Things that are deemed polite, but I find a bit rude

x-post well if a tree falls in the forest etc

Is this a British thing? What manner of jackets are you talking about?

I will not budge on the burping issue, I think it's important to say "excuse me" or acknowledge the burp. it's a social device to prevent embarassment for either party by deflating the situation.

"Be careful of making the mistake of buttoning the bottom button of a jacket or vest. Bottom buttons were not designed to be buttoned ever since King Edward VII set a fashion trend by his inability to fully close his vest around his kingly girth." (from here)

I don't know what Christmas is like in all your houses. Do you all go up to your rooms and open your presents then go downsatairs and eat your Christmas chips in silence?

I had no idea about the jacket thing. Maybe that's why I always look like a tosser when I wear one.

If you want your notice to be polite, just be polite in the body of the notice. I'll be the judge of whether I think your notice is polite or not, thank you.

for about 2 minutes everyone thought it was alright and then these noxioufumes began to disperse. everywhere. i could hardly stomach a morsel...

Stand up when someone enters the room

Open car door for a lady

Remove mine jacket and place it, devoid of regard for the material quality, atop a puddle so that mine beau can pass whilst retaining dryness of elegant and if i may say slightly fragrant footsies

good call, i'm going with polite for the warning but rude for leaving such a horrid festering odour at all

Yes, people ought to learn to release less smellier shits.

This is, of course, more important during winter in Toronto, when footwear will track in all manner of slush/mud/salt/grit/etc. Don't start on me with the 'why not get a doormat' business, as they do very little in these circumstances - especially with many guests. All the wiping in the world won't stop the inevitable import of yuckiness onto my floor.

I had this one friend who justified keeping his shoes on by claiming that the natural oil and sweat from his feet was far more damaging to floors and carpets than dirt (relevant only during warm, sockless months obv). I cried bullshit.

I don't like it when people come round to my house and I give them tea and when they're leaving they rinse their cup under the tap and put it on the draining board. Do they think that's how I wash up? What kind of a minger do they take me for?

Especially the first one. Imagine a couple of good-at-English punk rock kids sitting in a mall. Guard comes up and says 'I'm going to have to ask you not to loiter here'. Kids (one of whom may have been me) say the following just to be little stymies:

'So when are you GOING to ask us?'
'You don't HAVE to do anything except fix that VPL.'
'Actually they pay us to sit here. Who? THEM, like I said.'

(xpost obv)

"BRAAAAAP! Oh, excuse me. I had the broccoli at lunch today, and I've been on this medication for awhile. BUUUUUUUURRRRRRP! Sorry, sorry. There's nothing I can do about it, is there? It's worse to hold it in, don't you know. GRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUP! I swear to you that I'm not trying to be cute, it's just that I --- OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG."

It's really tragic that we're all stuck with these horrible carnal envelopes that do such disgusting things as slough off skin, emanate various odors, generate strange, viscous substances and the like, but that's life so let's buck up folks. I can barely stand the smell of myself, so don't share the icky things your body can do unless I ask you to. If, however, you obliged to stay in the proximity of other people (train, plane, meeting, wedding vows, non-elective surgery) and your body forces you to sneeze, fart, throw up, burp, give birth, etc...saying 'pardon' is the least you can do. If your case is legitimate, considerate people around you will feel bad for your involuntary humiliation and commiserate.

What about people who take the bottle of wine you brought to the dinner party and stick it in the drinks cupboard. That's bloody rude.

The putting the wine in the 'drinks cupboard' is their right. It's rude to bring over a bottle as a present to the host and expect them to drink it right away. That's not a present it's a contribution. Say you show up at your friends' barbeque with a bottle of tequila (contribution) and an excellent bottle of champagne (gift). The champagne may not be well-suited to the barbeque, but if your hosts feel like drinking it, why not? It's theirs. You gave it to them. If they feel like saving it for a special occasion, that's their prerogative. Just don't come over and give me a Bowie knife as a present, 'cause with that attitude, something bad might happen.

I worked with a guy who had bowel cancer and operations and he explained the whole deal once and then tried not to apologise as he would have been doing it all the time.

also, for dinner. drinks etc, you should take something appropriate to the social event (ie not vodka to a barbeque). ok, depending on friend etc, vodka might be good, but my point is that wine is always ok, and you drink the bottle that night. otherwise you might as well provide em with savings bonds...

this has had me rolling on the fucking floor laughing for about 5 minutes!!!

who the fuck are you? fifty cent?

Also, do people not have mats at their front doors for the cleaning of the shoes so they WONT soil the carpets? Man. You lot would hate visiting my place. I care not a whit about burping, carpet stains, leaving dirty cups on the sink, or whatever.

Also, I wont open a present the moment somone barges in and hands it to me, because inevitably they've done this when I, as the host, am in the middle of trying to cook 4 things and talk to everyone else and find one last spot on the coffee table to put a plate of corn chips. I dont have six pairs of hands you know man, I'm not krishna [/neil]

Plus, peoples feet pong and I hate stinky feet.

'So when are you GOING to ask us?'
'You don't HAVE to do anything except fix that VPL.'
'Actually they pay us to sit here. Who? THEM, like I said.'

-- suzy (theartskooldisk...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2004 10:04 AM. (suzy) (later) (link)

i don't see the value in chastising/humiliating a guy doing his job just because he happened to use a very common construction, of which everyone knows well the intended meaning, but in their adolescence these kids decided was very funny.

u should smell the room after some people dump the remains of their food in the waste-paper basket!

However, if it's really nasty outside and the guest hasn't been thoughtful enough to go up the side steps, which would prevent them from walking on any part of the muddy lawn, I would demand the shoes be taken off before the person even steps on the welcome mat in front. Hasn't happened yet. Don't think it will happen.

Anyone?

Bueller? :(

A septic tank that really really needs to be pumped?

I've learned not to do it around the English. Or rather, whether or not I remove my shoes is an indication of how well I know someone. Unless I know someone well enough to *ask* if it's OK to remove my shoes, I won't remove them.

As to burping, I burp AAAART!!! usually quite loudly. I never apologise for art, it is my self expression.

New thing: I think it's rude to not reveal your real (first at least) name when you're corresponding regularly on a message board. Discuss.

I agree with you, though. (And like I said in the text, yer still Dog Latin to me, Chuck #2!)

It seems, well, shifty or evasive. Like they've got something to hide. Rudeness is all about ignoring social niceties.

in france, the same phrase serves both puposes: Ça va?

and then we moved to england where we have carpet in home and where people outdoors like to walk on grass and mud in their shoes.

i guess i'm passiveagressive or something but really most people i've encountered take their shoes off anyway. i think their minds clicked when they see my spotless carpet and then looked down at their filthy glastonburyesque shoes.

What's to explain? They wiped their asses with the toilet paper and instead of flushing it like the rest of us, they threw it into a wastebasket with one of those flip-lids that you operate with a foot pedal.

I don't know why they did it like this. This was in a small town, and the dad was a bit older, so maybe it had something to do with outhouse etiquette. I noticed when I went to Mexico that the same thing was done in most bathrooms. It was explained to me that Mexico's sewer pipes were too small to handle all of the paper.

Obviously, a full-on bowel movmemet in a wastebasket would be a much worse thing than just throwing some soiled tissue into there. Still, it wasn't a pleasant experience, especially since I never knew where my shoes were once I got there. At least the dad let us all drink wine in the house. You know, that family.

I suppose that it was polite to respond to the posts up above, but maybe a bit rude to include the words "full-on bowel movmemet in a wastebasket" in my post. This thread offers too many questions and too few answers...

RJG, why is the neame thing wrong? Keep your credit card number to yourself, sure, but it's a fundamental part of interaction!

I mean, if it's been raining and the streets are choked with mud, well, that would be one thing. For the most part though, my shoes stay rather clean.

Next time I'm told to take off my shoes before entering a friends house, I'm taking off my socks as well.

THANK YOU Mark, I keep saying this - isnt this what mats are for? Wipe yr feet before entering a house, how hard is that really!?

if you KNOW someone, then, it is nice if they have A name but who cares if it's their REAL one?

Even if the sneezer was on the other side of the room.

Even if the NARTUDOSS had to demand the sneezer's attention in the kind of urgent tones which suggest an immediate total evacuation of the building has just been ordered.

I often used to wonder what catastrophes the NARTUDOSS imagined would befall the earth if the ritual remained unsatisfactorily performed. In such circumstances, capital punishment didn't always seem a HUGE over-reaction....

(You have a shoe tray?)

Sorry, I am currently undergoing severe summer-related allergies and I'm taking my frustrations out on this board at the critiquing of each of my eternuations.

And that's not even counting the amount of SNOW in winter that will melt on a wooden floor and raise the grain/warp the boards.

In my city apt we have tile in the entry so I don't mind so much, but I'm still the one who has to sweep & scrub when the crud builds up. Even the streets & sidewalks are dirty! Are your English sidewalks squeaky clean? Paved with gold, perhaps?

I am loving the idea of a woman giving birth, looking between her legs in mild surprise and saying "oh, pardon me!".

I don't like it when library patrons boom up to the circulation desk and aggressively ask me how I am as a prelude to getting down to business. If anyone is going to be doing the asking, it should be me. The patron's job is to be quiet and speak when spoken to.

xp

Which is odd, considering I try to be so tolerant of religion.

I'm usually tempted to deliver a scathing retort, preferably invoking the name of Satan, but then I remember I'm not 15.

xp

am i the only one who finds this kind of patronizing?

that particular phrasing is, but probably they just are grateful and think "thank you" isn't good enough. it's kind nf annoying when a guy actually inconveniences both of you like in laurel's example, but that's really rare, in my experience.

why is your husband actually insulted by bless you?

i find call waiting rude.

if i said 'you're such a gentleman' id just be kidding around. does anyone really say this seriously anymore?

bless you, doglatin

Oh, and if I sneeze more than once and if you absolutely must disspell those sneeze-imps from the air rather than minding your own bloody business then you don't need to say "bless you" for every time I did sneeze.

I try my very best to keep my sneezing to myself. I put my hand in fornt of my mouth and/or use a handkerchief. I look away or bow my head so as to make this purging appear as discreet as possible - AND THEN YOU COME ALONG WITH YOUR FUCKING MANNERS AND YELL "GOD BLESS YOU LORDY LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL FOR WE SHALL ALL DIE OF SOME TERRIBLE PLAGUE AND DROP TO THE FLOOR LIKE FLIES! SOMEONE FETCH ME SOME SALTS AND A LONG POINTY MASK THAT I MAY INSPECT THE EVIL ONE! OH LOOK IT'S ALL DRIBBLING DOWN YOUR SEPTUM AND THERE'S SOME QUITE BIG BITS OF GOO IN THERE TOO! NO NO A TISSUE IS RIGHT OUT OF THE QUESTION, HOW ABOUT I JUST SAY "BLESS YOU" A COUPLE MORE TIMES AND THAT'LL MAKE IT ALL BETTER?!"

Of course saying "Bless You" is insulting. Imagine if every time you went for a shit I decided to read you a psalm?!

Why do you do that? You're way too polite. Just sneeze in their faces and they won't say bless you.

Just think that if you did, you'd be having to say "bless you" all fucking day long.

I always take my shoes off first thing when I get home and don't put them on unless I have to. I take them off at work too (OH NO THE HORROR), but put them back on if I leave my desk. I'll take them off at someone's house if they ask me to, but usually I leave 'em on.

I think saying 'excuse me' when you burp/fart/give birth/whatever is polite - but I think that's more because I can't say "godDAMN I had kefta for lunch and my burps smell like ASS and now you have to SMELL IT HAHA YOU FUCKER."

Obviously this is not the case Christmas morning, but in my family we really only give presents to the kids anymore, so it's not much of an issue.

doggie el: bless you has nothing to do with god. i sure dont believe in god. why would you hide sneezes? i mean cover your mouth, sure, turn your head, yes, but hide them? who cares? more than that, have you not learnt how to stifle them yet?

and a handkerchief?? youre happy to carry around a ton of snot in your pocket all day and then run it through the rest of your clothes in the wash but 'bless you' is offensive? come on. COME ON!!

listen, everyone knows that when you sneeze your soul opens up to attack from passing demons. a quick 'bless you' seals it up and saves you from some kind of linda blair episode.

oh, and multiple sneezers dont get a bless you from me. i hope the demons get their soul, annoying fuckers.

also annoying and not worthy of a bless you - girls who sneeze cute.

OTM. Drives me nuts.

Multiple sneezers get a "bless you" for the first sneeze, but after that my standard response is "ONLY ONE PER CUSTOMER THANK YOU."

and a handkerchief?? youre happy to carry around a ton of snot in your pocket all day and then run it through the rest of your clothes in the wash but 'bless you' is offensive? come on. COME ON!!

Errr... think you'll find that "bless you" has everything to do with god - or is there some other type of blessing that has nothing to do with religion whatsoever. I mean "bless you" is short for "god bless you" after all, non?

I don't "hide" sneezes, but I sure don't like to shove them in people's faces. As you say, there's a certain amount of discretion required when sneezing. I knew someone who appeared to have never been told to put their hand in front of their mouth and when they sneezed, well - you didn't wanna be there. The beef I have with "bless you-ers" is that they are actively drawing attention that I happen to have gub pouring from my upper orifices and I find that incredibly rude.

stifling a sneeze is very bad for your sinuses as well may i add

I mean, I'm happy to hand out clean woolen socks for keeping feet warm.
-- Laurel (sininspac...), August 21st, 2005 5:27 PM.

This is the cutest thing ever and permanently endears me to anyone who does it for me. (Slippers = bonus points. Sock-slippers = true love.)

maybe you only hang around w/ arseholes, though, vintage latin, who are deliberately making you look stupid by noting you've sneezed. bastards

crossposts

Maybe I shld just say "wahey!".

OTM OTM OTM. ALSO SEE DRIVERS PROCEEDING STRAIGHT THROUGH BUSY INTERSECTIONS TRYING TO "WAVE THROUGH" LEFT-TURNING VEHICLES APPROACHING FROM THE OTHER WAY. NO THANK YOU, KINDLY SOUTHERN DRIVER!

With multiple sneezers I will bless them the first two times, then on the third sneeze I'll say "now you're just taking the piss". This works well with people I don't know.

It's just polite.

So. FUCK! YOU! :-P

I get annoyed when people driving cars disregard the rules of right-of-way to be courteous - even if it's to me. What they consider courtesy can disrupt the flow of traffic, or just cause unexpected situations for other drivers, which means accidents. Don't stop and wave me in front of your car if I'm getting ready to jaywalk. I appreciate you trying to be nice and shit, but if I was in the car behind you, I would be enraged.

OTM. What's even more annoying is when you're waiting to cross a fairly busy road but there is a car coming and you can't be sure whether you'll get across in time. So you wait. And wait. And then you realise that the motherfucking driver is SLOWING DOWN. Except he's slowing down so slowly that you can't be sure. So you wait and wait. Eventually he gets quite close to you and stops and waves you across. Fuck's sake. What a waste of time.

i cant satnd making calls at work and saying "hi there X" then they say "oh hi hows it going" then i have to say "not bad" every fuckin time and then i feel bad for just launching into "i was phoning about this bus station or whatever" rathert than asking them how they are but really i just want to say "hi Bob, do you know whats happening to bus stop 4768923?" or whatever. it makes me feel worse when other people in the office on the phone are like "yeah im ok, trying to hjweofuihwefuiohweiof" or small talk shit then i feel like a fucking robot, but y'know, im at work, im interested in howe my friends are doing, not some engineer dude or construction guy. i mean, i just want a fact from them, not to go down the pub with them.

Bless you.

-- Mr Jones (lesbaxter300...) (webmail), February 11th, 2006 2:13 AM. (Mr Jones) (later) (link)

Chrsit, I thought that little photo of me was it's own image. Sorry.

-- Mr Jones (lesbaxter300...) (webmail), February 11th, 2006 2:14 AM. (Mr Jones) (later) (link)

i love this thread title so much. and i agree with everything in the OP