Funniest words and expressions that are, presumably, only funny to you

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My personal favorite has always been
"Oh my God, he's got a gun!"

I also love
"...went stark raving mad and started busting up the place"

and
the word "fiasco"

I'm teary eyed as I type this...

― roger adultery, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

the word "burgundy" (pronounced slightly differently to normal)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

pump

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

hippie

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"bean" and "moist"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"well it is" in a forrest gump type accent

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:54 (twenty-one years ago)

cornbread

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i am the monkey, i can go anywhere

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Mariner honey!"

"I'll be right Ben"

"Hey ___, do you want me to fuck your wife?"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

fucking jeans

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'll be right Ben"

Beautiful. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

jake plumber

― wrong_threadbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

koala tacos

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

PS for maximum funny, after saying "Do you want me to fuck your wife?" you have to start laughing like the Count and yelling "1! 2! 3! Ha ha ha!"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:00 (twenty-one years ago)

bluh bluh bluh!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:01 (twenty-one years ago)

tits! arsehole! motherfucker! *belch* *fart noise* muff!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Manon Lescaut

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:04 (twenty-one years ago)

bazarov

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

OK Tad get out of my mind!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Madame Odintsov!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

gavareet po russki!

― tAtUbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Bazarov really is one of the funniest things anyone can say to me, it is up there with "Lord Byron" for consistent I-will-never-sicken-of-this funny.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Tracing Byron's Influence on the Creation and Development of the Nihilist Bazarov in Ivan Turgenev's Fathers and Sons

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, that's tantamount to joke warfare!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Did someone say Bazarov?"

http://www.richmond.edu/~dhocutt/bazarov/images/turgenev.gif

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't understand, I'm liable to DIE LAUGHING and if you throw in THE ILLUMINATI then it will be settled, caskets for me by dawn.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

kraftwerkout!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

- Anche la natura è un'inezia? - chiese Arkadij guardando pensieroso i campi variopinti dolcemente e pittorescamente, illuminati dal sole già basso.
- Anche la natura è una sciocchezza nel senso in cui tu l'intendi ora. La natura non è un tempio, ma un'officina e l'uomo è un operaio. [...]
Passarono presso a poco due settimane. La vita a Màrijno seguitava il suo corso tranquillo: Arkadij faceva il sibarita. Bazarov lavorava.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

All part of the deathless PRESENTAZIONE DI BAZAROV

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:19 (twenty-one years ago)

tears, my god, tears down my face jesus christ...

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

“I don't understand Turgenev. That Bazarov of his is a fictitious figure, it does not exist anywhere. The fellows themselves were the first to disown him as unlike anyone. That Bazarov is a sort of indistinct mixture of Nozdryov and Byron, c'est le mot. Look at them attentively: they caper about and squeal with joy like puppies in the sun. They are happy, they are victorious! What is there of Byron in them!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE NED TRIES TO KILL ME.

please, please just don't add Plaid to the mix.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i WAS looking for a "screaming lord byron" photo on the web, but all i could find is this ... maybe someone thinks it's funny?

http://www.teenagewildlife.com/Interact/contests/2000/halloween/halloziggy.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

When you find yourself at the altar saying, "with this Stone of Jordan I thee wed," you have definitely played too much (beware also if your bride is named Charsi).
Bazarov

U noe u plaid 2 much DII when u stand naked in da middle of january, sayin u got resist cold aura on
[]DOINT_Z3R0

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

WOW.

to both posts.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

That Bazarov bastard gets around.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

In 1795-96 Byron contracted scarlet fever and was sent to the Highlands (to the valley of the Dee river about forty miles north of Aberdeen) to convalesce. Byron, dressed in the Gordon tartan, spent many happy days roaming the countryside ("My cap was the bonnet, my cloak was the plaid;")

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"Choo Choo Rockets"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(I'm trying to ignore these assassination attempts)

SANP!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:32 (twenty-one years ago)

chugga chugga choo choo -- rockets and accessories by Estes

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/images/weitekbright.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:39 (twenty-one years ago)

miles and miles of little brown piles.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:40 (twenty-one years ago)

In write-ups, bus crashes are always referred in one way. Bus PLUNGES into ravine, river, or whatever the local bottom land may be.

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"so like, what's the Rob Lowe?" as rhyming slang for "what's the problemo?"

― too much for my mirror (too much for my mirror), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"the Chinese train story"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm really [x] but I'm really [y]."

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh, Please!" .. (in a German accent)

when written:
"Jesus H. Christ (facsimile)"

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"fire in the disco!" when used apropos of NOTHING

"motherfucker" (say it w/bad French accent)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

like from the first Twilight Singers album?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Helltime Producto to thread immediately

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

The Ormskirk Tradition of mirth revolves mostly around quotes from adverts that you've nearly, very nearly forgotten. At their best they take a few seconds to get where they're from.

To whit:- "Well I've certainly been earmarked for the board"

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Replying to compliments on my cooking with "well fuck you too then!".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

intentional typo "teh". it's even worked it's way into my actual speaking dialogues. too much teh funny!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"run amok," "revolutionary outrage," and "carried off" as a euphemism for death.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

'cronies'

― kephm, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Not sure why, but once I imagined my h.s. history teacher leering John Stamos' line "I looove Neet girls," from the commercial in the early 1980's. I was asked to leave the room to regain my composure. It's still funny even now.

Also, a line from the night before I got married, said by my wife: "Don't get snots on the rab."

And, somehow, "Dr. Samuel Beckett is a top scientist."

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Intercourse... I'm going to rip your clothes off and have wild intercourse with you.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

thinktank
chuppa chupps

― kephm, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"poopy-doo-ding-dong"

said in place of "cat turd"

e.g. Mr. Fuzzles! You have some poopy-doo-ding-dong on your behind!

― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

'i monkeyed up the building' (brass eye)
'this is the ja danketies' (ditto)
'Hired Goons'
Tillekeratne Dilshan ( Sri Lanka ) Full Name: Tillekeratne
Mudiyansilage Dilshan. Batting Style: Right Hand Batsman. ...

― pete s, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

SPICES!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"ja rule baby" I just can't hear this without cracking up. I dunno why.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Rocktober

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

shut eye with a bang

― saza bob, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

also, country vegetable.

― saza bob, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

big tate (as in large amount)

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

ass clown.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"translate from the physical" as a euphemism for death. it's what the cult of eckenckar(sp?) calls it.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

One night I got drunk and went to Denny's. The waiter probably meant to say "here are the specials" (which would have been funny too because in that state I would've jumped up and pogoed like I was at a ska show), and instead he said "our special meals tonight are..." I started laughing far too loudly, and I couldn't do anything but bury my head on the table and pound my fist, saying "meal! meal!" over and over again. Ever since then I can't hear that word without laughing.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

My personal favorite has always been
"Oh my God, he's got a gun!">>>>

Roger would make a bad secret service agent

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

'Nice bat-turn, Robin'

'Good eye, Steve Austin'

'MUPPET FUCKER!'

'QUAKER!'

'So there I was, standing on a bridge, naked as the day I was born, with a chicken in one hand and a bottle of boone's farm in the other, wondering what in fact, Jesus WOULD do...'

One of my friends answers the phone with 'who dis?' and it fucking lays me out, every time.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Batman

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

canoodling

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

English Subtitles In Hong Kong Films:

"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way." -- Holy Weapon

"Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep." -- Pedicab Driver

"I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!" -- Pom Pom and Hot Hot

"You are too useless. And now I must beat you."

And other such hilarities at http://www.rinkworks.com/said/language.shtml

I swear, I cry laughing every time I read this page even though Ive already read it all before.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 4 March 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Vaccinating!!" instead of "fascinating!!" I imagine I said this once in a medical context but really, it's too good not to use all the time. Presumably.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The last one of the subtitles sounds like something Ned would say if he was angry.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, this is true.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants." -- The Seventh Curse
"Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?" -- Armour of God
"Quiet or I'll blow your throat up." -- On the Run
"You daring lousy guy." -- Satyr Monks
"Beat him out of recognizable shape!" -- Police Story 2
"How can you use my intestines as a gift?" -- The Beheaded 100
"Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!" -- Pedicab Driver

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to think that's all the same conversation right there.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination."

That just made me lose my shit completely.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Man 1: "Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."

Man 2: "Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"

1: "Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."

2: "You daring lousy guy."

Crowd: "Beat him out of recognizable shape!"

2: "How can you use my intestines as a gift? Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!"

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

A favorite from Jet Li's Fong Sai Yuk:

"It is shit to be chased by the dogs!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Shlabingo Ninglenuts and his dog Aborto

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 4 March 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

You forgot the clown.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 4 March 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

luna: hahah yes that ones one of my favourites too, I lose it every damn time I read that rinkworks site, engrish tickles my funnybone.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 4 March 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"Let's decompose and enjoy assembling!" -- Instructions for a puzzle toy made in Taiwan.

---sounds like an art-punk song

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 4 March 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I had this vision, thanks to that, of a Faint video clip featuring socialist zombies massing in the square, in red and black animated splendour.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 4 March 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"The homing beacon! We crashed right inTO it!"

From Captain E-O.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Thursday, 4 March 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I also love
"...went stark raving mad and started busting up the place"

Me too - I am giggling even as I write this.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 4 March 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Gusset cracks me up, as does 'send warlock and Ajax to bring back his body'

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 4 March 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

― LC, Thursday, 4 March 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

jus

as in "i'm as disgusted as a vegan doing au jus shots at the slaughterhouse"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 March 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

MOre by association, I laugh very hard at the word "flames" - it's from "Flames, on the side of my face, breathing - breathless - heaving breaths . . . "

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 March 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll (verb) your (subject) in a minute!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"Do-It-Yourself" has always sounded kind of rude to me, which makes it funny as far as I'm concerned.
Also, this:
"'well it is' in a forrest gump type accent"
has been making me giggle all morning, for some reason.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Doug

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

KYW

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 5 March 2004 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey! Giuliani

"Love (insert 3-letter acronym here)" in homage to "Love TKO"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew it was Donna Brown as soon as I saw the Fall reference.

For me that one is "Hey! Puciani" ...Puciani being a hack musician who used to live by me.

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

it works for everyone-ah :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

My b/f cracked up at the phrase "lip service" the other day in a TV ad for a mechanics. He'd never heard it before (??!!) and thought it was really dirty, which was kinda cute.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

maraud, as a verb and the noun form, esp. when used with one of my favorites upthread: a band of marauders ran amok.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"stop talking about my dick!!"

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

sandwich

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

bum

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:44 (nineteen years ago)

you daring lousy guy

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

Hurting

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

rib-stickin' bean dish

― xero (xero), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

50 Cent in a chair

There is context. '50 Cent in a chair' is the caption to a photo in an image library I use in my current job. Not so shockingly it appears under a photo of rapper 50 Cent sitting in a chair. I just love the implication that this is some special or unusual action for him. It is my secret project to use it everytime I upload a 50 Cent story.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 28 April 2006 06:11 (nineteen years ago)

OTT unidentified Northern English accent: I'll have a cold mouldy old bowl of shredded wheat.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 28 April 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

Monty Jong

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 28 April 2006 10:21 (nineteen years ago)

When ending a phone call, "Goodbye...forever!"

Phoebe did this on Friends one time and it stuck with me. Now I do it at entirely inappropriate times, such as on one of my first phone calls with a guy I was interested in.

― Whispy Fandango Triphop (unclejessjess), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

"bunch of flowers"
"amirite"

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

"corny indie fuq"

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

Goon
Dong
"On some [whole] other [level] shit"

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

FACES

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

amAzing

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

"playing like a true ilx0r"

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

[ilx] GaruG

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

[ILX] RJG

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

"i can't believe he spraylucked me in the face from the other side of the map"

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

pondering naming a character in whatever videogame I play next "Toughburps McFart" while walking home from class last night, I began chuckling like an idiot on the sidewalk

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

five years pass...

have heard two people say on different occasions over the past two days: "you are going to heaven in bodily form" - this is something people say when they are appreciative i guess?

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:18 (thirteen years ago)

but i only hear it as "you are going to die"

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:18 (thirteen years ago)

huh?? I don't even get it. Is it similar to saying like "Oh thanks, you're an angel." or something?

― Juggy Brottleteen (ENBB), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

yeah i guess

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:25 (thirteen years ago)

what a creepy imposition on your afterlife, geez

― Yasmine Teeth (La Lechera), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:26 (thirteen years ago)

"No, no, no. That is not the Hopi way."

I first encountered this as a line in a brief dialogue I was supposed to enact with another student in front of my class. Neither of us could get past this line with a straight face. It has induced giggle fits ever since.

― Aimless, Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:30 (thirteen years ago)

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