This is the thread where you call somebody random a cockfarmer in the knowledge that sooner or later they will Google their name and find it.

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Michael Gove is a cockfarmer.

― Tom, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hugh Bolton is a cockfarmer.

― Tom, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David Hasslehoff makes AOR dork music for Germans. David Hasslehoff U R a cockfarmer!

― DJ Martian, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Osama bin Laden. Go ahead, send me some anthrax!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

John Ashcroft is not so much a cockfarmer as a grinning idiot, the more dangerous because he has some feral cunning.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe I should write down the name of every Repugnant office holder. Though "cockfarmer" is much less incendiary a word than the ones I'd normally use when talking about Republicans.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Chuck Knoblauch = cockfarmer

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bobby Valentine.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oooh! This is a great idea! Okay: Adrienne Sklaroff is a cockfarmer, Adam Huckle is a cockfarmer, Parisa Bassim is a cockfarmer, Mary Hunt is a cockfarmer, Oscar Gonzales is a cockfarmer, David Krieger is a cockfarmer... and a dickhead, Nelson Taxell is a cockfarmer and a lucky dope. Both of 'em inherited their money and are strange little men, almost completely inept, but their inherent greed and inability to embarrass themselves no matter how low they crawl seem to work in their favor. Stanley Hochstadt is a cockfarmer. That was fun.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fred Durst is a cock farmer

― di, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd understand your vitriol more, Nude Spock, if I knew who the hell your targets were. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's the point, Ned! This thread is a sleeper thread - it'll really get good in two months when some of these people Google themselves. The more anonymous the better!

― Tom, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fuck sleeper threads! Nude Spock made the mistake of explaining more of the stories behind his candidates of hate, and now I want more info! Nyah!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dana Rohrabacher and Jesse Helms are dangerous toad-faced baby-raping scumbag cockfarmers. Lewis Lapham is a necrophiliac cigarette-sucking cockfarmer. Hillary Rosen is a shrieking harpy imbecile and a cockfarmer, too. It pains me to say this, but Andrew Sullivan has turned into a compleat cockfarmer. The jackass from the Ayn Rand Institute who appeared on the Bill O'Reilly show and deftly demonstrated (even to O'Reilly) why there are more Randoids in economics than in the military -- cockfarmer. Some brown-nosing college alum whose name I thankfully forget was a Rhodes-Scholar- winning cockfarmer. Maureen Dowd is a puzzingly overrated cockfarmer. Matt Lauer and Katie Couric are beyond redemption, and cockfarmers.

What does cockfarmer mean, again?

― Michael Daddino, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cal Thomas is a cockfarmer

― Maria, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anonymous, huh?

My ex can vouch for me when I say that Jim Dugan is a cockfarmer. In fact, when it comes to cockfarmeriness, he's just as bad as Jonathan Pearl.

― Michael Daddino, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Derek Filcoff, thy name is cockfarmer. Kathy Chiu, you're so vain, I'll bet you think this thread is about you.

― bnw, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DG is a...oops, got carried away there.

― DG, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dave Cridland is a cockfarmer.

― Ally, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DAvid Wildenstein is a nazi collabarating art whoring nasty peice of now dead cockfarming

― anthonyeaston, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's all about Jim Levine, folks.

― Nitsuh, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

By the way, Tom, Beyoncee would look down on you for starting this.

― Nitsuh, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Beyonce probably does it more than anyone else out there.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Robert Christgau is a tremendous cockfarmer. Rush Limbaugh has farmed quite a few massive cockpieces in his day. Steven Malkmus farms up the cizzocks. Etc... This is so neat--I love the Internet!

― Clarke B., Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Megatron is a cockfarmer.

― james, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(I'm glad Megatron isn't real, he'd probably vapourize me. I have a problem dissing any real life people, but if I did, I would probably diss Kenneth Branagh, but I'm not, even though I do have an irrational disliking)

― james, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Robert Christgau is a tremendous cockfarmer.
I suspect this will come up nr 2134566 in a google search. ;-)

― helen fordsdale, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

John King, author of football hooligan novels, is a tremendous cockfarmer. James Brown, ex-Loaded, is a scared-of-girls-like-me farmer of cock. Hilary Alexander, Labour whip, farms it, discovers it is of Satan, then sucks it until she gets off on the asphyxiation quotient. That line of questioning she put to the MP was straight off the template used by bad psych-drama writers.

I can think of a famous for 15 seconds novelist of my acquaintance who farms cock for cash, etc. but shall not name this person as any publicity = good publicity to their way of thinking.

― suzy, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

jess harvell is a cockfarmer.

― not jess, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Beyoncee is a cockfarmer.

― Ronan, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ralph Klein farms cock , oh wait a minute 1.7 billion dollars in cuts means like most people he cannot afford to farm anything .

― anthonyeaston, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Gregg Cosgrove is a cockfarmer. John Neubauer sells insurance for State Cockfarmers. Mary Maish is a cockfarmer. Joanne Bonanno is a cockfarmer. Sears, Roebuck & co. and their attorneys are also cockfarmers. Judy Johnson is a cockfarmer. Michael Jackson (not * that* one) also farms cock. John Reinhagen drinks Cock's Farm with breakfast, lunch and dinner.

― Richard Nixon, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Michael Strachan (a.k.a. Golding) is a fatheaded BNP-supportin' Mansun-luvvin' Greenwich Polytechnic (oh, UNIVERSITY, sorry) attendin' cockfarmer.

― DG, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How often do you suppose the average person googles themself, anyway?

― Nude Spock, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

james brown isn't a cockfarmer!

― ethan, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Funny, given the opportunity, my mind goes blank. But after thinking and thinking - Jane Root is a cockfarmer. Ashley Banks is a cockfarmer. Anne Robinson had a bumper crop this year. Scott Kelly drives back from the fields every day, his wagon a-burstin' with the forbidden elephants, which he sells onto tourists at an inflated price, but that is only to be expected as he *does* farm them.

― Chris Lyons, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*Different* James Brown. Trust me.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

JOn Holmes, you are a cockfarmer

― Mike Hanle y, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'jon holmes' s&m circus' was in town today. despite my curiousity of how they'd pull off a 'deep throat contest' without getting arrested, i did not attend.

― ethan, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dan*** P ******* raped my best (female) friend in first year was instrumental in the beating of a friend from 2nd to 3rd year by her boyfriend but once again tried to get me in shit tonight. He is definitely a cockfarmer. I A) escaped without any thrashing, b) had him on the ropes with people asking him to prove he didnt daterape my friend (which he did). I have a hospital reciept and drug store reciepts to prove that I spent 4 hours waiting in the emegency ward and another hour in the drug store. All he has is a hangover, heck Im not sure he was even awake by the time my friend was heaving into the stalls as her body was forced into a period. I is very drunk dont mind me, I just am laughing at said cockfarmer quietly.

― Mr Noodles, Saturday, 27 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sobered me the hell up - tangy futile honesty

― you will forget me, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Craig David you are a cockfarmer and a parameciam. Stephen Tsiang you are a cockfarmer, and so are you Jared Mitchell. I hate you all and I hope your drown next time you all have a naked spa, then at least I could have a happy memory of hearing about it. I can't really say any more about people in the town who are on my hitlist, Dunedin is too repulsively small. I shall add a few more celebrities: Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Stevie Nicks, Sting, Michael Bolton, Charlotte Church, Anne McCaffrey, Fabio, Hanson, Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn, Harold Robbins, John Grisham, Jean Auel, um, the list is too long. Just one more dunedin person to add:

John Spenser you are the granddaddy of all cocksuckers I hope someone bludgeons you to death with a tiffany toaster from the Warehouse.

Thankyou all very much, more work here is done

― Menelaus Darcy, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sunil Narang who used to work at MCI Worldcom (maybe you still do), I hope you Google yourself and find this, you big fat cockfarmer. You are the most bastardy boss I've ever had, and I've had a few. You need to learn that tucking your Rugby shirt into your too-tight chinos is not a good look.

― Madchen, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wonder how long it will take for ILE to get sued.

― Kerry, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cockfarmer is a term of affection, surely.

― Tom, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Hello

― Price, Friday, 13 December 2002 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yngwie farms cocks! Bring it on!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, OK. Paul Isaacs, James Henderson, Ben Katz, Steve Lamcq, Charlton Heston and ALL OF THE LEVELLERS are cockfarmers!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I said: Hel_lo.

― Price, Friday, 13 December 2002 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Trent Lott and Pat Robertson are goddamned cockfarmers.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi Price. Say something dangerous.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 13 December 2002 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Dangerous? Like: lets all of us have a race - to catapult every single thread we've ever started into the updated threads page; by adding something inconsequential? I will suggest no such thing.

― Price, Friday, 13 December 2002 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Bill O'Reilly. Ann Coulter. William Donohue, president of the Catholic League. COCKFARMERS, THE LOT OF 'EM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

David Lumsden for what you did to my best mate you reign Cockfarmer Supreme, also for the hurt you would have caused to your new burd and newborn baby had S**** been dumb enough to have anything to do with you last weekend - Cockfarmer. Cara Page, you know why. Liz Wilson for being a bitter, twisted, venemous bitch you farm cocks for a living.
God that felt good! I have no bitterness towards celebrities, though sometimes they annoy me greatly. I shall go away and have a think...

― smee (smee), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

But do people like Trent Lott, etc. google their names? I think they'd probably have an assistant who does things like that, at best. Although they all are raging, flaming, utter cockfarmers.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Bry*ny D**n (not the doctor) fellated a male student for £100 behind the back of The Lounge in 2000, and her father is in the Countryside Alliance. And she's a cockfarmer.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate bigots like Trent Lott a thousand times more than anyone I've ever held a grudge against.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I was clearly in a responsible kind of mood when I started this one.

Hugh Bolton may not even be a cockfarmer any more for all I know.

Edward Chadwick I am 99% sure remains one though.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I am a cockfarmer.

― Price, Friday, 13 December 2002 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread however really hasn't had much of a Google presence. Try it, you might be disappointed.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

There should be a "Trent Lott is a gigantic cockfarmer" thread.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Fran Robinson farms a thick, dark, cock-furrow.

― Sam (chirombo), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Radley Acura is such a mother****** of a cockfarmer that they should get out of automobiles and farm cock full-time. The CareFirst BlueCross BlueShield executives who will get massive bonuses for selling out to a for-profit insurer while I get fiscally screwed are cockfarmers supreme. Lauch Faircloth, for telling District residents who want voting representation in the U.S. Congress to move out, you are a seriously ****ed cockfarmer.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

OH WOW! this *so* is the best thread EVAH. i'm going to make a list, i'll be back. i may be a while.

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Make sure you put "cockfarmer" next to each person's name so that when they google "[their name] cockfarmer" this thread comes up.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Lauch Faircloth

That has GOT to be a made up name.

Richard Sadler, you're a fucking TWAT.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay... Mike Trombley you still owe me $400 in rent from five years ago. Cockfarmer. Hope you're well!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

gavin haugh - you're a fucking cockfarmer! But you know that already, don't you? I hate your face, I hate your attitude, I hate your clothes. And that's just the beginning!

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom Hammerman -- how's the cock crop this year?

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 16 January 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

My friend David Van Berkel is not a cockfarmer, and I wish he would get in touch with me.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 16 January 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Has anyone said George W Bush is a cockfarmer? He is, you know.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 16 January 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

greg kitten is a cockfarmer

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Jason Buffington -- I am still waiting for that cash. And you know that and that knowledge gratifies me for now. But I still wait.

That has GOT to be a made up name.

No, there's something about the mid-Atlantic Seaboard that conjures up strange names. Like Parris Glendenning.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Parris Glendenning is a TOTAL cockfarmer.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 16 January 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

charlie kephart = cockfarmer

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 16 January 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck fuck fuck. Those motherfucking cockfarmers at Computer Science Corporation fucked with my hours once again. Their cockfarming proposal writers undoubtedly don't care that I've been waiting at home all this week without work, because I was expecting to work at CSC on Friday and Saturday, and my agency didn't want that cockfarmer of a CSC job to run into overtime. I hesitate to call Samantha Langley of CSC a cockfarmer, as she was merely passing on the bad news, but if even the best of people works long enough with cockfarmers, does not even he or she start to farm cock?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

No, there's something about the mid-Atlantic Seaboard that conjures up strange names.

Right. Faircloth was from North Carolina, and reflects poorly on that state's electorate, since they elected such a cockfarmer.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike Sherman
Mike Martz
Bobby Valentine
Bobby Valentine
Bobby Valentine

― James Blount, Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

The Boston Red Sox should rename themselves the Boston Cockfarmers.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, Lleyton Hewitt is a cockwrangler.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan Duquette
Tom Coughlin
Mike Brown
Jerry Jones
Barry Switzer
Bobby Bowden
Terry Bowden
Phil Fulmer
Ron Zook
Terry Donahue
Phil Donahue

― James Blount, Friday, 17 January 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Terry Donahue

What the hell, man.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 January 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Dick Planter is a real cockfarmer. Although that's the least of his problems.

― B.Rad (Brad), Friday, 17 January 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Brian Fortson & Nick Yingling sure do farm some serious cock, let me tell you what.

Oh, and Curtis Bittle? Certified owner of a Penisery. Acres and acres of prepuce.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Friday, 17 January 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Down here in Gods own land girt by sea, John Howard is the biggest cockfarmer that ever farmed cock, and I don't mean the Seachange bloke.

Stan Zemanek, Alan Jones, Steve Price, Piers Akkerman, Andrew Bolt, Ray Martin, Rex Hunt and Mike Monroe are all cockfarmers but none of them are in the same cockfarming league as Sam Newman or Eddie McGuire. Derryn Hinch used to be a cockfarmer when he used to be anything. Specially minted Robert Menzies Memorial 'lifetime cockfarming achievement' Medals have been awarded to Joh Bjelke-Petersen and Jeff Kennett for cockfarming above and beyond the call of duty over long careers.

Brad Cooper is even regarded as a cockfarmer by other cockfarmers, second only to John Elliott and possibly Alan Bond.

However, Australia's leading five-star, A-grade, 24-carat, top shelf, industrial strength, fully gauranteed with 12 month warranty, architect designed, tungsten tipped, copper lined, water resistant to 500 metres, by-Government-appointment cockfarmer-in-chief has to be John Laws.

― Fred Nerk, Friday, 17 January 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I like this Fred Nerk guy

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 18 January 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

A welcome new addition!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 18 January 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Australia's leading five-star, A-grade, 24-carat, top shelf, industrial strength, fully gauranteed with 12 month warranty, architect designed, tungsten tipped, copper lined, water resistant to 500 metres, by-Government-appointment cockfarmer-in-chief has to be John Laws.

amen!! you are a cockfarmer laws, you know what i mean

― minna (minna), Saturday, 18 January 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree -- an impressive debut.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 18 January 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom Hammerman -- how's the cock crop this year?

We might get more luck if we call him "Thomas Hammerman." (Did he have a middle initial?)

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 18 January 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Seymour Glass aka Steve Crigley is a complete an utter cockfarming fucking wank hard dullardian knob with shit balding hair and thinks he's a fucking sex dwarf but is more like a fucking homoerotic hobbit with a maggot-esque toddler's penis and his wife is ugly as well
and all yr friends are twats too
and yr band is crap
i dont give a shit what u say in yr songs whateva who gives a fuck about fucking a levels and being picked on by townies
bye

― , Saturday, 18 January 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and JAMIE MACREADY where is that tenner you owe me from the 10th year huh cockfarmer

― , Saturday, 18 January 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Lancaster University SCAN editor Matt King is a complete cockfarmer with a sense of humour bettered by most corpses, the personality of toejam, and the editorial ability of an aborted foetus. He manages to be an embarassment to student journalism, which takes a fucking great effort.

Oh, and he's also a COCKFARMER.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 19 January 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Professor David Simms from the Trinity College Dublin Mathematical Department - Cockfarmer.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael -- his middle initial was N for Nils, but I beleive he's changed it to Akiva -- which is a completely cockfarming thing to do.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Colin, did Michael the CF change his first name to Under at the same time?

― Fred Nerk, Friday, 24 January 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael is not the CF -- Thomas Nils "Unda" Akiva Hammerman is.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Understood. Sorry for the mix-up.

― Fred Nerk, Friday, 24 January 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo Drownedinsound! Review the motherfucking Brazen Hussies CD already! If it's that crap, then tell the world! Or did you lose all 28 copies I sent you?

― dave q, Friday, 24 January 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Every time this thread gets revived I think one of the parties named has found it.

― thom west (thom w), Friday, 24 January 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Google hates this thread. Try googling "Michael Gove cockfarmer" to see.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 24 January 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Google is a cockfarmer.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 5 July 2003 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Jacque Hare is a cockharvester

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 5 July 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Seymour Glass's real name is Steve Crigley? huh.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 5 July 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry I missed Colin's follow-up to my question. Akiva? So it's really true he went big into Hebrew studies, then? Fucking weird. I wonder if he still has his speculum.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 5 July 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael Rudden and Michael Resnick are truly the farmiest among cockfarmers.

Similarly, Billy Norden, while working his way up to being a cockfarmer is a mere asshat for now.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 5 July 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael -- or his vast collection of old copies of Screw. I think he's the librarian in charge of the Hebrew and Judaica collection at the University of Chicago now. I have no idea where the woman he married is now, although I know she went to law school.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 5 July 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

This sounds like Tom H. entered into a relationship that went from a state of marriage to a state of non-marriage. Am I right?

I *did* tell you the speculum story...did I?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 5 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

please do mike

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 5 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

That is correct, Mike, he is no longer married to the person I went a little nuts over.

I recall that there WAS a speculum story, but I don't remember it, so tell it again!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 5 July 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing much to tell, really...other than one late night, apropos of absolutely nothing whatsoever, admitted to the whole blonde crew that he had one. And he acted all "embarrassed" about it, 'cept that nobody enquired in the first place.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 5 July 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Incidentally, is this the kind of thing we *want* Hammerman to read, cockfarmer or no?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 5 July 2003 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh hell yes. He's a cockfarmer.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 5 July 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

So. Colin. The Homecoming. I see you're going. I see Hammerman is also going. This should be interesting.

I also notice that I'm not DJing.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 11 September 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I don't know WHO is djing. I expect lameness.

What's even better than the fact that Hammerman is going is the fact that the seminar is on DEATH IN FREAKING VENICE! Ooh, is he gonna say some dumb stuff.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 12 September 2003 08:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, tell Kristin that I was SO LAME for never responding to her postcard and tell Pam that I think I saw her at one of the Union Square Starbuck's a few weeks ago.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 12 September 2003 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Ron Howard, I hate your child acting, I hate your sitcom acting, i hate your movies and i hate your tufty bald head.

― Nellie (nellskies), Friday, 12 September 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Arik Devers, you are a serious cockfarmer. Everyone thinks so. Don't hide Sloan Letman, I'm talkin' to you too.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 12 September 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

isn't arik's surname devens?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 12 September 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Mario Torres, you are the biggest cockfarmer I have ever had the displeasure of knowing, and I am so tremendously happy I am long through with your class because you are the most offensive, idiotic, rude, crude, and downright repulsive person on the face of this planet.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 12 September 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh. Arik Devens, you are a serious cockfarmer. Go to hell. And may you only pack wool sweaters.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 12 September 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Kathleen Wilson of The Stranger -- this thread is so filled with nasteé indie boy cooties. eat it up. cum get sum.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 12 September 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Creighton Burke, you constantly stole my beer and food, you never once paid rent, you're a total insane raving alcoholic lunatical, you constantly woke us up at 6 am playing saxophone horribly out of key, you stole Jenny's cat, you smeared its feces on the door of our place of work, he died in your car cuz you never fed him, our boss was right to kick your ass, when you ran red lights to chase us around town we were really fucking freaked out, even moreso when you flipped out on us right in front of the police station, you made the 9-months that Lukas was in the womb super-hard for me by asking in August if Jenny had had an abortion, clearly implying that he was of your seed and not mine, I would kick you in the face if you were here right now you royal asslicking urethrafucking cockfarmer.

― certainly not a hippy (nickalicious), Friday, 12 September 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael,

our cockfarmer friend is as bald as a cueball.

Many people send greetings.

More later.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 13 September 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Homer Simpson. Stay out of Riverdale.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 13 September 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

To my AHEH, Wayne Desmond Lewis:

You are the greatest cockfarmer ever to walk this earth, and if any of those gutless drunk moronic half-trained monkeys that call themselves the Blackshirts, at any time now or in the future, venture again within a hundred yards of myself, my children, my parents, my workplace, my church, or anywhere else I am likely to be, I will assume you are responsible. Of a lifetime of weak, stupid acts, sending those two-bit Chopper Reads around was the feeblest yet.

― Karen, Tuesday, 16 September 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

(Reading this thread reminds me of listening to ICE T's "MV Players" song)

My contribution : Gabriel Carson, you a major cockfarmer dude!

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Completely agree with Karen re the Blackshirts. Greatest pack of arseholes ever. They remind me of that gang of imbecilic thugs led by Gordon Gordon in 'Stark'. To a man, they are utter cockfarmers.

(For non-Aussies, the Blackshirts are a mens' vigilante group that blokes whinging about their maintenance payments can hire to hassle their ex-wife and generally make a noise and make a bloody nuisance of themselves and, if the ex's sleeping partner gets involved, kick the crapper out of him.

Sort of like 'Ghostbusters' for women-haters.)

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok...

Chuck Booms, you too are one of the biggest cockfarmers ever to exist, you woman-hating baboon with such a tiny dick that your masculinity gets threatened any time people talk about equality between the sexes. Chris Duel should've so bashed your head in for the anti-woamn comments you made, and I desperately wish Tanji Patton had been in on the convo as well because she would've definitely gone off on you. Chuck, you are a whiny little weasel and I hope you get arrested for sucking so horribly, put into prison with big burly guys in for armed robbery or something, and made into their little girlfriend.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

(Thanks for getting 'NSync's "Girlfriend" stuck in my head, Dee.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

David Ross, you are a sad little snake of a man, with your empire of pettyness. Three minutes, that was all I asked. Fuck you and your office full of bizzy lizzies.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck you with knives.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Also, you are a cockfarmer!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

I bought shoes at lunchtime, but this has cheered me up more.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

this thread is great!

― gear (gear), Friday, 14 July 2006 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

Indeed! It's more hilarious than some people KNOW!!!

― doctor the record (edslanders), Friday, 14 July 2006 18:34 (nineteen years ago)

Argh! I fear to use the cockfarmer's name as he may recognize me even here on ILX, although he has likely never heard of it, given that he has only started using e-mail three of four years ago. But a cockfarmer he is!

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Friday, 14 July 2006 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

dave whateveryournameis, you are certainly a mothercocking cockfarmer

― archipelago (archipelago), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

Keith Steele, I bet you're not spitting on too many people's shoes now, are you? You fucking maggot.

― I will commence to drop a knowledge bomb. (Rock Hardy), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

Cal Kyrkostas, you are a violent, homophobic imbecile.

― 1f (lfam), Friday, 14 July 2006 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.oberlin.edu/athletic/varsity/baseball/images/headshots/ckyrkostas.jpg

Is it this guy? I googled his name on a whim, and the first link that came up had this pic. (I hope it's OK with you that I posted it.)

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 14 July 2006 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

Josh Swathell you are a miserable cockfarmer and one day I will have my revenge.

― daniel striped tiger (OutDatWay), Friday, 14 July 2006 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

oh great now he's gonna beat me up too

― 1f (lfam), Friday, 14 July 2006 23:52 (nineteen years ago)

Pam Richey: Cockfarmer with an MBA!

― xero (xero), Saturday, 15 July 2006 00:32 (nineteen years ago)

Those are the worst kind

Except for Ph.D cockfarmers and also M.D. ones

― chrisco (chrisco), Saturday, 15 July 2006 01:07 (nineteen years ago)

I just Googled Wayne Desmond Lewis and this thread was the only hit. So if Wayne ever does do a search for himself, he will quickly find out someone thought of him three years ago.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 17 July 2006 07:34 (nineteen years ago)

Michael Gove really *is* a cockfarmer.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Monday, 17 July 2006 08:22 (nineteen years ago)

Glenn Danzig is a cockfarmer.

BRING IT ON, LITTLE MAN!

― andy dale (andy dale), Saturday, 22 July 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

Ramses Snoey is a cockfarmer. Sometimes he spells it Snoeij. Ramses Snoeij is also a cockfarmer.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 23 July 2006 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

neil "farmer of cocks" pleuckham, I blame YOU. for EVERYTHING. also, you are a cockfarmer.

― HPSTRKRFT (haitch), Sunday, 23 July 2006 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha I just googled the above RS and found a myspace video showing my old apartment in Holland from a bzillion years ago and my ex RS biking to a coffeeshop.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 23 July 2006 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Cockfarmers in order:

1 - Brooke Hogan

2 - Thomas Millar

― Yingling and Fortson Murder INC (Yingling and Fortson Murder In), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

john lappin - cockfarmer.

― i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

hazel blears is a cockfarmer.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

Alex Butler, you are and always will be a cockfarmer of the highest order.

― Pete W (peterw), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

Latham Green is a cockwarner!

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

Joseph Owen, you unmitigated flaming COCKFARMER.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

Still waiting for Bittle.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

I got an e-mail today from the person I called a cockfarmer! Now it's the first Google hit you get when you Google his name.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

Nath, how would you say "cockfarmer" in Dutch?

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 11 August 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

Luke Slater is also a stinking benighted cockfarmer, with knobs on.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Friday, 11 August 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

Wow, Maria, was he angry or amused?

― Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Friday, 11 August 2006 19:24 (nineteen years ago)

Luke Slater has made some great records you mug.

Keilan Knight is a cockfarmer. Come in from the cock field and post me and everyone else you scammed my fucking records

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Friday, 11 August 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

gus axelson (woodstock IL) was and probably still is a complete cockfarmer

― gear (gear), Friday, 11 August 2006 19:57 (nineteen years ago)

I was talking about my friend Luke Slater, who I was hoping would find this. I wasn't aware there was a *checks Allmusic* techno artist of the same name. Very gauche of me, sorry.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Friday, 11 August 2006 19:58 (nineteen years ago)

He just sent an e-mail that said "what do you mean?"
I replied Ha ha! and half-apologized and told him it felt good to call him a cockfarmer. The dude bruised me (physically and mentally) throughout our relationship - it felt good to call the abusive bully who made much of my life hell for 7 years a cockfarmer. Also since he's on another continent and can't come to get me.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Saturday, 12 August 2006 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

Jonathan Hurdiss, you're a FUCK

― you'll never know (JTS), Saturday, 12 August 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

Jason Carter farms cocks hydroponically for increased yield and potency.

― 100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Saturday, 12 August 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Hey Louise Berryman, if you're not dead yet, you must be running on pure spite, you bilious old cunt.

― Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 12 August 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

Oberlin College Administration = Many Many Cockfarmers

― trees (treesessplode), Saturday, 12 August 2006 16:20 (nineteen years ago)

J.Michael Arata Jr you're no doubt still a self-hating harvester of cock even if you are a married and nominally "straight" antigay activist & anti-immigrant right wing nutjob. we were on to you from the git-go, coach. from: your least favorite student of all time.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Saturday, 12 August 2006 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

Holy shit, I just found out that the spitter named above is now a high school principal.

― The Bearnaise-Stain Bears (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 22 October 2006 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...

Andreas 'Disco' Gessner, you can eat a dick

― jergins (jergins), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:02 (eighteen years ago)

I wonder if Osama Bin Laden ever Googled his name and found this?

Actually, I wonder if anyone has ever Googled their name and found this.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:07 (eighteen years ago)

I was talking about my friend Luke Slater, who I was hoping would find this. I wasn't aware there was a *checks Allmusic* techno artist of the same name. Very gauche of me, sorry.

Was it yr friend who was posting here a couple of weeks ago and got his own BAN thread, Louis?

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:28 (eighteen years ago)

collin bardakjy, you always were a brutish lout. hope the army's treating you well, cockfarmer!

― |o| (lfam), Monday, 29 January 2007 22:41 (eighteen years ago)

David Hasslehoff makes AOR dork music for Germans. David Hasslehoff U R a cockfarmer!

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), October 26th, 2001.

fuck's sake

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 29 January 2007 23:53 (eighteen years ago)

What a waste, if only he had spelled it right...

― Jena (JenaP), Monday, 29 January 2007 23:57 (eighteen years ago)

WESLEY TANNER FURMAN YOU ARE A COCKFARMER.

Ahhhh. That felt nice.

― John Justen waitin to get his W2s back so he can file his tax and ball out (john, Tuesday, 30 January 2007 00:06 (eighteen years ago)

Jason Portante you are a COCKFARMER!!

― phil terrien (spatulator), Thursday, 1 February 2007 17:20 (eighteen years ago)

Greg Burke is a cockfarmer!

― Some Random Guy (DarKarma), Thursday, 1 February 2007 17:23 (eighteen years ago)

Was it yr friend who was posting here a couple of weeks ago and got his own BAN thread, Louis?

might have been

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 17:26 (eighteen years ago)

Amanda Lervold is a cockfarmer.
Heidi Palmer is a cockfarmer.
Lucas Bonner is a cockfarmer.
Barb Hale is a cockfarmer.
Jennifer Steeves is a cockfarmer.
Matt Popkess is a cockfarmer.

― Ari Lervold (lervold1), Thursday, 1 February 2007 17:31 (eighteen years ago)

Jesse Glucksman

― JamesJames (Jamesjames), Thursday, 1 February 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

Dane Jorento -- COCKFARMER

― xero, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:29 (eighteen years ago)

Ian Shearman, you farm cock like it was going out of fashion.

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:29 (eighteen years ago)

Eric Lesinger is a cockfarmer. Also your hott receptionist hates your fucking guts; good luck with that, you big shit.

― tremendoid, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:58 (eighteen years ago)

Bummer, I googled the bilious old cunt Louise Berryman, and her call-out doesn't show up until page 7.

― Rock Hardy, Thursday, 15 March 2007 01:01 (eighteen years ago)

xpost it might be Eric Lessen. Eric Lessen might be a cockfarming beeyotch

― tremendoid, Thursday, 15 March 2007 01:05 (eighteen years ago)

Linda Lane, what you should realise is that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, you nasty, malevolent, vile and brainless half-witted cockfarmer.

― Hard like armour, Thursday, 15 March 2007 01:34 (eighteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE

Owner and operator of Karyn's Fresh Corner (www.karynraw.com) 1901 N Halsted St Chicago IL, 60614 (773) 296-6990 and Karyn's Cooked 738 N Wells St Chicago, IL 60610 (312) 587-1050

KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE

Purveyor of Healthy, Raw, Organic Nutritional Foods and Wellness Services, Oprah Guest and Successful Business Woman,

KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE KARYN CALABRESE

Your admittedly noble desire to help others improve their health is sadly eclipsed by your money-grubbing business practices and disgusting self-absorption.

KARYN CALABRESE: You are farmer of Raw, 100% Organic Cock.

― Anthony Michael Samson, Friday, 13 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

Oooh! This is a great idea! Okay: Parisa Bassim is a cockfarmer, Nelson Taxell is a cockfarmer and a lucky dope.

I wanted to see if this actually worked. Success! If Parissa or Nelson Google themselves all they'll learn is that they are cock farmers.

― mulla atari, Saturday, 14 April 2007 07:52 (eighteen years ago)

Those were Nude Spock's enemies from a 5 year old post BTW.

― mulla atari, Saturday, 14 April 2007 07:53 (eighteen years ago)

In that case, I doubt it. People who've been murdered and buried in the woods don't really Google themselves.

― Matt DC, Saturday, 14 April 2007 09:20 (eighteen years ago)

but what if they did??? a new movie starring sandra bullock "GOOGLE THEMSELVES"

― Ronan, Saturday, 14 April 2007 09:22 (eighteen years ago)

If you were working security at Newport TJs on Mar 13 2007, you are a cockfarmer and would do well to realise that you have no power to dictate what people do on the fucking pavement outside the venue. Sadly I don't know your name so this will probably fall on deaf ears

― DJ Mencap, Saturday, 14 April 2007 09:36 (eighteen years ago)

a new movie starring sandra bullock "GOOGLE THEMSELVES"

"In 0.13243 Seconds the Results will be DEATH!"

― mulla atari, Saturday, 14 April 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)

AMS, tell me more about Karyn Calabrese! I've eaten at both her restaurants: what's her deal?

― jaymc, Saturday, 14 April 2007 16:27 (eighteen years ago)

Diner scarred for life after sausage explodes in her face...

― lfam, Saturday, 14 April 2007 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

bump for google spider

― lfam, Monday, 18 June 2007 02:01 (eighteen years ago)

BEN LIDGETT YOU COCKFARMER!

― the next grozart, Monday, 18 June 2007 02:08 (eighteen years ago)

I can't even remember who Linda Lane is. Do I have Alzheimers?

― Hard like armour, Monday, 18 June 2007 06:11 (eighteen years ago)

FUCK YOU, DAVID RICHARDSON, YOU'RE A DISGRACE

― Mark C, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

michael gove

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 11:56 (eighteen years ago)

i guess everyone shits themselves whenever they see this thread mysteriously bumped.

― Ste, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 13:01 (eighteen years ago)

Ay Jay Weston, you are a lumpy, mean and pig stupid old cunt.

― darraghmac, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 13:16 (eighteen years ago)

bryony gordon.

private eye actually kind of missed half of what's really bad about her. i guess it serves me for reading the telegraph :/

― That one guy that quit, Monday, 2 July 2007 22:15 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

Gray Blanchard, cockfarmer is the nicest thing I can think of to say about you right now. This fucking guy. We talk about how the dishwasher is getting weaker and therefore anything going in it needs to be wiped up and free of major debris beforehand. So I'm emptying it a few minutes ago and every single item in the utensil basket is caked with peanut butter from several knives that he must have put in there (I haven't eaten peanut butter since last week.) I swear there were probably two or three ounces of that crap clogging up the forks and spoons. He's just a selfish, lazy, thoughtless asshole and that's all there is to it. I gotta get the fuck out of here and into a place of my own ASAP. I can't stand people in general sometimes, and in particular him right now I want to beat to a goddamn lifeless pulp and tip into the river.

Say, Austin, overreact much?

― Oilyrags, Friday, 24 August 2007 02:38 (eighteen years ago)

Ah, ah, ah, the one person I can think to call out here, she knows we've had our backs and forths. THAT'S RIGHT PEGGI OLIVER, not only did I made a statue of you by gluing a cheap wig to a crab, but I'm calling you a cockfarmer. You can't give me a C because I wrote my essay with a typewriter after you made fun of my family, in front of the whole regional debate team, for being poor. You've already Mormoned yourself into Lupus, but your self-righteousness will guarantee you will end up in a place where there are NO SMOKING BANS. Fudge off, you fuck.

― Abbott, Friday, 24 August 2007 02:46 (eighteen years ago)

Sheil4 Bellwo4r, you should farm some cock off one of your crackhead clients instead of getting me put on probation for longer because (OH NOES) i admitted to occasional pot use.

― the table is the table, Friday, 24 August 2007 02:56 (eighteen years ago)

Wait, does not google-proofing defeat the point?

― Abbott, Friday, 24 August 2007 02:56 (eighteen years ago)

I mean, I could see why you would with the context there, but still..

― Abbott, Friday, 24 August 2007 02:57 (eighteen years ago)

i really like "fudge off, you fuck" and i'm going to try and use it, or think it, whenever the situation calls for it.

― strgn, Friday, 24 August 2007 03:02 (eighteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/gracious/shiticecream.jpg

― libcrypt, Friday, 24 August 2007 04:55 (eighteen years ago)

I made a statue of you by gluing a cheap wig to a crab

Genius. .jpg?

― xero, Sunday, 26 August 2007 01:49 (eighteen years ago)

Someone who calls himself "Nathan Rape" is a cockfarmer for not posting me the record I paid for and ignoring all my emails asking where the fuck it is. You could probably argue I walked into that one, though

― DJ Mencap, Sunday, 26 August 2007 11:11 (eighteen years ago)

Jeanine Recckio is a cockfarmer. She works for/is Mirror Mirror Imagination Group, whose web site can be found here: http://www.mirrormirrorinc.com. She is an unreliable spendthrift and an enormous, hefty farmer of cocks.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 26 August 2007 13:25 (eighteen years ago)

Emmy Soraya my roommate, you can kick yourself out of the house next year, you stupid annoying little tart. Here's for telling your equally stupid and annoying best friend she can move in next year WITHOUT consulting me first, and for all the times I cleaned up your fucking messes in the sink and threw out your rubbish, and for getting us fined by running up the phone and electricity bills and then not paying for it, and for breaking our blinds, and leaving your wet clothes on the couch, fuck you you cockfarmer.

― Roz, Sunday, 26 August 2007 16:14 (eighteen years ago)

oh snap

― Rock Hardy, Sunday, 26 August 2007 16:23 (eighteen years ago)

Ben Green = cockfarmer of the highest order. Your band is so shit and you are a smarmy little ballbag.

― W4LTER, Sunday, 26 August 2007 22:31 (eighteen years ago)

from H!gh Pass F!1ter?

― energy flash gordon, Monday, 27 August 2007 13:35 (eighteen years ago)

Andy Medhurst

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 27 August 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

Hamilton Harvey, you write like a prize cockfarmer.

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 9 September 2007 12:33 (eighteen years ago)

Tom Cox, I know you will not discover this because you canceled your internet after your disappointing experience with internet porn, but you are a cockfarmer.

― The Reverend, Sunday, 9 September 2007 12:53 (eighteen years ago)

Tell us more about the disappointing porn experience, Rev! Did he catch something?

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 9 September 2007 12:53 (eighteen years ago)

He was probably upset it was in colour

― DJ Mencap, Sunday, 9 September 2007 13:04 (eighteen years ago)

He was mad that most sites will only give you a few free pictures, which isn't really even that true.

― The Reverend, Sunday, 9 September 2007 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

lol noob

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 9 September 2007 13:08 (eighteen years ago)

I know.

― The Reverend, Sunday, 9 September 2007 13:09 (eighteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

hey Officer Paul Rorrison of the San Diego Police Department, what you are is a cockfarmer

― iiiijjjj, Sunday, 7 October 2007 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

alex needham, cockfarmer.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 9 October 2007 14:53 (eighteen years ago)

http://image.guardian.co.uk/artsblog/authorpics/alex_needham.jpg

How can you hate a face like that?

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 9 October 2007 14:55 (eighteen years ago)

fnarr, i'd forgotten we'd done a thread on him. but this is about his third hit on google!!

Alex Needham - dud or THE WORST FUCKING WRITER EVER TO HAVE GRACED THE NME?

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 9 October 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

note to mods: DO NOT DE-INDEX, EVER

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 9 October 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

Adam Lee, cockfarmer.

― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 9 October 2007 15:02 (eighteen years ago)

Looking over this thread reminds me why I live alone.

― Trip Maker, Tuesday, 9 October 2007 15:16 (eighteen years ago)

Maciej Nabrdalik is a cockfarmer.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Monday, 15 October 2007 18:26 (eighteen years ago)

buster the pug is grose and a jerk
he is stupid and drooly and a moron
it is one thing to play humping
but he is grose and gets EXCITED
and he smells like the haircut people

― a puppy, Monday, 15 October 2007 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

Wesley Tanner Furman, you remain an eminent and permanent cockfarmer, and one day I shall have my revenge.

― John Justen, Monday, 15 October 2007 20:57 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

AC Grayling.

thank i saw you in gower street, with your twattish hair and everything.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 21 December 2007 10:45 (seventeen years ago)

AC Gay-ling

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 21 December 2007 10:46 (seventeen years ago)

i know right

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 21 December 2007 10:47 (seventeen years ago)

Dude is a hero.

― ledge, Friday, 21 December 2007 11:00 (seventeen years ago)

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 21 December 2007 11:01 (seventeen years ago)

As excoriating as Hitchens on religion; key figure in raising the profile of philosophy and showing it can have a practical purpose.

― ledge, Friday, 21 December 2007 11:06 (seventeen years ago)

EXACKLY.wav

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 21 December 2007 11:06 (seventeen years ago)

- it's his fauntleroy steez that pisses me off more than the content
- big fkn wow you're an atheist, have a cookie
- ~~"key figure inraising the profile of philosophy"~~ gettin real paid

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 21 December 2007 11:08 (seventeen years ago)

josh deetlefs is a cockfarmer
mahmood hikmet is a cockfarmer
joseph main is a cockfarmer

― randomrules, Sunday, 23 December 2007 06:08 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

henry conway

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 31 January 2008 12:11 (seventeen years ago)

Bernard Favre is a pervy-eyed scheming little runt and v likely a back-channel happy, press-leaking sandbox machiavellian cockfarmer

― blunt, Thursday, 31 January 2008 12:51 (seventeen years ago)

David Kratz, you are an utter cockfarmer and the worst kind of landlord.

― Madchen, Sunday, 10 February 2008 14:04 (seventeen years ago)

Also, your photos are shite. You can't even get a straight horizon on a body of water.

― Madchen, Sunday, 10 February 2008 14:07 (seventeen years ago)

I can never do that either :(

― Mark C, Sunday, 10 February 2008 17:51 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, but you don't try and make out you're some kind of pro with your own website and a business card and that. (Photoshop can sort you out btw.)

― Madchen, Sunday, 10 February 2008 17:57 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

neil boorman = cockfarmer

― banriquit, Sunday, 30 March 2008 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

three weeks pass...

Claire Broadley of Printed Circuit is a cockfarmer.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Friday, 25 April 2008 11:19 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

i kind of feel really bad about what i said upthread about former roomie. :(

― Roz, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 08:54 (seventeen years ago)

Claire Broadley of Printed Circuit is a cockfarmer.

-- The Real Dirty Vicar, Friday, April 25, 2008 9:19 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

er, why?

― electricsound, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 08:55 (seventeen years ago)

Oh come on, dude, she was asking for it.

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 08:58 (seventeen years ago)

(Truth be told, never heard of her, but I trust ILX. She's a cockettefarmette)

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 09:00 (seventeen years ago)

Since you asked, Claire Broadley of Printed Circuit is a cockfarmer because her website took my money, but she never sent me her stupid album.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 09:06 (seventeen years ago)

Andreas 'Disco' Gessner

no doubt this guy is a dick but what a great name!

― m coleman, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 09:57 (seventeen years ago)

Which Printed Circuit album was it? I have one I don't want. It's a promo with a bloody great hole cut in the cover though. Probably shouldn't be since I bought it full price from her own merch desk. Anyway I don't know which one it was.

In taking money and never sending stuff news, Sean Organ is either a cockfarmer or lives in a mysterious near-total postal blackhole and yet persists in running mail order. The guy basically says on his eBay auctions that if you don't pay the extra for recorded delivery it won't turn up, but if you do he won't tell you the tracking number. My CDs going missing three times, maybe, but yr barely-literate zine every month too? (Yeah, I know, it was cheap and I wanted to see if it was still its old 90s self)

― a passing spacecadet, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 10:12 (seventeen years ago)

ok now that is cockfarmery

― electricsound, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 10:36 (seventeen years ago)

APS, the PC album is called something like sound of a miraculous technique... If you want to get rid of your copy I can burn you a copy of The Adventure Game (I don't think Ms Circuit is really in a position to get stroppy about copyright theft).

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 12:14 (seventeen years ago)

Sorry DV, I just looked on discogs and The Adventure Game is the one I already have. I didn't realise it was so old, or that there was a newer one.

Hope your new one turns up (in whatever form but preferably the one you paid for).

― a passing spacecadet, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 12:20 (seventeen years ago)

no worries.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 13:29 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

"sharon" you are a cockfarmer who yells at her customers and should be fired

your supervisor is also a cockfarmer for not calling me back as promised

you both suck boldly and brazenly

― La Lechera, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 22:04 (seventeen years ago)

countdown to nick perving on "sharon" and/or her boss.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

you're weird

― Jordan, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 22:12 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

Justine Picardie is an evil, talentless cockfarmer.

― Dave from Norwich, Friday, 17 October 2008 18:37 (seventeen years ago)

Elizabeth Boulton (aka Liz Boulton), you are a colossal cockfarmer.

― braveclub, Friday, 17 October 2008 18:42 (seventeen years ago)

three months pass...

Truly, Jethro Binks, you are a cockfarmer of the highest order.

― Madchen, Friday, 30 January 2009 17:43 (sixteen years ago)

Jethro Binks!

― Safe Boating is No Accident (G00blar), Friday, 30 January 2009 17:46 (sixteen years ago)

4 Real.

― Madchen, Friday, 30 January 2009 17:50 (sixteen years ago)

one month passes...

Saul Kerpelman and Brian S. Brown, you guys cockfarm.

― doobieborther, Monday, 16 March 2009 19:40 (sixteen years ago)

Shelley Tanner & Sandy Nager, you are both both sharecroppers of cockfarmery.

― ian, Monday, 16 March 2009 19:55 (sixteen years ago)

you know sandy nager??

― Surmounter, Monday, 16 March 2009 19:58 (sixteen years ago)

he's my landlord! and a fuckwad!

― ian, Monday, 16 March 2009 19:58 (sixteen years ago)

maybe we need to take this to gchat.

― ian, Monday, 16 March 2009 19:59 (sixteen years ago)

lol yah

― Surmounter, Monday, 16 March 2009 19:59 (sixteen years ago)

four months pass...

Will Palmer morelike Will cockfarmer

Roger Tucker from Mead Property morelike lying fucker from Cock Farmery

― Tim Krul ringmaster (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:19 (sixteen years ago)

Ben Rees, or Benjamin Rees - you are a cockfarmer.

― fruity gonzalo (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:44 (sixteen years ago)

i've never hated a person as much as i hated this little boy Yuya Mizukami (need to put him on the call a random person a cockfarmer thread. in 20 years he might find it). Age 3, biggest little shit i've ever met.

― jergins, Saturday, July 4, 2009 9:37 PM

― jergins, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:52 (sixteen years ago)

Have we had any reported incidents of cockfarmers finding their names on this thread and throwing toys out of prams?

― Sickamous (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:53 (sixteen years ago)

Tommye Myrick. You are a complete and utter bitch. Karma will catch up to you. And it will be ugly.

― Fetchboy, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:54 (sixteen years ago)

ok - that's not a real name.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:12 (sixteen years ago)

well, it's what she goes by. I don't know what her given name is but I guess whenever she came out of the closet she decided she wanted a manly name. Either that or her parents wanted a boy. Google it if you don't believe me.

― Fetchboy, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:19 (sixteen years ago)

i think i mixed "gus axelson" up with someone else. he was still kind of lame, though.

― omar little, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:26 (sixteen years ago)

Desiree Rust, why the fuck? Why.

― chillbigail ate a chill banana (Abbott), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:42 (sixteen years ago)

Lee Montgomery ... I had a pleasant dream that you were dead.

― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:43 (sixteen years ago)

Will Long you can't use a computer AND are dead but if you're frying in hell I hope this represents one of the million zillion little assrapes you deserve, you disgusting, three-nippled child molester.

― chillbigail ate a chill banana (Abbott), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:44 (sixteen years ago)

(literally a three-nippled child molestor; not of me, thankfully)

― chillbigail ate a chill banana (Abbott), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:45 (sixteen years ago)

Jacob Graaf you made my life and those of many others miserable. I hear you lost your job. Hope you're sitting at home, wallowing in filth with your Napolean complex festering in your rectum.

― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:48 (sixteen years ago)

Matthew Assini, of Denver, is a cockfarmer.

― charismatic megafauna, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 02:23 (sixteen years ago)

this thread is so tempting

― akm, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 06:05 (sixteen years ago)

MUST. NOT. LIBEL.

― akm, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 06:06 (sixteen years ago)

i know, i was thinking about emailing an overseas ilxor and getting them to post one on my behalf so it was completely untraceable back to me but i sadly decided i had better not.

― estela, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 06:24 (sixteen years ago)

Should this thread finally be hidden from 600673's searchbots? -> http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=8359356

― StanM, Wednesday, 19 August 2009 14:03 (sixteen years ago)

four months pass...

Kevin Wojcik of Portland, OR: Cockfarmer!

― pugwant (The Reverend), Sunday, 10 January 2010 07:03 (fifteen years ago)

Marty Shaw, formerly or currently of Mukilteo, WA: Also a cockfarmer!

― pugwant (The Reverend), Sunday, 10 January 2010 07:05 (fifteen years ago)

six months pass...

Adrian Lamo is a snitch and a cockfarmer.

― The New Dirty Vicar, Monday, 26 July 2010 20:21 (fifteen years ago)

eight months pass...

nick wong you piece of shit, why don't you eat louder

― harlan, Wednesday, 13 April 2011 03:29 (fourteen years ago)

Greg Gunn is a dick

― sonderborg, Wednesday, 13 April 2011 04:31 (fourteen years ago)

three months pass...

Jasper Humphreys, you are name-dropping fibber.

― Madchen, Friday, 15 July 2011 10:36 (fourteen years ago)

op otm x 10000000000

― ever feel like you're an ilmposter? (NickB), Friday, 15 July 2011 10:59 (fourteen years ago)

quite remarkable that this thread is still the top result for "michael gove cockfarmer".

(is it the same michael gove? is the op tom one of the toms who's still around?)

― Sir Chips Keswick (Merdeyeux), Friday, 15 July 2011 11:43 (fourteen years ago)

two months pass...

Alex you cockfarmer. When you've arranged a meeting with someone, it's common business practice to actually be there at the designated time and place. Or at the very least take 30 seconds to call and let the other person know at the earliest opportunity that you can't make it and need to reschedule. To my knowledge, this is at least the second time in the last fortnight that you've pulled this shit. Maybe someone can teach you how to use a bloody appointments diary properly. Here's a hint: don't have two of the fuckers running simultaneously. Shitheads tend to get confused and double book themselves real easy otherwise. I've already pulled a consultant up for doing that earlier this year, so don't fucking think that I won't bury you under a fucking pile of shit, you cockfarming shitbird. Or maybe the problem is that your coke addled brain thinks it's October already, like you did at our last meeting.
I really hope that this 'urgent meeting' your colleague told me you were called to this morning was your manager firing your stupid arse. You have some fucking nerve accusing me of not working hard enough, when you have done precisely fuck all of the agreed objectives on the plan. I also fully expect to hear that you've lost your copy, since Jo asked to take a copy of mine. I feel sorry for her - the sigh when I told her that you weren't here had that world weary quality of a parent who's always having to wipe the arse of their juve delinquent offspring. The company could hire the cardboard cutout of Justin fucking Bieber from the fancy perfume shop in the mall to replace you. At least we would know where the fuck Just Paper was. I've always said that outsourcing work to third parties without adequate accountability is like shooting dice in an alley with fucking hobos and this proves it. You've got about as far as you can in this business by looking like Thom Yorke without the wonky eye, but it's not going to cut the shit around here any more. You can slap your crap with a pair of butterpats all you want, but it doesn't add up to anything more than a sorry heap of shit. Oh, and by the way, pinching the photocopier from the office of that rival company in your building that closed down? That's not some smart genius business move. That's theft, as the firm it was hired from will tell you when they figure out where it is.
Fuck off Alex, you cockfarmer!

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Thursday, 22 September 2011 14:28 (fourteen years ago)

I misread that as "butterpants"

― the tax avocado (DJP), Thursday, 22 September 2011 15:45 (fourteen years ago)

Well hopefully next time I see this guy his trousers will be dripping with brown liquid.

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Thursday, 22 September 2011 16:14 (fourteen years ago)

http://l.yimg.com/eb/ymv/us/img/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/blade_runner/_group_photos/edward_james_olmos1.jpg
Alex you cockfarmer (part 2). Bullshit, no way did you leave a message on my voicemail yesterday. Also no way did you leave a message earlier this afternoon. You called me, but you didn't leave a message. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, this is the 21st century, where my phone tells me if I miss a call and/or someone leaves a message.

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Thursday, 22 September 2011 17:36 (fourteen years ago)

Nah, your phone isn't as reliable as you think. I know that I've gotten calls from people who have no reason to lie about it and my phone doesn't say squat. I'm not as sure about voicemail message-leaving, and Alex might be a total cockfarmer, but I don't necessarily trust my phone to record the numbers of the people who try to contact it when it's turned on.

― bamcquern, Thursday, 22 September 2011 18:49 (fourteen years ago)

cool pic. like your rant above too.

― bamcquern, Thursday, 22 September 2011 18:51 (fourteen years ago)

NE-way

― bamcquern, Thursday, 22 September 2011 18:51 (fourteen years ago)

Normally I would agree that the technology is the weakest link in a situation like this.
http://primetime.unrealitytv.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/annerobinson.jpg
But there's something about this guy that's just so shady. Trying to get him to make an actual commitment to anything is like trying to nail jelly to a wall. I spoke to him yesterday, and he came across as sketchier than an Etch-a-Sketch viewed through a sheet of tracing paper.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/89/Captain_Edmund_Backadder_promo.jpg/215px-Captain_Edmund_Backadder_promo.jpg
He promised to call me today to reschedule the cancelled appointment, but did he? No. COCKFARMER!
The only way I could make his job easier for him, is if I were to do it myself. But then why employ him?

― serve soup without tasting it (snoball), Friday, 23 September 2011 18:23 (fourteen years ago)

Tom OTM

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Saturday, 24 September 2011 12:01 (fourteen years ago)

nine months pass...

Gaby Kelly / Gabi Kelly / Gabrielle Kelly is a cockfarmer

also lol at the fact you applied to Oxford to study law, despite having to resit your A-levels, and actually ended up doing an art degree at Nottingham Polytechnic or somewhere

― if you are a false nine don't entry (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 12 July 2012 16:14 (thirteen years ago)

five months pass...

Steven Raeburn, you cockfarming self-proclaimed social media guru. You utter nitwit.

― Madchen, Monday, 17 December 2012 17:53 (twelve years ago)

six months pass...

Many areas of inner London have become prohibitively expensive for local residents and too many luxury flats remain empty and treated as lucrative investments.’ Others query the way buyers avoid tax on property, and worry about the effect absentee residents will have on local businesses. Egerton dismisses this view out of hand. ‘It’s the law of the jungle and not everybody can be a lion,’ she says.

Whether anything should be done is a different matter. Egerton thinks not, ‘unless something cataclysmic happens, like the Communists getting in’.

Lulu Egerton from Strutt & Parker estate agents, you are the king of the cockfarmers.

― nagl dude dude dude (ledge), Monday, 17 June 2013 13:33 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

I love that 12 years ago, Tom was calling Michael Gove a cockfarmer.

― Madchen, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 11:35 (eleven years ago)

Jack Gravestock, to be singled out as a particularly awful estate agent is quite some achievement and both our financial advisor and solicitor, who have known many of your profession, have described you as such. Congratulations, cockfarmer!

― Madchen, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 11:37 (eleven years ago)

Tom was truly a visionary when it came to diagnosing cockfarmers

― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 13:24 (eleven years ago)

I am genuinely intrigued as to what prompted Tom to call Michael Gove a cockfarmer way back in the day.

Jack Gravestock (I assume it is the same one) has a truly awful blog. I forgot how much fun it is to google these cockfarmers and find evidence of their cockfarmery.

― ailsa, Thursday, 2 October 2014 02:19 (eleven years ago)

Haha, what a farmer of cock.

― Madchen, Thursday, 2 October 2014 03:08 (eleven years ago)

one year passes...

Haley Chauvin is a chauvinist cockfarmer who gives "they" a bad name. Andrew DesRochers is also a farmer of cock and a lying dumb bastard. Chloe Doyle is a selfish, mean-spirited bitch.

― velma, Monday, 21 December 2015 15:46 (nine years ago)

six months pass...

Tom OTM.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 7 July 2016 15:27 (nine years ago)

*wavey hand emoji*

― imago, Thursday, 7 July 2016 15:27 (nine years ago)

Oh goodie, now this is bumped a certain alleged cockfarmer will be emailing me again threatening lawyers

― stet, Thursday, 7 July 2016 15:29 (nine years ago)

deindexing this thread would ruin the whole point. lawyer up imo

― imago, Thursday, 7 July 2016 15:30 (nine years ago)

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