My roommate puts nothing natural or unprocessed into her body.

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OK I have to really share this somehow.

Things in my refridgerator (none of them mine), a list:

1) cheetos
2) wonder bread
3) those hostess cupcakes thingies with the twinkie filling
4) ragu (technically natural but jesus wtf)
5) doritos
6) fanta
7) crystal lite
8) strawberry jelly (not jam, not preserves...when I purchased PRESERVES to replace the used up jar she just went and bought her own disgusting jelly)
9) cap'n crunch

A) who the fuck refridgerates half of these things?
B) HOW DO YOU LIVE?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

keep in mind she totally freaked out to her friend one time because I ran out of real sugar and only had Splenda for their coffee.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

this sounds exactly like my roommate's diet. he also goes to the gym maybe once every other week and uses creatine afterward. what a douchebag.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

oh for crying out fucking loud, I hadn't heard about the splenda bitching. I mean I'd bitch if there wasn't any real sugar too but you know what I'd do it ON THE WAY TO THE STORE TO BUY MY OWN DAMN SUGAR. Fuck that stupid cunt.

xpost Haha Mr. Kitty seems like a fucking awesome roommate comparatively even if he does occasionally wake me up in the middle of the night by biting my face.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i swear to god my sister lived on nothing but triscuits and cheese her first few weeks at college. her reasoning was "you have to understand, i'm on a very tight budget". wtf girl. potato soup and pimento chz sandwiches would make sense or oh yeah ramen fucking noodles but triscuits and cheese? that ain't cost efficient dining!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

refigerating shit that ain't supposed to be refrigerated maintains freshness some think. or maybe she just likes shit cold.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

CHIPS IN THE FRIDGE OMG WTF

― I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (deangulberry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i hate roommates

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

This woman is only a few years from 30. She is not your typical college roommate. She should know better than refridgerating fucking cheetos (or eating them, for that matter).

It's seriously freaking me out right now!!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't heard a comment about the Splenda since I let "slip" I'm hypoglycemic.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

ALLY YOU'RE LIVING WITH BRITNEY SPEARS?!?!?

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

This guy I knew in college ate like nothing but cheese pringles and drank nothing but water fountain/tap water for about a month, apparently, even though he was on the campus meal plan and lived in the dorms. He went to the doctor with bleeding gums, cracking cuticles and pasty, flaking skin and was diagnosed with scurvy. They sent him home with instructions to drink a bottle of orange juice. Exasperating son of a bitch.

Here's his website. Be sure to check out the poetry.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

BETH AND I ARE PREGNANT!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahahahahahaha scurvy dude is always funny.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

you should empty her jelly and scoop jam or preserves into it.

fwiw, my roomate is stoned in his room with his girlfriend whom he will not dump for some reason, even though he has lost most all of his friends because they can't stand to be around her and they fight all the time...

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh fuck, the moron is reproducing now. For God's sake.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

my roommate's room smells like some kind of tank of marijuana, sexing, and not showering. once i commented on it when one of his 90 million girlfriends was here. later he said it was rude of me to say his room smells in front of her. i wonder if she didn't notice. also he likes not changing his sheets at all, even though he sleeps with one million ladies each week. wtfffffffffffff

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that website...

My Favorite Actresses

Winona Ryder - Beetlejuice
Uma Thurman - Gattaca
Christina Ricci - The Addams Family
Juliette Lewis - Natural Born Killers
Drew Barrymore - Home Fries
Natasha Lyonne - Slums of Beverly Hills
Morisa Tomai - Untamed Heart
Andie MacDowell - Groundhog Day
Sigourney Weaver - Alien
Sandra Bullock - While You Were Sleeping

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

my roommate

http://img99.exs.cx/img99/5765/aint-1.jpg

http://www.townhall.com/acimgs/webimages/silver-dress.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

JIMMY LET'S TRADE OUR ROOMMATES TO EACH OTHER AND YOU LIVE HERE OK

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

That is possibly the worst hybrid of a human being I can imagine.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

imagine it having kids with Damon Albarn then

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew a girl in college who was on an all-cheese diet, something she was "trying out" in an attempt to lose weight.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

lose weight via developing kidney stones, hmm.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

dude wtf does Damon Albarn have to do with this. She's dating someone who was on SURVIV0R I believe I've said enough here now.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I think her plan was:

1) Eat cheese constantly
2) Die of heart attack at 33
3) Weight loss begins

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

my roommate once declared that he had stopped eating baked potatoes because there are too much carbs. he replaced them in his diet with oreos. he writes songs about being sad and wanting to go to california. he plays guitar and sings to get girls to have sex with him. when he sings it sounds like someone singing around a campfire.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG YR ROOMMATE IS OWEN WILSON IN STARSKY & HUTCH

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

What would be worse, mating with Damon Albarn or a former Survivor contestant? That's a tough call.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/ss1065.gif

― fauxhemian (fauxhemian), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Damon Albarn was hot, once. Also "He Thought Of Cars" was a good song.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

PAHAHA: http://www.bethnbaer.com/baer/ring/ring.htm

Wait until this guy tracks his referrals (and you know he will) and sees this thread and thinks ... "aww tom doesn't like me.."

― I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (deangulberry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm glad I live alone too so nobody will criticize my eating habits on an internet message board.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

there's something really disturbing about Ann Coulter's armpit in that picture.

― shookout (shookout), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it is attached to Ann Coulter.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

That's actually a pretty ok picture of Ann Coulter, I thought.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

And yes, Sam, it's best to live alone, that way you don't go from having a really friendly relationship with some of your neighbors and building management devolve into people avoiding your apartment (including occasional maintenance issues) because of how rude your roommate is, and you don't develop a roach problem due to their unusual frying oil disposal habits, or have someone really inexplicably bitch at every single person you've brought over the house. It's really a lot better, you're totally right.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Hold on a sec...this guy proposed to his wife by MAKING A WEB PAGE?

Suddenly, I feel like getting far far away from my computer. All computers.

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

go get some cheese pringles and a glass of tap water, you'll feel better

dude also DID NOT SHAVE HIS FACE ONCE EVER until he was about 20, I think. This is not to say he had not been growing any facial hair. No. not the case. He just didn't shave.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

and you don't develop a roach problem due to their unusual frying oil disposal habits

I must know this story now.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

...and yet I'm still clicking.

http://www.bethnbaer.com/wedding/wedding.htm

They had their wedding reception at the SUNSPHERE!!! Actually, that's kinda cool, especially if all the wigs are still there.

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Thursday, 2 December 2004 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

omg ba3r bradf0rd = myself to a T. including the getting sick from cheese pringles + water diet.

i don't think i've eaten anything natural or unprocessed since i was a pre-teen. i am permanently anemic, look it, and am undoubtedly rapidly developing diabetes.

― John (jdahlem), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh fuck, the moron is reproducing now. For God's sake.

The cool thing is that all his children will be hydrogenated and all be the same shape! No greasy residue!

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I have had roommates who adopted pets without asking and secretly grew pot plants in closets causing the electric bill to spike $300 in a month.

And there was my NYC roommate who got down on her hands and knees and Pledged our kitchen floor.

I live alone for a reason.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:02 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost, john, try a vegetable?

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a roommate who, after 2 days, rearranged my ENTIRE KITCHEN CUPBOARDS. Seriously - moved crockery, pans, food, EVERYTHING was somewhere it wasnt the day previous. It was like some kind of prank. She said she was bored. WTF!?

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The guy lives about 15 minutes away from my hometown. Shit, I drove through Kingsport to get home. So I have now come to the chilling realization that DURING THANKSGIVING WEEKEND I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF BAER WILLIAM BRADFORD.

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

actually i take that back, i've recently started eating apples like a fiend. i guess all the sugar + crunchy goodness makes them a tolerable snackfood. but yeah, i'm not very healthy. but i'm glad i don't have a roommate.

― John (jdahlem), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

what else could go in a refrigerator? silverware? paper towels? toothpaste?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

but then you still have weird neighbors.

My kitchen sink started overflowing with crap for no reason this past t-day weekend (thank fucking GOD i decided to stay home for it.) So I call my landlord, he comes with his plumber friend, and he knocks on my upstairs neighbor to ask if he can come inside and do something really quickly to fix the clog. Turns out she's CLEARLY there (her footsteps are easy to hear from my living room), but she's pretending to not be there, because she owes several months of rent... but she's not willing to let the plumber in -- to fix a clog that could affect the entire apartment kitchen pipe network INCLUDING HER OWN FUCKING SINK. So he has to spend 90 minutes in my sink running some grindingly hard instruments to unclog from the bottom up.. making my apartment sounds like a Survival Research Laboratories performance. On top of that, she USES THE SINK KNOWING THERE'S A PLUMBER IN MY APARTMENT WORKING ON THE PIPES AT THE TIME, delaying fixing the issue, and only making the landlord and I better buddies than before in our contempt for Deadbeat Mom upstairs.

I now officially hate my upstairs neighbor. If I find out she's leaving cheetos in the refrigerator, I'm going to start a national awareness program called RPWRAE: Remove People Who Refrigerate Artificial Edibles.

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 2 December 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think ALL things from the kitchen should start going in the refridgerator.

The frying oil story: the girl apparently decided that, instead of like dumping oil she fried things in, like plaintains or bits of meat, and cleaning the pot, she would instead hide the pot in the stove for interminable amounts of time. The first couple times I saw this, I figured she was planning on reusing the oil later that day or the next (not unheard of though personally I'll stay away from that with a ten foot pole). But no. She would leave the pot in there for like a week or two at a time. Which started attracting roaches. I had no idea what the cause of the roaches were, only that A) I didn't have them before she moved in and B) they were ONLY in the kitchen, and mostly concentrated on the stove or the cabinets immediately adjacent to the stove. It was really bizarro. Until I opened the stove and realized the pot was back in there. And FULL OF ROACHES. So I cleaned it out, thinking ugh gross but just like the roaches got into the stove because they came in for some other, unknown reason and found this. The roach problem seems to be getting better, now. Again, I don't associate these two things in my head, because I'm an idiot. Then the roaches are coming back. SURE ENOUGH THE FUCKING POT IS BACK IN THERE FOR WEEKS!! The same pot, the same nasty oil, I never see her take it out and reuse it (in fact, one time I'm pretty sure I saw her take it out and DUMP THE OIL and refill it so I'm confused). I have no idea what she's doing.

So in the meanwhile she's taken to bitching about everything Tom does at all, because her boyfriend is an ass and they were having troubles and I guess this is like a sign I shouldn't have a boyfriend either or something? She leaves me this nasty note about this literally microscopic bit of tomato sauce that Tom spilt bitching about how this tried up splotch is the source of the roaches and my boyfriend blah blah blah. So I swing open the stove and GUESS WHAT IS STILL THERE. It was literally there long enough that some of the oil hardened to the side of the pot. I have since HIDDEN this pot (all of the things in the kitchen are mine, btw) and, guess what? Haven't seen a roach since.

FIN.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I still to this day have not figured out why she kept hiding the pot of dirty oil and not just cleaning it. This was the end of our speaking relationship, basically.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm confused.. is Hiding Dirty Oil girl the same as Refrigerate Cheetos woman? or is Hiding Dirty Oil girl the same as Single White Female girl?

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I've had lots of weird roommates, the present one definitely included, but the one weirdest guy, who was also the drummer in the last band I was in, decided to turn the heat off in our house to make it more like when he lived in Oxford with his girlfriend he'd been obsessing over. He'd yell at us with misty breath about how they don't have central heating in England and that we should just get used to it. IT WAS FUCKING DECEMBER IN CANADA. Anus. He also liked going on and on about how much Ribena he drank when he was over there.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

this is clearly why yer roomie is a right-wingnut.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

My worst roommate was a fundamentalist Christian Korean lacrosse player who regularly spit into the garbage can. Spit smells after a while, in case you were wondering. He was a nice enough guy. It was really just the spitting that bothered me.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, at least it was in the bin and not on the floor right?

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(he also luvvvved Amy Grant. but i thought that was kind of cute)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a kleptomaniac roommate... living with another roommate with a large CD collection. Never underestimate the sentiment of wishing death upon a former roommate. I'll gladly take Oxford Obsessed Anus and Dirty Oil Roach girl over Klepto Sociopath anyday.

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:40 (twenty-one years ago)

It was my brother who stole from me: money, clothes, CDs to sell, stereo equipment, whatever he could think of. It was one of the things that led me to move out of my parents' place even though I couldn't really afford to. One time I inadvertently got my brother back when he snuck into my room when I was sleeping to take one of my t-shirts off the floor. Yes, it was soaked in jizz and pussy juice from when my girlfriend had been over the night before and since my room was dark he didn't notice.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

too tired to read the whole thread, but just wait, you guys are gonna end up getting married and then think about what kinda crazy things you're gonna have to deal with as "roommates" that you just can't move out from.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

but you can move into.

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 2 December 2004 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

There are people here who aren't married?

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 2 December 2004 08:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess sex does make having to buy bottled water even if you have a brita ok

xpost

― JaXoN (JasonD), Thursday, 2 December 2004 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a nasty feeling that I am THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD to have nice housemates.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 2 December 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread confirms my worst fears about humanity. I AM NEVER BEFRIENDING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING EVER AGAIN.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 2 December 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

My new rommate is "vegan". His food:

-doritos
-orange crush
-tofu ice cream

Haha!

He also went out of town for 4 days and gave the house key to his friend to take care of his cat & dog- without asking. Then the friend flaked off and I ended up having to deal with walking the dog & cleaning up rug shits. I should shove them out the door and just say "they escaped" when he gets back. Except they're nice animals, so maybe I'll just threaten to.

― seedy poops in the woods (Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

This is sad but now I'm really curious as to which former Survivor contest this weirdo is dating.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Can't you just put the pets in his room until he gets back?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Does never having had a bad roommate automatically mean that YOU are the bad roommate?

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i have been wondering/worrying the same...

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh dear . . . I hadn't thought of that. I'd best ask tonight.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Jaxon is OTM. And i've been meaning to bring up the damn bottled water from my car for two weeks.

the only bad roomates i ever had were in college. the first two were super hippies and i moved out.

second roomate was a Dream Theatre fan, non-drinker and wore a bathrobe most of the time. He also played guitar....but only dream theatre. He was an amazing guitarist, but a weirdo. I used to wake him up in the middle of the night so he could reach into the desk and gets me rubbers to bang my gf.

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

No wonder he listened to Dream Theater.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

My weirdest housemate, L30n4rd, was teched with just a little of the old OCD. A rabid atheist, to the point of religious nuttery, he listened exclusively to techno, and his closet was filled with nothing but identical white button-down, short-sleeve shirts and black dockers. EVERY weekday, upon arriving home from his job manning a technical support line, he would microwave a plate of frozen fish sticks, pour himself four fingers of scotch, and devote the rest of the evening to a video of either A) Leslie Nielsen Naked Gun movies; B) James Bond movies; or C) porn. Last I heard, he was still a virgin.

― briania (briania), Thursday, 2 December 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's his website. Be sure to check out the poetry.

I'm speechless. And barfing. And laughing. All of this is happening in my mouth at the same time and I'm having trouble breathing.

When we first met: June 20th 1998
When we started dating: June 21st 1998
When we met in person: June 25th 1998

Classic.

When we went to a Halloween Party: Oct. 30th 1998

Informative.

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 2 December 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that website killed a part of my eye.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still wodnering if roomie has a plastic boyfriend.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"I think that website killed a part of my eye." The Beanie babies. Oh god, I'm so sorry TOMBOT.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still wodnering if roomie has a plastic boyfriend.

Don't most girls?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

He was never my roommate, though. Thank fucking god.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Allyzay, I'd have slammed that filthy bitch in the face with the roach-filled oil-crusted frying pan. Or, at the very least, left it on her bed to come home to. Seriously, I can't fucking tolerate filth or bad smells or infestation.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Especially infestation.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I had my fill of roaches living in the Bronx. Fucking things are spawned from Satan's asshole, I swear to god.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously Ally, you should tell her that the next time she leaves a pot of anything in the stove for weeks on end it's going to end up underneath her pillow. Then you should just start putting all of your trash in her bedroom. Finally, nail her bedroom door shut and put a gigantic "CONDEMNED" sticker on it; maybe she'll move.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Leon, check yr email for the answer to yr question.

It's really not so horrible, I mean it could be worse, it could be Single White Female again though at least she was pretty amusing with the soup-throwing-out-the-window and her constant drunkenness and failed attempts to pick up on Otis.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG THE ATTEMPTS TO PICK UP OTIS!!!!!! I only saw one but it was very amusing!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i had a flatmate who ran up a £600 phone bill in one month on phone sex lines. he made all the calls at around 4 am when i was asleep. when i looked at the itemised bill one call lasted 90+ minutes!!!! i didn't know whether to be appalled or impressed with his, er, stamina.
i moved out pretty sharpish though.

― DJ Salinger (joni), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I imagine I could top anyone's bad roomate stories. We're talking ex-convicts fresh out of prison. Unfathomably disgusting hippies. Robitussin addicts. People so trashy that they were impressed with the fact that I owned furniture. I have about four years worth of stories.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

whats wrong with strawberry jelly?

― ke[hm, Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

What is "nature" anyway?

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My wife had a roommate who tried to kill her. Said roommate dipped my wife's toothbrush in Drano.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Jesus Christ.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, my former roommate was psycho but she never to kill me so Dan's wife wins...

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The best part is that MY WIFE got into trouble when she complained to the senior tutor of her dorm about the situation. Shortly after my wife took her year sabbatical, that senior tutor was fired with the quickness.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF? How did that happen?

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah dude, I mean my roommates are just kind of funny stories. Draino on the toothbrush is like beyond anything. What did your wife do??

xpost ohhh.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah, this all happened because the previous year my wife made out ONCE with a guy that this roommate had a crush on, so she decided to befriend my wife, become her roommate and then MAKE HER PAY.

The issue with the senior tutor happened because the senior tutor hated my wife, so that when she went to complain that her roommate was unhinged, homicidal and attempting to drive her crazy, the senior tutor basically said, "Stop lying, you spoiled prude; you're just mad that she's having sex." Never mind that said sex always occurred in MY WIFE'S BED which was in a DIFFERENT BEDROOM. This woman was also taking my wife's clothes out of her drawers, walking on them in muddy shoes, then putting them back in the drawers.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay... now why did the senior tutor hate her?

― The boobs previously known as Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really know; she never figured it out and all of this happened before I met her. If I had to venture a guess it would be because she needed more emotional support than the average student and the senior tutor resented being leaned against even though that was pretty much her job in a nutshell.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has made me homicidal.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

STAY AWAY FROM TEH TOOTHBRUSHESES

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my! Get away from my toothbrush, you!

bah xpost

― The boobs previously known as Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I once knew a borderline psychotic girl who hated her roommate so much that she cleaned a toilet with her toothbrush. She also tried to pull me in the aftermath of a house party one night. I happened to be lying on the ground when she started her 'we should date' soliloquoy, so I did the rational thing and pretended I was passed out. I woke up the next morning on the couch with another girl who was known for being psycho girl's doppelganger, only about a million times cooler. I dated von doppelganger for two and a half years, and I haven't heard from PG since.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan, I have to ask -- what kept your wife from beating the shit out of her roommate?

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still friends with my roommate from college, but she did some weird things. For starters, she was in charge of the college recycling group, which is great, but when the college refused to recycle newspapers for a while, she went around campus collecting all the papers from the bins and BROUGHT THEM TO OUR ROOM. Seriously, half of our tiny room was piles and piles of newspapers. Talk about a fire hazard. Also, she left dirty tissues everywhere, even on my bed. But I am very forgiving person I guess.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan, I have to ask -- what kept your wife from beating the shit out of her roommate?

Size. My wife is very short and not that great with physical confrontation.

HOWEVER, she had a circle of friends who apparently rolled on this girl and beat the living hell out of her, then organized a social boycott of her for the remainder of her senior year.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

social boycott! yeah.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Thursday, 2 December 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Three years after this nonsense, a girl in another dorm who had been denied permission to move out of her dorm room away from her psychotic roommate was stabbed to death (41 times) by said psychotic roommate, who then hanged herself in the bathroom. It was later discovered that she'd been telling random people for years that she heard voices telling her to stab people but no one in a position to do something about it really thought she was serious.

The scary thing was how few students were actually shocked by the massive failure in the school's support system, largely because it was non-existent.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan, did your wife go to school at the Overlook Hotel by chance?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 2 December 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahahaha! Sometimes it felt like it!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I read this 'My roommate puts nothing natural or unprocessed into her body' and thought immediately, 'so SHE'S the one fucking Michael Jackson.'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

And then I realized I must have mistaken crack for my allergy pill this morning, because we all know Michael Jackson doesn't have a penis.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

psychotic roommate was stabbed to death (41 times) by said psychotic roommate, who then hanged herself in the bathroom.

I take back the homicidal comment. *shivers*

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fucking Dunster. It just SITS there." --my roommate W.W.

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently it sits there and STEWS. Dunster is like that person in your 15-person seminar who spends the entire three-hour period staring at another classmate without blinking, only with small rooms instead of body odor.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

my roommate W.W.

Wiggles Worth?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Willy Wonka!

― The boobs previously known as Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

very depressing
but Harvard's best salad bar
and HOT HIPPIE CHICKS*

*NB: I graduated in 1988, so this might have not been true anymore by the time you got there, Dan. Also, graffiti in the girls' can said that Harry Chomsky (yes, Noam's son) was the cutest boy in the house, which tells you A LOT about the house as he was far from being a studmuffin.

HAHA NOT WIGGLESWORTH (although my wife was in that dorm freshman year and someone printed t-shirts saying "we get our wigglesworth")

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The early-to-mid 90s weren't the best for ol' Hahvahd; my senior year had another murder-suicide amongst alumni (actually a couple that my wife had set up, yikes) and four other suicides in addition to the infamous Dunster murder-suicide (the other horrifying detail there is that the girl who was killed had a friend visiting with her who was sharing the bed with her that night and woke up to see psycho roommate stabbing her friend and she screamed and screamed and screamed for help and no one did anything).

Of course, no one knew that M I T had similar issues until several years later when a girl set herself on fire.

xpost: My class had the last vestiges of the Dunster hippies, I think; we were down to non-ordered choice and the class three years behind us were completely randomized once you picked your blocking group. It was very odd being around campus after graduation and seeing the houses with high concentrations of African-American students become Kirkland and Adams.

I wanted to make a house t-shirt that was the word "HO" in a red circle with a line through it but it was deemed to be in poor taste.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(I apologize for ruining this thread with horror.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

My roommate / landlord is a saint, especially in these lights. I'm cleaning the kitchen tonight in his honor (& my own, actually, since I'm actually going to use the stove - don't tell him that, tho). Thoughts, prayers, & cleaning supplies go out to those that want / need 'em.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 2 December 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Granted, my roommate also had a diet consisting of fried chicken products, pasta, ham, (extra) cheese, and (extra) mayonnaise for about 5+ years, but that's HP not MP, plus I'm the dipshitty roommate in this situation, so WTFever. OK.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 2 December 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

If you share a bathroom, that was YP too.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Separate. Yippee.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 2 December 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

NPs there.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 2 December 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a very interesting article by Mary Gaitskill about what I think is one of the murders Dan refers to (actually a review of a book about it).

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a very interesting article by Mary Gaitskill, Satan goes to Harvard, about what I think is one of the murders Dan refers to (actually a review of a book about it).

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes.

Another fun fact: a friend of mine was at a party with ST the night before the murder/suicide and was trying as hard as he could to take her home but she kept brushing him off with the excuse "Sorry, I have something important I have to take care of tomorrow."

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

(Here are some reflections on the other murder/suicide, which happened in CA.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm too lazy to read most of this thread
but does someone need a good natural cock in the mouth?

― LORD OF ALL THINGS HOMOELECTRONIC (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahahahaha Thanks for bringing us back on track, W!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm always willing to do my duty by choking some stupid cunt on my penis!

― LORD OF ALL THINGS HOMOELECTRONIC (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 2 December 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

can we go back to that dude tombot introduced us to? and his wife?

Update 11/9/04: Due to my pregnancy, I will be physically unable to breed the pugs till 2006. If this changes, I will update the Bonsai Pugs site.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I seriously went through that site on dialup and that shit is worth it!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Bonsai Pugs" makes me think of this.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Why would pregnancy make a person physically unable to breed pugs, exactly? HOW IS SHE BREEDING THE PUGS?

― Allyzay Needs Legs More (allyzay), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

SHE IS FUCKING TEH PUGS!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG WHEN SHE HAS TEH BABIE IT IS GONNA BE A PUG HUMAN

― Allyzay Needs Legs More (allyzay), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

she needs to talk to that lady who was breastfeeding the puppy

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF? Is that someone's roommate too?

― The boobs previously known as Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

FEED ME!

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Flats/5771/bpv/mugshot.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

you need to get yer roomie yer old job at millenium, ally. she'll fit right in i betcha.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:19 (twenty-one years ago)

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