girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

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i'm quite a fan, as a rule. but, you know, they can also be pills.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i will regret this thread come morning, but i'm drunk now, so fuck it.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

girls are teh bomb.

i am in love with like eight of them.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm pills.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

it occured to me the other day that it's been the longest time since i've met one that i'd want to go on a second date with. (and yes, this is almost certainly my problem).

― m., Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i would take a first date at this point.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

you know what's good? when their hair does that thing it does when they first wake up and before they look in the mirror? yeah that.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

man you are drunk.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

you have NO idea.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

should i go for a walk? it's a nice night, but i'm afraid i might fall down.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

stay inside jess

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

but the girls are all outside.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i was going to go to the bar but i was afraid if i saw the chubby girl who worked at the coffee shop there i would say something embarassing like "if you dont let me lick your naked belly i will commit suicide with a felt tip pen"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

jess, it's only like 8:30 or something. what the hell were you drinking tuaca and jager milkshakes?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

(btw, I love jess's chubby-girl love.)

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought they were those DIET milkshakes

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you should say that to the girl.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i had to bring the bottle of bacardi upstairs last night (long story) and it was just sitting there on the dresser...staring at me...longingly...lovingly...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah but if i say that and she says no, then it's like put up or shut up time

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

dude LL Cool J hits on a girl by offering to kiss her belly button in "Big Ole Butt"! You've GOT To do it!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, i changed my mind, go out, that's brilliant.

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think she'll say no.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

alright, i will go out, but if i have to perform a colombian necktie on myself with a sharpie i am holding you all responsible

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

*strokes chin thoughtfully*

― the surface noise (electricsound), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

make sure to bring a sharpie though

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

a red one, so it looks like blood

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i have a red one in my bag actually

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

make sure you bring your tongue, more like

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

my tongue is my oldest friend!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

it will be performance art

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i only wish you could all be there

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry, leaving ina bit. i just need to find my pants and am having trouble with my shoes and the tying.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

hmm. . .you are walking right?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

performance art? I was going to say prop comedy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

well i was going to take the escalade but now that you mention it

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

just have farnsworth drive

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

pants before shoes jess

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

right right

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Underwear before pants, Jess.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, shoes and coat on

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

what about pants!!!!

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

they'll only get in the way!!!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

nah i got jeans on

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

they make my ass look big

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

though that just might be my ass

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

alright folks, i'm out! keep the thread warm for when daddy comes home

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, blunt drunken propositions made in bars have a higher success rate than one would think. when they go wrong, they really go wrong but when things go right it's spectacular.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I sure hope this doesn't end in felt pen seppuku.

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

it'll all be okay.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

for some reason i read rainy's last post as "i hope this doesn't end in prison".

good luck jess. you should try pole-dancing, it always works for me.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

spectacular until the shame sets in the next morning, anyway.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

the trick is to have no shame.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

That should be a tequila company's slogan/advertising.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

the shame is the best part!!!!

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

That should be the slogan.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

So what do we do until Jess comes back?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

talk about him

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Write ad copy for Jose Cuervo.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

of course the shame doesn't mean you won't still waking up in that same person's bed 1 year+ later.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't there someone with an iBook and aIrport to follow him and give reports from the road?

― ModJ (ModJ), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm calling the networks - this is must see tv.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

We can call it, "The Complicated Life"

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie really should move in with Jess.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

they'd probably fight all the time, it'd be spectacular

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

God, I'm picturing Jess hugging (strangling?) Nicole Ritchie like that teddy bear in the FAP pic.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

photoshop oppportunity!!

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

good thinking - it'll help us sell the show

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

does anyone have his cell? txt msg him for updates.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

oh girls, I love them but like ricky martin says they are a mystical nightmare. I don't like Ricky Martin.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

wooo, haha, uh-uh
Saturday night and Strongo need a fight
His motorcycle and a switchblade knife
Hand full of grease and his hair feels right
But what Strongo need to make him tight are those
Girls, girls, girls

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:26 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: motley crue or beastie boys?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie really should move in with Jess.

Only if they're willing to fill out to his preferred proportions.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

okay so like i walked up town and she was actually still at work! but they had already closed so i stood there and pressed my hands agaist the windows and licked my chops like a small cockney orphan watching the fat cats slice up their delicious christmas ham. but then i think they noticed me so i scampered off. so then like i walked all over town and EVERY BAR had some sort of godawful "show" happening tonight, possibly featuring white people attempting to get funky and erm uh waiter check plz. so then like i went in this yuppier bar and got all these stares from the waitstaff and the clientele and drank like four shots of whisky and two beers in the space of about 10 minutes. then i walked home and hit a tree on the way.

in summary: this town can suck my cock until i cum blood.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I am going to see Hellboy w/my dad.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

see if you can find me some pussy there

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, honestly, this is why i am a shut-in

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i feel your pain even though i inexplicably have a girlfriend currently

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah one will come along eventually

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

they're like haley's comet

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

with labia

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

bbbut, jess, did you see bam? don't you ever go to 15 north?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, how about Sunday night we coach you into getting just a little drunk and sending you back out to talk to Coffee Girl?

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

jess why didn't you knock on the window and talk to her?

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

have a bath.

I'm drunk and I'm just about to have a bath.

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

sunday night is baby jesus' death day so i dont think anything's open

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

rainy i mouthed "make love to me gorilla woman" through the window if that counts

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

for god's sake keep your chin above water

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

BUNNY!

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

..this is how I come off whenever I try to pick up a girl. Think of A Nightmare Before Christmas

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a start, jess. don't be discouraged

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

jess, the solution is obvious. you must bring back ska.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.rockcitynews.com/photos/live2/saveferrisphoto2.jpeg

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm a regular skanking pickle

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ause.org/punk/ska-summit-03/monique-powell-01.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.enamelband.com/prphoto/photos/music/MoniquePowell/Mo2water.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

haha db i dunno if you have cable, but if you want some real fun turn on M2..."90s Weekend"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

crazy girls. make my heart. go. boom boom, boom boom boom.

― Rodec (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

oh and stop giving me blue balls brian

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.brownbagmag.com/misc/skasummit/images/MoniquePowell8.JPG

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I must say. She has a GREAT mouth.

― Donec & Bixxor (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Monique Powell vs. Gwen Stefani ROOOOOOOOOWWWWR off!

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i am thinking we need to swing this back to a generalized discussion of girls

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I like peoples girlfriends.

(sorry morality)

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

oh thats a sticky wicket

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

(ideally)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

is this a discussion or a jizz cousin?

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

(worst attempt at alliteration ever shocker)

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf omg

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:15 (twenty-one years ago)

alliteration?

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

well, one way, jess, to improve your chances of meeting girls is to not waste time making a mashup album out of jay-z and, um, guided by voices or something like that, for starters.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

see i told you you should have danced with a pole.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"look! i even put a filter on jay-z's voice to make it sound like he was recorded on four-track cassette, to fuse it with pollard's genius. in fact, i'm starting to appreciate hip hop as a result!" should not be your way to introduce yourself to a girl.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Never slack album in your macking

― Sym (shmuel), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

FEEEEEEEEEELIN ON YOUR BOOTY

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

so your saying i should bag my huggy bear/black album mashup?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, and memorize the lyrics to one of these songs while you stroll your sexy manstuff on the streets... you just have to guess which one.

http://www.batmanrecords.com.au/images/queen.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

the way to introduce oneself to a girl is to say "hello darling, I have food everywhere, just like the party was catered".

Obviously.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"baby ever since the doctor pulled me out of the womb and spanked me i knew we were meant to be together"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Then you ask for complete sensory overload sexual depravity.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

.. all over the food.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

ladies and gentlemen, on the guitar, mr. donnie lyle

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

so should i drink more, or go to bed?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

both

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

drinking in bed is a bad idea i've found

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

just keep your chin above sheet level

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think you really found it, jess. It was there when you got to it.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, that's kind of what "found" means! Someone else make the jokes.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

tep clearly you're either not drinking enough or too much

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm worried that Cozen may have drowned in the bath.

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It's all pills, all pills. I'm too scared of hangover pain to risk more than a drink these days.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

COZEN! NOOOOO!

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

should I change out of my pajamas before I start drinking?

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i'm just gonna sip on my syrup for a while here

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

change into what? a leopard?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

That implies rainy is currently her own pajamas, doesn't it?

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

are you flirting with me?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

who, me? Or Tep?

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm...not sure.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I know I'm not my pajamas.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

i've hit the "confused ape" stage of this evening

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

But whose back will you pick delicious fleas off?

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

hopefully one that has a vagina but i'm not picky

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The gorilla has a unimale social system and a polygynous mating system. The basic group is composed of one mature silver-back male (the leader of the group), one subadult or black-back male (about 8 to 12 years old), three adult females, and two to three young (less than 8 years old) (Estes, 1991). Both males and females emigrate from their natal troop (Estes, 1991). When females leave they travel a long distance from their natal troop and either join a lone silver-back male or a group with only a few females (Estes, 1991). Females may emigrate to avoid inbreeding because when she reaches sexual maturity the silver-back male is most likely her father (Stewart and Harcourt, 1987). There is a hierarchy amongst the females within the group, and a female’s rank is passed on to her offspring (Estes, 1991). The female’s rank is based upon when she became a member of the group, so the first female a lone silver-back makes part of his group would be the highest ranking female (Estes, 1991). High rank allows that female and her offspring to be closer to the silver-back male, and this could decrease the risk of predation (Estes, 1991). Grooming occurs between the silver-back and the adult females and the juveniles and the silver-back and between juveniles (Stewart and Harcourt, 1987). Males will only stay in their natal group if they are likely to be able to mate with females (Estes, 1991). This occurs if the silver-back male is old and is ready to die soon, the son will inherit the group (Estes, 1991).

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

can people eat gorilla?

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

can people eat gorilla?

The various paraphilias, including oral sex, have been observed among nonhuman primates and other animals.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i like the cut of your jib

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

a couple of weeks ago a gorilla busted out of the zoo here and tried to eat a three-yr-old so I assume it goes both ways.

earlier I was sitting out in front of my apartment waiting for my friend and some cracked out dude came up and tried to holla. he asked me if I was going to investigate the gorilla. Apparently 'gorilla' lines work for some guys.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan909: I WILL EAT ME A GORILLA
Ronan909: OOO AAAH OOOO
Dubplatestyle: MAKE MONKEY FACE
Ronan909: WIND UP GO DOWN SLOWOO

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

DO DE PON DE RIVER

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

he be screamin WHERES MY GIRL

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

SHOW DEM DA FUCK U SIGN

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

http://webhome.idirect.com/~latrell/graphics/gorilla.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"hey ladeez"
"hi ELEPHANT MAN"
"where you from ladeez?"
"we come from tokyo, japan"
"what you doin in jamaica ladeez"
"we come to jamaica to meet the big dancehall star"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one who instantly thought of the Dizzee Rascal line after looking at that pic?

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.giantesszone.com/catalog/comp7/sxgorrila.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i've heard like one dizzee rascal song when gareth subjected me to it on the long drive from houston. can't say i feel like i'm missing anything.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

GORILLA SEX PARTY ENDS IN HEART ATTACK

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

this was supposed to be about WOMEN

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

GORILLA SEX PARTY

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

We've got
nothing better to do
then to join primates
and let them fuck in a zoo

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

JESS THREDS ARE THE BESSEST!

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

especially drunk jess threads.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 11 April 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

jeez. all the fun i miss when i go out to run sound at a metal show

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Sunday, 11 April 2004 05:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Let me be the first to say girls are classic.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 11 April 2004 05:21 (twenty-one years ago)

classic girls are even more classic.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 11 April 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

How about VH1 Classic girls? Are they still classic?

http://www.rockandrollfantasycamp.com/022103/about.1.jpg

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 11 April 2004 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the rule is that in order to be classic they have to be at least 30 years old with an original chassis.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 11 April 2004 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i could be thinking of cars, though

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 11 April 2004 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

1) Girls have fantastic ornamental value; rarely, however, do they have any practical purpose.

2) Did those pics count as "chubby"? What a straneg world we're living in. (or maybe its just round here that)

3) The shame is INDEED the best part - the lack of anything resembling shame or anything resembling knowledge is the worst.

4) Did you know that the latin name for the gorilla is gorilla gorilla gorilla? An interesting fact for y'all, folks.

5) Classic girls are indeed classic - Audrey Hepburn vs Liz Hurley FITE!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Sunday, 11 April 2004 06:44 (twenty-one years ago)

1) Girls have fantastic ornamental value; rarely, however, do they have any practical purpose.

Um...Johnney? I think we need to talk.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 11 April 2004 06:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I said RARELY! Hence . . . occasionally.

Stop picking on me!

*runs away sobbing his li'l heart heart out*

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Sunday, 11 April 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i like girls, men are ugly.

― whitie star, Sunday, 11 April 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

whattabath!

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 11 April 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

COZEN IS ALIVE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 11 April 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

there is way too much of that bottle missing

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

haha I thought you were lamenting my life for a second!

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 11 April 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, cause that's my job.

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 11 April 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

hi cozen. thank god you're a.live, since you've been in the bath I got drunk and sober and drunk again and now I'm back in my pajamas

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

there is the theory of the mobius...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

jess a re you hungover?

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 11 April 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

yes

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 11 April 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thecomicshop.com.au/site4/lot035/aus-morbius-11-nm-marvel.jpg

Theory of the Morbius.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 11 April 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Knowing that someone like you >>> knowing that someone doesn't like you >>> not knowing whether someone like you or not.

Sorry, the wine is starting to work its magic.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Sunday, 11 April 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wilson203.freeserve.co.uk/Brain%20of%20Morbius.jpg

― Ricardo (RickyT), Sunday, 11 April 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always been sure, but I like Slayer.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 11 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

OUT OF MY BRAIN TUNNIBOY

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 11 April 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that Jess or Jeff Goldblum fighting with Bill Bailey?

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 11 April 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

One day when I have all the money, I am going to fly all of ILX's drunks to the one place, to drink.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 11 April 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tohokingdom.com/pictures/posters/rebirth_of_mothra_2_02p.jpg

I am in love with the tiny moth riding fairies from this movie! SO CUTE

― Lil' Fancy Kpants (The K is Silent) (ex machina), Sunday, 11 April 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Seeing Sparks last night was comparatively sedate, I figure.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 11 April 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

update: i am going to go into the coffee shop today on the way to work and ask her out

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus you've more balls than I do....actually ask someone out?

anyway my advice is MAKE MONKEY FACE.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

best wishes mr hulkington!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM FILLED WITH MY OWN SENSE OF SELF-SATISFACTION

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

and coffee

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

go to it!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

http://homepage.uibk.ac.at/homepage/csac/csac8573/Simpsons/imageQC1.JPG

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw yeah, it's on.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i am officially impressed

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah well i still have to DO IT, so dont go worshipping the golden strongo just yet

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

BUT YOU TOLD US TO WORSHIP

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i am going to go lift her tent to get at the sweet dates inside

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

knock on the fuzzy gates dude

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 12 April 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

ask to take a bite of her sweet beige donut

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I lost a frisbee over the fuzzy gates before.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

by 'a frisbee' do you mean 'my innocence'?

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

If he lost your innocence, perhaps it wasn't really yours in the first place.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

clearly i can go to work now safe in the knowledge you chumps will keep this thread going for another 100 posts or so

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

beyond the pale.

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, jess has a job now?

― kephm, Monday, 12 April 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, he fulfilled his manifest destiny as record store employee

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

oh jesus.

― kephm, Monday, 12 April 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

everything's coming up Milhouse!

go jess, job in place surely the coffee-shop girl is next. don't lose your courage.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

yes yes, your cuffs do seem bone dry

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

my innocence is a lost frisbee

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

that sounds like a dave eggers book.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Jonathan Livingstone Asshat?

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

YAY HUMANITY

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the title of my forthcoming album, a plaintive and melancholic tale of love and loss in a small farming country.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

melancholic? hmm

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, melancholy + bucolic

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

My albino baby has a case of melancholic.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a melanchaholic.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

we really are chumps.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

chimps?

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

masters of the chicken

― kephm, Monday, 12 April 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

champs?

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, jess has a job now?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

A record store job!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

THE HAUS ALWAYS WINS

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 April 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so disappointed I missed this until now.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

Also, girls are undeniably classic. Search: All of them except one group. Destroy: Simpering little airheads who can't do anything for themselves and are completely helpless without a mayunnnn around.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Mayunnnn vs. mayonaise.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 April 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

giiiiiiiiirls.

hurray for jess.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Monday, 12 April 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

??!?!?

i'm more interested in how this turned out than in nearly anything right now.

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

ok that came out a little wierd, but uh bon chance etc

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I am shaking my pompoms for Jess (in a literal and a metaphorical way).

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 12 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm shaking my bon bon.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm shaking my penis.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I always miss the greatest threads.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

shaking it like polaroid picture, Dan?

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

on second thought, that could be kind of horrifically injurious...

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(haha xpost) Held firmly between the thumb and forefinger.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

mop and bucket to perrys.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

whole lotta shaking going on

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ha, I thought this was the kill file thread, I thought it'd taken a strange turn.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Pervertalism ahoy.

I always miss the greatest threads.

Reading it after the fact is like a Pinter play, though. But faster. And hornier.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if Jess managed to woo the young lady of his affection?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I read most threads from the bottom up, it's the cool thing to do.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel likes his threads like he likes his women...

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

admittedly this has been ilx's best cliffhanger in quite some time.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Bottom-heavy? (x-post)

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel likes his threads like he likes his women...

Big and bulging...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

... and totally filthy.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

there were other cliffhangers?

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Ack - I read that as 'Jess' not Jel.

Dude, Glasto tickets thread...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

girls are classic, search the girl who was on that Tamworth Two programme earlier.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

So do you think Jess was able to approach that certain special female and say something like "Thy belly is like a heap of perfectly roasted coffee beans...and would you be interested in a grind some time?"

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 12 April 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

glasto? some kinda cookie?

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

forgot my ;-) there

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

glasto = motor oil

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

hi honey, i'm home

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

You smell... different.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

oof, what a day

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

let me just take my shoes and pants off

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

WELL?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

and?

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, a cocktail would be lovely, thank you

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the taking the shoes and pants off pretty much answered the question!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

haha!

you big galoot!

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

fine, cocktail, slippers, pipe, roaring fire, whatever... spill it.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

what, about smelling different?

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

at least he's not drawing a bath and reaching for his razor...

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

oh I forgot, american pants aren't british pants!

so is it strongo lovington?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm about to go shower, actually. i stink of stockroom dust and the musk of self-satisfaction.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

This is prick-teasing of the highest order. I wholeheartedly approve.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Longo Cockington?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You'd better brush your teeth as well after the eight cups of coffee you just drunk.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

be back soon!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost)hence, the musk of self-satisfaction

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

he must've got a raise...

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I don't care anymore.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone see the Fulham Blackburn match today? Great wasn't it? Goal of the season, possibly.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

nah, I watched Poirot. Anyway, the Premiership's on now, good night!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

(oh, you all care)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Was Poirot any good? Was it old-skool or a new one? Any tips on how I could grow a moustache like that?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

OKAY, FINE:

so, i went in there, and, as soon as i saw her big ol' ass, i started mentally backing out of it. in fact i DID back out of it, but it maybe turned out better than if i hadn't. so like i got my coffee and chickened out and was standing there putting my cream and shit in at the end of the counter and she was talking to her co-worker about how "ugly" she felt that day (i think by the subtext of that conversation it was that time of the month, so maybe it's better that i chickened out since i'm not dealin with the cotton ball mouse up there) and, as i was about finished and their conversation lulled and they looked in my direction i said "oh, that's all a load of crap you know...you're probably the best looking woman in this town." and she just kinda stood there blushing and i walked out and she managed a "have a nice day"...and two blocks away i bust out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

tomorrow should be interesting.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

(also she called me "darlin[g]" when she gave me my coffee - before my lothario impression - which i would normally find annoying but today took as a sign of good fortune. also i was horny.)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

rico sauvington

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

*applause*

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

If you'd had an impeccably waxed moustache none of this would have happened.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

goddamn that's fucking smooth, dude. No sarcasm whatsoever.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

you are so in, my friend

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

THAT IS FUCKING HEAVY. NICE WORK NICE WORK.

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

haha xposts out the wazoo

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Next step - order a mocha with extra whipped cream. Works every time.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't wait for tommorrow's episode!

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

How do you follow up on your memorable and flattering line next time you see her?

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

The next episode is where Jess finds the co-worker all tarted up and fluttering eyelashes...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, man, that is fantastic.

― cis (cis), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

if it were me, i'd just keep on conversing with her more and more each day until by the end of the week it'd be awkward if i DIDN'T ask her out.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Why'd you settle for the record store when you could hipster Cyrano De Bergerac

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

hooray jess! here's a yuengling porter in yr honor:

http://www.yuengling.com/images/fine_beers/m_porter.jpg

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, jess, you are suave as a motherfucker. Well done!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This has been magnificent stuff, and I am pleased for and impressed with you, Jess! Good luck!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe no one has touched this:

as soon as i saw her big ol' ass, i started mentally backing out of it

But well done, Jess!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

thee next step is to do it in the butt.

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

your knowledge of the female gender is truly astounding

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"you're probably the best looking woman in this town."

!!! Wow. Yes, obviously talk to her again, mr suavington.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

:-) Most grand. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

the next step into my obvious transformation is to start beating all the editors that owe me money with the butt of my pistol.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

MATOS IS JUST LUCKY HE'S SO GODDAMN PROMPT.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

you must have made her day. seriously. people were so horrible as a rule when i worked "service industry" jobs that i would practically burst into grateful tears if somebody replied "you, too!" to my "have a nice day."

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

that's a wicked line dude, congratulations!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

tomorrow you have to go in wearing shades! and then you have to tip them down so you're sorta peering over them at her! and call her "babe" and stuff

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wallsoffame.com/assets/images/1099goodfellas2.jpg
l-r: tommy, strongo

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

the "in this town" bit is quite charming. it has a nice black and white movie feel to it.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

also you should say "gimme two sugars, sugar!"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

thank you slocki, you just gave me an even BETTER idea than that one

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

(throw "sugar in the raw" packet in front of her)

"hey, you dropped your nametag."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

aw yeah!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'm your number one non-dairy creamer!"

(so so sorry)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

why does something tell me i will never top today in my life

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Nonsense. It will improve.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i think the fact that i had to walk home for 40 minutes in the freezing cold rain with no umbrella was god evening things out

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Mind you, she may eventually discover this thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

WHEN WILL MY SECRET IDENTITY STOP GETTING ME INTO TROUBLE?!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha she won't even know its a secret!! She's just reading this thinking "his name is STRONGO?!?!?!!"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

haha she's gonna have to do a lot of ilx detective work to put all this together

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

well, if she says "hi, Strongo" to you when you next see her...

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

flex.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Silkscreen a Ma$e sweatshirt

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

the ideas are coming so fast and thick!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, forget i just said that

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I should have said "$ilk$creen"

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like Arli$$

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ew, now i have visions of robert wuhl in my head

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.stuartweitzman.com/xcauction/auction/images/robert_wuhl_9_24_02_6.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

well, i keep thinking of "the cotton ball mouse" which isn't pleasant either.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.comedycontact.com/images/robertwuhl.jpg
"Did someone say fast and thick?"

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, sorry i was kinda hyper earlier

xpost: beckett you're gonna get yours one day

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"you're gonna need a wide lens..."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Jesus, this thread has been ruined now. EURGH.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Just be glad I didn't go through with my "fast and Thicke" joke

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

give strongo here a grant

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i almost met alan thicke's brother once!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

you REALLY wanna impress the ladies, try that line

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"i AM alan thicke's brother"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

*swoon*

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

richard thicke

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHA dick thicke!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

(i got it!)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Nickname: "Slick"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"i AM alan thicke's brother"

That's my favorite White Zombie lyric

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

this is truly a disturbing universe

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

god, you know i just realized something, what if she has a boyfriend?!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

all my lotharioing will be for naught!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

He can't beat that line

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

He could beat the living shit out of you though

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, I'm assuming.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, but you forget i know joe pesci

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

this is gonna be like the thing i bring up in a few years when i try to once claim i was cool

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The Private Eye Joe Pesci?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man, it's Public Eye, I screwed that terrible joke up

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"i saved latin...what did you ever do??"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Fact checking jokes: c/d?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

right now i'd laugh at deuce bigalow

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i was ilx's shortest-lived hero

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

You mean, tallest-lived hero.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been lying the whole time about the height thing

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

this is the stuff of greatness

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Reviewing this thread, I think the key point is still the revelation that Monique Powell is REALLY hot

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

god, you know i just realized something, what if she has a boyfriend?!

It crossed my mind but I didn't want to spoil the dream.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

colin beckett otm

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

nancy on saturday night: "who is that girl? she gave me a boner."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hi jess. good work.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

hi di. thanks. i promise to try the pole thing eventually.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

PinkMoosePearl: i love you jess
PinkMoosePearl: and all you stand for
PinkMoosePearl: including yr j lo booty

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Whoa, http://theonlywaytobe.com/

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

beckett you diabolical...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm yet to find anything as stunning as DB's

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Not only is this website dissapointing, it has raised the disturbing thought that Save Ferris is still around.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah wtf that's a gip and a half

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Don't Stop Believin'" came on random Winamp, so now I can gaze at those original three pics and wistfully remember lost lust.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

here is where i shamefully admit i made one of them my desktop background

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Which?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

guess right and win a dollar

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I really wish I attended the "Ska Summit"

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.enamelband.com/prphoto/photos/music/MoniquePowell/Mo2water.jpg ?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

the winner!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

do you accept the players club card?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

OHHHH SHIT

http://www.brownbagmag.com/misc/skasummit/images/MoniquePowell9.JPG

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

this is like the final scene in 2001 isnt it?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i believe we can get this thread to 400 posts

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

as soon as beckett finishes whacking off

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

one more...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, i'm going to bed. remind me to tell you how it goes tomorrow.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm reminding you...

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

UPDATE

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

He has to wake up first!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Btw Jess, you must provide a picture of this girl. Stalk if necessary.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

oh he's awake.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, why was I not aware of this "Monique Powell" before this thread?!

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(I guess it could have been because I didn't listen to ska. Wekkm exceot for that one time in high school when I was in a ska band, but who wasn't really.)

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

my ska band was called A Man'skatta Eat

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

which is only marginally better than Oiblivion

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine was called Skatological. Oh wait, I only wish it was. It was actually Jumpin' Jupiter.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Judy Jetson and the Robotic Buttplugs

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i remember Save Ferris from the Warped Tour in like 98 or something

if that ass was bangin', it was too far away to see for sure.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, I was gonna go on ILE break this week, but y'know what? I'm gonna lurk for a week instead because YOU'RE MY FUCKING HERO. Go get her.

― Barima (Barima), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

This is way better than most soap operas.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

today I hope Strongo serenades her with Prince's "the most beautiful girl in the world" (but I'd advise against gett off at this stage)

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it would be something by Outkast.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Most Beautiful Girl In The World" as sung by Andre.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Well if he's gone soap opera for reals, all he has to do is squint and let the piano chords of manly lust do all the talking.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it would be something by Outkast.

Jess singing OutKast? Did I miss him changing his mind?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just being mean.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

That's what I do, you know.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"You know, the other day I heard this song and thought of you..." *plays "We Luv Deez Hoez"*

"Oh... OH JESS!" *cue rumpy-pumpy*

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure Dan speaks from the voice of experience here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, please come back & same your thread.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

It won't be the same.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps Strongo is exploding forth from his trousers even now.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Rocket from the crypt.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

she wasnt there today. bah.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

There's always tomorrow.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

given what's going on over at gear's, it's probably for the best.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

please, like i even read any of ilx anymore, other than this thread.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

You really should, in this case.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

there's buttplay and everything.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

how many times have i heard THAT before and ended up disappointed?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

well, you should catch up on it, at least until the delightful scent of santorum wafts its way over to this thread, too.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

which it certainly will.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I smelled buttsex in my flat in Italy when my roommate was buggering his boyfriend and I came home early. I agree, it's like nothing else I've ever smelled.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

me and my sister used to share this car and one time my friend and I smelled something afoul. It smelled of buttsex and was emanating from the headrest on passenger seat. The headrest?!!? My sister must've been pegging Mary Lou Retton.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, I seriously hope you have visited the Gear thread by now. In fact I will now catch up on the last 250 messages posted to confirm.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

ALRIGHT, PONY UP THE PR0NAGE, JACKO CHANNINGTON

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

my life sure has taken some odd turns of late

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Jerko Witholdington

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

hey you all have GEAR now to entertain you. fickle cunts.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I need so much

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

aww he's pouting

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

and the "original cast" of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy isn't cutting it

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont need you people anymore any damn way

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

make with the typey typey harvell

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

NEIN

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck you, where's Gear?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is running neck in neck in new answers with Gear's, but this one can win just by a tail. Fight, Strongo, fight and divulge the saucy tales.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

GEAR'S A ONE SHOT PONY...ALL HIS ENTERTAINMENT RELYS ON CHOOSING SLUTS FOR ROOMMATES...I'M ALREADY A SLUT!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

dude, what did you do

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

baby did a bad bad thing

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

You're all washed up, Harvell

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

aw come on, you weren't here, Gear was. what were we supposed to do?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

but i was out ruining my life further for your enjoyment!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

You stalked her, didn't you.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

We can't enjoy it if you don't divulge!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Run away... and don't look back.

http://movieartofsweden.com/images/1536_picture.jpeg

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

This turned into the end of Sunset Boulevard

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Och vs. ach

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

we've all left Gear to ramble on in the corner by himself and are now sitting in a semi-circle around you in your rocking chair, waiting patiently.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

so after work i am all miserable and depressed, so i walk up town determined to see if she's there (they dont have that many employees, so i hoped she was on the night shift). meanwhile, it's been raining all day, and as i get halfway there it just starts to pour and my wee little cheap-ass umbrella is no match for it and i get soaked but like at this point its like fuck it, i'm halfway there, i'll keep going. so i get there, and it's just about empty (because they're about to close), just her and the skittish gay dude. so i'm quite nervous at this point, given that i just potentially made an utter ass of myself in front of her yesterday, but she's all smiley and apologetic for me being all wet from the rain. and after she rings me up and gets my coffee (skittish gay guy is like taking the trash out and doing closing things) she says "we probably have a towel in the back if you want to dry off." yeah sure honey you could have said "asparagus is good for rubbing under your armpits to ward off hobgoblins" and i would have nodded like a bobblehead to bask in your presence for five minutes longer. so she leads me around the counter and gets me the towel and finally says "you know, it really cheered me up when you said that to me" and i said to myself "strongo, thems the sound of some panties droppin" and i was actually all like "uh duh yeah nice is good" like i'm lil abner or something. and so we get to exchanging pleasantries (we had already known each others names, really, just from customer-worker interaction over the last six months) and just as i'm about to actually ask her out or some such i lean in to hand her the towel and I TRY TO KISS HER BECAUSE I HAVE CLEARLY GONE ABSOLUTELY INSANE IN THE LAST THREE DAYS AND I FULLY BLAME ILX and amazingly through some divine act of jesus she doesnt pull away, and as um things are about to get heavy, the skittish gay guy who works there comes in the back and starts screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD" and i'm like wtf dude and she says "get away from me!" and KNEES ME IN THE GROIN. not hard, but just hard enough to make my legs buckle as if i am jerry lewis doing the charleston. she's looking all "shocked" and he puts on this very affected masculine voice and goes "i think you better leave now, we're closing." so meanwhile i'm like cupping my boys between my legs and hobbling out of there as if my pants were around my ankles in quite a bit of pain.

she gave me her phone number. i dont quite know whether or not i should call her.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

FIN

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

zuh?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

if things progress as they have been over the last few days, by friday i will be stealing bmw's while doing lines of coke off the asses of 15 year old vietnamese male prostitutes

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

dude you dont have to tell me!! i've been wandering around my house in a daze for liek the last two hours

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF?!@??#

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

wow.

did she give you her phone number before the knee or after it?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

though watching bush's press conference calmed me down immensely

xpost: before dude!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

wow.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, now is the time when we clarify and reason unsing science:

a) you kissed her

b) SHE KISSED YOU BACK YOU FOOL

c) gay dood came in, and she pretended to be molested by you and kicked you in yr fellas

d) You got her number.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I take it all back

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

!!!

You know you don't have to make things up just to compete with Gear, right?

(j/k...I think this can all work to your advantage, actually)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

haha should i post her phone number and then one of you guys can call?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a beautiful moment.

― Maria D (scott seward), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously i dont even give a fuck about any of this girl shit anymore...i mostly care about the fact that i cant go back to the only coffeeshop* in town!

*there is another, but it is populated by hippies and creepy old pensioners

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, you got her number after you got her knee in the groin?

xpost ah i see. maybe there's some policy against necking with customers so she had to pretend you were mauling her. at least give her a call, cause it's either that or another year of solo sexing.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

YHou should press charges so this can morph into an erotic courtroom drama

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont know how this story ranks against the cheese fry thing or the butt-prints in my teachers house story

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes i feel like interesting things only happen to me once every couple of years so i have a stories to tell in the down time

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Never underestimate the power of an interesting "this is how we met" story. Call her.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"hey baby, now that i've iced up my johnson, wanna come back to my place. if i turn the music up loud, you can barely hear my mom and her drunk of a boyfriend fighting."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"you had me at johnson"

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

you can call her and say "whew man do my balls ever hurt!" and then she'd feel all bad for causing such pain and promptly run over to your place and like, massage them and shit.
/12 yr old

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I think three johnson-icings is actually the official measurement of How Long You Should Wait To Call.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

did she seem SORRY that she kneed you in the groin?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

nb: i may have broken into the barcardi again a bit before i went out earlier tonight. i am quite sober now, however.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely she feels about about the balls-assault incident. It's already a sitcom.

(x-post)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

haha seriously, after the gear thread i was thinking "even on a good day, this is incredibly hard to believe." maybe this was my "reward" for having to listen to franz ferdinand four times today.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

how long were you making out?

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

oh at work, sorry, forgot.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, and SNOW PATROL omg wtf

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

honestly who the hell calls their band snow patrol

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

how long WERE you making out?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

That Cuba Gooding Jr. movie?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a band called Snow Patrol?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I've become Aja!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i'm gonna let this thread die down for a couple days and then call her

xpost: like 15 seconds. it was hardly "making out".

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't want to know how long you were making out

xpost. i bet they wanted moon patrol but got lawyered about it

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, you know all those "how do I talk to girls/guys" threads and all? Jess, you have a bucket full of conversation material right here, and the bucket has a sign on it that says "you kneed me in the balls." You don't have to be all "how do I act all casual and shit," you don't have to manufacture excuses to say things, you can talk about getting kneed in the balls. The conversation writes itself, obligatorily sweet-a-week-later awkwardnesses and all.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Mr Fancypants would pay like a million dollars to be you today, Jess.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

often, these days, at night, i will be lying in bed as i am about to fall asleep, and i will feel as if i am hurtling very fast in the dark towards a large, unknown, intractable black surface, and when i connect with that surface i will go splat and that is it

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont know quite what this has to with that, but there's a connection, i think

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

franz ferdinand.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

oh man, they suck!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i do have to say i feel a bit more comfortable going back from "ilx's hero" to "ilx's comedy monkey boy"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

such a fine line.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

all of my pride has soured into embarassment

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

don't get all weepy now. you've had a long day.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

...and you haven't finished your juice...

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm gonna go lay down. let us let this thread die down now.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

you're reminding me of Al Pacino's voiceover at the end of Carlito's Way

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

my balls hurt. i'm going to bed.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

goodnight strongo. fwiw i don't think this was embarrassing at all.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Getting digits and some smooching is not embarrassing. It's a bit on the "romantic comedy starring Rena Sofer and Antonio Sabato Jr., from the makers of _Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!_" side, but it's not embarrassing. Balls heal, chicks dig awkwardness, and a kiss is a kiss. Sleep it off, Strongo, and tomorrow will become the oyster wherein the gritty shitass sand of your life will become a smooth, opulent pearl. Or, yeah, that.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Why in hell would a gay guy freak out upon seeing a guy and a girl kiss anyway? Jesus christ... do you live in an American sitcom, Jess?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

was the girl Debra Messing?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, Donut Bitch, the record store job is the wacky 'main set,' the coffee shop is the slightly less wacky second set, and home is the part where he calls Orson every night to talk about crazy Earth ways.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

So, who's Small Wonder, then?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

DB, please. Small bot girl saying 'wacky' things...ring any bells?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

What?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway, I want to know if this girl's skittish gay co-worker is played by either Chris Catan or Bronson Pinchot.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/sounds/801/LETSFIGHTINGLOVESONG.wav

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

fyi jess:
1) awkward flirting
2) ask out
3) smooches
4) sexing

for future reference

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(getting kneed in the huevos can be inserted between any of those steps, actually)

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

this is truly an outstanding story in any case

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i liked the part when the coworker came in and said "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD"! i mean who reacts like that to people kissing anymore!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone either played by Chris Catan or Bronson Pinchot.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Protect my balls"

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

that's chris KATTAN you poseur!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Or maybe he's played by this guy...

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/clowell.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Settlers Of Kattan.

A Strategic Romp Through A Hexagonal Maze To Showcase He Who Can Effect The Most Obvious Gay Man Stereotypes All The Way To The Rose Garnished Road To Victory.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Or she's like MARRIED or something and had to cover.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know why I began that sentence with "or".

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd go hoarse if i yelled 'oh my god!' at everyone kissing publicly in this town

that is a great story, the george bush detail made it ever greater though, like an epic

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i've had some time to think about this (in my sleep) and all i can figure is that a. gay dude was being "theatrical" (everyone in the shop seems "friendly" enough) b. she got embarassed c. she got nervous since i guess (a) i wasn't supposed to be behind the counter and (b) i wasnt supposed to be sexin the employees.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

if some aspect of my life doesn't calm down soon though - money, career, personal life, family - i'm just gonna go live in the woods.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

davo crockington

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

It all sounds great to me. Call her, ask her out, make sweet sweet love to her. Assuming your nadgers still work.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

well i have to go listen to snow patrol and franz ferdinand for another eight hours straight

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

first, that is

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

OH TIS A HARD ROAD I TREAD

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, where are the pics of her you promised us? Huh?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

momentofcojonesimpact.mpg

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if the ball-breaking was actually an 'adult' form of the old 'playground flirting' routine.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe at this point, I'd be happy for a girl to knee me in the balls. At least it shows she cares enough to do so.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

what a romantic!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

she shouldn't have kneed strongo like that, I'm feeling rather sad now.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway, I blame the skittish guy! Why couldn't he have just stayed out the back?

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

jess aren't your balls like five feet from the ground anyway?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

she's a kick boxing champion!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

they begin there....

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

she was a high stepper? (xpost)

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Poor, poor strongo.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

are you being forced to review snow patrol? didnt i mention them on aim to you? i think i remember you wondering if i made it all, and well, im sorry, but i didnt. anyways, if you want to recover from your "injury", you might need to upgrade to 151.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

question is: do I now do the same w. my coffeeshop girl?

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

knee her in the groin? maybe.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Or you could just yell "Oh my god oh my god!" at her. Chicks go for that sort of thing.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a coffeeshop girl once upon a time. A goth one. We went out for, um, coffee somewhere else and she turned out to be one of those super-Christian goth girls. Cool aside from that, though. I later would buy coffee from her in another shop, in another city.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I think everybody has had a coffeeshop girl/guy at some point.

― Camtron (Cameron), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I certainly remember yours.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i WAS a coffeeshop guy and had nobody at all. i rarely served anyone within 15 years of my age though.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

damn me and my going-to-Minneapolis-for-the-Pixiesness

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I miss EVERYTHING

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

You were there in spirit. So how were they anyway?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

one of those super-Christian goth girls

are there alot of these or something?!

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.christiangoth.com

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(OMG this is the best site ever)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

y'know, like the chick in Evanesence.(sp)

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"How do I become goth?" One does not become goth, one already is....it is not a matter of dressing in black & painting your nails black. Goth is a state of mind. The REAL question that should be asked is how do I become a Christian? Becoming a Christian is a step of faith...a step in surrendering to the Lord Jesus & excepting Him as the Lord of all....please look on the site menu on the main page. Locate pages like: "Show Me the Way"..."The Blue Rose Society" and others."

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"...listen to Black Tape for a Blue Girl, gain 30 pounds, etc"

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a sad story Jess, and I feel disappointed, but I don't think all hope is lost. If she kissed you back for 15 seconds, I would imagine the kneeing was an "Oh shit, I might get sacked" reaction, and she might be very apologetic if you call her - though I would give it a while.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think it's sad! it's kind of exhilarating and weird!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I felt sad - I wanted Jess to get the girl, and was very happy when that seemed to be what was happening.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

At least he got the knee.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, we all know American sitcoms have happy endings.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Whereas in British ones all the characters die.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

hope is hardly lost. it's really not all that bad to be in the position to receive an apology/explanation. i mean, if it turns out she was just reacting very very badly to being 'caught' in an unexpected situation then jess hardly has to do any, er, lotharioing when he walks into the coffeeshop for the first time in three days/weeks/months. it's as if she's accidentally spilled coffee on you (this is basically the best thing that a pretty girl can do to you while you've both got clothes on) only with everything about that situation to the power of, oh, a squillion.

(tep otm, basically.)

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Having coffee spilled on you vs Catching a knee to the groin

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Depends on where it's spilled.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i did say a squillion.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

she has a boyfriend :-(

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, strongo. :(

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

that does suck, dude, I'm sorry. but at least you got a kiss out of it. (er, I don't know how much that actually appeases you here but it's something, right?)

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

LIAR! SLUT! WHORE!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

weirdest week of my life

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so disappointed.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Just take it as an ego boost, then, and move on -- and remember that they all have boyfriends at some point, but never for long.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

she told me i should still "give her a call tonight or tomorrow". i am sorely tempted even though i know it would be wrong wrong wong.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

oh i had to listen to RYAN ADAMS today. both discs. TWICE. one hand giveth, and the other knees me in the groin.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, the girl situation was bad enough without the Ryan Adams!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not like you'd be calling her with your cock. Call her.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay hang on- she told you to call her tonight or tomorrow before or after the groin kneeing? Before or after the boyfriend was mentioned?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

call her, maybe she wants to invite you to a threesome

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

hell, if you can call her with your cock, call me.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd call her either way. Unless her boyfriend is a bouncer or a bodybuilder or something.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck. to add to matos's semi-consolation, she was obv attracted to you enough to not to stop until she got caught, and then (if i can be annoying pop-psych here) overreacting as a result of her guilt/confusion.. so i mean if you do all that to a girl then don't go bathing with the toaster tonight yeah?

(many xposts, but the thing about the call backs me here up i think)

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, make sure not to read any other threads at all anymore forever, or the ILE collective might lose a little credibility.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe I'll knee her in the groin?

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

when did ilx turn so amoral?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

turn?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i blame myself

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

There's no legitimate moral issue here yet. You have next to nothing to go on. She said she had a boyfriend. She said call her. A doesn't have moral bearing on B; at the most it has a moral bearing on things which could follow from B, but B is necessary to even find that out. By itself, without followup or cues, "I have a boyfriend" is essentially an empty statement.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

(In other words, your first post shouldn't have been "she has a boyfriend," it should have been "she said to call her," because that's the content. The rest is noise until you get a better signal.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

haha tep i think what i am trying to say is that if the opportunity presents itself, i will fuck her until her head twists around like linda blair. which would be bad.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I would befriend her regardless; she may be super-awesome and sweet as a friend and it could be that her relationship isn't working out too well and she might need you as a (shoulder to cry on)/(love slave) after the breakup.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't even know yet whether that would be bad! You're all "don't go into the basement" and you don't even know if it's a horror movie, the basement could be full of Muppets and punch.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

OH NO NOT MUPPETS

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

GOOD MUPPETS

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(obvious punch joke skipped)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.srv-sb.org/grafik1/evil-muppets.jpg

RUN AWAY

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

all i know is that if i have to listen to any more bad britpop i'm gonna leap across the counter and rip the throat out of the next person who buys that clapton-plays-robert-johnson cd with my teeth

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

it could be that her relationship isn't working out too well and she might need you as a (shoulder to cry on)/(love slave) after the breakup.

Esp. if you cause the breakup. Homewrecker.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

tep not quite otm.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

picture funny.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Sure I am! (Maybe. About what?)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always been amoral.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

no shit

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

haha dare we dredge up the "long distance relationships" thread

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

jess u a freak

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha either way this isn't a moral question. He's not your friend and you don't know the nature of their relationship.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

also, you want to fuck lenny kravitz, which puts you in a league with church desecrators and cast of tv's models inc.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"call me" + "i have a boyfriend"
=
"come over sometime" + "i live near a nuclear power station"
=
"you have a great ass" + "i'm your new parole officer"
=
"thing you would like to do" + "thing that, when coupled with last thing, is likely to result in a whole new bad thing"

you get me?

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Wanting to fuck Lenny isn't amoral. It's sensible.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

If you like her, try to spend more time with her. If she is sexually unavailable, that will be frustrating but if her personality is up to snuff you will enjoy being around her more than you will enjoy writing her off because she's in a relationship.

If you diss her now, she is less likely to hook up with you if/when she becomes available later. If you befriend her and treat her well, she might ditch her boyfriend to be with you (the caveat being that if she does so the number of "get out of fuck-up free" cards you will have in the relationship is drastically reduced).

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

(my poor phrasing makes it appear as if the thing you would like to do is "a great ass" which, oh lord, isn't an implication this place needs right now)

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Alternately, you could throw voles at her and shout "FOUL TEMPTRESS BEGONE" when she gets off of work.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

you get me?

No no, that's not necessarily true at all. It could be true. But there just isn't enough information. First of all, she might not actually have a boyfriend, or may as well not have one. Secondly, we have no idea what having a boyfriend means either to her or to the guy in question.

One phone call answers a lot of questions; right now, optimism can't do any damage.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post)Hahaha Dan this is JESS not ROGER ADULTERY!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i imagine it would be somewhat difficult to initiate (even the semblance of) a platonic relationship at this point, dan. but yeah i suppose that's good advice nonetheless.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"optimism can't do any damage" vs "if the opportunity presents itself, i will fuck her until her head twists around like linda blair"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf - just steal her from her boyfriend

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with half of what Dan says and the underlying sentiment, but think that it's never a good idea to be with someone who left someone to be with you. But that's a separate conversation that isn't really in play here.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess can you, like, have her post on this thread about herself? I think we really need to hear both sides...

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

(The point of that isn't so much "YAY YOU LEFT HIM TO BE WITH ME" as much as it is "YAY YOU LEFT HIM PREPARE FOR THE TILT-A-WHIRL")

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I know, (I know, that's why it's a separate conversation and not just FOUL DAN, BEGONE!)

(Couldn't decide) if I wanted parentheses or not.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

think that it's never a good idea to be with someone who left someone to be with you

yes, i agree. one finds oneself wondering if they're not next in line.

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

you got a point tep. i suppose this is what i get from having learnt about relationship dynamics more from sitcoms than real life. yknow if jess were to post the link to her (no doubt existent) friendster profile, we might be able to make more accurate assessments concerning the nature of the relationship.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Vahid, technically everyone's either someone who left someone to be with someone else or someone who's been left by someone for someone else.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

one finds oneself wondering if they're not next in line.

And whether they're with someone who needs to be with someone -- whoever's the best of those who are available -- or someone who wants to be with them. But that's relationship stuff; Jess is talking about Blairing, not relationshipping.

Alex, that's a terrible thing to think, if you think it.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, who gives a shit about her boyfriend (unless in some weird twist of fate/time/distance/job, it's my girlfriend, in which, please have some compassion), just go for it.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Although, if she knees you in the balls because she LIKES you, imagine what her bouncer/bodybuilder boyfriend will do.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it's a huge reduction, yes, but it's not less of one than to say just because someone left someone to be with you that they will leave you to be with someone else.

Not that it's necessarilly applicable in this situation anyway.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

To Tep obv.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Although, if she knees you in the balls because she LIKES you, imagine what her bouncer/bodybuilder boyfriend will do.

"You asshole! This is for making a move on my girlfriend!" *bouncer kneels down and swallows Jess to the hilt while confused pr0n music starts up in the background*

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

(ok I think I should leave work now)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not even a reduction so much as something that skips over everyone who's single for any appreciable period. I honestly can't even figure out how you could mean it.

I was single for two years; my current girlfriend hadn't seen anyone seriously for about that length of time, when we met; who did either of us leave, for heaven's sake?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

:-O

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i think the big thing is that, you know, i dont NEED any adding headaches right now. i DONT need a "girlfriend", like, at all. i mean, i am absolutely so broke that when i think about i feel like weeping, i live with moms, i have no idea "what i am doing with my life". i just wanted sex goddamnit!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

sing "downlow" to her

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

or "My Boo"!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Tep, well I presume you left your previous relationship with the idea that at some point you would be dating someone else, yes? Whether you knew the person at that point is sort of beside my point though, I will admit. It was an intentionally overbroad statement

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Ask her if she has any girlfriends you can ball, Jess!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

if there was a song that could express what i feel right now it'd be some weird r. kelly/jesus lizard mashup

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

use the word "hilt" in a sentence to her

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Richard X should get on that shit.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Well yeah, that's like conflating "people who kill once in awhile" with "serial killers," for pete's sake. Let's be reasonable.

Jess, dude, call her before you worry about girlfriend vs sex etc. If nothing happens with her, nothing happens, but possibly she has friends she'll introduce you to, and so on. There are all kinds of unfilled blanks here.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"Well yeah, that's like conflating "people who kill once in awhile" with "serial killers," for pete's sake. Let's be reasonable."

Look I'm not a "serial killer", I just like to murder the occassional hooker, okay.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jenny, there's this guy I want you to meet. He tongued me down in the coffeeshop the other day, so I kneed him in the nuts. Then I thought of you."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Mama always said it ain't murder if they're dirty.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

... xpost.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

RUN XTINA, RUN!!!!!!!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"i will never you, mouthbreather"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

but what if they're drrrrty?

(xpost) GODDAMMIT MY FINGERS IS TOO SLOW

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T NEVER ME!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

This is a very inspiring thread.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

This Jenny sounds like a good girl.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

(This thread is best when read while listening to "Maps".)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread's gonna hit 1000 just as Jess gets her shirt off, and the Age of Aquarius will be upon us.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

god i am so tired

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

this job is fucking killing me

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, just save up the money and get a nice quality call girl.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

PAYCHECK PAYCHECK PAYCHECK

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

NO THE MOTHERFUCKING D12 RECORD ISNT OUT YET YOU COCKSHITTING ABERCROMBIE PARASITE ITS GOING TO SUCK YAK SWEATY TAINT ANYWAY

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

And if it doens't work, at least Ryan Adams and Snow Dogs will be there to comfort you

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

If you are accidentally teleported to New Hampshire over Memorial Day weekend, I promise to buy you all the cider you can handle, Jess.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"yak-sweaty taint"?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

dude i told you i was tired!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

so..so..tired...zzzzzzz

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

How did the yak sweat... no, never mind.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Baffling Dan's Vegan mind: YAK SWEAT.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I play football with the guy from snow patrol, jess. he's a nice guy. OK goalie.

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd probably be making more if i was picking up discarded stubs at the dog track

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

that seems like good, reasonable advice. i would be worried about the power balance being out of whack since she knows that you've got a thing for her, but this is apparently an unproductive line of thinking - i spend most of my time worrying about this and thus tend to alienate people/end up with
game-playing mentalists.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

quit. write a pay-per-page internet autobiography.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i need to find me a wealthy dowager

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

AN ACTUAL SEARCH RESULT FROM AN IMAGE SEARCH FOR "DOWAGER"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

damn skippy

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i would be worried about the power balance being out of whack since she knows that you've got a thing for her, but this is apparently an unproductive line of thinking

I don't like encouraging people to think in terms of power balances like that, but even if you were to do so: it's an easy-to-accept myth (but a myth nonetheless) that the power flows to the person in whom the interest has been shown. Being interested in the interest returns power to the provider. The interest can be currency, and retailers and customers have different kinds of power.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

no the power balance can work for him cuz then he gets to ball her friend and meanwhile this girl works up desire and the he gets to ball her too - like in the movies.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

blount is the only one talking any sense!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

You forgot the scene where the friends lez up in the bathtub.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Well obviously Jess has the power, he's got HULK in his name! I was only talking in the abstract.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Bizarre Jess Triangle

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is making me uncomfortable right now

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

a valid response to an international group of internet users demanding intimate information about your romantic life.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, "international" sounds so devious there.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is a bit low on butt sex

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, "international" sounds so devious there.

WE ARE TERRORISTS OF LOVE. YOU WILL KILL WITH YOUR COCK WHEN WE GIVE THE WORD. THE WORD IS "NICKELBACK"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

ok now the international group of internet users are demanding butt sex too

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

If the word was Nickelback, I wouldn't even be able to rudely elbow with my cock, much less kill with it.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

That's what you think.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm actually more disturbed by accidentally implying I can normally elbow with my cock as long as Nickelback stays out of it, than I am by Anthony being so authoritative about what I can do with it, but anyway, back to Jess ...

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

*checks back in after another full work afternoon*

Whoa. Erm. I'd say 'good luck' but I'm not too sure what I'd be wishing good luck for at this point. El Diablo's point about the horror of Ryan Adams added to it all strikes me as the most poignant note (but which bad Britpop were you listening to anyway?).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

haha all of it

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought you liked Pulp at least!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

matos otm

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Anthony being so authoritative about what I can do with it

I'm being authoritive about what the international internet consortium can MAKE you do with it

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, phew.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

this scans like a jimmy eats world song, i'm v. dissapointed.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

are you listening? whoaoo-oo-oo-oo-oo

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

haha ned, lets put it this way, the next time someone tells you "rock is back" you punch them in the cock. hard.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

hang around that store long enough and you'll undoubtedly hear that "grunge is back"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

we listened to evanesence at the end of the day and it sounded like melt-banana

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

The Majority Report is using "Maps" in the bumpers tonight.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

the next time someone tells you "rock is back" you punch them in the cock. hard.

Oh, that's easily done.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, SNOW PATROL people, honestly omg wtf

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha! The new bone of contention, this band (other ILXors have praised them, I have yet to hear it).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i kept hoping for some sort of baha men thing with dwayne wanye and talking dogs, but no such luck

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ARE YOU LISTENING TO THE NONSENSE I AM SPEAKING SO TIRED

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

don't be a pussy, jess.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you called her yet?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.amath.com/images/phone.jpg

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Like The Egyptian Lover, D-I-A-L A F-R-E-A-K

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Maps" is fucking amazing. I am annoyed that I left my irritation with everything else I've heard by them put me off of checking out that song.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

even though i like 'em i recognise it is an anomaly in their catalogue

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Hm. Dan's actually tempting me to listen in there.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"maps" is an amazing song. the big picture of karen o is about the only thing that makes my job okay sometimes.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

(no, i didnt call her)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

NED YOU SHOULD. It sounds like a lost _Hyaena_-era Siouxsie track!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

it is an amazing song. i wish i liked the rest of their music.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm! Well Spencer mentioned the MBV noise the guitarist makes, that caught the ear. Stripey was talking about it the other day too. I honestly don't think much about them at all unless someone else talks about 'em; they're one of those bands I heard so goddamn much about so quickly that I was completely annoyed and tuned out.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

TO: JESS

http://www.girlfriendstealer.com/

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i feel so dirty

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone up for some cut lunch?

http://www.sopraffina.com/images/food/sandwich.jpg

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

you "Maps" fans don't even like "Y Control"?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 15 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

no, i like the last three tracks quite a bit

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

plus how can a band comprised of nick cave, chrissie hynde, and eugene levy be a bad thing?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

actually i do like "y control" a lot.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm trying to decide whether that combination reminds me more of the Immaculuate Consumptive or Ghostbusters.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm kind of biased because I'm going to marry Karen O

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

What, you told Fred Durst the engagement was off?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

he's gonna be my best man!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

kelly o, karen o...it's all gooooooooood

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

karen o or kelly o?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

whoops xpost

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

he's gonna be my best man!

I'm sure he'll live up to that billing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

http://tvtotal.prosieben.de/imperia/md/images/tv-total/web/downloads/fotos/2003/kw26/18.jpg

(x-post)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Mike Skinner!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.beatscene.co.uk/images/itm.jpg

(I was looking for their Snow Patrol cover, but this'll do)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 April 2004 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Snow Patrol are utterly wretched. You have my sympathy Strongo.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a snow patrol album, I bought it coz I liked the title, I think I only ended up listening to half of it. Strongo, do you mind if I draw a picture inspired by this thread?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Goddammit, Jess! I was so sure you'd get lucky I'd prepared this "creative ditty" on your behalf:

[The person who makes the sound of creative ones of the Hulkingtons]
OH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH

I and I sees directly
I think of that you think that I would like to know
The aforementioned I, I am dangerous, a little
The girl, I think that we would like to show

My Strongo Love, it can obtain
I think of that you think that I would like to know
Strongo Love
The girl, I think that we would like to show

It has the clean car
I think of that you think that I would like to drive that
I did not play, the I am a little dangerous did not mean that it drives
Do to my lintel bucket to keep accompanying, tear

CHORUS

Come in baby, your internal organs which?
Or what? We would like to make love

As for me in my time
The lock it keeps accompanying, to hide the key would like
Only the water, the baby you obtain
If hunger, take my biting scar being

CHORUS

Of the desired thing where...
I think that the file would like to designate my my nail as I, is thought

CHORUS

Strongo Love is that right
Me no one can have sexual intercourse it
The rag of the skin of my bear was obtained - OH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH
I obtained the fireplace, excessively - OH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH
And I am directly the baby of wildness - OH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH
All things which I can make you - OH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH

Strongo Love, it is!
That is that, ha ha!

(Adapted from an "ENGRISH TRANSLATION" of 'Jungle Love')

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

OUCH

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"I am directly the baby of your wildness"

― Morisso Dayington (Barima), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, Jess, I've crushed on a girl with a boyfriend for 2 years, and THAT'S a whole crazy arena of awkward triangle-ness. Meeting her mates is U&K.

But really, do you not want a girlfriend because you're committing yourself to your Fortress of Solitude lifestyle and want a less complicated life, because you're somewhat sensitive about the state of your life as listed above or because...er, I can't think of a third (and that's a better Four Weddings reference than the one I might have made involving Hugh and Andie in the rain re: you in the rain pre-kissing).

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I second the notion of getting to know her and meeting her friends. It could be the gateway to chubby girl nirvana.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 April 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"if there was a song that could express what i feel right now it'd be some weird r. kelly/jesus lizard mashup "

this line is from "badlands 2004"

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"i wanna see you move your body like the worm you are, ma"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"At this moment, I didn't feel shame or fear, but just kind of blah, like when you're sitting there watching 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.'"

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

springtime is for lovers

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Eugene Levy? You mean Max Weinberg!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Also - Hitler springtime babushka.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Did anyone else hear that Karen O is going out with Spike Jonze?

― Magic City (ano ano), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Poor Karen.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Tall Singers, Foolish Choices

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

2 years, barima? try FOUR. amateurs, feh.

jonze is married to sophia coppola, no?

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Not anymore.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah, it says here they broke up while i was on holiday in december.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Maps" is fucking amazing.

i'm in the video! i'm in the video! whee!

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 15 April 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Until NOW, this thread had 777 posts.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Maps is the shittiest song ive ever heard in my life you people have retarded ears seriously.

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

if !!! are worst live band you've ever seen and maps is the worst song you've ever heard, you're not doing too badly.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

how do you pronounce !!! ?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"the three exclamation marks"?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

chk-chk-chk, or so it says on my copy of Guiliani

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

big bam boom

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I will call them "les tres exclamation marks", makes 'em sound like a bunch of outlaws.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I just met a girl who is six feet tall and am using this thread as a blueprint for our eventual relationship. First I have to get her to work at a coffee shop.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

then you have to get some balls!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

uh oh I think someone got served.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

and not with coffee.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

(i'm sorry. i didn't even mean that. it was just... right there.)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

deez nuts swing low

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 15 April 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

if !!! are worst live band you've ever seen and maps is the worst song you've ever heard, you're not doing too badly.

but these acts ARE REALLY HORRIBLE

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Thursday, 15 April 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

You make a compelling argument Pablo.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Thursday, 15 April 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

What part of "I am annoyed that I left my irritation with everything else I've heard by them put me off of checking out that song" would lead you to assume that I don't think that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are more horrible than good?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 April 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i refuse to accept that maps is worse than, say, knock three times.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

get this crap off my thread

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

chaki, i had to listen to DIDO today FUCKING DIDO and then like "junkie xl" and "doves", so you are so fucking off the money about "maps" being the worst song ever you dont even know!!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

this job is giving me varicose veins too

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i can FEEL them growing

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Kick your customers for exercise.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean...fucking DIDO, people!!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

coffee girl looks so hot with her hair down i had blue balls all day

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you have any control over what gets played? Who picks the music?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it's a form of hazing since he's the new guy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

and then someone bought it! because it was playing! "she shure has a pretty voice!" yes, NOW I STAB YOU WITH BIC IN EYES!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is seriously going to end up being the longest in ilx history, i can just feel it

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

What happened with the coffee girl?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

we dont want to talk about it.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

But how can you hate on Doves, man? They used to be Sub Sub, you know! You've been tricked into self-tribe-hating!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

oh after the dido thing i had stabbed the pencil into my ears so many times the blood had clotted up and i couldnt hear anyway

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

are you allowed to put on your own selections ever?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway, coffee girl and i had lunch today. sadly, i think i am luv, l-u-v.

― broko heartington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, but first i must answer three riddles

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

did it not go well?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

no, it went a little too well!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(and, no, not like that)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you have some insane Dido-loving boss, or what?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

they sure do love them some british white people music!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jess's manager is a drummer for the rock band Gay Dad."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

does your store sell young heart attack cds?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

no, but i'll be having one next week

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe tomorrow you will get some David Gray, to change things up a bit.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

so about this "i have a boyfriend" business then...

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Comedy demands that coffee-shop girl loves Dido.

"... before turning the Bic on himself"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

if i had a time machine i would seriously be assassinating radiohead before they made the bends like five minutes

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a feeling by the time I check this thread again in an hour there will be a further 100 posts.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

You could just tell them that nine years later, they'd still be playing Creep, and they'd do it themselves.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

ned come back in another year and the basic schtick will be about the same

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Doubt it, Andrew, as they'd simply hate committing suicide, as expected.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"aging dork is lovelorn and broke"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, you're the ILX everyman (and woman). (tossing you a Kleenex) Here, blow.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do you summon the DanMonster so?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Depending on me mood, yielding to tempation is easier than ignoring it, Andrew.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

You could just tell them that nine years later, they'd still be playing Creep, and they'd do it themselves.

Carefully phrased.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

you have to tell us about the lunch.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i had a light white wine and chilled apricot preserves over vanilla bean ice cream

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, no

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

This is the thread where we predict which poncey Brit bands Strongo will be forced to listen to at work.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 15 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

you know you want to.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 15 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

look, i'ma go get somethin to eat and watch law and order and maybe drink a beer. i might call her later or i might not so if i dont i'll come back and talk some more.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Dido is strange. She's a whipping-girl around here (=civilization) and so being contrarian I sometimes think "she can't be that bad". And occasionally I hear something like Don't Leave Home off her current album Alanis Morissette Died For My Sins, and I think "fair play, she's written a song about heroin". Then I see the video, and realise that she really is just writing a song about how she will be the only thing you'll ever need, and her love will keep you warm. Eek.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 April 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I know a lot has happened since that post, but "Knock Three Times" isn't that bad!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Thursday, 15 April 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i dunno... i'm not too fond of it, and i usually love saccharine 70s bubblegum.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 15 April 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

see, my thinking is that i'm a disagreeable balding fat guy with no prospects, and ANY girl that shows an interest in me should be clung to like a rat infested lifeboat, slowly sinking.

(i didn't call her.)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

you're acting like the day's over.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

oh the cosmic day is surely over for strongo

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i grow old, i grow old, trousers rolled, eat a peach?, etc.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

J. Alfredo Prufockington

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw, c'mon, how can anyone hate "Thank You"?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Where to begin.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

TAKE THE MUSIC CHAT OUTSIDE

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

omg talking of michaelgelo DO YOU SEE!!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

see, my thinking is that i'm a disagreeable balding fat guy with no prospects, and ANY girl that shows an interest in me should be clung to like a rat infested lifeboat, slowly sinking.

Jess, let me remind you that:

a) you are failing to apply the "how Woody Allen do I sound?" test to your inner monologues: you're only a heartbreak away from "anyone who loves me is terrible because I'm terrible so I hate them" bitterness;

and more importantly, b) Jon Williams has had sex. Your prospects are immense.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

We always knew that, Tep.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

not to mention the size of your packet

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Emo burn!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

tep i crossed that particular mental rubicon long ago

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

call her strongo! do it for the kids!

― rgeary (rgeary), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

c'mon, i'm on the edge of my goddamn seat here

― rgeary (rgeary), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

i do have a huge cock, though, so i guess that's something

xpost: no! i am tired and bloated and want ice cream

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"Why must I fall in love with any girl who pays the slightest amount of attention to me?"

― ModJ (ModJ), Thursday, 15 April 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

ModJ is doing pretty well on this thread

My local coffee shop girl is like the proto-jess girl. And she's hot. and from Idaho!

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 16 April 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

funk funk funy funk. i am a drunken fool wishing jess good luck in all of his endevours. yo if you want to turn on a coffeeshop person order espresso straight. milk is for wimps. tips are not a suggestion but rather rent.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

yo if you want to turn on a coffeeshop person order espresso straight. milk is for wimps.

he's drunk but he's right!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:12 (twenty-one years ago)

aaron is more coherent drunk than i am at any time on this thread

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. i marked my territory tonight

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

you do realise if a relationship develops she's going to find out about ILX eventually..

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i am figuring out how to navigate having completely thrown away my morals first

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

now why would you say a thing like that?

x-post

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

first time in six months, and you'd think i felt something other than suicidal.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:18 (twenty-one years ago)

zuh? buh?

OH MY GOD

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i would love to say that i am always right but really i am always drunk.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i need to go into hiding for a while

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:20 (twenty-one years ago)

hommo seedington

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

876 posts, and nothin but cats

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"i have made it with a woman. inform the men."

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously, this is how it works. one week. then like, two years.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm gonna drop the boys back off at the dry cleaners tomorrow to be put back in storage.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.gotfuturama.com/Multimedia/FrameGrabs/1ACV04/Grabs/pic00271.jpg

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i think you need to get into building dioramas.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

dohh

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 05:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe I didn't pay attention to this thread for a week 'cause I thought it was about alternative spellings of the word "girls"! It is great.

Between this and Gear's thread it is clear that love's in the air.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Friday, 16 April 2004 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

love's in the air.

is that what that is?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 07:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont think this thread is great. i think its sad and depressing.

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Friday, 16 April 2004 07:31 (twenty-one years ago)

chaki otm

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 16 April 2004 07:34 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry, that "marking my territory" comment seems overly nasty, but really it just feels like a reaction to the whole situation, and the caricaturing of it on this thread, which i have been an equally guilty party to. this girl, who i have "known" for six months now, who i have spent those six months seeing every day, once a day, who i have talked to, cracked jokes with, "flirted" with, or otherwise just stared at longingly...i finally worked up the nerve to say something to her, to do something impulsive for once in my life on the odd chance it would turn out good...and all this crazy, horrible bullshit comes of it. and i'm not just talking about the "keeeeeerazy" aspects like being kneed in the nuts or whatever. i'm talking about it turning out that she's as great as i figured out slowly over those six months and she has a fucking BOYFRIEND and not just the frustration of her having a boyfriend which would pass but the fact that she's going to pull the mealy mouthed "i dont know if i'm still in love with him" routine and the fact that *I* would bother even getting caught up in it out of desperation or whatever but then that i would be so foolish as to even entertain the idea that being the "interloper" in this situation would be a GOOD idea, at a moment where i cant even really deal with a girlfriend, and THEN that i would go out tonight and sleep with her out of any combination of the above. it's not that i regret it (as i generally live under a "i regret nothing!" rule of thumb), but i made a promise to myself, ages ago, when i was hurt very badly by a girl who decided it would be better to suck off a co-worker behind the fridge at work rather than end our relationship which had long since dissolved into acrimony, that i would never "do that", that i would never be either of the parties who would engender that situation. and i broke that promise and i'm deeply disappointed in myself. and, to a lesser extent, in her. and i have very little respect for anyone in this situation, right now, except for the poor schlub on the other end of this little bizarre love triangle, whom i pray i will never meet lest i perform some form of emotional seppuku in front of him to atone. not that i think this rates with making up W.M.D.'s or cancelling lance link secret chimp as far as crimes against humanity go, but i feel a very basic level of disappointment with the whole situation, really. and you guys can sit there and tell me how it's alright because i'm strongo and other dude is chumpy who doesn't post to ile, but it's not okay and i'm sorry to rain on everyone's funny parade here and you're all more than welcome to continue talking about bubblegum music or the yeah yeah yeahs or my job or the price of snow patrol in guam. but i think i need to lay low for a while until this is all sorted out. so if you don't seem me around for a couple days or a week, that's why.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 April 2004 07:55 (twenty-one years ago)

strongo, email me when you get the chance, ok?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 16 April 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i feel a bit bad now :(

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 08:29 (twenty-one years ago)

that's what we are
we all want a love bizarre

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 16 April 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Yr single, you really should just be disappointed in her. Also I'm kinda thinking the gay guy might know the boyfriend, just to be helpful

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Friday, 16 April 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hmm, i wouldn't be disappointed in her. it might be fair enough to not trust her but it seems a little hypocritical to be disappointed in her. also i can't say i wouldn't do what jess did, in fact i know damn well i would.. and probably completely without guilt

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 16 April 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too. I doubt I could do what she did, though.

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Friday, 16 April 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

ModJ is doing pretty well on this thread

*preens*

― ModJ (ModJ), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't add anything useful to Strongo's post, so I'll just say that last night I saw Rebirth Brass Band again, one of my favorite bands in the world, and danced next to a perfectly chubby girl most of the night, and thought, "I wonder if Jess would appreciate her as much as I do."

(a great night except the band was tired, she wasn't actually directly dancing with me [but it's all academic anyway since I have a girlfriend], and I woke up hungover and dragged myself to work)

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

2 years, barima? try FOUR. amateurs, feh.

Four stretches into the realms of the truly insane.

On that note, I called her last week. FROM MY BOSS'S PHONE IN FUCKING GHANA WHERE I'LL BE FOR FRIGGIN' AGES (or, if I'm lucky, less than 2 weeks). And we flirted a lot (I think). And it's fucking mind-screwing and this is why Jess has had my sympathies all the way through (the Strongo Love post borne out of my warped sense of humour notwithstanding*).

*I was gonna quote 2 of my fave Beastie Boys lines about girls with boyfriends and girls with big round butts, but knowing Jess is now hurt changes that.

― Barima (Barima), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, I'm sorry we haven't always got on. Take care chum and don't stay away too long.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Something about the same, esp the last bit.

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope you returns as a better, happier and taken* man.

*You said she's really great and I think it would be the best thing to come out of it - rather a dumped boyfriend (if she honestly isn't happy) than walking away from it all wishing none of it ever happened.

― Barima (Barima), Friday, 16 April 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't encourage him.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

best wishes strongo.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 16 April 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

likewise

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 16 April 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever happens, I hope things work out for you Jess.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Hear hear.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

i hope you feel better too, jess. but your last post is totally condecending.

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, what a dramatic turn of events. Jess, don't let yourself get too down. Best of luck, man.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

but your last post is totally condecending.

I don't know, I thought it was a pretty rational summation of things.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

your last post is totally condecending.

In the very least I was glad to see that, when "the deed" actually got done, there was no gloating.

Not that I expected Jess to post along those lines, but still...

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know, I thought it was a pretty rational summation of things.

YAH UP UNTIL THE "YOU GUYS CAN KEEP POSTING ABOUT (THINGS JESS THINKS ARE STUPID TO POST ABOUT)" PART. WOW THANKS FOR THE PERMISSION TO WRITE WHATEVER I WANT ON ILX DUDE SORRY ABOUT YOURE SITUATION BUT YOU GOT SOME POON AND BTW ITS POST IN ALL CAPS DAY TODAY. HELP ME ANNOY EVERYONE, THANKS!

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

keep yr cool strongo, don't beat yrself up and put that big brain of yours to work on it. i know it seems like everyone wants to hear yr exploits for one-liner fodder but i think the vast majority just want to encourage you to do the things that half of us are nervous nellies about doing in our own lives.

at least me anyway!

― rgeary (rgeary), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah, I just kind of skimmed over that bit.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

chaki otm.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 16 April 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.citizenlunchbox.com/monkey/famous/pix/lancelink.jpg

― nickalicious understands dude, you have no idea (nickalicious), Friday, 16 April 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

jess try and get some rest... i hope you feel better soon. you might want to refrain from starting personal threads for a little while until life settles down, as i think the good-intentioned vicarious excitement many of us feel for you might be a destructive force when applied to your real life. in other words, some of us care enough to want you to find a special girl and also to get laid but dont feel compelled to take actions you are not comfortable with for our sake (and you probably dont but its worth saying anyways i hope). if the weather in PA is anything like the weather here in VA, a good walk or bike ride might help.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

If the skittish gay guy knows the boyfriend and her kneeing you in the balls was her way of getting away with it, then that's a little quick-thinking and scary for my liking.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

When you put it that way, I ruminate even more about how Jess is in a situation where neither party seems to know what the fuck they're doing.

― Barima (Barima), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, i forgot what a great insult "pill" is.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I never knew why it was insulting (also, I'm not American).

― Barima (Barima), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, what does it mean. I thought Jess was just saying "I could always just drop an E instead".

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

no it's an old-school slang word meaning basically "one who is a pain in the ass", i believe

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

And I swear
You’re just like a pill
Instead of making me better
You keep making me ill
You keep making me ill

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I promise I will never quote Pink again.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

btw, am I missing out on anything by not clicking on the 'my girlfriend informed me that she didn't want to be penetrated' thread anymore? It was horrible last time I looked and it just keeps on growing.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pill Slang An insipid or ill-natured person," says some online dictionary i just googled

& don't even go there. (re: the no penetration thread)

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

It gets worse and worse and more self-righteous as it goes on. I regret posting to it at all.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I stopped reading it, too. I think it's nearly impossible for anything new or enlightening to have been said at this point.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I stopped reading it several hundred posts ago.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This morning?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 April 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

the last thing i posted was the last thing i read.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean the the thing you JUST posted?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 16 April 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The next thing I say to you will be true: The last thing I said was false.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

,$^Sdmalfunction

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 16 April 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

so when i was walking home from work tonight, i saw her on the corner (i havent spoken to her since a few days after i last posted here) with some other guy (who is not her bf because i figured out who he is) and she had her arm around him and then he leaned down and kissed her! WTF

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(this is after i told her i couldn't see her anymore until she "did something" about her bf.)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess the little skeezer just found a new fuck with fewer morals than yours truly.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Did she knee him in the groin?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

DOWN WITH GIRLS!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry strongo, my sympathies.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

well, on the bright side, this thread could make it to 1000 "answers"

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

So she's cheating on her boyfriend w/ someone else? Maybe it's an elaborate plan to get her boyfriend to dump her and the guy she was kissing is just a stunt kisser.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn you, "stisser," for not being a word.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"sippin on some stisser"

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Be careful what you ask for - http://www.coreystisser.com/

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

It just sounds so dirty now.

(And sorry jess -- but don't give up on gurls & grrls.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the way, son; keep it gangsta.

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

if stisser isn't a word, poor corey is working in a vacuum

god j. this sucks, i'm sorry

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)

DOWN WITH MORALS!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

UP WITH PANTS!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Whoa! OK, so she probably=crazy bad lady. Who happens to be very attractive. But screwing around like this is a bit freaked in the head, no?

I hadn't looked at this thread until today. What a cracking lump of quality saga. It should be made into a movie.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i will be played by bobcat goldwaithe

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

no, wait, snoop dogg

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

something with an animal's name anyway

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

John Cougar Mellencampington.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

bravo

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 28 April 2004 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

augh.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:07 (twenty years ago)

Your glasses not pulling in the blart then?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:13 (twenty years ago)

it's been a rough couple of months you know, passantino.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago)

i adore this thread

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago)

oof.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago)

i really should have stopped posting after this, but ilx's pull is strong.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago)

n'yargh

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 16 September 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

Somehow I never read this thread.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

And now you have love.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 18:44 (nineteen years ago)

But now, what am I gonna do with it?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

That is up to your creative impulses.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 18:48 (nineteen years ago)

If you befriend her and treat her well, she might ditch her boyfriend to be with you (the caveat being that if she does so the number of "get out of fuck-up free" cards you will have in the relationship is drastically reduced).

Man, I wish I'd read that back when Dan first posted it! O. T. M.

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

i have read this thread at least ten times

― t0dd swiss (immobilisme), Thursday, 16 March 2006 00:06 (nineteen years ago)

a first, for me. though i have definitely read the gear thread like five or sixt times.

― gbx (skowly), Thursday, 16 March 2006 00:09 (nineteen years ago)

snow patrol!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 16 March 2006 00:43 (nineteen years ago)

i'd never read this thread or the gear thread and they're both great. or at least this one was until it got all depressing SUDDENLY

― nervous (cochere), Thursday, 16 March 2006 18:42 (nineteen years ago)

jess really needs to do an off-broadway one-man-show based on this thread

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 16 March 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

Man, I wish I'd read that back when Dan first posted it! O. T. M.

hmmmm i have had totally the opposite advice from girls

however that might be due to accomodation being involved

― ambrose (ambrose), Thursday, 16 March 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

after reading this and trucker guy in less than 24 hours, i feel ... exhausted.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:34 (nineteen years ago)

bummed out

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:39 (nineteen years ago)

wiped. like gear!'s sofa.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 16 March 2006 23:09 (nineteen years ago)

customers who read this thread also read: picking up this waitress

― electrogrouse (haitch), Friday, 17 March 2006 00:12 (nineteen years ago)

i still haven't been filled in on strongo & the teenage lesbians

― amateurist0, Friday, 17 March 2006 01:52 (nineteen years ago)

it's kind of boggling what a different headspace i'm in now from the strongo who started this thread

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 17 March 2006 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

http://tvmegasite.net/images/primetime/hh/animal3.jpg

― ?--, Friday, 17 March 2006 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

NEVER FORGET
i just, it's just, the lead up, the punch line, everything

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 17 March 2006 03:23 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

ah, good times.

― milo z, Sunday, 4 November 2007 19:46 (seventeen years ago)

girls are teh bomb.

i am in love with like eight of them.

-- Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 10 April 2004 23:14 (3 years ago) Link

yes

― and what, Sunday, 4 November 2007 20:33 (seventeen years ago)

six months pass...

pros: beautiful, funny, smart, kind
cons: past "problems" w/ drugs, shelf full of Ayn Rand

― milo z, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:10 (seventeen years ago)

basically given up at 26

― jeremy waters, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:10 (seventeen years ago)

more time for junk food and mp3s now

― jeremy waters, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:11 (seventeen years ago)

pros - beautiful, smart
cons - not very funny, expect you to be funny all the fucking time, evil

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:13 (seventeen years ago)

pros: beautiful, funny, smart, kind
cons: past "problems" w/ drugs, shelf full of Ayn Rand

-- milo z, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 1:10 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

girls in general?

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:34 (seventeen years ago)

jeremy, when all else fails, lower your standards.

― Aimless, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:36 (seventeen years ago)

fuck that shit

― electricsound, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:37 (seventeen years ago)

http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/7045/imageuploadimagear1.gif

― libcrypt, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:38 (seventeen years ago)

(not a general comment on girls.)

― libcrypt, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:39 (seventeen years ago)

everyday life:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v48/w1nt3rmut3/Donttouchthegirls.gif

― Dan I., Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:43 (seventeen years ago)

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/2574/imageuploadimagecr8.gif

― libcrypt, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:47 (seventeen years ago)

ESJ, what will become of Jeremy's precious DNA if he fails to procreate, huh? Ever think of that?

― Aimless, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:47 (seventeen years ago)

lol @ "...YESTERDAY"

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:48 (seventeen years ago)

cons: past "problems" w/ drugs, shelf full of Ayn Rand

Oh my gosh, those cons are hideous!

Wait four years and see if she's over it by then.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:50 (seventeen years ago)

if it really was that precious, he should be less liberal with sharing it about

― electricsound, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:50 (seventeen years ago)

I'm still trying to correct my unconscious notion that girls do not want to talk to me b/c of cooties

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:52 (seventeen years ago)

sounds to me as if he's having a hard time sharing even a thimbleful.

― Aimless, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:56 (seventeen years ago)

Curt1s have you had the cooties vaccine?

― Abbott, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 01:58 (seventeen years ago)

circle-circle-dot-dotting thru the heartbreak

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:08 (seventeen years ago)

Morse code?

― Abbott, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:10 (seventeen years ago)

Abbott do you not know circle circle dot dot?!?!

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:13 (seventeen years ago)

lol wikipedia

The song derives from an American children's playground song, "circle circle, dot dot", that supposedly serves to immunize a child from the affliction of cooties. The words are as follows:

Circle, circle.
Dot, dot.
Now I've got my cootie shot.

The words circle and dot are accompanied by the corresponding shapemeaning in the shape of two circles with dots in the middle being traced (or, in some cases, drawn with a pen or marker) on the recipient's hand or arm. If the cootie shot was self-administered, "you" and "your" may be substituted with "I" and "my". In some areas a self-administered shot is not considered effective (the "shot" is considered to have been already infected with cooties).

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:15 (seventeen years ago)

swear-to-god in my childhood the poem went

circle, circle
dot, dot
touch a girls ass
or youre gay

the rule was if someone did that to yr palm you had to keep yr hand balled into a fist which had to be kept closed until it made contact w/ a girls ass

i once spent 2 very painful hours under this predicament

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:32 (seventeen years ago)

o.O

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:34 (seventeen years ago)

hey man i dont care how long it took id rather be the guy who touched a girls ass at 8 than the guy who still believes in cooties at 18

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:38 (seventeen years ago)

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 02:39 (seventeen years ago)

Not Morse code.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 04:17 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know about drug "problems," but Ayn Rand is something people generally get over at a pretty young age, so don't worry about that.

― Maria, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 09:02 (seventeen years ago)

hey man i dont care how long it took id rather be the guy who touched a girls ass at 8 than the guy who still believes in cooties at 18

i guess we know how old deez is now?

― gabbneb, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 09:19 (seventeen years ago)

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