British v. American

(Sorry, with a band comprised of 2 Canadians, a Brit and me, we have endless fun comparing pronounciations and phrases. I couldn't even begin to categorise them all.)

thus radio gaga/radio googoo sets up clever opposition whereby alternatives are mumbled rusks of the v.old and feeble ovs mumbled rusks of v.young and unformed

Blimey I thought people only used "fudge" like that in comics!

"Oh, bum" "Twat" "Good arrers!"

And gaga - you may not have noticed, but that's what babies say. It's not a British plot.

And what the fudge does mad mean over the water if it doesn't mean bonkers, nuts, doolally, barking, one "Fat Skier" short of a Throwing Muses back catalogue?

Blimey.

I'm still wondering what the English equivalent of "Luptune" is.

I'd just like to say that I now wuv Mark again, and have forgiven him his Alan Garner dissing.

But as for your original query, I'd submit "fancy" as in to feel attracted to someone. Whenever on Prolapse UBB I tell people I fancy someone I get Americans going on & on about "fancy". From this I conclude they say things like "I dig her", etc.

As I'm sure crafty Mark knows, 'mad' means 'angry' in America (as in 'don't make me mad'). But, Luptune, surely you have the 'insane' meaning too? Are you really saying that you lot get confused by phrases like 'he's gone mad', 'mad or bad?', 'The Madness of George III' (well yeah, I know that last one caused its own problems). I think you're making it up!

In America, mad people are angry, sick people are ill, and pissed people are angry too. There is no direct translation for 'fancy' there which is a really, really bad thing and makes otherwise sensible people resort to hippie-speak.

Americans don't really need 'git' when we have creep, asshole, jerk, dick, pecker, wuss, schmuck, and shithead to choose from. But anyone who read Star Hits (the US remix of Smash Hits) in 1984 got the British slang conversion chart with wanker, git, and many other faves in it so instantly augmented their speech patterns to be able to converse with visiting rock stars. Also the Monkees' Randy Scouse Git offered similar inspiration to me and my friends.

Yeah I try to avoid the use of 'sick' to mean ill. It's nasty and implies nausea where none is intended. Imagine if Morrissey had written a song called 'Still Sick'. That would just be rubbish.

Either way I want a Fanny Farmer t-shirt NOW.

a: "i'm going drinking at the weekend" m: "is that nearby?" a: "huh?" m: "is that a pub near your house?" a: "you mean flat" m: "huh?" ---- much laughing --- a: "are you pissed?" m: "about what?" a: "no are you drunk?" m: "no..." a: "anyway, i'm shattered, i better let you go" m: "shattered?" a: "i think i'll have a lie-in tomorrow" m: "wait.... i know this... you're going to sleep in, right?!"

Alasdair also found it funny when I called him a butthead.

I find it hard to say "Ta..." and "Oy" Is that spelled right?

You can learn all these things while watching Buffy.

No, 'pretentious shit' is said more or less the same way here as there, surely. *dodges brickbats, retires hastily*

Another observation ... us Yanks tend to use the word "shit" more often than you Brits. As in, "don't touch my shit," "he eats that shit right up," or "I'll be coming back after lunch and shit." Matter of fact, I don't think I've ever heard a Brit tag on "and shit" to the end of a sentence (as in "I'll be coming back and shit") the way we Yanks do all the time.

Re "wad" (i.e., "dick-wad," "shit-wad," etc.), in my neck of the woods (is "neck of the woods" also an Americanism?) it was always weed (i.e., "dick-weed") and not wad. Maybe that's an East Coast thing. (Which also reminds me, I went to high school with a kid named Richard Weed. Since Richard was a big strapping lad who played linebacker for the high school football team, no-one called him "Dick Weed," tho'.)

What I always wonder about is this: I get the impression that when Yanks and Limeys mingle in equal numbers, it is always the Yanks who develop Anglicisms (henceforth Limeyspeak), thereby proving either the superiority of Limeyspeak or the cultural pretensions of Americans. I suspect this is a purely subjective impression, though, since I really wouldn't know if the Limeys were affecting Yankisms or not.

So, question: as far as ILE goes, are the Limeys falling into Yank patterns as much as I notice the Yanks, myself included, falling into Limeyspeak? And what about the Frogs and Krauts?

babies DON'T say them: adults say them TO BABIES!! To trick them!! If you spoke clearly and grown-uply to babies they would speak much sooner!!

Back me up Gale, you have grandchildren who are surely all very clever and articulate. Becasue you NEVER said "gaga" to them, so they never said it back!! Or am I being Mr Bonkers Bloke?

Neither do the British. Except maybe some annoying people of a certain generation who picked it up from Punt & Dennis or Simon Mayo or something.

Rhubarbs and zucchini are two completely different animals over here. Rhubarb being a red stalk thing that makes a good pie and zucchini being a thin green squash.

Yes, don't worry - we have the same distinction in case you were worried about pie faux pas on holiday. Except we call zucchini courgettes, as RickyT says.

Remind me what rutabaga is.

What is the correct way to write out 3.322% in UK English? I'm translating a Dutch contract into English English and have to write out the amount in full. In US English, we'd say "three point three two two percent" but maybe we'd write it out as "three percent and three hundred twenty-two thousandths of a percent"

I know you write "per cent" in UK English. Do you use "point"?

Or how about "It's hot as balls."

Please can someone from the UK tell me if "hallway" sounds American? Would you call a wide hallway/corridor a corridor? I need to know today if possible because a client is asking about a translation I did. Thanks! (or should I say "Ta!"?)

hallway is perfectly OK! in fact it's preferable to 'corridor', people who call wide hallways 'corridors' are nuts

Or in prison

Yeah, or just 'hall'

Or in an 18th century gothicx novel, wherein a GIANT HAND or SOOTHSAYING GHOST is probably hiding in the corridor.

Has anyone read Castle of Otranto? That might be the funniest book in the world.

OK, thanks! I'm finding out that the British lady I used to work with, the one who explained many of the differences between UK and US English, used very stilted, out-dated English and was in fact off her rocker!

(By the way, I've never been to the UK, but Scott and I are considering the possibility of a home swap next August for a couple of weeks. Anyone with a place in London who would like to spend a couple of weeks on the lovely island of Martha's Vineyard? You could collect yellow rocks with Beth Parker! Our house is brand new and very nice, just steps from a beach.)

I think a rutabaga is another name for a turnip. Turnip greens are nice with a bit of hot sauce but the turnip itself can go rot. nasty vegetabel.

No.

Turnip: (OK, but not DELICIOUS, IMO)

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:TpgJfkmxMzE8ZM:http://schmidling.com/turnip1.jpg

Rutabaga: (VERY delicious)

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:APBTvrU_YCGHUM:http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2005/10/11/PH2005101100335.jpg
Rutabaga:

Is there a difference between what grocery stores here call 'green onions' and scallions?

Oh. Wait. Apparently a rutabaga is a variety of turnip.

Rutabaga disambiguation page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turnip_%28disambiguation%29

Is there a difference between what grocery stores here call 'green onions' and scallions?

no

The Black Scallion

You can't do that with green onions.

I don't think the 'hallway' and 'corridor' concepts are exact matches, but I can't really explain it. 'Corridor' seems a lot more general and 'hallway' seems much more specific in ways that are beyond my power to communicate.

Corridor says to me "a long passage, with doors coming off it". I don't think you get corridors in regualar houses, really. More hotels and offices ... and maybe castles!

Hallways are not so long. They can be big or small, but don't tend to be long in shape. They suggest to me the spaces you find when you enter a building, but the more I think about the word the more I'm not sure what they are.

A "hotel corridor" seems wrong to me. I can't think of any building where people sleep there at night that have a corridor. Corridors are for schools, municipal buildings, etc.

Hallway is the generic term, its any long mostly linear connecting space inside a building. Corridors are always long, and have lots of doors leading from them. They are frequently wide.

corridor does have something of a municipal connotation. i kind of think of hallway as either being a bit wider or having something in it, maybe a little side table, or some pictures, even just a pair of shoes. a corridor seems more purely functional.

a hallway is maybe a bit warmer

Having worked in an American company, one word that Americans seem to use frequently is "data". Also the subsidiary words "sufficient" and "insufficient". e.g:

"Bob, I can't take a shit right now, I don't have sufficent bathroom data." etc.

British people tend to make decisions without such recourse to "data", which makes their decision making process:

1. Quicker, and
2. More likely to be wrong.

Americans (at least the big, powerful ones) also tend to use borderline-inappropriate legalistic/technical words in place of simple ones. e.g. "prosecute" instead of "start" or "undertake".

"We have prosecuted the offensive against the Iranian-funded rebels" etc.

Filey Camp OTM, except I think the relative width of a coridoor and hallway is a red herring. The key is stuff, furniture - you can be a great ornate hallway in a boarding school or a small hallway in a guest house. A corridor is purely functional, in a hospital or office building, there's no need to put anything in it other than doors.

Also a hallways is, generally speaking, just inside the entrance, a corridor can be anywhere in the building.

Prosecute would mean to complete a task, rather than to start or undertake.

BBC does better television programs.

Although, as an American, I've only rarely seen prosecute used this way. Was your "American company" the Army, Phil?

HBO does better television programs. : )
xpost

"Although, as an American, I've only rarely seen prosecute used this way. Was your "American company" the Army, Phil?"

Almost.

They make big yellow construction machines......

"endeavor" was another popular word. Indeed, "endeavors" were frequently "prosecuted".

I haven't heard PROsecute used that way. Definitely have heard EXecute used that way though.

Just needed somewhere to post this pic, this seemed as good as anywhere...

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45965000/jpg/_45965743_007539739-1.jpg

http://www.theodoresworld.net/HostageRescueAttempt/Death_To_America_Iranians_Chanted_Image8.jpg

http://i43.tinypic.com/1zvzifm.jpg

i was gonna drop that 'down with British' img when the time was right

US flag is upside down. fucking insult.

not to mention the stars of David

you can't knock that attention to detail

Hey U.K. ilxors, I need some quick help. Which is the better way to refer to a city over in your fair country:

Cambridge, England
Cambridge, United Kingdom

Many thanks.

england

'consider yourself.... warned'

Cambridge, (Near London!)

if for the benefit of Americans
sincerely i don't think there's much difference; i say UK so as not to be confused with some keenly nationalistic isolationist but i don't think that's really an issue. england would be fine, i guess particularly if you're referring to this for the benefit of people outside the country. open to being corrected on this if there's a protocol.

cambridge UK like charlatans UK

Edinburgh, England

you wouldn't put 'belfast, united kingdom'

would you

you would not

no I wouldn't

Thanks guys. This is pretty much what I thought. I'm anticipating a dispute about this with one of my coworkers.

england was part of thehttp://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPGempire

romon my damn eyes

putting placename, countryname in that format seems like such an american thing to do, for some reason.

Well, it's going to show up in a document as part of a list.

in america

okay, true.

for the benefit for i dont love everything, i love football

darragh if you are proposing that things would be simpler if we had a distinction just for "america" and "not america" as a red blooded american patriot i of course agree

i propose something along the lines of "Cambridge, USA Freedomland #1!" and like "Cambridge, Elsewhereville"

enjoy colbert's rally my friend

sending a record to australia and part of the mailing address is "Private Bag 63"

?????????????????

is that the person's name?

cos that would be awesome tbf

We generally do "Cambridge, England" in my office. (NB: I work for an American company that has deep historical roots in the U.K. and as such tends to be fairly sensitive about styling British terms/phrases correctly.)

i always thought saying "torch" instead of "flashlight" was pretty dope

you wouldn't put 'belfast, united kingdom'

Depends what area of Belfast surely?

...but if in doubt just put, "Belfast, Norn Iron"

an American company that has deep historical roots in the U.K.

12,584 weeks, morelike, iirc.

an American company that has deep historical roots in the U.K.

The US Governement?

12,584 weeks, morelike, iirc.

Yes.

http://weblogs.wpix.com/news/local/morningnews/blogs/thomas0720.jpg

Say 'The original Cambridge'.

But yeah I would say either's absolutely fine as far as sensitivity goes.

Cambridge I

Oxbridge (Eastside)

reprazent

Cambridge 1.0 (no longer supported)

http://www.cambridge-ia.us/Welcome_files/shapeimage_2.png

xxpost Scott, yeah the "Private Bag" address is used a lot in Australia for large companies and govt stuff. Lots of mail-in competitions to TV shows when I was a kid were addressed to 'Private Bag XXX"

Apparently a bit more secure than PO Box. More info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_Mail_Bag

My friend works for an English company in the US and the Brits use "Cheers" a lot at the end of emails, and I wish we did that here. It's a nice way of signing off without being too formal or sounding curt.
Things what the UK says: 1. Taking the piss out of = sending up, mocking, satirizing, feeling superior to (I well may be getting this wrong tho) 2. That's well ___ = that's very ____ 3. Bang on! = dead on 4. 'Fucking' used differently. UK: "it's Merchant and fucking Ivory" Or "I don't fucking know" US: Fuck, it's Merchant and Ivory" or "Fuck, I don't know" or "fucked if I know" 5. Corker = something intense
― turner, Thursday, November 22, 2001 7:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark

We USians also say "Merchant and fucking Ivory" which is a far different thing from "Fuck, it's Merchant and Ivory."

"Fuck, it's Merchant and Ivory."

Also the title of their short-lived weekly variety series.

usonians

For what it's worth I always use "Cambridge, UK".

The guy never asked! Last time he seemed ready to pop - "England isn't even a country! The United Kingdom iss a country!"

is

England is a country though.

When I was a waiter I asked a group of people if they were British and they laughed and said "no, we're
English. "

I'm still not sure what the joke is in that statement.

the joke is on Wales and Scotland iirc

saw the phrase "fuck-tonne" today

I have no problem with being described as British. I often hear Americans refer to a 'British accent' however, which we never would. We'd be more region specific than that when describing accents - English, Scottish etc. There's not really any such thing as a generic British accent.

Also yeah, sure many Welsh and Scots might not be too pleased to be called British (though technically they are).

are there different RP for different regions?

Tricky question. RP is an English accent, and till relatively recently was what every region was supposed to aspire to (Blair was educated in Edinburgh for example, and there's not a single trace of Scots in his voice), but things are becoming a lot less regulated, and a lot more regional voices are being heard in the media. But it's not anywhere near the point where you'll hear, say, a thick Glaswegian accent reading the news, I suspect not even in Glasgow. So there is kind of a diluted standard pronunciation for every region I'd say.

Dudes. Really? Let me break it down.

Great Britain is an ISLAND in the British Isles occupied by the COUNTRIES England, Scotland and Wales who are ruled, along with another COUNTRY Northern Ireland, by the CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY known as The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

A British accent = English accent
A Scottish accent = Sean Connery
An Irish Accent = The Lucky Charms leprechaun
A Welsh Accent = ???? ( as far as I know my grandfather and my kids' back-up pediatrician are the only Welsh people who ever existed because iirc I've never ever met or even heard of anyone else who is Welsh?? )

Anthony Hopkins, Tom Jones...

... John Cale (if you want to hear a lovely South Wales accent listen to "The Gift" by the Velvet Underground)

But it's not anywhere near the point where you'll hear, say, a thick Glaswegian accent reading the news, I suspect not even in Glasgow

Hell will freeze over before you hear that

An Irish Accent = The Lucky Charms leprechaun

May be an oversimplification, in that nobody speaks in a lucky charms leprechaun accent outside of Tom Cruise in far & Away

So does the word "underpants" blow Brits' minds?

Or seem super stupid, maybe?

No, the word seems redundant. They'd use PANTS to describe underwear, not a pair of trousers. PANTS is also pejorative, as in 'that's crap' and 'that's pants' are interchangeable.

I know that they'd use "pants" to mean underwear.

I've been shopping for pants (trousers) recently and all I can think about is the Brit meaning. It is a mild intrusive thought. Pants panties pants panties pants panties.

Is the phrase "nice one" a thing in British parlance? And in a way different from it's North American form, where you comment on a specific thing/a good job, etc.

It means just 'good job!'/'great!' - and it's far more a british thing than n. american.

http://www.strawbsweb.co.uk/sesscvrs/cyril.jpg

OK, because once I got several emails from a British person who kept saying "nice one," but not in reference to anything, and I didn't know what the deal was.

"the deal" is an Americanism, according to an Irish former coworker.

It does mean "good job", but some British people use it like punctuation, so the "job" in question could be anything as mundane as "nice one, I haven't seen you for 2 days and here you are", "ah you've bought yourself a pint, nice one" or, apparently, "nice one m8, thanks for your e-mail"

and although "pants" is the everyday word, you still sometimes hear "underpants" in the UK - it has a very slight extra veneer of formality/respectability, so a child might hear "underpants" from a teacher, or it would be more likely to appear on shop packaging (I think)

"nice one" in the States is used sarcastically 96% of the time

smooth move ferguson

I went with my husband to hire (rent) a tuxedo today and we asked for just the jacket and trousers (as opposed to shirt, bow-tie, pocket square, socks etc) and they said "so you'll just be needing the jacket and pants?" and I started sniggering, which is very stupid considering I've been living in the USA for nearly 2 years.

I didn't realise till I moved here that Americans don't really say e.g. "half two" as a time. It's two-thirty and they seemed to get confused by half two.

Yeh, I used to be a sort of Anglophile, and I think I'm still a bit more knowledgeable of Britspeak than the average American, but "half two" would be confusing. Context would probably make it make sense, but I'd have to think about it.

Do you guys say "half past a monkey's ass (arse), quarter to his balls"?

A Scottish accent = Sean Connery

actually, i think about Groundskeeper Willie more than I do about James Bond.

I had to ask my Irish friends if "half two" meant 2:30. I felt pretty stupid, but it makes as much sense for it to mean 1:30 as I see it.

That is what it means in German!

I always assumed ' half two' meant 1:30 too.

Down around these parts folks like to say 'Noon 30'

When Stephen King says "half of two" what does he mean?

'half two' is just short for half past two.
idk about Stephen King

yeah I know 'half two' but I don't know what SK means

Do you guys say "half past a monkey's ass (arse), quarter to his balls"?

― Jesse, Saturday, May 28, 2011 10:18 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark

Well?

What's up with the word "bloody"? I've been reading books and watching Stuff set in England and people seem to consider it a real curse word (especially in the middle of the century and before?). I always thought it was a kind of silly "minced oath" like "darn."

Definitely stronger than darn.

xp I think it used to be the former but has evolved into the latter? (as the country becomes more irreligious I guess?) I think it can also be used to kind of 'signify' proper swearing in tv shows that can't have ppl dropping f-bombs as they go out during the day or whatever

They still don't say 'bloody' on Coronation Street, afaik? It's still all "flaming Nora" etc.

Curiously, yes, I think it's still frowned upon, can't imagine it being used on children's TV for instance.

bloody considered inoffensive till around the mid 18c, when it becomes unsayable for the self-regarding classes -- not sure if this is an industrial-revolution these-horrid-mobs-of-animals-in-the-cities thing or what.

After about 1750 the word assumed more profane connotations. Johnson (1755) already calls it "very vulgar", and the original Oxford English Dictionary article of 1888 comments the word is "now constantly in the mouths of the lowest classes, but by respectable people considered 'a horrid word', on par with obscene or profane language."

On the opening night of George Bernard Shaw's comedy Pygmalion in 1914, Mrs Patrick Campbell, in the role of Eliza Doolittle, created a sensation with the line "Walk! Not bloody likely!" and this led to a fad for using "Pygmalion" itself as a pseudo-oath, as in "Not Pygmalion likely",[5][6] and bloody was referred to as "the Shavian adjective" in polite society.

was always given the "by our lady" etymology by my mom (a mum-in-exile) but that's one of those things that sounds apocryphal even as you're told it.

anyway my contributions are brits say loads instead of lots and think "massive" is an appropriate intensifier for literally any object or phenomenon.

whereas damn/goddamn you could repeat incessantly on a show for 4-year-olds & nobody here would bat an eyelid, but it's treated as a mild swearword in the states xp

was always given the "by our lady" etymology by my mom (a mum-in-exile) but that's one of those things that sounds apocryphal even as you're told it.

I always thought that it was a contraction of "God's blood"? but this seems to be disputed:

A popularly reported theory suggested euphemistic derivation from the phrase by Our Lady. This possibility was discussed disapprovingly by Eric Partridge (1933). The contracted form by'r Lady is common in Shakespeare's plays around the turn of the 17th century, and interestingly Jonathan Swift about 100 years later writes both "it grows by'r Lady cold" and "it was bloody hot walking to-day"[2] suggesting that bloody and by'r Lady had become exchangeable generic intensifiers. However, Partridge describes the supposed derivation of bloody as a further contraction of by'r lady as "phonetically implausible". According to Rawson's dictionary of Euphemisms (1995), attempts to derive bloody from minced oaths for "by our lady" or "God's blood" are based on the attempt to explain the word's extraordinary shock power in the 18th to 19th centuries, but they disregard that the earliest records of the word as an intensifier in the 17th to early 18th century do not reflect any taboo or profanity. It seems more likely, according to Rawson, that the taboo against the word arose secondarily, perhaps because of an association with menstruation.[3]

back when dinosaurs roamed the earth but I got the full "wait 'til I tell your dad what you just said" treatment from my mum for saying "damn" aged 12! (It was p. mild but we all ooooohed when we wound the RE teacher up into saying it)

aged 8 my school playground was full of kids saying "fuck this" and everything was "shit" but I was shocked when I met kids from the posher school who said "damn", which I suppose I thought was ruder because my parents had never told me never to say "shit" or "fuck"

Kids' TV-friendly equivalent for "bloody" = "bleedin'"

another tiny one along the loads/lots line is bit/part -- "the bit with", "the part where"

americans also don't use the unmodified noun forms of the excrement words as adjectives -- things are shitty and crappy, not shit and crap. dunno if this applies to anything beyond poo(p).

Piece of piss

The now-quaint, but once-blasphemous oath 'zounds' derived directly from 'by god's wounds', and referred to the various wounds inflicted upon Jesus during his crucifixion. It seems plausible that the taboo status of 'bloody' originated as a sidebar to that blasphemy, but equally plausible that its taboo status arose from being connected to profane menstrual blood not from blaspheming god's sacred blood.

I got the full "wait 'til I tell your dad what you just said" treatment from my mum for saying "damn"

According to legend, for many decades after their first contact with white men the natives of the Pacific Northwest called them 'goddamns', because this word peppered their utterances so frequently.

"zounds" is classic. I can't explain why, but I find it very amusing.

It might have been 70's DC Thomson comics that introduced me to "zounds".

In some movie a parent chides their kid for saying "blimey," which means (God) blind me!

It's strange that religious swearing never really became taboo in the US since we have a zealotry problem here. Though in the South "goddamn" is still very not-done.

My FB memory today was a post asking who told me that in Britain there is an expensive tax on window screens that makes them too expensive for a lot of people to mess with. Is this a thing?

The window screen tax was not nearly as bad as the old British poll tax, which made it too expensive for a lot of people to have a head.

you're american.

is this real and how does it work?

Kidding aside, I have read of archaic taxes on the number of windows in a residence, as a form of luxury tax back when window glass was an expensive novelty. I've never heard of a tax on window screens.

Looks like there was a snopes board thread on this a while back. The original poster had a friend return from a three year stay in England with a story about her cat escaping because the windows didn't have screens because maybe there was a tax? General consensus in the replies seems to be that the U.K. traditionally just doesn't do screens. A quick look at the window screen wiki says that it was invented in the us and is mostly used in Canada, Australia and the US. I guess it just didn't catch on in countries a lot older than ours?

Anyway, snopes:
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=next_topic;f=80;t=000693;go=older

We have a much more limited need for open windows.

i had to Google to see what a window screen is

i think it's just something we almost never use, altho i notice one brave UK company trying to make them happen

doubt if they've ever been taxed, it would be pointless taxing something that nobody ever has

i was also gonna add Shari's point but i'm trying to think summery thoughts

Do you think you have fewer bugs or a greater tolerance for them? Certainly you just have fewer mosquitoes, which make screens a necessity in a lot of the U.S.

The UK definitely has fewer bugs/insects (another difference there I feel btw) than the USA - the only insect attack you're likely to get from an open window is when a moth flies in during the summer. Likewise, bushes in the USA (particularly the south) always seem to be alive with creepy things, but British bushes are almost always silent.

the only insect attack you're likely to get from an open window is when a moth flies in during the summer.

Wasps. The occasional big bumbling fuck off bluebottle. Otherwise LOL @ the idea of the UK having the same numbers of invasive insects as the US.

Are waves coming in your windows?

France also doesn't do window screens which is CRAZY because there are fucking MILLIONS OF MOSQUITOS EVERYWHERE and nobody has AC fml

Had a few HUGE bees fly in in recent Summers. Would probably get screens if I owned a place.

re France yes, have stayed in rural houses where the number of flies coming through the windows have rivaled e.g. summer life in the upper peninsula of Michigan; and yet, no screens. we have no screens in Paris either but I'm not sure any insects live here (my son saw an ant in a park this weekend & was amazed)

I have been a bit tempted by the idea of screens over the past few summers but changed my mind when I saw the price.

We don't have many mosquitoes in the UK and midges IME are mostly content to hover in clouds above grassland outside rather than coming in, but every summer there is always one mosquito which makes its way into my room and keeps me awake and sweating under pulled-tight bedclothes listening to its whine. Apart from that there are moths and some tiny flies I can't even name but they really like well-lit ceilings - not dangerous but annoying to get tons of in every evening.

(I have an uplighter and nowhere to put it except by the window; moths love to incinerate themselves in it if I leave it on with the window open, and the smell of toasted moth is not a good one)

Every year we get tons of ladybirds (hey American chums that's what we call ladybugs!) but they are not really a scourge. It can get annoying, when there are lots of them, but they're easy enough to put outdoors.

My situation's p much the same as passing spacecadet (poor moths). If it's the price keeping you back, this is what I use during the summer:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/69/c2/7f69c248745d25331c4f560f67180c87.jpg

I take them down again in October or something. Ten bucks for some velcro and a roll of screen mesh and you're good to go.

We've got screens, and hell, we still can't open the windows here in the American Mid-South.

http://i.imgur.com/k3NjHsa.gif

Every year we get tons of ladybirds (hey American chums that's what we call ladybugs!) but they are not really a scourge.

The worst is when those ladybirds get in your garden.

http://i.imgur.com/hTmPjUM.jpg

Is that woman called ladybird is that the joke

Well, calling her Lady Dog would've been just too cruel.

Ladybird was the name of the dog in... Was it King Of The Hill? I forgot Americans call them Ladybugs. I guess we don't use the word 'bugs' all that much in general. Sometimes.

I got loads of mosquito bites the other night (in March in the UK, I know) but I'm pretty sure it's because my neighbour (neighbor) has a big canister full of rainwater stood (standing) in his back garden (yard).

Today I learned that Britishes think insects are birds.

We do get evil little bastards called Midges here

Ten bucks for some velcro and a roll of screen mesh and you're good to go.

Aha. Brilliant. Had been considering rigging something up but not really thought about what.

Yes, standing water is a bastard for mosquitoes. My parents had a barrel collecting rainwater and it was always full of mosquito larvae. I don't remember them getting into the house much but maybe they were getting into someone else's...

We do get evil little bastards called Midges here

Yes, but out in the countryside where nobody lives.

orly

you get them anywhere there's water or trees. As soon as dusk comes along in the summer the wee bastards appear

We do get evil little bastards called Midges here

Yes, but out in the countryside where nobody lives.

― Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Monday, March 13, 2017 8:53 AM (nineteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

also i don't remember ever being in a dwelling where midges actually come in en masse. they stay outside.

and that includes spending many summers in a caravan on loch lomond

also i don't remember ever being in a dwelling where midges actually come in en masse.

That's the stuff of nightmares tbh.

run to the car, open the door, jump inside, shut the door, scrabble at your face and hair

also i don't remember ever being in a dwelling where midges actually come in en masse.

That's the stuff of nightmares tbh.

― Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Monday, March 13, 2017 9:24 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is what actually happens in north america from what i understand (no personal experience as southern b.c. not really affected by this sort of thing in the summer), if you don't close your doors and windows etc. and i think it's not midges but little black flies that they tend to have (in canada anyway) that can literally bite lumps off you :/

yes that is life in the upper peninsula of Michigan in the summer. BIG black flies that eat human flesh, no-see-ums (is this what britishes call midges?), regular flies, mosquitos some years. absolute savagery.

& I grew up in Florida where you can seal your house and still wake up with two-inch long roaches climbing up your legs.

now when my mom visits us in France she wants to bring screens with her because she can't believe that it's not like that here.

I got attacked by a swarm of wasps last summer and still get the heebies thinking of that moment when I realised I had a carpet of wasps down my legs and back all stinging the fuck out of me. The upside was that they weren't Giant Asian Hornets, but it is fair to say I couldn't sit in comfort for days. My kid with autism came off a lot worse than me because he pulled his pants down and was getting stung all over his bare legs.

midges are worse than no-seeums. they swarm and bite.

UP of Michigan native here; Euler otm

Calzino that is the stuff of my nightmares

wtf "no-see-ums"? do you mean gnats?

tiny little blackflies basically

or, sandflies

well now that i'm reading the wiki entry i think what i called no-see-ums were maybe not the real deal

midges are worse than no-seeums. they swarm and bite.

Highland midges are vicious little bastards.

they're like a fucking horror movie

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-37185160

D:

christ, what a bunch of assholes

I grew up in a wetland swamp in northern Minnesota and every evening in summer our window screens looked a lot like this

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DwKLvEdE3Fc/maxresdefault.jpg

And every night before bed, we went on a mosquito hunt with a flyswatter. After which, we had to clean up the little dots of blood on the walls.

My SIL's family made a game of having the kids hide under blankets while the parents blasted the whole house with Raid....

my mum called no-seeums THRIPS (which may be local = shropshire or yorkshire where she grew up) (or less likely welwyn where she also grew up a bit)

ladybirds (and their amazing dragonish babies) are great at eating aphids

i have sash windows open most of the year -- i've been woken by snow drifting against my neck before now -- and the worst of insect intrusion i get is the occasional sleepy winter wasp and a few fruit flies in summer if i don't police the fruit bowl for rot. you see do midges swarming of london water, like the series of reservoirs going up to tottenham, like great writhing ghostly columns of smoke… but they don't seem to move from there much