people going "are you gay, by the way?", classic or dud

Unless, of course, it means yer a big sissy. You make the call.

I use a laptop???

xpost

For example, responding with "Punch me in the stomach as hard as you can - I dare you" or "Heavens, no! I can hardly dress myself" might be considered classic, if correctly nuanced, as would be a simple "Yes" and batting your eyes. Almost any response with panache is acceptably classic. Looking stricken, stammering incoherently before fleeing, and feeling deflated for several days after - dud.

Ronan you are the DJ Falcon of love

-- stevem (bluesk...) (webmail), May 16th, 2004 7:55 AM. (blueski) (later) (link)

How so?

I use a laptop???

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...) (webmail), May 16th, 2004 8:10 AM. (Ronan) (later) (link)

IF YOU HAVE A POWERBOOK YOU ARE GAY

How would "fuck off" have suited? Jesus I actually found it quite funny and interesting, hence the question.

near the end of the haircut, he asked if i wanted the back squared or rounded, "because i wouldnt want to ASSUME anything!" we both laughed at that. i was very flattered.

the only other time is when some girl asked me if i was gay before asking if i would go out with her friend.

There's a DJ name for you.

this has been said to me the odd time, it doesn't bother me at all. i've been hit on by men a couple of times, but i just politely told them i wasn't intersted and they accepted it politely. one was a chubby middle-aged man with a moustache and i was tempted to say "i'm out of your league, so piss off." but i didn't.

btw gay schmindie clubs?!?!? what? where? how?

I also think it has something to do with my glasses.

so i don't think it's a dud at all. it really doesn't mean much, and probably refers to stylish clothes or spiky hair or the way you dance more than who you like to sleep with.

colette is OTM about this...

not taking this one personally, are we rob? :)

I've always wondered what, in that split second, gave me away.

I just remembered this:

Actually, Spittle's post has just reminded me of this time about five years ago where I was in a gay schmindie club in North London and this Swedish girl came up to me and asked "excuse me, are you straight?" She was hot, we got busy.

-- Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 16 May 2004 19:25 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

that last post from mookie is great

A girl used this on me as a line once. "Are you gay?" "No, why do you ask?" *pounce

"Are you gay?" "No, why do you ask?" *ponce

lol

I've had the line "You must be gay...you dance so well!" before. *bask*

I wish more folks asked.

It just means yer too good lookin' to be straight. It's a compliment.
Unless, of course, it means yer a big sissy. You make the call.
-- Verbal (Verbal), Sunday, 16 May 2004 21:17 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

I didn't talk to them much after, the first was actually nice and maybe joking around. She slapped my ass. The other one was just silly and young I think.
-- Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 16 May 2004 21:35 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

she probably wanted doggie sex.
-- jesus nathalie (nathalie)

total roffls, nathalie, that was awesome!

I wish more folks asked.

I wish more folks asked before they just started blowing me.

When I was on holidays I was buying a sun hat, and another customer in the shop suggested I try a different hat because the one I was wearing "made me look like a lesbian". She was an older lady, and I got a shock, so I couldn't quite bring myself to say "madam, I am a lesbian," or at least "well maybe I don't care!", and now I kind of regret that. Why would I not want to look like a lesbian? In case they swarm me going down the street?

you wouldn't happen to remember what brand of hat it was, would you

One of my happiest memories.

As this has stopped happening to me as much in the past couple of years I can confirm its general classicness.

"No, are u?"

is clearly the best response

if, that is, yr not gay and it's not ferg's bnp knuckledragger doing the asking.

This is nowhere as classic as staring at some gorgeous str8 man on the street til he guardely nods at you in that "No, I'm not" way.

I only had it once. But it was a (male) friend of my (female) friend who thought I was a lesbian and said that it reflected badly on her. hahahahaha I could only laugh. He had that typical "macho" 15 year old look: a baby-moustachio surrounded by acne and that just-learned-to-wank-to-Pam Anderson walk. I sort of took it as a compliment knowing he'd never try to hit on me.

This is nowhere as classic as staring at some gorgeous str8 man on the street til he guardely nods at you in that "No, I'm not" way.

I would love to see this.

people thinking you are a prostitute, classic or dud

(it hasn't happened to me, but did happen to a friend of mine in hell's kitchen once. no words were spoken but it was clear, apparently. the guy was even more mortified than she was, to hear her tell it - yikes)

haha tracer reminded me of walkin from the design museum to london bridge station w.(non-londoner) m.daddino three or four years back and him suddenly saying "it's incredible how many prositutes you see round here" and me thinking ARE YOU SURE I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY!

i still have no idea which of us was right

jesus this thread seems like an eternity ago, I remember the night in question.

this doesn't really happen me anymore but I'm seldom out, I think people just think I am hateful and mean now!

i dunno, i think it's kind of funny and fine to ask this question. i mean sometimes ya just don't know, and ppl are so out there in New York at least anyway, that it really don't phase me.

"Are you gay? Oh, wait, I don't really care." *pounce.

Oh man if i had a penny for every time...
(xpost)

I love when people who don't know me well (ie new coworkers) ask about "your boyfriend...or your girlfriend...girlfriend...?" (your=Abbott's, obv.)

The best was when a woman flirted hella hard w/my boyfriend & confided in me after he left that he was such a striking young woman and she wished they could meet again.

BEST

what the hell did u say to that?

We were both DELIGHTED!

I don't know if I've ever been asked this question, but a couple times, I've definitely had to spontaneously out myself in order to get some random girl at the bar to back off my junk.

It's tiresome having to explain yourself. Outside of a gay bar I've never been fortunate enough to have people assume I was el queero.

We were both DELIGHTED!

And then they all lezzed up.

There are many occasions in which people have assumed I was gay, but usually I was having sex with them.

Happens constantly, thanks to being stick thin and wearing girl jeans on the weekends. Plus I list Abba as close to if not my very favorite band. And I lived in Chicago's Boys' Town for a year.

My paternal grandmother always thought I was gay growing up, and despite the girlfriends I brought around, the thought persisted. When I was applying to colleges, my stepmom told her I was thinking about Hampshire, and she replied "Do they let gay people into Hampshire?".

jesus this thread seems like an eternity ago, I remember the night in question.

this doesn't really happen me anymore but I'm seldom out, I think people just think I am hateful and mean now!

Still missed out on some great doggie sex.

I would guess that I get this more than anyone else here that isn't actually gay. I think it's less my appearance (although being small and having preposterously long eyelashes doesn't help) and more spending my days at either a theatre building, a dance studio, or a vegetarian restaurant. Plus, I'm willing to converse at length with anyone that speaks to me, so there's more of an opportunity to get to a level of conversational comfort to ask. I think that once we're talking I'm assessed (har har) pretty quickly by gay men. Girls have apparently gone weeks thinking that I was gay.. The guys usually ask in a more refined way..

Young man on L train: "Do you ever go to Metropolitan?"
Customer at restaurant: "So, what did you do to celebrate Pride?"
Old man at bar with cat: "I know the owner of a hotel. Do you want to see its roof?"
Guy on street: "AY! QUE BONITO!!"

Girls: "Wait-- what are you? She thinks you're gay but I think you're straight.
Me: Well, I don't sleep with men.
Girls: .. You're so gay, you just don't know it.

Is that to mean that you are so ultra-gay, that you can't even see it? It's like this light of gayness that shines from you that blinds you from consciousness of your own sexuality? That's pretty deep.

poortheatre, those are impressive credentials even if men don't pop your cork.

last time i was on the chinatown bus it took from new york til baltimore before

a) the gentleman sitting next to me finally asked if i was gay
b) i realized he'd been hitting on me and not just chatty the whole trip

most vulnerable: going to the opera by myself. scene from the MET two weeks ago at the refreshments stand..

OGG: So, what do you think?
PT: Fantastic! The strings sound great!
OGG: I could have done without the wigs, though.
PT: Yea, they looked ridiculous.
OGG: So, where's your date?
PT: Oh, I'm alone. It was kind of last minute.
OGG: So nice to see young people coming out to the theatre.. Want to borrow my binoculars?

etc.. i had this guy in his 60s sitting across the aisle from me, and every time I glanced over he was staring at me. i passed him at intermission and he whispered "so cute..so cute.." !!!

i did let some other guy buy me a brownie, though.. maybe i'm to blame.

no way, go ahead and scam that brownie with your cuteness.

'buy you a brownie' meaning?

get wit da program pops *snap*

Poor, I'm not even gay, I can't see you, and yet I think you're really, really hot. Inappropriate? Let's talk about it over a 'brownie.'

I think poortheatre might be too gay for my tastes.

I mean small + vegetarian restaurant usually does it for me, but still.

humansuit, meet here

OK. I'm in LA and I'm broke. will meet you there September 7th. Keep them brownies warm!

I was kissed by a girl once, but she didn't ask first.

people thinking you are a prostitute, classic or dud

I've lost count of the number of times I've been mistaken for a prostitute. Living in Italy for 18 months didn't help - I lived in a town where two girls walking home from the pub after dark was deemed risque. I've been kerb-crawled in Milan wearing (classic nineties combo) cords, gazelles and a tracky top and I've been kerb-crawled in Stoke Newington wearing white tights and a sixties dress. And there was me thinking prossies looked like Julia Roberts.

Happens constantly, thanks to being stick thin and wearing girl jeans on the weekends. Plus I list Abba as close to if not my very favorite band. And I lived in Chicago's Boys' Town for a year.

Shame you're not, if the photo you posted on WDYLL a while back was accurate.

roffles at DeeDee Ramone intersection.

poortheatre, you are WORKIN' it w/ brownies at the Met! You should be our Special Guest Straight at next gayish FAP.

much obliged, but i'll probably miss it. i'm moving in a couple days!

I've definitely replied to this with the "nah, are you?" to girls without even thinking about it.

I've been asked a few times but I get really flamboyant when I drink so it's generally warranted. I probably get hit on more by guys than girls at parties, too! Apparently men just have better taste in men than women. Heh, I kid, I kid.

confession: i thought poortheatre was gay when i first met him :x

is that you, hot trax??

(brownie guy?)

what? Are you talkin to me?

Wait, where are you moving to?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d7/Lightning_striking_the_Eiffel_Tower_-_NOAA.jpg/396px-Lightning_striking_the_Eiffel_Tower_-_NOAA.jpg

http://www.tomheroes.com/images/COMIC%20batman%20dark%20knight%20returns.jpg

NEXT WEEK!

http://www.crystalinks.com/rodin_thinker.jpg

http://www32.ocn.ne.jp/~whitewine/beret.jpg

xxxxpost - no, i'm talking to impudent harlot, wondering if it's a certain librarian/ILXOR/gay-man that i know

ah, yes.

xpost to Jay:

Aw, shucks.

Yeah I got mistaken for a prostitute once too :( I dont think I was dressed in any dodgy way, and it was the middle of the day! I was standing outside the Creative Writing staff building at RMIT waiting for my course acceptance interview... the builing unfortunately happened to be 2 doors down from a brothel.

This old man walked past me standing there, and said "'ow much, love?". I think I blurted "what the hell, fuck off!" or something and he looked REALLY startled and embarrased and apologised profusely and ran off rather quickly.

poortheatre: a-YUP

I'm fairly certain that the way this works with me is someone whispers to a friend of mine shortly after meeting me "Wait, is he gay?" and then the friend bursts out laughing and says "YES."

And then months later the person will become confused and say to me "Wait, I thought you were gay."

I look gay, but I'm not. I've had gay men telling me that I need to come out of the closet all my adult life - and that was before the handlebar moustache! When chatting up the sheilas, I am sure that looking gay really, well, queers my pitch. Fortunately, I meet the occasional extremely perverted woman - invariably in her 30's - who likes nothing better than the idea of making it with a gay man. And this kind of sheila would have no luck, no luck at all, if it were not for men like me.

'why you want to date him? don't you know he gay?' was the first thing skot's boss's wife said to me (he used to work at a korean convenience store). she also used to say things to me like, 'oh, you look better than last time you came in here, you looked awful last time.' and i once overheard her answer someone who commented about how old he was, 'why you care how old you are? you fat!'

people often have thought i was a lesbian. i guess cuz i lumber and have a low center of gravity and had been known to date the wimmins. my mom's gay but i didn't inherit it.

Dud - just because I wear nice clothes and have a manbag, doesn't mean I don't like the BIG TITTAYS!!

I used to go, "Are you gay?" to crotch grabbing bullies in high school till oe of them thought of a reply; "I wasn't but I became one after screwing you" :(

Christ, if I'd gotten a penny for every time people have thought me to be gay, I'd have... well, quite a few pennies. Though I can't blame people who make that assumption, given my everyday demeanor, my cultural interests, my choice of studies, my squeaky laugh, my way of dancing, and my general unmanliness. Though I've noticed that once I stopped colouring my hair and using hairspray, shaved my head, grew a beard, and stopped wearing tight white shirts I've gotten less attention from gay men.

Which is sad, because they were the only ones who ever offered me drinks.

my squeaky laugh

YSI?

Sorry, I don't enough about computers to record anything. Plus I'd need a mike or something, right?

Mike? I thought you were straight.