This is the thread where I teach you all how to handle Jon Williams

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1. If he is being too much of a Boredoms fanboy, tell him to shut the fuck up about the goddamn Boredoms and hit him in the arm.

2. If he calls you a faggot, tell him that it takes one to know one. (Jon is among my gayest straight friends.)

3. If he posts images that bother you, disable images.

4. If he makes snide comments, ask him what happened to his computer for most of last semester.

5. Chides you on your taste in women/men? Bring up Nic0le DiMarc0 and Mega4n B1llingz.

6. If he makes fun of your driving ability, offer to discuss the time he fucked a car up backing out of a parking space.

7. Offer to frankly discuss his ex-girlfriends fingering his asshole whenever the opportunity presents itself.

8. Make fun of him for driving an SUV.

9. If he says you like shitty music, ask him what the fuck that Ladytron CD is doing in his collection.

10. Cut him off from the bonghits unless he stops talking about Kingdom Of Loathing and ILX threads.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:29 (twenty years ago)

I kinda love you.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:30 (twenty years ago)

SMOOCHES!

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago)

no no, stop that.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago)

Ladytron! SUV!!!!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago)

11. leave him weird voicemails of your newest fuzz-sprackle.

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:32 (twenty years ago)

GET A JOB HIPPIE

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:33 (twenty years ago)

Now, does Jon like Wolf Eyes? Because it seems he's on the fence about 'em.

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:33 (twenty years ago)

This is where Ian learns that the average ILX poster is 6-12 years older than him and got tired of that shit a long fucking time ago.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:33 (twenty years ago)

sassy and erudite.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:34 (twenty years ago)

dude what is wrong with Nic0l3 and M3g4n? Other than Megan becoming a huge twat AFTER I was done with her?

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:34 (twenty years ago)

(though obviously not, in many cases)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:35 (twenty years ago)

This is where Ian learns that the average ILX poster is 6-12 years older than him and got tired of that shit a long fucking time ago.
-- gabbneb (gabbne...), June 25th, 2004.

HAHA

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:35 (twenty years ago)

megan was a huge twat while you were dating too, jon.

and nicole is dumb.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:36 (twenty years ago)

n1col3 d4t3d dr4k3 0mg wtf

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:36 (twenty years ago)

gabbneb, that was brilliant.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:36 (twenty years ago)

humorless self important liberal arts dead end fucks

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:39 (twenty years ago)

I still have a hard time imagining Jon as a living, breathing human being.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:41 (twenty years ago)

How does that make him different from any other random ILXer, though?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:43 (twenty years ago)

I think Jon is a computer program.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:47 (twenty years ago)

10 START
20 PRINT "MANATEE"
30 GOTO 20

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:48 (twenty years ago)

I think he'd be ok in real life.

are you jon?

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:48 (twenty years ago)

Does Jon have a high voice that squeaks or like, a low, manly-man voice?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:50 (twenty years ago)

jon is totally ok in real life, though he's not that much different from his online persona.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:51 (twenty years ago)

Would he call me a manatee to my face or wait until I went to the toilet to say it.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:52 (twenty years ago)

I'm overcompensating for being a boring antisocial awfward nerd guys!!!! But no one ever has brought this point up on ILX becuase everyone on here is a total fucking social retard.

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:52 (twenty years ago)

his voice is kind of nasal; his intonation, kind of whining.

all of which gets me hot and dripping like the everglades. therefore, manatees (again).

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:52 (twenty years ago)

He so has a high, squeaky voice. Like mine!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:53 (twenty years ago)

jon is pleasant

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:53 (twenty years ago)

I'm overcompensating for being a boring antisocial awfward nerd guys!!!! But no one ever has brought this point up on ILX becuase everyone on here is a total fucking social retard.

I actually can't argue against this.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

nasally.. and whining. good caesar's ghost!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

Jon, what time are you going to Laura's tonight? Jer is coming here and then we're gonna head over sometime. Meet us here? Meet there?

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

come on, jon. if you were that socially awkward you wouldn't get so much sweet scenester pie.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

someone call me and show me their voice.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:55 (twenty years ago)

yes yes what is the plan 2nite??

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:55 (twenty years ago)

ian and mandee are pleasant.

its possible that andrew is too, but i wouldn't know. i am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt though, what about you?

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:56 (twenty years ago)

I like how when john doesn't like something he says it sucks.

― artdamages (artdamages), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:56 (twenty years ago)

WHY DOES ANYONE HAVE A GOOD RECORD COLLECTION EXCEPT TO GET GIRLS??????

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:56 (twenty years ago)

because a good record collection is superfluous in that regard.

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:57 (twenty years ago)

i dont think any girls have ever been impressed by the music i own. they are usually slightly disturbed.

― artdamages (artdamages), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:58 (twenty years ago)

and to get boys too.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:58 (twenty years ago)

andrew: i dunno what plan is. plan is get drunk at laura's? plan is play mario kart? plan is get baked if anyone has weedz?

charltonlido: andrew is a "good doobie."

x-posts mega.

jon: a good record collection is also worthwhile to sell off during the lean times to support your (my) drug habit.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:58 (twenty years ago)

are girls impressed by loads of records?

i'm more impressed by loads of books.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:58 (twenty years ago)

I have a bad record collection

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:58 (twenty years ago)

girls are impressed by Load Records.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Andrew and I hated each other so much when we first met in Fall 1996

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:59 (twenty years ago)

it is best to be impressed by good hair

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 25 June 2004 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Let's hear more about these lassies who didn't pass Ian's hip-chick test.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:00 (twenty years ago)

I had a pretty crazy bookshelf this year too...

oh no good hair :(

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:00 (twenty years ago)

charlton is right about hair.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:00 (twenty years ago)

gareth otm

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago)

i actually made out with n1c0le once or twice... but that was before i knew better.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago)

hair = politics

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago)

grow a moustache.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:02 (twenty years ago)

hi jack!!!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:03 (twenty years ago)

I also am better than most people on ILX because the sum total of how much people on ILX care about me is much greater than how much I care about the sum total of people on ILX.

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:04 (twenty years ago)

Do people like me more than CMAN at least???

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:05 (twenty years ago)

hey, manny, did you see we don't get books, now?

I am going to grow a moustache.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:08 (twenty years ago)

WHEN I FIRST MET JON -- it was freshman english in high school, and we had to write a paper about our names (wtf lenke wood?). i recall he said he HATED when people spelled his name J-O-H-N. then he used an analogy where if J-O-N was like a race car, and J-O-H-N was like a dump truck. JON (racecar) hates dump trucks!

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:09 (twenty years ago)

i think girls are more impressed by a bad record collection...

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:09 (twenty years ago)

impressed in a good way?

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:12 (twenty years ago)

I think Jon underappreciates the ladies' love of dump trucks.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:13 (twenty years ago)

but J-O-H-N is so totally better!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:13 (twenty years ago)

Except the problem is that I just don't care.

We can still be friends, right?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:14 (twenty years ago)

http://users.wpi.edu/~wcoppock/jonwtc.jpg

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:15 (twenty years ago)

reading or replying to this thread = caring

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:15 (twenty years ago)

aww then I do care!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:16 (twenty years ago)

i care. it is good to care, it shows an engagement and interest in people. and i am certainly interested. sometimes, even fascinated, though today, merely interested

i think andrew is pleasant too now, on a par with jon, ian and mandee. this can only be good news for all of us

books and record collections are for people who dont have good hair

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:17 (twenty years ago)

I like you too. xpost

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:18 (twenty years ago)

you have taught me a lesson today, charltonlido.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:18 (twenty years ago)

Charltonlido says what the rest of us are too afraid to say.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:20 (twenty years ago)

i am so pleasant! awwww panda hugs.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:21 (twenty years ago)

When it comes to record collections, quality is more important than quantity.

And good hair is even better.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:24 (twenty years ago)

"I also am better than most people on ILX because the sum total of how much people on ILX care about me is much greater than how much I care about the sum total of people on ILX.
-- People love Gravity and Ebullition! (Jonathan(dot)Williams@Google's_Amazing_New_Free_Email_Service(dot)com), June 25th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do people like me more than CMAN at least???
-- People love Gravity and Ebullition! (Jonathan(dot)Williams@Google's_Amazing_New_Free_Email_Service(dot)com), June 25th, 2004."

This kinda brilliant self-deconstructing stuff = why Jon is k-great.

(I have good hair and terrible books/records, it definitely doesn't work).

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:25 (twenty years ago)

I have great hair and lots of great records and I got laid tonight too.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago)

I like quantifying stuff

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago)

I guess the great hair/ great records thing doesn't work if you are a girl.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:32 (twenty years ago)

Plus I had a conversation on the phone about BOREDOMS and also WHITEHOUSE with Graham Sutton from BARK PSYCHOSIS.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:35 (twenty years ago)

Noise dudes you can touch me if you like. In an admiring, non-sexual way.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:35 (twenty years ago)

whitehouse sucks

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't know. Graham seemed to like 'em though.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago)

I guess the great hair/ great records thing doesn't work if you are a girl.

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 4:32 PM. (rosemary) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think this is wrong.

i don't really have an opinion about jon. he does stupid stuff occasionally but i don't think his track record is so bad for a 20 year old, or whatever he is. i think he can be a little self-righteous about his taste in music.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago)

I'm usually kidding about music.

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago)

This is ILX, amateur!st.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago)

i don't think nicole is dumb, she's just a stoner! i'm kinda mortified by how smart she can be when she applies herself.

http://www.canosoarus.com/02Robosaurus/Robo%20Images/Show29.JPG

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:44 (twenty years ago)

you mean jon on ilm is a different jon from jon on ilx?

jon: ok, sometimes it's hard to tell when you are kidding, or when you are half-kidding, or when you are trying (like we all do sometimes) to have it a bit of both ways.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:44 (twenty years ago)

WHY DOES ANYONE HAVE A GOOD RECORD COLLECTION EXCEPT TO GET GIRLS??????

I'm really surprised nobody's mentioned Jen's record collection as a response to this comment.

Jon, if you happen to get out to Seattle at some point, we will invite you over so you can see a real record collection, and I guarantee Jen will deny ever using it to pick up anybody (although it is at least partly responsible for my initial interest in her).

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:45 (twenty years ago)

JACKIN U OFF ADRIAN

ok, i need to pack my contact lens stuff up now... talk to you all later!

Also, I love civility!

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:46 (twenty years ago)

http://img36.photobucket.com/albums/v108/mkottema/bear.jpg

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:48 (twenty years ago)

Are all of Jon's friends ILXers now?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:50 (twenty years ago)

god you re all such fags

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:51 (twenty years ago)

GET ONE LIFE

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:52 (twenty years ago)

:(!

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:52 (twenty years ago)

i was just trying to balance out the force

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:53 (twenty years ago)

Jess, you should talk, you turned down poontang.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:53 (twenty years ago)

jess, i hear your mom calling!!!

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:53 (twenty years ago)

benito is pleasant.

― charlton liddington (gareth), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:54 (twenty years ago)

http://i.myspace.com/50/18/1968105/10343435_l.jpg

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:54 (twenty years ago)

gareth is pleasant, too

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:55 (twenty years ago)

fuck you gareth

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:55 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if anyone back in 1930s italy thought to call mussollini "il douchebag"...

(this has nothing to do with jess)

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:56 (twenty years ago)

I am pleasant, dammit.

C'mon gareth. Tell 'em.

I am pleasant.

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:56 (twenty years ago)

wait what DID happen to jon's computer for most of last semester?

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:58 (twenty years ago)

and how did he get an suv?

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:58 (twenty years ago)

jess it is my MOM'S SUV THAT I AM BORROWING

and I really wouldn't want to disclose the details of that on board but let's just say someone leveled very serious false allegations against me

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 22:59 (twenty years ago)

do you play soccer?

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:01 (twenty years ago)

or "footbol"?

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:01 (twenty years ago)

martin, you are pleasant.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:01 (twenty years ago)

why did i read this?

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:02 (twenty years ago)

I used to Jess!

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:03 (twenty years ago)

martin, you are pleasant.
-- tokyo rosemary

Thank you, rosemary, but I wanna hear it from gareth.

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:05 (twenty years ago)

VISION CREATION NEWSUN

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:06 (twenty years ago)

I like how when john doesn't like something he says it sucks.

yeah, NO ONE ELSE does that.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:07 (twenty years ago)

lauren, get out of my thread!!!!!

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:09 (twenty years ago)

I'm overcompensating for being a boring antisocial awfward nerd guys!!!! But no one ever has brought this point up on ILX becuase everyone on here is a total fucking social retard.

Jon is nice! But I'm a social retard so I would say that.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:22 (twenty years ago)

JBR!!! When I met you I was in a world of insanity ... so many spacecakes :(((((

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:26 (twenty years ago)

martin is pleasant.
so is jbr.

― i4n (laurae55), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:31 (twenty years ago)

ian is pleasant. we go out on early-bird chicken-dinner dates when i am in nyc.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 25 June 2004 23:33 (twenty years ago)

Ian + Jon + andrew lr + I + $4.45 cream cherry + homo hugs = tonight.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Saturday, 26 June 2004 00:38 (twenty years ago)

+ OMIGOD I FORGOT LAURA!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Saturday, 26 June 2004 00:41 (twenty years ago)

I like quantifying stuff

It's not the quantifyin'! It's the way you make this big 'fuck y'all, I don't care anyway' ("the sum total of how much people on ILX care about me is much greater than how much I care about the sum total of people on ILX" etc) point and then instantly post something ("Do people like me more than CMAN at least???") thats a) really needy-sounding and b) draws attention to the fact that you've just made the exact same lame annoying argument that Cal*m makes all the time in his "I am the star of ILX" posts.

I dunno, I feel a bit weird about analysing like this where Jon'll read it, I'm just tryin' to put my finger on why I like his posts.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 26 June 2004 00:59 (twenty years ago)

I think Jon has confused being bored and/or annoyed with being interested.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:06 (twenty years ago)

This thread is sweet. But what does it have to do with nipple piercing?

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:19 (twenty years ago)

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20022.jpg

Jeremy, Ian, Jon

♥ luuuuv

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Which one is Jon? And which one is his lover? And which one is just the fuck buddy?

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:30 (twenty years ago)

is there NOT a picture of jon williams where he's all blurry?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago)

The guy in the stripey shirt is Jon?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago)

Ian's the cutest.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago)

And are those webbed fingers? Ewww!

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:32 (twenty years ago)

awwww

fwiw: i think jon is a really nice guy </brokenrecord>

― gygax! (gygax!), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:33 (twenty years ago)

Jon's in the stripey shirt, Ian's in the middle Jeremy's on the left. - Jeremy

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:35 (twenty years ago)

i like the afghan blanket.

― gygax! (gygax!), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:36 (twenty years ago)

everyone on here is a total fucking social retard.

This is what makes this forum a hell of a lot better than every other online forum out there. Or one of the reasons why, anyway.

Right now, the only people I'm really giving a shit about are those people who give a shit about me. I could stand to be more "Christian-like", sure, but this makes life a hell of a lot simpler for me.

*yawns in the general direction of most people on this thread*

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago)

But I must know, are those webbed fingers???

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago)

Jon kinda looks like Ian MacKaye in that pic.
also, fwiw: he seems perfectly reasonable on AIM.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:41 (twenty years ago)

He's reasonable on AIM and in the sack. (- says Ian and Jeremy)

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:42 (twenty years ago)

I always pictured Jon as looking more like Glenn Branca than like Jimmy Sommerville.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:42 (twenty years ago)

i always kind of pictured him as the kid from problem child

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:44 (twenty years ago)

Reasonable?. Like he can be reasoned with? OKay, Jon, if you'll lick my ass tonight, tomorrow I'll take out the trash. But you're supposed to take the trash out! Oh, right. Okay, and I'll pay the light bill next month. Fine. In that case, turn over...

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:44 (twenty years ago)

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20028.jpg
Jeremy

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:50 (twenty years ago)

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20029.jpg
Jon

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:51 (twenty years ago)

2004 ILX NOISEDUDES CALENDAR

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:51 (twenty years ago)

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20030.jpg
Ian

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago)

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20031.jpg
Andrew

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago)

http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20032.jpg
Laura E

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago)

Jon, you need to spend more time in the sun.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:55 (twenty years ago)

light not flAttering

― jw (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago)

were you guys trying to take pictures during epileptic fits or what?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:02 (twenty years ago)

They're not called "fits" they're called "spells." god, you're insensitive.

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:03 (twenty years ago)

whatever you say, Blanche.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:05 (twenty years ago)

as if i matter, you don't bug me jon, except when you post backgrounds to threads. i don't want to have to disable images just because of you. but that's all really.

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:07 (twenty years ago)

They can also be called momentary freak out bursts, Aaron. But really, you should think about others.

― Skottie, Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:10 (twenty years ago)

IAN - I HAVE THAT T-SHIRT

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:12 (twenty years ago)

In real life I don't have a mustache, nor is Jon that bald - Jeremy.

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:16 (twenty years ago)

ok, then. were you guys trying to take pictures during momentary freak out bursts or what?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:20 (twenty years ago)

JW does look way more bald than usual in these pics.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:37 (twenty years ago)

i always knew that i liked ian.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:57 (twenty years ago)

I think Jon Williams is gr8

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 26 June 2004 03:02 (twenty years ago)

X JEREMY SEZ: OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIFUCKING GOD YOU HOLY SHIT WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED! JON JUST TRANSUBSTANTIATED INTO A FUCKING ANIMTED .GIF!!!!

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 26 June 2004 04:00 (twenty years ago)

Jon is fun and entertaining he gives us all fun and joy he is fun and fun fun fun in the sun (lack of sun)

Ian, I have the same Black Flag shirt (gasp!)

It's all ratty though:(

Jon looks like Lee Harvey Oswald and Pee Wee Herman's bastard child.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 04:39 (twenty years ago)

In a good way I mean, it wasn't intended as an insult.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 04:42 (twenty years ago)

Desperate statement made by aging rock dork: I had a Black Flag shirt like that....WHEN THEY WERE STILL A GOING CONCERN!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 04:43 (twenty years ago)

That aging rock dork being me, of course. And yes, Jon, I wore it with my leather jacket.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 26 June 2004 04:44 (twenty years ago)

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS LOOK SO VERY YOUNG. Ack.

*runs to mirror to check for signs of wrinkles, gray hair*

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 26 June 2004 05:39 (twenty years ago)

why did i read this?

-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner57@

A good question, Fritz, and one I'm asking myself as well.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 26 June 2004 07:22 (twenty years ago)

I don't mind jon.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 26 June 2004 16:35 (twenty years ago)

WE ALL HAVE TEH BLACK FLAG SHIRT

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago)

I love Jon and the maelstrom of negative opinions, personal catastrophes and insanity that surrounds/engulfs him.

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:54 (twenty years ago)

But do you love him enough to mail him some Ritalin?

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:57 (twenty years ago)

I hate Jon after reading this thread. WTF SERIOUSLY

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Saturday, 26 June 2004 20:59 (twenty years ago)

jon is much better than a lot of other posters.

― todd swiss (eliti), Saturday, 26 June 2004 21:05 (twenty years ago)

(s'not hard)

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Saturday, 26 June 2004 21:14 (twenty years ago)

But do you love him enough to mail him some Ritalin?

You got me there.

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Saturday, 26 June 2004 21:17 (twenty years ago)

Seriously, expend enough hate on a relatively anonymous poster on ILX to me makes some people come across as greater comedians than C-Man and Jon will ever be (Marcello would be funny, but each time I saw the posts attached to his name, I kinda felt like I was staring into the abyss).

― I am not a mandible (Barima), Saturday, 26 June 2004 21:19 (twenty years ago)

ok i guess one problem with jon-on-this-board is that the ratio of "just having fun" goofing off (which so often means huge images, making fun of various people, etc.) to actual interesting comments is really high. actually jon never seems to contribute anything particular interesting at all. which is fine, if that's the kind of board he and others want. that's cool. fortunately for me there are people here interested in other stuff too. so i guess jon's worst sin on this board (in my eyes) is really just being pretty boring, which makes the hubbub over him twice as boring.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 27 June 2004 02:50 (twenty years ago)

to "just having fun" i should add starting threads about his sex life, his sexual partners, etc. etc. that don't really seem to add up to much more than him parading same in front of a bunch of virtual strangers. again, that's cool if he wants to do that, and if all this friends join in that's cool for them, but i personally find it very boring. so why am i posting here? because every so often it gets a little worse than boring, like his "all in fun" offensive posts in serious threads, the creeping sexism in others, etc. etc.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 27 June 2004 02:52 (twenty years ago)

amateur!st, do you like NOISE?

Also, fuck you re: "sexism"?

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 03:53 (twenty years ago)

There is definitely a sense of machismo that comes through in your "challenges" ("DO YOU LIKE NOISE?" "CAN THESE LE TIGRE FANS HANDLE WOLF EYES?" "I AM SO EXTREME FOR INSERTING ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE INTO THIS DISCUSSION FOR NO GOOD REASON"), whatever your pretentions to the contrary.

I don't see how fucking me will help erase the sexism charge, though.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 27 June 2004 03:58 (twenty years ago)

This is the thread where I teach you all how to handle Jon Williams Simply lift...and separate!

you two, play nicely!

― Skottie, Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:04 (twenty years ago)

where do you get off being a nasty dickwad to someone who has never attacked you or done anything to you? nutchomper

xpost

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:06 (twenty years ago)

I do contribute to threads about BOREDOMS and WOLF EYES.

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:08 (twenty years ago)

sorry, i guess i did pass into nasty dickwad territory. apologies.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:10 (twenty years ago)

This is the thread where I teach you to map the human genome!

― Skottie, Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:11 (twenty years ago)

no, fuck you. this is the thread where i separate the sheep from the goats@!#!@!@@!!@ bitches!@!!@

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:13 (twenty years ago)

With the crowbar of your love

― Skottie, Sunday, 27 June 2004 04:15 (twenty years ago)

amateur!st, it's kind of lame to bandy about accusations of sexism based on something as flimsy as "challenges." Both because it's a reasonably serious accusation, and because I don't think it's true.

Jon may be an asshole sometimes, but he's an equal opportunity asshole.

― Laura E (laurae55), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:03 (twenty years ago)

dude, what happened to the hippy love crap that was going on before!??! JON IS PLEASANT; GET A SENSE OF HUMOR

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:20 (twenty years ago)

you don't understand

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:22 (twenty years ago)

Actually, come to think of it, how much do most people around here really know about Jon (or Ian, for fairness's sake)? They post a lot of things on this forum, but most of it seems to be just banter back and forth between various individuals they already know offline. I don't know of one single opportunity they've given for any of the rest of us to get to know who they are, and I don't know if it's because they steadfastly refuse to acknowledge other people's existences or because they're just immature and needing to grow up in order to realize what it is they're doing. I am hoping for the latter considering their youth and am hoping they won't be doing this sort of thing ten years from now, but I'm not holding my breath just in case.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:24 (twenty years ago)

I think accusations of his sexism stem more from, oh things like referring to women as manatees and fat chicks than any macho challenging.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:28 (twenty years ago)

xpost: i've known jon for 7 years; i think i understand.

Halo: all very well to assasinate character under the "i don't know if they're just immature" front, but i don't appreciate being smeared just because you don't keep track of all of my posts.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:29 (twenty years ago)

Dee otm. So is 'overcompensating'.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:31 (twenty years ago)

well, her first two sentences at least.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:33 (twenty years ago)

I suppose I could investigate and then come back here and write something. But I don't spend much time here myself (more frequently I'm bitching about politics over at the Daily Kos) or know you guys perosnally so perhaps it would be more hearsay. However, if they all are at a noise show in town I'll go too. I haven't gone to see any local shows 'cause I don't know anyone around Prov RI who would be into it, which is a shame, back in the late 90s I borrowed a car and drove 2 1/2 hours just to catch Six Finger Satellite opening for somebody..

― daria g (daria g), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:36 (twenty years ago)

Dee (and gabbneb, I guess): I post plenty on ILM. I conceded my posts on ILE (especially lately?) may be a little childish or lacking in content.

BUT AT LEAST I DON'T GO OUT OF MY WAY TO BE AN ASSHOLE.

xpost to Daria: I don't know of upcoming good shows until the end of July when Immaculate:Grotesque is playing at AS220, and I enjoy that a lot; droning walls of static. I dunno if that's your bag, though. Did you go to the Chinese Stars/!!! show?

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:41 (twenty years ago)

p.s. -- i do not 'steadfastly ignore,' but i do think i lot of folk on ilx are some royally solipsist asshats. but i do like jon! hmmmm interesting

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:46 (twenty years ago)

p.p.s. -- i am drunk

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:47 (twenty years ago)

also, FWIW: What's the difference between Jon & I talking to one another on this board and any other individuals having a conversation? Because we know each other IRL we ought to not communicate to one another here? And saying I/we don't contribute anything is kind of silly; if you cared to look, today alone you could have found out what kind of Chinese food I like, what I think about the new Sonic Youth album, that I recommend the Pauline Oliveros/Reynols collaboration, what I think about White Belts, and what made me smile on Kingdom of Loathing today.

So don't be silly and make broad, inaccurate statements. Similarly, as I stated above, I don't go out of my way to piss people off or be an asshole. Jon does, sure, but I don't deserve shit just for being friends with him and finding him to be funny. I mean, c'mon. It's only a messageboard. If any of us care enough about it to get sincerely upset at one another, there's something seriously fucking wrong.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Sunday, 27 June 2004 05:51 (twenty years ago)

q.v.: ILX Mods plot Jon Williams death via hitman! [aka Bored Of The Flies 2004]

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 06:07 (twenty years ago)

I am able to seperate between you and Jon, and I think many others can as well.
FWIW, I don't hate either of you or have ever been "sincerely upset" by y'all. I have no real idea who Jon actually is (yes, this is the case for virtually all ILXors, but even moreso with Jon---he seems like a character and like I said, I have a hard time imagining him as a real person, driving SUVs and having dinner with his parents) and so hating him would be like hating Archie Bunker or something.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 27 June 2004 06:12 (twenty years ago)

boring != an asshole

i hate to see what ilx would do if an "average" college student washed up on these shores

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 07:09 (twenty years ago)

then again an "average" college student isn't enough of a social retard to obsessively post to an internet message board

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 07:11 (twenty years ago)

Jon seems more like a real person to me than anyone else on ILx

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 27 June 2004 14:24 (twenty years ago)

i hate to see what ilx would do if an "average" college student washed up on these shores

internet territorialism is pretty lame, dude, and ultimately pointless.

besides, hating on jon only feeds him. (sfx: "oh no! the monster has absorbed my energy ray! it has only made him stronger!!! reverse polarity &c")

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 14:31 (twenty years ago)

what's wrong w/ ladytron, btw?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 June 2004 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Well err, um.. I.. let's just say it's not my thing. But it negates Jon's ability to call people fags due to their musical taste.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Sunday, 27 June 2004 17:00 (twenty years ago)

surely, even if one were to stop jon from calling people fags b/c he likes ladytron wouldn't he just start calling them fags for some other reason?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 June 2004 17:02 (twenty years ago)

I've kissed dudes before

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 17:08 (twenty years ago)

I've kissed dudes before

< jim nabors as gomer pyle voice >

SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!

< /jim nabors as gomer pyle voice>

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 June 2004 17:10 (twenty years ago)

fritz otm

― dave k, Sunday, 27 June 2004 17:23 (twenty years ago)

(14:50:28) XXXX: you are not as adorable as damon albarn. maybe compraple to graham. but thats a big maybe. :D

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 17:50 (twenty years ago)

andrew i think you have reading comp problems

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:14 (twenty years ago)

that's the american educational system for you

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:14 (twenty years ago)

jess, I hear your mom calling

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:14 (twenty years ago)

can you drive me home in your SUV?

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:16 (twenty years ago)

if your mom isn't using it, that is.

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:16 (twenty years ago)

my mom's SUV? (xpost!!!)

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:16 (twenty years ago)

hugglez

― benito mussolinington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:17 (twenty years ago)

i am a boring college student dudes.

― artdamages (artdamages), Sunday, 27 June 2004 18:32 (twenty years ago)

xpost
no reading comp problems overall, but a massive hangover (see drunken posts above) blah :(

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Sunday, 27 June 2004 19:03 (twenty years ago)

Ian and Jon playa hataz be need to chill... and be especially watchful of the how long have you known him comments ... even if it were not for the fact that we've been friends for many moons, I'd still find him one of the most entertaining posters on the board.

And I'd bristle at any suggestion that Jon's affecting machismo for some strange reason here, as this is the same affected machismo he demonstrates in other facets of his life. It is, I've learned, not affected at all but proof that Jon is the most masculine bull-lesbian in the world who's reifying her feminity through immersion in the culture of adolecent male hypersexuality. So much so that s/he's masturbated in four of my sleeping bags and eaten hairpie in my closet.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 27 June 2004 20:03 (twenty years ago)

also by Ian and Jon I meant Jon because I took the Ian comments out of that post.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 27 June 2004 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Jon and Ian are hardly the only posters whose posts are primarily aimed at their IRL/offline friends.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 27 June 2004 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Do you guys like BURRITOVILLE?

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Sunday, 27 June 2004 20:19 (twenty years ago)

do you?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 27 June 2004 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Can someone direct me to the Orgone Accumulator, please? Whoops, wrong party!

― Momus (Momus), Sunday, 27 June 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago)

FAGGOT

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 27 June 2004 22:45 (twenty years ago)

momus, it's in maine at the reich museum.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 27 June 2004 23:42 (twenty years ago)

do u like scritti politti, jon?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 June 2004 23:54 (twenty years ago)

so that s/he's masturbated in four of my sleeping bags Jeremy, how many sleeping bags do you have? Four sleeping bags is just plain weird.

― Skottie, Monday, 28 June 2004 00:02 (twenty years ago)

"sleeping bags" may be a metaphor for something else?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:04 (twenty years ago)

Aha! Let sleeping bags lie!

― Skottie, Monday, 28 June 2004 00:06 (twenty years ago)

Jon is my favourite pokemon trainer

― boom! i fucked your hard-drive (don), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:08 (twenty years ago)

ian and jeremy make shishka-jon

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:09 (twenty years ago)

(that pic of the 3 of 'em upthread looks like the opening scene of a cheap gay gangbang flick)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:15 (twenty years ago)

In a good way?

― Skottie, Monday, 28 June 2004 00:18 (twenty years ago)

only if either ian or jeremy foot-fucks ian.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:21 (twenty years ago)

foot-fucks JON, i mean.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:22 (twenty years ago)

Another group hug:
http://members.cox.net/laurae55/Picture%20023.jpg

― Laura E (laurae55), Monday, 28 June 2004 00:23 (twenty years ago)

"13 years of age onward (or from puberty on). Your development over the latency period allowed you to enter the final genital phase. At this point, you learned to desire members of the opposite sex and to fulfill your instinct to procreate and thus ensure the survival of the human species.

To explain the early psycho-drama of your childhood, Freud turned to a dramatic work, Sophocles' Oedipus Rex, in which Oedipus (who, according to a prophecy, is fated to sleep with his mother and kill his father) attempts to escape his fate but, in the process, unwittingly does the very things he was attempting to avoid. Freud therefore coined the term, the Oedipus complex. One should note that anyone can get arrested at or insufficiently grow out of any of the primal stages, leading to various symptoms in one's adult life. (See fixation and regression.)

One thing "you" have surely noticed is the decidedly masculine bent of Freud's story of sexual development. Indeed, Freud often had difficulty incorporating female desire into his theories, leading to his famous, unanswered question: "what does a woman want?" As Freud states late in life, "psychology too is unable to solve the riddle of femininity" ("New Introductory Lectures" 22.116). It is for this reason that many feminists have criticized Freud's ideas and one reason why many feminists interested in psychoanalysis have turned instead to Kristeva. (See also Gender and Sex.) To explain women, Freud argued that young girls followed more or less the same psychosexual development as boys. Indeed, he argues paradoxically that "the little girl is a little man" ("New Introductory Lectures" 22.118) and that the entrance into the phallic phase occurs for the young girl through her "penis-equivalent," the clitoris. In fact, according to Freud, the young girl, also experiences the castration-complex, with the difference that her tendency is to be a victim of what Freud terms "penis-envy," a desire for a penis as large as a man's. After this stage, according to Freud, the woman has an extra stage of development when "the clitoris should wholly or in part hand over its sensitivity, and at the same time its importance, to the vagina" ("New Introductory Lectures" 22.118). According to Freud, the young girl must also at some point give up her first object-choice (the mother and her breast) in order to take the father as her new proper object-choice. Her eventual move into heterosexual femininity, which culminates in giving birth, grows out of her earlier infantile desires, with her own child now taking "the place of the penis in accordance with an ancient symbolic equivalence" ("New Introductory Lectures" 22.128)."

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 28 June 2004 01:23 (twenty years ago)

(one who smelt it dealt it)

also, and xxxxpost to skottie: after years of high school sleepovers in my basement in which jon (and, admittedly, others) used various sleeping bags belonging to members of my family, it seemed time for mother-jeremy to air out the bedrolls. and when she did she found dessicated spooge splatters all over them. conclusions were drawn, new bags were purchsed.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 June 2004 01:55 (twenty years ago)

dude, there's no way i did that in 4

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:01 (twenty years ago)

it's easier for me to believe you were their originator rather than my dad. plus, i built in some elasticity w. conclusions were drawn.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:05 (twenty years ago)

DNA TESTING TIME!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:10 (twenty years ago)

dude, 4?!?!?!

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:12 (twenty years ago)

PJM AND K KETEL?

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:12 (twenty years ago)

jon is teh scene troll xxxtraordinaire

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:19 (twenty years ago)

INT. JEREMY's BASEMENT: DAY.

+ MOM
+ Jeremy, come down here.

+ JEREMY comes down the stairs, holding Moxie and an Evelyn Waugh novel.
+
+          JEREMY
+     What the hell is it?
+
+          MOM
+     Don't swear. And there's some kind of ... mold ...
+
+          JEREMY
+     That's not mold, it's, er...
+
+ Jeremy puts foot in mouth, fidgets with book.
+
+          MOM
+     Well, what are they then? These bags haven't been outside in a coupla years.
+
+ Jeremy blushes (which is significant, considering his skin tone).
+
+          MOM
+     Only place they've been used is when your friends come over. OH, GROSS!

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:20 (twenty years ago)

(this is funnier than ANY excelsior thread EVAH!!!)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:25 (twenty years ago)

jon likes to spread his seed!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:25 (twenty years ago)

so presumably jon williams needs no advice on how to handle himself i gather

― gem (trisk), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:27 (twenty years ago)

I DIDN'T DO THAT TO 4

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:28 (twenty years ago)

he's the johnny appleseed of sploo: distributing his payload from coast to coast, front to back, up to down, jonny jizseed.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:29 (twenty years ago)

JONNY JIZSEED!!!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:30 (twenty years ago)

does jon have any children we don't know about???/

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:33 (twenty years ago)

he's the johnny appleseed of sploo: distributing his payload from coast to coast, front to back, up to down, jonny jizseed.

PLEASE TELL ME THERE'S A WESLEY WILLIS SONG WITH THESE LYRICS

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 28 June 2004 02:33 (twenty years ago)

delte this thread1!@!311234

― People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:34 (twenty years ago)

Jon's children:
http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd600/d672/d67295u763x.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 28 June 2004 02:35 (twenty years ago)

if i were talented musically, i'd do a concept album re a slumber party w/ jon @ jeremy's place.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:35 (twenty years ago)

does jon have any children we don't know about???/

what the fruit of his union with one/multiple sleeping bag/s?

― gem (trisk), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:36 (twenty years ago)

momus to thread!

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:36 (twenty years ago)

Here is his thread history regarding said website if in fact you are interested at all.

[link deleted]

'i would like to search for posts by: WIZARDISHUNGRY'.

― Herve, Monday, 28 June 2004 02:39 (twenty years ago)

http://www.superdairyboy.com/pictures/basicfun/keychains/gloworm.jpg (xpost to gem)

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:40 (twenty years ago)

what the fruit of his union with one/multiple sleeping bag/s?

it would look like meatwad from aqua teens!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:44 (twenty years ago)

YOU ARE MEATWAD -- A little ball of raw hamburger
meat, Meatwad is a friendly, optimistic, happy
little fellow. He is extremely dumb, however,
and often very gullible. He loves dancing,
playing with his homemade dolls, and is often
chased and injured by Master Shake. Does very
little for the Aqua Teens, but he has a good
heart.

What 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force' character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:51 (twenty years ago)

the mind boggles

― gem (trisk), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:51 (twenty years ago)

jon williams, jr.

http://animatedtv.about.com/library/graphics/Meatwad.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 02:53 (twenty years ago)

Four in the bag is worth, well, what's it worth?

― Skottie, Monday, 28 June 2004 04:30 (twenty years ago)

If I had a nickel for every odd palce I jizzed in...I'd have about 75 cents.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 28 June 2004 06:33 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

ILX is a pack of stupid, stupid cunts

― Confirm/deny (bato), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

go find a better board and report back

― Yawn (Wintermute), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

gabbneb, that was brilliant.

-- AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, June 25, 2004 5:36 PM (Friday, June 25, 2004 5:36 PM) Bookmark Link

don't hear that so much these days...

― tehresa, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 05:31 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.douglas.ru/files/aromats/obsession_night_men_vis.jpg

― gabbneb, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 05:57 (seventeen years ago)

7. Offer to frankly discuss his ex-girlfriends fingering his asshole whenever the opportunity presents itself.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 12:19 (seventeen years ago)

a sentence that needs careful parsing.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 12:21 (seventeen years ago)

good revive -- tehresa

― chaki, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 12:27 (seventeen years ago)

does a Morbs fondle Jon Williams?

― gershy, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 16:23 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm535nFNZIo

― Nicole, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

IN HIS DREAMS

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 16:39 (seventeen years ago)

i have never had an ex-girlfriend finger my asshole. Maybe a quick post-break-up shag, but asshole fingering means commitment.

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 16:43 (seventeen years ago)

http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-05/lol-nerds.jpg

― DG, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 16:44 (seventeen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2200/2144757336_6cbaa87cb0.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2388/2144757342_5086b4c1be.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2370/2200874892_ff3f958a94.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 17:20 (seventeen years ago)

PRAY AWAY THE GAY

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 17:21 (seventeen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2200/2144757336_6cbaa87cb0.jpg
http://data-allocine.blogomaniac.fr/mdata/7/6/1/Z20010212111706970102167/img/1193763192_eric_stoltz.jpg

― and what, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 17:27 (seventeen years ago)

jesus i was pretty douchey back on this thread in 2004.

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 17:38 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.popsautographs.co.uk/images/fredAstaire.gif

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 17:39 (seventeen years ago)

DID ANYONE SEE WHO LEFT THESE IN MY BED? http://stromandfriends.com/bugles.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 17:51 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

1. If he is being too much of a Boredoms fanboy, tell him to shut the fuck up about the goddamn Boredoms and hit him in the arm.

2. If he calls you a faggot, tell him that it takes one to know one. (Jon is among my gayest straight friends.)

3. If he posts images that bother you, disable images.

4. If he makes snide comments, ask him what happened to his computer for most of last semester.

5. Chides you on your taste in women/men? Bring up Nic0le DiMarc0 and Mega4n B1llingz.

6. If he makes fun of your driving ability, offer to discuss the time he fucked a car up backing out of a parking space.

7. Offer to frankly discuss his ex-girlfriends fingering his asshole whenever the opportunity presents itself.

8. Make fun of him for driving an SUV.

9. If he says you like shitty music, ask him what the fuck that Ladytron CD is doing in his collection.

10. Cut him off from the bonghits unless he stops talking about Kingdom Of Loathing and ILX threads.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, June 25, 2004 5:29 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

poll?

― it's darn and ielle is hot (and what), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:22 (sixteen years ago)

absolutely

― class act, thanks bro (tehresa), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:23 (sixteen years ago)

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