crush archetypes

A) Angelina Jolie-like big-lipped big-eyed obviously insane/possibly extraterrestrial girls
2) very tiny Kylie Minogue-esque girls who are a good foot+ shorter than me
D)girls whose eyes (like mine) move independently of one another

All my crushes have something in common. I blame Shaggy off Scooby Doo.

I Like To Stare At: er, superindie girls like in that article.

I actually crush on: all types all over the place.

more importantly and more pervasively: sarcastic women, spooky women, actresses, writers, firebrands, and women who love to dance more than they actually CAN dance

that's about it. recently i realised that that's virtually a description of MY MOTHER. i'm gonna try not to spend too much time pondering on that cos i think it's more common (if perhaps dubious) than people think only they may not realise - i'm saying it's probably quite natural to be attracted to someone whose basic attributes vaguely resemble that of their parents - i sure hope so anyway...or shall i just go and sit other way away from the rest of you guys?

(my favourite Greek Myth is Prometheus & Pandora anyway)

Sadly my tastes remain as indie as they were 6 or 7 years ago.

I may at some point try to use mentalist Schopenhauer reasoning to prove backwards that this means I am clearly not a mod

Nichole, yesterday.

(xpost with bnw)

No, it's a nicer term for short. One of the crushs used it alot.

second one cos I'm small.

I think I like tomboys probably. Or at least in the past I have done. Don't like to rule anything out though, for the future, heh.

a curvy, pervy girl, not some sick-looking stick chick.

likes to go to rock shows. has a dorky, goofy sense of humor. good with acerbic put-downs. likes to be playful & weird. likes adventure.

oh, and she can look like this, too.

Fourth Street Fair pics are here

hugs are important.

and naps.

(xpost)

so you're into girls that can make you sing¿ never had that happen myself.

and they have to like me playing with their hair.

they have to like me playing with their hair.

What if you don't have any? Can't discriminate....

where at?

I've made a note of that. Can't speak for the others.

The only common thread I've noticed is a love of music.

For a while there, I found myself hooking up with or crushing on only children who were also children of teachers however, that seems to have passed somewhat.

Even though I am none of the following if a girl is it would potentially attract me to her: vegetarian, artist, feminist, liberal, successful in school or work or whatever.

But of course if anyone remotely attractive shows an interest in me I will immediately find things to like about them.

-- geeta (geet...) (webmail), February 12th, 2004. (geeta)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

confident crazy weird and spontaneous OTM
-- nickalicious (nza2342...) (webmail), February 12th, 2004. (nickalicious)

Geeta and Nickalicious are so right.

i believe this happened to heisenberg too

although lately, i've been digging the prematurely grey guys (like anderson cooper. he's dreamy.)

this isn't something i've picked, just patterns i've observed over the years. i think i've only dated one blonde guy seriously.

Anyways for me, make me laugh, make me cry, make me smile, make me dinner ;), big hips, i like all hair colors and i like it long, appreciates my music tastes, tolerates my ups and down which not too many girls before my wife did, likes the occassional beer with me, likes to scream at the tv when the red sox are on, cuddles, isn't afraid to be herself around me, can let one go when she needs to i don't care. cuz you damn well better believe i will.

Well, obviously not all of those things as I'm not even sure *one* man exists with all those qualities.

Wow Melissa, you pretty much latched onto all the physical attributes I would've listed under my own description of "crush archetypes" back when I was a teenager. It still mostly applies, though I don't subscribe to the "very skinny" aesthetic as much as I did back then.

Your "has never had a 'bad boy' period" is also very OTM here, IMHO.

As for what else I like, I like someone who will be tolerant of my faith life (because it's very important to me -- I don't do prosleytizing, so I wouldn't be looking to convert the person), someone who looks at the world in shades of gray and isn't overly idealistic or naive, someone with a high level of intelligence, someone who lacks machismo, loves to do a wide variety of things, who's funny, won't be a layabout, treats his pets well (and hopefully has dogs for pets), loves dancing, enjoys going to concerts more than he enjoys going to clubs, and who is generally a kind, decent individual.

i can't think of anything else terribly important really

It's like, "omg, do you have a fucked-up accent from living too many places?! Here is my vagina."

:/

"Thass a noice vageen!"

Oh, God, what have I done?

gabbneb, how's that wonkette crush working out for you?

Didn't your mom teach you to think before offering your vageen?

(x.post)

cute, quirky, unemotionally available girls

Before I clicked on it, I was *wondering* if this was the thread where I busted out a slightly-embarrassing and lengthy description of my ideal crush.

And yes, yes it was.

I don't think have a crush archetype, but I've noticed I often find girls with really short hair or a mohawk attractive, and masculine-looking girls in general. Piercings are nice too. Also, girls who aren't afraid to use dirty words and tell greasy jokes make me go "Aw!". I have this theory that I'm really a lesbian in a man's body.

aw-ful around lesbians

Sweet sparkly-eyed girls with a dark side. Someone who's mostly self-assured but still needs a bit of looking after.

Actually I've had a crush for at least two lesbians before I knew they were lesbians, I guess that just strengthens my theory.

Cocky Irish boys, a little arrogant but poss broken somewhere inside, with eyes that crinkle and half-way grins. Oy.

girls 18-32

i don't get the glasses thing. why does bad vision make someone more or less attractive? glasses don't actually = smarter, stupid boys.

Sweet sparkly-eyed girls with a dark side. Someone who's mostly self-assured but still needs a bit of looking after.

I already have a boyfriend. Sorry.

xpost, don't hate.

glasses are hot on girls :)

(and of course i'm not just saying that because i wear them)

I get the glasses thing. I get it inside and out.

It's like, "omg, do you have a fucked-up accent from living too many places?! Here is my vagina."

flip the genders and this is like exactly my boat atm

glasses are hot on boys too

but seriously, if someone can keep up with/surpass my absurdist "yes and" style of conversation and maintain eye contact, then holy shit, i'm smitten and it's the worst. brown eyes sometimes help too (although weirdly I've never actually 'been' with a brown-eyed girl; always only crushed on them from afar)

xpost Yeah, I have worn contacts before, and they were easy and comfortable and all the things you fear contacts are not, but I still came back to glasses. I just like the way they look, full stop.

glasses look great!

20/20 vision is hot

hrumph

I want contacts (but mostly so I can wear burglar masks and balaclavas and superhero clothes)

(not kidding)

Big eyes, big brains, big boobs, under 5'5". I grow and develop in many way, I contain multitudes and have lived many lives, but this one thing DOES NOT CHANGE.

girls 18-32

-- max, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 3:37 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

but more like 14-40

Cold, reserved and a bit aloof works for me, especially if tall and with kind, crinkly eyes.

HAHA will m.!

i'm not sure if i have a crush type. it's been a mixed bag. but recent evidence would suggest i crush on dark haired, dark eyed guys, who play guitar and write songs about me. and who like art and books and have other weird interests i've never been into before but now find myself interested in.

i dont get the glasses thing either. they just seem like they would be a pain to carry around.

when you wear them all the time they become part of your body. in fact, i'm so used to mine that if i'm asked to describe how i look, i almost always forget to mention them.

my vision is -6.00, so I never carry them. they're always just on my face.

xpost rubyredd otm.

they were easy and comfortable and all the things you fear contacts are not,

Not for me. I have worn many types many different times and they just irritate my eyes. I chalk it up to allergies. Glasses are easier.

Sunny, the glasses fit on your face so you don't have to hold them in your hand. :)

yeah i would definitely give up my glasses if i had the option/contacts weren't a bitchload of work

Do you folks usually end up with people who correspond to your archetype? Because I always haven't, yet I still might've had an equally big crush on them.

i'm still waiting/hoping to officially end up with mine.

so girls with glasses have to take them off for making-out/sex and therefore can't see you as well when you are being "intimate". so i'm going to chalk this crush archetype up to male insecurities about their bodies.

Oh yeah, my archtype is basically my current boyfriend. I mean, I've dated other types too, but this one is my favorite.

xp bell u funny

Taking glasses off is the best part.

I see better up close (e.g take glasses off when reading) so the sex-thing isn't a factor.

I don't really have an archetype. All of my partners have been pretty different from each other.

or you can just leave them on. you don't actually need to remove your glasses for kissing or most sexual positions...

M. White not unOTM there. Ruby also right in theory but I get worried about the glasses getting broken and go soft

Do you folks usually end up with people who correspond to your archetype?

Pretty much, yes.

xpost
They get smeared.

But you must be careful not to remove them and carelessly toss them on the bed. You'll rollover on them.

so girls with glasses have to take them off for making-out/sex and therefore can't see you as well when you are being "intimate"

that's not it at all. ruby otm, just leave them on. The lights, too.

gabbneb, how's that wonkette crush working out for you?

haha, he is/are the dreamiest!

i actually don't know what i was talking about there - i think AMC is kinda good-looking, but only decided that v v recently - i think i was saying that the cartoon girl at the top of the wankette summed up someone else's archetype that had been posted previously.

i've had/have an archetype of sorts, but it doesn't really apply anymore.

I can see fine up close and I don't want to break mine so I take them off, plus taking off someone's glasses is just another verion of taking off clothes and I'm a big fan of that, too.

curvy, curly brunettes

I've never had sex with my glasses on, sex is kinda fuzzy and more touch-based anyway, so I don't care if I might not see everything to the finest detail.

Sweet sparkly-eyed girls with a dark side. Someone who's mostly self-assured but still needs a bit of looking after.

I already have a boyfriend. Sorry.

:-(

I actually thought about the actual question and realized that, no, I don't have an archetype, really. I crush on so many different kinds of women = crush slut.

but you don't have one that, like, gets a free pass to crushdom?

because i crush on EVERYONE, but some people don't even need to try ot get crushed on. they're the archetype.

Do you folks usually end up with people who correspond to your archetype?

Actually I NEVER end up w/ my 'archetype.' It's the people I like in spite of their lack of archetypitude that are generally the keepers...

Melissa's 'archetype' upthread is o_O

:(

Dark haired girls with fair skin more often than blondes (though I love me a pretty blonde), redheads always get my attention, but more than anything it's attitude/personality 'cause I know plenty of pulchritudinous ladies who still do nothing for me.

Unavailable, of course.

is there a personality archetype, though? i mean, my 'archetype' is mostly personality.

Dark haired girls with fair skin more often than blondes (though I love me a pretty blonde), redheads always get my attention, but more than anything it's attitude/personality 'cause I know plenty of pulchritudinous ladies who still do nothing for me.

Monsieur White speaks for me also.

I crush on all types but a lot of them tend to be tall, skinny, dark-haired, brainy, with some sort of creative/arty hobby or interest. Yeah, I'm pretty boring myself.

:(

-- Melissa W, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 11:45 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

its so specific it can even qualify as an archetype! yr just setting yrself up for disappointment by idolizing certain characteristics, one of the things about meeting and dating new and diff ppl is you start to appreciate people who are different from you/your 'expectations' of cool

it'd be interesting to break that archetype down and decide roughly what percentage of the male population has each trait, and multiply them all together to see how many men you'd need to meet to meet that guy (of course accounting for the fact that some of the traits might be 'linked,' ie. if 15% of the population had feminine cheekbones and 15% was tall and skinny, but a higher proportion of people with the high cheekbones were actually tall/skinny, etc... okay, there's no real scientific way to do it, but it would be neat)

x-post

Well, it was just supposed to be a fantasy ideal. Also, was written when I was still a teenager. And weirdly all of my crushes up to that point actually had fit that ideal with little variation.

Also, I think the romantically unsuccessful tend to hone their ideals/archetypes to ridiculous specificity to avoid getting hurt. Because when you have standards no one can possibly live up to, then at least you can't be rejected.

but with all of those things, even if each of those characteristics were in 50% of people, "that guy" would be approximately 1 in 72,057,594,037,927,900-- that's 72 quadrillion, btw. I don't think that many humans have ever been alive ever.

I have NO idea why I'm writing this

xpost totally re: unsuccessful = specificity, i remember a whiiiile ago we had a similar thread and i basically said that my friends who were single for the longest amount of time tended to be the pickiest about who they'd spend their cuddly hours w/

xpost Melissa, it's still Jonny Greenwood then? ;) he totally fits about 90% of that description, no?

Haha. Umm. No comment?

I realized this year that I tend to get huge crushes on guys who are very religious and intellectually serious about it (usually Catholics). Of course, me + a very serious Catholic = certain unresolveable disagreements, so it's not a relationship guideline, and I have only dated one such person...but a thoughtful comment on the trinity will win my adoration for life.

The type I've been with the most is the dark haired/fair skinned, Irish or Scots or Breton type but I've been in love with two blondes, two redheads, a girl from Mali, and several mousey-haired, non-descript ladies who could sass the pants off of anybody.

play on, playa

I feel silly now.

Why?

eh u were a teenager, thank god i didnt post on ilx as a teenager

haha it's ok Melissa. teh greenwood is still pretty crush-worthy. in any case you had better taste as a teen than I did (sad, emo boys in eyeliner was the type then).

Haven't read the thread but what about the types of people who fancy YOU? Do you find that you endear yourselves to a particular type, perhaps not even on purpose? As a mid-20s fellow I'm surprised at a recent trend of women in their early/mid 30s who seem to think I'm just lovely and fascinating and all that, whereas there's no such luck with girls of my age who I find to be very affronting and standoffish. Perhaps this is because I don't actually try incredibly hard with members of the opposite sex who are quite a bit older than me, therefore loosening up a bit more, whereas people my age there's a certain feeling of "do i fancy them/don't i? shitty why am i not having a normal conversation now". Or is it something inherent in women of these ages? hmmm... where am i going with this? nowhere. good.

people who fancy YOU?

Truckers.

Read: the desperate and the non-discriminating.

what about the types of people who fancy YOU?

Girls with glasses.

No, honestly I don't really know. That's a hard thing to know, innit?

Many of my nerdy male friends fancied me in college, so perhaps the type that crushes on me (short, nerdy, feminine, opinionated? is that my type?). It was awkward because I always felt like nobody I liked was either available or interested in me, but I couldn't complain around this group of friends because there were too many unrequited crushes going in my direction. In terms of actual relationship possibilities, I would love to end up with someone much like one of them, with feelings requited by both parties.

Melissa, do not feel bad. I'm not even going to look upthread to see what I might've written. Also I think you were OTM with comments about high-standards and being single.

I always got so frustrated with all of my nerdy friends who would crush on the same nerd-friendly girl back in the day. I just wanted to shout at them, "why are you even interested in her?! just because she doesn't roll her eyes when you ask her something?"

i ended up dating her for a long time months later, ironically

just because she doesn't roll her eyes when you ask her something?

I would say this is a plus.

"Tell me, how do you feel about 45 year old virgins who still live with their parents?"

"Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you're on."

Haven't read the thread but what about the types of people who fancy YOU?

Lately, for some reason, it's been girls who just want to have a bit of fun with me, and when things start to get further, they say they don't want commitment now (or ever) and leave me. :( I'm not sure if I for some reason attract the sort of people who're afraid of commitment, or is there something inherently scary in me, and people just use the don't-want-to-commit line as an excuse to get out...

Also, most of the girls I'd ended up with have been more or less leftist, strong-willed and independent, which I guess is understandable, because it's hard to imagine a conservative, submissive, traditionally feminine girl fancying a guy like me.

girls who have liked me = impressionable, arty, fun, perhaps a tiny bit unhinged or over-dramatic. actually i don't know a great deal of girls who've liked me. only really in the last couple of years have i felt noticed. before that, i wore (thin, unfashionable) glasses, had limited social tact, and went to school with snooty posh girls from kensington and hampstead with clear and present superiority complexes.

with so much immaturity and callowness ironed out over the past few months, though, i'll get back to this thread, perhaps, in a few weeks' time, after i've been back at uni for a while. i have a great feeling that my first genuinely mutual, loving relationship isn't far away.

I would say this is a plus.

What I meant was, people were falling for this girl because she was the first girl to give them the time of day, but they were too scared to see if other girls WOULD give them the time of day, so they'd all enter what they knew were entirely unrequited crushes.

really bitchy ice queens.

ugh. I had a phase like that. Run away, dude. Run away.

I haven't got a real crush archetype but there's a sort of English rose, generous, unpretentious, charming, sharp woman with a proper BBC accent and sly wink that I will always quietly adore. Women who are securely dignified enough to be up for embarassing nonsense and have a lot of secrets and good stories; Kate Winslet sounds like she'd fit the bill. And anyone who enjoys making me laugh till I cry is a hero to me.

Regarding glasses, IMO they can bring focus to some faces but are generally an obstruction. I always thought the heavy black frames as something ironically sexy a la Austin Powers was just totally off (...though come to think of it maybe Austin is the only one who wears them? I've never seen the films).

I wore round, wire-frame glasses through my teenage years and switched to contacts at the end of college — probably less comfortable at the end of the day, but they don't get fogged. And at least at first I felt more like my "inner child" was back on the surface, though sometimes I think the smirky adolescent might come out more if I wore glasses (something I associate with greater self-confidence, oddly).

what about the types of people who fancy YOU?

Nerds.

I tend to have long-term relationships with people because if you find me attractive in the beginning, you're likely to continue to find me attractive as the relationship carries on. I am big, loud, funny, smart, opinionated, kind of geeky, generous, bad-tempered, and a bit prone to bouts of unexplained crying. All of this can be discovered about me within a week. I R WYSIWYG lady.

Who I crush on: tall guys. Preferably with glasses, but it's not a deal-breaker.

i used to have a preference for girls in glasses but now i don't care

i just dig babyfaced straight-haired faettys

never quite been able to pinpoint where that started

i'm not sure what sort of people fancy me, it doesn't happen with any statistically useful frequency

I tend to have long-term relationships with people because if you find me attractive in the beginning, you're likely to continue to find me attractive as the relationship carries on.

I'm sorry if I'm stupid, but I don't understand this sentence... What does continuing to find you attractive has to do with long-term relationships?

i think it tends to help with the 'long term' aspect

Whoops, sorry, for some reason I mixed up "long-term" and "long-distance" in my head.

I like a variety of nerd types, cuties and a certain sort of blondes. I like short hair on girls that have a good looking face and aren't fat. I like people that are crazy in a cool way (a way that doesn't annoy me).

Once you've been with one tall guy with glasses, you've been with them all.
some girl told me that

mmmm... sexy, scruffy, lefty, creative, funny, vague/bemused-seeming, superclever and older than me. yum.
-- emsk, Friday, February 13, 2004 2:44 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

haha none of this has changed. i should add stronger than me, bigger than me and very independent/un-needy.

what about the types of people who fancy YOU?

puppies. or if they're not, they turn into puppies. i don't get it. i don't want a human puppy :(

I am kind of disappointed no theology nerds have stepped up since I posted.

puppies. or if they're not, they turn into puppies. i don't get it. i don't want a human puppy :(

In my defence I'm on the dangerous dogs list with girls I'm not interested in. And very independent and un-needy at all other times.

I've dated a theology student, it went surprisingly well considering I'm a hard-core, irredeemable atheist. Maybe I'm just mellowed out since my teen years, I have no need to debate religion anymore.

Where were all these girls crushing on tall guys with glasses 10 years ago, that's what I want to know :P

Theology students aren't all religious, you know.

Yeah, but all the ones I've met have been. (Religion students, not so much, but they can be pretty interesting.)

My best friend says my crush type is: small, cute, nervous and slightly dizzy. Another of my friends tells me that "barking mad" needs to be added to that description.

I agree with Maria, religion students can be non-religious, but I don't understand why anyone non-religious would apply to the faculty of theology. In Finland at least the majority of them become priests.

bit like men doing a course in feminism y/n

Once you've been with one tall guy with glasses, you've been with them all.
some girl told me that

I do not think she is correct here.

Er, theology is a subject based on (one) religion, whereas feminism isn't something based on being a woman.

1 - girls who remind me of angelina jolie in hackers. helps if hair is pink or green or something
2 - short brunette + glasses + baudrillard book or whatever = marry me

Tuomas, I think he meant because neither of them exist.

I am kind of disappointed no theology nerds have stepped up since I posted.

I have a friend you'd probably like. I lived with him in college and he once told me that after he graduated he wanted to become either a cinematographer or a clergyman. Totally smart dude: I entered college feeling fairly dismissive of organized religion, in part because no one I knew had ever made a compelling argument in favor, and he would sit up until 3 AM with me quoting Kierkegaard. He's currently studying at Berkeley's Graduate Theological Union. Oh, and he grew up Catholic but doesn't want to be a priest since he wants to get married and stuff.

Uhh there are definitely men in women's studies courses. My friend was one of two guys who took it one year... forty girls, and him, and this other guy. My friend took it because he loves being a devil's advocate (I think he might get killed one day) and the other guy did it because he's a sleaze-ball who thought he might get lucky (he actually went to high school with us, weirdly, but signed up independently). My friend LOVED the course, because the teacher was really fucking good. One day, he was like, "Will! Come to my women's studies course!" and I was like "uhh okay?" and the teacher talked about women's prisons and showed video footage and it was possibly the most damaging thing i've ever seen. and all the girls in the room were looking at me, because I was the only boy who didn't look like a troll in the room (sorry friend and other guy, u are trollz)

i meant god and feminism but thats a good story which confirms a few things for me.

Jaymc, he sounds great! haha where do I sign up?

I've taken a couple Women's Studies Courses. I learned a lot and did not mind being surrounded by 200 girls who swooned every time I mentioned that I read bell hooks for fun.

Thanks for the link, BIG HOOS.

i have a great feeling that my first genuinely mutual, loving relationship isn't far away.

this will end badly

girls who like me: cripplingly insecure

xpost: live and exclusive here on the ILE News Channel

Kate Winslet sounds like she'd fit the bill

Jeez, aim a little higher, why dontcha. ;)

pretty sure i have no crush archetype!
or several different ones

I've taken a couple Women's Studies Courses. I learned a lot and did not mind being surrounded by 200 girls who swooned every time I mentioned that I read bell hooks for fun.

but did thee plow any of em?

'fit the bill'

A WGS minor never plows & tells?

hoe pun etc

xpost

Had many, many opportunities, but I was attached.

as a forward-thinking feminist man you should not have held your partner hostage in a monogamous relationship, and instead banged your entire women's studies class to show that you're okay with her and you being in an open relationship

that's not forward-thinking, it's science fiction

xxpost

You know bragging about your opportunities just screams "never stood a chance".

Yeah, I regretted that as soon as I posted it.

;_; etc

haha :)

also

that's not forward-thinking, it's science fiction

-- kenan, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 5:18 PM

otm

man guys you sound like you think i am serious sometimes, it's stressful

I read it as a joke, dude.

Figured it was a joke, thought kenan was funny. xpost

i don't get it

hey, we've successfully bewildered someone.

i hope we've all learned something about the true spirit of crushes

I was joking, too! Because I think I once read a Heinlein book called "In the Future We'll All Have the Right to Die and Fuck Everything That Moves"

ohhhhhh. shit was completely over my head. oops.

BIG LOI aka the facebookfeminist

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/Irespectyouasaperson.jpg

HAHA WHAT

u must not be familiar w/ The best of Marc Loi : Facebook Feminist

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/UnlikeyouItreatwomenwithrespect.jpg

that is one messed up little dude.

Wow.

I can't believe I missed this. What board was it on...?

noise

Haha, Jesus Christ that dude!

As someone who's about to graduate from women's studies I have to defend people like me, and say that there are also men who do gender studies and/or are feminists for other reasons than personal gain. At least I've yet to meet this mythical Guy Who's Doing Women's Studies Just To Score Chicks.

Well, the dude I met was taking a single course, not a major or anything. Also... he is probably kinda fucked up in his head. I heard weird stories from one of his relationships (she is weird too). Needless to say, he's the kind of guy who tripled his chances of "scoring" when he signed up for that class-- and 3 x 0% = 0%.

loi has a clothes fetish

Haha!

When this friend of mine took the women's studies introductory course, she told me that there was one guy there who told the others that he'd taken the course just "to know my enemy". My friend was never sure if he was joking or not.

(x-post)

Also, just because you're feminist guy doesn't mean you have to have a weird relationship to sex. At least in my experience it's far more equal-minded to treat women as people who want to fuck, just like me, than as these fey, fragile creatures damaged beyond repair by horrible men.

I'm a little uneasy about the idea of 'women's studies', for the reason that it could be construed as condescending to the gender that an entire school of study so demarcates and isolates it. I'm even more unsure about the value of, say, all-female colleges. I know that the studies at least are making up for millennia of inequality and subjugation, but I don't know if they're going the right way about it. All-girls' colleges I'm more opposed to; they're actually prolonging inequality.

I think the idea that single-sex colleges promote inequality isn't entirely sound. The difference between what you're describing and say racial segregation in the south is that women do have other choices. Nobody is forcing them to attend an all-girl school.

At least in my university women's studies is mostly known as such because of historical reasons, in practice it's the same as gender studies. That is, men are also included in the analysis, it'd be almost impossible not to. Still, I see no reason why "problem-based" fields of studies like women's studies or queer studies or Third World studies shouldn't exist. If a certain group of people face more injustice or inequality in this world than others, I see no reason why you couldn't focus more on their situation than that of the better-off.

I can't agree that it's condescending. A university course isolating and highlighting the current, lagging-behind human rights of women, historically and currently, isn't condescending to women in the same way that learning about segregation and the slaves and Jackie Robinson isn't condescending to African-Americans. You have to know the past, and the fuck-ups that have been made, to illustrate how things should change in the future. And expecting someone to just pick up this course or that course if they're planning on going into a career where women's rights are relevant, just to get the tidbits of information they need, is kind of insane.

I still don't know what you DO with a Women's Studies major, but whatever, minor detail, right?

that was an xxpost to Eldge. I guess tuomas already said most of what I had to say.

I know guys who take women's & gender studies (what it's called at my school), and they do tend to date certain women who take women's & gender studies, but the reason for both of these things is that these particular men and women have similar values and interests. Not "Oh, he respects me as a person because he takes courses on feminism, that's hot," more "Oh, we are both very liberal nontraditional socially conscious hippie types, that's hot." Both parties tend to fit that stereotype pretty well, but also be sincerely interested in the courses. (not that everyone in these courses fits the stereotype - just the ones who date each other!)

Also, the few people I know who've gone to single-sex colleges have just been academically hardcore enough to not mind the social scene. A friend at Wellesley said a student survey recently concluded that over half the students spend Friday nights studying, and that a lot of women she knows just consider dating something to be done after college and once you've gotten your career or preparations underway, like when they're 26 or 27. I see the schools more as satisfying a market with certain priorities than prolonging inequality, since there are so many colleges in the US anyway - no men are being refused a good education by being unable to go to Wellesley!

xpost is what you do with a women's studies major any less of a problem than what you do with a history major?

I still don't know what you DO with a Women's Studies major, but whatever, minor detail, right?

first, you impart everyone to hear you roar. Then you get a job like everyone else with a useless liberal arts major.

xpost Maria beat me to it.

(also, I just misused the word "impart." sigh.)

I know guys who take women's & gender studies (what it's called at my school), and they do tend to date certain women who take women's & gender studies, but the reason for both of these things is that these particular men and women have similar values and interests. Not "Oh, he respects me as a person because he takes courses on feminism, that's hot," more "Oh, we are both very liberal nontraditional socially conscious hippie types, that's hot." Both parties tend to fit that stereotype pretty well, but also be sincerely interested in the courses.

This is very true. I've dated a couple of women's studies students too, but I certainly didn't pick it as my major to date girls. It's just that school in general is often a place to meet potential dates, and obviously you're more likely to date those people who go to the same courses and share the same ideals. That said, I've dated more Finnish language majors than women's studies majors, I dunno what that tells about me.

(also, I just misused the word "impart." sigh.)

Were you thinking of 'exhort'?

maybe "implore"

wasn't there a snl skit or kids in the hall skit about this?

xpost no you're right, exhort is better

I think you meant "beseech"

beseech and implore are both more like begging, i think

Well, it's not a massive problem I have with WS, just a concerned query.

Womens' colleges I'm more opposed to. There are no men-only colleges in Britain, and only Cambridge University (to my knowledge) clings to its 'historical' all-female houses. The reasons for doing so are almost entirely nostalgic; the girls who aren't pooled there (i.e. forced to go there due to lack of space elsewhere) are often those who've been educated in very prim, uptight all-girl surrounds and aren't prepared to know any other way, or they're lesbians (this isn't gonna be a crude stereotype, it's going to be empirical truth) who don't generally want to mix with men, something which I find irritating and socially unbalancing.

best synonym for beseech is ENTREAT

yeah it was kids in the hall. dave foley can't remember the word "restaurant." he keeps saying "you know, a place where you can buy food and be served and they cook it for you" and kevin mcdonald (playing a bewildered guy, SHOCKAH) keeps saying "RESTAURANT" and foley says "no, no..." until kevin mcdonald stabs him. and then dave foley foregts the word ambulance BADUM PSSSSH

incite?

no, a comedy skit about the one male feminist taking the women's studies class.

Louis, there are certainly some problems with the notion of single-sex education, but the main argument in favor of it is that males and females have different learning styles and they can better meet their academic potential in classrooms that cater to them. There have also been lots of studies in the U.S. that show that boys and girls do equally well in math and science until about the age of 12, when girls suddenly start to lag behind, and the reasons for this are almost entirely social (e.g., boys who blurt out answers and make the girls feel inadequate).

oh, maybe I am thinking about the creepy yoga-guy skit on youtube.

MAybe you are thinking about another Dave Foley character-- the guy who's positive about menstruation?

I agree, crush those archetypes into a fine, granulated powder.

but i am attracted to them, why would i ever do that?

males and females have different learning styles...

the reasons for this are almost entirely social

that feels like a slight contradiction. What is a "learning style"?

also, does the phenomenon of the boys pulling ahead in elementary school still apply in college?

He said specifically in math and science. And while I'm pretty sure women do jsut as well as men in math/science in university, you can't deny that many more men go into those programs in the first place.

Interesting because it brings me back to the crush thing: GIRLS IN SCIENCE. I am not in science, nor will I ever be, but damn, there's something about cuet girls talking about "making a gel" to "culture their bacteria" that makes me weak in the knees

...he said, fully unaware of how sleazy it sounded

Kenan, I'm only half-remembering things I read in college and so I initially phrased my second sentence as an example of differing learning styles and then realized socialization was a whole other matter. I'll take back the "almost entirely" bit, though.

"Learning style" = things like, Do you think better in abstractions or in contexts?

Also, reading vs doing vs hearing about, vs seeing first-hand, etc.

I had a thing for philosophy students at first, which was a MASSIVE ERROR.

Jaymc, the 'single-sex education' argument doesn't cater for all-girls' halls at a university where the lectures, tutors, and general standard of education are shared around equally. They live in a homogenous environment but are expected to flourish in an academically inclusive setting. It doesn't scan.

From my educator knowledge, research shows that both genders benefit from single-sex education most up until the high school level. Single-sex educated generally do better when the enter mixed-gender secondary schools then those who were always in a mixed-gender environment.

something which I find irritating and socially unbalancing.

It sounds more like you're irritated that they don't care to socialize with you. It's their choice, not yours.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/KaylalookIvestopped.jpg

Tuomas! You are my kinda dude. When I go to yr land one of these days there will be beers.

xpost oh marc loi i loive u

It sounds more like you're irritated that they don't care to socialize with you. It's their choice, not yours.

This is absolutely not the reason for my irritation. I've been careful to try and not give that impression. My concern is far more of a general one; to cut out an entire gender from your social life strikes me as being at best weird and at worst damaging to one's social outlook.

Single-gender education up to a point is fine (it's what I had for a good long while), but in a mixed university environment, where students are expected to behave like adults, it's an anachronism.

Louis,

Not only women take Women's Studies courses.

Also, there are a number of courses in your own university RIGHT NOW that comprise a discipline known as Men's Studies. Though their number is in decline, these courses have included: History. Sociology. Psychology. Literature. Philosophy.

Also, reading vs doing vs hearing about, vs seeing first-hand, etc.

Are any of those things verifiably gender-related? I'm not trying to play devil's advocate, I'm really asking.

I feel like the social factor would be more relevant to whole populations of kids. That "both genders benefit from single-sex education most up until the high school level" sounds plausible to me.

My concern is far more of a general one; to cut out an entire gender from your social life strikes me as being at best weird and at worst damaging to one's social outlook.

I will not see male doctors, of any stripe. Is this damaging to my social outlook?

Also, there are a number of courses in your own university RIGHT NOW that comprise a discipline known as Men's Studies. Though their number is in decline, these courses have included: History. Sociology. Psychology. Literature. Philosophy.

I was gonna say something like this but bit my tongue.

I was gonna make a "noice vageen" joke, but I've made enough regrettable posts on this thread for today.

xpost, that is

Also, just because you're feminist guy doesn't mean you have to have a weird relationship to sex. At least in my experience it's far more equal-minded to treat women as people who want to fuck, just like me, than as these fey, fragile creatures damaged beyond repair by horrible men.

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 7:31 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

whatever, binary-boy, the other week you were saying the history of male oppression of women made it hard for you in the sack.

I will not see male doctors, of any stripe. Is this damaging to my social outlook?

No, but I don't think medical visits comprise your entire meaningful social interaction.

...and neither does a person's educational environment.

I think I went to a bizarro high school because the girls always were the top in every subject and made up like 70% of the top ten percent of the graduating class.

xxpost

I will not see male doctors, of any stripe. Is this damaging to my social outlook?

Doctors are not social acquaintances. I much prefer male doctors, as well.

Also, I do see Louis's point. A single-sex college is not exactly home schooling, but it does seem a bit sheltered for that age group. But that might just be me imposing my own college experiences on top of an experience I never had.

Also, there are a number of courses in your own university RIGHT NOW that comprise a discipline known as Men's Studies. Though their number is in decline, these courses have included: History. Sociology. Psychology. Literature. Philosophy.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 8:47 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you fucking idiot.

...and neither does a person's educational environment.

-- La Lechera, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 3:55 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

For most people I know who went through post-secondary education, this is almost entirely false.

Louis,

Not only women take Women's Studies courses.

Also, there are a number of courses in your own university RIGHT NOW that comprise a discipline known as Men's Studies. Though their number is in decline, these courses have included: History. Sociology. Psychology. Literature. Philosophy.

I've already said that my concern about 'Women's Studies' was only a passing one. In an ideal world, the arts degrees you mention would incorporate women's achievements on an equal footing to men's. I like to think mine does (or at least has the potential to).

...and neither does a person's educational environment.

If you're in an isolated boarding-house with 300 other girls, it does. At least, it's gonna have some effect on the balanced interaction you ought to at least be exposed to.

lol @ sausage party feminism discussion

...and neither does a person's educational environment.

I dunno, I had to think on this for a minute. Every truly long-term valuable friend I've ever made, I met in school or college.

Ok, well maybe you didn't know anyone who went to a commuter school. Or worked full time and went to school at night as an adult. Or someone who went to school in a city where they could meet people who didn't go to their school?!

There are many possibilities.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/511VWDAGEZL._AA240_.jpg

I'm just saying that not everyone went to LOL COLLEGE.

my crush archetype = dumb, pretty boys

Also, there are a number of courses in your own university RIGHT NOW that comprise a discipline known as Men's Studies. Though their number is in decline, these courses have included: History. Sociology. Psychology. Literature. Philosophy.

I don't think I quite agree, given the number of classes I had in the Classics department (your most obvious dead white male discipline) that have focused pretty heavily on gender issues in Greek society & the works we read. Not even classes like "Women in Ancient Greece," though those do exist - ones like "Greek Drama" or "Intermediate Greek." Also, I majored in anthropology & sociology, and gender issues and bias were a big concern in theory and method and material and everything! I think a lot of approaches to all humanities disciplines have changed such that you can have a class focused solely on works by men be related to women's studies by the professor's interests and philosophy. (Or maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "Men's Studies"?)

xpost of course.

I'm pretty sure I said "most," Lech.

you fucking idiot.

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 7:57 PM

: )

In an ideal world, the arts degrees you mention would incorporate women's achievements on an equal footing to men's.

it's not really that. ur doing eng literature. women's direct contribution to say, the elizabethan theatre, is quite small. but that doesn't exclude feminist readings &c &c. same goes for history, but studying 'women's history' as distinct from... history -- that's kind of a cult studs thing.

Ok, well maybe you didn't know anyone who went to a commuter school. Or worked full time and went to school at night as an adult. Or someone who went to school in a city where they could meet people who didn't go to their school?!

Well, if I'm guilty of anything, it's that I'm attacking a very specialised and uncommon form of all-female education. In fact, I'm only really attacking Newnham and New Hall colleges, which between them have about 550 students at any given point. So, yeah, maybe all-female boarding establishments work elsewhere. What I myself have seen, however, ain't great.

Maria,

You got me. I didn't emphasize enough that "Men's Studies" is in decline and has been since the early 70s.

whatever, binary-boy, the other week you were saying the history of male oppression of women made it hard for you in the sack.

I didn't say that, I said that it made me care more about making sure that the other person is enjoying the sex too. Reciprocal pleasure is usually a good basis for fucking.

Maria your school sounds decent. A female friend of mine tried to finish a bachelor's in philosophy and was... well, let's say "strongly discouraged" to continue by TAs/profs/etc

it's not really that. ur doing eng literature. women's direct contribution to say, the elizabethan theatre, is quite small. but that doesn't exclude feminist readings &c &c.

This is true. It is still possible to study women through the work of a man. And vice versa.

hey guys can this thread go back to being fun now

There are many possibilities... I'm just saying that not everyone went to LOL COLLEGE.

Yes, of course. Maybe the trouble is that going to college full-time, right after high school as I did, is in itself an isolating experience, same-sex school or not. It's hard for me to image how else I would have met people at that age. I hardly left campus!

I would LOVE and SO CRUSH upon a cute girl who energetically engaged me in a discussion on gender morals. :D

I think it'd be inaccurate to say that people at single-sex colleges don't ever hang out or have social interactions with people of the opposite sex. Many same-sex colleges have other colleges nearby or at least in some kind of vicinity where it makes it possible to date. It's not always the case of course, but the idea that women at single-sex colleges are all couped up in some dorm way out in the country is usually false.

I know it's different from a post-secondary single-sex educational experience, but I went to an all-guys high school and had plenty of interaction with girls all the time on weekends/after classes, etc.

For most people I know who went through post-secondary education, this is almost entirely false.

The majority of my social outlook, and friendships, have been gained through work, not school.

I would like to hear from anyone who actually went to a single-sex school on this.

And so we have. :)

Most of my crushes are from one school or another. So if I went to a boys-only school I'd have had significantly less crushes. And I wouldn't have known about my archetype. Who is a brunette. CRUSHES!

In fact, going to a single-sex high school made it a lot easier to separate my academic life from my social life, and I was thus able to get a lot more out of my classes. My social life was not threatened in any way by going to school with the same sex. But like I said, this might be different from the single-sex college experience.

HOOS ARCHETYPE #3

girl with huge headphones/rap-related clothing

i saw a girl at a bus stop the other day wearing a wu-tang shirt that she'd cut up & resewn baby-doll style and i died

I think it'd be inaccurate to say that people at single-sex colleges don't ever hang out or have social interactions with people of the opposite sex. Many same-sex colleges have other colleges nearby or at least in some kind of vicinity where it makes it possible to date. It's not always the case of course, but the idea that women at single-sex colleges are all couped up in some dorm way out in the country is usually false.

I know it's different from a post-secondary single-sex educational experience, but I went to an all-guys high school and had plenty of interaction with girls all the time on weekends/after classes, etc.

Good post. The students I know at Newnham do of course mix with people from other colleges, and many do date boys and whatnot; my issue is that it's frequently more convenient for girls in their situation to cast friendship bonds with those in the same setting, and spend at least the MAJORITY of their time in a single-sex environment. I'm not saying it's ALL bad news, just that on average it'll do their social lives harm.

I went to an all-guys high school too, which was COMPLICATED by the fact that in the last two years, roughly 60 girls would join the 120 boys. This meant that I was lazy and didn't look for girls outside of school to hang out with, which was of course a HORRIBLE TRAP, because the proportion of boys to girls was entirely unconducive to a relaxed mixed-gender setting (the school yard was more like a strutting-ground), not to mention that most of the girls were snooty bitches with mansions in Kensington or Hampstead and trust-fund parents *rants for a while*.

HOOS ARCHETYPE #4

all redheads. everywhere. ever.

(to be fair most of the boys were their equivalent, giving me even less of a look-in, curses)

no no no, don't backtrack here, tell me more about how my girlfriend who attends a women's college is a prim, uptight lesbian who can't deal with men

(jokes)

ooh, my archetype #2: guys who like to cook. not because i don't like to, but because i really do, and it's a fun thing to share.

HOOS ARCHETYPE #3

girl with huge headphones/rap-related clothing

http://alisonctuck.typepad.com/womanandchildfirst/images/lady_sovereign.jpg

HOOS ARCHETYPE #5

hippie girls in sundresses. with freckles. who love joni mitchell.

I could never have a relationship with one of these girls, but I want to hug them forever.

xpost lolol

My archetypes, let me show you them.

Yeah, Maria, I love collaborating on a meal with a lady, too.

Curtis, :P I know that there are some who can still thrive in such an environment (not so coincidentally, they're normally the ones in steady relationships); I'm opposed to it on the not unreasonable principle that it cuts out massive social options and potential interactions for these people.

xpost I had a relationship with one of them. It went well.

(but most of all because it's a PATRONISING ANACHRONISM)

OK, you can have your thread back now. :)

i doubt it

HOOS ARCHETYPE # 6

the punk rock girl (possibly a variant of hoos archetype #1?)

PATRONISING ANACHRONISM

It's patronizing to say that to a group of people who might want and enjoy that option for themselves.

People who choose women's colleges do it knowingly, though. If they decide they don't want or can do without the social options and potential interactions, why not?

(Sidenote: I went on a month-long study abroad program with 5 girls and 2 guys from my school and 14 girls from 2 women's colleges - many of the women's college girls were SO boy crazy, it was really weird! Maybe not having ready social options made them better at finding & seizing opportunity or something.) (big xpost, again)

ooh, my archetype #2: guys who like to cook. not because i don't like to, but because i really do, and it's a fun thing to share.

-- Maria, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 3:19 PM (Wednesday, September 26, 2007 3:19 PM) Bookmark Link

otm. love love love doing this.

People who choose women's colleges do it knowingly, though.

Not all of them. Many people get 'pooled' to Newnham/New Hall, and many choose the colleges because they're easier to get into, finding afterwards that the negatives outweigh the positives. Sure, it's an option, but I think it's a cop-out, and the FACT that it exists is in my view patronising to women. If I chose to go to an all-male college, it'd be seen (rightly, given my long history of single-sex education) as a 'safe' option. I don't HAVE that option, though. To get the 'best' education, I had to live with members of both sexes. It should be the same for girls.

Again, my guns are aimed at a very small target, and I have little idea about the whole women's college system in the States. I can't imagine it being better than mixed education, though.

Ok, well maybe you didn't know anyone who went to a commuter school. Or worked full time and went to school at night as an adult. Or someone who went to school in a city where they could meet people who didn't go to their school?!

There are many possibilities.

-- La Lechera, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 3:01 PM (Wednesday, September 26, 2007 3:01 PM) Bookmark Link

also otm. i haven't talked to anyone i met in college since i dropped out (except for the occasional random running into someone at a bar at the beach for a couple summers).

my archetype: no fatteys

I could never have a relationship with one of these girls, but I want to hug them forever.

This was a good Law & Order: SVU episode.

i just did a quick recall of the women i've dated over the last decade and i've come to the conclusion that i don't have a preferred body type. or if i do i'm unaware of it and have not demonstrated one.

Oh yeah, that reminds me of one more archetype: girls with tummies. I rarely finds skinny girls hot. (Which of course doesn't mean I couldn't have a crush on them for other reasons.)

date archetypes and crush archetypes are so different, though... i mean, none of the girls i've dated are really similar in that sense either, but that's because you DATE a whole person, and it's all about chemistry and all sorts of squishy stuff like that. crushing is just idealism; some people are easier to idealize than others. mine is brunette cuet math nerds. never dated one.

I dunno... I don't think I have an archetype of either kind. Or I don't think it's a fun activity to try to think of any. I've had crushes on all shapes and sizes and all dispositions (short, perhaps, of true sociopath), and I have dated same. There's probably a rhyme and reason to it, and I'm sure friends who hung around me during certain periods saw patterns, but looking back, I don't. Call it lack or self-awareness, or maybe blissful ignorance.

And if there are patterns, I'm almost 100% certain that they say FAR more about me than they do the women.

That's the point.

LouJag is talking about a pretty specific oxbridge thing (though no longer oxford, who have gone over to letting boys in).

i think he is being a bit silly though because 1) cambridge was ALL MALE except for two colleges which were in outlying suburbs (though tbh: HELLS YES i would live in all this newnham) and remained so for a VERY LONG TIME. i can actually remember when one of them let women in in the '80s. they flew the flag half-mast. 2) hello you all cambridge students all went to single-sex schools anyway, what's the problem?

anyway i have an old-fashioned belief in collegiate autonomy: if they want to remain all-female, why not? you're not the boss of them.

1) cambridge was ALL MALE except for two colleges which were in outlying suburbs (though tbh: HELLS YES i would live in all this newnham) and remained so for a VERY LONG TIME. i can actually remember when one of them let women in in the '80s. they flew the flag half-mast.

Yes, and? It is an overwhelmingly good thing that times have changed and such sexist, outdated attitudes have been trounced. Although that said, Magdalene College, the last to accept girls, in 1990(!), still carry a coffin around on the date the switch was made. Wankers.

2) hello you all cambridge students all went to single-sex schools anyway, what's the problem?

My not-quite-single-sex schooling (see above) prepared me spectacularly badly for mixed-gender interaction. My first year at uni was for the most part a crash-course in Talking To Women Like An Adult. I think, beyond 18, the process should be fully shared.

I used to get into arguments about self-segregating and whatnot when I came back from Europe but all the ladies I know who chose to go to Mills, turned out to be pretty much okay people, with no more exceptions than those who didn't go.

HOOS ARCHETYPE #WHATEV

geek girl blogging on her mac

I too studied women in college.

</dad>

still funny!

My last two serious girlfriends have been widows whose husbands both died of drug overdoses. I don't know what this means, probably nothing.

I'm with the guy above-I don't have any specific type. If something clicks, I'll go with it.

http://www.abcanimaltraining.com/images/clicker.jpg

1) cambridge was ALL MALE except for two colleges which were in outlying suburbs (though tbh: HELLS YES i would live in all this newnham) and remained so for a VERY LONG TIME. i can actually remember when one of them let women in in the '80s. they flew the flag half-mast.

"Yes, and?"

yes and you are still trying to tell the women's colleges how they should act, and as a male undergrad i think you need at least some self-consciousness about the history of the place. it might be that the continued existence of newnham and girton embarrasses liberal cambridge in some way? i don't see the positive problem with all-women colleges within a collegiate system. obviously if an entire university excluded women that'd be something else.

Enrique,

I mean this as an honest-to-god curious inquiry, no ill intent: why so much hate for cultural studies types?

girls like guys that like them so much that they cant hold back their feelings and make crazy fast moves on them. They also want a grown dog and not a puppy who is immature and wimpy.

is that correct?

yes, all women know exactly what they want and all women want the exact same thing.

xpost Exterminate all rational thought, bro.

also, kevin MADLY otm.

I want a beer.

I want a beer.

then go to beerland tonight! my best friends, chicago's #1 husband and wife rock 'n' roll tornado are playing with alex cuervo's hex dispensers. i'm sure sherry will be there, if so tell her i said hello.

also, i want beer too. and cigarettes. i can get one but not both but if i got one all i'd want is the other so i bought neither.

Every guy I've ever dated has wanted to be a writer. They've also all been kind, funny, and laid back. All of my crushes have been tall and slightly cocky.

My only real archetypal item, much as I hate to admit it: younger guys.

But also guys who are passionate, starry-eyed, crazy about music, daydreamy and a little on the insular, private side. Cheekbones and HUGE DOE EYES = a big ++.

This describes about 5 of my current male friends, which is doing my head in.

gallic, fine-boned hands and knees, boyish, pale, dark eyes and hair, long eyelashes, long limbs, the elegance of an adolescent

sassy

sassy is yr crush archetype rw?

the elegance of an adolescent

"elegance"!?

generally speaking. also: down with camping but not necessarily "into" it.

narcissist.

oh shiiiiiiiit

i only want to date the sassiest girl in america

this thread isn't as good as just talking about crushes.

Well, I was referencing actual people when I described mine!

so was i!

i thought max meant he crushed on narcissists

sorry.

if we go by astrological signs my crush type is Aquarius/Pisces cusp and Scorpio/Sagittarius cusp (according to some website).

also, in chinese astrology my crush type is year of the goat or sheep or rabbit or (according to websites)

I'm a damn gemini/cancer cusp born on the year of the pig.

I never actually bothered to look up those cusps to see what 'type' of person they are.

let me know if you are my soulmate women

I'm such a Piscean one of my hippy mates makes fun of me for it constantly.

some of the things you mentioned seem like me

'passionate, starry-eyed, crazy about music, daydreamy and a little on the insular, private side. Cheekbones and HUGE DOE EYES = a big ++.'

everything but the cheekbones. I personally don't find skeletons attractive.

do you have curly blond hair? I find that hot

Oh yeah, I can totally tell what isn't my archetype: someone who believes in astrology and actually thinks that it's a good way of determining whether you fit together romantically. I once dated a girl who at one point said we don't really fit together, because we're both Geminis. What the hell do you say to that?

I'm such a Piscean one of my hippy mates makes fun of me for it constantly.

Move out. Or kill her. What a load of shit.

< /scorpio >

I say you should be proud that you are a tall male with brown hair.

glasses too I bet

http://www.fatheralexander.org/graphics/jesus_christ.jpg

If she is, as of now,

a) still awake in the EST and
b) down with Hawkwind and Pringles

then she is for me.

heh... I just realized I read "mates" as "roommates." Not the same. See, I'm not used to seeing the word "mate" outside of "room"... oh, skip it.

;) xpost

Yeah K I'm talking about a male friend! Who I dont live with! And who I adore to bits! He's a complete hippy but I love him for it.

And SirLorax no, I dont have curly blonde hair, I have... oh for gods sake, anyone who doesnt know what I look like by now hasnt been paying attention! :D

Maybe he just wants you to describe yourself to make him excited, like those "what are you wearing" dudes? :)

HOOS ARCHETYPE #OMEGA

Freckled girl w/pink hair & glasses wearing a Devin the Dude tour shirt, discussing Naomi Klein with her roomate, and blogging.

I saw her for reals today!

i remember at one pt being excited about blogging, but dont think i ever went thru a 'that girl is blogging totes cuet!' phase myself

Bad for Laurel archetype #2: long-limbed, spare men of whom there seems to be just enough to cover them in angles of flesh. Pure and stern as angels, cerebral to a fault, and ultimately too cold and untouchable for silly me.

The mischievous, cocky ones get me in trouble but at least I can still find myself when I remember to look. The avenging angels, though...there's not so much left of me when the spell wears off.

Ooh I know the type. Marble-statue perfect distant awesome aargh.

Breathing without the aid of a machine.

I'm not picky...

http://www.filmreference.com/images/sjff_03_img1091.jpg

from reading this thread it would seem i would be a crush archetype for bryan, kingfish and electric sound.

my crush archetype: medium height (5'8" - 5'11"), stocky (not thin), glasses, dark hair, dark eyes, clever, most of the time not white

my crush archetype: medium height (5'8" - 5'11"), stocky (not thin), glasses, dark hair, dark eyes, clever, most of the time not white

-- homosexual II, Friday, March 28, 2008 1:32 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this is mine too but girls not dudes

mine is still valid

These are oddly like horoscopes: you can read a bunch of totally different ones and still go "oh, that kind of describes someone like me!"

Girls who dance like they mean it.

once in a while i like blondes (like bleach blondes.. think billy zabka from the karate kid!). But its pretty rare.

COBRA KAI

I think I don't like blondes because of zabka and this born again christian dude from my high school who loved moby and looked almost exactly like zabka.

smarter than me, but not a bitch about it. big firm asses, but more-or-less petite elsewhere. no crybabies.

super intelligent possible minor brain damage

but can talk to people fine, does things, buys drinks, strong sense of metaphor

buying drinks = ranked #1 in importance

There's this girl and she isn't totally okay with my buying her drinks so instead I'm all "let me put it on my tab, for convenience sake, then you pay me back later". SNEAKY.j

Usually she does buy food later though.

Burn??

i'm trying to play against type :/

How's that working out?

i'm not sure yet

buying drinks = ranked #1 in importance

-- bell_labs

who does this?

i need to learn not to do that just to be nice

i still have my archetypes, but they're fading

who does what? buy drinks? the answer is: me

ok but no one does that as an opening or even anything close to it though right

MODS

-- ferg (Ferg), Thursday, February 12, 2004 5:51 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

i just meant that they are able to buy drinks. not for me, just in general.

but can talk to people fine, does things, buys drinks, strong sense of metaphor

-- rrrobyn, Friday, March 28, 2008 9:45 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

yknow. not emotionally incapable of living a normal life.

does things!

is not mean to me

i like it when boys buy drinks for you but then i pretend not to and feel bad and pay for the next one even though i could use a free drink

i think bell labs is zinging me

we could all use a free drink

bell labs is buying

hah

against type - a gay thing?

no but that kind of puts it in perspective

type: small, energetic, tomboyish a bit but not too much, intelligent, smart assed/cheeky, talks as much as me.

tho have liked people who are not like this before, even though that can feel oddly like rebelling against yourself!

Who is this? Are people even going to "get" the Gardaí

But yeah, lol

http://kielyscomments.tripod.com/lis-ban-garda-med.jpg

these two make me want to issue an illegal summons

they always refer to people as "the lads"

as in "the lads were all hammered and we couldn't find Fitzy"

or "I'm going with the lads because I don't want to have to drive all the way back"

???

that's what they say

they also make things funnier with judicious use of the word "sure"

??? have ye had a drug?

a wee one

type: small, energetic, tomboyish a bit but not too much, intelligent, smart assed/cheeky, talks as much as me.

this sounds right. + likes camping

+doesn't like me, that seems a big turn on always

haha, that is so the opposite of my crush archetype, though intelligence is of course desirable. We should do an anti-crush archetype thread

xp

tall, lethargic, feminine but not too much, stupid, polite, does not talk as much as you?

hey now we're talking

I think, dryly funny, kindof mean, argumentative and abrasive but not loud or pushy.

Actually Dave Hickey's description of his mother in Air Guitar is pretty spot on perfect for me, I remember

And my mom was not cool at all. She was serious, high-strung, and fiercely ironic, like Joan Crawford... always bustling around: painting bad paintings in the back bedroom and reading books while she cooked dinner (setting the occasional paperback aflame), always starting up little businesses, and telling me stuff about Maynard Keynes or Karl Marx when she gave me my allowance.

that sounds kind of cool to me

what ilxor was in love with nu-mandy moore a few years back? i have ilx-e-tition...

girls 18-32

-- max, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 11:37 AM (11 months ago) Bookmark Link

this remains true

Crush archetype: my husband.

Hahahaha I am totally disgusting.

that sounds kind of cool to me

Ha, it sounds like the inspiration for a roman a clef is what it sounds like.

Lately my archetype seems to be well-spirited nerdish girls with fancy round asses who laugh at the dopey shit I say and also they live almost 2 hours away in Minneapolis so I can't date them.

hey fuck off, that one's mine

well i actually live there, so

"fancy"?

Should I have used "deluxe"...?

Fancy is great!

tremendous sense of value

I think I had a crush on Holly Near when I was a kid

it's always one of the two:

http://www.escapeest.com/images/austinist/Cry-Baby.jpg

http://www.waltavista.de/p/steve_mcqueen_bullit.jpg

also: not too tall; energetic, in sync with his feminine side; intelligent, obedient, talks more than me

What's that first picture?

I usually go for smart, sweet academic type girls ... but uhhh, they're unfortunately few and far between.

or at least they're hard to meet out here in shit town

The first pic that Warmsherry posted? It's Johnny Depp from Cry Baby!

I feel like I should be saying women at this p0oint but i'm still not...hooray perpetual adolescence:

girls who make frequent eye contact, laugh without hesitation, and do a lot of friendly shoving
girls who accessorize/layer well for cold weather on their bicycle
girls who do that dance where they point one finger into the sky

mAybe not 'archetypes" exactly but you get it

even the smartest, sweetest academic type girls can appear bit dull and sour in the wrong company, burt_stanton.

I don't know enough girls to have a crush archetype but I can imagine quite a few I would like
-a girl named elise that is sweet, outgoing, and has curly hair, a sexual being, etc..
-nerdy girl that laughs funny and is really cute but secretly half-way sinister
-a good-looking "book smart" girl with a tough shell and sweet mushy stuff inside
-a girl that makes sexual advantages on me and is not obese or really ugly
-an foreign girl with dark hair and is petite and beautiful

-a girl that makes sexual advantages on me and is not obese or really ugly

aim for the stars, captain lorax

lol

-an foreign girl with dark hair and is petite and beautiful

AZN BEAUTEE

I usually go for smart, sweet academic type girls ... but uhhh, they're unfortunately few and far between.

― burt_stanton, Tuesday, November 25, 2008 9:06 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or at least they're hard to meet out here in shit town

― burt_stanton, Tuesday, November 25, 2008 9:08 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah really hard to find shy nerdy girls in brooklyn *rolls eyes*

recent/common crushes have included:
-metal dudes with clean and well-combed long hair (i kind of hate myself for this)
-hippies with long hair - cleanliness not required, within reason - and friendly, open personalities (no luck here though, these guys like hippie girls with long hair and friendly, open personalities, and i am a nerdy girl with short hair whose shyness hides sarcasm and profanity)
-hardcore catholics who like to argue about medieval theology (there was a year and a half in which i ONLY was interested in these guys, which was frustrating because i'm not catholic and most of them are going into the priesthood. seriously.)

-an foreign girl with dark hair and is petite and beautiful (I want to add that skinny can take place of petite)

thank u for clarifying

right now in australia there is a horde of skinny brunette girls screaming with joy outside my window.

most australians aren't really exotic enough for me

or willing to make sexual advantages on you

what about kooky kiki? that crazee blonde with the big doughy eyes?

archetype #6

yeah, you know what i'm talking about
http://weblogs.amny.com/entertainment/urbanite/blog/sammydavisjr.jpg

-hardcore catholics who like to argue about medieval theology (there was a year and a half in which i ONLY was interested in these guys, which was frustrating because i'm not catholic and most of them are going into the priesthood. seriously.)

Have I got some people to hook you up with!

I feel like I should be saying women at this p0oint but i'm still not...hooray perpetual adolescence:

girls who make frequent eye contact, laugh without hesitation, and do a lot of friendly shoving
girls who accessorize/layer well for cold weather on their bicycle
girls who do that dance where they point one finger into the sky

mAybe not 'archetypes" exactly but you get it

― venom boners are totally canon (nickalicious), Tuesday, November 25, 2008 8:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

otm

did i already say small town stoners?

small town stoners

awwwww

they're just so damn nice and laid back and up for anything

Recently, girls from Oz/NZ/SA for some reason. Maybe I just want to assert my claim over our former colonies.

Ooer, matron.

Carry on up the Commonwealth.

Have I got some people to hook you up with!

― Casuistry, Wednesday, November 26, 2008 10:19 PM (1 week ago)

Do it! Do it!

I actually found out that one of these crushes - my longest one, actually, lasted all four years of college - is now single (I'm told his girlfriend of three years recently dumped him). He's now in my city, in theology grad school. I finally got over the crush last year, but I think I should get back in touch anyway.

I discovered earlier this year that my single biggest high school crush has been living here in Portland for the last 9 years. I tracked her down and now we are really good friends after a 20 year gap.

i wish i wasn't so picky about who i date.

Me too. I wish ian were less picky.

hey libcrypt, why have you been so aggressive and nasty to me lately?
Seriously. What's your problem?

Can't you take a wee bit of good-natured teasing, mr. sensitive?

There doesn't seem to be anything good natured about it. You seem to have something negative and mean to say to me on a lot of threads lately, and I wonder if it's something personal or if you just get your kicks being a douchebag on the internet.

Oh calm down.

-Freaky shy guys that get totally weirded out by any attention that I give them (especially with me being obese and ugly and all)
-utter nutjob attention seeking freaks who suddenly decide they don't want *that* much attention when I give them some

I sense a recurring theme.

michelle monaghan

lol she thought my loretta lynn t-shirt was cool and she will always have a place in my heart.

an foreign girl

Werner Herzog - When I get home from work, Werner is doing the vacuuming. He says, "The carpet is an endless expanse of war and suffering." If I'm unhappy, he brings me a kitten and a toasted English muffin with too much butter. While I eat the muffin, he says, "That small cat would kill you if it could. In its cold eyes there is no intelligence, only murder."

Lars von Trier - While Werner fixes sausages, Lars and I sit out on the back porch drinking sophisticated Danish beer (the kind he likes). He tells me that he empathizes with Hitler, and I smile at him because I know he's only trying to push my buttons. I understand him really, really well. We both pretend not to hear Werner when he calls us in for dinner.

George Clooney - Sometimes I go over to George and Amal's ranch on the weekend. George says, "Gee, I just got some new ponies. They're really swell. Would you like to go for a ride?" I say, "Yes, George. I'd love to go for a ride with you on your new ponies. I can already tell they're a lot better than the old ones." We ride the chaparral together, and he looks so perfect up there in his not-really-all-that-expensive jeans. Amal has to stay behind, but she's cool about it and makes us finger sandwiches for later.

point is someone makes me food