So, right, then, who do you fancy?

People I wouldn't kick out of bed...

1) Peter Holmstrom of the Dandy Warhols. OK, despite the fact that idol-worship is invariably *ruined* by getting to know your idols, every now and then, I still see a picture of him, and just go "uuuuhhhh..." 2) Sonic Boom. Living proof that dirty dronerock boys from Rugby can have cheekbones, too. 3) Damien Hirst. Brains can be as attractive as looks. Besides, you just know he'd be absurdly *dirty* in bed. 4) Jeff Davies out of BJM/Smallstone. Uuuuuuhhhhhhh... 5) DanandOllie out of the Channel 6. This isn't even a crush any more. In fact, I don't actually want to sleep with either of them, either. It's not actually about *them* - as evidenced by the fact that I no longer distinguish between the two of them. It's just one of those things that has been going on for so long that it's become one of my personality quirks. Kate fancies the C6. I mean, if I *didn't* say something about them it would be odd, you know?

OK, just a general list of other boys I think are pretty: Nicky Wire (well, duh!), the keyboardist out of Sigur Ros, Nick out of Fonda500, posessor of the "Best Fringe In Rock", Mark Gardener (yes, still, even bald!), errrmmmm... gosh, I really must be sick if I/m having problems raising a flush of hormones about anyone. Most shameful boy I find attractive is probably Crispian Mills. If only I could tape his mouth shut and just have him stand there looking pretty. (hmm, kind of the way I feel about Nicky Wire. Wonder if there's something to that?)

Will probably add more boys who want to adore me as I think of them.

You're totally on the money about Mark Gardener. I got involved with college radio because the boy in charge looked exactly like him.

britney -- like i said that one night, it's like screwing america. and who hasn't wanted to do at least once?

beyonce -- i can only hope that she is my destiny.

nelly furtado -- but only if she promises not to rap or chant or whatever she does on that missy remix.

penelope cruz and salma hayek -- um, they're hot?

julianne moore -- because she was without makeup for almost all of safe and still looked great.

winona ryder -- fucking beck, man. he got her when she looked her best in years. beck's almost enough to put me off entirely. but not quite.

laetitia casta -- we'd speak the language of love.

thandie newton -- though i imagine dan and i would have to fight for her affection, and a menage a trois, with dan, is OUT OF THE QUESTION.

mila kunis -- some days, it's donna; some days it's jackie. today it's jackie.

mila kunis -- My sister looks a lot like Mila Kunis. You are quite welcome to her. Please. Take her to New Jersey, or out of my neighborhood at least.

1: Axl in a skirt (assuming still skinny& evil...) 2: Joan Jett (complicated somewhat by fact that I'd prefer to BE her) 3: Thurston Moore 4: Kim or Kelley Deal (forget which now, and the other didn't do it at ALL) 5: Angel&Spike 6: Faith (obviously Willow is my favourite character too but puh-LEASE: how indie- girlie wide-eye Hello-Kitty T-shirt can you get, sexwise? Even Evil Willow is only abt Goth Cleavage, and I concur with Anthonyeaston on cleavage...) 7: Marc Bolan c.1972 8: Doris Day c.1952 9: John Cage c.1932 10: Kym Marsh

and your sister likes these animal men. OUT OF THE QUESTION.

But she has money, and basically the same face regardless of age. Nelly will be hosting a show on the cbc within a couple of years, and then where would you be. and your sister likes these animal men. OUT OF THE QUESTION.

But that shows she has a lack of taste, so she'd probably really be into you. If she liked Crispian and Johnny Dean, it's likely...

I am so not talking to Fred anymore.

PS: Have realised no-tongue only applies to Angel.

I would've put Katie Fuckin' Holmes on the list if I liked the characters she plays. I would've put Ally's sister on the list if she still looked like Katie Holmes, but now that she looks like Mila Kunis, I don't care.

So, yeah, go away, thanks, we are so thru, how disturbing is this? "Yeah, here's my man, he wants to shag women that look suspiciously like my sister". U. G. H. Where's Richey when I need him?

Alex James... hmmmm... in about 1993/4, in a heartbeat. No questions asked. Oh yes. In fact, Ally, have you read The Deep Field? (mwah hah hah). But now... no, it's just too awful. I mean, it's not bad enough that he got all fat and furry like a giant teddy bear, but he CUT HIS FRINGE OFF!!! I mean... forget it! No fringe, no Alex!

Oh, and I forgot. Bobby Gillespie. He was the man who awoke my teenage sexuality in 1985, and I will never forget it, no matter how skanky he might get, he is still forever lovely and leatherclad and sweeping his fringe out of his face in my mind.

Sorry, Christian Bale is just not attractive. Nope, just can't see it. Next you'll be trying to convince me that Jude Law is anything but an ugly mug. However, Johnny Depp? Yes, indeed. Loveliness, even though I don't fancy actors at all. Well, OK, excepting maybe Ewan McGreggor and Gary Oldman.

Sorry, I could talk about cute boys all night. I often do. Heh.

Actually, now that I've thought it thru, this is the best thing ever. We should totally be hanging out with each other because we'd go to a club, see two guys, and we wouldn't have the issue of the mini-fight over which one goes with whom - we'd like different ones. This would be such a fantastically good thing, a change of pace, you see.

I've seen no recent pictures of Alex James, nor do I want to. In my mind, he looks exactly how he did on the promos for Great Escape still, damnit.

Actually, Blur as a whole aren't bad at all. My former neighbor looked like Graham, he was quite tasty.

and disturbing isn't picking someone who looks like your sister; disturbing is picking someone who looks like my sister. which is why jenny mccarthy couldn't even be considered.

and i took it for granted that we meant characters. who wants to sleep with people with emotions and feelings that go deeper than those expressed in videos and sitcoms? that's why models rule because they represent objectification at its best.

Hmm, based on your current picture I wouldn't say you look like Richey at all...

It's good if you and yer female friends don't agree on taste in men, cause then there's never fights over boys. I used to have a best friend who had the exact same taste in men, and she always pulled the boys I fancied, and it SUCKED!!! Now I'm mates with Jane (bassist for Lollies) there's never any trouble. She always likes the singer and I always like the bassist... with a few rare exceptions. (She thinks Damon is hot. I think he's a twat, and far prefer Alex... oh, and BTW, he was already being airbrushed by the Great Escape. Modern Life era Alex is the loveliest, by far... mmmm...)

I only sleep with men anyhow because I hate men and want to control them and abuse them, so the more emotions they have to fuck with, the better. Though I decided to go celibate today to make Ramon obsess over me.

Wanting to shag your siblings or your SIGNIFICANT OTHER'S SIBLINGS is sick though, really.

2/ Louise Loughman (Irish TV presenter who's kinda gawky looking and has horrible taste in clothes, PVC pants and such, but I still find her gorgeous)

3/ Teri Hatcher (whatever happened to her?)

I do not want to shag your sister, Ally. Like I said, she looks like Mila Kunis, so I don't care.

Oh, and my first pop-star 'crush' - Clare Grogan in Altered Images singing 'Happy Birthday' on TOTP. A ten year olds idea of a REAL girl.

Err... alex James *hasn't had his fringe cut off... has he?

And Lauren Laverne isn't gawky! She's totally hot too, how did I forget her?

2. Jared Leto/Ewan McGregor (the first when he's not on drugs and the second when he is... but fix those teeth Ewan)

3. Stephen Dorff

4. Short-haird Rob Lowe in The West Wing (a bit old for me, but I bet that job pays well)

Yes, Alexander the James has banished the fringe and got fat. It is terribly unfortunate. However, RickyT, who says we'd have to peel him away from Damien Hirst first, anyway? Go back and look who else is on my list!

I don't know why I like blond men so much. It must be the incest thing. Especially blond men with glasses. Glasses make any man about 10 times more attractive. Watched _Stand By Me_ last night and was having hideous impure thoughts about a pre-pubescent Cory Feldman. Save me!

OK, erm, Fat Les were crap, but that was more to do with Keith Allen than either Alex or Damien.

Anyone needing critical evalution of just *why* Damien Hirst is so damned attractive needs to go visit the Cute Boy Radar. Oh, can my hormones take much more? And I take it you won't want the links to the Hirsty porn, then, will you? ;-) I used to host a fan fict site, oh the things some of our more, erm, adventurous writers would write!

2: Thandie Newton. Cue cage match with Fred (which I am DESTINED to win).
3: Kimberly Elise
4: Kelly Rowland, cuz she's the TRUE hottie in DC.
5: Zhang Ziyi (SWOON)
6: Tara Reid, primarily because of Josie.
7: Aaliyah
8: J-Lo, assuming she says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
9. Ashley Judd/Charlize Theron. Oh, you know they're the same person. Stop frontin'.
10. Salma Hayek. Actually, I'd probably go for her before J-Lo, assuming she says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Aw, but he's lovely in Moulin Rouge, which might possibly be the most sappy and over the top movie ever made. Of course, I loved it.

However, I am afraid to see him in the next Star Wars movie though, because he's supposed to have a Ben Kenobi style beard - ugh. Still, bound to be hotter than than balls-free Ryan Phillipe lookalike they have playing Anakin. I think I'd rather shag Jar Jar.

I think Ally mentioned most of the men(?) I fancy in, er, was it some Manics related thread? I can only think to add Chow Yun Fat and Catherine Denueve. Oh, and Taye Diggs.

I am not making sense today, but it makes sense to me. Kind of.

So who do I fancy? Um, my picks are:

Jaye Griffiths from "Bugs". (bugs could actually go in the "nadir of human popular culture" thread, 'cuz it sux0rs horribly, but Ms griffith is RoWR)

Darcy Bussell (brit ballet dancer)

Clare Grogan (esp as IIRC Niamh Brennan in "Father Ted")

We had posters of Mari Wilson, ex "beehive queen of neasden" up on our metro transit system last year. She was in a play abt whassername - er- y'know, brit white soul singer from the 1960's....anway, she's looking pretty fine these days.

"Ros" & "Lillith" from "Frazier"

Audrey Hepburn

Also, Louise Brooks

I think if I was a gal, I'd want to look like louise brooks. Or Patti Smith. Or something

Have I damned myself enough yet? Hey! At least I don't fancy BBBY GLLSP!!! What's with that, masonic? He looks like a weasel!! Actually, thinking about it, I saw PRML SCRM when they were on their grunge bandwagon thang (second album tour) and the iNDie GRRLZ in thee audience all did seem to have THee MaJoR HoTZ for little bobby. When they heard the r0x0r noise thee SCRM came out with, instead of sub- byrds chimey rickenbacker guitar stuff, great was thee wailing & lamenting from indie chix0rs & boiz alike. No doubt in little BBBY'S classic rock pose fixated brain, this was akin to BoB DYLaN @ THee MaNCHeZTeR FRee TRaDe HaLL - "JuDaS!" etc, but I actually quite enjoyed it, cuz the guitars were so loud that U couldnt hear BBBY'Z horrid little k-flat whiny voice! Support was "The Telescopes". Whatever happened to them? They r0x0red too!

x0x0 (be patient, I've had a stressy day)

Sorry. That's my uncontrollable reaction to Harmony Korine.

Don't diss on my Boabie, please, Norman. Humph. You haven't heard the story about how my little catholic schoolgirl preadolescent teenage life was CHANGED by the presence of Bobby G in black leather trousers in the "Just Like Honey" video. Many arguments ensued about the trouser snake... "It's a sock." "It's not a sock!" "It's a sock!"

So when the Primals changed from jangle-pop to RAWK I didn't really mind, cause, well, the JAMC were all about RAWK anyway. I know he looks like a weasel. Actually, he looks sort of more like a ferret, it's all about his big nose and drooping bedroom eyes. Mmmmmm.

Chloe Sevigny has a face like a strangled cat. Please never mention her in the context of "sex" or "fancying" ever again. Thank you.

1/ Shelby Lynne and Sheryl Crow (cos I like Suthun fried chicks, although I dont think Sheryl is from the south)

2/ How come no-one's mentioned Halle Berry? She's hot esp. in Thge Flintstones. Yabba dabba do!!

1) Louise Brooks is gorgeous in a freakily anachronistic way. She looks like she stepped into those silent films from 1995 or something.

2) Bobby Gillespie is about 5'2". Short men are not sexy. And he dsnt lk vwls s h cld b a cmptr prgrmmr. As a cmptr prgrmmr myself I guarantee that we are not sexy as a rule. Note the as a rule part. I myself am damn sexy. Honest.

3) Amos, my flatmate, has an inexplicable thing about C. Sevigny. However, he also thinks that Beck is a genius so his taste his evidently pants.

4) I am pissed.

Anyhow, I think Chloe Sevigny is cute. Let the flaming begin.

I have to beat Richey off with a pillow every night. I'm all, hello, get back into the closet where I keep you, Fred is here, duh. Dumbass Welsh people. And don't get me started on Damon, hell.

I have had 4 margaritas tonight, I reckon everyone is sexy if I've had 4 margaritas. Just enough to make you love everyone, you know? You're all sexy.

I can't wait to go to Boston, just cos I wanna SLEEP in that damn bathtub. It's the best bathroom in the world, those Ritzes. Holy shit. I could've died happy having seen that bathroom. It had a shower SEPARATE from this giant marble tub, and a toilet in a TOTALLY SEPARATE ROOM. I was like, holy fuck, this is all the best thing I ever saw. I totally fancy whoever designed the bathroom.

I was 'into' Audrey Hepburn for about a minute. It passed though. I still like her in Roman Holiday: "I've never been alone with a man with my dress *on* before, with my dress *off* it's mmmmm-MOST unusual!" Pity she cut her hair.

Oh yeah, and Diana Rigg in The Avengers ~ Oh *girl!*

I quite liked Chloe Sevigny for a while as well. Not exactly a heart- breaker facially, but she has *something*. What really turns me of about her is a) Harmony Korine and b) her brother works on Wall Street.

Sarah Polley. She has something of the 'Sevigny' about her. She may be a po-faced, moaning Canadian but... I still would.

This has just reminded me of something I'd forgotten about for the last twenty years. Around 1978 I developed a crush on this young woman who was the drummer in an obscure sub-punk band called Tiger Ashby. This lead to repeated trips to dire venues in the Old Kent Road, and much nonchalant leaning against pillars. I must have seemed like one of their most loyal fans.

Actually, then again, Thom Yorke has been through strange periods of attractiveness and non-attractiveness. The Hulk Hogan doo was definitely a no-no. But short blond hair looked good on him. The ginger phase was actually the best on him. Uuuuhhhhh... In fact, almost all Bends-era Thom was pretty hot. There's a picture of him on the Cute Boy Radar with ginger hair and red latex clothes which nearly made me blow a gasket the first time I saw it. You know how I feel about PVC.

But then he started hanging out with Michael Stipe, and got not just hit with the ugly stick but run over by the ugly truck. And now Colin is clearly the most attractive member of Radiohead.

And Bobby G is *NOT* short! He is the same height as me, he was right eye-level with me, and considering how much he slouches (uuuhhhh...) that probably makes him between 5'10" and 6'.

Bobby G? One word: lifts. His shoes had more than feet in, Kate.

I [heart] male vanity. It is far more twisty and fucked than gurly equiv., because it HAS NO MAPS. Elle et al = unexpected force for good in the world after all...

That is all.

2) THOM YORKE IN RED PVC IS SEX ON PLASTIC AND YOU'RE ALL ON CRACK IF YOU CAN'T APPRECIATE IT!!! Of course he looks like an alien, that's the *point*. Much like Bowie, the man looks like a lizard even when he's wearing cargo pants and a band t-shirt, so he looks *normal* in red lizard skin PVC.

3) RickyT, why are you worrying? I mean, you've *seen* some of the outfits that Paul has shown up to SF wearing, haven't you? There was the especially embarrassing incident when we went out for a laff dressed as Ziggy and Iggy, agreed to meet Matt for a drink at the pub, stumbled in blitzed out of our minds, and found the entire collective staff of not just SF, but Track & Field and Tigermilking as well, staring at us like we'd just stumbled in from Mars.

On male vanity and male beauty- I think male beauty is more *interesting* because it "has no maps". The fact that a woman can look at a lizard like Thom Y or a ferret like Bobby G and still see beauty must fill men with more confidence. The women that are considered attractive, even such a diverse group as those listed here, are still far more conforming to a certain physical standard. I'm not saying this is the fault of the men here- it's the fault of homogenising influences like the Elle magazine mindset.

Gah, I actually spent a lot of time yesterday reading girly magazines at the Doctors'. They're fucking WORSE than I remember them! Especially crap like Company. Stipping your self confidence, even as they claim to be building it with self help articles. I was so happy when someone located me a National Geographic.

Now I'm off to read some pornographic Thommy Yorke fan fiction. Uuuuuhhhhh... ::drools uncontrollably::

I think that in the 'real world' female beauty is much more mapless than you might imagine.

Wait, I'm married. I don't have to keep saying that. Plus I have hair now. Damn, I'm behind the times.

End of argument.

(I have a friend who keeps a whole website of boys who desperately want to adore me. Apparently, they pester *her* when they can't get hold of me...)

Terence Stamp is/was ace. Even now he's exceptionally good looking for a man his age. Especially compared with other allegedly sexy grandpa types like Sean Connery.

I'd like Jude Law if he wasn't so intent on making movies that'll garner him "cred".

My sister lurves Jude, her quote on him is: "He's like Damon when he was cute, only cutier!". Yes, she said cutier, not cuter. That's why I don't particularly care for his looks, that Damon resemblance.

Guy Pearce is beautiful, but not with the bleached hair in Memento.

How could I forget Guy? I have pash for him in Memento, but also when he was Mike from Neighbours. Damn the CBC for not having Neighbours on anymore, where am I supposed to drool at young Australian hunks? I envy envy envy Tim.

Thom Yorke, Bobby G, Ewan McGreggor: WELL CUTE!!!

Jude Law, Jarvis Cocker, etc: UGLY AS DOGS!!!

Thank you. That is all.

You have A pash for/on him/her.

Sorry, sir. I shall go to the corner now and hang my head in shame. I should be forced to lick Thom Yorke for my crimes.

(which has just produced a storm of protest from Paul about what a twat he actually is in real life. Humph! Oxford snobs!)

For a second, I prefer non-mainstream beauty, what's wrong with that? Would you be more or less offended if I spouted forth a list that started with Tom Cruise and ended with Fabio?

In terms of sheer physical attractiveness, I find people who are *interesting* or unique looking far more beautiful than those who are conventionally pretty. It is the imperfections that raise a person from the status of merely pretty to incredibly beautiful. That's not even counting the non-physical things that I find sexy- energy, intellect, style, neurosis, etc.

So don't go questioning my sanity, now, please. I mean, what is *wrong* with fancying underage space aliens in red PVC and trainers? I mean, really? Humph! ;-)

He did sort of have a point.

Should I ever trust Paul, I mean, he though Jarvis was "grrrrreat!!!" and the photos of them show Jarvis looking the most terrified "deer in the headlights" I've ever seen a pop star look in a stalker-fan photo!

The only good story I've heard was something very funny about just how short Thom is. My mate Jane was backstage at one of their shows- could have been the Scott Walker Meltdown- and she saw Colin come out and stand next to Ed, and she was amused cause Colin was was a good head and shoulders shorter than Ed. Then Thom came out and stood next to Colin, and she cracked up, because Thom was as shorter again compaired to Colin as Colin had been to Ed. Erm, that was not gramatically correct. But still very funny.

The Thom-on-a-bus story. This is summer of 1994. I had just been to a crusty kind of techno club at Heaven and was getting the Oxford Tube because - whilst I did not live in Oxford at the time - it was cheaper than getting a cab back to zone seven Borehamwood before the transport kicked back in. We get on at Victoria and have the bus to ourselves (it is 3 in the morning on a Wednesday night).

Unfortunately this did not continue to be the case as some rowdy blokes got on at Marble Arch. They were the highly rock and roll bus getting combo of Radiohead. As any bunch of pissed up mates would do they immediately colonized the back seat - except for their mutant wonky eyed mate who sat on his own in the middle of the bus. The Greenwood's and the ones with lumpy heads continued to talk about the kind of thing people talk about on buses (kids TV, whether Salma Hayek is a hottie) whilst Yorke continued to mope and try to sleep. They got off at Headington, not beofre Johnny Greenwood gacve Thom a big slaphead style wake up call to the forehead.

Turns out that they had been playing at the LA2 for a "bit bored" gig whilst recording The Bends. It was that night they recorded My Iron Lung live - which was subsequently cleaned up but released from that session. Thom Yorke is a very ugly man with a wonky eye and you should stop fancying him.

Me. Julie Christie in her prime. I have a celeb stalking friend (last flat lived above Eddie Grant) who now lives next door to Ms Christie. She is still a sublimely beautiful creature.

And oddly Natasha Lyonne really turns me on too.

I still fancy Mark Wahlberg. Oh dear. And Cain Dingle off Emmerdale. And Dermot O'Leary.

What I really want to know is, what the heck were they doing on the Oxford Tube anyway? I mean, Creep was a huge international success, shouldn't they have been whisked back to Oxford in limosines or something?

And Claire Short did steal my Taxi. But I don't fancy her.

City Link is cheaper - fiver return after 4pm - and does not stop at mysterious turn-off of Lewknor where Paxman once got on (according perhaps to you Pete, so who knows). Its drivers are also marginally less mad. It doesn't have the 'in-coach' TV which is all adverts telling you to go and have a holiday in Laos. Hello? If you could afford a holiday in Laos you could afford to travel to-and-from oxford by car. (Unless you're Radiohead so if Thom and the lads head for Laos you know why).

Ox Tube however - all-night in Oxford Tube language does actually mean all night. Red buses look less grotty. Two floors of coach action. And you can easily get it outside Victoria. Also it stops outside Magnus' house which is probably not a consideration for Radiohead.

OxTube - more frequent and stops at Holland Park Roundabout. But run by B. Souter who is also responsible for making my life a misery via SWT cock ups three years ago and is a homophobic arsehole who uses company profits to fund keep Section 28 in London.

Actually, I believe that it's a Fiat that Thom Yorke drives (drove?). Don't ask me why I know this, I have a ridiculous memory for the most absurd facts- I can't remember my own phone number (I mean, why would I? I never dial my own mobile!) but I can remember this tiny tidbit of information from an interview I read 4 years ago. Had alcohol really damaged my brain that badly?

But I guess, yeah, public transportation goes along with their whole liberal-leaning, environmentally friendly thing, doesn't it?

Oh, and from that other board... what think you of the sex appeal of Brett Anderson? I always fancied him in a sort of "God, I hate him so much, I want to beat him, tie him up and shag him senseless" sort of way. I could understand this feeling back in his flouncing, belly- button displaying, foppish-haired days, but honestly, now he's a scary drug casualty with bad hair who "looks like a villain off Scooby Doo" according to Nicole, why do I still feel this way?

How long do you think I can keep this thread going? ;-)

So you think that Brett is going to become the "Walking Picture Of Dorian Grey" anti-drugs poster child that Keith Richards was in the 70s? I mean, Keef is nearly 60 now, he's supposed to look that naff. But considering he's been looking that naff since 1975, it is worrying.

From all accounts, Bernard is a very easily perturbed young man. The email very well could have read "Hi Bernard! How are you?" and I'm guessing he would found it weird.

Or print some of his (esp. more recent lyrics) Kids!!! Do evil drugs and you will think like this!!!

Brett A always struck me as the type who is fiercely hettie, but who would come the "I'm so sexually confused" line in order to cop off, which is pretty creepy, really, though I'm told it does work.

in a similar vein, Brian Molko was always pushed by the music press as being hot. I could never understand why. Any input?

x0x0

Brian Molko is exactly the sort of bloke who appeals to male heterosexuals as what they think they should fancy in order to appear non-homophobic.

I can't make up my mind if he's a hideous balding twat, or a simmering sex dwarf. He looks a lot like an underage ex-boyfriend of mine, that's probably the appeal. Actually, he *looks* really attractive until he opens his mouth and starts that GODAWFUL trans- atlantic drawl, and that ruins everything for me.

As for Bernard, Nicole has it on the money. He is the most easily disturbed famous person ever, possibly. He's like psycho. Greenwood probably made the mistake of forwarding him some joke email or something about dogs versus cats and he just went off the rocker.

Exactly! I love girly-men, but Brian is not girly. He's just bizarre. And anyone who would get that upset over Daphne and Celeste insulting him needs to have some sense slapped into him.

x0x0

Re. Brett.....no, actually, I'd better not.

I'm starting to like katestclaire so much, just for saying 'euch' to Jude Law and Christian Bale in one breath. You don't know how much that means to me.

Charlotte C, Nick? Good choice.

Speculation: He dyed it blonde to cover up the fact he's going bald, because bald patches are less noticable with blonde hair.

"He was cute in 92, in 2001 ewww"

http://www.nme.com/NME/External/News/News_Story/0,1004,34145,00. html

I'm sorry DG, but that is not a man.

Were those man-boobs? They looked like normal-body-boobs to me, ie none

Have to disagree slightly. He did go through a bloated, grotesque phase, but this new look isn't too bad (admittedly it's a fuzzy photo and he's wearing dark glasses). If anything he's lost weight. I'm not defending the t-shirt though just his hair and face.

Oh, Christ, I need to go to bed. And I'm off topic - hmm. Well, those pics of Nicole Kidman in _Moulin Rouge_ are quite purty. I liked Ashley Judd a lot more before she started acting in shitty films. Maura Tierney (ah, _Newsradio_). Christa Miller (_The Drew Carey Show_, circa the first 2 seasons). I used to have a crush on Shelley Long when I was a wee lad (just as _Cheers_ hit syndication) - I go gaga over plain, attractive women with big mouths and bigger vocabularies, I'm afraid / happy to say. Sylvia Plath looked quite fetching to me, once upon a time (though that had as much to do with her poetry as her visage). (And that means the intelligence IN her poems, not the subject matters. Lest you think I'm a reformed Goth boy.) No musicians come to mind. Still haven't been able to find a man I'd remotely consider shagging - the concept doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.

Actually, I'm surprised we (men) appeals to women. We're too hairy, we have that THING between our legs (nestled in more damn hair), and out tits suck. And most guys have the fashion sense of a mannequin. I'd much rather cuddle with a purty gal, were I a gal. Ahem.

I think I've said enough here.

Her outfits and persona in Crouching Tiger and The Road Home were a little sketchy, but Rush Hour 2 proves that Zhang Ziyi is unquestionably the most attractive woman in the world today, possibly ever.

Jermey Piven:
Chunky and hairy and funny

Peter Krause

because snarkiness is sexy

Edward Norton
: raw rage hiding under a choir boy facade.

Thom Gunn
Because he knows how to weild words like whips
John Waters:
Funny and not ha ha funny. The last five minutes of Cecil was so sexy

<

Katie fuckin' Holmes is so last year, I don't care about her anymore. There are two women in the world, Zhang Ziyi and Lucia.

Who the hell is Lucia?

Did you see St. Elmo's Fire? Give Ramon a giant hoop earring and some lipstick and he'll look exactly like Rob Lowe.

Zhang Ziyi continues to become hotter and hotter. She is a beautiful evil woman.

And you talk about this homeless girl camp thing like I know what the fuck you're on about.

Of course Rob Lowe's face looks nothing like Ramon's, what do you think I am blind. Why has everyone seen St. Elmo's Fire? It kinda sucks. Ramon's never seen it.

Anyhow, that's the place this girl stays? She's weird, avoid her. I was calling her the Blair Witch that night, she scares the hell out of me, she probably acts like Angelina Jolie.

I'm just saying Ramon's channeling Lowe's style, is all. It's kind of a Rob Lowe in St. Elmo's Fire meets Johnny Depp in Benny & Joon thing.

I haven't washed since.

Actually, judging by his TV show, I don't think he has either.

1) Stephane Rideau. 2) Johnny Knoxville. 3) Kool Keith. 4) Tony Leung. 5) Q Tip. 6) Scott Caan. 7) Dermot Mulroney (saw him in a sauna once, gee it's great living in Hollywood). 8) Spike from Buffy 9) Robbie-can't help it... 10) Jay Hernandez. 11) Vince Vaughn-I don't care if he's a big asshole drunk. 12) Clive Owen 13) Seann William Scott.

Hmmm, maybe I should pick someone a bit more mature. Oh, OK, Wayne Coyne, what a babe. Horst Buchholz? He was so adorable in Tiger Bay.

If I had to pick a girl, I'd go with Julie Christie, Judy Geeson, Charlotte Rampling or Maria Schneider. Or Sarah Polley.

Enough.

Why do people like Michelle Branch? She's not good-looking. I mean, I like her cuz she's clearly 12 years old, but that's me.

Julie Christie is the most disagreeable looking woman I've ever seen. I actually had to fast-forward through her scenes in McCabe & Mrs. Miller because I can't look at her. She's worse than Penelope Cruz.

I quite fancy that Derek Jeter. I'm going to marry him.

I've never known anyone to find Julie Christie quarrelsome and unpleasant. Hmmm. Haven't seen McCabe & Mrs. Miller in years, but she's really kind and supportive in Billy Liar. Couldn't agree with you more about Penelope Cruz, though.

Honestly, I didn't even know she was still alive or at least still appearing in films.

I don't get it, am I meant to grin aimlessly all the time?

she's from Huddersfield (there's a joke in there somewhere, can you see it?) Doncaster accent = very nasty indeed

Huddersfield, right. I must move there.

My memory may damaged (it nearly certainly is), but wasn't Kylie initially the tomboy who wore a baseball cap and coveralls? I thought it was her friend Jane who was the nerd with the makeover, thus bagging her the Divine Mike.

I have a worrying crush on anime girls. Not so much on boys, they all tend to be a bit too YOUNG oops. I can go for All American types too like KERR SMITH but bear in mind he plays a gay character so still not sexually threatening eh readers?

you're all crazy

I can't sleep, damned jetlag

I used to fancy Madonna, Xena, Buffy, Willow, Faith, Angel, Dawn, Cordelia, Faith, Dawn, Faith. In that order.

Now Buffy and Angel aren't on telly anymore I don't fancy anyone.

I fancy myself.

mmm granular

Now that Webber/Rice musical I would see.

that's what I said about the Mormon too.

Latest additions: Scarlett Johansson and Blu Cantrell.

What are you trying to do by the way, set up a pop culture version of Cluedo....

And when you do, try and make sure you're not going out with someone else at the time. Go on, break the habits of a lifetime.

1 new question: what is wrong with being called 'Blu'? It is better than 'Sinker' - I mean how depressing!

1 old question: what does 'Take me!' mean?

I have a nomination for this thread. I have to check her name first, though.

http://news6.thdo.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/events/newstalk/correspondent_b iographies/newsid_94000/94293.stm

But I am still looking for the other one.

I read this over three times and it still saif 'fingering oneself'.

Well yeah, I kind of admit I know what it means, but I wasn't sure whether it had to specifically refer to the penetration of a submissive female by a man (or gayist equivalent). I thought it might sometimes be like "Take me as your wife/girlfriend":

and anyway you are wrong anyway: BLU!!

after watching a Boy Meets World marathon yesterday I am now very much smitten with Ben Savage--besides him, Bud Cort circa 1971.

isn't saying someone will succumb to you a silly thing to say? i stole it from a 5ive song.

there are about three or four boys who go on my bus (the normanby one, not the high school one, you filthy cretins!) that are quite okay. kinda girlish looking, dark hair, dress in black. none of them are called dave though, and none are guilty of the casual-burp-vomit that menelaus so lovingly described many moons ago.

hey maryann, did you know i thought janus was a bit of a looker? oh, you probly did. oh well. come! attack us with your ironic dworkinism!

Me too.

>>> I often fancy people as they walk by on the street.

Me too.

Hey, Ronan. We have Thingz In Common.

1.) Brian Molko 2.) Laetitia Casta 3.) Holcombe Waller (http://www.holcombewaller.com) 4.) Sid Vicious 5.) Charlize Theron 6.) Johnny Depp 7.) Christopher Walken 8.) This boy from some Gap commercial. He looks kind of geeky and out of place compared to all of the rest of the people in the ad. 9.) Katie Holmes 10.) Brian McFayden (MTV V-J)

... plus plenty of others. But that's enough, right? *

2) i fancy my boyfwiend awwwwwww c'm ere you!!!!

As for Neil Young, suffocation is a crime.... no, dont look at me like that, I am joking. As for Janus, your friendly fairy godmother/tinkerbell has a special suprise for you. Photos of Janus and friends in fetish party mode. all those sweet young scandanavians, just wait til you see the one I am going to put on a card for Steve.

Who do I fancy? not even worth thinking about, as the chances are they don't fancy me. Besides, I would probably loose all respect for them if they did, bad taste and all :)

My hair looks exactly like hers now but by horrific accident not by design and I have been very sad about it all week. Short bangs like hers (and mine, sob) are icky.

JOHN SMOLTZ! JOHN SMOLTZ!

It is sick and wrong.

See, Nic, this is why I'm trying to fancy him. Plus, the dance moves in "Is There Something I Should Know".

There's a birthday wish for ya -- finding your shit.

Tracer and Raposa, SOME chicks dig the

felicity = will never master the quirks of ILE

And Roger Taylor. I always go for the dull one in the band. That's Roger Taylor *not* Roger Meadows-Taylor.

Clare Wadd of SARAH REKKIDS fame

That new girl in Trembling Blue Stars. Beth Arzy.

You can scoff!

i couldn't possible fancy someone called Orlando, i'm sorry. i have tried! but i would be scared that he'd end up turning into a woman...

This would be a sight to see. I'm not too sure if my mom would want to get into the squabble, though. ;-) But since my mom has Viggo as a backup, I guess Sarah can have her wicked way with Mr. Bloom (who right now is living the life of Riley here in the States -- LOTR no longer number one, being replaced this weekend by Black Hawk Down featuring...Orlando Bloom! call out the casting agents!).

Last night I found out that a person I fancy (none of the above...no, no, a person I actually know) fancies me. Joy!

when boys like me they always want to teach me how to play guitar properly. why? i like playing guitar badly. and i wonder why boys don't consider that saying that might sound patronising... i know they just want to feel useful but this is the third time its happened and mwah?!?!?

Well now, fancy as in cute celebs i might pick Giles from Buffy, Corin Tucker, Tortoise's John Mcentire, or the young Ally Sheedy [circa Wargames more than Breakfast Club].

Fancy in a "OMG you're such a GIIIIRL!" gush sense, i haf me a lovely boy who's somewhere in monsoon-season China. So, him.

Fancy in a "oh they're just so sweet i want to keep them in the towel cupboard and feed them peanut butter cookies and gaze at them like delicate crystal ornaments" sense, this week's lucky candidates are Rainy and Starry.

Fancy in a "When You're Near Me I Have Difficulty Concentrating bestest friend ever want to live in a giant cardboard box with them for all eternity with 'the hot rock' and 'bend sinister' and endless chips+dip" way...Di, Elisabeth and Andrew-chu i choose YOU!

Fancy in a "I love him and when i grow up i'm gonna MARRY him" way has to be my 1 tru luv Ralph Wiggam.

erm, i'm beginning to think i shoulda posted this to the Creepiness thread...

ENOUGH of this! let's talk abt who floats yr boats. go!

By the way, that post about seeing your own special lady as a celebrity is adorable and I approve of non-celebrity posts.

Glad to see SARAH POLLEY getting the LOVE on this thread...

I still <3 Smoltzie too.

I still think Prince William has a hard on for me.

I like Robert Downey Jr.

Amazing how one can tell this at a board you never saw before... Thank you.

Liz Copeland, late night D-town radio host with an extremely sexy voice.

This French girl from my undergrad African History class, I eyed her for the whole semester before raising the nerve to speak to her, we talked about getting together the next semester after summer, next semester I kept seeing this cute brunette on campus smiling at me but didn't ring a bell until several months in when I realized OMG, that's Delphine from last year, but alas it was too late. She then proceeded to haunt me by living a block away for the next two years and I was too embarassed to ever say hello. In fact I thought she had moved back to France after graduation, but I was in a local coffee shop meeting one of my LSAT students and looked up to see none other than Delphine at the counter whereupon I promptly spilled my drink all over the place as she observed. Classic.

I was sooo wrong about that chiquita. The girl in I Am the World Trade Center is pretty cute. I like how she bounces around during shows.

what is this, like a rule, that in a haircut band, the singer has to be the one with the fattest ass?

i'm starting to see weird and bizarre correlaries here, and they are starting to scare me.

COME ON, SUZY, DRINK YOUR COUGH SYRUP, IT IS TIME FOR OUR WALKIES!!!!

(token girl) Bic Runga

Anyway, as I believe we're sticking with celebrities and/or their characters (if we were including actual face-to-face crushes, I might be here all day)...

1. Shannon Elizabeth, especially as Nadia in American Pie 2 when she said "Fuck me nerd!" Plus, she's part-Lebanese, how can you go wrong there! (see also: Salma Hayek, Shakira)

2. Ani DiFranco, even if I wasn't in love with her music. There's something far too magnetic and wonderful about her, she's troublingly amazing.

3. Jude Law is something to behold, whether as a human or robot. Whaddya know, Joe?

4. Charo...can a human being be any more silly and sexy at the same time?

5. Bender from Futurama...oh, to be a ladybot in the year 3000...

Kiki + Jimmy Fallon = dreamiest stupid awards-show hosts EVAH

And my girlfriend-it's all about redheads.

Wookin panub in all da wong paces indeed.

*I COULD do a top ten of people on ILx I fancy, but I will resist the temptation*

Celebrities I fancy, therefore: Penny Smith (waking up to GMTV at 6 am every morning proved that the lithium wasn't producing that particular side-effect, ahem), Liza Tarbuck (especially after Have I Got News For You - the deep voice, the knowing yet embracing camera look and the actorly pauses before the punchlines; I suppose Wes Butters or similar "most maddest" person will get the permanent presenting job), Charlotte Rampling, Juliet Stevenson, Isabelle Huppert, Catherine Deneuve, Kristin Scott Thomas, Melanie Blatt, Sam Taylor-Wood, Professor Susan Greenfield and Bonnie Greer.

Caroline Hug is an improv viola player with the London Improvisers Orchestra and other ensembles, so is strictly speaking not a "celebrity," but she is gorgeous.

Seriously, Liza T *was* quite hot on HIGNFY, but.....

I have met two of the people on your list. But which two?

ok, let's go for the prof. and bonnie g?

Eww, fancying Prof Susan G. She wears hideous little skirts in an endeavour to remind people that lady scientists can be 'sexy' too.

needless to say, Elizabeth is not in my ILx "fancied" top ten as her spurious ridicule is cold comfort.

Let's be having it then.

It also would be unfair to the posters in question, most or all of whom have perfectly good partners, and all of whom I'm sure do not wish their Christmas ruined by the thought that they are liked by a grotesque Scottish hunchback with short fat hairy legs and a forked tongue.

Sarah Silverman's hilarious dirrrrrrrrrrrrrr(not enough "R"s)ty self.

And, if I was married, of course my wife. Of course.

Why does everyone want online crushes?

my secret shame!

At least that's an interesting reaction on the part of your crushees...
;^}
In my case, all of a sudden they find the love of their lives, and wander off happily into into a Technicolor sunset, leaving me to die of loneliness.

no-one practices anything on me.

Or maybe it's because of changing majors+booze+declining GPA+that girl who worked at the coffee shop who if she ever googles this is going to know exactly what I'm talking about. Damn.

Do you have a picture around here? Perhaps I'll follow Nabisco's advice and fancy you. It couldn't hurt to try. Besides, if my past history holds true, next thing you know you'll meet Ms. Right!

I mention it just cos it was so surprising to find an echo of my own view, in a BOOK.

* Claire Grogan

* Sandie Shaw circa 1966.

aw.

it's the freckles

*Katy Manning (Dr. Who's Jo Grant)

*Monica Bellucci - Italian, stern, smouldering...

*The Gillian Gilbert lookalike who used to work in King's College library

*If the (middle-class) ladeez can lust after Mr. Darcy, can I have Jennifer Ehle? Please?

*Did I mention the The French girl who works in the Chocolatier?

Ah yes, this reminds me that two days from now my mom gets to see her boyfriend again. As I've taken to calling Mr. Bloom as Legolas.

* Blue Peter's Connie Huq

* Jenny out of Atomic Kitten

* The French girl out of the Chocolatier

http://members.rott.chello.nl/e.visser25/HarlequinBoy2.jpg

Rich Gannon
Tony Dungy
Herman Edwards
Adam Vinateri

And Ella Raines, and whoever is the girl from Buster Keaton's "Steamboat Bill Jr."

http://www.wshs.fcps.k12.va.us/academic/english/1project/99gg/99gg6/buster.jpg

Him, too.

http://www.atease.tv/gigography/2002/2002080717.jpg

Note : current Blue Peter annual (only 99p in the sales, so I'm told) features La Liz in riding boots on the cover. I said RIDING BOOTS!

Also off the telly - Helen Willets off the weather is pretty horny at the moment.

I have a major crush on YOU. (winkeye emoticon goes here)

http://moviedolls.com/misc/ella_raines.jpg

I probably should fancy some people who are alive, hmmmm.

1) Joe Strummer in Mystery Train
2) Jon Stewart maybe about four years ago
3) Pink in the "Family Portrait" video
4) Eve, any time at all
5) Kirsten Dunst in The Virgin Suicides
6) Tom Verlaine in 1977
7) Kaga from Iron Chef
8) John Doe in 1979
9) Susannah Hoffs in the "Walk Like an Egyptian" video
10) Jennifer Jason Leigh in Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle

an ILX poster.

As for me, officially I'm over my crush on the Dismemberment Plan bassist (he never responded to my advances), but I would have told you otherwise Saturday night.

But in this picture, rowr:

http://www.quicksilvershapeshifter.com/edsexy.jpg

?????????? MAYBE if Michael weighed more than six pounds!

http://www.hostultra.com/~kszonew/ewo/season3/3022/5.jpg

http://www.hollywoodpinup.com/hunks/image/05vincent.jpg

maybe we talk abt it over a cup of cynanide.

Yes. Chen Kenichi can cook my dinner anytime!

http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/01.14.99/gifs/difranco-9902.jpg

the silent film thread

Sakai has to be the truly lover-man of them all. But in the end, there is no denying the power:

http://www.ironchef.com/img/kaga4.jpg

The only celebrity I think I would actually want to be.

"I'm currently making a random announcement very loudly while the chef is trying to concentrate and now he's slicing off my ear and threatening me loudly. Ow!"

(But I kid Ohta.)

1. Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday
2. Winona Ryder, c. 1994 and 2002
3. Clea DuVall
4. Kathleen Hanna, present-day
5. Justine Frischmann
6. Rachael Leigh Cook, more so in She's All That than Josie
7. Barbara Stanwyck, c. 1941, in The Lady Eve
8. Thora Birch in Ghost World (not anywhere else)
9. Carrie Brownstein
10. Ronnie Spector, c. 1963

Anyone who fancies a sprite is fucked up.

Colleen Kruse, local standup/actress/columnist for the Rake (non Voice-owned libertarianish free rag), for which this is the current cover.

http://www.papermag.com/stylin/fashion/shows/03spring/new_york/backstage/marc_jacobs/images/maya_rudolph.jpg

Mmmhmm.

http://e3.eonline.com/Facts/People/Photos/fs.birch.thora.jpg

...the other ghostworlder.

:D

Ally, don't worry, you don't really look like, uh, "her", but you're still a total bombshell hottie, no argument there.

Tina, married, eh? "Comin' to break you off..."

Better news: She cheats! (the preceeding may not actually be true)

(Also Neko Case signed my cd "love neko" so I'm pretty sure she has a crush on me.)

Anyway,
I'm a guy - and I'll admit it, we have low low low
standards for who we'd kick out of bed. But here's
a few that have leaped out recently:

1) Jennifer Lopez - she has a face and body that
just won't quit, no matter what loopy
outfit she wears next. And she's doesn't look like
a fricking AIDS patient - she has actual flesh,
not skin-covered bone

2) Justine Waddell - featured in "Wives And Daughters"
and some other b-rate period dramas. It's not that
she's physically perfect (though she is beautiful);
it's just she exudes this, not innocence, but
this freshness and curiosity that I find
irresistable. Plus she has a scottish accent -
and a beautiful woman with a scottish accent
seems so incongrous and funny to me, it's just
great.

3) Milla Jovovich - Another model/actress that has
grown in beauty over the years. Unfortunately, I
always thought she looked better with long hair,
but she's been sporting it short (sometimes very)
for most of her film carreer. Ah well. She gets
extra points for being a decent musician. She
also seems gracious and articulate in interviews.
Which is no surprise - she grew up modeling, which
means she probably wasn't subjected to the travesty
of American public schooling. Looks, smarts,
talent - now if she only gets high like her character
in Dazed and Confused and we're a perfect match.

4) Penelope Cruz - Gah! I was alerted to her glowing
beauty in that recent Coke commercial - so this is what
everyone's been talking about. I've never actually
bothered to watch a movie with her in it, and still
photos definitely don't do her justice.

5) LeeLee Sobieski - Negative points for seeming kind
of dim on-screen; but screw it, I'm ready for
that jelly. Insert what I said about J.Lo, she's a
real woman with real curves and I'm real able.

6) Kylie Minogue - OK, so I'm sure that over the years
she's been nipped, tucked, snipped and more processed than
a loaf of Velveeta cheese. And I kind of hate myself
for being attracted to such a Barbie doll - but who
cares! I'd still keep her company anytime.

7) Demi Moore circa Striptease - Jeez, do I have a thing
for older women? An attractive, if not stunning woman
spent a lot of time working out and decided to show it off
to the world, though even the unrated version only had a
few fleeting glimpses. Overall, you see more of Burt
Reynold's chest then Demi's. Still, she was pretty darn
fit for a mother with a houseful of children.

8) Early Jane Seymour - Specifically, her galloping around
in an bikini through "Sinbad And The Eye of the Tiger"

9) Fairuza Balk - she has a strange face; it shouldn't,
by any stretch, be attractive, but it is, and something
about it sticks in your headlike a no.1 single.

10) Schuyler Fisk in "Orange County" - Awkward name,
definitely un-awkward girl. Long red hair, light freckles
and a winning smile.

Runners up: Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, and Marisa
Tomei, all of whom passed their peak a few years ago
but still look damn good. Speaking of
staying power, how about Andie MacDowell and
Michelle Pfeiffer? I can't
believe they're pushing 45, and still look great,
as opposed to Madonna, who has been piling on the
makeup in a failed attempt to keep the sag at bay.

Anyway I'll side w/ killian and Watts.

Alyson Hannigan
Helen Hunt/Leelee Sobieski
Meg White
Sarah Polley
Brett Anderson (The singer from the Donnas)
Nelly Alard (working from memory here)
Lisa Kudrow
Sarah Silverman
Laura Prepon

Undersung: Corin Tucker, Ileanna Douglas
Guilty Pleasures: Daisy Fuentes, Anna Kournikova