, Friday, 16 January 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Guys, a guy called Dan Perry is moving in this weekend. I don't know him too well, but he seems a quiet, reserved type. Can we keep the toilet humour to ourselves please?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

guys:

sorry about the blood/cranberry juice/catalina dressing around the toilet.

mea culpa

-f

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

One of you will die tonight. You've been warned.

Cordially,

The Management

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Come see me sing! Jan 25, 5 PM at King's Chapel.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

alex in nyc is actually truman capote in murder by death!

― tweemu (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm Not a Cow, I'm A MOOSE!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit, Perry's a god-botherer. Alex, can you take down those distasteful posters of Jesus fellating himself? And while I'm at it, for God's sake stop trying to imitate him while the rest of us are trying to watch TV!

p.s. please get rid of this meesage before Perry gets back.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO THE FUCK TOOK DOWN THE PICS OF JESUS FELLATING HIMSELF??????????????????????????

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahahahahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

ERASURE RULZ

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I NEED YOUR SHARE OF THE ELECTRIC BILL ~~NOW~~. They're threatening to turn off the juice if we don't pay up.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ERASURE RULZ

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

buy candles.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, who crossed out NOW on my last note? At least I won't have to hear someone playing guitar at 4 in the morning.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

~~Hey, who crossed out NOW on my last note? At least I won't have to hear someone playing guitar at 4 in the morning.~~

who moved my Marshall amp?

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

battle of algiers - saturday - westside pavilion (7:10) or laemmle's sunset 5 (7:00) - see you there!

― youn, Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

toot toot!

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 17 January 2004 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Alang if you're going to take in several kittens PLEASE clean out the litter box before the EPA busts us.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 17 January 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 17 January 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

What happens when a kitten swallows the Ring of Power.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 17 January 2004 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My kitchen noticeboard has Paul Morley on it.

― the pinefox, Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Wouldn't he be uncomfortable?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's to punish him for most of the first 120 pages of his last book.

It has to improve considerably before I unpin him and let him down.

― the pinefox, Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds tough yet fair.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

dear ilx, the april 1st fap thread is not a joke. thx k bye, coz xxx

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 17 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

dear all, please kick paul morley in the nuts as you walk by, he must learn

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

People,
I've fed Paul Morely the last wek running. It is SOMEONE ELSE'S TURN to go to the shops for rock critic food. A music journalist is for life, not just for Christmas.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 17 January 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

no asssex on the couch please.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

and no trucker hats, please.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi guys!

My therapist says I'll better in touch with myself and my "issues" if I don't wear any clothes at home and just let my Natural Beauty shine. In case you wonder.

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas,

Finally!!!

Love Pink xxx

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi.

Today I also decided to dye my pubies orange, so if you find any orange hair in your food, it'd be mine. Be nice to the little fellows.

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear All,

Sometimes you can go too far!

K thanx bye!

P xxx

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the matter with you guys?

You're all keeping your doors locked, and I haven't spoken to anyone except Pink for two days. Don't you like my Natural Beauty?

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi guys!

I've talked with my therapist, and she says you have issues with nudity which need to be confronted. To help you confront them I'm gonna wake you up every morning with my penis. It's for your own good. :)

Love,
Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

is it cut or -un?

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas
Wake me with your penis if you must, but slapping me about the face with it is not the way to do it.
Regards,
Nick

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Mike:
I noticed you didn't write down the call you made in the 'calls we each make' book. I wonder how many other calls you've conveniently forgotten to write down.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

dear tuomas,

i must warn you that i often bite while i'm sleeping.

ken

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear All,

Ken didn't mention that he also shouts out all of our names in his sleep. Yeah I'm listening buddy!

P x

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, when I was living with my previous flatmate, before she moved in I warned her that she shouldn't be surprised if she'd wake up one night and find me standing in her bedroom naked, singing an aria. When she was moving out, she confessed she was disappointed that this never actually happened.

I miss her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Lady, quite whining!

P x

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen the robot I've been working on in the basement? In my aims for a utopian society, I imbued it with the latest in AI - a sense of reasonableness to 1/1000th of a degree and a set of liberal Scandinavian attitudes, as well as an ambiguous sexual attractiveness and a certain sense of vanity. But all it ever thinks about is its winky. It answers to the name of Tuomas, and is uncircumcised (this info may well be useful to you).

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Mark!

I'm off, the world is mine!

Sincerely,

The Robot

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, your robot appears to have taken over the world and forced the entire population to shed our clothes and dye our pubes orange. Also, you've still not washed your breakfast bowl and the cornflakes are now like concrete.

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Mark, I'm back!

The world turned out to be an awful place full of mean people, none of whom want to talk about penises. I'd much rather stay here.

Love,
The Robot

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

001011011011010111010110111011010101010110101101011101101101011011011011111011010101101101011010111011011011000101010001010001010111001101100100111001110011000 means love

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

1001 menas a girl with two large boobs with both her arms raised horizontally.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

010 is a circumcision gone wrong

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

dear ilx,

i think i'd prefer real porn strewn around the house to number code porn.

thanks!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. tuomas, what on earth were you doing to end up with orange pubes in the ice trays?!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Colette,

I get around.

-Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.collegegear.com/sf/stores/product_images/1505.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

ken,

you're banned from google image search.

but i'm giggling.

you must now create a house cheer to use those pompoms with.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate,
When come back bring pie
- Julian Assablancas

― Julian (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen my trucker hat? I lent it to Gear ages ago. I bet it'll turn up down the back of the sofa or something.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark,

The trucker hat is now wedged in the folds of my sweet sweet ass quim. You can help me pluck it out tonight.

Love,

Assy

― Gearsroomate (Chris V), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://uk.geocities.com/turnipfish1/fridgememo.txt

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear housemates,

Your message about the shower has caused me to blush in shame at your behavior. Clean the tub!

Love, your pirate fridge magnet

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Fellow kitchen-users:

Please do not ever use the word quim. It's easy to confuse with quince, which are sweet
and delicious.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeremy,

So is my ass.

Love,

Assy

― Assy (Chris V), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.vh.org/adult/provider/anatomy/atlasofanatomy/plate32/images/32-4_static.jpg

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ubu.com/found/ass/lingling.gif

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi guys!

Who let Amazing Randy out of his cage? You know it's gonna take the whole day to put him back.

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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