Why doesn't everyone in the world want to shag Shayne Carter?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

The other night for a change i was in a room with real people instead of real computers and it became apparent to me that not everyone in the world wants to shag Shayne Carter. (for those that don't know Shayne Carter is a local popstar and has been in many teen idol boy bands, such as The Weeds, the Straitjacket Fits, the Bored Games, Wankfest, Dimmer (which was not always a boy band) and the Doublehappys, but he is most known for his stunning no.1 hit single with Peter Jefferies (from Boyzone), called "Randolphs going home".) It turned out that some people in the room had such a low opinion of him that they wouldn't even put the 'y' in his name.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was some talk about Shayne being very old, but hes not so old that it would be creepy. The first time i thought about shagging Shayne Carter i was about 12 and that would have been creepy. Obviously he has a lot more endurance and credibility as a sex symbol than as a musician.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and as a poet.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe it's because some people want to shag people they think they would have something in common with? Otherwise you might be sleeping with them and you might say something like, 'ha ha ha what about on Stingray how all the oceans got turned into pink ice' and they'd go 'yeah' but you could tell they didn't really get it. And stuff like that.

― maryann, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry that I answered seriously, by the way. I just don't know any jokes, so I always have to be serious.

― maryann, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but I suppose you could want to 'shag' him purely for sensual pleasure. Well, I admit that could happen. But sensual pleasure is so easy. You can get that by just lying down on a bed, like if it has a soft duvet or something, let alone by 'shagging' someone.

― maryann, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but maybe you want to get him for the 'difficulty of the chase', because he is so popular and therefore maybe a 'difficult conquest.' Hmm that's an interesting case. I think I could understand that.

― maryann, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

by the way, when I say 'you' I mean anyone

― maryann, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

don't be sorry i was after serious replies not jokes and yours is probably the most serious i'll get.
i guess you're right i probably wouldn't have anything in common with Shayne Carter either so maybe i should fantasise about another celebrity. its just thats its taken up over half my life (on and off) and i wouldn't know where to start. i guess you're right about my duvet being a better shag than Shayne Carter too. And it would be a better poet.
And no, difficult chases don't impress me, not that i would know how to "chase" anyone.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

how can anyone resist a man who is so little and pouty?

i tried to stalk him earlier this year, but realised its difficult to do when i don't really like his "Dimmer" project that much, so yeah. could we unanimously say that he is the sexiest man in New Zealand?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dimmer were pretty good when it was with Lou Allison and Peter Jefferies. They sucked when Chris Heazlewood joined and i haven't really paid any attention since then. oh damn i've already ruined this thread by talking about music.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am deprived. I did not hear about shayne Carter until this year. Prior to then he was just another short man making up for his lack of height by bouncing around on stage.

I was offered a free ticket to Dimmer, but I declined because the rugby heads were out in force that evening and I was frightened. I did not love the music that much, though I had not heard it a lot. I don't know, maybe it was the reactions from other people, the scenesters, the intellectuals and the media.

I would kick him out of bed for farting, but maybe not for eating crackers.

Oh what the hell am I saying, no celebrity would want me because I do not look like an inflatable doll like the female female impersonator who slept with Robbie Williams when he was here.

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he has some powerful cheekbones. dimmer is now a bad prince knock- off, when i saw them at nunfest they had enough power to light all of the southerm hemisphere, probably with great thanks to robbie yeats. andrew brough was the key guy in sj fits(when he left they stunk), but he looks like a librarian.

― keith, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have not heard the Peter Jefferies period of Dimmer. I was a latecomer to the Shayne Carter phenomenon myself. It was late last year, I saw the video for "Hail" by the Straitjacket Fits, and ever since then Shayne has been my number one masturbation fantasy, speshally in that campy tight little spangly lurex top he wears in that video.

Was peter jefferies in Boyzone? Wow! He really is a drumming whore, isn't he?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh sorry i got boyzone confused with Plagal Grind.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Down In Splendour" was a bunch of shit. It sounds like a woossed out Oasis. SJ Fits didn't just start sucking when Andrew Brough left, they never really went off in the first place. I really only like a couple of SJ Fits early numbers such as She Speeds.

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

in reply to the original question though, i think everyone in the world doesn't want to shag Shayne cos they haven't all seen him.

Does anyone know if he has a big schlong? I bet he does!

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when i saw them at nunfest they had enough power to light all of the southerm hemisphere,Was this in Dunedin? Yeah i was there, that was in their Dead C influenced stage, i forgot about that brief period. Snapper and Crude and the Dead C were much better than Dimmer that night though.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does anyone know if he has a big schlong? I bet he does!

Does anyone have his email address? We could write and ask him.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

maybe if he does they could have a tv special on him, our world or something. Shayne Carter sideshow freak with his entirely inappropriately large member furled up in those jockey's white trousers. It truely would be a third leg.

Damn I wish Shayne Carter was reading this. Shayne, Shayne! I love you and want you to have my babies.

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hands off bitch, he's mine. he's already preggers to me anyway.

do you think we should e-mail a link to this thread to him? ;)

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think it is our civic duty to not only send him this link, but the whole damn transcript. He has a right to know what the public are saying about him.

OK Di, you can have Shayne Carter, he probably thinks I am a man from my name anyway. But don't get greedy with everyone else. Maybe you should give me advice on dressing less like an Oamaru person, and reiterate to me that pink lipstick is not the answer

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tha nunfest thing was fun. i've regretted missing the Puddle with Lesley Paris drumming ever since (i arrived late to avoid the Magick Heads). What was that big bar called? The Provincial? i haven't been there since. is that where Menelaus goes to watch people vomit?

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I always thought Andrew was way cuter than Shayne - it's really Paul VS John, isn't it? (Albeit on a lower scale & stuff, of course.) Singing a song like "Big Fat Elvis" goes a long way in establishing the lack of sexiness in my eyes.

Is Dimmer going to, like, record an album or anything?

― David Raposa, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

duane knows his e-mail address. he offered to give it to me once but i said no, i might just use it to proposition him every five seconds.

Shayne, do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shayne, hunny do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shayne "Love Cushions" Carter, hunny do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"love cushions" sounds like he has had breast implants

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no, just collagen injections

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you two are so much more forward than me. i don't have a chance in hell.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hrmph. You know what I look like Hamish, I dont really have a chance at all. do I want a chance? I dont know. there are far more entertaining people out there I am sure. J'son perhaps?

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i got this off his website: Shayne Carter / Dimmer NB: all mail to this address goes via Dimmer Management. shayne@dimmer.co.nz

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes hamish, i'm sure shayne would be flattered by my desperation

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

somehow I dont think this thread will get past management. A rock star is like a race horse you know, sensitive, highly strung, well hung. Well they should be anyway

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why don't you just shag each other? Or did y'all already jump those bones?

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

because none of us look like Shayne Carter silly.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who's seen the insert to the Doublehappy's "Cut it Out" EP that features Shayne Carter in his underwear?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Haven't seen it Hamish. Is it worth while?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is that the one with the paper dolls? damn the doublehappys, the murdering monsters were going to have paper dolls of ourselves in our lathecut, but they damn well bet us to it (albeit by about 15 years or so).

actually i lied on the "so how many people have you shagged" thread. i am a virgin. sex with anyone other than shayne carter doesn't really count as sex.

i bet you enjoyed the video for "done", didn't you hamish? you pervert.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

can't remember - i think Liz has a copy for you to drool over.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no i haven't seen the video to "done". whats in it?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

right, I definitely will be making the long trek up the hill for that baby. David, if you are especially lucky we may be so overcome by Shayne Carters beautiful body that we have an impromptu orgy which I will tell you about in grotesque and technicolour detail.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

menelaus, are you matt middleton? ;)

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wish I was, but I can't handle the ide that pornography is demystifying womens sexuality. I would approve if there was an 0900 number demystifying Matt's...

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh hamish... he's got his shirt off in that vid. phwoor! i have almost every Shayne Carter videoclip ever made, on videos labelled "Shayne Carter's Love Cushions: Volumes 1, 2 and 3." it has everything from "The Others Way" and "Needles and Plastic" to "Evolution" and "randolph's Going Home".

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

see i am more in love with shayne than you are. but i'll let you be vice-president of the fan-club.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh thanks i'll have to borrow the video off you sometime. i haven't seen "needles and plastic" either.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

Gasp! So you get to sleep with Shayne every night then?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

easy Hamish, just call your duvet Shayne Carter.

I think I need to see these videos too

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I most certainly do. I bet you didn't know that the man responsible for such gems as "Needles and Plastic" was in real life a purple care-bear.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is Shayne Carter the pin-up boy from Flying Nun? Can a meaningful relationship be had with him, or is it all about sheer desire? Have I seen him live once? (Yes I have, with the Fits in 1993.) Can Brian do a spot-on imitation of him lisping the chorus to "She Screams"? (Yes he can.) Shayne Carter, ladies and gents! The man who will forever be known as the guy who sometimes collaborates with Alastair Galbraith.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

damn right, when we've all forgotten what he looks like he'll only be remembered for his guest appearances on the second and third Alastair Galbraith albums.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are you trying to tell me, Ned, that i can't have a meaningful relationship with my teddy bear? I'll show you! My teddy bear has feelings, he bleeds just like anyone else.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When I was a fresher, I went to a Shayne Carter gig at Arc. Shayne was quite rude to the audience and straight off first thing he said that he "wasnt fucken gonna play 'she speeds'". Nobody had even asked him to.

― rainy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes rainy thats a good reason why some people might not want to shag Shayne Carter. My desire is based on the fact that i've never met him.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I really don't like teh way Shayne is spelt with a y, it seems somehow wrong, tarting up a good panelbeater's name like that.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does anyone know when Shayne's book is soming out?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Its a response to Matthew Bannister's "Positively George Street", not Madonna's "Sex".

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wish he would put poetry and musings in it like Jewel. maybe I could get one for the coffee table

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i have heard from many rports that shayne is an egotistical arrogant self-centred prat. that just makes me want him more.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he said his book would have less lyrics in it than Matthew's so we won't get to see his beautiful teenangst lines in print. Whats everyone's favourite Shayne Carter lyric?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"her speeding and her freedom's what's appealing to me to stop her in her tracks"

I don't like the lyric in "Hail" about heads exploding. otherwise, i love that song.

― Shayne's Sex Slave, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

just wanted to post so I could sign off

― Shayne's bit on the side, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

how could you menelaus? i thought we were friends!

― The Mother Of Shayne's Children, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

bye Menelaus. i'm stuck at the computers for a few more hours 'cos i'm trying to do some actual work (haha).

How about "My Gibson whispers nothing to me?" That one elways cracks me up.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no, no! i am not leaving, I ws just signing that particular post with a phrase to inspire Di to greater creativity.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what song is that from hamish? which album etc?

― The Woman Who Will Be Holding Shayne Carter's Hand As He Breathes His Dying Brea, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it was Quiet Come off Melt.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My band got asked to support dimmer.

I play a left-handed SG, just like him. (yeah, so its not my guitar, the point is i play it and its just like his!)

― We Can Be Together In The Afterlife Shayne, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If I can't have him I will be

― the woman who borrows Duane's van to run Shayne Carter over, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey di you know i posted this link to the dimmer webpage don't you? and that this is gonna come up in search engines in ten years time everytime anyone seraches for anything to with him?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have only heard Melt once. didn't he look beautiful in the video of "bad note fpor a heart"? i think he was wearing make-up.

(waits for Shayne's post: "Ewww, I am a manly man, i do nt wear make-up!", to which i reply "You are right, oh man of my dreams, you do not require any enhancement, you are perfection."

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

are you kidding hamish? i am going to the dimmer page to check up on you RIGHT NOW.

― My Love For Shayne Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Manly man yeah right, hes as faggy as that other closet celebrity Tom Cruise. Face it di and menelaus, neither of you stand a chance - you don't have the required apparatus.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My strap on is bigger than yours hamish

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh okay Mene you win. i'm sure Duane's van will come in useful for the consummation of your relationship with Shayne.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, and I'll promise not to reverse afterwards

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

just you wait hamish. just you wait

― Shayne's Pre-Op Tranny, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've just been in for a preliminary consultatio for an arsehole transfer. I want everything to be fresh and new for my Shayne

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why doesn't everyone in the world want to shag Shayne Carter?

Cos who would want to be like us freaks?

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when they see Shayne Carter they will be powerless to resist.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey shayne...lets be cats together.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shayne do I appear in your dreams and give you an immense feeling of love?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Question: Does the last name of the ubiquitous Hamish begin and end with an N, perchance? Six letters?

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah so where do you know our man from daver?
hey hamish couldnt you've said "root" instead of "shag"? that would've been much better.

― duane, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When Shayne steals my cherry, it'll be LoveMaking, with a capital L. none of your crude vulgarities, duane zarakov, to cheapen my experience.

― Under The Satin Sheets With Shayne In The Candlelight, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I do believe I purchased my copy of the Doublehappys' album from Mr. Hamish back in The Day via the Interweb. He runs a tape label of some sort, yes? Bunch of obscure noisy New Zealand greatness (I'm guessing - haven't heard any of it)? Lots of Greek lettering? The things I remember...

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think you are being selfish Di, Duane, Hamih and David, would you care to join me

― Peeking through the windows with a video camera and television crew, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah thats right David. Yeah i sold that record complete with the semi-nude insert - am i still allowed in the fanclub di?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

have you no respect for the sanctity of our marriage, mene?

― Shayne Likes Me Best In French Lace, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No.

― The Widow Maker, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i don't know hamish. i'm having serious doubts about the authenticity of your fandom.

― Wifey, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wifey? thoroughly domesticated aren't we?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i would do anything for that man.

― Yes Master, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fetch me a cup of coffee woman

― Shayne Carter, in the Physio Lab, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, Master. Would you like soy milk? Sugar? Frothy on the top? I'll even bring you the newspaper and the remote control.

― I Dream Of Shayney, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

flat white w/ milk not soy, newspaper and a block of chocolate pllease. When you are s small as I am you have to eat lots of sugar and stuff so you don't faint in mid performance.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dunedin get a room! Blimey!!

― mark s, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh you curmudgeon.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

a room with video-streaming CCTV and a microphone hidden in the lamp obviously

― mark s, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

perverted, AND curmudgeonly!

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and we have 100 posts, in the space of 12 hours! congratulations to the dunedin sadasses who devoted their sundays to this pointless expression of desire

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It was a pleasure and a delight. But still I have not made it to the stats cock. so look forward to seeing me on a great many more sundays.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i can't believe i haven't made it to the sstats cock yet either. i'd better have made it by the end of tomorrow.

be afraid. be very afraid

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

http://mypage.direct.ca/j/jniven/

there you go, ladies and gentlemen, if you would like to perve at my husband you now can. you can also get soundbites and mp3s and other info. IMHO, if you want to hear music, listen to the doublehappys and bored games stuff. the fits and dimmer are a tad patchy.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Fits aren't THAT patchy. _Hail_ & _Melt_ are damn near perfect. _Blow_ (ha!) is an acquired taste. And, of course, I don't know Dimmer from ELO.

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ELO are better.

― duane, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I only know of the the Straitjacket Fits and Doublehappys. Wasn't Peter Jefferies in This Kind Of Punishment? I really loved with Beard of Bees. So is Sha(y)ne cute? Oh yeah, I don't like the Clean. Sort of shows you what crap taste in muzak I have, I guess.

― helen fordsdale, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is Shayne cute? IS SHAYNE CUTE!!??

i will assume that is a rhetorical question.

i have hail. some of it is okay. "hail" is the best song on it, it leaves the other tracks for dead. melt...have only heard once. as my flatmate once said "I didn't like 'Blow', it blew." i would v. much like to hear the Life In One Chord EP.

As for Dim And Dimmer, its true, ELO are better. But I did like "evolution".

Is Shayne cute? You may as well be asking, "Is Ally a tart?"

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wasn't Peter Jefferies in This Kind Of Punishment?

Yes. So was Shayne Carter actually.

IMHO, if you want to hear music, listen to the doublehappys and bored games stuff. the fits and dimmer are a tad patchy.

no listen to Randolphs Going Home and his stuff with TKP and Alastair Galbraith. If you're not from NZ you may not have heard She Speeds 16 million times so listen to that too.

i don't know hamish. i'm having serious doubts about the authenticity of your fandom.

Di, i feel your interest in Shayne is merely a passing crush that you will get over in a week when you find another celebrity to have a crush on. Shayne wants someone who will love him eternally, not just while hes flavour of the month. Besides hes gay - you'll have to settle with being his faghag.

Is Dimmer going to, like, record an album or anything?

i believe that dimmer have recorded several albums. One of these was released on a multinational label in NZ this year and it is apparently a chart hit. I think people who buy Dimmer albums are missing the point.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Besides hes gay

My vision of the universe is crushed. Wait, no it isn't.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hamish, you have crushed us all, but I take refuge in the fact that I am as good as a man any day.

you are just trying to demoralize Di and me so you can swoop in when Shayne is feeling sensitive and unloved. Right, I am going to talk to Liz about this, she'll beat you up you big sook.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

shayne carter is not gay, he just hasn't met the right woman yet, and men don't really know their own minds anyway.

― How Could Shayne Possibly Resist My Gigantic Knockers, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He is so. Remember that time at Brighton and he spent the whole time flirting with me and ignoring you?

― hamish, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey hamish, what did you think of shayne's mullet phase? it wasn't just any regular milton-fresh-do though, it was a crimped mullet.

being from oamaru and all, i loved it.

― di, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh pah-lease! he looked at me appreciatively in the middle of one of the songs.

― di, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he flirted with you guys so he could get close to me. pshhh, you are SO ARROGANT

― Menelaus Darcy, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i love shayne. so there.

― di, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So do I. can we do Robert Jordan take on thi situation and be sister wives? I'll have monday, wed, and Fri, you have tues, thurs and sat. On the sabbath he can rest

― Menelaus Darcy, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sorry, he is my Warder and I am in the Green Ajah, so guess what? i win. you suck. game over!

― Alanna Mosvani, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i played in that Nunfest line-up of Dimmer....Lou Allison lives in Brighton (UK, not Christchurch) now; she digs trilobites too.

― cameron bain, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never heard of him nor any of his bands so i can't comment on his shaggability.

― Samantha, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If expressing carnal desire for Shayne is going to help Dunedin get one over the London sign me up. Shayne Carter, he's my kind of man.

― stevo, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

click here for web-site with a photo of Shayne . That racing-jockey look is very fetching, or does he play polo? What a guy.

― stevo, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh pah-lease! he looked at me appreciatively in the middle of one of the songs.

no he was looking at Peter who was next to you.

he flirted with you guys so he could get close to me. pshhh, you are SO ARROGANT

You weren't even there! You people are such liars! Shayne is SOOO gay - he'd never flirt with either of you.

― hamish, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey hamish, what did you think of shayne's mullet phase? it wasn't just any regular milton-fresh-do though, it was a crimped mullet.

Yeah that mullet was pretty gay.

― hamish, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I see Shayne around my neighbourhood occasionally, and in the local supermarket(Grey Lynn Celebrity Foodtown-lots of Shorty St people and other hasbeens/wannabes go there too). I think he has a girlf. She looks a bit like me;) I met her a few years ago-she was a friend of one of my flatmates. She said she used to be a girly groupie fan before she met him.

― clarebear, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i went to that supermarket once on the way to Shaun Jury's house. It was real exciting but i was dissappointed i din't see any celebrities. You actually see more celebrities in supermarkets in Dunedin than in Auckland. Liz told me that Foodtown was a lesbian cruising supermarket or something.

― hamish, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I miss Shaun Jury, where is he?

― rainy, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Last time i saw Shaun he was living in Grey Lynn with Stefan Neville and studying computer science. all the coolest people study computer science. maybe someone else will have more uptodate info on his whereabouts?

Oh yeah i bet that girl in Grey Lynn is Shayne's faghag so i guess your out of luck for that one too Di?

― hamish, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

click here for web-site with a photo of Shayne

Dear lord, is he a druglord with some sporting time-off? or a South American Dictator with a bizarre penchant for pop fashion?

I mean, I can imagine more people wanting to shag Jeremy Eade, Alistair Galbraith, Roy Montgomery, or... hell, anybody else. Why Shayne?

― Brian MacDonald, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why does everyone spell Alastair's name wrong? i just saw a poster for his gig with his name spelt wrong.

― hamish, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I've got dibs on Alastair, so ha. Hamish, thanks for sending this link my way, it's very, erm, informative . . .

― Poppy, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think it is all this talk of Shayne Carter that has been making me vomit so much.

― rainy, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What link?

― hamish, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The link pointing to this page.

― Poppy, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Alastair is always good for entertainment Hamish, but before I make any fuirther committment I need to see photographic evidence.

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if you don't want to hear about shayne carter, rainy, don't read the shayne carter thread! ;)

maybe shayne's bi, hamish. or are you not into compromising? you selfish beast!

― di, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I dont like Shayne Carter, but I have a fascination with y'all who are posting on this here thread, Di.

He doesnt really make me want to puke though, I was just being silly.

― rainy, Tuesday, 23 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is shayne carter related to nick carter and aaron carter? That is the real question!

wow... i don't think i've evre fascinated anyone before.

― di, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is shayne carter related to nick carter and aaron carter?

Isn't Nick Carter from Christchurch? Who is Aaron Carter?

maybe shayne's bi, hamish. or are you not into compromising? you selfish beast!

Oh okay we can share. What nights do you want him?

― hamish, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sorry forgot to close the italics.

― hamish, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nick carter is from the backstreet boys, silly. aaron carter is nick carter's baby brother.

i work during the week, so if i could have him weekends, it'd be cool. like joint custody, eh?

― di, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I get to have Shayne Carter some of the time you selfish beasts! If I dont get joint custody I am going to abduct him

― Menelaus Righteous indignation Darcy, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but you'll just run him over.

― di, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

WHO THE FUCK IS SHAYNE CARTER

― anthonyeaston, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey menelaus, you can share the weekdays with me 'cos i don't have much time or energy for a secondary. Just don't go running him over okay? Sorry for not being familiar with Backstreet Boys Di, i thought you were talking about the Expendables (NZs answer to S Club 7). Who the fuck is Anthony Easton?

― hamish, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

someone w/o a working knowledge of shayne carter

― anthonyeaston, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm sorry to invade this thread again, but I REALLY need to know who the Earl of Sandwich is.

Since there some confusion about various identities that may or may not get cleared up here, I thought this might be a good place to pop that question.

Thank you.

― rainy, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anthony this thread contains more information about Shayne Carter than most people know, I think theres a link in it too. You kind of have to wade through a lot of stuff about different people wanting to shag him though.

― rainy, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey anthony, there's a web address on this thread of shayne's most well-known band from the 80's, the Straitjacket Fits. theres also a web address of his latest project Dimmer on here somewhere. and yeah, there's also info here on what colour undies he wears, whether or not he has bellybutton lint, whether or not its acceptable for him to have bellybutton lint, you get my drift.

just know that between me and hamish he doesn't have time for you.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter but only on the weekends cos hamish won't let me have h, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK Hamish, weekdays it is, and I promise not to run him over. I'll use an inflatable doll for that particular activity. mmm Imagine the explosion

― Menelaus Darcy, Thursday, 25 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

shayne is sex

― di, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

breaking news! (as opposed to breaking wind I 'spose, which leads me to question is there such a thing as late breaking wind?)

Anyway, just saw on the telly that "She Speeds" came in at number 9 in the top 10 songs of the past 75 years at some award here in NZ. Apparently that decision is quite controversial because SJF are an "alternative" band.

Although I think that it's not quite as controversial as the number 1 spot "nature" by whoever did it, which is basically a sort late 60's drug culture thang...."nature enter me"... in a big puff o smoke methinks.

― smythe,mr smythe, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that was pathetic wasn't it? bic runga made it to the top ten as well... damn.

― Menelaus Darcy, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No.1 shoulda been "Be Mine Tonite."

― AP, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bic is infinately more talented than whoever did nature. Wasn't that (nature) a one hit wonder?

I was also disappointed that all the songs were from the last 30 odd years, not 75 as billed. But then... I don't know of any NZ music before the 60's.

― smythe,mr smythe, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, I'm wrong. "Counting the Beat" shoulda won.

― AP, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, they might as well have had OMC at the top of the chart.

I think Bic Runga's music is pretty boring, as is her sister's and most of the Finn family arsenal. It does not move me :)

― Menelaus Darcy, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually, that one Katango single shoulda won.

― AP, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Nature" wasn't a 1-hit thing, it was by the Fourmyula. They had a pile of hits.

― duane, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

bic runga sux shit.

apparently they announced that "she speeds" was on the list in this mornings staff briefing at KVC. half the staff grumbled about it, i have heard he wasn't liked much by the teachers there or something. would love to know why!

ooooh i lurve bad boys.

― di, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sierra Leone by Coconut Rough should have been numbers one and two.

― rainy, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

duane: hits such as?

di: who do you u know at KV? Shayne is notoriously arrogant, and probably was at high school, but surely no worse than yer avg teenager. sounds like typical tall poppy syndrome to me, especially given Dunners is a Presbyterian city. ( ie conservative and self depreciating/humble)

― smythe,mr smythe, Tuesday, 30 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mr Smythe, do you know Duane and Di? Do we know you? should the dunners ILE'rs be starting up a weekend pub vcrawl to rival the london one?

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 30 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey smythe, do i know you? i know lots of people at KV, i work there.

― di, Tuesday, 30 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh yeah the Fourmyula, well they had 'Alice is There", "Come With Me", "Home", "Lady Scorpio", & "Otaki", those were all hits. None of em as big as "Nature" but most of em are pretty good.

― , Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sierra Leone? that brings back painful memories. ugh

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 3 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hamish you said this was just a passing phase. guess what, two weeks later i still want to screw him. you were wrong, so there, nya nya nya

― di, Sunday, 4 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and I still want to run him over. brrrm brrrm

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 4 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

this is dunners, I think we all know each other or someone who knows someone who knows someone, know what i mean?

i used to go to KV, and I have even had one of the teachers there as a neighbor! eeek! specially since the walls in the building were thin, and well you know... it takes away the mystery.

I do believe that one ILEr knows my true identity, but whether that has been revealed or not I don't know. I've been very busy and not had time to hang out here.

― smythe,mr smythe, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

c'mon, mr smythe, give us more clues as to your identity. pleeeez. otherwise i will tell everyone you are gavin shaw. or jason aldridge.

― di, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or... The Chest!

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

who is The Chest?

― di, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That guy who is More Chest Than Man. Black hair, strange swagger, tight jeans pulled up past waist, plaid shirts tucked in and unbuttoned halfway ... brrrrr. Once you start noticing him, you'll never go a day without seeing him.

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Chest creeps me out. i heard they other day that he isn't enrolled at university - he just turns up everyday because he likes young girls.

― hamish, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i wondered if that was who you meant. he is scarey looking, that saunter, ick.

― di, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thinbk he's vaguely involved with the Physics department, but he does have a penchant for young girls too. He works out at the gym in his jeans!

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

four months pass...

Postscript. http:/ /www.bands.co.nz/script/shownews.asp?id=298

― Poppy, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bloody hell! I should start saying saucy things about popstars I fancy and see if it makes its way back to them....

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i don't even want to shag him anymore! sheesh! some people have faith in the constancy of my desire?

― di, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He only rejected Di. i guess that means hes available for the rest of us. told you he was a homo.

― hamish, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm glad he's feeling suitably dehumanised. oh, btw hamish, congrats on your non-rejected-status.

― di, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Catherine Deneuve etc? What's with that?

― maryann, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but Shayne hasn't seen your rekkid collection, Di! it'd make any self- respecting music nerd weep!

― petra jane, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, speshally the bananarama!

― di, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

do one of you losers want to own up to this?

― , Thursday, 28 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm really jealous of hamish's mystery note.
and anton had mystery flowers last year!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Thursday, 28 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

duh! it's obvious at first sight who it's from: it's got root don lonie for cash symbols drawn on it!!!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

we should tell clayton to go dehumanise them himself! hey tell me more about shanton's mystery flowers!

― di, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ps hamish i'm retrieving my Love Cushions video collection from mene's today for your dehumanising pleasure. haha! i'm still cracked up by dean's impersonations of him!

― di, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i apologise for my shoddy sleuthing.
'twas in fact the young essss kayyyyy, and the pics were not root don lonie rat-things, they were doodles that had their genesis in X's and O's ie kisses and hugs awwwww

i can't find the dehumanisers web site. i heard their debut's coming out soon

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

My Credentials: Just like Shayne, I was once editor of Mercury - the school newspaper at KV. And, just like Shayne, I nearly got expelled for it (that's an answer to Di's querie, as above). Actually, it was a weak attempt to emulate Mr Carter, but admiration is not talent. My brother was also at KV and a friend of Di's flame.

So here is the definitive answer as at 1991 (you guys are too young!) - Back then, it was well known that the Speeder in that song played too often to the point that the great one would no longer play it was... Miranda Harcourt. I don't know her, but she is a her, so - Hamish - bad luck.

The real question is... Do you really want to shag someone who smokes cigarrettes while you go down on him? (I mean, listen carefully to lyrics folks)

― ex KVHS., Friday, 28 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh my illusions of Shayne as NZ rock god and deep introverted musso have been destroyed for ever! you people are foul, crawl back into the stinky Duniden flat from whence you came. It's a shame true fans such as myself need to defend his genius, aparrently he's read this - but nothing to add? anyone who genuinly loves shayne feel free to post some old school pics of him in his school uniform. (gay voice does not always = gay man)

― carteradmirer, Tuesday, 9 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe not, but he combines it with a tight black t-shirt. therefore he is a chutney pumper.

― di, Tuesday, 9 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

....I honestly hope he doesn't read that

― carteradmirer, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

di now you must tell me about the straitjacket fits and doublehappys

― Ron, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

if jason ballard still resides in dunedin (i think senor zarakov, he know heem), he used to have a really great bootleg tape of the doublehappys live at (i think) the windsor castle in auckland, featuring a really great song i never heard elsewhere, "putting you out of my misery" and a really great stand-up routine by wayne elsey (while shayne was changing a string or something, i s'pose) where he tells a very funny joke about an ant fucking an elephant. they rocked and had charisma in spades.

― c., Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ron, all will be revelaed when you receive the mixtape!

― di, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm excited!!

― Ron, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah jason ballard still does live on the corner of tennyson st with that fat guy. he goes out even less than me so it's blue moon time if you ever see him tho. but thanks for reminding me of that guy, i oughta go round & see him & yeah when i do i will axe him about that tape.

― peter rodd, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

say hi from me. and how are you yr own self, by the way?

― c., Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

real good right now! the sun's shining & i'ma go to the beach, swim in the salt water pool at st clair. it'd be so great if you were here man!

― d\rag, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hey doorag, sorry for piking but i am afraid of freezing cold water and also i have a lecture in 50 minutes.

― di, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i have always been here before

― c., Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm sorry I missed out on the st clair too - did you see the Vienna boys' choir there? Apparently they went to st clair and had a picnic and some time at the beach that day.

― halo halo, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

no i didnt see em but when i'm swimming i don't have my spectacles on so i can't see too good.

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

four weeks pass...

hey everyone i think i just saw shayne carter at records records!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 03:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Hamish, I can't really believe that you want to sleep with Shayne Carter. I just can't believe it!

― maryann, Wednesday, 21 August 2002 03:44 (twenty-three years ago)

So why does he sneer all the time like an "intense" 13 yearold? And is that meant to be sexy? I used to see him on K'rd all the time and I just wanted to give him a wedgie or something to stop him looking so silly. Obviously suppressed desire.

― Andrew Thames, Wednesday, 21 August 2002 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)

haha obv he was trying to impress you!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

the straitjacket fits didnt sound like teen idol boy band to me, but i like these songs on yr tape, di. they did not make me want to shag shayne carter, though.

― ron (ron), Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:23 (twenty-three years ago)

but have you heard Shayne in This Kind of Punishment? Now there was a teen idol boy band!

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:25 (twenty-three years ago)

i haven't. i probably still won't want to shag him though ;-)

― ron (ron), Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:31 (twenty-three years ago)

the doublehappys were more teen idol than sjf, they had wayne elsey and a young john collie in a polkadot shirt! hamish are you serious about desiring the jefferies brothers?

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Why doesn't everyone in the world use the word "shag"?

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Hamish can't live without Graeme crooning in his ear while Peter plays the piano to "On an Unknown Beach." It is his Dream of Lust.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:33 (twenty-three years ago)

The young John Collie, now THERE was someone worth swooning over! SWOOOOOOON!

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Di: no.

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 04:04 (twenty-three years ago)

What's wrong with the Jeffries brothers?

― maryann, Thursday, 22 August 2002 05:55 (twenty-three years ago)

petra jkohn collie was at the quiz night last night and he's not swoonworthy anymore.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 09:47 (twenty-three years ago)

But i saw him at the Clean the other month and he was still all dimples and boyish good looks! And he still has a sensible haircut.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 11:07 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

this was such a good thread, i'm glad i remembered about it.

― estela (estela), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:44 (nineteen years ago)

Sweet memories. Now to get back down there (not to shag Shayne Carter, though).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:47 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.