Boris Johnson - capital wheeze or intolerable buffoon?

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Go on. You knew it was coming.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Both!

Next!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt, he was playing table football in the pub under us on Thursday afternoon. Talk about bizarre.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually I have more proof on this but there is not enough space to write it here (ie I am going for a meeting!!!)

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Boris Johnson was in a pub frequented by dope-smoking motorbike couriers?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Correct. When I told Ed, he said BJ wouldn't have hassle from them because of his social libertarianism and support for cyclist issues, despite evil Toryness etc. At any rate he was there during a courier-free period.

Since even bad Tories can be funny on the spot and really know their Classics, he's got some redeeming qualities.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

he seems to have lost weight, he looked at least ten years younger (than he did ten years ago) on that John Wheeler documentary last night

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

My brother used to work at the Telegraph and saw quite a bit of Boris Johnson around the office. His act is not an act, apparently.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I SO wish the millennial NYE pic of The Guvner in Mrs Michael Jones' fluffy white hat existed somewhere on the interweb.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

you'd be a dead man if it did I bet

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh. My. God. I can see it in my mind's eye.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My work here is done.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

What RickyT said.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Charles Wheeler, steve.

i quite like boris, for a tory...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

also:

http://www.geocities.com/carsmilesteve/summerwasting/borisbilly.jpg

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

err, your picture there is *gone"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

??
i can see it...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not the real BJ, is it?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

said the actress to the bishop

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It's geocities, so take off the .jpg

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Suggs has looked better.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Flamin' Nora. Ooh that hat looks good. Where are they, the Cropredy Festival or summat?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Glastonbury, by the looks of things

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It would be funnier if it were folk.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it was the Tolpuddle Festival...

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god, you make me regret ever bringing him up... oh, the shame! This is worse than having to admit my salary!

― Psycho Kate (kate), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hang on a minute.... YOU FANCY BORIS JOHNSON?!!!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

?????!!!!!?!?!!!!!!!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Crush of shame!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

it's the indie barnet isn't it?

― ..., Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, I bow down. Never again will I be embarrassed by fancying Melvin Bragg.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

William Hague is so last week, now BORIS JOHNSON BUKKAKE is on everyone's lips

have a GREAT day everyone!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no. You've just reminded me of a horrible conversation from last night.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

the only thing i want to put into his mouth is an apple in that top picture

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was six, I had a wheeze. I had noticed that gumboots were impermeable to water from the outside, and deduced that they must also be impermeable from the inside. So my younger sister and I decided to fill up all the gumboots in the hall with water, and then watch some adult putting his or her foot in it.

The scheme was a triumph, and we were pursued around the garden by an adult armed with a stick - I am not exaggerating - as thick as your arm. We knew it would hurt; we knew we were for it in a big way. But our very terror reduced us to helpless and invertebrate laughter.

We both laughed so much that we couldn't run, and we sank to the grass at the bottom of the garden and were soundly and deservedly thrashed.

This is how he begins his column on the Passion of the Christ, the rest of which I can't be bothered to read. I get the feeling that if Boris was a cuddly liberal he would be my favourite person ever. Surely no one else still uses the phrase "humbug" in everyday discourse?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

bar the President of Nestle Rowntree you may be right

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

that would make a great advert for not beating your kids tho. DON'T TRY IT, OR THEY WILL END UP LIKE BORIS

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes Matt. I really want to like him, but the evil Toryness gets me every time.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

so we're agreed - he is a capital buffoon with an intolerable wheeze

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i secretly quite like him in spite of his toyness.

(i would have written that in small writing to show my shame but am not sure if we're allowed to do such html tricks anymore.)

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

err i mean toryness. ahem.

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

His Room 101 episode was great.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Anna OTM. Funny though he can be, I suspect he will wind up like that loathsome reactionary art critic, arg, I've forgotten his name, the one w/thee flutey voice, as he gets older.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you think we could kidnap him, brainwash him to be a cuddly liberal and then launch him back into society, fit to be a national treasure?

Pash: Brian Sewell?

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

brian sewell, ugh, yes.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Brian Sewell

he laughs like an effeminate schoolboy when he says bum or tits

― pete s, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

he is HORRIBLE.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

don't start with the Sewell.

I really want to fight him.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

not to mention the biggest rockist in history

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen a copy of Sewell's first book
It was about his travels
On the inside back cover, in his biog underneath all the life story stuff it said 'Brian Sewell lives with thre cats, and is a misogynist'.
I am not joking. This is what he asked his publisher to put on the jacket.

― pete s, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Brian Sewell = utterly repellent.
Boris Johnson = utterly butterly.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Plato is the biggest rockist in history, actually. (Though I would like to see a scrap between him and Sewell for the crown. It might even be more entertaining than the proposed N. vs Barry punchup.)

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

'three cats'

― pete s, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

bring me the head of Brian Sewell

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Sewell is an easy target. i quite like it when he slags off YBAs, however cynically/boringly.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

How about when he appears in the evening B@stard doing a double page spread on why he shouldn't get parking tickets?

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe he doesn't have a car?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

do not try it

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

He doesn't have a car because all the uncultured Northern types have nicked it, innit?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I'd like a liberal BJ.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

how about a socialist one?

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think that would work so well.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

don't look a gift horse in the mouth, nick.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, you've got to watch.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

One has to watch.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, I didn't really think you were bothered who it was.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

So who is this guy again?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

don't sweat it, ned; it's a british thing.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Amazing!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

MP for Henley, editor of the spectator, buffoon, cyclist, bletherer

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, he's 34th in line for the thrown.

I like him, I think he's okay.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

haha!!

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I love Boris. He made a very sensible point about people being penalised for talking on mobile phones while cycling or indeed driving - that is, one-armed people are allowed to drive and cycle, so what'd the difference? Bless him and his black-and-white thinking.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

but people have two arms.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

ONE ARMED PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO CYCLE?!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Only unicycles.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but they have to have a walkman on.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a lie.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

one legged people have to have a hopman on

― zappi (joni), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

It gives them the power of the hills.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not my fault. He was on Have I Got New For You one night when I was very drunk and everyone was ripping the piss out of him, and he just took it so... I don't know. With this strange mix of indignance and utter grace. I was just really amused by him. It was only later that I found out he was a Tory! Blame alcohol! And one-armed unicyclists!

― Psycho Kate (kate), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone is being too kind to the prat. He puts on this stupid posho-naive schoolboy act - and even if someone could prove that he still acts like that when he's alone in his bath doesn't mean that it's not an act, just that it's been ingrained in him from the days when he was probably someone's cute daffy junior fag at boarding school - and yet he is a fully grown middle-aged man, to all appearances.

It would be all right if he was just a quirky turn down the local pub, but this man is paid out of public money to be an MP and do a reponsible job, which - apart from the fact that he does that full-time job part-time while editing a magazine - I don't see that he can if he doesn't take anything seriously. I should think that when he does try to take anything seriously people laugh in his face, so you wouldn't really want him looking into rat infestation in your grandmother's council flat, or whatever, would you?

We are too forgiving of berks like this who treat public office as a joke; it is only tolerable to satirise from the outside. I might be doing this guy an injustice, but I have read Alan Clark's diaries, which showed that particular "loveable rogue" and "overgrown schoolboy" to have treated the office he held with total contempt. (I particularly remember one entry in which he boasted about how many bottles of wine he'd knocked back before stepping up to present a bill in the House of Commons.) Let such twats be dilettantes about town and I won't complain; but get someone responsible to do that sort of job, for crying out loud.

― Bunged Out (Jake Proudlock), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Excuse me if I am missing something, but if the way he behaves is the way he's always behaved, how is that an act?

I find him quite endearing, and refreshingly genuine to be honest. Kind of like what Kate said, but with no crush-ness involved.

I'm sure if he is crap at being an MP, then he will not be returned as an MP. And plenty of other MPs have interests outside of their political life.

Boris Johnston is an easy target by virtue of the fact that he is a high-profile Tory who sets himself up to be knocked down more often than not. But he's not that bad.

(disclaimer - this doesn't mean I would vote for him if he stood in my constituency)

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm sure if he is crap at being an MP, then he will not be returned as an MP."

In Henley it's a job for life.

― Bunged Out (Jake Proudlock), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Well. That's hardly his fault then, if he doesn't have to even make an effort to do his day job, you can't blame him for continuing to edit the Spectator in his spare time.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Most Tory MPs seem to have highly-paid, highly-responsible second jobs (see also Steve Norris's executive directorship at traincrash rail maintenance firm Jarvis). Do they ever do anything for their constituencies AT ALL?

The same could be said for Cabinet ministers as well... when was the last time Blair went to Sedgefield?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Under Johnson's editorship, the Spectator has become (even more)thuggishly right-wing - the fact that he continues to print Taki's vile racist rants every week is proof enough for me that his 'refreshingly genuine' Bertie Woosterisms are the polite public front for yet another poisonously reactionary upper class twit. Fuck him and the bike he rode in on. Bunged Up knows the score.

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Why on earth do you read The Spectator, Andrew?!?!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I get it for free, JTN. Outside of the LRB, it still has possibly the best arts pages of any mainstream UK mag, tho' again the arts coverage has noticeably declined during Johnson's editorship (Toby Young as theatre critic, no thanks).

My previous post was written late at night when I was tired and cranky and I apologise for the slightly bolshy tone - but I still think ppl are letting BJ off the hook too easily. Perhaps Suzy will know if the dirt abt BJ that Private Eye v. strongly hinted at a year or so ago is true or not...

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 07:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Since when did members of parliament ever do *anything* for their constituencies? Unless we're going back to puffin taxes on pork belly production in the 16th Century or something... sheesh.

A politician needs a gimmick to get you to even remember who he is. The difference between fancying a Tory and fancying a Republican is that no one actually takes the Tories seriously.

(Maybe I should read the Spectator and then I'd know what the freak I'm talking about, but he amuses me and that's as far as it goes. Ask me again when I've had some coffee.)

― Psycho Kate (kate), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 08:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"but I have read Alan Clark's diaries, which showed that particular "loveable rogue" and "overgrown schoolboy" to have treated the office he held with total contempt. (I particularly remember one entry in which he boasted about how many bottles of wine he'd knocked back before stepping up to present a bill in the House of Commons.) "

Strangely I've read the first volume of these and that's not the way it comes across at all, as he spends all his time trying to get the defence post as it's something he knows about and tries to get in there ahead of the accountants and various other beancounters that head office want to put in there.

I think Bunged out is pretty off the mark here.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

also, not wanting to come over all rory bremner but, since when has being an MP been a "full-time" job. more holidays than teachers, every friday and monday morning off, nothing starting before 10.30, piece of piss mate, it's not surprising boris/shagger etc get themselves something else to keep them busy...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 09:56 (twenty-one years ago)

and Kate, *some* MPs are very constituency friendly, usually they're the ones you don't hear about as they're not the ones staying in Central office all the time doing policy work and making the big speeches.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

see i don't hold with this, *someone* has to do the policy work and make the speeches. it doesn't necessarily hold that they are bad constituency MPs. lots of backbenchers sit on their arses doing sod all for country, party or constituency...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, if the ones that actually do do something for their consituency never get mentioned in the press, etc. thus supporting their political careers and campaigns, as opposed to the mouthy ones who do, well, what's the incentive?

― Psycho Kate (kate), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 10:04 (twenty-one years ago)

In my idealistic world Kate? A decent salary, a chance to influence the running of the country and the knowledge that you're doing a good job that just might make a difference.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Quoting from up the thread:

Chris replied:

I think Bunged out is pretty off the mark here.

But he more or less admits it himself. And even if you don't buy the idea that he was an irresponsible minister, you cannot have missed the open contempt he held for his Plymouth constituency, or that he almost never went there, or that he regarded his party workers there as morons and preferred eyeing up the crumpet there to attending meetings. I haven't got a copy of the book, but you'll find that stuff in the first volume.

The stuff about his admiration for Hitler - more schoolboy provocativeness than a deeply held belief, hopefully - and his antics over Matrix Churchill aren't in the diaries, to my knowledge; but there's been enough about those matters in the papers. Once again, I don't mind what these pillocks get up to, just that they do it under the auspices of public office.

My own MP, Paul Tyler, does good hard work for the constituency. Not only that, but he is stepping down at the next election because he is around retirement age, even though he doesn't have to. They all should do that, in my opinion. Blanket slagging off of MPs is unfair.

― Bunged Out (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I think a lot of the dislike within his constituency was pretty mutual, they didn't like him too much either (or rather that woman whose name I can't remember didn't anyway) and he was trying to wangle a constituency near him so he could campaign on issues such as the channel tunnel.

The diaries surprised me actually, I didn't know previously about his far rightedness, which saddened me. And also before I read the bbooks I had this image of him as a stron, loveable rogue, not the sad, hypochondriac compulsively gambling wastrel that he came out as

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Lovable rogue usually means 'rich cunt'. It's a bit like being a 'character' in football, which means you're bent and bunged up, so to speak.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Cheers.

― Bunged Out (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw the front page of the Spectator on the way into work this morning:

VICTORY FOR OLD BRITAIN

IRAQ HAS NEVER HAD IT SO GOOD

JUST HOW MODERATE IS THE BNP?

Ummm... this is some sort of hilarious parody, isn't it?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

makes me laugh

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Jewish woman agrees to be candidate for BMP

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Jewish woman agrees to be candidate for BNP

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Two bits I remember from the alan clarke diaries:

1/ clarke pondering on some problem or other - What would "hunter" have done? he wonders. There is an asterisk next to "hunter" The footnote reveals that "hunter" is clarke's pet name for hitler

2/ some admiration for p|nochet - some people protesting abt something, pinochet wd have known what to do abt the, something like that, clearly, I'll have to read it again.

Also, he FANCIED MARGARET THATCHER.

Alan Clarke's diaries are great, one of the best political books I've ever read, but part of the reason they're great is that they unstintingly reveal what kind of person he was - "interesting" in many ways, undoubtedly, but also a vile snob, and a frustrated authoritarian extremist. Rarely, whilst reading the book (which I enjoyed tremendously nevertheless) did I feel any sense of common humanity w/the fellow.

The spectator (which I pick up from time to time) is pretty repulsive stuff a lot of the time.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Fascism has always had those to say that the left are being frightfully boring banging on as they do about bloody rights and such like. Stop fussing and pass the port, what.

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

Boris Johnson is 40 today! I thought this was a missprint in the paper - the young fogey fooled me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 June 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

So Boris is sacked by the tories for lying about having "an affair" with his columnist, Petronella Wyatt.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/4010867.stm

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Sunday, 14 November 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Despite her column, who could resist a woman with the name Petronella?

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 14 November 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Indeed. The Tories are such idiots - easily their most popular MP, whatever has happened recently.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

No mention of Boris's Merseyside Shame on this thread.
Enjoyed seeing Ken Bigley's brother telling Bo' what a scumbag he was on the radio. The real villain in that story was Simon Heffer, the guy who actually wrote the column. Unlike Boris, he's
genuinely hateful, and could be dangerous. You'd never see him apologising for the shit he writes/says.

― Bumfluff, Sunday, 14 November 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I always enjoy reading this thread when it pops up from time to time. It's one of the best ones. The phrase "toby young as theatre critic, no thanks" stuck out this time. toby young as theatre critic!! Why??

I haven't read the Spectator in quite a long time, and I don't really give much of a shit about boris j either way these days, sad to say.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 14 November 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The continuing existence of Toby Young is somewhat baffling to me.

― RickyT (RickyT), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Toby Young's dad left him a Filofax and we're all paying for it now, aren't we?

A visiting NYILXor and I saw Boris yammering into a mobile phone just around the corner from the Spectator offices on Thursday; on Sunday I cross-referenced that with The Times' front page. He often plays table football surrounded by the crusty despatch riders downstairs in the pub under our flat.

PW is a lord's daughter and has a darker, more luxurious moustache than Frida Kahlo.
Whether true or not BJ has been teased for the possibility of moustache ride in Private Eye for ages.

― suzy (suzy), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw Boris yammering into a mobile phone too, that was in Highbury Fields, but impossible to reference with The Times as this happened a couple of months ago. He could have been yammering to his ass girl i guess.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 15 November 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Was discussing Boris in the pub following all this, and the fact he is 50-1 to be the next James Bond. We concluded that he would make a brilliant Q.

― 3underscore (___), Monday, 15 November 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

My own MP, Paul Tyler

Bunged out, if you still potter around ILE. Which part of N. Cornwall do you live in? Paul Tyler used to drink in the Welly in Boscastle back when I played pool in there. He is a good sort.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 15 November 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Worse, Toby Young as actor and playwright of his own one-man show. And in the meantime, the dynasties regenerate themselves and continue to run everything (Wyatt, Johnson, Coren). So much for Thatcherite ideas of meritocracy, for those silly enough to take them seriously.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 15 November 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

At least the Thatcher dynasty seems to have been nipped in the bud, though...

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 15 November 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Well yes, for that we must certainly be grateful.

Remember that, even though Heffer is a far-right nutbag, BJ still commissions and pays him to write these Spectator editorials.

Far be it, of course, for the party of Archer, Aitken, Clark and Hamilton to start taking moral stances with regard to their members (in both senses of the word, naturally)...they clearly wanted rid of him after the Bigley business and this was a convenient pretext.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 15 November 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The entertaining thing about the Bigley contretemps was that, a few phone in show nutters aside, the city of Liverpool largely didn't give a monkeys. Not that many takers for the Spectator up here, though it does still outsell the Sun

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 15 November 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

We concluded that he would make a brilliant Q.

Yes! Wonderful idea.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 15 November 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

he would make an even better clouseau.

― debden, Monday, 15 November 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40526000/jpg/_40526377_johnson_run203long.jpg

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 15 November 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

And in the meantime, the dynasties regenerate themselves and continue to run everything (Wyatt, Johnson, Coren).

Talking of dynasties, I never knew Boris was married (but for how much longer?) to Charles Wheeler's daughter!

― Ol' Dirty Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 15 November 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Aaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha... Even the Tories hate James C*nt (and the Kaiser Chefs...

It was like being drowned in molasses. It was like being hosed in treacle. I was lying in a state of after-lunch torpor while the eight-year-old was playing and replaying her favourite track, and through the door it stole, and up the bed and into my ear until it filled the fjords of my brain with such glutinous aspartame-flavoured schmaltz that at last I could take it no more and cried: "Enough!" James Blunt, I thought, it's time to get a grip! Come on, man: stop being so indescribably wet. If she's so beautiful, stop standing there in your T-shirt and floppy fringe, and hush your hopeless falsetto crooning.

Go out and get her, is my advice, and if James Blunt seems drippy next to the rock stars of the good old days, he is positively macho by comparison with the Kaiser Chiefs. These are the weeds from Leeds whose hit single was I predict a riot, a tale about the bourgeois apprehension of a chap who tries to get a taxi on a Saturday night in the centre of town.

"Watching the people get lairy/It's not very pretty I tell thee./ Walking through town is quite scary/And not very sensible either," sing these epic softies. Then the chap meets another chap in a tracksuit, who looks as though he might offer violence, but doesn't, and that's about it. It's pathetic!

When I was a nipper it was standard practice for a rock star to start the evening by biting the head off a pigeon and throwing the television out of the window before electrocuting his girlfriend in the bath and almost drowning in a cocktail of whisky, heroin and his own vomit. The self-respecting British punk rockers didn't get up on stage and start whimpering about how they predicted a riot. They incited riots. "White riot, I want a riot, white riot, a riot of my own," they sang, if my memory serves me correctly.

Let's face it, the rock star role models of yesterday were far more thuggish, brutal and in-yer-face than the rock stars of today, most of whom are almost embarrassing in their niceness; and if one thinks back to the 1970s and 1980s, it is clear that the riots were nastier, too. I make this elementary observation, because we are once again being invited to have hysterics about the yoof of today, and yob culture, and once again Tony Blair presents himself to us as the father of the nation, pater patriae, the man who is figuratively going to put the offending yobbos over his knee and give them a damn good hiding on behalf of us all. .

― Disciplining And Controlling My Mind (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

Had to get a bit of latin in there.

― Masked Gazza, Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

These are the weeds from Leeds whose hit single was I predict a riot, a tale about the bourgeois apprehension of a chap who tries to get a taxi on a Saturday night in the centre of town.

gold

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

I love him. I want to bear his Tory babies.

― Disciplining And Controlling My Mind (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

"floppy fringe" – reprehensible indeed

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

I met him once. Can't say I was particularly impressed. The exaggerated public schoolboy persona plays well in the media but is less pleasant up close.

― jz, Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:19 (nineteen years ago)

Why, as any self respecting Johnson knows, fringes were designed to stick alarmingly into the air at jaunty angles, not flop about hopelessly and wetly.

x-post

― Disciplining And Controlling My Mind (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:19 (nineteen years ago)

So are johnsons

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

I regret posting that

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Do *not* start me thinking about Boris Johnson's johnson, you wicked, wicked, man.

― hush your hopeless falsetto crooning (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

I met a certain Hush Puppy-wearing rotund former chancellor once, and he told me about a drinking contest he had with Boris. Apparently he's an utter lightweight compared to the Rushcliffe MP. Still sounds like a top evening out, though.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:30 (nineteen years ago)

That Kaiser Chiefs skit! Boris is God.

― Latin Routes (noodle vague), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

was boris the first person to realise that the kaiser chiefs are drips then?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

No, but he rubbished them so eloquently.

― Latin Routes (noodle vague), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

No, there was a John Snow sketch on the subject during that horrible End Of The Year quiz that Emsk and The Russian made us watch.

But NV is right. When Boris rubbishes someone, they stay rubbished.

― hush your hopeless falsetto crooning (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

But what happens when people rubbish Boris?

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

They are crushed beneath the overwhelming capitalness of teh Almighty Boris.

― hush your hopeless falsetto crooning (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

He's been listening to Parsons and Burchill too much.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Holding up The Clash as more thuggish, brutal and in-yer-face doesn't really work for me.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

...but that's part of why it is SO FUNNY!!!

― filled the fjords of my brain (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.highroadtouring.com/artists/thekaiserchiefs/gallery/promo/kaiserchiefs2.jpg

L-R: Rick Buckler, Eddie Izzard, Richard Butler, Barry Cunthat, Dennis Twatperm

― Latin Routes (noodle vague), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sorry, I could not let their ugly, wet mugs go on being the last post on this thread. I was sick of looking at them in New Answers.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/piedude/BorisBadger.jpg

Aaaah, much better.

― filled the fjords of my brain (kate), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

From Wikipedia: "Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (born 19 June 1964 in New York City)".

From Wikiquote:

The Tory Party - the funkiest, most jiving Party on Earth!

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3

I'm kicking off my diet with cheeseburger — whatever Jamie Oliver says McDonalds are incredibly nutritious and, as far as I can tell, crammed full of vital nutrients and rigid with goodness. (While campaigning at McDonalds in Botley, Oxford, May 2005)

I advise you all very strongly - go for a run, get some exercise, and have a beautiful day.

― Mike W (caek), Saturday, 28 January 2006 01:10 (nineteen years ago)

From the evidence of Private Eye this week it appears that Johnson ripped off that entire quote abt the Kaiser Chiefs from an old article in the Spectator written by some other hack - stealing from yr own freelancers, what a twisting thieving tory scumbag he is

― Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Saturday, 28 January 2006 04:11 (nineteen years ago)

In fairness, it's not as damning as the usual PE copying story, it's clearly just the "Contrast 'I Predict a Riot' with 'White Riot'" idea that he's ripped off, all the surrounding huffing and puffing is his own work. It does answer the obvious question regarding why Boris is talking about this now rather than 4 months ago.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 28 January 2006 11:57 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Johnson & The Dream Of Rome is one of the better TV programme titles I have seen in a while.

His narration style and Italian are good.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Sunday, 29 January 2006 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

I noticed the announcer was very careful to point out that when it was recorded he wasn't a Tory shadow-minister.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Sunday, 29 January 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

I suppose the political bias that Boris brought to bear shouldn't be surprising. When a historian told him that the Roman Empire had minimal central bureaucracy, he was practically exploding with glee.

The general point seems to be: everything the Romans did was great! And everything the EU does is rubbish! Therefore it is vital that we explain how everything they do is different!

(more specifically: the Roman empire had minimal, decentralised government but centralised allegience, which is a Good Thing. The EU has a large, centralised bureaucracy but nothing to make us feel European, therefore it is a Bad Thing)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Sunday, 29 January 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

Like anything involving Boris, I found myself completely charmed by it despite my better judgement. He's a good presenter.

― chap who would dare to no longer work for the man (chap), Sunday, 29 January 2006 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

I was going to ask if anyone had actually managed to catch it...

And if anyone managed to tape/DVD it? Please?

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

"When Augustus was in trouble he'd say "Get Agrippa""

... that joke was so bad Boris than I (or even ken c) could have said it

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

The Romans actually had COOL STUFF to offer their dependant states, like, you know, Aquaducts and good roads and central heating and technology.

What has the EU given us except regulations about the stinkiness of farmyards? (Sorry, I have actually been reading B's book, which has me sputtering with rage at points, even though he is very funny.)

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 11:58 (nineteen years ago)

I am working on this!

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 12:01 (nineteen years ago)

(The tape, that is)

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 12:01 (nineteen years ago)

The Roman Empire might have briefly been relatively free from central bureaucracy. By the start of the 4th century AD it was dying from the weight of its bureaucratic institutions. The Western Empire then began to decentralise as it fell to pieces. The Eastern Empire gave us "Byzantine" as an adjective: so much for freedom from bureaucracy.

Debates about the usefulness and efficiency of the EU need to be had: pretending that the EU somehow imposes its will on the UK when we are free to leave at any time and maintain membership because successive governments have judged it to be in their best interests is silly, and deliberately misleading.

― The Man in the Iron-On Mask (noodle vague), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

"silly, and deliberately misleading" is basically Boris's metier, is the thing. That and trying to convince us that he's too thick to be deliberate.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

I've always tried to convince myself "but he's not *really* a Tory... or at least he's not really an *evil* Tory..." but then the first few pages of his book he started going on about how beautiful Margaret Thatcher was and I just went ICK ICK ICK and for a moment, my devotion was shaken.

But now it's more like the wishing for a grudge f*ck and all, "oh, I could change his mind... etc."

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Boris just loves Berlusconi's sense of humour:

Did you hear the Berlusconi joke about the man with Aids, whose doctor told him to take a mud-bath? "It won't cure you," said the doctor, "but you'll get used to being buried."

What an all-round ~~great guy~~utter cunt

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe you should read the article more carefully, paying attention to the bits I've bolded below:

Now, if a British MP had used that joke, publicly or privately, it would, without question, have been the end of his or her career. It is tasteless in the extreme and politically incorrect to the point of insanity. I can imagine that sensitive readers will be shuddering with amazement.

But Berlusconi not only said it: he repeated it, and then said that his critics deserved to be buried themselves for their sense of humour failure.

He said that he had used his "playboy skills" to persuade the Finnish president, Tarja Halonen, to allow the European Food Standards Agency to be located in Italy, an analysis that so offended the feminist Finns that there was a diplomatic crisis.

And there is more. I do not defend his jokes, but they help to make him fallible and human, and to explain his popularity. I cannot help hoping that this peacock will be given one last chance to convert his outrageousness into real political bravery, and reform the Italian economy; and, if he fails, then by all means put him on trial.

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

Berlusconi has his faults, but dullness isn't one of them

funny, this is the same argument people use to defend Boris.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

Last week I met with Derek Twigg, the Transport Minister. I was joined at that meeting by Richard Benyon MP and Adam Afriyie MP (Windsor). Boris Johnson MP was unable to be with us.

This is from my latest love letter from Theresa May.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

Yes I read it Kate; my reaction to cunts like Berlusconi, and to individuals who make such jokes is sonmewhat less subtle than Boris. But such toleration of deep and abiding cuntishness is what makes Boris the all-round cheeky chap he is eh?

Let's look - he says: "I can imagine that sensitive readers will be shuddering with amazement." = I'm not sensitive like these wimps who get offended by jokes about people with AIDS dying. Not a ruddy cheeked outdoors kindafella like me.

I'm also told Boris is clever; I'd suggest that thinking Berlusconi will do anything other than reform the Italian economy to further his own interests makes him a thick as a large bucket of congealed pigshit.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

I don't seriously think that he intends 'politically incorrect' to be seen as a reproof.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

I expect BJ would have written the same sort of article about Mussolini in 1936.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

You really want a world full of Polly Toynbees?

― Charles Dexter (Holey), Thursday, 9 March 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

I think it would be better than one full of Berlusconis

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 9 March 2006 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

That's why there's chocolate, vanilla *and* True Blue. :-P

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Thursday, 9 March 2006 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

A plague on both their worlds (xpost)

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 9 March 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

Ah yes, Polly "As I rodded and whipped my valet on the fourth floor of my six-storey Clapham townhouse one fine midsummer e'en, I pondered on the ghastly subhuman lives which our less fortunate denizens are compelled to inhabit by the pitiless thong of market forces, and thus opted to clean the toilet that night for a change, to see how the lower orders felt, can you lend me a fiver 'til Friday Tessa?" Toynbee.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 08:33 (nineteen years ago)

Nightmare passport application.

― Masked Gazza, Friday, 10 March 2006 08:40 (nineteen years ago)

johnson > toynbee

i mean, *as writers*.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Well Hitler could paint better watercolours than I can

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:11 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.maj.com/gallery/mjjordan/TFshops/godwin.jpg

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:12 (nineteen years ago)

"Hitler vas bedda looking than Churchill, he vas a better dancer than Churchill.... Charrrrrrrrrrrrchill! He couldn't even say Nazis! He vould say Nawwwwwwwwwzzzees, ve vasn't Nawzees, VE VAS NAZIS!! Charchill!!!!"

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:15 (nineteen years ago)

A whole apartment in one afternoon. Two coats!

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

Get one new metaphor, please.

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

Berlusconi looks like he might conceivably be the kind of person who might consider being a fascist-style dictator if the circumstances were right. (note: I have no evidence for this.)

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

well, he IS Italian...

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

fascism isn't great for business, in many ways. i mean, you can imagine him wanted to stomp on organized labour, but invading places, trying to set up an empire? why bother.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

don't try it...

(xpost)

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

why bother.

everybody else was doing it...

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

It's like interweb mentalists have a lack of perspective or something! I mean, it's totally obvious that a columnist in the Guardian is the moral equivalent of a billionaire extreme-rightwinger who invited fascists into his government and rewrote many laws to prevent him from being prosecuted for his many crimes committed in the course of both amassing his 'fortune' and using that to gain political influence.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 10 March 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

Particularly when one of the contributors to said "fortune" is married to the Guardian editor's next-door neighbour!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

In the sense that he doesn't have any qualms about ignoring the law/constitution to enable him to squeeze as much money out of his time in public life – so no checks and balances. In the modern EU that can't happen completely, but he'd basically do whatever he fancied if he could. I don't mean he'd resurrect the Fascist party.
xposts

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

pwnedville, pop. dave

xpost

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, it's totally obvious that a columnist in the Guardian is the moral equivalent of a billionaire extreme-rightwinger who invited fascists into his government and rewrote many laws to prevent him from being prosecuted for his many crimes committed in the course of both amassing his 'fortune' and using that to gain political influence.

You've persuaded me. I will never read Polly Toynbee again.

― narcissistic small difference, Friday, 10 March 2006 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

I will never start reading Polly Toynbee

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

The day when Polly Toynbee starts up her own Forza Inglaterra party cannot be far off. Give Berlusconi a job at the Guardian I say.

― narcissistic small difference, Friday, 10 March 2006 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

Forza Ing-er-land surely?

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

There is not enough Boris on this thread any more.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2005/03/31/newlabour/uboris.jpg

HOTTTTT!!!

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/borisjohnsonfanclub/hignfy/cap272.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

THE FULL DOUBLE JOHNSON MANOUVER!!!

http://www.channel4.com/news/media/2005/04/week_3/22_johnson_350.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:13 (nineteen years ago)

Meanwhile, Ms Toynbee awaits the third Mike Skinner album with interest:

http://www.livingstreets.org.uk/pics/images/17-l.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:14 (nineteen years ago)

This thread is burning my eyes.

― robster (robster), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

"Talk to the hand muthafuckas" (xpost)

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

glad i turned images off long ago

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

If Polly wants to be dictator, she needs to work on her salute. That one's weak.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

Alas, as I am now once again spoken for, I cannot persist with my particular fascist crush of shame, viz.:-

http://www.camdennewjournal.co.uk/080405/images080405/cn07-1.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:21 (nineteen years ago)

I'll stick to Cheryl Tweedy and Dannii Minogue............ that sounds a bit odd

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:23 (nineteen years ago)

To tilt the balance (and please Dadaismus), a long-standing and more than welcome left-wing crush:

http://www.rerusa.com/images/categories/lindsayCooper.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:32 (nineteen years ago)

Is that a contrabassoon in your hand or are you just etc etc etc

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

Not exactly a fascist crush of shame, but y'know:
http://static.flickr.com/8/12706037_bf893e4db2.jpg

― Charles Dexter (Holey), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

What does any of this have to do with Boris Johnson?

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:47 (nineteen years ago)

Something about having embarrassing crushes on right wing buffoons perhaps?

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

As it happens, our Kirstie came out for the Tories at a rally in Leeds yesterday...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 11:50 (nineteen years ago)

Hardly surprising, is it? Everything she says is Tory - investment, potential, investment potential, good area, good school, commute, City, busy road, garden, busy lifestyle, dream life in the country, jam doughnut.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

Well, I'm sold (mainly on the jam doughnut).

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

Who is she?

― Dave Massingbird (daveb), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

She presents Location Location Location Location or whatever it's called now on C4.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

the four most inmportant things

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

Everything she says is Tory - investment, potential, investment potential, good area, good school, commute, City, busy road, garden, busy lifestyle

New Labour surely?

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

Why does everybody in that programme live in Fulham and/or Putney (usually both) or is that a question whose asking is needless?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

They live there, but they want to live in the country, until they realise it has cow poo.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, you are right, Rotatey Whiskers, it is New Labour too.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

And the Liberal Democrats too, let's face it

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

Kirsty's Daddy is a Lord and the chairman of Christies. She was born wearing an Alice band according to peers at Bedales/Roedean. Tory.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

So who will save us from this torturous regime hellbent on investment, potential and jam doughnuts?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

[heavy img spam removed]

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

[heavy img spam removed]

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

[heavy img spam removed]

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

[heavy img spam removed]

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

i just did something in a staff meeting that dave wd have approved of!

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.el-mundo.es/papel/2004/11/15/Library/15ultima.jpg

Boris Johnson, blessing us with his divinity...

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.npg.org.uk/live/OC_Data/images/weblg/1/8/mw56418.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Oh nos image spamming kate = noize!

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

If only I had photoshop on this machine...

http://images.thisislondon.co.uk/v2/life&style/fortierSTblunkett160804_145x120.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Johnson, in 20 years' time.

http://gfx.dagbladet.no/pub/artikkel/4/44/448/448405/MikeLoveAPXcopy.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, those puppydog eyes:

http://www.newsandstar.co.uk/images/articles/fixed/150/0/20059622192824.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Johnson, plus puppy:

http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/_images/db/15/89/09_boris.158958.full.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.boriswatch.com/images/bannerleft.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Johnson, in 30 years' time.

http://www.area5.co.uk/summer-wine/images/smiler.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

the img spam is pathetic. get a fucking grip.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

Sweaty double Johnson:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/election2005/archives/archives/johnsonsArglesblog.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

Raving Boris:

http://www.studentnewspaper.org/news/05-06/issue14/boris.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Hungover Boris, the night after:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41105000/jpg/_41105848_johnson.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

HOW INTERESTING

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Shocked!

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41325000/jpg/_41325992_johnson_pa203body.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

If you don't want to keep seeing pictures of BORIS JOHNSON then stop clicking on the BORIS JOHNSON thread! I'm certainly more on topic than endless discussions of Kirstie Allsop, who already has her own thread elsewhere.

Now back to the Boris, already in progress.

http://www.abilitynet.org.uk/content/oneoffs/nuala-and-boris.jpg2

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Johnson, 70 years ago.

http://www.axishistory.com/fileadmin/user_upload/b/buf-oswald-mosley-book.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

Let Boris eat cake!

http://www.samizdata.net/blog/~pdeh/Boris_cake.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

I don't have to see them, I turned images off long ago.

How do you explain spamming this thread as you just did? Only you give a shit if threads go a little off-topic now and then (as they are wont to do quite naturally).

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

I'd rather read thoughtful discussion of Johnson's pros/cons/antics than just an endless barrage of stupid pictures without comment bar the subtext 'oooh i'd love to have it off with him in case it wasn't already overstated beyond parody'.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

Boris Johnson - capital wheeze or intolerable buffoon (a new thread)

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.billmundy.abelvisp.co.uk/latestpics/Boris%20-%20WITHFRAME.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

aja/d

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

How can I be spamming when I'm the only person here who's ON TOPIC? Do you know how irritating it is to see a thread you're interested in acrew 50 new answers, and NOT ONE OF THEM is about what you're interested in? We stopped talking about Boris and went into "blah blah Kirstie Alsop" about 50 posts ago.

Do you GET THE POINT? Boris does here.

http://www.nigelhaversalliance.com/pics/borispoint2.jpeg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

Now one more, the best one yet:

http://www.wibbler.com/boriswatch/uploads/boriswallpaper2.jpg

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

How can I be spamming

Because you idiotically post the same picture over and over again in one post.

You're not talking about him, you're just posting pictures because you're annoyed that other people are criticising him or straying into other areas (OH CALAMITY).

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

How can I be spamming

Posting multiple copies of the same image is known as image spamming. I thought you'd know that since you complained about every other instance of it on any thread ever.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

Well, no one ever did anything about that. What's sauce for Jon Williams is sauce for me. Now fuck off, you're being greater fascists than the entire Tory party put together.

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

You're the biggest fascist on ILX.

I expect if someone went and posted endless pictures of watercoolers on 'your' thread there'd be uproar too - but hey it would still be on topic right?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

OOH GOOD IDEA

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

You're a fucking idiot, as you always have been. Go flush your head down the toilet. Life's too short to waste my time arguing with you any more.

― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

http://outsiders.cocolog-nifty.com/long_tail/images/watercooler.jpg

sup homies

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

boris johnson is a dick

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

a dick
a dick
a dick
a dick
a dick
[mod edit: carries on for a bit]

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

You're a fucking idiot, as you always have been. Go flush your head down the toilet. Life's too short to waste my time arguing with you any more.

You cannot argue effectively here so are reduced to abuse once again. Oh well.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

DELETE ILX

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

We should post the pictures of some dead Liverpool fans in this thread just to get Kate really hot.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

DELETE THIS, STEVEM!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE AN UTTER DOLT!

― god you're a fucking idiot, Friday, 10 March 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

DELETE THIS, STEVEM!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE AN UTTER DOLT!

― HAVE FUN, Friday, 10 March 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

aja/d

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

You two are just joking, right?

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

I think I should go and walk around the block for a bit, I'm kind of worried about how I feel right now.
-- Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (masonicboom@yahoo.co.uk), March 10th, 2006.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, I feel really unwell now, like I've taken some kind of awful drug. I am not eating refined sugar in that quantity ever again. I wonder if I might be hypoglycaemic or if this is actually the normal reaction to sugar if you're unused to it.
-- Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (masonicboom@yahoo.co.uk), March 10th, 2006.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/640/justgoodfriends_1.jpg

Left to right: Kate, Stevem

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

If only I possessed Paul Nicholas's formidable comic timing.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/georgeandmildred.jpg

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.tv-series-on-dvd.com/cover/twos-company.jpg

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

http://victorian.fortunecity.com/crescent/503/joanie.jpg

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

ihttp://www.spun.com/amgcover/dvd/full/t1/50/t15042hy1vj.jpg

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

ihttp://tvmusic.topcities.com/graphics/2whosboss1.jpg

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.visimag.com/tvzone/images/t151_cont_fawlty.jpg

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

Madam you go too far!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

http://coverart.last.fm/300x300/1417088.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.elmwoodmagic.com/ama/med/enforcer.jpg

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.betsyda.com/pictures/tv/goldblend/gbfront.jpg

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.google.co.uk/url?q=http://www.geocities.com/hatredsucks/hackers.jpg

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.foto-fanatics.com/products/2029.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

plz give this to aja and dante it will be treasured like the precious jewel that it is

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

you are all OFF-TOPIC SCUM

― Colonel Doddzenheim (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

Post something "interesting" about Boris Johnson, such as his unexplained absence from an important meeting with the transport secretary, and there will be no engagement of any kind.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

democracy is cumbling!

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

"When Conrad Black gave me the editorship in the summer of 1999, he said he wanted the magazine to be more talked about. I believe we have discharged that obligation beyond his wildest dreams."

Presumably Cameron appointed Johnson back to the front bench for the same reason - just to get people talking about them more?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

indubitably

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

"So Boris, what qualifications do you have to be Shadow Higher Education Minister?"

"Well I did go to Eton."

"Perfect!"

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.usatoday.com/life/gallery/queen/thatcher.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

or:

Presumably ~~Cameron~~the tories appointed ~~Johnson~~cameron ~~back to the front bench~~ to be leader for the same reason - just to get people talking about them more?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

Johnson should hook up with ol' Charlie Kennedy and form a Skinner and Baddiel style comedy act.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

yes but his youth and Blair-esqueness surely pivotal. (xpost)

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

johnson has youth.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

The idea being that Cameron and Co. will be the necessary antidote to what the Tories are presuming will be at least two years of Gordon Brown's dour Presbyterian bean counting by the time of the next election so they can cruise to a victory on a let's-party-again platform.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.league.uk.com/politics/Charles_Kennedy.jpg

"Ah'm no hookin' up wi' that Boris Johnson fella, ah've goat mah wee pal Liam Fox tae keep me comp'ny"

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

i seriously wouldn't be surprised if they won next time. and carmody is right: james blunt is the writing on the wall.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

well I don't want to get into the habit of defending the Conservative Party's choice of leader. that'd be AWFUL!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

i fear for gordon brown

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

I'll be suprised if they DON'T win the next election!

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

They're obviously not too concerned about Liverpool, or anyone with a memory.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

The Tories' hope for the electorate: i fear ~~for~~ gordon brown

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

From Wikipedia: "Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (born 19 June 1964 in New York City)".

Pfeffel?

http://www.geocities.com/enchantedforest/2372/Fievel.jpg

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

i don't think anyone fears gordon brown but probably just think he's too much of a subserviant drip to lead a country.

that's how i'd try and make people think if i'm a tory campaign person

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

They're obviously not too concerned about Liverpool, or anyone with a memory.
-- PJ Miller (pjmiller6...), March 10th, 2006.

a keen insight into tory strategy! i can't remember the fuss, tbh, something like boris saying 'liverpudlians bear terrible grudges'.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

That posh minister's son from Fife is far too Scottish

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

I can't remember either, but I can remember that bloke telling him to "get out of public life".

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

I found the thing about Heseltine returning to Liverpool the other day, reflecting on what he supposedly did to boost the area in the early 80s, an eye-opener though. Esp. the dubious quote from Thatcher dismissing his efforts saying 'Liverpool has defeated better men than Michael Heseltine'. Charming!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

Clearly Johnson is too vapid and banal a subject to sustain a thread this long without deviation!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:18 (nineteen years ago)

Other Tories not too concerned about Liverpool: Cilla Black, Jimmy Tarbuck, Ken Dodd, the late Kenny Everett...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:18 (nineteen years ago)

i can't believe you didn't mention lennon there.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:20 (nineteen years ago)

Well, anyway, back to Kirstie Allsopp and jam doughnuts...

― Charles Dexter (Holey), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

i'm not feeling her, gotta say.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

Hide images duly turned on.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

Aye, that Fievel thing was the last straw.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, I've finally removed the spam now.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

apologies for causing offence with the fievel pic - posted after i saw the pfeffel quote, without reading the rest of the thread, thus it wasn't meant as a comment upon/contribution to what happened to the thread, but rather just because the name 'pfeffer' struck me as odd.

its been a long year...

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

'pfeffel'.

i go now.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4970948.stm

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 06:04 (nineteen years ago)

So what are his views on the public sector, the crime rate and immigration on this election day?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 May 2006 06:46 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2006/05/04/nboris04.jpg

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 May 2006 06:55 (nineteen years ago)

Xpost

He's not allowed to say until the polls close. You've gotta love the Representation of the People Act .

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:01 (nineteen years ago)

lol richard ashcroft amirite?

― the Enrique who acts like some kind of good taste gestapo (Enrique), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:05 (nineteen years ago)

I am unsure of Mr Johnson's views on 1974-style soft rock.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:20 (nineteen years ago)

He says the Clash are jolly good, if I remember correctly.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:24 (nineteen years ago)

Richard Ashcroft was playing for England. Boris is flattening Maurizio Gaudino, sometime Man City star, who was once accused of leading a gang of stolen-goods handlers.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:25 (nineteen years ago)

that was an amazing tackle

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:26 (nineteen years ago)

No doubt Arsene Wenger would say he didn't see the incident.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:27 (nineteen years ago)

Most entertaining bit of footy I've seen in a while, that. And Boris Johnson was much more use than Richard Ashcroft last night.
John Barnes has turned into Mr Greedy.

― David Orton (scarlet), Thursday, 4 May 2006 08:29 (nineteen years ago)

the power of the internet

moving images

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA

― secondhandnews (secondhandnews), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't been able to stop playing that video. This may well be the funniest thing I have EVER seen.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

he reminds me more than ever of the Honey Monster.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

Did he get sent off?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

So... tolerable buffoon it would appear?

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

Is this going to upset a football hating Boris Johnson lover?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

no i think Petronella Wyatt will be okay with it.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

And Anna Fazackerley?

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Best of all is the OH HEAVENS! gesture when BJ sees the German crumpled over his ain groinage in agony.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

Playing that German onside for the 4th goal was the bigger crime in my book

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/05/04/nboris04.xml

"There was no malice in my actions. I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move."

Er, the ball was on thr ground Boris...

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

"I was going for the balls with my head"

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

a little reminiscent of Boli vs Psycho.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

"There was no malice in my actions. I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move."

Haw haw. It reminds me of the interview with his father, where he's driving up towards a roundabout.

Father Johnson: "Now my wife has a theory about these things, never can remember it, of course it's the other way around in Belgium..." (pulls out into three lanes of oncoming traffic)

Interviewer: "Is it, er, 'yield to the right'?"

Father Johnson: (bangs steering wheel) "That's it exactly!" (waves a general thank you to the cars that have emergency stopped around him)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

This short quote from a recent piece by him about falling off his bike in the Guardian shows what I find most irritating about him:

"I went for a terrific burton, winding up for a couple of hours in Guy's & St Thomas's (marvellous, marvellous) and with my beautiful £700 bike all bent out of shape."

It's that "marvellous, marvellous" that's so annoying. It's so offhand, insincere, insulting - "I've just mentioned an NHS hospital, so I'd better say something good about it, but I can't be bothered (or haven't the capacity) to do it properly".

Everything about him says it's politics as a game, an extention of the Debating Society at school (Eton, Oxbridge, what next? oh Westminster looks fun). He'll always be described as a great character but wtf will he ever do to improve the lives of his constituents?

Having said that, I'd rather sit next to him at a dinner party than Ruth Kelly, just so long as I could keep him off politics

― bham (bham), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno, he looks like the kind of guy who might spit his food about.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

Now Boris offends all of Papua New Guinea.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

Further and further towards the intolerable buffoon stage.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

Patronising apology, ugh

"I meant no insult to the people of Papua New Guinea who I'm sure lead lives of blameless bourgeois domesticity in common with the rest of us.

"My remarks were inspired by a Time Life book I have which does indeed show relatively recent photos of Papua New Guinean tribes engaged in warfare, and I'm fairly certain that cannibalism was involved.

"I'd be happy to show the book to the High Commissioner but I'm of course also very happy to take up her kind invite and add Papua New Guinea to my global itinerary of apology."

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

Bwah hah hah, oh come on...

"I meant no insult to the people of Papua New Guinea who I'm sure lead lives of blameless bourgeois domesticity in common with the rest of us.

That's more of a backhanded insult than comparing them to Tories!

― Angel In Love With Her Own Pedals (kate), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

Some of us here in the UK are cannibals too, bet he never thought of that

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

Good old BoJo back at it again... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5402100.stm still at least it's funny when he's not in government.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

"I say let people eat what they like. Why shouldn't they push pies through the railings?,"

okay i love this part.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

errr but he would ban sweets? fucking nazi.

― the classic sounds of the seventh of january 1998 (Enrique), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, that loveable old pie-eater. He's right you know. If he wants to bounce his children around in the front of his sportscar while he pays as much regard to traffic regulations as his father, well, less future Tories that way!

Wait, did I say that? Argh! No! How awful. Wait, never apologise, never explain. I said just that and I'm sticking to it.

― Virginia Plainsong (kate), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

At least Boris always makes me smile:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5405498.stm

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

see, i don't want my elected representatives - or even other people's elected representatives - to make me smile, or be "fun". i want them to have great ideas to make the UK a better place.

that, admittedly, is a lot to ask. so most of the time i'd settle for them not being utter, utter tossbags. sadly - sorry, kate! - oor bozza fails spectacularly on that front too :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

he needs to get out of politics and stick to TV presenting.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

only problem with that is that even more people might listen to his drivelly outpourings and take them seriously :(

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

but yes, it'd be a start.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...

" I'll tell you why women are running out of men to marry..."

My favorite bit:

Speaking as an ardent feminist

Which inevitably makes me think of Neil's dad on The Young Ones explaining why he wants to care for Felicity Kendall.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:25 (eighteen years ago)

God, what a depressing article.

A recent study shows that if a man's IQ rises by 16 points, his chances of marrying increase by 35 per cent; if a woman's IQ rises by 16 points, her chances of getting hitched decline by the same amount.

What on earth is he proposing to do about it, though?

― I Am Totally Radioactive! (kate), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:29 (eighteen years ago)

Have as many mistresses as possible, so he can impregnate all us rising-40 middle class educated ladies who haven't found husbands?

― I Am Totally Radioactive! (kate), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:29 (eighteen years ago)

This is the idiot MP who was all about computer games rotting your BRANE, right?

― kingfishy (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

five months pass...

So another four years of Ken, then.

― Hello Sunshine, Monday, 16 July 2007 09:02 (eighteen years ago)

Ken vs. Boris: It's So On

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 16 July 2007 09:13 (eighteen years ago)

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