MEN:SHOW US YOUR WIENERS

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okay, don't show them, but in the interests of fairness please describe your male sex organs in excruciating detail. Starting NOW

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

36D.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Bitchez on my jock like a coup deville

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought that was what ilm was for.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

It's smiling at you.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

my sex organ?
http://www.aloha.com/~darkwatr/the_organ.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I wasn't circumcized. I met a guy once who was "growing" his foreskin back. Anyone tried that?

― Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

http://theimaginaryworld.com/pix20.jpg

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm really glad i'm "cut " - girls get freaked out by the skin. American girls, anyhow.

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

you sure you don't want to see it?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I met a guy once who was "growing" his foreskin back. Anyone tried that?

Ignoring the more obvious question ("Why?"), I'm more intrigued by exactly HOW he plans to pull this off (pardon the pun).

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I predict the first man to answer this seriously will be Skidmore.

I disapprove of the implicit attempt to draw an equivalence between breasts and penises.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd just like to point out that the thread below this on New Answers starts with "hard, oily." Not that I'm saying anything.

― Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Long and slim when erect. Foreskin clipped. Slight curviture to the left. My right testicle dangles lower than the other.

x-posts ha ha you wrong other nIck

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"Artery-demolishing."

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do you disapprove? Is it the unfair 2 on 1 advantage?

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

'Ignoring the more obvious question ("Why?"), I'm more intrigued by exactly HOW he plans to pull this off (pardon the pun)...."

Dr. Dean Edell described the procedure. It involves scotch tape and six months, I think.

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"What gets you through your day/life"

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Ignoring the more obvious question ("Why?"), I'm more intrigued by exactly HOW he plans to pull this off (pardon the pun).

To answer the more obvious first, I met a German guy once who claimed I could not fathom the pleasure he felt because I was circumcized. I don;t know how he knew that, but...

How? Well there is some sort of tool that stretches what skin you have left slowly over time. see nocirc.org

― Mitchell Wimbish (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

you know i never really notice when a guy is uncircumcised. doesn't seem to make much difference to me.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

oh LORD are we gunna get some fun googlers from this thread

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, there are websites and books you can read. ("The Joy of Uncircumcision" is the book that I used to see regularly at the Strand.) But from what I've read, the restretched foreskin isn't really the same thing at all.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What, Sam, do you not go down on guys?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"After a hot bath, to make the skin soft and loose, pull it as far
forward over the head as possible, WITHOUT CAUSING PAIN. Use a piece of tape to strap it in place, running the tape side to side instead or top to bottom . Tapping side to side will make it
easier to urinate with the tape in place. For some people, it
may be easier to sit down and urinate..."

From the Foreskin Restoration page: http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

absolutely I do but still, don't really notice much difference. If it's dark and I didn't know ahead of time I probably wouldn't know at all.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Taping my stretched out dick is not exactly what I want to do after a nice hot bath.

― Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't miss my foreskin if I don't even remember it!

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Well do you know that you have experienced both varieties?

― Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't remember your foreskin, Aaron, but it remembers you.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow. I'm going to respectfully disagree with Sam on that one -- uncut penises tend to have, well, more to play with as well as a different smell, taste, and texture (the head of the penis doesn't get so, well, callused). Of course some guys have more generous amounts of foreskin that others...

Anyway, we already had a "describe your penis" thread a few months ago.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

eh I can't say I really 'experienced' being uncut as I would qualify it.

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Sitting down while I urinate makes the penis a moot point anyway.

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

aaron, sorry i was asking ask for janice

― Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Your foreskin is unqualified, Aaron?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

chris, the only thing i might have noticed is what seems like baggy skin. although the last guy i was with who was uncut was pretty tasty. . .don't know if that was why or not.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

That was quite possibly why. ;-)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I long to cry out You have made my penis a moot point!, but as yet the appropriate context has not presented itself.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

why else would I qualify it??

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

So this is just a straight-up cocksucking thread, then?

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know, Aaron - job opportunities?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

no not straight, according to nza

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

For fuck sake, ILX is in the gutter. Not really but does anyone want to look at this thread? It scares me someone is thinking "ah yes, Ned's lad has always been an enigma to me, and what about Geir Hongro's, the possibilities are endless!!"

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha, Ronan is scared of female sexuality. Deviant sexuality, I grant you.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Not really, I find men being into it just as odd, if there was a thread "describe your breasts" I wouldn't be into it either. I am a neo-con.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

no wait you're a neo-con, AND YOU, AND HIM, AND ESPECIALLY YOU.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes but what about your penis?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe it.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

and yet he not only opened the thread but bothered to post to it too. thanks for the scolding!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

very clever.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

One careful owner.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

you're still here

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

He was secretly hoping to see Ned's penis after all.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's Momus's penis when you need it?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

can you please leave so i can showeth my wang in peace?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

That will never happen.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

My outrage is of the mock variety. (my penis isn't)

Oops you are a raft of lemons.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it a wang of peace?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

it's on wangs of praise regularly

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

still. here.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It is a the wang of annoyance and malaise.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

what's w/ the olive branches to the raft of lemons?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

A wang so angelic it has wings.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Wangwings.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

You are the wind beneath my wangs?

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Oops if you told me yours was covered in gold and performed episodes of seinfeld in chinese I'd still think you were a twat.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

aren't there any other threads you disapprove of that you go damn and tell everyone you're above such things?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, that did make me laugh out loud.

x-post

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

but I didn't come to this thread to fight. so please, resume at episode 6 scene 5-jerry fears his greying hair means he is getting old

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

A twat wang? This is the wangiest argument ever.

x-post

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan's a wiener, not a fighter.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a bratwurst.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is good! it makes me laugh and distracts me from the boob/bra threads.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

wieners don't use drugs.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I resent it when people assume that wangs are just a joke.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Share your wangst with us.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

wang wang wang (oh wait that's not a pun, is it)

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasn't that a Caberet Voltaire B-side?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

everybody wang chung tonight

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Wang Chung is the reason wangs have gotten a bad rap.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasn't that a Caberet Voltaire B-side?

N's wiener is an obscure record by an influential band of art terrorists.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone ever done a wang rap?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

george michael.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

on a wang and a prayer

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

No, but seriously - there must be hiphop tracks describing wangs, right?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

the 'inserting message' thing takes on new meaning with this thread

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

My cock:

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/cock.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not fancy

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

it is very proud, though

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

mine is several shades darker than the rest of my body's skin tone, oddly enough. there's a mole-like spot on the head (no not that kind you sick fuxorz). curves to the left (my left, anyway).

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

wham! rap and he was gay w/ a police man, get it?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Why did I click on this thread? I mean, i tried, but it wa simpossible to resist.

Oh and regarding foreskin you don't really get anymore pleasure from having it cause it ends up getting pulled back pretty quick.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

No, but seriously - there must be hiphop tracks describing wangs, right?

There are quite a few Wu-Tang I gotta big dick raps.

From Wildflowers, a Ghostface track,

"Remember when I long-dicked you and broke your ovary?
You crab bitch, chickenhead hoe, eatin' heros
I'm the first nigga that had you watchin flicks by DeNiro[...]
I fucked you while you was bleedin, held you down in malls
Sexually you worshipped my di-dick like a cross[...]
But fuck it, I fucked you on a chair with three legs
Broken tables, had you screamin while you was bitin on my cables
Whistlin to the washing machine, I threw it on spin
If your pussy dry, spit on my dick and put it in
My dick's the bomb baby, marvelous hot steak
Plus I'm conceited Starks make the biggest so-called rape"

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

'Jimbrowski' by Jungle Bros

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.lambiek.net/artists/tom_of_finland/tom_bikers2.jpg

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

'Marvelous hot steak' sounds curiously quaint.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

(i have actually submitted a serious pic for an artist friend of mine... i'm not into posting it on my local host though, for several reasons.. not that it's anything to get too excited about anyway... but if someone else is willing to host it, i will send the pic)

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds like Nigerian fraudster spam gone wrong.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

My Wiener (although, technically speaking, she's a Wienerin) is blonde, about 5'3" and thin, younger looking than she is, and quite lovely. She's in the other room now, sleeping with the cat. She's also very excited that we're moving to Vienna in the next few months.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

*insert King Missile song here*

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

No, but seriously - there must be hiphop tracks describing wangs, right?

if Schoolly D's "Mr. Big Dick" wasn't obvious enough...

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.findagrave.com/meatpage/libbysvienna.jpg

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

If there weren't reason enough to boycott Nestlé already..

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

my dad took the skin from my brother's and my circumsision and made wallets out of them

― JaXoN (JasonD), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

when you rub them they turn into suitcases

― JaXoN (JasonD), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I heard that as a Jewish joke at school.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I ponder this thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I ponder all the tit-talk that's gone before and then wonder why the hell no one sez shit on this one. or do I actually?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

what do you mean "shit"?

I liked yr honest answer matos. people should be so squeamish about their bodies.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"penises look funny", therefore jokes dominate moreso than critical phallic discussion.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

(sigh, I miss anthony.. we really need a thread on the phallus: the art and criticisms thereof)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Keep your threads away from my phalllus.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

My answer was both entirely serious and entirely honest.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It was sweet. I love hearing about disembodied wieners.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I was being petulant, sorry. But there is this weird thing where if a guy talks about his cock he's seen to be (or maybe more to the point AFRAID of seeming to be) bragging about it or something. Or just being pervy. Whereas women talk about their boobs all the time. I suppose it's not really analagous, though, the way there would be if there were more straight-up vag talk.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Vag Talk, with your host: Barbara Walters

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we talk about treasure trails and man nipples and make a compromise?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I keep on adding "if you love hip hop" to the thread title.

blount I thought just porn stars did the band-around-the-sack thing

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously though, if anyone really wants to see mine, just send an email to d o n u t b i z i t c h (at) h o t m a i l (dot) c o m and i'll send a pic back. don't care if you're anonymous or not. it's just a dick.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

(keep in mind i'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning, so i may not get to the, haha, "mounds" of requests right away)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Almond Joy's got nuts--Mounds don't

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

let show you baby i'm a talented boy

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

my dick smells like cinnamon and if you suck on it long enough there's gold inside - come here i'll show you!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i once wrote a paper on the penis in contempary art, i used lots of freud.

― anthony, Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ipsofacto's penis sculpture to thread!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

C'mon folks, if you all don't start posting pics of your dicks, how will I be able to photoshop them into a bag? There's the bigger picture to think of here.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ouch.

― andy, Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

honestly, I'm still trying to figure out how to describe mine, and whether or not that gets me off the hook for the breasts thread.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"your fireman is very magical;
if you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye."

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Where I come from, length, circumference, circumcision status, and any notable landmarks is the proper way to describe one's penis.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

To quote my friend Laura who yelled it out a car window on a roadtrip while passing several construction workers: SHOW US YOUR DICKS!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Did they?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

how about this: ringed, wrinkly, medium-sized, friendly, underemployed.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

holy shit did I just describe RUE MCCLANAHAN?

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know, I was driving!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes you did.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

that was a pretty good x-post luna

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't really have a great need to describe myself, but I felt it would help expiate all my bad karma on ILX from today. I feel clean now.

Funny how making everyone else feel sick does that for me.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

if you want to see mine you can email your mom for the pics

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I thought it was too, sug. Wondertwin powers...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

ACTIVATE!

form of...oh never mind

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

(I couldn't think of anything good)

(Well, I could, but I let it go)

(Well I didn't, but I'm out of batteries)

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I keep reading:

holy shit did I just describe RUE MCCLANAHAN?

I don't know, I was driving!

because I really, really want to see the movie that clips that exchange for the trailer.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the idea the twins can't decide on something and they just become random lumps of coagulated matter.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry for saying "clip" and "exchange" and "Rue McClanahan" on a wiener thread.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm NOT sorry for totally breaking this thread. Nick and Matos both actually described their wieners, but it was mine that ended everything. Thank you, and good night.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 March 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

would it be too crass and derivative to start a WOMEN:SHOW US YOUR PUSSIES thread?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Appraise Your Genitals

My answer is there.

― LC, Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh, DB, where is it then?

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

don't blame me. blame the hoster who offered. i sent the pics. surely he will be back and host n' post em. (and surely the thread title will then have a new disclaimer to go with it, too... wudge wudge nink nink!)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas to thread.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

alright then... these were for a friend for her art project/installment last year. she's in o.c. i never got to see the installment, unfortunately, and it was part of a very large montage of photos of both men and women's privates. (thank you, hoster)

DISCLAIMER: FOLLOWING LINKS NOT WORK SAFE DUH!
====|)
======|)
=======|)
===|)

(links will probably expire in 30 days)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

DB wins.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm afraid my genitals are nowhere near as interesting as the ones DB posted. Sorry, humanity.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 11 March 2004 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't, it's covered in mustard.

― Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Thursday, 11 March 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

them penises are all cicumsised. how come?

― :|, Thursday, 11 March 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Let us be the judge Matos! Come on, whip it out!

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Thursday, 11 March 2004 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine looks like number 2

― LC, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean the second one donut posted, not like a piece of shit.

― LC, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

any other pierced heads here?

― hector (hector), Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.shaverfamily.org/photos/butter_small.jpg

― BUTTERBROT, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:38 (twenty-one years ago)

SHIT THAT OUT!!

― BUTTERBROT, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

is that vanila ice? yum.

― :|, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I heard the great thing about being a moyel is you get to keep the tips! Badabing, etc.

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 11 March 2004 06:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I think maybe I... won't click. Maybe. Yes, I think that would be best.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 March 2004 08:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas to thread.

My penis is uncircumcized, they don't do that in Finland. It's somewhat darker than the rest of my body, but I guess that's the case with most guys. In resting position it's rather small, but when erected it is of average size, and also quite thick, I think. It's quite hairy as well, I've been thinking about whether I should try to shave it, but I haven't had the guts to do that yet.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 March 2004 09:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Allegedly I have "admirable girth". Hmmm. Looks pretty normal to me, and i've been in many a communal shower in my time.

And now, to kill the thread, a picture:

http://www.lasguias.com/_contactos/destacado/2pollas/3.jpg

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

someone reads popbitch

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not normal, right?...otherwise there's something seriously wrong with mine...

xpost

― winterland, Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes I nicked it from PB, so sue me. But my, what a thoroughly remarkable "handicap"!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2000/20000922l.jpg

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 11 March 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I predict the first man to answer this seriously will be Skidmore.

I'm too late to be first at this, but I have a naked full-frontal pic of me that I am happy to send out if anyone has any interest. (I've only sent it to one ILXer so far!)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 11 March 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Krikey missus!

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine looks like a bonsai tree decked out in Christmas ornaments.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to do a Google image search for "evil penis" but then I remembered that I'm at work.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

well, I'm not at work so I did the work for you.. and here's the first image from Image Googling "evil penis":

http://www.connect.ab.ca/~hv42/bowling.jpg

...to which I'm afraid will kill this thread dead.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought for sure this was goint to be a c477Um thread

― kephm, Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

This was the fourth image btw:

http://www.ratatak.com/modules/images/spam.jpg

This was the seventh:

http://www.thedisseminatedgroup.com/cwgun.jpg

which originated from THIS page on low budj movie from the mid 80s Cocaine Wars.

Dan, it's really really disappointing over all. Trust me.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

This was the fourth image btw:

http://www.ratatak.com/modules/images/spam.jpg

This was the seventh:

http://www.thedisseminatedgroup.com/cwgun.jpg

which originated from THIS page on low budj movie from the mid 80s movie Cocaine Wars.

Dan, it's really really disappointing over all. Trust me.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(sorry)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I find what you're doing a good way to kill time this morning.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, trust me. it's a GREAT distraction.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, I promise I will keep the names of anyone who wants a naked pic of me secret!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Even if it's Ronan?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll have it on the front of the Daily Mail in 2 minutes.

FETISH FORUM PHOTOS. FEELS FUNNY.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

LESS BALK, MORE COCK. Sam's right...there's no real need to be squeamish about this.

Like Matos, mine's a bit darker than the surrounding skin, and while it doesn't curve to the left or the right, it does have a very slight twist counterclockwise looking from the top. Not sure whether that's weird or not.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 12 March 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.bensdeli.net/art/GGGArt/koshercdburst.gif

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 March 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

sean, that's rather odd. . .

Martin, don't let DB up you, post it here! crop yr head out and stuff if you want.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Friday, 12 March 2004 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I am an oddity! Time to join the circus!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 12 March 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

crop yr head out and stuff if you want.

I love the alternate semantics of this sentence. :)

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 12 March 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been thinking about whether I should try to shave it [his wang/balls], but I haven't had the guts to do that yet.

Don't do it! It hurts/stings/itches/feels funny and you don't want to put any aftershave on that shit. Guys don't shave yr junk! You won't comfortably masturbate for weeks!

(Now I am wondering if describing my schlong would've been less of an admission than the above)

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, there is this thing called a back, crack and sack-wax.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't that a tennis player? annette backcracknsack?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

annalise sorry

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:07 (twenty-one years ago)

194 answers, 3 of which are serious. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, there is this thing called a back, crack and sack-wax.

Intriguing...is there anesthesia availible?

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas' description could equally count for mine, if anyone's interested, which I doubt they are, except that mine isn't particularly dark. My balls are though.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

What's all this dark genitals nonsense? Where have you been sticking them? Or do you just sunbathe nude?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes nobbers are just a bit darker. nothing sinister

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, shut it, pale-cock.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

posh cock!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

posh wank

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, don't let DB up you, post it here! crop yr head out and stuff if you want.

I actually have nowhere to host it, and would not impose my body on people anyway, even just a pic. I've only had one person take me up on my offer so far!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

nickalicious is having us on. Everybody knows it's the LEFT nut that hangs lower!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 12 March 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, when I called you to thread, it wasn't so much for a description of your penis as it was that a friend of mine had just posted pictures of his penis and I thought it was an interesting situation compared to your "casual nudity among friends" thread (and sorry if you've been pegged as "Mr. Casual Nudity Among Friends"). This situation seems like it's a bit different (formal nudity?).

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

No problem, as I said on that other thread I find it no problem to appear nude, and I'd post a picture of my penis here if I'd own a camera and knew how to put pics on the InterWeb.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

annette backcracknsack?

From Hackensack, obv

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

???

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, see, and I'd look at your picture, T., but it would be entirely for prurient reasons.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 12 March 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

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