Nuts Magazine - it's Heat... but for men... C/D

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Has anyone else in the UK been forced a copy of "Nuts" magazine, whose first issue is being given away free by WH Smiths this week? It's like Heat, only aimed at blokes, so it's got pages of football at the back, articles about fast cars and crocodiles attacking people and some scantily clad females too.

If anyone's seen it, what do you think? Will it catch on? Do blokes need such a mag? Do they really care?

― Rob M (Rob M), Friday, 16 January 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I am secure in the knowledge that I will need this magazine less than Heat which I have no need for. I am male.

― hmmm (neil simpson), Friday, 16 January 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yes we are woefully short of such magazines.
I'll only buy it in may.

― pete s, Friday, 16 January 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe they thought "Nuts" was a good name.

― Fred B., Friday, 16 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

EMAP are launching a weekly competitor to IPC's Nuts - in 2 weeks time called Zoo Weekly - apparently it's even more common than Nuts.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 16 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

'For men who shit where they eat'

― pete s, Friday, 16 January 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen both of them. The Zoo one is horrible. It has Jordan explaining how she likes to shit before anal sex, a picture of a prolapsed rectum as a weightlifter busts a gut, quite literally, during a tournament, aa man with a knofe through hs neck - not dead - a shark victim and a woman who's wet herself. Classy.

― badger Kitten, Friday, 16 January 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ. That prolapsed rectum picture must surely predate the Bible.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

They called it Nuts Magazine and it's aimed at straight men?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Badger Kitten, do you work at Em@p?

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

No. I used to . I can't stand them.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Nuts vs Nutty

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

They're my ex-employers too. Still freelance for them, so lips are sealed. Just wondering where you saw the mag.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Nutty. By a mile.

http://www.bookpalace.com/acatalog/Nutty.jpg

― robster (robster), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it have telly pages in?

Is that the point of it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

there was a bit abt this in the guardian. it looks like piss.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

It does indeed have telly pages in it, with a page about each day of highlights much as Heat does, only it's written from a 'lad's point of view', so "Scent of a woman" is something like "A guide for losers in love to pick up tips for the opposite sex", and anything with a semi-naked woman is highlighted as essential.

It really is a pitiful read.

― Rob M (Rob M), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Will issue two have a three-page interview with Tubgirl?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Free emergency toilet paper isn't such a bad thing really.

― @lex K (Alex K), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

goes up to 60p next week

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Sounds rank. I'm keeping the faith with heat.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I heard a radio interview with Zoo Weekly's editor and I was astonished at his lack of answers to questions like "what will be in it" and "why a new magazine." You'd think he'd at least brushed up on some pablum for sales pitches or something? Strange. (His answers, by the way, were "stuff we like" and "a weekly men's magazine's never been done before, mainly because there's such a huge cost involved"). Look for Zoo Weekly to be extinct by 2005.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't this nuts thing just like FHM? (but weekly? is FHM weekly? i have no idea actually)

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, it's Bad FHM weekly with TV pages (thursday to thursday for some reason)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Britain

January 10, 2004

Are men ready to look (and learn) once a week?
By Adam Sherwin, Media Reporter

A MEN’S magazine war starting next week will decide whether the British male is prepared to swap Loaded for learning and finds science and engineering a greater turn-on than beer and breasts.
Newsagents are about to receive one million copies of Nuts, the first weekly magazine targeted at men since Roy of the Rovers subscriptions were cancelled.

Published by IPC, part of the AOL/Time Warner empire, Nuts promises to appeal to men aged 18 to 40 by reviving schoolboy enthusiasms. With “boy’s own” news features on fighter jets, fast cars and space travel, the magazine could remind older readers of classic titles such as Look and Learn and the Eagle comic.
“This is a magazine fathers and sons can read,” Phil Hilton, the editor, said. “When you take out the pension plan and the rap star 50 Cent, boys and men have the same eternal interests.”
But Nuts is facing immediate competition from a magazine designed for the unreconstructed male. “Beer, breasts and footy”, is the motto of Zoo Weekly, launched by Emap, home of the topselling celebrity title Heat. It is designed to put the squeeze on Nuts readers.
IPC and Emap are investing £8 million each in the new titles, which could eat into the established monthly men’s market dominated by FHM, which sells 600,000 copies. FHM and Loaded (down to 260,000 sales from its mid-90s peak) guarantee their readers a semi-naked cover model and much more inside.
A dummy edition of Zoo Weekly paraded a “breast count” of above 30 and contained an extensive feature on the “world’s sexiest arse”.
According to Mr Hilton, however, “Nuts man” wants to raise his eyes to higher matters. “Yes, we will have pictures of women where appropriate,” he said. “But it does a disservice to men to say they are only interested in one thing.
“All men want to see pictures of amazing engineering feats. It probably began at school. They want to look at the inside of a fighter jet, look at the surface of Mars and see the first pictures of an amazing new football stadium with a revolving roof.”
While Heat has uncovered an insatiable appetite for celebrity gossip among a largely young, female audience, Nuts man is seen as more concerned with world affairs. “This isn’t about the world of Sarah Jessica Parker’s handbag,” Mr Hilton said.
His magazine will examine whether, in the light of Ozzy Osbourne’s crash, quad-biking is a dangerous activity and assess the impact of a sky marshal firing a bullet in a pressurised aircraft cabin.
Zoo Weekly is gambling that the way to a young man’s wallet is still through the groin. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of naked flesh,” said Paul Merrill, the editor, who is lining up Jordan and Pamela Anderson as cover stars.
Male icons for Zoo readers are the comedian Ricky Gervais and Roy Keane, the uncompromising Manchester United captain. Mr Merrill is also offering the first “bloke’s TV listings” with satellite soft porn shows flagged up at the expense of lifestyle and property programmes.
“Zoo man” appears to be in a state of arrested development. Mr Merill said: “Lads have become more sophisticated and discerning since the Loaded generation of the mid-90s. But they never stop being interested in football and even in their 40s they will hark back to the fun times of their youth.”
Yet even Zoo will doff its baseball cap in the direction of current affairs. Mark Thomas, the left-wing comedian, will write a column, and market research has shown that Michael Moore, the American satirist, is a popular figure with the target audience. Reports on news stories will, however, favour conspiracy theories; photographic agencies across the world will be scoured for bold images of the bizarre.
Both Nuts and Zoo Weekly agree on one thing: football is a massive attraction to the target audience. Nuts will run photo-spreads on big match controversies, such as whether a ball crossed the line or not.
Nuts will be given away free next week, with the first £1.50 edition on sale the following week. IPC hopes to reach 200,000 readers, while Zoo (£1) has a target of 150,000. Advertising revenue is crucial to the survival of both magazines: the 18-35 male with disposable income is a much-sought-after animal.

Both editors are surprised that no one has tapped the weekly market for male readers. “Men mark their lives out by weeks,” Mr Merrill said. “Pub on Thursday night, football on Saturdays and probably sex on Friday.”

Oh. My. God. Please kill me if I come close to this. Represent, all guys who aren't like this!! Restore my faith!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, from *that* description of Nuts (Look and Learn? I loved that when I was a kid!) it makes me doubly sad that it's being aimed at men. Because *I'd* be interested in seeing articles about popular science and things, but seeing as the only women in it are probably going to be naked, so much for that idea. Sigh.

― the river fleet, Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Question - if they put Thierry Henry/David Beckham/Sven Goran Ericksson on the cover, would it sell more copies than that of interchangeable bikini-clad woman?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes because girls would also buy it. (perhaps)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It is actually a shame because I think there is a market for a generalist weekly men's magazine covering music and sport and pubs and consumer stuff and the sort of random nonsense that blokes like reading about without having to stoop to the lowest common denominator like Nuts seems to.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I think this is what Word are after, admittedly with a heavy music slant.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

But Word is for men over 35, really. Is Jack any good? James Brown approached me once, but I fucked it up.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I read a copy in the dentist's once, and it was pretty fucking boring.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the one issue of jack that i read had a fantastic first page but nothing good after that. has anyone seen it since it went A4?? it occurred to me the other day that i haven't noticed it in ages.

word isn't weekly and doesn't do pubs and sport, does it? also it's def aimed at an older age group. i do quite like it, though.

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, yes, but I still read it (word) as a 24-year-old female. I like Jack, although I haven't seen the last few issues. Opinion is divided here, but I can't face finding the thread at the moment, sorry.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I picked up a copy. The bird next door feature looks promising but the whole mag needs more tits and fanny.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Really, if they just concentrated on getting amatuer girls to take their clothes off I'd probably buy it regularly. As it is, the mag was a mild diversion on my bus journey home and the pic of the giant python was pretty scary.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

a couple of implants and you'll be just what they need.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

While Heat has uncovered an insatiable appetite for celebrity gossip among a largely young, female audience, Nuts man is seen as more concerned with world affairs. “This isn’t about the world of Sarah Jessica Parker’s handbag,” Mr Hilton said.

Well done Mr Hilton. Serious non-girly world affairs of utmost importance like:

His magazine will examine whether, in the light of Ozzy Osbourne’s crash, quad-biking is a dangerous activity and assess the impact of a sky marshal firing a bullet in a pressurised aircraft cabin.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd give Nell MacAndrew one though.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Best moment of Zoo Weekly interview: moronic yet already-exasperated presenter: "so how much is it going to cost?" "four million to start off" (or whatever), presenter, chuckling: "no i mean for your readers" twat: "?" Really it was.. almost... Nuts how clueless he was.

I thought you preferred Playboy types, Calum? Lowering yr expectations?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Euw! I can think of nicer ladies.

x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, Playboy types are only gonna go for me when I have some $$$$. You're not exactly talking about the brightest or most intelligent of women there are you?

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It's just cracking me up that someone would actually think Nuts is a good name for a magazine.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it is aimed at the he-man fetish crowd.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Really, since it all comes down to 'tits and fanny' I wonder why I bother with bloody journalism sometimes. I've a feeling C-Boy is their perfect target and it makes me want to cry.

(Nicole: it was nearly Knutz - so it could, just, have been worse)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Aww Anna! I wonder though, if boys really do want to see scantily clad women in their mainstream mags. I mean, surely if that's what they want, there is a whole other market that caters for their needs.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Knutz. For kuntz. Dear god.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

*sniggers* damnit!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes Anna, back to the novel BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

knutz for kuntz would have been better b/c I could have laughed at it in w h smiths.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

And then Norm got upset cos it's exploitation of women. Or something.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

bork bork bork

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

You can laugh at it in WH Smiths anyway! Laugh then cry anyway.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, but it wd have been funnier if it had been called knutz for kunntz!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Pete -sometimes it seems like breast implants might be a more viable career option.

(NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE INTERNET PERVERTS]

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

True dat.

Why did the other people think Zoo Weekly is a good name? What does it mean? I genuinely don't know what it's referring to. I hope not the women.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

that was an xpost!

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Why did the other people think Zoo Weekly is a good name?

Because the readers belong in one?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Anna: "Waaaaah, I'm exploited against etc etc by those dirty soft porn mongers".

Fucking hell.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

― @lex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

(NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE INTERNET PERVERTS]

-- Anna

C-child, being able to read is often handy on a text-based forum.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

C-Afterbirth....no wait, that's going a bit too far

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

c-nutsack haha

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

there should be a magazine called Pubcraft

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Editor: Tim 'Tim Hopkins' Hopkins

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Really? Although placenta is supposed to be quite norishing for plants etc.

Actually, I wasn't saying anything about exploitation. In my opinion the girls in mainstream mens' mags are in a happy alliance with the publishers to extract as much cash from the readers as possible.

The point I was making: I know a few people who have worked at FHM or Loaded, and really taken pride in what they do. Wanted to come up with strong writing, good joke, interesting reportage features, yet however late they stay at work, all that careful thought is just going to end up getting wanked over (in a literal sense, not in the same way readers of, say, The Modern Review, might).

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Anna: "Waaaaah, I'm exploited against etc etc by those dirty soft porn mongers".
Fucking hell.

surely people who buy porn/softporn mags are the ones exploited against. Like, if you are gonna pay money just to see a pair of boobs...........

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

how likely is it that Zoo Weekly is just a complete pisstake to generate publicity? i'm hoping it actually treats it's readership with genuine contempt as well - that would actually be potentially amusing - taglines to include 'If you had pockets this would fit right in them you moronic sub-ape', 'Putting the sex in sexism - not that we expect you to get that joke you fucking nonce' and 'Because you're worthless'

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(in a literal sense, not in the same way readers of, say, The Modern Review, might).

well you never know.....

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

dammit i used to read FHM and they had some interesting featurettes!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

(Anna otm basically)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

30 new answers while I was taking the dog for a walk, I should have known. Sigh.

Is it not possibly to market lifestyle magazines or whatever (rather than a specific music magazine or fashion/style magazine) which are NOT gender segregated or gender oriented? If they would make it, I would buy it. And you would write for it, Anna.

― the river fleet, Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think anyone really buys FHM purely as wank material, Anna. I don't understand why anyone would when porn is available for that purpose - most people I know who read it do so for the amusingly puerile features. I don't know many people who read FHM post-university, though.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(readers of the modern review, *gulp*)

― x0x, ex-reader of the modern review, version 2 (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh but i guess Anna means the puerile features are only digested once, but the 12 pages devoted to Isla Fisher (or whoever was popular at the time) in her pants end up revisited more

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Ignore me, I'm just being despondant and projecting my thoughts about something else on to this.

Kate: I think we're expected to read newspapers for that kind of thing. Even though I like the idea, I'm not sure how advertisers would feel about it.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks Matt, that was the point I was trying to make upthread! If only I'd gone to uni....see other thread!

x-x-x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with Kate in that gender-specific magazines are, or at least it's nice to think of them as, an outmoded/outdated notion. i would rather read a woman's mag than a men's with regards to actually learning something (the 'Positions Of The Month' are surprisingly more sordid in the former)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

This is "More" you're referring to steve? That's the only one worth reading.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I read only heat and the LRB*. I've never bought FHM/Loaded cos I thought they were just wank material for soft lads who couldn't face buying actual pr0n.

*Big lie.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

umm, what did Kate say? where?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate = the river fleet these days. Joint witness relocation program with Marcello, I assume.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

They think hard, those Feds.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Right, caught up now.

Yeah, I would buy that myself. But like anna said, 'newspapers' but why can't a glossy magazine be able to cover stuff like that? I don't object to the girlpix but when its front cover/back cover/inside/patronising forward etc.. urg.

Nuts mag 'pick of the day' Real Sex channel 5. Oh really?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I should also point out that the "woman fixing car in the rain" ad is incredibly offensive to me in ways that I can't quite pin down.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S CALLED "NUTS". I mean, have we suddenly slipped into the Daniverse where horrifically crap innuendoes are automatically greenlighted with full vim and vigor?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Bit like the "Who's best Men or Women" flavour of the "Driving Test" program. Definition of Car crash television?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

lamentably their first choice was already taken

http://www.globalnetexec.com/nads.gif

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thing is, right:

Heat magazine was considered a flop when it first came out. Eventually, it caught on word of mouth style, the style modified and after a few scoops and stuff, it happened.

Moral: Aim 'selectively' and it will filter down. Appealing to the mass demographic ends up appealing positively to nobody.

I reckon anyway.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd give Nell MacAndrew one though.
-- C-Man (cma...), January 20th, 2004.

chances are she'd return it to you unopened, though...

― stevie (stevie), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It wasn't 'a few scoops and stuff' that raised Heat's sales. It was a wholesale revision of its style towards the kind of cheeky irrerverence of mid-80s Smash Hits, which is what editor Mark Frith claimed he'd been gunning for all along. And Emap were so desperate by that point that the board let the editor edit the magazine.
Some mass demographic magazines do work (TV listings magazines sell massively, FHM is hardly selective).

― Canada Briggs (Canada Briggs), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.idroplast.com/vim.jpg

http://www.pet.co.jp/trend/pic/vigor.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"the style modified" was the frith revision in other words.

FHM took a very long time to become the mass-demographic mag it is now. GQ mag was "Gentlemen's Quarterly" before it went monthly. Thanks to Maxim, mostly. And loaded.

Anyhow, there'll be a style revision on "nuts" before the year's out. renaming it to "nuts and bolts" or something..

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"All men want to see pictures of amazing engineering feats. It probably began at school. They want to look at the inside of a fighter jet, look at the surface of Mars and see the first pictures of an amazing new football stadium with a revolving roof."

NGH

― Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

is that dog wearing reading glasses? awesome

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

The Zoo mag guy in the interview kept stressing pictures too, and said his magazine would have "the hottest pictures" FIRST. That's his big idea, photographs. It almost endeared him to me really, it seems quixotic to imagine this superblazo wunderbar PHOTOGRAPHIC TECHNOLOGY as the kind of exclusive value-add that puts his mag ahead of the rest.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

A thread happened, and then a fart, and then a thread again.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"FHM took a very long time to become the mass-demographic mag it is now"
Well, Emap bought the unsuccessful FHM from a smaller publisher in 1995 as a response to IPC's Loaded and launched it in that successful mass-demographic style...very successfully.

― Canada Briggs (Canada Briggs), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

“All men want to see pictures of amazing engineering feats."

That's referring to the half-naked women, right?

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I really don't have a lot of time for magazines. I feel guilty enough as it is about the things I don't do without wasting yet more time.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Why would a roof revolve?

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

And Emap were so desperate by that point that the board let the editor edit the magazine.

THe fact that this is such a rarity makes me very sad.

Why would a roof revolve?

Hahaha if you're asking that, THEY'VE GOT YOU!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps so, but there again I like football, drinking, breasts, pornography and pictures of injured people, and - wait for it - I DON'T NEED A FUCKING MAGAZINE TO VALIDATE THIS, PARTICULARLY NOT ONE CALLED NUTS OR NUTZ OR KNUTZ or whatever.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Things is, to go back to Heat, I actually quite liked it when it was supposedly a flop. It was a decent TV mag with fairly good taste and it pointed me in the direction of the Office for example when it first started.

I lost interest the minute they changed the format to be nothing other than a photo journal for those with an interest in the shopping habits of vacuous 'celebrities'.

― mms (mms), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

The only magazines I read regularly are Private Eye and New Scientist. I agree that they feel a bit like a waste of time - I've started reading books instead of newspapers, and it's more satisfying to the power of 100.

Nuts and Zoo sound absolutely fucking appalling and a damning indictment of our etc. etc.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

There isn't one 'mainstream' British newspaper that isn't getting worse. They all are. Even the Daily Sport :(

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

they're both phenomenally depressing, but then again the only mag i really like is national geographic (that also has breasts in it occasionally, though knockers are apparently necessary when dealing with matters anthropological).

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey dave, was thinking about you earlier, hope you are keeping well!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I'm wiv Markelby in re: giving up papers for books, it *is* much more satisfying.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Books with the telly times in....

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

When I was going through w h smith in newcastle central blah blah yesterday, I saw another title is a similar vein (blue vein haha) to "nutz" and "zoo". It had sven goran erikson on the cover. It actually managed to look even worse and cheesier than the other 2 titles, even at a glance, which is, uh, some kind of achievement, I suppose. According to media guardian, these magazines have been quite successful, and have re-invigorated the ladmag sector a bit or something like that. Perhaps the cockroaches wd do a better job of being earth's nr1 species, eh?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 14 August 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

Tory politician reckon Nuts and Zoo are responsible for broken Britain..

Lad mags 'linked to social ills'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7540113.stm

"Shadow education secretary Michael Gove linked the publications to relationship breakdown and fatherless children in a high-profile speech."

― djmartian, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:27 (seventeen years ago)

This government gets more like the "TALIBAN" everyday, Ban smoking, drinking alcohol, reading lads mags.

If I wanted to live in Afganistan I would emigrate there.

pete tong

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:35 (seventeen years ago)

more comments from Brits..
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=5195&edition=1&ttl=20080804133702

― djmartian, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:40 (seventeen years ago)

At least HYS is attacking a Tory for once.

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:42 (seventeen years ago)

I can't say I've ever found the compunction to buy a lads' mag, Linux Format & Computer Shopper are more my scene.

^^^presumably working on his own 'weird science' project

― DG, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:48 (seventeen years ago)

lol was about to quote that, thing is i agree with him

too cowardly to buy real pornography

is my favourite

― Ste, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:50 (seventeen years ago)

That music magazine Zero (which I've never actually read) used that last example as an actual slogan. This always puzzled me

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:51 (seventeen years ago)

I wonder what "lads' mag" publisher and major Conservative Party donor Richard Desmond has to say on the matter.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:58 (seventeen years ago)

plz can we have the old socialists v nazis style of politics back again kthnxbye.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:59 (seventeen years ago)

Lads mags', harmless photographs of attractive women willing to pose for them and give interviews, are probably read by a maximum of a million men each week. 'Loose Women', a TV show that is powered by feminism's universal hatred of males, gets over two million views daily. Yet the latter will probably be ignored - or, worse, praised - while sanctions are placed on the literary 'filth'.

I joked about this once during open mic stand-up. How poignant my words seem now.

Political Madness Gone Correct, Brighton, United Kingdom

― DG, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:14 (seventeen years ago)

brings a tear to yr eye, eh?

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:17 (seventeen years ago)

"It just makes me wonder what Bill Hicks would have made of it all"

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:18 (seventeen years ago)

Ah, that cheery old populist libertarian Bill Hicks who called Thatcher's Britain a "socialist fucking nightmare."

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:22 (seventeen years ago)

i'm amazed that loose women really gets to some people

― DG, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:29 (seventeen years ago)

I joked about this once during open mic stand-up. How poignant my words seem now.

can LZBC pls make this their latest meme?

― stevie, Monday, 4 August 2008 15:10 (seventeen years ago)

Seconded

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 4 August 2008 15:15 (seventeen years ago)

too cowardly to buy real pornography

is my favourite

-- Ste, Monday, 4 August 2008 12:50 (3 hours ago) Link

is a jonathan ross quote, i'm pretty sure.

― darraghmac, Monday, 4 August 2008 16:40 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

New monthly men’s style magazine, BUCK, has announced a national launch date of Thursday 30th October. The first issue features Jethro Cave, son of indie rocker Nick Cave, styled in winter knits, bands Ipso Facto and Golden Silvers talking about London style, and Xfm DJ Rick Edwards discussing his personal take on fashion.

― Carrie Bradshaw Layfield (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 11:52 (seventeen years ago)

indie rocker Nick Cave

Cold

― The Slash My Father Wrote (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 11:59 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.buckstyle.com

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:11 (seventeen years ago)

Lord knows the world needed a GQ for the Old Blue Last crowd.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:13 (seventeen years ago)

jesus christ

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:16 (seventeen years ago)

please tell me that's a mcsweeneys article

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:16 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.buckstyle.com/?s=9

Hey guys, thanks for unearthing this previously obscure "Breakfast Club" cafe in Soho I'd never heard of it before.

Maybe next issue you can do a 20 page feature on Hummus Bros?

― Carrie Bradshaw Layfield (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:26 (seventeen years ago)

references to pop culture hang from the walls
references to pop culture hang from the walls
references to pop culture hang from the walls
references to pop culture hang from the walls
references to pop culture hang from the walls

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:30 (seventeen years ago)

BUCK?!

― easy, lionel (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:36 (seventeen years ago)

C'mon on then media cru, let's deadpool this. My guess is four issues.

― Carrie Bradshaw Layfield (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:36 (seventeen years ago)

hang on, i'm still getting my head round that title. fucking BUCK??!!

― easy, lionel (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:37 (seventeen years ago)

Think it'll fold two issues after the Russell Brand cover, whenever that is. They'll have run out of ideas by then as well.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:37 (seventeen years ago)

has this fallen through a hole in time from 2002 or something?

three issues. maybe even two. wow.

― easy, lionel (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:39 (seventeen years ago)

Seeing as the 'fashion' section of the website seems to be entirely promotions for Topman, I would guess that they have zero advertising and will therefore make it to issue three if they're lucky.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:42 (seventeen years ago)

hang on, i'm still getting my head round that title. fucking BUCK??!!

i hope the two curves on the B and the connecting bottom line are really faded out

― Annoying Display Name (blueski), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:44 (seventeen years ago)

Those mocking Buck have obv not seen Australia's contribution to the men's mag oeuvre: RALPH

http://ralph.ninemsn.com.au/img/cover/Oct_issue_slant.jpg

http://ralph.ninemsn.com.au/

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:45 (seventeen years ago)

ralph doesn't look like it takes itself very seriously, though.

― easy, lionel (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:46 (seventeen years ago)

they've got their own Keeley too?

― Annoying Display Name (blueski), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:47 (seventeen years ago)

it's the same one...

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:50 (seventeen years ago)

"British babe Keeley Hazell is saving the world, one spectacular breast at a time"

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:51 (seventeen years ago)

That doesn't actually make sense.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 12:54 (seventeen years ago)

When you think about maybe the world is just one spectacular breast and humanity is merely the rapidly cooling C

― The Slash My Father Wrote (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 13:10 (seventeen years ago)

i think it's missing the word "using"...

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 13:12 (seventeen years ago)

.. running into the valleys...

― Mark G, Wednesday, 8 October 2008 13:18 (seventeen years ago)

is the breakfast club in soho now as well?

― ILX Systern (ken c), Wednesday, 8 October 2008 13:38 (seventeen years ago)

five years pass...

pouring one out ;_;

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-26837490

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 21:06 (eleven years ago)

requiem for deez nuts

― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 21:11 (eleven years ago)

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