ILX's Top 100 Essential Life Skills

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You decide...

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

100. Be nice.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

99. Fuck being nice.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

98. Fuck washing a hat

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, you've set me off again...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

97. When come back bring [insert comic item here]

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

96. Shut the fuck up and eat your corn.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

95. be otm more

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

94. Never wear a trucker hat during intercourse

― smee (smee), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

93. Or shout bingo!

― smee (smee), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

93. GET ONE LIFE

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

91. You can't make your face into a heart.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

90. "Try this if you'd like to stifle your sneeze: when you feel the sneeze coming press firmly on your top lip until it passes."-lawrence in kansas

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

89. Remember that each one of us, fundamentally, is naked beneath his or her clothes.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

88. "When you're on a date, take a girl through a park and pick her some flowers. Then, knife a hobo." - Gear!

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 29 April 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Lock the thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

87. meet up with internet mentalists for beers on a regular basis

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

86. Excelsior regularly.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

85. DONT TRY IT

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

84. "Calm down for a bit, think more, post less, and get to know who are the intelligent and considerate members of the forum who post the most insightful stuff." -Markelby

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

83. Argue if you must, but you know it'll go meta.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

84. Pimp your own damn ride

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

81. Read the instructions.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

80. Ask nicely for the moderator, don't shout.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

79. Ask if Geir is serious.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

78. Board games are ideal tools of seduction.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

77. boredoms 7' is an ideal tool for seduction.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

76. Maintain eye contact when lying.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 29 April 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

75. Use the search function.

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

74. Close your tags.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

73. fuck (indie) guilt.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

72. Eat my fuc.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

71. Namedrop like a motherfucker.

― penelope_111, Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

70. add -o to your first name and -ington to your last name

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

69) Laugh at people who think Page 3 is representative of the worst kind of sexist/ objectification of women.

68) All hail Morrissey.

― CRW (CRW), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

67. Develop an immunity to understanding the phrase "life skills".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

66. Consider Calum to be a twat.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

65. Feed trolls

― penelope_111, Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

66. Don't believe everything you read, trust your intuition.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

67. Counting's for losers.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

68. don't trust whitey.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

62. go ahead, be a pedant.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

69. distrust low numbers

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

60. continue being a pedant.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

61 and/or 70. x-post like a mofo

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

69. wrestle for the cute ones

― penelope_111, Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

82,194. know when it is and isn't appropriate to ask "how are these 'life skills'? aren't these all either commands or advice of some sort?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

(aka the pedant thing)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

82,195. shut up you

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

54. be passive-agressive

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

p. Math

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

59. Try not to let your displeasure show when people mess up your thread.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

53. Only Ned can use :-)

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, you're the one who messed up the numbering.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

10. Grow a shell of assholishness around your tootsy roll softy core.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

52. Admit when you're wrong

Oh yeah, d'oh!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

51(?). One must be able to accomodate an ever-expanding lexicon that is in a constant state of adaptation so as to include terms such as "bootyflakes".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

50) Girls don't like boys girls like cars and money

49) Louise Wener was once the fittest lady in British music.

― CRW (CRW), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

48. FREMME NEPPA VENETTE

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 April 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

47. what?

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 April 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

46. "it was like that when i got here"

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 29 April 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

45. GET A BRAIN! morans

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

44. Taking Sides

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

43. rockism is as incurable as aids.
42. if you find yrself saying "x: classic or dud?" in real life, you need to stop.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

re: #42 - i may have a problem ("classic or dud" addiction: classic or dud)

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

41. Niggaz gon' fuck around and get they balloon popped

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

40 dye yer own hair

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

39. SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

38. You Can't Hide From Your Bud.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

37 Hataz wanna hate, playaz wanna play

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

50. ways to leave your lover & skin your cat.
36. never forgetting where it was @

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

35 holla

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

34. Life ain't nothing but bitches and money.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

33. lie like a kite

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

32. HONOR (or HONOUR) THE FIRE!

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

31. Some people deserve to be Upper Decked.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

30. Turn back you poxy fule

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Thursday, 29 April 2004 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

VOTE BLOOMPS / HANLE Y IN 2004 HOLLA

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 29 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

29. See above

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 29 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

28. It's the Nediverse, the rest of us just live in it.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 29 April 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

27. accept that everything was better before you were here, just don't take it personally

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 29 April 2004 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

26. meet the meatls

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 April 2004 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

25. complain about your personal life anonymously or not; someone will figure out who you are anyway.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 29 April 2004 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

24. Admit that kittens are the greatest things in the entire world.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 29 April 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

23. Masturbate.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 29 April 2004 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

22. If you're ugly, forget it.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 30 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

21. Be thoughtful, be interesting, try to understand others' points of view. Aw fuck it.

― jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 30 April 2004 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

20. A non sequitur in the hand, is worth 12 in the bush

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 30 April 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

19. turn your face into a heart.

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 1 May 2004 06:57 (twenty-two years ago)

18. http://www.jackson.ch/OtherArtists/mase.jpg

― weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Saturday, 1 May 2004 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

17. ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR PRESIDETN

― Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 1 May 2004 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

But... but... most of these aren't actual skills. Very disturbing.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 1 May 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

(we're not actually skilled!)

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 1 May 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

16. Be understanding about ILXers' actual problems, but be prepared to S&D the bullshit (when tis apparent).

15. Have the stamina to sit posting for hours at a time.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Saturday, 1 May 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

(we're not actually skilled!)

New slogan for the 2004 ILX tshirt.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Saturday, 1 May 2004 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

14. the dog run is a good way to spend a saturday afternoon

― Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 1 May 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

13. or the horse track, but NOT if you want to make money/stay sober

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 1 May 2004 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

12. never have one of yer sayings or quirks make it onto a list like this one.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 1 May 2004 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

11. be able to think up the most appropriate band to greet an ILXor on that ILXors birthday -- and find out which of those bandmembers is the lead singer, so that the birthday greeting is not from him/her.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 1 May 2004 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

what ian said.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 1 May 2004 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"essential"

"life"

"skills"

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 1 May 2004 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

10. Learn to use quotation marks as sarcastically as you possibly can.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

9. keep on rocking in the free world!

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

8. ...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

7. Profit!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

6, 6, 6 for my sorrow...

― NA (Nick A.), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

5. One can never say "Fuck washing a hat" too many times... until now.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

4. my penis is fancy

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

3. jaysis, the edge

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

2. faggo stronginton

― Ian Johnson (orion), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

1. do not read if you hate us

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

1. He who hesitates is lost

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

1. 1/2 GET OFF THE FUCKING COMPUTER

― Prude (Prude), Saturday, 1 May 2004 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

0 Calum has none whatsoever.

― ..., Sunday, 2 May 2004 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

-1. no woman no cry

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 2 May 2004 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, lock the thread, add to FAQ. Thank you for your assistance.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 2 May 2004 08:59 (twenty-two years ago)

#.¤ being capable of displaying instant kool detachment regarding the threads of your own making, if need be.

(#.¤¤ never forgetting to 'moticon, even if unsure ;)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 2 May 2004 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

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