Will Smith: Dude or Dud?

Will Smith - v.good. "Will 2K" still remarkably fine (best irretrievably dated song?).

Rudeness of "dude" - probably not. HOWEVER was anyone else here told at school that certain minorly rude and slangy words were in fact much ruder than they were, really awesomely rude, the H-Bombs of the rude word world. Example: at 6 or 7 I learned "cunt" and was soundly punished for trying it out. In Primary School playground soon after I was told that "cunt" was small fry and that "frig" was Where It Was At rudeness-wise. Foolishly I believed and kept what I thought was an awesome swearing power-up in reserve until during some taunting fight I was riled enough to let loose with "Frig You!". Cue shaming laughter.

Now he just pisses me off. Probably my own fault for seeing Hitch but there you go. Sorry Will.

Smith also visited the capital Delhi and the Taj Mahal and said he "connected" with Shahjahan - the Moghul Emperor who built the monument for his queen, Mumtaz Mahal.

He said: "In my home in Los Angeles, I've built a lake and called it 'Her Lake' as a token of my love for my wife.

"I totally understand that feeling of building a monument to show your love for your woman.

"When I was walking through the Taj Mahal, I kept saying, I am that man."

I had no idea Will Smith was a violent Islamic polygamist and opium addict who designed massive monuments following the obscure designs of Sufi mystics.

he's a scientologist now

http://www.showbizspy.com/2008/01/09/will-smith-has-become-a-scientology-recruiter/

thanks, we know

as if there weren't already enough reasons to hate him

gabbneb

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=cruise+smith&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

"-- gabbneb"

so much love

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/78/180362721_495da22a47.jpg

http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/C1458875919/E1604927117/Media/danzig-1.jpg

he's always been a salesman, so Scientology is perfect.

GAY?

fo sho

He's been on my shitlist ever since his wife was somehow allowed to make a fool out of herself at ozzfest. This just makes it permanent.

lol @ ILE hating friendly black ppl

i like the dude fine, i just wish he'd stop making movies in which America gets all blowed up

we love you dan! just not aggressively friendly infotainment-camera whores.

I like Will Smith.

is that a gabnebb by the bbq?

Will Smith doesn't strike me as friendly at all

I think by "ILE" I meant "Shakey"

(xpost!)

I did not appreciate his fucking up my neighborhood with his stupid Happyness movie

is that a gabnebb by the bbq?

gabbneb is the dude in the background who is happy to see you with expensive sunglasses in his pocket

lol thighboner

it's spelled "thibodeaux"

umm arf arf

who's the large dude in that pic? Wasn't he in an episode of Seinfeld, where Kramer has to fake illness for acting school?

he didn't annoy me in I AM TEH LEGEND, so maybe he is a good actor after all.

The viral marketing for his new movie starts here:

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/9281/odeonxu2.jpg

theres a hancock thread, i think. i am anticipating i think

http://www.whudat.com/news/images/will-smith-charlize-theron-3.jpg
Dude...ish but he's started acting like G.O.B in Arrested Development when he kept saying 'COME ON' about his suit. Big Will is a bit too loud these days. I think he has ADD.

Will Smith as Hancock so cue stock gag about does he do the blood donor routine &c.

I like the idea of Will Smith playing Superman as Bad Santa, but the more I see and hear about it the less likely I am to actually check it out.

the sfx on the Hancock trailer look appalling.

I like will smith tho, even if he does just play the same character in most of his films. IRobot was better than i thought it would be, I enjoyed this at the weekend.

"Hancock" was pretty good!

dud

will never, ever see hancock

i liked the first half of hancock when it was a bad santa type comedy... when it got all serious and overwritten... not so much

the reviews are so wtf i might have to see this.

Shakycam. MUST. DIE.

God bless Armond.

The Pursuit of Crappyness

No longer a mere lawn jockey—-a figure symbolizing the Hollywood plantation—-Smith can now claim cultural authority even over the equally slick George Clooney....

Despite Smith and Obama’s casual, presidential demeanor, the ease with which they carry their opportunity and success reflects a willed triumph over adversity—-a whispered pact to leave the audience’s enthusiasm undisturbed. This electability is not so different from box-office charisma. They are stars who charm rather than challenge; and their public image is interchangeable....

That Will Smith could settle for such dreck-as-entertainment proves he is no better than a Hollywood hack—an empowered black man who behaves no differently than an unprincipled white despot. And here is where Hancock’s resemblance to the Obama campaign becomes more than a warning. It’s a failed opportunity—-what Adam Clayton Powell, Sidney Poitier, Fannie Lou Hamer and Harry Belafonte would understandably call a “heartbreak."

Harry Belafonte

credibility exits stage left

No longer a mere lawn jockey

i'm sure Armond believes he's having a serious impact on the culture from the pages of the NY Press, lol

at least equal to yours.

wtf do you know about Belafonte and the civil rights movement, esp as compared to Smith's Wall St Journal-style "social consciousness," bnw?

lol, missing the point twice

This review was the equivalent of popcorn – tasty and forgettable. I mean, why the fuck would White expect Will Smith to take chances? He wants to be a mass market entertainer. And the use of "slick" is a pejorative is rich coming from White, who wrote a lot of fine music reviews 20 years ago in which he proffers slick mass entertainment as subversive.

*slick AS a pejorative

god knows I have problems with Obama, but the Smith-Obama analogy is SO glib.

Smith is avoiding the great insight of Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence’s superb prison film Life and Ving Rhames’ outrageous, hilarious prison characterizations in both Undeclared and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

I am so pumped for Armond's review of "Meet Dave."

that review is dumb as fuck but dude is on point that "life" is a better movie than anything will smiths done

I can't believe the number of people who slept on "Life", actually. It's so completely, utterly different from "Hancock" that I don't see why anyone would compare the two beyond some making some asinine "lol black actors" point, but it's still a great movie.

the point is that will smith's race imposes upon him the responsibility to be a writer like murphy or lawrence or have the great physical presence of rhames

or to impose upon himself the role restrictions that might have applied to belafonte or poitier

or to travel backwards in time

or to give armond white some of his money

God bless Armond for having a truly unique point of view but can he please stop pretending to be a film critic?

to impose upon himself the role restrictions that might have applied to belafonte or poitier

Thankgod Smith has insisted on displaying such Paul Muni-esque versatility.

Murphy responds to post-Dave Chappelle self-insult comedy with a better, more experienced sense of self-awareness (that is, self respect). Norbit is the meek part of Murphy, yet he wears a perfectly spherical Afro (like the teens in TV’s “What’s Happening”) that is like a halo of blackness—a nostalgic affection for his own youth. And don’t get angry at Norbit’s attempt to off his ogre-wife; its precedents recall Walter Mitty performing the Martha Rayes scenes of Chaplin’s Monsieur Verdoux. Not misogynist, just a funny function of a frustrated id. Rasputia herself is an outsized image of the frustrations that fuel obesity and black female stereotypes that turn into (often comical) rage. Dig the name, Rasputia. It’s a satirical ghetto moniker that brilliantly suggests a blinkered awareness of the non-black world; a joke worthy of Murphy’s terrific animated TV series “The PJs.”

And THAT is why I'm pumped for the "Meet Dave" review!

wait is that for real

you guys are fucking with me, right

He also called "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" a modern classic.

A.O. Scott for the poison-pen review win

“Seven Pounds,” which reunites Will Smith with Gabriele Muccino (who directed him in “The Pursuit of Happyness”), begins with a series of riddling, chronologically scrambled scenes. A man calls 911 to report his own suicide. He badgers a blind call-center employee — whom we suspect will be a significant character, since he’s played by Woody Harrelson — with complaints and insults. He embraces a lovely woman in an even lovelier beach house. He visits a nursing home where he terrorizes an administrator and comforts a resident.

For a while it is pleasant enough to contemplate these loose ends, and to tease from them the possible contours of a story. It is never unpleasant to watch Mr. Smith, who likes to play peekaboo with his charm, hiding it now and then behind fleeting shadows of anguish or malice. The music (Angelo Milli’s score and a handful of emotive pop songs) combines with the deep colors of Philippe Le Sourd’s cinematography to summon up intensities of sentiment not yet arrived at by the narrative, creating an interesting frisson of suspense. After a while, though, as the pieces of the puzzle snap together, curiosity gives way to incredulity.

Near the end of “Seven Pounds” a carefully laminated piece of paper appears, on which someone has written, “DO NOT TOUCH THE JELLYFISH.” I wouldn’t dream of it, and I’ll take the message as a warning not to divulge the astonishing things that happen, not all of them involving aquatic creatures.

Frankly, though, I don’t see how any review could really spoil what may be among the most transcendently, eye-poppingly, call-your-friend-ranting-in-the-middle-of-the-night-just-to-go-over-it-one-more-time crazily awful motion pictures ever made. I would tell you to go out and see it for yourself, but you might take that as a recommendation rather than a plea for corroboration. Did I really see what I thought I saw?

And I wish I could spell out just what that was, but you wouldn’t believe me, and the people at Sony might not invite me to any more screenings. So instead of spelling out what happens in “Seven Pounds,” I’ll just pluck a few key words and phrases from my notes, and arrange them in the kind of artful disorder Mr. Muccino seems to favor (feel free to start crying any time):

Eggplant parmesan. Printing press. Lung. Bone marrow. Eye transplant. Rosario Dawson. Great Dane. Banana peel. Jellyfish (but you knew that already). Car accident. Congestive heart failure.

Huh? What the ... ? Hang on. What’s he doing? Why? Who does he think he is? Jesus! That last, by the way, is not an exclamation of shock but rather an answer to the preceding question, posed with reference to Mr. Smith. Lately he has taken so eagerly to roles predicated on heroism and world-saving self-sacrifice — see “I Am Legend” and “Hancock” — that you may wonder if he has a messiah clause in his contract. Which is not to say that he doesn’t show range in these films, in which he credibly plays a research scientist, a dissolute superhero and, in this latest one, an I.R.S. agent.

An I.R.S. agent who wants only to help people. This is a nice, small joke that provides a few grace notes of levity in what is otherwise a lugubrious exercise in spiritual bushwa. For all its pious, earnest air, “Seven Pounds” cries out to be remade as an Asian horror movie, so that the deep, creepy grotesqueness of its governing premise might be allowed to flourish, rather than to fester beneath the surface.

As it is, the movie is basically an inverted, twisted tale of revenge. Ben Thomas, Mr. Smith’s character, is in essence a benevolent vigilante, harassing, stalking and spying on unsuspecting citizens for their own good, and also to punish himself. Why such misery should also be inflicted on an innocent, affirmation-hungry audience — and also on the marvelous Ms. Dawson, who plays one of Ben’s victim-beneficiaries — is another matter entirely.

But maybe I’m approaching this in the wrong way. Maybe “Seven Pounds” isn’t a spiritual parable about redemption or forgiveness or salvation or whatever, but rather a collection of practical lessons. Don’t drive while using a BlackBerry. Fertilize your rose bushes with banana peels — sorry, that was a spoiler. But please, whatever you do, don’t touch the jellyfish.

I’m serious. Don’t.

Hancock was suprisingly great and has reversed my feelings (with the help of i am legend) that Will Smith is actually pretty much awesome.

http://9.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kqrs7tdw9R1qzpqd6o1_500.jpg

http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/celebrities/6951547/Will-Smith-slaps-reporter

"That guy just tried to kiss me on my mouth. Is he joking? He's lucky I didn't sucker punch him," he told onlookers.

"Oh sorry, I just said that on camera - don't worry it's all good," he quipped.

and White Middle America sighs in relief

The reporter concerned is renowned for kissing and being overly affectionate with celebrities he is interviewing.

i would prob punch this person too

this is great

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hFjwbKMlmF4

He is so cute and cool in that clip. <3

Jesus Christ, I thought that was Ricky Schroeder with him and was confused as hell.

his laughs in that clip are pretty great

free willow tho

Gawker commenters say this makes Will Smith a homophobe

i thought it was Scientology that made him a homophobe

invading other people's personal space is one of the few things they should bring back capital punishment for

The reporter concerned is renowned for kissing and being overly affectionate with celebrities he is interviewing.

disgusting savage to make this one's shtick

Can't stop chuckling that his character's name in After Earth is "Cypher Raige"

Cool dude, occasionally terrible taste in movie themes

Still nice on the mic:

Thru all the years.. as so much changes.. I'm bless to have somethings remain the same... JJFP forever. #JJFP #ImTheDjHesTheRapper pic.twitter.com/MsOe90gBdw

— DJ Jazzy Jeff (@djjazzyjeff215) June 26, 2019

Jeremy O. Harris quoted in the New Yorker:
"It was the gayest thing Will Smith has ever done. It was giving ballroom."

Um, Six Degrees of Separation?

Last night's events

No, Six Degrees of Separation rules them all.

Also, the last time I ever gave a shit about Will Smith.

His version of I Am Legend (aka Omega Man) entirely misses the point of Matheson's novel

I just voted "Summertime" as my favourite/greatest video of all time--for its serenity, for its humaneness, for its wisdom.

Posted sixteen years ago:

Smith also visited the capital Delhi and the Taj Mahal and said he "connected" with Shahjahan - the Moghul Emperor who built the monument for his queen, Mumtaz Mahal.

He said: "In my home in Los Angeles, I've built a lake and called it 'Her Lake' as a token of my love for my wife. I totally understand that feeling of building a monument to show your love for your woman. When I was walking through the Taj Mahal, I kept saying, I am that man."

The man is consistent at least.

Will Smith - lake builder, moghul

This one's really firing up the take factory.

From an old GQ article:

The harsh reality for those who love a dreamer is that everything comes second to the dream. As Smith’s stardom grew, his wife would wake up many mornings in tears. At one point, she turned down an opportunity for her band to open for Guns N’ Roses so that Smith could continue shooting The Pursuit of Happyness. Things reached a breaking point by Jada’s 40th birthday, in 2011. Will had spent three years planning a private family-and-friends dinner in Santa Fe, where he screened a documentary he’d commissioned that chronicled her life and traced her family’s lineage back to slavery (and in which he tracked down a descendant of the white family who once owned Jada’s ancestors.)

How did I miss that Jada was in a nu-metal band

My favorite part of the attack was smith’s little look over his shoulder when walking away, like he was wary that Rock might come after him

... do major motion pictures typically halt production if the star's spouse is offered opening for GNR?

Will had spent three years planning a private family-and-friends dinner

As one does

everything I've heard about this lot gives me the willies

Me too, just now.

big willies still

the more i think about this, the more i think that there's no way Chris Rock, mega-millionaire and famous person for 30ish years, doesn't immediately walk off the stage and/or call security if this was real/unplanned.

right?

his reaction was pretty realistic - give the guy an Emmy if it turns out to be a work - but he has lived in a protective bubble for decades. he's just gonna shake off an assault and keep going?

i went to bed last night thinking it was real, but i'm starting to turn...

i don't know if you all want to talk about this, but i'm sure as hell not gonna tweet about it.

perhaps the Church of Scientology might help Smith with his anger management issues

he's just gonna shake off an assault and keep going?

yup. he sure is. he's hosting the Academy Awards on LIVE television. for big money and big exposure. every instinct of a professional performer, in mid-performance, on a big stage, in front of millions, is to 'go on with the show'. plus, smith turned heel and walked away immediately, so the threat went with away just seconds after the assault, while Rock was still in shock.

Weirder that there wasn't security stopping Smith. Though he was laughing at the joke on camera 10 seconds before he's suddenly there on stage slapping Rock. Then he sat down and shouted at him.

Probably going to be hearing about this crap for a long while

Supposedly rock did begin to approach smith while the nominees were being announced, but Denzel got between them

Everything is not a fucking conspiracy. In fact, almost nothing is!

^^^^

So he apologized I guess zzz

I’m sorry! walking onstage and slapping someone can happen to the best of us

just something one does when one is well

It was an "I'm sorry you made me do that" type apology. And most likely an "I'm sorry my publicist made me apologize" type apology. Fuck this guy.
But has anyone made a "he's the dj I'm the slapper" joke yet??

Haven't seen that one but I did laugh pretty hard at "what did Will Smith leave on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints"

not that i've seen but i can assure you that people have made the "he got in one little fight" / "that's why his mom made him move to L.A." joke. many people, even.

The Vulgar Display of Power 'shops were the best joke last night

it's interesting to me that he laughed along up until he saw his wife's face. seemed almost like he did this as a way to prevent her getting angry at him for laughing -- what they call an overcorrection.

Or it took him a second to remember what G.I. Jane was.

Ive seen a ton of "WHY DID YOU SLAP" refs.

And Simpsons Shitposting is loving this.

Sorry, I meant "HOW CAN YOU SLAP"

Yeah I’ve heard the whole “this is not how someone would react to getting slapped” thing but I’m not sure what reaction to expect when one is currently hosting the Oscars in progress

i bet chris rock has been slapped before idk

Funny thing is most ppl's idea of how someone reacts when slapped comes from scripted drama

what i'm unclear on is whether he knew jada pinkett smith had alopecia. he might have thought that was just a hairstyle of choice. that changes the joke, i think.

Chris Rock has been doing standup since the 80s, I’m sure that decades ago he managed to make it second nature to keep cool & not lose his shit in the face of audience outbursts or tense situations.

He was in shock p much. I got sucker punched on basketball court awhile back, in the face. I just sorta stood there for a bit. Took me a minute to process it.

you kind of expect comics to have shit lined up to deal with hecklers but i don't think that applies to working the oscars and being prepared to be hit by a famous actor? rock bounced back well but man i'll bet there are *so* many things he now wishes he'd said

even setting alopecia aside, tho, it's a terrible joke. that movie is 25 years old!

The fact that the movie is 25 years old, and largely forgotten, is the only thing that makes the joke even close to funny.

now imagining morbs hosting the oscars and making a reference to some jerry lewis deep cut

Neil Hamburger should host next year.

I think he's booked.

him hosting as his OC character would be much funnier actually

She announced she had it, post on Instagram about w pic of shaved head, "so yall wouldn't think Mama had brain surgery," so Rock could have known. Report was that Will laughed, glanced at her reaction, then did his thing--upstaging Summer of Soul and a lot of other winners, I saw reporters online asking Questlove to comment on The Incident; he declined, wanted to talk about the doc, so they went on to somebody else.

@MrGeorgeWallace
Y'all let's make sure
@QuestLove
wakes up to a mountain of love for winning an Oscar and whatnot. We saw that shit, Quest!
10:19 AM · Mar 28, 2022·Twitter Web App
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So that's what upset me. It was gonna be his night anyway, but talk about taking all the oxygen out.

Anyway, fuck it. Quest is on The Tonight Show now with his Oscar. Fallon don't you try to draw him out about the other shit.

And also, first Oscar for Samuel L Jackson! Completely upstaged by this bollocks.

The notion that everyone should know about a celebrity's mild medical condition because she mentioned it once or twice in the past...

You might think a celebrity that did a film about the importance of black women’s hair might have held his tongue on it, maybe? I didn’t know about it either but it’s not unreasonable to think he might have.

That was the first thing I thought of honestly, it seems v possible he didn’t know - “it was a gi jane joke” suggests he didn’t think he was going anywhere edgy with it* - but yeah you’d think the maker of good hair might be sensitive to why it might be a dick move to publicly humiliate someone over their hair regardless

*I am bored with this incident now but the way he said this is very stuck in my head. Also “I’m going to”

Yeah I was lifting your point there, should have said!

Wonder if it will leak whether he even wrote the joke. You’d think “of course, it’s Chris Rock, he’d write his own joke,” but he was there as a presenter.

The academy said in their statement yesterday that it wasn’t part of the script

semi regret not watching his Ali a few weeks ago when i saw it was on the tv. Now not likely to take it seriously. Though may have been my reaction on trying to watch it in the first place which might be why I haven't so far.

Oh well, is his future as even more of an action star. Channeling all that testosterone and toxic masculinity and fun stuff like that.

really aggressively broad use of the phrase “toxic masculinity” these past few days

if someone made fun of my wife’s condition i would kick their ass on live television

Cleansing masculinity.

anyway i hate this discourse and i hate award shows, everybody do something else

Like watch Summer of Soul.

I think this is a pretty straightforward example of toxic masculinity

Chris Rock isn't funny, I think Smith was just looking for any excuse to kick his ass.

Yeah, the joke he told a few years ago about her Oscars boycott probably created some bad blood

yeah "i went up onstage and punched that nerd bc i didnt like what he said about my wife" is p much exactly in the toxic masc strike zone, whether or not its relatable or if one would do the same is not exactly dispositive evidence against it being toxic.

I think this is a pretty straightforward example of toxic masculinity

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, March 29, 2022 5:39 AM (fourteen minutes ago)

explain it to me like i’m a tiny baby pls

more comedians should be slapped

macho violence is harmful and we shouldn't normalize it

any instance of wanting to kick someone’s ass bc they said something fucked up about someone you care about is toxic okidoke sounds pretty standard for this board

put an end to this constant slapping it’s ruining society

i'm talking about when men do it specifically. i am pushing back against the suggestion that men punching people is a righteous way of standing up for yourself or the people you love.

ofc caring about the dynamics of rich ppl at an awards show at all means i’ve already lost

no shade to will smith. i can understand why he reacted the way he did. but men shouldn't walk away from this thinking it's acceptable behavior.

"cancel culture has gotten out of hand, you cant even hit people anymore"

I'm torn. I do think this is macho shithead-ism, but I also do think that there should be more slapping in life in general.

A la Corky St. Clair on duels.

ridiculing a black woman for her appearance strikes me as way more classically toxic

what did slapping him accomplish? nothing? did it make things worse? this was not a solution. his wife was insulted and instead of talking to her and seeing how she felt and what course of action she wanted, he decided it was up to him to get angry and act violently because *his* wife was insulted. he instantly made it about him and his anger and his partner was left on the sidelines of the shit show smith and rock created.

xpost to brad. i feel like i've wasted my time writing this as brad is determined to be passive aggressive and has no real interest in actually discussing this

Trump should've just run up and slapped Obama instead of running for President.

i'm not defending what chris rock did.

they can both be toxic, this is not rocket science

Will should’ve settled this with Chris backstage or a day or two later, not in front of the entire damn world on television.

(Ideally without slapping.)

his wife was insulted and instead of talking to her and seeing how she felt and what course of action she wanted, he decided it was up to him to get angry and act violently because *his* wife was insulted

altho the footage shows him initially laughing at the joke while she is more 'rhde' so I figured off camera he quickly realised she was genuinely upset (or seemed so enough for him to flip - maybe on another occasion she'd reacted differently so his guard was down who knows?)

There is a long FB post about this by a friend of a friend from a black power perspective that I can copy/paste here that made a helluva lot of sense to me.

I know that by now we should be beyond this stuff but the past decade has shown we aren’t - this is two famous black men in a confrontation on live television in a setting where there shouldn’t be confrontation in 2022.

I also think (as has been suggested up thread) this wasn’t really about Chris Rock - it was about years of rumors and jokes and bullshit. Chris Rock - and, yes, dumb insensitive joke - was probably the stand it for society or something there.

ya, who know really. but obviously there wasn't any time to consider what his partner actually wanted. he saw her expression and went straight to slappin'!
xpost

Of course Smith was right to be angry! Who wouldn’t be?!

If you want to put Rock in his place and seem like a total prick, literally he could have shouted “she’s got alopecia” back - he looks like a prize shit if he did know and he looks insensitive and crass at best if he didn’t. What’s he going to say back to that?

I found the shift from seeming* to laugh to up on the stage really disturbing, I was also thinking about the fact that Smith slapped him, rather than punching him, as he’d probably do him an injury with a proper punch.

*i don’t think he should have played along either!

to RC: i don't know much about celebrity gossip, but i guess WS and Jada have been getting ridden kind of hard about their relationship and smith's outburst was about much more than what Rock said.

Yeah I’d agree with that.

it has been advocated both on this board and in wider discourse that will smith’s oscar should be revoked and y’all know i love to play the whataboutism game but there are several men who have done actual grievous harm to women (you might even say they’re the real victims of toxic masculinity) who have oscars

this is why i balk at it being classified as toxic. to whom

to a bunch of other men online apparently

well, i've seen tons of people advocating that what will smith did is what real men do / how real men protect theirs so i am pushing back against that.

I have no take on this but I'll agree with Trayce upthread that it was a great day for Simpsons Bortposting

TT, yeah - I know the barest amount of the gossip because it can be unavoidable and honestly don’t wanna know more.

Gyac, the shift you mention (from laughter to attack) is among the weirder things about all this. It’s a shift that, in a comedic movie or television context - maybe even in a program starring Will Smith - would make more sense. In real life, it’s unsettling.

well, i've seen tons of people advocating that what will smith did is what real men do / how real men protect theirs so i am pushing back against that.

― aegis philbin (crüt), Tuesday, March 29, 2022 6:24 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

obv online is horrible and we should shut the whole thing down

agreed

two famous black men in a confrontation on live television in a setting where there shouldn’t be confrontation in 2022

I think it was Wanda Sykes (one of the hosts of the night, remember) who had a whole stand-up routine about things you don't do when white people are watching, and you don't get much more "white people are watching" than the fucking Oscars.

it has been advocated both on this board and in wider discourse that will smith’s oscar should be revoked and y’all know i love to play the whataboutism game but there are several men who have done actual grievous harm to women (you might even say they’re the real victims of toxic masculinity) who have oscars

this is why i balk at it being classified as toxic. to whom

The high school WhatsApp thread I regretfully joined last month ran, to my surprise, 2-to-1 against Will Smith, in part because, unsurprisingly, he lets his wife "whore around."

Ugh

i've seen tons of people advocating that what will smith did is what real men do

incl will smith in his actual speech, creepily yelling that its his job to "PROTECT!" his 53y/o female colleague who he considers himself a father figure to, nothing macho or hypermasculine or implying violence about that though, after all others have done worse

I feel like there's this intense need to make this moment mean something larger than it actually means. Obviously slapping someone is bad and not the appropriate response, and also it was fucking weird and a bit shocking to see it on the oscar stage on live tv. I don't think it needs to be some larger point about toxic masculinity, race, honor, pride, our culture, etc. Someone said something that understandably made him angry, he didn't react in the best way but he also didn't seriously injure anyone (I've seen some OTT takes on how dangerous this was - it was an open-handed slap that left Chris Rock 100% coherent, if a little stunned). And apparently he has now actually apologized. It was a bizarre moment of television, and I feel like the real reason people are talking to it and trying to find meaning in it is just that it was a bizarre moment of television.

I'd rather talk about Ginny Thomas tbh

when is someone gonna slap Clarence Thomas into stepping off the court

supreme court shld def have more host segments & roast jokes

https://www.stereogum.com/2181417/julian-casablancas-finally-breaks-his-legendary-silence-about-will-smith-punching-chris-rock-at-the-oscars/news/

Protect your elk

“The Clarence Thomas Roast,” hosted by Jimmie “JJ” Walker

Casablancas looks like an 11th grade Madonna imitator in 1985.

yes also enjoyed how he would've stuck up for slender dude Chris Rock

I very much wish he'd been there to try and defend Rock.

i wish i was there to try and defend Chris Rock, idk maybe bad look cause i’m white or whatever but chris rock is kind of a slender dude and will smith trained for a boxing movie for a year so i feel that was just an act of bullying… – trying to redeem his Tupac jealousy issues (?)

This is the new “If I’d been been on the plane on 9/11”

when the URL belies the assigned writers sense of self-loathing

just glad this is all wrapped up now

I don’t know—have we heard from Amanda Palmer yet?

"trying to redeem his Tupac jealousy issues (?)"

Aren't we all

^OTM

You had to make me click on that Thing that looks like an Onion article but isn't, didn't you.

imm bummed out too, not even able to smile at "defend their elk." Maybe imm still just in residual bummer from watching the final episode of The Andy Warhol Diaries instead of the Academy Awards. I never said I was elkept!

I noticed that Chris Rock never stopped grinning..

yeah i shared with a friend who i would normally share indie rock cringe nonsense with and then i apologized cuz this isn't even fun

The only correct takes about this are "heh" and "who cares." Anything more nuanced is wrong.

its something unpredictable
but in the end is right
will smith slapped chris rock on oscar night

— DougExeter (@Doug_Exeter) March 28, 2022

I don’t know—have we heard from Amanda Palmer yet?

QUIET, YOU

Put some tussin on it!

Bottle empty? Just put some water in it and shake it. Mo' tussin!

Chris Rock once joked that he had fewer friends than the Trenchcoat Mafia - that no one ran to his defense on Sunday seems to have proved the truthfulness of that claim.

His friends don't get invited. Except Adam Sandler when he does that once-a-decade prestige role thing

Everyone’s got an opinion on this

He was wrong but I understand the sentiment. pic.twitter.com/aURe1pyubg

— O.J. Simpson (@TheRealOJ32) March 29, 2022

Good to see OJ living the good life, enjoying his retirement, and opining on things that have absolutely nothing to do with him

People who have figured out how to live (after helping other people not to live)

Dammit I can’t believe I didn’t think to say that I hope he had sown ‘tussin on hand for his face.

twitter sure did

Is that some kind of Biblical expression involving “sown” with which I am unfamiliar?

Chris Rock had a riff about how his father would put "tussin" on any injury his kids had

I know, thanks, think I may have mentioned it first on this thread, if not on twitter. Just wondering about the exact wording of ENBB's post.

And there was 'tussin in Egypt and Joseph sent for his brothers that they might partake of it.

Seems like a typo for "some," but lol at the biblical.

And yea! He who soweth the Lord's 'tussin shall not want, but will be relieved of the slaps of the Philistines.

Willistines, fuck! Missed my shot there.

Lol

And Denzel said unto the leader of the WIllistines: tuss not, lest you be tussed.

The Shroud of Tussin

willenarianism

And the Lord looked upon the ‘tussin and it was good. It made the halt to walk, the blind to see, the dead to quicken. But upon the next day the Lord looked upon the ‘tussin and it was not good, for it had diminished. Thereupon the Lord parted the waters and– mo ‘tussin!

Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of 'tussin away from me.

Abe said where you want this tussin done?
God said out on highway 61

Lol!

And the Sluglord sent an angel upon a flaming custard pie unto the captain of the Willistines, driving him and all his brethren out of the Wood of Holly, saying unto them: remember this all thy days, from tuss thou art and unto tuss shalt thou return.

Lads

Talkin' 'bout 'Tussin!

Robi Tussin!

The Purtuss of Slappiness

This article reminds me why this whole thing has seemed so No Big Deal to me — for '90s-'00s hip-hop fans, fights at awards shows were like fights at hockey games.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/rick-ross-young-jeezy-history-violence-awards-375382/

”The devil, in fact, doesn’t exist,” wrote Almodóvar. “This was a fundamentalist speech that we should neither hear nor see. Some claim that it was the only real moment in the ceremony, but they are talking about the faceless monster that is the social media. For them, avid for carrion, it undoubtedly was the great event of the night.”

Pedro Almodóvar on Will Smith at the Oscars: ‘The devil, in fact, doesn’t exist’ https://t.co/30b6EZKBYl

— Guardian news (@guardiannews) March 31, 2022

Why are you all still talking about this

Back to Hancock discourse, then…

It's the biggest Hollywood story since Alec Baldwin shot someone 5 months ago

Dying at the Almodóvar piece.

Javier has seen Al Pacino farther off and exclaims: “I’ve seen God.” When I go up to that group, it’s a mass of talent. Javier doesn’t stop hugging him and Pacino smiles, delighted. I say: “You, Al Pacino. Me, Al Modovar.” Javier roars with laughter. I think it’s the worst joke I’ve made in my life.

Puns that you can’t miss!

Too bad Al-Queda wasn't there

Maybe Almodovar should host next year.

Chris Rock used to do a bit about Al Cracker.

scratching my head at the # of people coming onto the will smith thread to decry the fact that people are talking about the incident a few days ago where he ran onstage and punched someone during the live TV broadcast of the oscars. like maybe a year from now it will be weird to talk about, but its certainly the most interesting will smith news in, what, 25 years?

It's just a dick move to dictate what others should discuss and when they should move on. Why the fuck are they opening this thread in the first place?

This incident has to go through the stages:

1. Shock
2. Jokes
3. Hot takes
4. Cool takes
5. We are too cool to talk about this anymore
6. 20 years from now someone does a podcast about how no one remembers this

lol

tbf it's possible DJP literally wanted to know why

It's just a dick move to dictate what others should discuss and when they should move on. Why the fuck are they opening this thread in the first place?

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, March 31, 2022 8:37 AM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

these people who think they can shape my will to match their own designs. these will smiths.

My favorite songs by The Will Smiths is "Strikes Bigmouth Again"

so where are we on the schedule? I can't find "Cool jokes" in the list.

We're in "hot shakes/mistakes."

Good Will Smithing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0DRch3YLh0

xps Maybe a lot of people actually read this site as one thread? It's weird

the tussin stuff easily the funniest shit around this I've seen. good work thread

It’s more like one of the handful of Black people on this site wondering when the non-Black people are going to get this shit out of their system. I know it’s not a perspective most of you hear on a regular basis.

Kinda hear your scolding about that often

dude stfu

Seconded

because people like you persist?

xpost

Oh I know, how dare someone push back against the Black Man of ILX.
If Jim Carrey had slapped Ricky Gervais, ppl would def still be taking about it.

fuck this shit.

Granny Dainger's not-so-secret conservative waaaaahhhhh instincts emerge.

gtfo out of this board and find a Reddit thread where your mewlings have a teenage audience suitable for Ben Shapiro's IQ

Oh I know, how dare someone push back against the Black Man of ILX.
If Jim Carrey had slapped Ricky Gervais, ppl would def still be taking about it.

way to utterly neuter the impact of your second statement (which I agree with) by fronting it with this absurd shit.

Wow this conversation went south quick.

I think the real reason people are still talking about it is to distract themselves from the threat of nuclear war and a two-year plague.

xp Jim Carrey not a great substitute, given his televised interview. I knew I shouldn't contribute to keeping this distraction rolling, but I did it any way because I had to share my shit joeks. I'm sorry for my contribution, and I appreciate the perspective.

This was quite good.

"If a Black man who has had a professional and personal reputation of being one of the nicest men in Hollywood for over the course of his three-decade career can immediately be villainized, I shudder at the thought of the way people are treating the Black boys and Black men in their everyday lives with considerably less social and monetary capital."

https://www.xonecole.com/will-smith-chris-rock-slap-accountability/?rebelltitem=3#rebelltitem3

I agree he should not be villainized, it was clear from his speech that he has some major psychological issues going on that he needs to work on. I seriously doubt anyone actually thinks Will Smith is an asshole despite his attempt in the moment to seem tough. Guy is not Sean Penn or (pick your random hollywood celeb who likes to punch out photographers etc) some evil pariah like Woody Allen.

I'm astounded at the many profound insights into society, politics, psychology, the entertainment world, race relations, and the war in Ukraine, that are revealed to the world when you really stop and think about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock while dressed in tuxedos.

its so crazy

Slap as Text

Guy is not Sean Penn--the last guy (or at least a prominent example) to really take issue with Chris Rock at the Academy Awards...over Jude Law, not his wife.

lmao jfc

My mom told me a bunch of pastors here in Boston tried to contact Chris Rock during his show to help him broker an accord with will smith and i think this is officially losing the plot

— Kaitlyn Greenidge (@surlybassey) April 1, 2022

“God wants you two to work this thing out”

a new school of philosophy that's deeply voyeuristic and like totally hinges on those tuxes. cool like.
Would it work with any other garments?

Opinion
It’s Been 4 Days Since The Oscars And I Hate That We’re Still Talking About Will Smith
"I refused to write a hot take because I knew everyone was going to have a hot take. This is not a hot take. It’s a hate take."

I forgot to include the Hate Take stage

Hate the take, don't hate the taker. Oh wait.

https://variety.com/2022/film/news/will-smith-resigns-academy-oscars-slap-chris-rock-1235221041/?fbclid=IwAR0q_NItSqQoNSECsx2L7BB7YoU5VE7J88_Nyxc5UgC_E8NvRoqX7iJlVFE

Well.

I’m literally loling at this

In the meantime, here’s what Smith’s resignation means for the actor’s Oscars future:

Yes, he still gets to keep his Best Actor Oscar for “King Richard”
Yes, he can still get invited to future Academy Awards ceremonies
Yes, he can still be nominated for future consideration
No, he is no longer a voting member of the Academy

In addition, Mr. Smith was given a good talking to and was told by the Academy that they were very disappointed in him and they hoped he would do better in the future. Which punishment seems about right for the crime.

massive eyeroll at all of this

signifying-nothing, performative, nonsensical twaddle

What works for us is revoking TV-watching privileges

not only can he come back next year he will be used in all their promotional material

performative

it's hollywood, vg, where 'performative' is what matters most

exactly

my first reaction to this is still my reaction which is that i felt bad for chris rock because being attacked is frightening and humiliating, and i felt bad for will smith that he self-sabotaged so amazingly at one of the bigger and most public moments of his career and i hope he can figure out why and find some peace

<3 i think that def sums it up

Well, sometimes these things turn out to be completely anomalous, and never repeated, in public anyway:

1979-09-22 Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY

Info & Setlist | Venue
Second MUSE (Musicians United for Safe Energy) Benefit concert, also known as "No Nukes". "Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)" features an instrumental snippet of "Wipe Out" after Max's introduction. Contains the infamous Lynn Goldsmith moment during "Quarter To Three" - Goldsmith (Bruce's ex-girlfriend) was taking photos, which Bruce thought she had agreed not to do. He drags her up on stage, announces her as "my ex-girlfriend" and then has her escorted away. Tom Petty joins along with Jackson Browne and Rosemary Butler for "Stay".

Estela nailed it.

What works for us is revoking TV-watching privileges

My fear is that if Hollywood ostracizes Will Smith he will end up as a right winger making action films for the Eastern European market

Will Smith & Steven Seagal in...LET'S GO BRANDON!

You laugh but

Straight to streaming, surprise smash hit

Fresh Prince vs. Kid Rock Rap Battle scene.

I think I can beat Ivan Drago

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/FPWSXqDXoAcYeGf?format=jpg&name=900x900

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FPWSXqDXoAcYeGf?format=jpg&name=900x900

and if you liked that one, wait until the numerologists get to work on this

how much would pfizer have to pay those two millionaires for the performance?

oh shit!

A Video Of Chris Rock Opening Up About Suffering Sexual Assault From School Bullies As A Child Has Resurfaced Online After He Was Smacked By Will Smith
The comedian also recounted a time that he violently retaliated against one of his bullies, which left him “scared to be angry” for decades.

I always remember about five scrolls in (and four scrolls too late) that BF deliberately reverts the traditional inverted pyramid structure so that nothing of any real use will show up in the copy until you've been on the page for a couple minutes already.

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/entertainment/2022/03/30/wanda-sykes-smith-slapping-rock-it-sickening/7224662001/

what the fuck is this new song he's got out. if I didn't know better I'd say he's having a mental episode