warning warning DO NOT SEE 'THE VILLAGE' IT IS A PIECE OF SHIT warning warning

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so i saw this movie last night and MY GOD it is so much worse than you ever imagined

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean this might even totally destroy m night shyamalan's career, people at the screening were so pissed off. dude should NOT ever write his own scripts again

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Answer me this -- in terms of making the woods seem creepy, better or worse than, to give a recent example, Blair Witch Project?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

much worse

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, so it's settled, this weekend I'm NOT seeing the Village, but rather, Asian-Americans Get The Munchies. Thanks Slocks!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

does anybody think this guy's movies are any good?

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean i don't want to give away any of the lame "twists," but let's just say shyamalan promises a whole lot that he never delivers

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

To quote from the General Movie anticipation thread: The Villages look as - or more - shitty than M. Night Shamaladingdong's last flick, with even more pseudoreligious new-agey shit. Am I right, or was it just generally crappy? s1ocki - the best way to ensure that nobody'll see it is to spoil the crummy fake-twist ending.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, spoil away. Just post a big spoiler warning or else ask Martin or Sean to change the subject line.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't like the guy's movies but i did think he had an eye for suspensey scary sequences--there were a couple good ones in 'signs,' despite the movie's pious suckiness--but man does he ever shoot himself in the foot here. you won't believe how stupid this movie is.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

hmm. no water-soluble aliens, though?

― el sabor de gene (yournullfame), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

s1ocki -- be a dear and give the ending away.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

ROSEBUD WAS HIS SLED!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

here's two versions of what i WISH had happened:

1. village is in long conflict with mysterious blue beings in the woods, which culminates in a huge battle in which everyone but joaquin phoenix's character is killed. him and his surviving cat take to the forest and he changes his name to gargamel in the climactic last shot when we realize OMG IT'S A SURPRISE SMURFS ORIGIN STORY MOVIE!!!

2. village is in long conflict with mysterious woodland beings which we realize in the last shot are ALIENS and that sigourney weaver's character's last name is RIPLEY and OMG IT'S A SURPRISE ALIEN MOVIE WITH RIPLEY'S GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMA!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, but what did happen?

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

HIS WIFE'S HEAD. IN A BOX.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

OK OK SPOILERS SPOILERS HERE COME THE SPOILERS THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE WATCH OUT FOR THE SPOILERS

HERE BE THE SPOILERS:

ok so hahaha you won't believe this but the creatures in the woods (the ones who wear red robes!) aren't actually monsters at all but the village elders!! they're meant to scare the young ones away from the forest because OMG OMG OMG it's actually THE PRESENT DAY and all the adults are like friends from some support group who retreated in the woods because each of them suffered a SERIOUS PERSONAL TRAGEDY in the city!

and let me tell ya, once i realized those monsters weren't real boy did the movie lose any semblance of interest at all. and wtf, dude sends his BLIND DAUGHTER into the woods to get medicine... anyway it's too complicated to explain right now and i'd rather not, but hooooooo did this movie suck. also worst dialogue ever, which i guess you can explain by the fact that they're actually modern-day people trying to talk old-timey (first hint that things are not what they seem: when did pilgrims ever eat tossed salads?)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope that flight-paths were considered in the placement of this town.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

don't like the guy's movies but i did think he had an eye for suspensey scary sequences--there were a couple good ones in 'signs,' despite the movie's pious suckiness

OTM Especially that part in Signs with the footage of that kid's birthday party. That part was creepy!

― thorJESUHOY (Thor), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

That is the biggest sack of unmitigated shit since Gargantua let down his pants.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Are there any of these moments (the only reason I would be interested) in The Village?

― thorJESUHOY (Thor), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

jeremy: that is actually mentioned in shymalan's totally vain and self-conscious cameo at the end of the movie!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

thor: no

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Old people = scary? Is this a reflection on Hollywood's core demographic?

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

(and i agree with you about the birthday party scene, that was totally good, but there is nothing at all like that here)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

also worst dialogue ever, which i guess you can explain by the fact that they're actually modern-day people trying to talk old-timey

"I say, um, Jebediah, hast thou seen mine container of the electrical effluvia which, er, playest back tunes of great merriment and disport through, uh, the small devices placed in one's earhole?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's all "LET US SPEAK ON THIS MATTER MY CHILDREN"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

TEH MONSTERS ARE PEOPLE - I KNEW IT!!!! I WIN FIVE DOLLARS ON BET HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!

Unbreakable was a great movie though. I'll always forgive him just for that one.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't like unbreakable but this was way worse

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I seriously bet money against this dude who was like "WOAH THIS LOOKS SO TEH CREEPY" and I was like "dude I bet you a fiver that there's not even actually real monsters in the woods". A WINNER IS ME.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought it was sorta charming, i dunno. wasn't great. wasn't scary either!

but i had it figured out VERY early, i swear. something about the first few scenes, and i'm like, 'i bet it's actually today'

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

dude can you explain me WHY DID HE SEND THE BLIND GIRL TO FIND THE MEDICINE IN THE TOWNS IT MAKES NO SENSE AND IS SO STUPID

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

and also WORST BLIND GIRL EVER

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

(in the sense of least convincing performance as a blind girl ever)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

BCZ SINCE SHE'S BLIND EVEN IF SHE GETS THE MEDICINE SHE WON'T KNOW WHATS OUT THERE

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

SO WHY DIDNT HE GO

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean it was a pretty big fucking coincidence that she did get the medicine and didn't fall down a hole or get hit by a truck or just wander off into some other woods or something

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe she had sonar.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i was twigged by all the careful '19th century house' details, something had to be up

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

he took an oath dude! see it all makes perfect sense! especially the idea that someone fleeing the history dept at the u of pennsylvania can authorize satellite reroutes and stuff

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

well he was the son of a billionaire

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

a whole town of kids being brought up to talk this way! ("hezekaiah! you know our laws forbid contractions! do not speak of them henceforth.") and they'll be all inbred! that sort of scary, right?

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

they never did get around to explaining who actually skinned all those goats and left all those warning signs (was it supposed to be adrien brody? but he was inside when that stuff happened!)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

also how bad was that speech that joaquin gave blind girl, when he was all "YES I WILL DANCE WITH YOU ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT MY FAIR, MY SWEET"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

would this be funny if you were stoned? worth ... $2?

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

still, i had a good time watching it. but the movie ended up being a metaphor for itself, ie monsters patrolling the woods to keep town in line = film's increasingly strained justifications for its own premise

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i really liked Unbreakable for lotsa reasons. I never did see the Sixth Sense all the way thru but the 1/2 i did see freaked me out.

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaah adrien brody as village idiot!

― thorJESUHOY (Thor), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah that's the loose end! wm hurt is like "oh, i dunno, one of us is doing it. anyway, good luck!"

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

jon: no i think it would be a pretty boring stoner movie

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

(xp with myself): yeah g--f wasn't that weird?! "uhh it was one of us, don't worry i'll take care of it"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Did they rename all the kids, I wonder.

"Comest here, Moon Unit. Er, Sally Mae."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i think it might be implied that [uh the big irish guy] might be behind it, cos he's melancholy of heart and losing faith etc

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

that's what i thought but come on, how lazy was that

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually maybe the real warning sign in this film is that Shyamalan's name is used so prominently in the advertising -- when your name becomes the franchise, I start to worry.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I kind of want to see this with my own eyes now. Expecting it to be complete and utter shit, I can't be disappointed.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Some ABC movie critic is quoted in the hype on IMDB saying it's the first serious Oscar contender of the year. Hooray!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i think shyamalan would like to be considered the next steven spielberg when he's actually the next john patrick shanley

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually maybe the real warning sign in this film is that Shyamalan's name is used so prominently in the advertising -- when your name becomes the franchise, I start to worry.

but that's been the case since The Sixth Sense!

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

the next john patrick shanley

EURGH. Okay, now you've scared me.

but that's been the case since The Sixth Sense!

Meaning they advertised Unbreakable that way? I sorta half remember Signs getting that treatment, I guess.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"1. village is in long conflict with mysterious blue beings in the woods, which culminates in a huge battle in which everyone but joaquin phoenix's character is killed. him and his surviving cat take to the forest and he changes his name to gargamel in the climactic last shot when we realize OMG IT'S A SURPRISE SMURFS ORIGIN STORY MOVIE!!!"

I was REALLY REALLY REALLY wishing this was serious!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this movie so godawful that it might be funny btw? Cuz it sounds really hysterical from these descriptions (I have decided I am going to see the Manchurian Candidate remake today btw.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this movie so godawful that it might be funny btw? Cuz it sounds really hysterical from these descriptions (I have decided I am going to see the Manchurian Candidate remake today.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I take it you're seeing that film for the same reason. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

s1ocki's like a HUMAN SHIELD that protects us from shitty movies, it's selflessness of JOHN KERRY standards we're seeing here!!!!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"SEND ME"

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

(I am still thinking abotu going to see this though)

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

'aboutu' is almost

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

President Abotu

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

BAH!

...almost Jabootu, which is appropriate.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I'll probably still see this. At the theater where they serve beer. Incredibly droolingly high.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I have only ever seen one movie high. It was Anaconda. Sometimes I wonder why Fox and Time Warner et al aren't pro-legalization.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

the NYT quoted one of the lines (from the blind girl): "i do so want to do boy things."

so s1ocki is it a trenchant metaphor for today's...uh...something?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

this sort of sounds like witness meets cocoon meets invasion of the body snatchers meets blind fury

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I think by "i do so want to do boy things" she meant she wants cock.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't seen the movie though.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think by "i do so want to do boy things" she meant she wants cock.
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...) (webmail), July 30th, 2004 10:08 AM. (nickalicious) (later) (link)

well yes, the NYT reviewer suggested this as well.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a metaphor for today's forests

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

cathedrals of nature dude

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to do girl things, if that helps.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

you will have to get high to see the Anaconda sequel, then.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I cracked up during the Anaconda sequel preview (did they think people who go to see F911 the first weekend are going to see thaT??!??!?!) and the whole theatre giggled.

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"anaconda sequel"!!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean what the fuck?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah isn't just another film called "anaconda" or whatever? i was a little confused myself.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Anaconda II: Electric Boogaloo

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post)no i mean like why the fuck would they make a sequel to that??

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

anacondaS.

It made no reference to the original in the preview. It was weird.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think it has anything to do with the original?!@

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

also, the preview seemed to have nothing to do with HUGE SNAKES for like the first 30 seconds.

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to think of the original Anaconda as being at least a spiritual and symbolic descendent of 80s schlock classic Ssssssssssssssssssssssnake.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

They were both about snakes, you see.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

anaconda sequel? you mean there's MORE snakes out there this big???

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

alien:aliens::anaconda:anacondas

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha yeah it seemed kinda suspenseful and weird and ooh that girl's pretty hot then OH SHIT SNAKES.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon Voight clearly takes himself far too seriously, that's the problem.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

you clearly haven't seen holes

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

so you went to see F911 the first week, huh?

― thorJESUHOY (Thor), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

(which was fucking GOOD!) xp

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

any original stars? Cube? Stoltz? woah, woah, VOIGHT?!?! Didn't he die in the last one?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.bubbasclownsupplies.com/graphics/novelties/SnakeChipCan.gif

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw the preview, and as far as I know it could be a prequel!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/anacondas/high.html

that would be this?

I don't think it has anything to do with the original?!@

Should we all try to seek funding for similar movie projects then? "The lords of the rings", stuff like that?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"Revenge Of The Sith...Seriously"

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

THE VILLAGES

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"attack of the clone" "we, robots".

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"A.Us"

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"Ishtars"

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Harry Potters and the Garden of Labour

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

STAR WAR

― thorJESUHOY (Thor), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

that trailer looks pretty crap EXCEPT for the bit where they're walking thru the swamp, and you see them from above, and you can see the giant fuck-off snake er snaking between them. That bit = teh stuff ov nightmares!@#

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Men On Fires

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

CADDYSHACKS

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Star Warses.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

How Stellas Got Their Respective Grooves Back

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Dudes, Where Are Our Cars?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Turners & Hooches.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Airplanes

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Critter!
Goonie!
Ghoulie!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Gremlin

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

(best threads evers)

― zebedee (zebedee), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Silences Of The Lamb

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Hannibals

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

eight legged freak

alt.

six legged freaks

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

jaw

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Fields of Dream

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Bambis
Seriously...Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Breathlesses

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

paleolithic park

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Rivers Run Through It

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

THX1138s
The Births Of Some Nations

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

DAS BOOTS

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Rogers & Us

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Men With Movie Cameras

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Our Dinners With Andres

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The Many Lives of Brians

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The Even Greater Story Ever Tolds

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

the blobs

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

These Are Spinal Taps

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, Heavenly Dogs!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The Music Men

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

dungeon and dragon (cross marketing posibilites there, obv.)

("das boots" = best one yet!)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

We Were Fugitives On Some Chain Gangs

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Dumbii.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

The Goods, the Bads, and the Uglies

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

M. Night Shyamalan presents...SIGN.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Apocalypses Now
Schindlers Lists

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Panic Rooms

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Fahrenheit 9-12

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Anchormen

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Mad Maxes

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

These Are Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Worlds!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I Spit On Your Graves
Salos
Solaris'

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ocean's Twelves

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Bring THEM On

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Aren't they actually making that one? (ocean's twelve, I mean)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

he likes it hot

― zebedee (zebedee), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Hannahs And Their Sister

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Aren't they actually making that one? (ocean's twelve, I mean)

It's out soon, but this is the sequel to THAT!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

this whole plural thing wasn't really funny to begin with...

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

...

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

But it did pass the time.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

FUNKILLATEUR!ST

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 July 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

how's brendan g in it?

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

he's melancholy of heart.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

(he's the big irish guy right?)

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously JAW!! pash i'm dying over here

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah that's him.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

actually he's fine but he doesn't have much screen time.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.driveintheater.com/website/marquee.jpg http://www.driveintheater.com/website/marquee.jpg http://www.driveintheater.com/website/marquee.jpg http://www.driveintheater.com/website/marquee.jpg http://www.driveintheater.com/website/marquee.jpg http://www.driveintheater.com/website/marquee.jpg

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

wouldn't be nice if we didn't HAVE to turn images off when browsing ILX??

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I use dialup, asshat

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

What is Juno SpeedBand?

Juno SpeedBand is an exciting new product from Juno that accelerates your Web surfing experience using your existing phone jack and modem. Juno SpeedBand INCLUDES your Juno Platinum Service and requires NO additional equipment and NO waiting! It's the high-speed surfing solution with the convenience of dial-up.

― Whiskeytown Littlecock (ex machina), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

this whole plural thing wasn't really funny to begin with...

Then how come I'M GOING TO GET FIRED FOR LAUGHING TOO MUCH!?!?! Seriously, I can't look directly at this thread or else I'll crack up.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 30 July 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

haha this movie sounds ok.

― cºzen (Cozen), Friday, 30 July 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy fuck, even if the twist wasn't that lame I wouldn't see the film, if only because the "creatures" are ACTUALLY REFERRED TO AS "those of whom we do not speak" or some such crap.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i will probably enjoy the film now due to this thread lowering my expectations.

― ryan (ryan), Friday, 30 July 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Amateurist, that was totally worth it just for "Dumbii." I keep giggling and then apologizing to the workplace and then doing it again.

― nabiscothingy, Friday, 30 July 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, i missed "dumbii." that is pretty funny.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

JAW

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 30 July 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, i'll bite: "benjis"

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the spirit, kid.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 July 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I like it. A new abbreviation for "Benjamins." "It's all about the Benjis, G."

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 30 July 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, wow: http://www.suntimes.com/output/ebert1/wkp-news-village30f.html

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 30 July 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

characters who move below the one-dimensional and enter Flatland.

yaaaaay! Flatland reference!

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Saturday, 31 July 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I found out today just how much reviews influence my movie habits. When I got up this morning, I thought that The Village would be really good and The Manchurian Candidate would be really bad. After five minutes on Metacritic, I did a complete 180.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 31 July 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah go ebert!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 31 July 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"This village really needs an East Village!"

SNAP

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 31 July 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

um isn't flatland 2-dimensional?

― alan r. banana (alanbanana), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i figured the movie out from the trailers.

i didn't really hate the movie though, i just knew what was gonna happen.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, and nothing can be less than one dimensional. One dimensional is pretty hard to come by, even.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i knew people were gonna hate this one too just like they did the blair witch project. this shit is why i don't like movies anymore.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Because people make bad ones? Don't apply that logic to everything, or you'll never leave the house.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, i see. strike that.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew the twist to Unbreakable before seeing it but I enjoyed that picture immensely. The Village Trailer looked interesting. Maybe the filmmaker under values his formal skills and thinks his movies are only popular because of twist endings. Maybe the critical smackdown he's getting now will show him otherwise.

― herbert hebert (herbert hebert), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he should just do TV. M Night Shyamalan's "The Twilight Zone."

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"and finally, finally....Jude Law had enough time... he had ENOUGH TIME"

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Saturday, 31 July 2004 03:49 (twenty-one years ago)

haha! "Eventually the secret of Those, etc., is revealed. To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only
to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality
from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to
rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore."

My roommate and his gf came back from this movie and they really like it! I don't know what to think of them!

Also I watched Eurotrip tonight and finally got drunk enuf 1/2 way thru to really like it.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 31 July 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ does Ebert make this film sound horrible

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 31 July 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I really enjoyed Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense but he's been doing this emo spielberg thing for so long everything's being tainted.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 31 July 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I have this rule about hard-to-pronounce names where I'll learn them if I really like their work (if I didn't like his work I'd be calling "Rafe" Fiennes RALPH). I'm finding myself saying M. Night Shamalama more often these days.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 31 July 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually liked it more than I expected. I don't think it was really good, but I expected an awful piece of shit as bad as or worse than Signs, and it wasn't THAT bad (due totally to the "creatures" not being real, unlike the really unscary aliens). The first time I got a glance of one I was like "ooh, a guy dressed up in a chicken suit" and I was really relieved to think it might not even try for some kind of cheap horror thrill. The bit that actually got my interest was [SPOILER] that the village's only criminal was a guy who was mentally ill or disabled or both, and that's what screwed up the elders' plans...the question of just HOW responsible a person who's say retarded or autistic is for hurting someone, how much they actually understand, bothers me a lot in general. It could have just been cliched for the movie to pick up on it, but it could also have been smart.

The lack of contractions in otherwise mostly normal speech made me want to yell at the screen, which I only did once, but still!

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 31 July 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

ps I was at the drive-in, it's okay to yell at the screen a bit

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 31 July 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I could have sworn Hurt's character said "I'm" once, during a heated exchange. And didn't the whole "make haste to the TOWNS to seek out the MEDICINES" thing drive you nuts, too?

― Arthur (Arthur), Sunday, 1 August 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

for all the plot contrivances, I think it held together enough to stay compelling up through the end. I think it's a case of you either like the guy's movies or not, and this one isn't much better or worse than the others. also, I have a huge crush on Bryce Dallas Howard now.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 2 August 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, i loved Signs - such brilliant suspense, despite the absurdity of cold water being able to corrode space lizards skin

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 2 August 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

would have been better had it been called space lizards

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 2 August 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

or better yet: space lizards?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 2 August 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The aliens-getting-keelt-by-water thing was SOOOOO not what bothered me most about Signs. It was that the water hurt them BUT OUR ATMOSPHERE (WHICH CONTAINS WATER) DIDN'T.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 2 August 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and also ALL THE JESUS SHIT.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 2 August 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

nick OTM right
it was also all rippt off
from owen meany

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 2 August 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

This paragraph is why I heart Roger Ebert:

"The story opens with a funeral attended by all the villagers, followed by a big outdoor meal at long tables groaning with corn on the cob and all the other fixin's. Everyone in the village does everything together, apparently, although it is never very clear what most of their jobs are. Some farming and baking goes on."

fixin's!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 2 August 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha, i loved Signs - such brilliant suspense, despite the absurdity of cold water being able to corrode space lizards skin
-- the neurotic awakening of s (stevem7...), August 2nd, 2004.

OTM, sums up my feelings.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 3 August 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Colonial House's fake indians episode was scarier than this steaming pile of shit.

― ddb (ddb), Tuesday, 3 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

btw this movie suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 06:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god, I can't even begin to put into words how much that idea fucking rules.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

An ultraviolent Smurfs origin story would have been fantastic, I would pay to see that.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

it's really easy to make this movie sound awful, but it does have its merits, especially if you're willing to get sucked in by all the actorly acting. I'm seriously considering seeing it a 2nd time.

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

didn't you find it a bit weird how "blind" bryce dallas howard kept looking at everyone she was talking to? and generally carrying on like she wasn't blind?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Howard: "I just tried to do as much research [on the blind] as I could. The first thing I went to was the glazed-over look. And then I went to the Lighthouse in New York City and met a lot of blind people who were looking me in the eye, which was really bizarre. Being in the town, Ivy is not blind, and I had to play it that way."

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

didn't you find it a bit weird how "blind" bryce dallas howard kept looking at everyone she was talking to? and generally carrying on like she wasn't blind?

well, someone mentions in the movie that she wasn't born blind, she went blind later in life. i figured that was the reason - even though she couldn't see, she was still unconsciously acting as if she still could. a really nice touch, i thought.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I found out today just how much reviews influence my movie habits. When I got up this morning, I thought that The Village would be really good and The Manchurian Candidate would be really bad. After five minutes on Metacritic, I did a complete 180.

same here. this = why i try not to read reviews anymore.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

ebert pooped all over this, yet commercials still claim that Ebert & Roper say this is one of the best films of the year, or something. I guess they can get away with that if Roper liked it?

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

is there a single person on god's green earth who cares what richard roeper thinks?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

No, which is why they credited it to the show as a whole. this seems rather disingenuous of the studio. SHOCK.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i saw one of the outdoor movies in chicago's grant park and roeper was introducing with ebert. ebert was being generally pretty eloquent and funny and roeper would occasionally interject with these awful, awful jokes that no one would laugh at. every now and then roeper would basically rephrase something ebert just said and pretend it was his own contribution. ebert must be the most polite and patient man on earth because invariably he would respond, "oh, that's a really great point rich." (with absolutely no evident sarcasm.)

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously that show is like Mr. Burns & Smithers At The Movies Now

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

to be fair roeper's column on "fareinheight 9/11" was pretty otm in a "high school yearbook editor" sort of way.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

FARENHEIT i think, right? ah whatever.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"We all know of his film's record-breaking success at the box office, but how does Michael Moore fare in height when compared to other documentary filmmakers?"

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ebert must be the most polite and patient man on earth

Nah, he just knows what side his bread is buttered on. No "partner" = no "two thumbs up" gimmick = no gravy train. Doesn't matter who the other guy is.

― Kenan (kenan), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd say it's more like "the dumber this guy looks, the better i look."

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

J.D. OTM

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, maybe it's just that the other guy has to be able to squeeze TV-ready soundbites out of his opinions as well as Ebert does, and that's the whole job description. You couldn't have, say, Jonathan Rosenbaum wnd Ebert together. Ebert would review the movie and give it a thumb, and Rosenbaum would tell shaggy dog stories about obscure academic points, and generally come off like a boring old drunk. You have to admit, Roeper's better than *that*.

― Kenan (kenan), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Roeper is also preferable to Carrot Top.

I enjoy imagining Roeper leading a group of chorus girls in a round of "There Is A Man" for Ebert's pleasure.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha

― Kenan (kenan), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"to friends he's known as Roger but to you he's just Eberrr--rrrr-rrrt! BerberberberberBERT! EBERT!"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

he does seem destined for pom poms and sweaters with big letters on them

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, now how FUCKING GREAT would Ebert & Roeper become if Roeper was replaced with Vincent Gallo and it was Ebert & Gallo? I for one would not miss an episode EVER. Discuss.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

at least until the term "you fat fuck" is used for the 99th time.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

oh like that would ever get old

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.popculturecorn.com/print/stories/00/images/inline/hatedmovie-cover.jpg

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

that book is pretty enjoyable, actually

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Ebert's positive reviews that I often find baffling

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I read that. He's wrong about Blue Velvet and Caligula, though.

Ebert & Gallo would have to be on HBO of course

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with you re: Blue Velvet.

Bob Guccione, Sr. agrees with you re: Caligula.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i love, love, LOVE that book cover

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Bob Guccione, Sr. agrees with you re: Caligula.

What I meant was Caligula actually works as unintentional comedy (IT'S FUCKIN HILARIOUS!!) while Ebert seems to think it's unenjoyable on any level whatsoever.

The porn in it sucks and is pretty tame, btw.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ebert's review of jack frost (the snowman movie with michael keaton) in that book is awesome. it more tahn redeems any of his more questionable reviews.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Did anyone actually see the episode where they reviewed The Village? It was pretty funny -- Roeper was SHOCKED that Ebert gave it a bad review. The conversation was like:

Roeper: "Wait, so you're saying it was a BAD film?"

Ebert: "Yes, I thought it was a bad film."

Roeper: "I can't believe you would call it a BAD film. Really? A BAD film?"

Ebert: "Yes."

Roeper: "A BAD film. Wow."

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

A higher-than-two-thirds drop-off in business following opening weekend = not a ringing endorsement.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

order is restored to the universe

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

I thought the Village was okay, I enjoyed it. It's a relaxing horror/suspense film, it's a new genre.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 30 August 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

the unsuspenseful suspense film!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 30 August 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"That suspense movie wasn't suspenseful, but it sure was relaxing!"

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Monday, 30 August 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

It was ok I thought! It would have been better if there actually was a supernatural element to it.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

WHEN COME BACK BRING GHOSTS

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

AND XENOMORPHS

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 30 August 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

and Xena, Warrior Princess

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 30 August 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It sounds like a Scooby Doo episode.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 30 August 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

only boring and self-important

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 30 August 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I have met someone who liked this film.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

m night shyamalan's is supposed to be directing a film of Yann Martel's Life of Pi next. He's going to ruin it by the sound of things.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

And the big twist is THE TIGER IS SECRETLY A LION!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The Tiger is Bruce Willis!

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Look Who's Floating

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

MR SHYAMALONG PLS DROP THE "SURPRISE" ENDING THING AND MAYBE YR MOVIES MIGHT BE KICKASS, KY? HOLLA BACK

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea where that KY came from and what I was implying with it. I am getting a wee bit OUT OF CONTROL over here.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe more KY is what his films need...

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

and Xena, Warrior Princess
-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), August 30th, 2004.

XENAPMORPHS

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

I saw this tonight... I laughed through much of it.

I figured out The 6th Sense in about 10 minutes and told my XGF who punched me in the arm and I couldn't even be bothered to finish Unbreakable because by the stadium part, I really didn't care what happened to either character regardless of what shocking plot twist awaited.

But I thought the Village was funny. It was like the Truman Show meets Jurassic Park meets Little House On The Prairie meets The Sound & The Fury (Caddy/Benjie) but with a unintentionally hilarious plot, hilariously overdone acting, I expected blind girlto bring back a pizza and a cellphone along with the medicines.

― gygax! (gygax!), Saturday, 19 March 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

god, I hated Unbreakable. Bruce Willis looking tired + slow pace + Samuel L. Jackson in long overcoat does not = a good film. M. Night Shamalon, I call bullshit!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Saturday, 19 March 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

Okay, the scenes of Blind Girl in the forest all by her lonesome were good enough to render this almost defensible.

I think I was less annoyed, having had the twist spoiled, than if I went in blind expecting suspense/horror.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 17 September 2005 03:52 (twenty years ago)

when she gets chased by adrien brody?!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 17 September 2005 05:41 (twenty years ago)

Well, I came in halfway (right as she's being led toward the Shed That Shall Not Be Touched or whatever), I thought it was just her fear, until his face was revealed. But yeah.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 17 September 2005 06:12 (twenty years ago)

As stupid as the half I saw way, it seemed to be worlds better than Signs or the Sixth Sense.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 17 September 2005 06:14 (twenty years ago)

haha tossed salads

― geoff (gcannon), Sunday, 18 September 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

I like all these movies. And I NEVER see the twist coming, because the lights dim in my brain as well as in the theater (or livingroom). I'm like a sheep, rolling on my back, exposing my underbelly to the fangs of the Hollywood wolf. All they have to do is flash a little CGI in front of me and I'm total tapioca. Anything with special effects or time travel or clones or any kind of weirdness. Very very low standards, that's me. And I have so much fun. Way more than y'all. I don't think you folks are drinking/smoking enuf.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 18 September 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

how i wish it were true.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 18 September 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

I am so sorry. Perhaps a mild head injury is called for.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 18 September 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

I only mildly disliked this until the twist took it to new levels of badness.

― jeffrey (johnson), Monday, 19 September 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/hollywood/hollywoodsides/0228061woods1.html

― Adam Rice Lacucaracha (nordicskilla), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

Did Terrified Boy #1 really give $180 worth of performance?

― Adam Rice Lacucaracha (nordicskilla), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

awesome

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

when did pilgrims ever eat tossed salads?

Geoff I am so with you on this.

― Dan (ROFFLE) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

those were some cold winter nights

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

It's coming! It's coming! It's in the trees! It's a fucker in lion-quills! Kill him!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

Dan your description of this movie on the War of the World thread is the greatest thing ever.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

This sounds like the funniest movie ever made. EVER.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

wow, it seems i didnt mind this movie when it came out. i never saw it again, though, and it hasn't stayed in my memory

― latebloomer: band to the planet mars (latebloomer), Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:02 (nineteen years ago)

i guess the worst thing about it is that despite the absurdity of the plot, its too dull to be campy fun

― latebloomer: band to the planet mars (latebloomer), Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:12 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

finally saw this, on TV earlier, out of curiosity, expecting it to be bad but because i'd remembered ILX people hating it of course it did not seem half as bad in the end despite the boring dip midway through after the 'not actually monsters' confirmation. enjoyed the later twist but i rarely foresee such things (thankfully). ignorance is bliss, or in this case, just reasonably pleasant viewing.

― blueski, Sunday, 6 January 2008 00:54 (eighteen years ago)

Dued I was supposed to watch this for this 'easy A' type college class called "Gender in the Movies." I have no idea why; I skipped class that day, and most other, which is why I got a big fat 'F.'

M. Night was in People's "sexiest man" issue this year. ?!?!????!

― Abbott, Sunday, 6 January 2008 01:07 (eighteen years ago)

perhaps he is more dashing than matt damon

― blueski, Sunday, 6 January 2008 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

worked it out anyway:
villagers = us
elders = government
dude with the truck = extra-terrestrials
m night = god

― blueski, Sunday, 6 January 2008 01:34 (eighteen years ago)

because the lights dim in my brain as well as in the theater (or livingroom)

Beth is awesome

― blueski, Sunday, 6 January 2008 01:36 (eighteen years ago)

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