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The Australian Open 2005

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Right, setting this up now in case anyone forgets and because I've been sat up listening to Chris Goldfinger and sweating on Elena Baltacha's qualifying match against Teryn Ashley, which everyone's favourite Scots-Ukranian Essex girl took 6-3 6-3. She's in the draw, as is foul-mouthed Bulgarian Sesil Karatantcheva and some other people. Lina Krasnoroutskaya lost, though, which was a minor shock.

I've completely forgotten about the main draw, but Actual Live Australians may well be knocking about to give their thoughts any time soon...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 15 January 2005 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm an actual live Australian and I live 1.6 kilometres from the stadium and I forgot it was on.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 15 January 2005 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I've decided I don't care about the men this year, 2005 I'm all about the hot girl-on-girl action. Ahem.

Lina Krasnoroutskaya lost, though, which was a minor shock.

Oh no! No Lina-K! And K-Lina hasn't been playing that well either! Anyway, given that everyone ever is injured or sick, I'd say this tournament belongs to (tosses coin) Sveta. Fairly easy draw, and all, and it's a toss-up, really. If Mazzy Shar couldn't beat Our Beloved Demented Diva, she can't take out Svetlana.

Davenport is lain low, but if she gets past Conchinta The Eater, she won't be tested for a bit, so if she starts, she's likely to do well.

Myskina is, frankly, useless. Any forehands she hits that go in appear to be purely accidental. She's lucky she has NOBODY GOOD IN HER PART OF THE DRAW, as with her form she's likely to frustrate Leftie Loit to death in round 2 rather than the other way around. When Lisa Raymond looks like the best chance of an upset, things are grim. Though I do think Lisa is lovely.

I wouldn't be surprised if Mauresmo goes out in the first round to Sammy The Stoat, who appears to have realised that her countrymen think of her as the girl on the Uncle Toby's ad and has decided to play like a dead-set genius (she was eerily Davenport-esque in the first set against Schnyder at the Gold Coast final, which was a bloody good match) to make people notice.

Molik (for whom trite nicknames seem too base right now) is playing brilliantly, her forehand right at the top of its powers and serving well. She SHOULD make the semis. I look forward to watching her club that crabby-looking "Weird Jel" Jankovic again in the second round.

Hulk Sr is coming off a final lost to The Diva and has a tricky draw. Shiau Peng could get her in round 2 if she's not careful. By contrast, Queen Rene has the easiest draw imaginable.

As for the men's draw, I predict Federer will win, all the potentially intriguing first round match-ups won't get shown, commentators will annoy me incessantly by parroting on about the fucking Davis Cup and saying Lleyton Hewitt should serve-volley more.

Also, Martina Navratilova won't appear in the commentary box enough. Her calling of the Molik/Peng match the other night was truly delightful - a) she said "BRING IT ON!" at one point, b) she said "Oy Vey!" at another, and c) She hated on the line judges constantly, but did it in a way that was quite hilarious.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 15 January 2005 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

'Martina Navratilova won't appear in the commentary box enough.'

Even more unfortunately John McEnroe won't appear at all.

I hope that has nothing to do with his, 'Plug that load of crap? Come on, you guys cannot be serious! That show is just the pits of the world!' performance this time last year, when Channel Brucie tried to get him to put in a good word for a new US import.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Saturday, 15 January 2005 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Typically, this is when my internet at home dies and I am reduced to haunting internet cafés to get the draws. OH MY GOD though: Sesil is playing Shaz in round one! It was with trash-talking against Maria that she first made her name last year - declaring her 'not charming, not charming' and vowing to 'kick her ass off' in this press conference. I love Sesil so much, and have been going off Maria post-Wimbledon in a syndrome remarkably reminiscent of indie kids going off their favourite obscure band when they go top 10. (Also, the other Russians hate Maria, and I like them better.) So, go Sesil!

Australians, why do so many of your girls only play well in Australia? I can count the number of matches Stosur has won outside of her home country in the past year on one hand, but she's been on fire recently - pushed Molik to 7-5 in the third t'other day. Wouldn't be surprised if Mauresmo went down to her either - even if Mesmo survives that she then has to get past Zheng (coming off her first title) or Little Miss Marat in round two; Ivanovic (coming off her first title), Kirilenko (nearly beat Serena at RG last year), Kapros (notorious Slam upset merchant) or Benesova (the 32 seed) in round three. This just to get to the FOURTH ROUND. Draw from hell.

I think Goddess Of Love will make it past Daniilidou and Peng, but Molik will beat her in round 4 barring a home choke.

Wouldn't be surprised if Sharapova lost to either Karatantcheva or Na Li before round 4. Na Li is the player I'm most curious about in the draw - former good junior, played intermittently and brilliantly for a while then disappeared for two years because of injuries, and not toeing the Chinese federation's line; made a comeback last year and won something like 40 matches in a row on the Challenger circuit and her first WTA title.

I have more faith in Lady Myss Kina than Edward. Who has a softer draw, her or Serena? The odd thing is, swap their projected quarter-finalists around and it's not so easy - Mauresmo always chokes against Serena, and the Demented Diva never even shows up against our favourite sexy space alien vampire. It should be noted that the Diva has not lost a match yet this year, though.

Men - it's all about Federer, still. The only thing which annoys me about this is that I won't be able to see it: Londoners with Eurosport, feel free to offer me permanent residence on your sofas this fortnight. In other news, Coria and Ferrero are due to meet in round three, which would be totally EEK if not for the fact that Ferrero last played well about two years ago.

Safin will lose very very early to pretty much anyone in his section: he's reverted to silly hippo mode this year. Stupid boy.

If the Dickhead lost in round one to Irakli Labadze, that'd make my tournament.

Ehhh... quarter-final predictions, I guess.

Federer v J Johansson (injury pending)
Haas v Moya
Nalbandian v Nadal
Henman v Roddick

Davenport v Molik
Myskina v Dementieva
Kuznetsova v N Li
S Williams v Mauresmo

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 15 January 2005 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with most of Lex's predictions for the women, except I don't think Na Li is ready yet, though I only saw brief snippets of her last semi-final loss and that wasn't enough to extrapolate anything. Hard to pick anyone out of that part of the draw. Has Sylvia Farina Elia EVER lived up to her seeding in a major, i.e. gotten to the quarters when seeded 8 or better (I think this has happened) or to the fourth round when 9-16? I say she's overdue. If Na Li beats Sharapova, she loses to Elia, just because the lady is, shall we say, due, and everyone needs a WTF prediction.

I've got a feeling Amelie will be gone before the quarters. Which at least means I won't feel compelled to post the lyrics to "Amelie" by Alizee again during her games.

So, why the hell not:

Davenport v Molik (the one I'd be most surprised if doesn't happen)
Myskina v Dementieva (Due to Dementieva's tougher draw and better form, she'll break the jinx)
Kuznetsova v Farina Elia
S Williams v Sugiyama

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 15 January 2005 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

As for the men, Paradorn Schrichapan has a HUGE following in Australia so hopefully one of the networks will show him defeat the carb-loaded but oh so filling and satisfying Potito Starace. Also, Yockem Sockem Johanssen (nickname only works vaguely if spoken, if at all) gets past Sjenga in round 1, he should repeat his delicious thwacking of Dent in round 4, and that'll be lovely, even if Lex says NAY to him.

Agassi... hmm.. if he'd overcome Henman in Kooyong, I'd be more optimistic, but no, I can't see it happening. What about Sargsian to do another deep run? Why not (barring some injury thing I don't know about).

As for the second quarter, I'm tipping Hrbaty, playing clearly the best tennis of his career and being enjoyably plucky to boot, to topple King Carlos. If... he gets past Robin Soderling, who could be good for an upset. The ever entertaining Huing Taik Lee won't give him any stick, sadly.

Hard to see Nalbandian going out too early. Hewitt could go either way. His new muscular arms still look pasted on, so alien! Also, those tie-dye, Hypercolour-esque Nike shirts he's wearing at the moment NEED TO GO ASAP, this goes for you too, Blake and Moya. Hideous, ugly things. I swear I'm not a one-eyed patriotic goon, but he's doing alright. Enough with the bloody double faults, though. Nadal has loads of potential, but I'm sure he's under an injury cloud too, isn't he? Coria will clean up until he gets beaten by Nalbandian, who showed what he does with his fellow Argentinians on non-clay services last week by making Gaston Gaudio look like a useless fly-by-night.

The fourth quarter does seem the most obvious. I never know what to think. While Roddick being out early makes the slam more watchable, the closer he gets and the more he can taste it makes his defeat ever more sweet, and Henman's as good as any to make it happen. Unless he plays in direct contradiction of his current form, which appears to be quite good.

Federer vs Sargsian
Hrbaty vs Ancic (well, we can dream, can't we? dreaming's all I do, if only they'd come true etc.)
Nalbandian v Hewitt
Henman v Roddick.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 15 January 2005 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

....starts in 15 mins. On Centre Court Serena Williams (neither the reigning chapion nor the top seed) kicks off proceedings against Camille Pin of the French nation (you are all invited to contribute your own witticisms re Camille's monicker) before the Rogermeister swings into action v another garlic-muncher, Fabrice 'The Fabricator' Santoro. Then it's Agassi's turn. (Doesn't happen often but Bud Collins, you were wrong!)

Tonight Sammy the Stoat (Stosur) takes on the Big A (Mauresmo). I suspect, unfortunately, that is exactly what Sam will have been given by midnight. She will have been preceded on court by fellow Oz and aspiring golf pro, Scott Draper, who has been given a hard downhill putt first-up in 13th seed Tommy Robredo.

Also featured today: Moya, Safin and more 'ovas' than Shane Warne has ever bowled in a day.

(PS: How can a bloke who last played sometime around 1983 (Haas) be seeded at all, let alone in the top-half?)

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Sunday, 16 January 2005 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Because Tommy Haas is the future, or at least he was about eight years ago.

Anyway - first seed out? I'm going for Gaudio, even if he is playing Justin Gimelstob.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 16 January 2005 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a few candidates.

I tend to look for the up-and-comer in outrageously good form (look out Molik!) or the slider. Into the latter category comes JCF, who has gone from top 10 to outside top 30 in twelve months. I'll plump for Juan-Carlos without even researching his opponent, a dutchman called van Gemerden.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

AND THEY'RE AWAY first break of serve goes to Kuznetsova nothing much else to report thus far...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

Serena fails Bootlace Tying 101, losing a shoe mid-point, causing a code warning and a replayed point.

She has a break-point.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

First seed to go out - well, The Diamond might be a solid bet actually. Him and Bobbysods are rattling through their first set, and it's the Swede who's a break up at present...

Meanwhile, Lex's new favourite Russian, Alina Jidkova, is 3-0 up on VRP, and the two Aussies on court at present have both started well - Cindy Watson's a break up and Peter Luczak is giving TJ a few collywobbles.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

SERENA'S SERVE IS BROKEN! She is already four games ahead of the Nice Girl, though. Elsewhere, Hrbaty breaks back and it's 4-4, Elena Balamory goes 3-2 up on Robotnik, and Kuznetsova edges ahead of Serena in their race for Most Rapid Crushing Of Feeble Humanoid Outside The Top 100 by blitzing Jessica "Ginger Stealth Bomber" Kirkland 6-1.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:40 (twenty years ago)

Apparently Mlle Pin is the SO of Lleyton's first 2005 appointment, Arnie Clements.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

Sets up thus far - Williams, Kuznetsova, Zuluaga, Baghdatis, Watson, VRP, Calleri, Ljubicic, Hrbaty (= I R HEX). Kuznetsova serving out to be first person into the next round.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

Match point Kuzzie...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:00 (twenty years ago)

And there she goes.

Wars of attrition breaking out all over - Bally-Sreb, Wang-Zib, TJ-Luczak all offering full value in the first set. Cammy And Her Magic Hairslides are putting up a bit of a fight, but you'd be surprised if it made much difference - she's serving to hold at 3-1 down.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

Elsewhere there's sets for Super Mario and sporadic qualifier Bjorn Phau (against Albert Costa on something that's not clay, to be fair), but it's all going a bit wrong for Aiiii - from 5-3 up she's suddenly 6-5 down against unspectacular Slovak Sucha, and serving to stay in the first set.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:06 (twenty years ago)

Baghdatis seems to be sending Luzzi's chances into the sky, with not a diamond to be seen.

Williams 20-13 in unforced errors, broken in both sets, cruising along in third gear. If Stose takes out the Big A as some are predicting, there is nobody particularly alarming between her and a semi-final spot.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

TJ and Lucky Lucz have gone to a tie-break which sees both players valiantly refusing to hold serve. Williams-Pin is just looking like a matter of time now, and annoyingly so is Hrbaty-Soderling, with Dom 5-2 up in the second.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:09 (twenty years ago)

TJ gets the first set against Luczak, largely on his better serving. Oh well, chin up, kiddo.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:11 (twenty years ago)

AIIIYEEEE! Sugiyama's the first seed to drop a set as Martina suchs up four games on the spin. Robotnik and Linetskaya clobber their way to one set leads too.

Serena's through with a fair old bit of ease. Hrbaty takes the second set.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:12 (twenty years ago)

Bjorn Phau? Mum Swedish, Dad Vietnamese maybe?

SW on second match point. The Pin gives her as a bit of a run-around on last point, but to no avail. 'The Entertainer' does her 'wave to the crowd' thing, exchanges banalities with the court announcer, and exits stage right. Her next match looks no harder than this one.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

Luzzi levels 6-3 with Baghdatis. Maybe I could have held back the 'sky with diamonds' line a bit longer.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

In the men's, Hrbaty is the First Of The Gang To (Quali)Fy after Bobbins retires injured. Ljubi Lju now two sets to the good, and shortly to be joined by Ancic.

Luczak's a break up, but Cinderella's suddenly getting cold slippers - Mirza breaks and holds to go 4-3 up in the second.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

Suddenly it's 5-3 and the Indian teen's serving for the second set...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:28 (twenty years ago)

Meanwhile Ali-J's recovered from her first-set flutters and races to take the second set 6-1, Mirza gets the second set, and it could well be goodbye-cova for Kurhajcova, as Linetskaya's 4-0 up on her.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

Federer 3-0 (one break) up in five minutes. San-toro!toro!toro! yet to win a point in 12.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

Strewth - Scoddy Draper's 4-1 up on Robredo! Bonza! (Roy & HG unavailable for comment)

Linetskaya wraps up Kurhajcova easily as Our 'lena squanders a three game advantage and Ai slips further towards oblivion.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:39 (twenty years ago)

MRS MANGEL! ALAN JONES! MIDNIGHT OIL! DO YOU HEAR ME, MIDNIGHT OIL! YOUR GIRL IS TAKING ONE HELL OF A BEATING! (i.e. Mirza's 4-0 up on Watson in the decider)

Ai's not finished yet - from 4-0 down back to 4-2, and viciously trading advantage on Sucha's serve. Fabby-O-La's through 6-3 7-5, Fedge strolls through the first set 6-1, Ljubo nearly there against Horna.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

Not all bad for the Aussies though - Luczak takes the second set off Tommy-Jo in what one can only presume is an utterly riveting contest...

Baghdatis 2-1 up on Luzzi in sets now.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:52 (twenty years ago)

Mirza and Ljubicic through (for those playing on wallcharts). Sucha gets a vital break and is serving out for the match. Baltacha extends hostilities to a deciding set, and Mirnyi-Calleri is one set apiece.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

Scoddy's taken the first set against Robredo! Santoro refusing to give up his serve without a fight against Federer.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

Root. I'm sorry for jinxing you, Ai.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

And our first seed out, surprisingly, is Ai Sugiyama - she broke Sucha's serve but then failed to hold hers and she's out 7-5 6-4.

Elsewhere Ancic-Hernandez is looking like a formality, and Luzzi and Baghdatis' yo-yo pattern of a match continues - having lost the previous set 6-1, the Italian's 3-1 up and serving in the fourth.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:04 (twenty years ago)

Yep, Mario's through in straight sets. Bartoli's skittling Schaul, and Jidkova's on the verge of doing for VRP.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

The first five-setter is Luzzi-Baghdatis, which has thus far gone 1-6 6-3 1-6 6-3, presumably just to be awkward. Distinct downturn in fortunes for the Aussie blokes, as Luczak and Draper both drop sets. Federer takes the second set 6-1 in slightly longer order than the first...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:31 (twenty years ago)

So Boom Crash Sugiyama has crashed, and Luzzi and the Butcher of Baghdatis are winding up for 2005's first five-set epic. Odds on their match outlasting the two on centre-court?

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

And while we weren't looking, Silvi took the first set 6-3 against Schruff. Phau and Calleri both two sets up.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

Elena Baltacha becomes the first British woman to get past the first round of a Grand Slam that's not Wimbledon since Jo Durie (probably), dispatching Srebotnik 6-4 in the third. Zib whitewashes YT Wang. Luczak making a game of it against TJ, Scoddy having less luck with Tommy. Groenefeld and Wessels a set up, Luzzi 2-1 up on Baghdatis, and Gaudio blows a 5-1 lead to go back to 5-5 in the first against Gobstopper.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:48 (twenty years ago)

Scruff is giving SFE a bit of a walloping in set 2. Clouds (Schaul) one game away from the bus to the airport.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

Bartoli through 6-1 6-3. Fedz is taking his time to splatter Fabz. Phau has a chance at straight-setting Albert.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

Peter Lucozade in trouble on serve v TJ: 4-4 15-40 up the Khyber.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

He swings back to take it 5-4, receiving to take it to a fifth set. Luzzi-Baghdatis continues to go on rather too long. Phau through, Groenefeld within touching distance of severing Severine.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:04 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah, and Federer's just won. Santa bagged a total of four games. All bets off, presumably.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:06 (twenty years ago)

Flavia Pennetta (any relation to Adriano?) a set up on Petra Mandula (no relation to Nelson).

Costa, the Ultimate Clay Court Hack, bows out again in straights. If he's ever on a tennis court, looks down and seens green stuff, his face seems to take on the same hue. Maybe the only was Bert the UCCH can save his career is to somehow chemically induce red-green color-blindness.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

Gas Huffer one set up on Gobstopper, Calleri-Mirnyi drags ever onwards into a deciding set, Sophie Ferguson is looking to make it 0 for 2 for the Sheilas, Luczak gets his bloody fifth set, Robredo lessens the chances of Scoddy getting his by taking the third 6-4.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

Bagheera and Silvia both through. Oh look, it's Bodan Ulihrach.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:15 (twenty years ago)

Groenefeld takes a bit longer than necessary to dispose of The Lovely Tram. Petra bites back against Flav - 4-0 up in the second.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:19 (twenty years ago)

SFE wakes up just in time to make sure she doesn't leave Australia with SFA. Galloping Gaston Gaudio, already a set up, has broken in the second set.

I first wrote Justin Gimelstob off as an irritating, tiresome, petulant, entitlement-addled streak of smelly brown Noo-Joysie medocrity so long ago I've well forgotten what first led me to that view.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:23 (twenty years ago)

Both Toms are looking pretty safe against their respective local-lad opponents now.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:29 (twenty years ago)

Pet manhandles her way to the second set, as Sophs comes dangerously close to getting a break on NLV...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:31 (twenty years ago)

Right, which finishes first - Calleri-Mirnyi or TJ-Luczak?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

Well, TJ has just had a massive, throbbing 6-0 set. SFE is making some ground on Nuria Llagostera Vives, whose name really looks like the lyrics to an O-Zone single.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:34 (twenty years ago)

Peter Wessels ends Chinese Taipei's interest in the tournament, straight-setting Yen-Tsun Lu. Shinobu hacks her way to a 5-4 lead over the Barnburna.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:36 (twenty years ago)

That name looked to me like some fool had accidentally typed it in backwards.

The double L thing I suppoose. I thought only the Welsh did that?There's one in the mens draw as well.

And well done Kepler.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:39 (twenty years ago)

Robredo finally through fairly comfortably against Scoddy. two Aussies left to play today - Stoat or Todders to save the whitewash, cos Fergie's facing to stay in...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:39 (twenty years ago)

And Calleri finally puts Mirnyi out of his misery, 6-4 in the fifth, after three hours and 19 minutes. THere's yer benchmark, Sargis.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:41 (twenty years ago)

Lady Sarah F looking at two match points, to continue a fairly crud-encrusted day for the Australians so far.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:45 (twenty years ago)

Set to the good for the two Japanese players, Robby Ginepri currently clobbering ex-junior starlet Gael "GO ON" Monfils.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

And Fergie pulls herself from the jaws of defeat to level the second at 5-5 and the crowd is presumably going wild!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:48 (twenty years ago)

And now Agassi is on, vs Dieter "I'll Be Your Mistress Tonight" Kindlmann, who is giving it up and letting Andre have his way. Note to people who decide the order of play: your court 1 patrons must be bored shitless.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:50 (twenty years ago)

Tie-break for Janko Tennis Raver, 6-5 S-Ferg and the world #83 doesn't know what's hit her!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

Gaudy-O two sets up in what's looking like an utter snoozer. Ginepri schooling Mon Fils, Dally ain't dallying to get shot of Ondraskova - 5-1 up and crusing.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

Na Li and Bo-Dan one set up, NLV & Fergatron go to tie-break...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:54 (twenty years ago)

Just seen some ack (that's short for 'actuality', of course) of the end of set 2 of GG v JG, and remembered why I took such an instant dislike to the Gimster: it's the permanent glazed-on Liam Gallagher scowl.

GG 2 sets up.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:56 (twenty years ago)

The match on Court 4 is 'Dolly v Susie'. I'm not even going to try to spell those names.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:57 (twenty years ago)

Mai Ai Hai! NLV just made two appalling errors and let Fergie back in.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 03:59 (twenty years ago)

Bizarrely taut match thus far - Steph Cohen-Aloro vs. Piercey. SCA breaks in the first game, now they're back and forthing in the second. This might turn into something...

Kindl's surprising - back to 5-4, Andre serving for the set. Suzuki two up on Gambill, Petra nearly there.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:01 (twenty years ago)

Seed 28 Shinobu Asagoe of Japan a set and a break up on a German whose name sounds exactly like, but isn't, 'Anne Cabana'.

Florent 'Ayrton' Serra serving for first set ve Taylor Dent (the half-Aussie), who might be a doubtful fitness proposition.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:02 (twenty years ago)

The Fergie vs Viva tiebreak is interesting, shifting dynamics and the like. NLV couldn't serve it out!

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

Mandula's through 3-6 6-1 6-3. Another break for SCA, Tipsy's a set up.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:05 (twenty years ago)

And Ferg-bot has it. Mai ai ha-ha!

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:05 (twenty years ago)

Gael's finding his feet a bit now. Gaudy-Gimmy still refuses to be in any way interesting. In the big Maggie-Magui face-off, the Bulgarian has the edge at present - 2-0 up and serving.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

Ayrton now serving to stay in set, at 6-5.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

Break out the ninja puns - Shinobu slices and dices Barna in straight sets.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:11 (twenty years ago)

Sophie Ferguson threatens to displace Sophie Monk as my favourite Australian woman called Sophie as she breaks NLV, who seems to hit more smashes beyond the baseline than inside it.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:14 (twenty years ago)

Time for Piercey to pull her socks up - 5-2 down now against the world #115...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:19 (twenty years ago)

Dolly is playing with Susie: set and 4-0. Dent won first set v Ayrton without going to a tiebreaker and is on top in the second.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:23 (twenty years ago)

Big Gae El comes back in style to snatch the second set 6-3. Gas-Ton takes out Jus-Tin in straight sets. SCA wraps up the first set...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

HT Lee's won a set! Gloria is pushing Na all the way, and the Ferganaut's broken NVL again to lead 3-2... and Karlovic-Ulihrach is going with serve. No, I'm just as stunned as you, really.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:29 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and Randriantefy (SMELL THE TYPING) won 6-1 6-1.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:29 (twenty years ago)

In fact, Gloria's done more than pushed her, she's taken the second set 6-4 and Lex's dark horse is dangerously close to unseating its rider at the first...

Takao Suzuki straight-sets JM Gambill to get past the first round at a slam for the first time in his career. Agz starting to ease away.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, that should read SECOND time in his career. Dentuss two sets up.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

Moya away v Garcia-Lopez. (Would that be the Spanish equivalent of Smith v Jones-Brown?) Dent now two sets up on Serra. Monfils edging ahead of Rob 'Ringo' Ginepri.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:36 (twenty years ago)

While one light of a distant day, Mary Pierce, hangs on for grim death, another, Thomas Enqvist, makes a bright start against Michael Tabara (one Tabaret, two Tabara?) with a break and a fair way towards another in five games.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

And with that, GGL pulls it back to 5-5, then serves out for 6-5. MP still can't get it together, Kindlmann pulls a break out of nowhere to prolong the second set a tiny bit more, and Fergie's perilously close to letting it all slip away again...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

Fergface, who seems to have better luck receiving, will now serve it out.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

Maggie continues to lay pwnage to Magui, 5-1 up in the second. JTR and Bracciali have their second tie-break of the match. Iv-O vs. Bo-Dan will be continuing for the foreseeable future.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:48 (twenty years ago)

NLV just made a possibly rude hand gesture as a line call didn't go her way... well, it looked rude.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

And Sophie gets it. Presumably she'll get wiped next round if she keeps doing those annoying loopy shots dead near the service line, which basically are the equivalent of a gigantic neon sign flashing "HIT ME CROSSCOURT".

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:51 (twenty years ago)

And Bulgaria has at least one second-round representative, Maleeva Club Juniors through double quick style. Meanwhile, Moya's blown the first set, Monfils is close to slamming the door in the Robster's face, and Sargis Sargsian is taking bloody ages. Again.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 04:53 (twenty years ago)

Stephers is serving out for the biggest scalp of her career, Monfils takes the third set, Aggers through in straight sets, and Na Li goes a break up in the decider.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:01 (twenty years ago)

And the second seed to go is indeed Big Magsy - 6-2 6-2, and Maria Sharapova's part of the draw just got a lot more open.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

Another derby match that might be heading for a shock is Garcia-Lopez vs. Moya - GGL took the first set 7-5 and is 3-1 up and serving in the second.

Juan "Real Name, Honest" Monaco deals Mardy Fish out of the first set 6-2, Domachowska teaches Miss Ting Li 6-1.

And on court 3 now - POTITO! He's held his first service game and everything!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:10 (twenty years ago)

And broken Paradorn, to boot, actually dominating from the baseline.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

Dent and Na both through fairly comfortably in the end.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:16 (twenty years ago)

Chuffin' 'eck, the Pot is BOILING - 5-0 up in no time at all! Elsewhere, Roofrach goes 2-1 up on Karlovv, VT's having a slightly sour time of it against Liu, and Fish and Ting are both busy exacting revenge on their first set tormentors.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:23 (twenty years ago)

Paradorn gets on the board, amazingly. 1-5! Outstanding, Potito is on fire.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:24 (twenty years ago)

Score the first set for the Starman! Vera's finally got through her opening stanza with minor cuts and bruises, and G-Mo G-L is now two sets up on Carlos M. Sargis Sargsian is continuing to take ages.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

And while all that was happening Michal Tabara's levelled his match with TNQ at one set all, and Fish does similar to Monaco. Sjenga and JJ are being suitably rugged and tense, and Tipsarevic and Bracciali are still waiting for one or the other to blink.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:34 (twenty years ago)

If Vinegar Tits gets thru Liu (which seems increasingly likely) her next opponent could be Vera Douchevina.

Hmmm, Vera squared. VTs vs the DB.

Another DB, Danny Broccolli, is still going point for point v Tipsy, and Rainer Schuttler, who was Andre's cannon fodder two years ago, has just kicked off v Olivier Patience. The Card Game is so far matching him, 3-3 in the first.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:45 (twenty years ago)

Tipsy blinked - Bracciali races away with the third set 6-3. Monfils serves for it against Ginny, Ulihrach almost there too.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:47 (twenty years ago)

Actually no, Gael's already through. Verageddon looks a slightly distant prospect - Douchey Dou's 4-0 against Penny Crayon. Chip Pan getting to grips with the Waffler, 4-2 up in the second. Spanish Charlie poised to take the third set.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:50 (twenty years ago)

Zvonnie, Bo-Dan and... Marta Domachowska all through. Rova savaging Razza, JJ-Schalks and Patience-Scuttler both go to first-set tie-breaks.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 05:59 (twenty years ago)

VTs through, Vera the Bag has a break point to keep the set alive but needs that and another to level, Mick 'Two Pub Tabs' a whisker away from going 2-1 up v Thomas N. Quist.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 06:04 (twenty years ago)

Early break has Tito 3-1 up in the third. Janko finally kicks into top gear and looks to be putting Bracciali away any minute now, JJ & Rainy take their tie-breaks, Kev Kim two sets to one up on HT.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 06:10 (twenty years ago)

GG-L serving for 4th set and match. Bert the UCCH will at least have company on the plane home.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 06:41 (twenty years ago)

Rova minces Razzie 6-1 6-2, and Moya's the first of the men's seeds to go. Kev Kim's through, JJ's two sets to the good on Sjenga. Douchie's mounting a comeback on Crayola, Potsie's serving to stay in the third set, Sanchez is trying to hurry Sargis along a bit, and Karrie Beck's doing his level best to put out another Aussie in the form of Todd Reid.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 06:52 (twenty years ago)

I've noticed Sargasian and Sanchez seem to have been playing ever since about Friday. What the hell is the story there?

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 06:56 (twenty years ago)

Y'can't rush Sargis. Even if you're 2-1 up on him. Scuttler two sets up and looking good against Patience, Pan 2-1 up but a break down on Starchy, Craybas has in all probability blown her shot at the Douche, Fish and Monaco going to war in the decider, Chladkova and Talaja is predictably taut with Denisa having the edge at present, Benesova handling her foe pretty well, and Sharapova attempting to give Sesil lesson in stroppy-blonde-teenery. Best match at the moment either Fish-Monaco or Brandi-Dulko.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 07:06 (twenty years ago)

JJ straight-sets Schalken. 24-Karat Sesil breaks Shari then gets broken back for her troubles. Dulko finally downs Brandi, Starchers squandering leads left right and centre, Nieminen is close to pulling level against Sanguinetti.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

And Scuttler's through. THat was quick.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 07:21 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear. there goes Starchy, out 6-4 in the fourth. Chladkova overcomes Talaja, Sargis manages to squeeze another set out, and Beck's victory over Reid is looking fairly inevitable now.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 07:36 (twenty years ago)

It's on BBC 5 Live Sports Xtra at the moment, DAB fans.

― Puddin'Head Miller (PJ Miller), Monday, 17 January 2005 09:22 (twenty years ago)

Stose roaring back on the Big A after being audience for most of the first set, breaks to 2-1 in the second.

Meanwhile the Player Called Malisse is in a bit of a Jam, a set down against the Comeback Kid. Three Toms have won so far today, with only Enqvist spoiling the sequence, and Haas looks like making it 4 at this stage.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 09:41 (twenty years ago)

...and bang goes Stose's break. 3-all.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 17 January 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

Sweet baby Jesus, you chaps (I'm looking particularly at YOU, WBS) need to pace yourselves. It's the first round, people! Good stuff, all the same.

On court right now: Safin a double-break up, Malisse about to serve to stay in it vs Haas, Rochus on the verge of taking Kiefer all the way, Kapros m-p down vs Kirilenko...and she's gone.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 17 January 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

If Stosur wants to ever beat a top 10 player, she needs to remember that first serves are good, and thus, it is good to get them in occasionally.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 17 January 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

Ach, I am weak. I looked at the screen, it said 'Elena Baltacha: 39 Unforced Errors', and lo, I was gone. What time is it? Urgh. Not doing that again. No, seriously. Not.

Are they still bloody going?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

Oh god, Sargis is in the next round.

Rochus Superior surely home and dry quite soon. Marat attempting to get Dirty Djok out of the way before last orders.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 January 2005 11:18 (twenty years ago)

This thread is better than LSD.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 17 January 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

It's TUESDAY. Rusedski is fifteen-all and 0-1 vs Bjorkman, the rest of the scoreboard is pure binary. I'm off to bed, over to the easterners.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 00:22 (twenty years ago)

Righto - I'm going to go to bed this evening as well, but for the benefit of anyone who was trying to follow what the hell was happening yesterday via this thread, A Potted Summary:

Three big upsets - Carlos Moya (5th seed) lost to Guillermo Garcia-Lopez, Mary Pierce (24th seed) got a big-time humbling off Stephanie Cohen-Aloro, and Ai Sugiyama (16th seed) was out-hustled by Martina Sucha. Three other seeds went out - Nic Kiefer (#21) to Ollie Rochus, Flavia Pennetta (#30) to Petra Mandula and Iveta Benesova (#32) to Ana Ivanovic.

The home nation had a torrid time, with Sophie Ferguson the only Aussie thus far to have made it to the second round. She gets to face Nadia Petrova for her trouble.

Federer lost a total of four games to Fabrice Santoro and so the men's draw is looking altogether a bit predictable.

Oh, and Potito's out :(

For some reason, today's play sees lots of Aussies against lots of Argentinians. Pick of the day's ties will probably be Florian Mayer and James Blake, who are last on on court #3.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 00:45 (twenty years ago)

The Australians will be along in a minute, probably, but for now there's sets in the bag for Coria, Chela, Bjorko, (There's Something Wrong With Her - She's A) Koukalova, Almagro, Hernych and Historic Verdasco.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah, and Mickah Youzhny's very close to being two sets up on Hapless Haehnel.

And now, bedtime. Advance Australians fair, etc.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

Russia and Belgium - It's WAR! (sort of)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

I read this thread in the internet café this afternoon and wept (metaphorically) that I couldn't partake in its delights... but now I am somehow back online at home, all is well with the world again.

In tennis-related news, the first and thus far only Day 2 winner is Kooky Lover, who's tu good for Miss Tu, tu the tune of 6-3 6-3. (Sorry.)

Re: the DRUGS WAR, the story as I have gleaned over the past few days is - this Eerdekens chap is something of an attention-seeker, who declared a few days ago that one of four players who took part in that exhibition last month failed a drugs test. He also said that although he couldn't name the player, it conveniently wasn't Henin-Hardenne, and that the player had been suffering from a cold (which Kuznetsova had admitted at the time) - then he named her after two days anyway, which is utterly disgraceful handling of such a sensitive issue. I think Kuznetsova herself said she'd been tested 11 times last year in proper WTA events by proper WTA testers, and been found clean each time.

Ooh, super-kid Nicole Vaidisova has come back from a set and a break down to Ventolin and now leads 3-2 in the second set... Coria, Youzhny, Verdasco and Canas all two sets up and appear to be cruising... Daniela the Former Anorexic is heading for a tight third-set tussle against Mpaperfolding, to no one's surprise... Wine Garden one game away from defeat to Tax Breaks...

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

i like tennis. but, right now, there federer, and there is everyone else. gotta love him, though. :)

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

that should read: "there is federer." hehe.

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

Molik a break up already v Funky Cold Medina. Gucciguccigoonie brave but outclassed by Canas.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't Larry Scott responsible for an early 70s musical monstrosity called 'Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep'?

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

While nobody would say Molik vs F.C. Medina is close, there was an astoundingly bad line call on a game point. Sack the linespeople.

Dani (with one I) got through Mpaperfolding in the third.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 02:44 (twenty years ago)

Molik breaks in the second as Funky Cold gats hotter and hotter under the collar.

Medina may be the '33 seed' but if Molik makes nearly as many errors against any of the other 31 seeded ahead of FCM, or a few others besides, she wouldn't be looking at a set+break lead, at least not from that side of the scoreboard.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:03 (twenty years ago)

In other news, the supremely irritating Greg Rusedski has beaten Jonas Bjorkman.

Roddick awaits.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:08 (twenty years ago)

Well, I think Alicia didn't play as well as she could, but it's a good sign that she's starting to go for the backhand down-the-line, which isn't her strongest shot - and getting it occasionally. She will need that against the Goddess On A Mountaintop - she shouldn't have any troubles with Weird Jel, though.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:23 (twenty years ago)

(Oh, she gets it 6-1 6-3 on a Garrigues double-fault, though not as spectacular a double fault in the first set as the one that went the wrong direction and nearly went outside the opposite sideline!)

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:24 (twenty years ago)

Er, not as spectacular a double fault as the one in the first set that went wrong...

Oh, breaking news announcement on Channel Bruce says Latham's to resign. First Alicia wins and now this. Must be a red-letter day...

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

One of the commentators on Fox is the delightful Miss Rachel McQuillan, who never really did anything (third round of one slam, Wimbledon? Or was that Michelle Jaggard who did that? Ah, so many memories) but sounds really cute.

K-Lina will now pulverise a hapless but nice-looking Australian Slav (truly God's chosen people twice over) called Adamczak.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

The 'Head beat the Craig Stadtler of Tennis, Irakle Labadze, and will go on to play the supremely irritating Greg Rusedski on Thursday. (I can't refer to GR without putting the SI in front any more than the late great Spiuke Milligan could mention the Warsaw Concerto without the prefix 'bloody awful'. But I digress...)

Was this part of the draw tennis's equivalent of the golf 'prick pairing'?

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:54 (twenty years ago)

Was it the 2003 Aussie Open where every other men's match seemed to be a gruelling recovery from two sets down? It's (almost) happening again: Lisnard takes Marach from a 5-7 5-7 deficit, Gonzalez hangs in vs Asasuso despite only drawing a pair of threes at the start and... damn, I thought there was another one. Bandy struggled but not from oh-two.

Begob, there's me bus...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:34 (twenty years ago)

Well, it was a very good day to be a seed indeed, unless you were Vince Spadea (#19) in which case you got unceremoniously dumperised by the Ruddy Step-ladder in five sets. MOTD turned out to be Bolton-Portsmouth, as Blakey decommissioned the Florist for the loss of three games in total, and for our purposes JCF is a sod for getting rid of Melle Van Gemerden. So much potential...

...as there was for Capucine Rousseau, till she went and lost in three sets to Perebiynis. All the seeds went through, though there was the odd surprise - Mighty Meg gets Speared, Loit was Obziliterated after a 24-point tie-break, and the Krajicekette got through with extreme handiness too. Also, limp-wristed red-headed Myskina-conqueror Anna Chakvetadze is still lurking in the draw and might yet get a rematch with the Lady in the quarters. Assuming she gets by Ver Diva and a couple of others.

Oh, and Hewie and Clem are still out on court. Lleyts looks to be heading for a very comfortable win, 4-1 up and serving.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

He wraps it up with the minimum of fuss.

i've also realised - all the Brits made the second round. Crikey.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

All the Russians made the second round too... all 15 women (!) and 4 men. All the Spanish women are out - oh dear, oh dear.

Damn, and we didn't even get to make any highbrow political philosophy jokes about Ms Rousseau being forced to be free &c.

I love this article about the DRUGS SCANDAL - the Demented Diva being a total, well, diva ("You have no idea what I have been through these last few days", distinct lack of support for Kuznetsova), and Molik being a complete sweetie.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

It does seem good that no action will be taken. I BELIEVE YOU SVETA! Well done, WTA, and boo to Belgian guy, whose name I have forgotten.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I noticed that Bloody-Shovela had kissed the dirt.

Re Hewitt: I have raved before about the new improved turbo-charged big-serving net-rushing Lleyts after he's murdered well-regarded first round opposition before. By the second Monday the old, plodding, 35% first-serving at 180, tethered-to-the-sideline-judge's-chair, has usually made an unfortunate return and been outclassed.

So all I say Lleyts is, nice start. But watch out for the next bloke, that Blake bloke, who also had a good win today and would like nothing more than to "po' cap i' yo' ass" after one of your more memorable Nike-in-mouth efforts.

Lleyt will be joined in Round 2 by a completely unkown compatriot in Nathan Healey. Hopefully young Nate will turn out to be an Austin and not a Denis.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

If young Healey (who won his R1 game on walkover after winning the third set after being thrashed in the first two) gets past 'Alka Melzer', his next opponent will come from the 'prick foursome' I alluded to earlier: the SIGR or Roddles, in slightly ascending order of likelihood.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

I've seen Nathan Healey before, he's nothing to write home about. Hopefully Hewitt and Blake won't turn up wearing the same shirt. One is bad enough.

(Blake, with the shaved head and the headband, looks like a baby ape who has been shaved. Not a good look. Grow some [sensible] hair, or lose the band, James, and you will be easy on the eyes).

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

'Hopefully Hewitt and Blake won't turn up wearing the same shirt.'

Yeah, Garry wilkinson and Fred Stolle need some way of telling them apart.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

I wish the commentators would have a crack at pronouncing people's names correctly. It's not that fucking hard.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

Actually, the commentators in this country LOVE Blake. My sister calls it "asexual man love".

This woman who does the news on Sky UK pronounced Svetlana Kuznetsova's name without the Z, and called Alicia Molik "Ale-the-a Molik", a working example of the Reverse Vengaboys Effect.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

Agh I completely failed to link to the article I said I would. Here it is - http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=HS4FI1ILKYCIACRBAEOCFFA?type=tennisNews&storyID=7352837

Ahaha the gripes about the Aussie media return. Lovely.

I'd just like to say at this point that I'm very happy about Marta Domachowska winning her first Slam match! She's been playing at the Cardiff challenger for a few years now, and when I lived there I always used to watch her matches. She's pretty talented, and a charming young lady, and it's nice to see her hit the big time. She'll never have to go back to Cardiff now!

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

My sister calls it "asexual man love".

as opposed to Patrick McEnroe talking about Roddick, which is 'creepy, obsessive and very likely sexual man love'.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

I notice the ABC commentators are trying to 'hold' their call so they're less than half a shot ahead of the TV pics, and during long rallies like the Hewitt game tonight they can pace themselves so the TV 'keeps up'.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

If you must have sexual man love, HAVE IT FOR SOMEONE HOT, Patrick.

Also: Lex, do you not agree that Roger looks MUCH BETTER now someone (presumably his girlfriend) has got him to move the headband and cut the hair? It's now possible to believe that he's related to that heartbreakingly gorgeous sister of his...

The ABC commentary is OK, but funny to listen to. Because people in Queensland don't get the night session live, it's essential listening.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

Speaking of hot, Hewitt's dead buff inn'he? Shame about the face.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

'This woman who does the news on Sky UK pronounced Svetlana Kuznetsova's name without the Z, and called Alicia Molik "Ale-the-a Molik", a working example of the Reverse Vengaboys Effect.'

It'th a good thing Pete Thamprath wathn't playing Thomath Johanththen or Mark Phillipouthith.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

Yes! Fed almost looks good, now. But then, given the cardinal rule that no man ever looks good with long hair or ponytails, ever, any shearing of the hair would've been good.

Hewitt is newly really buff, yes! And yet he still looks like a 12-yr-old.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

The arms look pasted on. It's really disconcerting to watch! I'm too rusted on to do anything other than cheer him on, mind.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure how good buffing up is as a Fed-beating strategy though; power certainly didn't help Roddick last year. Then again I'm not sure just what a good Fed-beating strategy might be.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt looks solarium-tanned too. Perhaps that orange bird of his got him into personal beauty.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

Next he'll have an '80s perm and collagen lips.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt has a new bird? So soon after the Clidgesplit?! What a playa.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

It's Bec Cartwright from Home and Away, if you didn't know.

Bec is also known here for winning a celebrity dance competition, and for putting out the worst ever single released by a soapie star ("All Seats Taken", truly horrendous stuff).

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

Apparently Tammin Sursok's new single gives it some pretty stiff competition in the Unbearably Shithouse stakes.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

The new Heewitt SO is an actbot from Home and Away, which of course is a Channel 7 show. Most likely here would be breach of contract ramifications otherwise.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Tammin is rubbish but "All Seats Taken" takes the biscuit. And I'm usually MORE than partial to pop records made by soap stars.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Ah fair enough. I manage to avoid all that wankery.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Home and Away!

I used to watch that religiously when I was 9.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Play about to start. The match to watch, I reckon, if you can, will be Fabulous Fabi vs Anna-Lena Groenfeld, who from now on I shall call Lena GR, because YOU WILL HEAR MORE OF HER, OH YES.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

Oh my god, Little Miss Marat is 4-0 up on Mesmo!

Meanwhile, first sets are in the proverbial bag for the Grumpy Cod, Casper the Friendly Ghost and Gnarly.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

In the Vera Squared showdown, it's D who gets set one over Z...

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

Safina is playing SO BLOODY WELL it's scary. Mauresmo can't do anything right.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

And there's the set for the Safinette!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

Haaaaas and Red Rob and KevKim all a set up. Bepa took a 3-1 second set lead over VD which promptly evaporated into 3-4; I assume the tears are flooding Show Court 3 as I type.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

Egyptian-money-a was down a break against Mezzo, but she got it back. Well done.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

ANd in the first singles result of the day, the wes' coas' (Evgenia Linetskaya) is back fo' all you SUCHAAAAAS 6-0 6-2.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

The Big Zed Machine is the fifth women's seed to go, 6-3 6-3 by way of Douche-out!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

And Gnarly finally closes out Shinobu Dragon Ninja 6-3 6-4.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

Oh no. Oh no, Dinara, that's not it.

Mauresmo's nerves may be questionable, but lucky for her, this match is likely to be decided on who handles the heat better, and Safinette is looking awfully botherd and fatigued.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

GGL two sets down to His Royal Kimness, GG one-set all with the Minnesota playboy.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

AND I AM GOING TO BED. DAMMIT.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Me too: I need to play tennis tomorrow morning, and my computer is actually wheezing at me. Night all, and GOOD LUCK DINARA!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

Well, you're going to bed with Melee and Dinah nearly at 1 set apiece. Enough with the bloody deuces, ladeez.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 01:38 (twenty years ago)

OMG! Tom-Tom club was up two sets to love over the Slovakian Hotness, but then cramped toward the end of the fourth set, and Beck got him in five.

Mauresmo only dropped one game after losing that first set, consarnit, Serena barely raised a sweat against Rand(riantefy) McDally, Fish had nothing left in the tank after taking the first set over the Gaudy Gasman.

Sergeant Sargs broke F.Lo in the first game, and Kuzzer is whomping John Wayne Bartoli. Bartoli does have the coolest shoes of anyone at the tournament, as they are colour-coordinated with her rainbow striped outfit.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 04:07 (twenty years ago)

Sharapova vs Lindsay Lee-Waters. Absolute classic match. 4-6 6-0 6-3 but that's deceiving. Our favourite Mills & Boon heroine (who was as determined to win this match as a real M&Ber, and made some of the same noises when she hit the ball as one) was clearly the better player in the first set, got to 30 in nearly every Sharapova service game and held her serve much more easily.

The second set looks like a wipeout, but it wasn't. Every game was tense, she squandered a few game points, and if things had been a little different, she could have won perhaps 4 of those 6 games.

The third set, god. Down 2-5 00-30 on her serve, she pulled it out. She nearly broke Sharapova at 3-5 but couldn't manage it. She was ripping amazing backhand returns but she could never quite contrive the killer shot. It was gripping, and someone is going to have to have a word with Maria about her grunting as it was getting to ridiculous Seles or 13-year-old Kournikova levels. I've got a headache just from listening to her escalating grunts.

Overseas types, pray your network replays this, it was BRILLIANT.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 06:19 (twenty years ago)

And just as I was about to say how enjoyable Molik/Kuznetsova vs Dechy/Loit was, Sveta starts playing really badly. No caviare for you tonight, Sveta. MUST TRY HARDER. Alicia continues to serve brilliantly.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 07:32 (twenty years ago)

So me and Lex were talking about whether or not anyone could do anything about Federer, and I suggest that maybe this tournament is where Paradorn steps up. Lex says he's not sure Paradorn will ever step up...

Pan-Pan (#27) goes and gets straight-setted by Nieminen. Ljub (#22) also finds himself squeezed out by Baghsie.

All the other seeds that weren't already mentioned (i.e. that aren't Tommy Haas (#16)) got through, Agassi with stunning ease against Scutty, TJ with immense drudgery against Calleri. GGL did for Moya then hit a Kim-shaped wall, Monfils' heroics obviously no match for Rochus Superior.

Elsewhere, the not-entirely-probable progress of Silvia continues, Maggie M tussles past Jidkova, Zulu (#17) goes fighting and gets clocked by Groenie, Mirza and Ivanovic progress with surprisingly little struggle, Smokey sinks the Ironchlad, Bally glasses Stephs, and Serena has little trouble dispatching Dally Randriantefy Of Madagascar.

AND IN REAL LIFE: Ferguson at parity with Rover, Jo-Jo and Kep going with serve...

And another seed's bit the dust - Dulko (#29) TKO'd by Maria Diaz-Oliva.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 09:03 (twenty years ago)

Fergie's a break up! Jo-Jo takes his first set 6-3.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 09:12 (twenty years ago)

Fergie goes to a set up! After a final service game that was a massive struggle that I didn't see because, no, they can't pre-empt Home and a FUCKING Way for Sophie. Arseholes.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 09:33 (twenty years ago)

Petrova is now in control, though. Up 5-0, only pausing her juggernaut-esque run due to a piece of bread falling on the court.

That's right, A PIECE OF BREAD!

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 09:50 (twenty years ago)

Well, it looks like it's all over now - Rover transformed from 'average family hatchback' to 'BEWARE OF GUARD DOG', 5-1 up and serving out for the decider. JJ has a bit more work to do - 4-3 up and serving in the third though.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

Elena, I kiss you.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

The Duchess takes a bow - flickered briefly, but extinguished 4-6 6-0 6-1. JJ serving out for it.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

AA is in some form, dodgy hip notwithstanding. May his descent onto the soft eiderdown of the Champions Tour be forever delayed. I don't whether his margin of victory is an indication that he's good as he was when he pummled Fassbinder in the 2003 final or a sign that Shoey is now hurtling down the bell curve of his mid-career hump.

I'm looking forward to Federer's match this morning if only for the sheer number of Can puns we'll be doling out for his opponent. I expect the match will be Soon Over (Babaluma).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

Right, JJ's through in straight sets too... and that appears to be that for the day. Presumably Fed-Suz is being shoehorned into tomorrow's schedule. Damn that pesky Ferguson and her 'putting up a fight' thing.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

Oh, beg pardon, they've just started.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

I was gonna say... it's only 8:45pm in Melbourne, isn't it?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:44 (twenty years ago)

Nope, 9:44 apparently. Seems a little late, but they've got floodlights, so that should be OK. Fed holds his first service game. There's a shock.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:46 (twenty years ago)

And Suzuki's broken Fedz's serve! Halleluhwah!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

(RF broke straight back when Damo spooned a volley* over the baseline).

* - I have no idea whether this happened or not. It sounds plausible.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

First set Roger 6-3 after that little blip. I think Suz may have started to spray the ball around a bit.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 11:19 (twenty years ago)

Fed's now up 6-3 6-4, but the Beeb reckons that the Swift is really pushing him all the way...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

And it's all over 6-3 6-4 6-4 - perhaps Fed's rise won't be completely unstoppable this time...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

I was in a meeting for 90 minutes (or LiverpoolFACuprun in the new derived SI unit) so missed most of Roger's gerad-Einstellung of The Superbike. I guess Suz has got great future days ahead of him though I was hoping he'd have kept him out there until at least half past one. I want(ed) more. (Even the Forth Bridge is groaning).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

I find it strange that I love Federer's dominance, I normally get tired of dominant players really quickly.

I played tennis today! Such fun. My serve was utter suck, though, and the first three points I played were double faults, all into the net. I don't think I reached game point in any of my servie games. I've never actually been properly taught how to serve, so every time I play after a break it's bizarre and fucked-up in a brand new way: today, my toss was a cross between Martinez's and Dementieva's. I hit some nice angled backhands and passing shots though!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

Day 4 underway v.v. shortly - kickin' off with a very intriguing tie in the shape Filthy Mikh-Mikh vs. Ickle Waffy Nadal, plus some other slightly tricky calls in the form of the Ass Cannery's trip to Historic Verdasco as well as Everybody Loves Raymond and Ready Steady Kouk's battle for ratings. Massu's got K-Schreiber, The Princess attempts to subjugate Tzipi, Pavel faces 70's throwback Bobby Joe Reynolds (I dunno that his middle name is actually Joe, I'm just kind of assuming), Vonie gets to pass time until her inevitable fourth-round exit by having a bit of a knock-up with Perebiynis, Spears attempts to embarass Hot Pantz, and the two words that fill any tennis fan's heart with joy - MID-RANKING CZECH MEN FACE-OFF. Stepaerobik vs. Hernia.

Rest of the day's a mix of tough calls, squashes and chances to assess up-and-comers such as the Krajicekette and Vaidisova, but today seems to be all about Rod Laver Court - the opener's a very tight call indeed, then it gets followed by Shuai Peng's possible upsetting of Shocking Blue, and closes out with Blakey vs. Hewey.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:22 (twenty years ago)

Shuai Peng is good, but her elite rep is almost entirely based on beating a tanking Myskina and injured Petrova. Venus may be shit relative to her heyday, but she's not that bad.

Christ, Short Shorts is a break down to Toxic Abigail. gah.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:26 (twenty years ago)

Lots of people are attempting to hold serve. Most of them are failing. However, Lisa Raymond ain't one of them - 5-0 up already on Klara.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

OK, make that 6-0 and the first set, with Koukalova failing to take a single point on her serve in the last game.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

Mondo Raymondo has played three sets so far, and dropped one game. I fear for Nastya. Eek.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

So you should - 2 service games thus far and she's not held either of them = Tzipi races into 3-1 lead...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:40 (twenty years ago)

Though Tzipi's not having much of a time with her service either - she's only held 1 from 3, so it's back to 3-2. Schiavone 5-1 down against the Tatty Pleb.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:43 (twenty years ago)

OMG Perebiynis!

She was a super-good junior years ago, but totally lost her way when she tried to break the seniors... maybe now she is finally making good! Come on Tatiana! Fulfil that talent!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

(Kooky Lover yet to win a game, oh dear oh dear, 0-6 0-4 down)

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

Oh, ho, the Is-a-rel-ite ah... still can't hold serve. Nastya up 5-3.

Klara's continually getting to break point or game point... and then falling short. She's not taken a game yet and Raymond's receiving for the match.

The other seeds are having a horrid time of it - while Canas-Verdasco and Pavel-Reynolds go with serve Massu's lost the first set 6-0, Vonie's a set and a break down, and Nadal's taken the first set 6-1 against Youzhny.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

Le Pompt Du Chef Du Non! Spears blows two chances to take the first off Vac-U-Vin, back to 5-5 - then she breaks and serves out for 7-5 and the set!

KLARA HOLDS SERVE! Raymond's still serving out for the match, though.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:01 (twenty years ago)

KOOKY LOVER WINS A GAME!

xpost

Tatiana G get your shit together. RIGHT NOW.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:01 (twenty years ago)

Space Alien takes the first set 6-4. Verdasco gets the crucial break for his first set, Massu still can't put a foot right, Stepanek-Hernych heading for a tie-break, Reynolds-Pavel already there...

And Lisa's through 6-0 6-1.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

Massu's (#18) retired injured.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:06 (twenty years ago)

The Empire Strikes Back - Vonie 4-2 up and serving, Youzhny holding serve, Pavel a break up after losing the tie break, Myskina 4-0 up...

TG is now 3-1 down, though.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:17 (twenty years ago)

The Zippy Zilla has nearly been subdued, but it is necessary to re-iterate that Anastasia Myskina currently possesses a forehand worthy of someone rated some three thousand ranking spots below what it is.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

Holy crap - Golovin (#20) falls apart in the second set, Hastae Volant 7-5 6-1!

(my Latin's exceedingly rusty, feel free to correct)

Set apiece between Tatty and Frankie. Youzhny 4-2 up and serving.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and Stepanek's a set and 3-0 up too.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:29 (twenty years ago)

Schiavone wastes no time wrapping it up 2-6 6-3 6-0. Youzhny claws back the second set 6-4. Verdasco-Canas is turning into a right little tussle - locked at 5-5 in the second. Stepanek goes 2 up on Hernych and is starting to look comfortable. Grosjean being posed somewhere between little to no problems by Lisnard - 5-1 up in the first.

Oh, and Myskina's through, but I'd imagine you already knew that.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:51 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and I forgot all about Reynolds v. Pavel - the early break was all for nought, as Reynolds came charging back to take the set 6-2. They're 2-2 with serve in the third.

Wee Seb's taken the first set easily. Coria's lost his first service game against Mello, but all the other matches that have just started are with serve thus far.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

That reminds me. I forgot to mention the Dent/Tabara game yesterday, hands down the worst game of tennis I've ever seen at a grand slam. Tabara went to a 4-1 lead, and then barely got even a second serve in the rest of the match. Worst. Game. Ever.

The lovely Lindsay D (not the Brit Eurovision entry in 2001), the lady whose every word out of her mouth is like a blast of California sunshine, lost her serve, but seems to be steadying. Go Lindsay!

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

Bobby Joe is having an absolute stormer - he's suddenly gone 5-2 up in the third, one game away from taking out the 17th seed...

Canas holds on for 7-5 to level at one set all. Hand-Knitted Pasty Cover 4-2 up and serving at Big Dave...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:07 (twenty years ago)

Hang the eff on - BJR's done it! 7-6 6-2 6-2, as the #17 seed is taken out by the world #283! They might not be particularly big names, but that's got to be upset of the tournament thus far?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

And we may be on for another one - Pasty Cover breaks the Big Dave serve to take the first set 6-2, though she then loses her serve in the next game. Daniela Hantuchova And Her Improbably Long Legs are 4-2 down against Barbieshambles, Hernych's gaining ground against Stepanek, Canas-Verdasco and Youzhny-Nadal are still finely poised, Coria breaks back, Grosjean still looking like he's through to the next round already.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:17 (twenty years ago)

Davenport has, presumably, remembered that she's actually the #1 seed and has started to hit some very nice forehands. She'll serve out the second, and presumably knock Pasty Cover into a cocked hat in the decider.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Lina-K is playing doubles. With Kirilenko. Sadly, losing. Against Funky Shoe Bartoli and Lena GR! (see, I told you, etc. She whomped Fabulous Fabi good).

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:38 (twenty years ago)

After the first set Linz has no problems, 2-6 6-2 6-2. Fernando wilted and Canas took the fourth set 6-0 to progress. Youzhny took the third set 6-4 but him and Nadal are still tooth-and-nailing it. Coria, Gonzalez, Sprem and Chela are all a set up, and it's a crucial tie-break in the Czech derby - Hernych must win it to stay in the match... and JR Lisnard's suddenly got a first wind - 3-1 up and serving in the third, though he's already two sets down...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 03:12 (twenty years ago)

Hernych makes it a five setter and then goes and loses his serve. Chela and Gonzalez both 2-0 up, Big John attempting to squish the Lizard's rebellious streak, Garbin on the verge of levelling.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

Youzhny choked that fourth set, BIG TIME. He couldn't get a smash in, and he had loads of them on big points.

Big reception on court for Nathan Healey, but Alka Melzer is causing, not relieving, pain.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 03:39 (twenty years ago)

Grosjean is crumbling - Lisnard takes the third 6-3 and he's a break up in the fourth. Nadal's 4-0 up in the decider against Youzhny, Mello's harrying Coria all the way...

Oh, and Sprem took two tie-breaks to stomp Garbin, DanHan through pretty easily in the end, and Stepanek triumphs in the Czech war of attrition.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 03:52 (twenty years ago)

Now is NOT the time to be short male tennis player with pouffy hair that needs a shave - Coria gets rinsed in the second set tie-break, Lisnard still has the advantage in the fourth against Grosjean. Out on court 18 Chela misses the chance to wrap up Carraz before teatime, sliding from 5-2 up to 6-5 down. Smashing Annie Smash-Smash takes the first set off Tammy, Panova's wobbling Jelly...

And Nadal's just seen off Youzhny (#15) after a five-set monster.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 04:10 (twenty years ago)

OK, so Canas actually manages to get rid of Carraz in the third-set tie-break instead. His tea's probably a bit colder now, though. The milk'll have gone funny.

Lady Vaider off to a flyer against Kosta del Nic - 4-0 in the first. The Jaysis Lisnard's come from nowhere to level at 2-2, Melzer looks like extending his advantage, and Davydenko's started brightly against Oliver Rochus' Older And Slightly Less Successful Brother.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

THere's a player called Travis Parrott in the doubles.

But back in the single world, the Prague Poppet is laying some hefty pwnage on the #31 seed - eight games without reply thus far. Jankovic snatches the first set off Panova's toes, Coria's looking a lot stronger in this third set, Chris Roc is battling back against Russian Nicky, Lisnard's just gone a break up and there was an early break for Shuai Peng which she might just be on the verge of giving back...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

And she does after a period of extremely strenuous negotiating. Kostanic has also woken up and is 2-2 in the second.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

Anna Make Go Smash is through 6-2 6-2. Grosjean's just saved match point off Lisnard, but still finds himself 5-3 down in the decider. Panova's off to a 3-0 lead in her second set, Kostanic is keeping things tighter now, Coria looks to be heading for a 2-1 lead over Rappin' Ricky, and Nath-O's leaving it all rather too late.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

Le Jour De L'Absolument NON! se continue - Grosjean (#14) can't hold serve and Lisnard's through to the third round of a major for the first time.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 04:56 (twenty years ago)

Peng breaks back. 2-5. Hmm. I didn't really expect a win, but I did expect a fight, so well done Peng Shuia, which looks enough like Feng Shui to work, I suppose.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:01 (twenty years ago)

Meanwhile, Healey's plugging away gamely, and is serving at five-all. Vaidisova serving out for it...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:03 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Peng just saved set point with the most divine forehand into the left corner imaginable...

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

And she gets it - Kostanic (#31) is the tenth women's seed to fall as the 15-year-old sets up an interesting little clash with the top seed next round...

Healey earns himself a tie-break to stay in the tournament.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:10 (twenty years ago)

Despite being broken twice by Peng, Venus got a really easy service game to go a set up, helped by the fact that Peng only managed to hold her own serve once, and with loads of deuces in that mother.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

He loses.

Mello's still a break up, Davydenko two sets up, Diva's not let Chakatak away with anything yet, Dechy and Washington are still going with serve, Panova's levelled with Jankovic.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:24 (twenty years ago)

Vene arranges Feng, 6-3 6-1. Dang, and she was hitting some great groundstrokes, she just needs to learn some variety in placing that serve (or get some more ks on it), and her coach should probably teach her some volleys that go beyond just touching the ball with the racquet when standing at the net.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:50 (twenty years ago)

Coria squeaks out Mello in the tie break. Dementia, Bandy and Masher all a set up.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:50 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and I completely forgot - Davydenko's through as well.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

Metal Mickey set up on Batty Patty...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 05:57 (twenty years ago)

Perakova beat Mostolova, Goratrova beat Wostahova and Deratrova beat Pighardiova. Kostigova lost in the first round and Smoradova's having her shoelaces fixed.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 20 January 2005 06:01 (twenty years ago)

The dividend forecast is moderate.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 20 January 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

Shocker, Hewitt and Blake not wearing same ugly shirt, Lley-Lley has on a white sleeveless number. Blake, in shaved-ape mode, has the fugly blue working for (or rather, against) him.

(There's something wrong about that first sentence, and I think I know what it is)

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 06:10 (twenty years ago)

And Jimbo takes the first set, but gives back a break in the second. Not looking god for the local boy, though.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 07:05 (twenty years ago)

YAY.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 20 January 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

So that's two consecutive two-set deficit recoveries for Lisnard?

Hewitt-Blake sounded like a cracker. I fancy Greg to upset Farmboy's apple cart this morning.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 20 January 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

Actually, it wasn't that good. The 6-0 set was closer than it looked - it went for half an hour, which is quite long for a 6-0 set. If it had been Flawless Fedge, it would have been about 13 minutes.

Re: Lleytz, all the BITS are working, but things aren't cohering.

Molik was good, but not great.

A-Hole cruising against everyone's favourite Clayton's Brit.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

Hmm... 4-0 to Omahan. The malfunctioning (and truly ugly) IBM Scoreboard gives the first set to Greg 6-2...but that's just a hangover from the Molik match.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 20 January 2005 11:18 (twenty years ago)

Gorblimey, chums, Rusedski got a set off Mandy's ex!

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

Well stap my vittals.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Unfortunately, Roddick got a break thanks to two (YES! TWO!) flukey net cords in one game, and Greg went to pieces again. Ah, pants, etc.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

I still can't believe he beat Gutmundsdottirman in the first round. Is this an unlooked-for resurgence of the big-jawed Canadian-faced lunk? Only time and A-Rod will tell.

xpost aw yeah although damn, that means more Dickhead.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

And there's a break to Dik-Dik. Someone good, please beat the shit out of him k thx bye.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

http://www.m-w.com/mw/art/dikdik.gif

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

Well, the way Roddick bends when he serves, there's a kind of resemblance, except kind of not, really.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

the antelope is prettier.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

They really are tiny, cute and adorable in the delicious flesh. More like Ai Sugiyama than A-Rod, knowworrimean.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

Rodders now 4-1 up in set four - but he has demonstrated some fragility in this match. There is hope of an early ranking-wrecking defeat yet.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

http://www.chateaudebrou.com/namibie/fotos/faunedikdik2.jpg

Aw!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

looking at the Dickhead's draw... if he gets past the Grinmeister, he appears to be pretty safe until the QF - how Grosjean contrived to lose to Lisnard is a mystery to me :(

But then I do think the Henperson will beat him in that QF.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:33 (twenty years ago)

6-0 3-6 6-2 6-3. Ddick seems to get unusually easy draws in the Slams, doesn't he? Or does the actual evidence not bear that out? I think it's a conspiracy.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 20 January 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

Oh god, Baltacha's 0-4 down and has contrived to hit 15 unforced errors in those four games.

We're not at the business end of anyone else's sets.

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 21 January 2005 00:35 (twenty years ago)

What is this I see before me? A possibly convincing win for Far-I? Surely NOT. Oh and Tash nearly lost her serve there...

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 21 January 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

Mesmo ran absolutely rampant over Ivanovic for about ten minutes there... and Ivanovic is a bloody good player. Wow. There's the set, 6-2. She will still choke in the quarters, mind.

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 21 January 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

And Silvia Farina Elia will be making her exit at a stage justified by her seeding for once! 6-1 6-0 over Baltacha. Well done, Silvia Farina Elia.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 21 January 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

And dang, Douche has drenched Anna-Lena Groenfeld's chances of going further. Next slam, Lena GR.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 21 January 2005 01:48 (twenty years ago)

The other kind of totty is on! Silly Hippo vs Sultry Brown Cow Eyes is one set apiece. In the interests of my already-shit predictions, GO SUPER MARIO!

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 21 January 2005 03:15 (twenty years ago)

Two men's matches down - Safin takes care of Ancic, Hrbaty triumphs in epic tussle of Bloke From Slovakia vs. Bloke From Argentina, getting rid of Gaudio in five.

The one women's match yet to get a mention is Linetskaya's straight setting of Frazier. Evvie's looking rather handy - she's yet to really encounter any trouble, and she's gone through Kurhajcova, Sucha and Frazier - Amelie's got a live one in the next round...

TJ-KK is a five-setter that Tommy's a break up in, Ollie-Roc is two sets to one ahead of Becksy-wecksy, and Federer's a break down against Jarkko.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 21 January 2005 05:00 (twenty years ago)

TJ and O-Roc both through, as is Federer - he came back to take the first set 6-3, Nieminen then retired at 5-2 down in the second.

Sveta a set up.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 21 January 2005 05:56 (twenty years ago)

Nieminen

Commentators don't even try to pronounce that name. They just mash the letters N and M between 'uh' noises a few times.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 21 January 2005 06:26 (twenty years ago)

F Lopez, with southpaw stealth and noisefloor tremors, is just about carrying the day vs YOCK-him at the mom', matching The Big Elk for aces and keeping the error-count down.

Agz might be in a match for the first time this tournament, as Taylor Dayne breaks early in Laver's Backyard.

I didn't realise they had floodlights on Maggie C's porch but they clearly do, unless BombsOverBaghdatis and Tommy R are playing Murder In The Dark. Can anyone remember the rules of Murder In The Dark?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 21 January 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

Can anyone remember the rules of Murder In The Dark?

I think it involved someone being the detective, someone being a victim and someone else being a murderer, and names being drawn out of a hat to decide these. I'd love to play it again, but I appear to be an adult now, damn it.

Lopez has been really impressive this tournament, though those floopy 3/4 length "shorts" must be so uncomfortable. If he gets to play Nadal, they too might end up facing of in identical outfits.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 21 January 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm trying to figure what sort of match is going on between Dentyne and Glassi; five breaks of serve, big error-count from TechnicalDrawing, Dre can barely get his serve in. It might be good to watch but I suspect not. Red Rob is in big troub vs Baggy. Shame he couldn't have played and beaten Baggy and Shoey in consecutive rounds - he'd have been the Damon Albarn of tennis.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 21 January 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

JJ and Shhh-you-know-who* are going all the way, which is nice. Aggers now a set and a break up after the confusion of the first eleven games and Rob Red is presumably Ded.

(* - I may have used this before for someone else in which case, OOPS. Also I'd like all my posts on this thread read in the voice of William Franklyn.)

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 21 January 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

This our first mid-morning epic of the fortnight (remember how Roddick-El Al dragged onto into UK lunchtime two years ago?)... JJ serving a 7-8 to stay in it after 3.5hrs...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 21 January 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

Homoerotic comment from Jim Courier in the Agassi/Dent match:

"[Taylor Dent] is a big man, but he has soft hands.".

Eww.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 21 January 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Johansson holds for 11-all with the 70th ace of the match (he leads the count 37-33).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 21 January 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

JJ won - 13-11 in the fifth after 3hr58 and winning 200 of the 399 points played. Quite close then.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 21 January 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

Okay. Sprem seems to be mopping up Liquor Store, Timbo is rubbish at the net but Davydenko is worse off the backhand, and nothing interesting is happening.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

Damn, I completely missed Our First Epic this morning. Even though I don't particularly like either JoJo or Felicia.

Nastya's through to the fourth round! The Lisa mafia has been struck down by a lower back strain and has PULLED OUT.

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

Canster's 1-2'd Step, G'mo and K-Lina seem well in control and Tim is a set down against the UNKNOWN RUSSIAN 26th seed Nikolay Davydenko. HOW MUCH LONGER will the nation TOLERATE his CONTINUAL FAILURE? The Kilroy team would like to hear from you -

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

Nastya would have totally been gone. Baxter's retiring opens the doubles draw up, too.

Seriously, in the Thimble/Davy game, the errors are more interesting than the winners. When Timbo dropped his opening service game, it was off a smash at the net that went halfway to Geelong. He would have gotten broken again if Davydenko had managed to get a fairly routine backhand over the net, instead he barely made contact with the ball!

I cannot type "Davydenko" without wanting to type "Demidenko", after the now-largely-forgotten Australian literary fraudster.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

Demidenko it is then!

Nastya would have beaten Lisa. She comes unstuck when she gets impatient, and she gets impatient against consistent baseliners. Serve-volleyers like Raymond just give her a target, and she's much better when she has to hit a proper passing shot than when she just has to hit a forehand back into court.

The Sperm Count increases as K-to-the-Lina downs Discount Booze to the tune of 6-4 6-3...

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:38 (twenty years ago)

The Sperm Count

fnar fnar. This may be the first decent nickname for Sprem, really. The earlier attempts were a bit too Carry On.

And the Henperson is now two breaks down in the second, and is presumably about the be on the receiving end of mocking newspaper headlines all over Ingleteller. He doesn't look like wants to be there. Sadly, you'd bet that Demidenko will be exposed as an imposter by the A-Hole, whereas Timbo could have done something. If he were playing remotely well which he patently is not.

I didn't actually watch Yockem Sockem/F-Lo as I was busy drafting a series of invective emails, but I'm assured it was "ridiculous", in a good way.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:46 (twenty years ago)

oh fuck I forgot I was relying on the Timbot to beat Dickhead. Agh does this mean I have to cheer him on to a rousing, come-from-behind win? Even though I like Demidenko more?

Sorry Nikolay: greater good, and all that. It is imperative that Dickhead is removed from this tournament asap, so GO TIM.

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

GC-II through with nary a whimper.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

And there's another break point against Thimble, as his current level of displayed talent could fit in one. I reluctantly cheer when he saves it, thinking of the sweet, sweet dismantling of Roddick, and how even when done by bloody Henman it's pleasurable.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:02 (twenty years ago)

No posts from Dan on this thread? It can't be!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:06 (twenty years ago)

It's because Serena Williams hasn't been on court long enough for anyone to get disparaging comments on her in.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:10 (twenty years ago)

GC-I through too.

It basically seems to be all about Show Court 3 today - most of the other matches seem like pretty one-sided affairs, whereas trying to pick a winner in Reptile-Cabbage, Dishes-Knuckles or Batty-Chucker is a bit trickier.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:19 (twenty years ago)

And Henskovic is broken again, and it's gonna need to be the mother of all comebacks to have any chance at what should have been the easiest road to a semi-final he's had in yonks....

Launch is playing me 'The Distance', which I hope might inspire him a bit. Suspect not though.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:21 (twenty years ago)

It's segued into 'My Immortal'. He's fucked.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:23 (twenty years ago)

Timber appears to have been lopped by Nicky.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

I am wondering right now whether Ferrero Rocher has what it takes to be an elite player again. These days it seems if he's not injured he's choking, or sometimes just sucking. Not on court, JC!

Anyway, I'm not sure if/when he'll be top 5 again, which is rather sad.

Henbot accordingly fucked, Demi D through with no problems.

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

There is a fantastic ad on TV at the moment for Taubman's paint, with teflon that is being blanketed during the tennis. It uses the tune from "Sexbomb" by Tom Jones/Mousse T, except it goes "Teflon, Teflon! You're my Teflon" and is generally far more entertaining than that Henman game.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

The draw flops open in front of Roddick now - yes kids, ILX might have to be cheering the Chewitt the way things are going...

C'MON MELT-ZAAAAH!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:26 (twenty years ago)

Break up for Kohlio and he's got the first set 7-5. Nalby misses an opportunity to take an early lead - from 5-2 down Ferdy pulls it back to 5-5.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 02:53 (twenty years ago)

He's regretting it now - the Chilean takes the tiebreak. Vaidopenspace is freezing - Linz takes the first set 6-2. As did AR, who's now a break up in the second, as is Not-Noticeably-That-Big Phil.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 03:18 (twenty years ago)

Alka Melzer isn't fizzing, he's just dissolving. I hate you, Andy Roddick.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 03:24 (twenty years ago)

Linz scratches off Vaid 6-2 6-4. Seemingly no way back for Jean-Rene this time - two sets and 5-2 down...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 03:58 (twenty years ago)

And he's gone, so PK Tuns awaits the winner of Alka-Pandy, which has suddenly got a bit close in the third set - the Austrian's found his serve from somewhere and it's 5-5...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

No, he's gone and bloody lost it again, and Anita served out for the match. Meh.

Argentinian Dave ducks and dives his way to the second set against Nando.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 22 January 2005 04:09 (twenty years ago)

I've been moving house lately so have not had time or (until now) the means to log on. So this pontification is even longer and based on even less empirical evidence than my usual rantings:

Heard the SIGR get creamed by the Head the other night. (Hey, your dustcart driver might be an A-grade turd, but somebody has to take care of the rubbish.) And saw about three early games of Hewitt v Sexton Blake, enough for me to give that match away, and still enough to confirm that the new Turbo-Leyt who streeted Clement is, as I suspected, just clever PR. Molik (who also had her flat spots) will progress at least one round further in this competition than Lleyt, who may well falter and not come back when he plays somebody either a) better or more likely b) more match-fit than Inspector Blake. There is no shortage of names for either column.

Saw the action live from the scene yesterday, and a great day it was. Highlight: the first set and last set and a half of Tommy Joe Hansen (who used to be boring) v Kevin Kim from Kalifornia. KK from K took two sets off TJH and at 26 this year is leaving his run a bit late, but Kim's whole game screams 'look at moiiii!!!!'. He has to be better than Michael Chang for a start.

(The Swedish cheer squad does add something to the event, although opinions vary as to what. They have one chant that sounds like 'Thomas the Dickhead'. And for some reason (just to be specially annoying maybe?) they have resurrected that fondly-presumed-dead piece of 70s disco dreck, 'That's The Way I Like It' by those well-known Volvo-drivers KC and The Sunshine Band.)

Earlier, SFE polished off Baltacha in very short order indeed and Vera the Douche did similar to AL G, who, yes, was wearing blue and green. On the point before match point, Vera suddenly broke like Cathy Freeman directly at AlG who was shaping to do a drop shot. The smart thing for AnnaLena to do at that point would have been to swing through and aim flat through a spot somewhere near Vera's left ear, but instead she tried to pull back the shot even further and the ball bounced over the net like a table-tennis serve.

Also saw the seemingly ageless MN and the seemingly weightless DH wallop two hapless locals in the doubles. Both can empty a bar in five minutes, though maybe not quite for the same reason. Also Todd Woodbridge and a rather stroppy Indian chap squeaked out a doubles win against Andre Ev and David Enko. (I notice Dave has recovered from the disappointment in time to send Henners on his customary first-weekend bus trip to Tullamarine.)

Bit of a programming hitch yesterday when Sveta K was meant to play doubles with Molik after finishing her R3 singles match which, thanks to the GG v Herabbitty epic, didn't start until after 6 pm, which meant that the court where Leece and Svet were meant to play was basically closed for the day from mid-afternoon, potentially miffing paying customers such as Yours Truly. Still, I suppose not even Lleyton Hewitt at his most precious would expect the singles draw to be done around his and his partner's doubles schedule.

(Just noticed yesterday, doubtless inviting a 'no shit Sherlock' comment from somewhere: The TV straight-down-the-court view is about the least interesting of all possible angles to watch tennis from. It gives you no idea of the speed and trajectory of the ball or the work the players put on the ball at impact.)

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Saturday, 22 January 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

Alicia is being frighteningly unconvincing again, despite the fact that if she serves this out, she'll win 6-3 6-2 against Tatiana Panova, a player who seems to get shorter and squatter every time I see her play. Must be the increasing verticality of the new players.

Neither 7 nor Fox digital showed Lindsay Davenport. Because of course, she doesn't have fans, does she? PILLOCKS.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

And now it's The Demented Diva vs That Slip of a Thing, Dani with One I. I am having an MSN conversation with someone who wants Dani to win, but I say Viva La Diva.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 05:56 (twenty years ago)

And, quelle surprise, Diva has some difficulty holding, some difficulty breaking, and it's 4-4.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:06 (twenty years ago)

It's Dementieva (when she cries, she is an angel, when she laughs, she's a devil) who is all beauty and love, serving the set out 7-5. Yes, that's not a typo. Diva served out the set! Okay, it was on an appalling volley error from Dani, but still! Diva. Diva! DIVA! DIVAAAAAAAH!

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:31 (twenty years ago)

As Diva goes a break up in the second, idiot commentators say "that looks like the decisive break".

MORONS. This is Elena Dementieva. There are no decisive breaks.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:05 (twenty years ago)

Ahahaha 'decisive break'. Maybe it was, though! She won 6-4 in the third, though I have to assume there were more breaks-and-holds after that initial one. I didn't expect Stick Girl to put up such a fight.

Wondrous reportage Fred! I'm always amazed at how hard and fast the players actually hit the ball when I'm at a match - TV doesn't convey it at all. And if a player is using lots of spins &c, it just comes across as patballing on TV. Dementieva's serve live is still hilarious, though.

Raffish Rafael through with precious few problems against Bobby Joe; Petty Patty hits Abigail up one more time and drives her crazy - now she's gone, now she's gone.

The Llout currently two sets to one up over Chelonis...

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 22 January 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

Actually, Lex, that break wasn't decisive, as Hantuchova broke back, then broke again and won the set. The decisive one came in the last set. She actually hit a really good serve at one point. Quite fast and well placed! Well done, Elena!

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

The World's Buffest 12-Year Old gets through Iggy in four sets, and seems to be doing even more "come on"s than ever before. Flashes of brilliance, and periods of walkabout that are going to get him flayed alive if he thinks about having them against Roddick. WE ARE RELYING ON YOU, CHEWY HEWY, TO KNOCK HIM OUT.

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 22 January 2005 12:33 (twenty years ago)

And we're away for today - Kuzzie squelches on the Douche 6-4 6-2. Lots of doubles today...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

Fed dropped a set to Baggy at the US Open, so this is the equivalent of a grudge match for him. He's taken the first set 6-2. Linnie's off to a shocker against Mezza - she was 4-0 down... and she's just broken to get her first game of the match. Hmm.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 02:23 (twenty years ago)

Federer and Amelie both straight-set it.Today's run might be a bit dull.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 03:31 (twenty years ago)

Oh goddamnit, Petrova was putting up a good fight against Queen Rene and now she's down a sodding break in the third. Boo to the world.

― edward o (edwardo), Sunday, 23 January 2005 07:55 (twenty years ago)

And yes, the Hulk petrified Petrova good in the end. BOO HISS. But it's not as if there aren't plenty more Russians where THAT one came from. YOU WILL GET YOURS!

― edward o (edwardo), Sunday, 23 January 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

Yesterday featured no shocks at all ever.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

STOP HATING ON MY GIRL

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Hi Dan!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

I saw Serena and Nadia on TV today. It was so, so, so dire. Honestly, I've seen better quality matches at Challenger tournaments. Both of them should hang their heads in shame. I think Nadia managed to hit about three groundstrokes over the net in the first set, and Serena's forehand in the second set went everywhere except within the lines.

I'd say that Serena has to raise her level to beat Mauresmo, but the thing is she doesn't: she could turn up playing even worse than today, and Mauresmo would still find a way to choke.

Meanwhile, FedEx pwns Agatha: "Even on my day when I'm not playing perfect, I know I can beat him. He's not as good as he was when he was at the top of the ranking, otherwise he would be there. Fortunately, I'm there. I think he has to raise his game, not me."

Andrew fucking Castle was dissing the Russians during the BBC coverage today: said they were boring, no one was interested in them, only got lucky to win their Slams, only play for money (yes Andrew you twat, some people have experienced this thing we call poverty, and might need money). Of course, he then turned around and started perving on Sharapova in quite icky terms.

The Diva would like to say "fuck you":

http://tennis.datasport.it/immagini/dementieva.jpg

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

Big match today, of course, is the Coddler vs. De Milo - can the hometown girl cling on for the quarters? Indeed, can Airportt hold off UNKNOWN SPANISH TEENAGER? Can Batty Patty really make the quarters? Will Big Dave get stuck... Oh crumbs.

It's all to play for tonight, and I have a 9 am lecture. Crivens.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Of course, there's also the possibility - arguably the probability - that it could go entirely to seed for the first time in goodness knows how long - the top 8 women seeds are all still in the draw. In the men's, of course, Dominik Hrbaty has gone and spoiled everyone's fun. LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

(course, he didn't actually knock out Moya, but, y'know. Just saying...)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

the top 8 women seeds are all still in the draw

This hasn't happened for over a decade! At Roland Garros '93 -

[1] Steffi Graf vs [6] Jennifer Capriati
[4] Conchita Martinez vs [8] Anke Huber
[3] Gabriela Sabatini vs [5] Mary Joe Fernandez
[2] Arantxa Sanchez Vicario v [7] Jana Novotna

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

BOO HISS ETC. Ellie-D is about to play the frizzy (both in hair and in sanity) Pattie Cake and I HAVE TO GO TO THE SODDING AIRPORT and get on a stupid plane.

Hope it's not a good match.

― edwardo, Sunday, 23 January 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

Batty Patty and the Demented Diva served their way into a first-set tiebreak, which the Diva has promptly taken - and in a shock move, has held her serve to love to open the second set. Rumour has it that she actually hit a second serve ace in the first set.

Dickhead is two sets up on the Eyeliner Writer. I don't care about that match.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

Oh my. Diva sped out into a 4-0 second set lead... only to utterly blow it. Batty Patty will now serve for the set at 5-4 up. Pointing and laughing at the Diva may commence now.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

Schneezer blew it as well. Then they both blew it, at the same time, and it went to a tie-break...

Which went to the glorious Swiss nation. They're 1-1 in the third. Linz mopped up Lina 6-2 in the first, currently going with serve in the second.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:30 (twenty years ago)

As far as Chunky Lunky goes, today it was PKS' turn to wilt under the hopes of a small section of the internet in straight sets. Next up for him - The Least Interesting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (Yes, Less Than Leonardo - Leonardo Was DEEP, Man) vs. Lleyts.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

Diva gets a break which Patty immediately snatches back. 2-2.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:35 (twenty years ago)

Michaelangelo = Joey
Donatello = Ross
Raphael = Chandler
Leonardo =

sorry carry on with cricket

― elwisty, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

KAAA! KAAA! Elena attempts to hold onto serve, several times, but keeps falling short - Die Frizzenfrau swoops for the break, then holds, and now she's receiving for the match at 5-2 up...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

And she's got it! Hail to the Cuckoo!

(note: Patty actually got to the semi-finals here last year, a fact that somehow evaded my encyclopaedic knowledge of the game of catgut-hitty-fuzzy-ball-oh)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

(seriously, though, this thread last year did really hit stride by the quarters. I also didn't post an awful lot. Are these things related? Hmm...)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:59 (twenty years ago)

Luxurious Davenport eiderdowns The Scourge 6-2 6-2.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

And - what's this? Myskina's dropped the first set against Dechy!

(INT. CASTLE VON CASTLE - STUPIDLY EARLY MORNING)

As lightning flashes outside the window, we see the back of a sofa, on which are seated two people.

ANDREW CASTLE: Ha ha ha. Do you see?

PENNY SMITH: Yes. Ha ha ha.

CASTLE: Ha ha ha.

SMITH: Ha ha ha.

BEN SHEPHERD: Ha ha ha.

JENNY FORRESTER: Ha ha ha.

LORRAINE KELLY: I'll put the kettle on.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

Mon dieu! The Guadeloupe Goddess is 4-1 up and serving!

(INT. CASTLE VON CASTLE - STUPIDLY EARLY MORNING, JUST A BIT LATER ON)

ANDREW CASTLE - Ha ha ha.

ALL - Ha ha ha.

CASTLE - Truly, my masterplan is now coming to fruition. For now the tennis world shall be at the prey of my creation. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to - BUNTYTRON 500!

BUNTYTRON 500 - Never say die. Percentages. Meep.

ALL - Oooh!

CASTLE - Buntytron, say hello to the people.

BUNTYTRON - It is delightful to be here. I am taking nothing for granted.

KELLY - Och, she's very good.

CASTLE - Of course she is. Notice how she is wearing white soled shoes.

BUNTYTRON - Beep. Yes, so they will not make marks on the gymnasium. The sticker may say non-marking sole, but you cannot - meep - trust these stickers. They are only there to attract the children to their flashing objects. They must be stopped. Nerp.

ALL - Oooh!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

Kina breaks - Dechy breaks back! 5-2 up, serving out for the match - could there be a French person that isn't Whammo in the last 8?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:24 (twenty years ago)

Et c'est fini! 6-4 6-2, and the top half of the women's draw is blown wide open - Molly Halfhead-Venus Mit Furze might well be producing one of YOUR 2005 AUSTRALIAN OPEN FINALISTS at this rate (gosh, another all-Williams final - retro-style!)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:30 (twenty years ago)

And amidst all the excitement, I've completely forgotten that tennis is also being performed by Davydenko and Canas, and this time the Russian is on top by a fair old way - 6-3 6-4, and serving at 1-0.

(INT. HMS TASTEFUL - DAY)

BILL TURNBULL: So, Rob, this Davydenko chap - he beat Tim?

ROB BONNETT: Yes, though it should be said that this is only in a tennis playing sense.

BILL TURNBULL: People will be asking, of course, what this means for Tim.

ROB BONNETT: Yes, questions will be and are being asked practically as we speak, and I've been speaking to some of the leading tennis experts to find out their opinions on what this means for the British number one.

SUE MOTT: It's all over now, really, isn't it. Tim should just sling his hook and call it a day and, quite frankly, chuck himself and his stupid haircut into Lake Windermere where I, and the rest of the British public, will finally say good riddance Tim, you are a loser, and we hate you.

OLIVER HOLT: Nyeeeeeh.

DAVID MELLOR: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. You just have to understand the facts, which are perfectly simple. Even a child must surely understand that tennis is a game played by two men involving rackets, a ball, and a net. Really, it's very simple, and Henman's continual failure to grasp this is yet another example of the declining standards in dumbed-down New Labour 'Cool Britannia'. No.

PIERS MORGAN: Don't you fucking look at me like that.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

We interrupt this coverage to bring you the announcement that there's a player in the boys singles called Tristan Farron-Mahon.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

And so Nikolay Davydenko becomes the next obstacle for Roddick, 6-3 6-4 6-3. First time beyond the third round of any major for the Russian, and he's yet to drop a set in the tournament - could be very interesting...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 05:10 (twenty years ago)

Still Broadband-less and idiot-box-less but will temporarily be back on tonight (Oz time) to (most likely) discuss the traditional second-Monday exit-stage-right of Lleyton and all the Lleytonettes.

Can't help notice that unlike the travelling Crayon-Crunchers Circus, who seemed to rate it the biggest event in world tennis since the invention of catgut, the Juan-Obnoxious Big Spit has rated nary a mench on this thread.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 24 January 2005 05:25 (twenty years ago)

Lleyts-Raffles hasn't finished yet. Hewie's just survived a fourth-set tie-break to stay in the match. The noise is quite probably deafening.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

Fucking Nastya and Elena. Really unacceptable losses. Batty Patty's great, but no one should lose from a set and 4-0 up. And as for Nastya... top players and Slam champions DO NOT LOSE TO NATHALIE DECHY. EVER. UNACCEPTABLE. AAARGH. I am upset now.

Chewitt won too, to make it an even worse day.

Leash leads De Milo to the tune of 7-5 3-3.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 24 January 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

Mixed feelings about Llout's comeback - Nadal nixed Rodders on clay last year but lost heavily to him on hard courts, so I figure Chewy is still our best bet to deny Anita.

Shocking Blue levels for 5-5 in the second vs Amolik.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

VW trails 2-5 in the breaker. The novelty will wear off relatively early defeats in the Slams for the Williamses eventually - but not yet.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:21 (twenty years ago)

Not yet at all - it's all over, Molik through 7-5 7-6.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! OI! OI! OI!

That is all.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

Take a bow Lleyt. You were great. And a big bouquet to Leese as well for the biggest win of her career. Both matches were absolutely marvellous, and Raffles is going to get many chances to improve on this afternoon's result.

When you're playing Aussie Rules (like the Llout's dad and uncle did, and the Llout himself fondly but amusingly fancies he could have) and your team outscores the other mob by 6 goals to 1 in the first quarter and then is outscored 6 goals to 4 in the second, you still go in at half-time with a handy three-goal lead. That is a big difference to tennis: Roddick's 21-19 epic over Eunice Alan Howie two years ago, Leese and Vene's tiebreaker tonight, and any 'bagel' are all worth exactly the same: one set.

In the third set this afternoon, Naddles absolutely thrashed Hewitt but it advanced him no further than if he had won it 6-4, or 7-6 (34-32) or whatever. Ultimately the Llout was more across that fact of tennis life that Raffles. But he will doubtless learn. And isn't it good to see a Spaniard with his flair. It was almost a Blakean riddle to me that the country than gave the world J-M Fangio and Seve Ballesteros could also churn out such an unending, uninspiring clutch of tennis hacks.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

Michael, I sent you an email to your proper address. Not about tennis, sadly. About me making a spelling mistake.

― Peter Stringbender (PJ Miller), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Umm, Fangio's Argentinian...

As are Coria and Bandy, who've just kicked their match off at ten to eleven in the evening. Good luck chaps...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 January 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Chick Corea being challenged on serve: so far 3-2 Nailbags' way.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 24 January 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

And DN has broken at the fourth or fifth attempt.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 24 January 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

Good grief, I hope they've all taken their ProPlus. 12:48am in Melbourne and it's only one set all between G'mo and Bandy. Ten breaks of serve (out of 24 b-p opportunities), 130min on court.

I read the other day that the men's final is scheduled as a night match this year. This means getting up early on a Sunday rather than simply not going to bed on a Saturday night for us Brits. I'm rather more familiar with the latter.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Just when it looks like Nalbo is running away with it and might make the last bus after all, Chick breaks him to love; it's 5-7 7-5 4-1 to Daviiid, 71 minutes into Tuesday.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

(PJM: just written to you at the address you use on this forum with an urgent request; again, sadly not tennis-related).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

I see Bandy won - three and love in the last two sets. Maybe Guerilla's scared of the dark. Did they make it to 2am? Perhaps not.

It's a good last eight - I'd like to fall asleep to some of it on the Beeb. But it's not Henman, so it's not Henlikely.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

Holy shit. When did Alicia Molik become a monster??? (In tennis-playing terms, I mean.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

Also WTF was Venus wearing?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/tennis/specials/australian_open/2005/01/23/monday.matches.ap/p1_venusaussie_all.jpg

"I don't know which is worse; my forehand or my skirt! CALGON. TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

Molik became a monster last year. I was sceptical until the autumn - I'd never thought she could even crack the top 20 - but her indoor results were rather stunning. And even when she was rubbish, she always did extra well in Australia anyway. And after this tournament, she'll be in the top 10, with not many points to defend for quite a while. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that she could win this, if Davenport pulls her dud Slam match one round earlier than normal: she's in the best form of anyone in the last 8. Molik and Kuznetsova are the only players who haven't lost a set yet.

Venus went back to the Headache Dress? That hurt my eyes in the first round, but then in her second match she wore a lovely black top and some very flattering shorts.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 24 January 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

Oh, quarter-final line-up:

Lindsay Davenport v Alicia Molik
Nathalie Dechy v Patty Schnyder
Svetlana Kuznetsova v Maria Sharapova
Serena Williams v Amelie Mauresmo

Roger Federer v Andre Agassi
Marat Safin v Dominik Hrbaty
David Nalbandian v Lleyton Hewitt
Nikolay Davydenko v Andy Roddick

To win? Kuznetsova and Federer.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 24 January 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

I want Nalbandian to win, just because his name is jaunty.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

Also if a Russian MUST win, I want it to be Kuznetsova as she's the only one who's halfway cool.

Actually, I'd be happy with anyone EXCEPT Sharapova (not that she wouldn't deserve it; I just think she's a brat for beating someone my age).

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

They're underway, y'know - first up, The Battle For Mother Russia, between Lovely Gorgeous Radiant Modern Face Of The Women's Game Maria Sharapova and Svetlana Needs Braces. It's the shorter-legged one with the upper hand at present, break up, serving at 4-3 in the first.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

And Kuzzie's got it! 6-4. All the sets Shaz has lost so far have been 4-6 first sets; let us hope that Sveta takes advantage of her lead now, unlike LLW and SFE.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

But suddenly, the vivaciously gorgeous and charming worm has turned - two breaks on the spin (getting broken in between for good measure), and Shazzer's serving at 4-2...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

And just like that Maria takes the second set 6-2 - where was the serve I once thought to see in yr eye, etc...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

I'm starting to wonder about whether something's wrong with the Super-K - the set's been ready to start for a good five or six minutes now...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:45 (twenty years ago)

It has kicked off now, with Sharapova holding serve.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:52 (twenty years ago)

Also WTF was Venus wearing?

Did you see what she was wearing underneath? At one point she lifted her skirt and revealed ENORMOUS WHITE GRANNY-BOG-CATCHERS.

No style, no flair, and following that petulant press conference, a complete and total fucking sook. I hope Molik stops to rub it in.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

Is Sharapova doing that wacky wounded-dog noise again this time?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

Holy crap - that's... an implausibly long run of services lost by Sveta, and Shazczynski's serving out for the match at 5-1.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:26 (twenty years ago)

So obviously she doesn't hold, and now Kuzzie's serving out to stay in the hunt...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:28 (twenty years ago)

Well,well, well. Good god, Molik vs Williams was an absolutely fantastic match. I jumped up and pumped my arms so often during it my right elbow is sore as fuck. Alicia is a LOVE MACHINE, finding ways to NOT adore her is now impossible. Quite apart from the fact that she is a Polish Australian (Rrrrrr, BEST PEOPLE EVER), she's forthright and intelligent in interviews, and as Lex mentions, a total sweetie, she absorbed and defended the big Venus groundstrokes as well as anyone could have. Magnifique.

Lleyton was great, but when your opponent is hitting crazy-good inside out forehands up the line, WHY IS LLEYTON'S COACH NOT TELLING HIM TO HIT UP THE LINE HIMSELF? He always goes cross-court, and it's getting a touch predictable.

Sveta's capitulation in that game was unacceptable. She served, as we say around these parts, like an old sheila. Maria is not looking remotely convincing, she will not be winning this tournament.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

40-15 up... and she fluffs it, Maria breaks and is through 4-6 6-2 6-2.

Up next - Serena attempts to avenge her family's honour (via tennis) against M'resmo.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

Alicia is a LOVE MACHINE, finding ways to NOT adore her is now impossible.

Seconded. She looks nice enough already, but with that sense of humour and SPUNK, she's way up there.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:39 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine and I have decided that we are going to stalk Alicia and wave beautiful placards at her next time she is in Sydney. "Mmm. Wet Alicia" was one comment that kept being repeated while watching last night's match.

What chance against Lindsay? She won't be able to count on as many errors from Big Sunny D, but equally, there's not as much reach or speed. I'll give Molik a set at least....

I am in a tedious internet cafe and cannot watch Mesmo vs Serena - too depressing, it will be. However, if it all goes to shit, I may type out the Offensive Amelie Mauresmo Joke, even though it's really, really awful.

Come on Amelie, you CAN do it if you remember that it is in YOUR RACQUET HAND not IN YOUR HEAD.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

I may type out the Offensive Amelie Mauresmo Joke, even though it's really, really awful.

DOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

The Offensive Amelie Mauresmo joke only works if you understand that the word "dick" can be applied to both men and women as an abusive term.

There. That's the context. I will type the joke if she loses.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and I'm warning you, IT IS NOT VERY GOOD.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

Don't blackmail me into hoping Williams wins you bastard.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 02:58 (twenty years ago)

http://www.czabe.com/backup/graphics/gallery/Classic%20Photos/mauresmo.jpg http://www.bradfordfilmfestival.org.uk/2003/img/strands/highlander.jpg

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

Blackmail not necessary, seemingly, Serena up 6-2 in double quick time. Dan Perry is going to kill me, I know it. DO YOUR WORST, PERRY!

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:23 (twenty years ago)

Fucking bulldog.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:25 (twenty years ago)

Seriously, I hate those Williams bitches.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:25 (twenty years ago)

So if I went and mischievously posted a Serena pic on your B&H forum, what would you do, Adam? (Obviously, that would be wrong)

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

Fuck you, dude. Seriously.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:34 (twenty years ago)

(not you, edward)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:35 (twenty years ago)

Look who's playing doubles in one of the legends games... Why, it's Anne Minter, the last Australian women to make the quarters. And she won!

Line up your soldiers, Lindsay, she'll shoot them all down, because Alicia rules the world.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:35 (twenty years ago)

I knew it wasn't to me Dan, but I should clarify. I don't like Venus's style of game really. Her vs Molik was an awesome tussle - great groundstrokes, those LINES - especially Molik's aim on those break points - but V's just as likely to be annoying and ugly in her clubbing, throwing appalling errors into the mix making the game raelly awful to watch.

That said, off the court, I rather like her. Good sense of humour, good head on her shoulders. Plus, I used to be able to do a KILLER impersonation of her, back in the days where she was a bit useless at being interviewed and basically said the same thing after each match, i.e. "I just had to play my game, hit the ball over the net, because you know, she's a really great player".

Serena though, no time for her, even if she does have more bona fide skillz.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:38 (twenty years ago)

A break for SWill over Ammo, and it appears to be a foregone conclusion. Shit, fuck, root, etc.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

GO SERENA GO!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:48 (twenty years ago)

So if I went and mischievously posted a Serena pic on your B&H forum, what would you do, Adam?

Already have done

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:50 (twenty years ago)

Fuck you, dude. Seriously.

They're the two most ungracious losers I've ever seen in my life. No really, fuck 'em. Fuck 'em to fucking fuck and back again.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

I am seriously so angry right now that I need to step away from this thread and not look in on it again.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

MARTINA FUCKING HINGIS RING ANY BELLS???

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:54 (twenty years ago)

Hingis wasn't that bad. Besides, she was really young and very inexperienced. The Williams sisters are in their mid-20s, they have no fucking excuse.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 03:59 (twenty years ago)

Really, I'm sick to death of seeing them lose a game to someone else and completely ignore the fact that the other player just might have performed better than them. Every other player bloody manages it. Even our Hewitt, who gets all noisy on court and gives other players the shits, has the good nature to complement other players after the match.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:01 (twenty years ago)

Are you high? They do that!

Basically, you've decided that they're full of themselves, so no matter what they say you're going to hear it as "The stars magically aligned to keep me from winning something that I deserve". Fuck you.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:02 (twenty years ago)

A response that emotive is only befitting of their mum. Are you their mum.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:05 (twenty years ago)

Let me say that again:

A response that emotive is only befitting of their mum. Are you their mum?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:06 (twenty years ago)

No. I am. I am going to thwack you to death with my scary hair, Adam, for talking shit about my girls.

― Oracene Williams, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:06 (twenty years ago)

I'm someone who thinks you're saying that racist behavior (remember Hewitt/Blake?) is more gracious and becoming than expressing diappointment in yourself.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:07 (twenty years ago)

As such, I don't really feel like being polite towards you on thios issue.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:07 (twenty years ago)

Racist? Sorry? Want to explain that one?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

And in the midst of all that, Serena's career win-loss record against Amelie got even more disproportionate in the 6-2 6-2 kind of way.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

Yeah. Depressing.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

Up next - Dominik Hrbaty looks to do a Dechy on Maratski.

(I think)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:10 (twenty years ago)

Racist? Sorry? Want to explain that one?

Seriously Dan, I'd like to hear what happened. I'm unaware of any racism in that match, so clearly I missed something.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:15 (twenty years ago)

Adam, I think he means a match some years ago where Lleyton pointed to a (black) linesman who made a call he disagreed with and asked something along the lines of "What's the resemblance?".

After the game, he claimed he was referring to the fact that it was the same linesman making the same call on the same line, but I don't know if anyone was convinced by it.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:18 (twenty years ago)

Oh shit, I didn't hear about that. Nasty. Presumably the Australian media covered it up, just as it covers up all the obscene rapes and gropings done by Australian football and rugby players. 'But they're national heroes!' That sort of thing.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:19 (twenty years ago)

I guess the next question is why Dan got so defensive and abusive when I bagged out a couple of tennis players.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:26 (twenty years ago)

Whoo! Molik just won doubles in straight sets. I am all over this girl, yo.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 05:26 (twenty years ago)

Covered up? Are you mad?!? It was all over the news when it happened.

― haitch™ (haitch), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

Since.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:36 (twenty years ago)

The local crayon-crunchers are all over Hewitt whenever he farts in the wrong direction, so they weren't going to miss a story like that.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:49 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt did invite it back in those days, and to an extent still does. He is one of nature's foot-in-mouth artists, not the sharpest tool in the shed, and the Blake comment was not a great look to say the least.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:54 (twenty years ago)

Oh look, the only player I actively like left in the women's draw is Batty Patty. It was all going so well up til yesterday morning! I could probably cope with Shaz winning it, for the sake of the RUSSIAN SLAM.

(incidentally Venus is one of the most gracious winners/losers on tour; Serena, er, very much isn't, but then she's the one with more Slams and stuff. Reading anything into post-match press conferences is silly anyway, all the players just want to get out of them asap.)

I really hope someone stops Davenport (Leash? Batty?). She's hella dull, and a Serena v Davenport final would be totally lose-lose for me. Except if Serena's in the final I at least will not fall asleep.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 09:25 (twenty years ago)

Meanwhile, Federer is two sets up vs Agassi in the match we were all so eagerly anticipating we all forgot it was on. And he's broken at the start of the third. 18-0 aces, 35-7 winners, 67% first serves in. I presume this is some sort of masterclass.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:00 (twenty years ago)

AA's just hit his first ace - 197km/h - to win his first point on serve in set three. 6-3 6-4 *2-1 to RF.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

Ownedre Ownedgassi!

― haitch™ (haitch), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:16 (twenty years ago)

6-3 6-4 6-4 in 99min; 46-13 winners, 22-1 aces. For once, the stats seem to say...well, something. (They also say, in other areas, that Agz ran him closer than the scoreline suggests).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

The reason I reacted the way I did is because I constantly see shit where people say fucking ugly shit about the Williams sisters for having the temerity to have been #1 players while making excuses for every white player under the sun (ask Amelie Mauresmo if she thinks that Hingis isn't that bad, or did you not know about Hingis' dabbling with homophobia?). It's really tiresome.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

Haha Mauresmo's response to being asked what she thought of Hingis's comeback next month was classic - she was just like "what? what? I don't care! don't talk to me about her!"

Oh dear this Williams debate is totally reminiscent of this tennis board I used to post at. The battles between the Williams fans and the Hingis fans were awesomely dumb (I was neither, the Majoli fans spent most of their time drunk in honour of Iva).

There used to be some really horrible shit said about Venus and Serena, but they've got it pretty good right now - from what I can see the US media has belatedly realised that they are the only good American players who aren't about to retire, and rallied round them while slagging my poor Russians off for being 'unmarketable' and 'lucky' &c &c, all bollocks obv.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

In general I agree, Lex.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

I've just realised that I only warmed to Venus after she stopped winning Slams, and Martina v2 after she retired :( It hasn't happened with Serena yet -> her career is not on the wane!

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

(The only female player I actively fucking hate is Fatriati - I just find Serena tiresome, while Clidge and Big Dave bore me senseless)

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

I was a big fan of Capriati when she was winning. Not so much now.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

I think I might've enjoyed the Capriati renaissance more if I'd been into tennis when she was a superkid - I started watching it around the time she vanished, so all I knew were her retarded interviews and latterly her cheating ways.

Ohhhh, I loved that Wimbledon SF where JHH beat her 6-2 in the third!

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

And tonight the singles schedule is a bit muffed as the organisers saw the prospect of a Dechy-Schnyder QF as being a touch unappealing, so that gets buried 'no earlier than 1PM' on the 3rd most important court. Rod Laver opens with a doubles match followed by Linz-Lish and Russian Dave-Pandymonium. Fairly obviously, Free Hewey vs. Bandy is the featured evening match at 7:30 PM Their Time. It should be interesting - for the homebodies, their first chance to make the last four in 'their' Grand Slam, and Nats and Pats have their best ever chance to make the last four of any slam ever (except for when Schneezer made the last four here last year, obv)...

I kinda suspect that this place will be filled by those hoping that Dicko gets a Davydunking, tho.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

DUNK THAT DICK, Nikolay!

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

Leece has squared v Dave.

I am no admirer of the Williams crowd either but I can kinda see Dan's point. 'Haters' on forums like this can be bloody tiresome, even when you don't particularly care for the subject of the hate. I certainly don't think that I (or anybody else) is made any more credible or interesting by airing the chips on my shoulder, although it'd be dead silly of me to pretend they don't exist.

But Dan, not even Clan Williams gets the death-ride Roddick gets here. Or Hewitt.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 03:45 (twenty years ago)

'I certainly don't think that I (or anybody else) is made any more credible or interesting by airing the chips on my shoulder...'

Insert a 'continually' immediately before 'airing'.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

Molik goes down 9-7 in the decider, fighting to the end, breaking back to keep the match alive twice, at one point 40-15 up in the final game. Then she had the grace to congratulate Linz at the net and wave goodbye to the crowd, but the look on her face as she left the court made her true state of mind obvious: she was absolutely clagged.

Leece will go to 10 in the rankings and with so much volatility immediately above her, there is no reason at all to assume she won't go higher.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 05:22 (twenty years ago)

DonnieDarko retired two sets and a break down to Michael Rodd. Very depressing. Chewy, COME ON!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 07:28 (twenty years ago)

what does clagged mean?

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

Clagged = fatigued, devoid of energy, buggered, stuffed, shagged out after a long squark, etc etc etc

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

To David Enko, from the Head's next opponent:

'Gee thanks a bunch!'

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

And in the semis, Leyland Dav squares off against...

Natalie Dechy! Yes, the sort-of-surprise package of the tournament thus far took out the Swiss Miss 5-7 6-1 7-5, and finds herself on the verge of a Grand Slam final - what are the chances of that, eh? (apart from 'minimal', obv)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 08:41 (twenty years ago)

Novelty Chewss gets one break and that's enough for the first set to be his 6-3.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 09:36 (twenty years ago)

First set to Bacca as Nalbuphine rolls over three-six.

(xpost)

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh for fuck's sake, the results when I wake up have been prety much the worst results I could have possibly imagined for the past three fucking days now.

Davenport, Dechy, Sharapova, S Williams. AAAAARGHHHHH

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

Wookie nudges clear with a break in set two; Llanwrst is only getting half of his first serves in but when he does, they don't seem to be coming back (91% success rate). Kinda surprising for a wily scrapper like C21H27NO4.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

And Cleyt goes two sets clear in 76mins. Now, do we want to see a match here or the easiest passage possible for anti-Roddick?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:06 (twenty years ago)

Huh.

I want Dave to win the next three 6-0 6-0 6-0, but if Hewitt must win he is to do in straights, please, so he can beat Roddick LIKE A DRUM.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

do it in straights.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:12 (twenty years ago)

Ho ho, and Bandy goes 3-0 up in set three. Put another dollar in the meter, those floodlights are going to be on for a while yet.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:18 (twenty years ago)

And now it's four-love; Rod Argent has thoroughly homed in on that previously-unplayable DeWitt delivery and is picking them off at will. Plan B, Dr Hew.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

Third set BandOnTheRun 6-1; Huey didn't hold serve at all in that set.

Interesting.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

OK, can someone who's watching this tell me what's going on? LH loses his serve for the fourth time in a row at the start of the 4th set. Lex might get something close to his wish here.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

I think Chewitt must have broken back, because he led 2-1, but now Bandy leads 4-2! Go Bandy!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

Well, butter my baps - 6-3 4th set to Bandy. Chewy's unforced error count now matches DB's. It's Australia Day, so Lleyt is, of course, going to bloody pieces.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:13 (twenty years ago)

I get lost by most of the nicknames on this thread (not that that makes them any less of a joy), but according to the interweb, C21H27NO4 is also known as Boc-Tyr(Bzl)-ol N-α-t-Boc-O-benzyl-L-tyrosinol which may well have the letters that make up "Nalbandian" in it somewhere, but it does seem to be a bit tenuous.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

Except C21H27NO4 is Hewitt...

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

(nb I don't know why either)

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

C21H27NO4 is nalbuphine (I was referring to DB as a wily scrapper who - then - was not dragging any of LH's serves back), the only word in Websters to share the first four letters of Nalbandian.

The fifth set is 28 minutes old and Bandy has just survived a marathon game to hold for 2-1.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Well, from now on I demand you refer to Bandy by the chemical's proper name (Boc-Tyr(Bzl)-ol N-α-t-Boc-O-benzyl-L-tyrosinol, and yes, that's an alpha in the middle, not an a) at all times. And no looking it up.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

They've taken 44 minutes to reach 4-3 (no breaks, only Lleytz has had chances in game three) which is kinda similar to this morning when it took me 44 minutes to get as far as Herne Hill on the bus. Pigging traffic. What's wrong with walking/getting the bus to school?

Boc-Tyr(Bzl)-ol N-á-t-Boc-O-benzyl-L-tyrosinol!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

(Oof! That didn't work, did it?)

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt to serve to stay in it at 4-5 after 3hr21. Let's see what he's made of.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

It's five-all, they've won 130 points each. Epic status attained. Australia must be gripped.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

Brandy fends off the 4th b-p of this set to hold for 6-5.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

Chewy holds to thirty with the help of his 15th ace. 6-6. There is no breaker. There have been no breaks. Give us a break, guys.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

Bandy is taken to deuce but holds for 7-6. Fifteen-all in game 14.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:33 (twenty years ago)

Come on Nail Bar! Nail Bar! Nail Bar!

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:35 (twenty years ago)

It's 7-7. In a hotel room somewhere, Pandy is half-snoozing in front of the telly. I hope he's crashed out on his racket arm.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

Nalb holds to love. 8-7.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

BIG 201km/h serve from Chewy gets him out of a tight spot at 15/30. Kicks in a second serve on the next point and Bandy makes the error. But now it's back to deuce...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

LH hangs on grimly, 8-8, still having not faced a b-p. I suspect the first time he does (if he does) it'll be the end. Can someone nobble room service at Rodders' hotel? He needs to have an unsettled night or two.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt breaks at the fifth attempt. I can almost see the gesture and hear the exclamation. Will serve for the semis at 9-8. 4hr01 on court.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

It's Lleyton, 6-3 6-2 1-6 3-6 10-8.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Phew!!! That was BLOODY close, even by the llofty standards of Lleyton.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Well after midnight and Wayne Arfurs and Trudi Musgrave start their doubles match against Scoddy Draper and Sammy the Stoat. Wayne drops his serve in game 1.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

It's getting ridiculous now. Not only are the matches going the ways I don't want, but by the worst possible scores as well!

I would do DOUBLES REPORTAGE, but all I know is that Kuzzie and Leece are in the women's final against Big Dave and Morariu, and hopefully will win. I'm too tired to look the rest up :(

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:53 (twenty years ago)

The reason I reacted the way I did is because I constantly see shit where people say fucking ugly shit about the Williams sisters for having the temerity to have been #1 players while making excuses for every white player under the sun (ask Amelie Mauresmo if she thinks that Hingis isn't that bad, or did you not know about Hingis' dabbling with homophobia?). It's really tiresome.

Hingis commented [in broken English] that Mauresmo played like a man. That's hardly a homophobic statement. Look at her ffs, she's got a build and can command power few other female players can achieve. Last I heard Mauresmo took it as a compliment, because it bloody was one.

Regarding the Williams sisters, I don't give a shit what colour they are, and I don't appreciate your insinuation that I played the race card. Other players have made the occasional diplomatic faux pas, but the Williams sisters [especially Venus] sulk like babies and fail to acknowledge that they might have beaten because their opponent performed better. After Tuesday's defeat, when Venus was asked about Molik's performance, she said: 'she didn't win; I lost.' I happen to find that tiresome.

I'm still not convinced my opinion warranted so many 'fuck you's.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

So was that Nalbandian for the whole match? Or did he keep swapping out with Adrian Belew?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

wouldn't hewitts head get hot wearing that cap?

― bulbs (bulbs), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

Couldn't get any bigger.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:43 (twenty years ago)

'Hingis commented [in broken English] that Mauresmo played like a man. That's hardly a homophobic statement.'

No but if you are a crayon-cruncher desperate for a nice juicy 'angle' to set the talkback crowd running, most days you won't find any better.

And saying 'Smith is worse than Jones' doesn't excuse Jones in any case. The total self-righteousness of Dan's response makes me wonder what (besides various opinions of a couple of tennis players) is involved in this little handbag-swinging session.

Haters are ALWAYS tiresome but I've seen plenty worse that what set this tiff off, in this thread.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

Hater-haters are by definition as self-righteous as the haters they hate.

I miss Molik.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I took Hingis's Mauresmo comment to be a very obvious homophobic slur, I believe the exact quote was that she was like a "halber Mann", and there was a definite reference to Ammo's girlfriend in there. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now. Molik. She was, frankly, robbed. The linespeople do their jobs as best as they can, and you can't kvetch about a close wrong call here and there, even in these days where Hawkeye shoes TV viewers exactly where the ball landed.

What you CAN complain about is when the UMPIRE overrules clearly correct balls. The correct procedure is that an umpire should only rule when he can be certain of an error. Ones where there's green space between the ball and the line. Ones on the "tramline" directly underneath the umpire's chair - they're the most common.

A FUCKING IN-BALL that LANDED RIGHT ON THE BASELINE, TRAVELLING AWAY FROM YOU, YOU DON'T BLOODY OVERRULE. Alicia had two of those go against her at somewhat crucial junctures.

Also, at 40/15, 7/7, Molik served an ace that was declared a fault. I believe Davenport would probably have won anyway, but to lose that game after she had REALLY won it must have been devastating. Still, she can hold her head high. I like Lindsay, I really do, I don't find her boring like Lex, I think she's a great competitor, vastly underrated and unsung by the general idiotic public and I really would like her to take this thing out now.

Sigh.

Chewy Hewy and C21H27NO4. Hmm. I was at a bit of a gathering and we forgot the tennis was on until the third set. I thought a tactical third-set tank was going on at 4-1 from the Llonely Boy - hey, you've got to play Roddick, why throw good after bad? But when he lost the fourth set, I worried.

His serve really did get him out of trouble. Nalbandian returned brilliantly against Coria - who admittedly was plunking them down at 110km/h, but that's the sort of thing Hewitt nearly did himself, so it was a good defensive display.

You foreigners missed some amazing points in the last set, too.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:08 (twenty years ago)

Hmm. While I know very little about doubles rankings and how they seed pairs, how on earth did it make sense that a combination as experienced and successful as Davenport/Morariu was only 15th?

Lex? Michael? Still, go Sveta and Leash.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

'His serve really did get him out of trouble.'

Never thought I'd see the day....

Whether that, his fighting spirit, the crowd, a team of Philadelphia lawyers, all the king's horses, all the king's men, or all or any combination of the above, can get him out of trouble any time he drops two sets on the trot to Federer 2004-5 vintage, is still questionable. But I rate his chances of getting over Roddick quite high as the Head's rather one-dimensional game hasn't really been put under the hammer yet.

Hewitt is twice whatever he was at Wimbledon 2002. (So is Nalbandian.) Unfortunately for Oz-watchers, Federer is about 245 times the player HE was then.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:12 (twenty years ago)

What is up in the air with all these BETWEEN THE LEGS SHOTS actually, you know, WORKING at this tournament? I can't believe my eyes frequently.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:20 (twenty years ago)

Federer's a machine. I watch him and my head goes into apoplectic frenzy.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:27 (twenty years ago)

Holy eff - they've already kicked off and Sharapova's got service game for the match! 6-2 5-4... is it happening all over again?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:06 (twenty years ago)

NO! Because Serena's improbable mental reserve cracks her! Suddenly, Queen Rene is 6-5 up and with a more than decent chance of squaring the match...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

Caarn Sharapova! Smash that bulldog.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:15 (twenty years ago)

Fuck.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

And she breaks her again, and from being in with a shout of winning, Shari's pegged back to one-set all with The Muscles in some pretty hardcore ascendancy right about now...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:18 (twenty years ago)

63-minute second set, BTW. I've this funny feeling that the winner of the tournament is one of these two. Just a hunch.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:19 (twenty years ago)

Still, she'll have to work pretty hard to out-stupid-noise Sharapova.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:20 (twenty years ago)

Whoo! Looking good.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:26 (twenty years ago)

And so obviously, the third set opens... with Maria going a break up. Australians, hie thee hence to a telly - I've a feeling this is gonna be kinda awesome.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:27 (twenty years ago)

Serena immediately returns the compliment.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:28 (twenty years ago)

Pressure on Shap now - eight unanswered points for Rena, 2-1.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

Back at 2-2, though I dunno how as I was making a sandwich at the time.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:38 (twenty years ago)

And out of the blue, Sharapova breaks - Serena'd been looking more comfortable with her serve than Maz beforehand, but suddenly the legs press the pedal and gets a bit heavier... 4-3 Shaz.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:48 (twenty years ago)

ESPN's dogging them both for sloppy play.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

Shara moves back to within a game of the final - time for Serena to wake up then,, and now it's 5-4 with MS serving.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

Shar has match point, loses it - deuce...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:58 (twenty years ago)

And again...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:59 (twenty years ago)

And again!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:00 (twenty years ago)

Serena only needs the one opportunity, though, and we're back to all square - 5-5, Serena serving.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:02 (twenty years ago)

Races to 6-5, and now Maria finds herself serving to stay in...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:04 (twenty years ago)

Sharapova runs to get the ball, it's too far away and it looks like she's given in... and the suddenly she lunges, and hits it, and it goes in! And Serena hits it into the net! Just unbelievable.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:08 (twenty years ago)

BUt Serena somehow still clambers back to deuce...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:10 (twenty years ago)

But Maz clings on, just, and it's 6-6. Two clear games for a win - who cracks first? Away we go...

(I'm going to bed, actually, but, y'know. Same difference)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:11 (twenty years ago)

Relax, it'll still be on when you get up.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:12 (twenty years ago)

Bulldog won. OH GOOD.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 27 January 2005 05:41 (twenty years ago)

AND DECHY IS WINNING!

What is going on?

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 27 January 2005 06:20 (twenty years ago)

So anyway, 'rena held on for the 8-6 final set win, and she's facing Dav, who took yonks to wash up Dishy 2-6 7-6 6-4. We know get Rodge-Madge, and it's at 4-4 in the first, presumably with serve.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

AAARGH

This is like the FIFTH day running of terrible, terrible results, and I don't even like Shaz and Dechy that much! And both came so close, too: Williams eventually won 2-6 7-5 8-6 (saving three match points), and Davenport improbably won 2-6 7-6 6-4 (she never went match point down, though apparently it was 5-5 in the tiebreak). (xpost!)

I don't know who to support now. Serena irritates me marginally less, but if Davenport promises to retire with immediate effect if she wins, I'm all for that. She won't, though, not if she's losing 2-6 sets to Dreary Dechy...

Marat and Roger are at 5-5. I love both these boys so much, so there will be no further emotional trauma today.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

William, have you not gone to bed yet, or did you manage to sleep for only four hours?!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 09:30 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I've got a lecture in a bit, so I could only get away with about four hours. Slept a couple hours previous (last night) anyhow.

fedge takes the first 7-5 but (hold on to yer hats folks) is A BREAK DOWN in the second - Safin 4-2 up...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

And the master drops a set: 6-4 to Safin. OK, that'll do.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

Ooh sexy Safin. Mmmm. I wish I could be watching this.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

Federer breaks to fifteen early in set three.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

Saffy breaks back at the second attempt and holds convincingly for 3-3. Take the phone off the hook, Oz tennis-hawks.

I'm suffering from stats-lag; the stats are always a point behind yr actual score. It's...irksome.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

Safin fends off a b-p to hold for 4-4. I can't keep this up, it's only the third set. Will post again at...11:15-ish.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

Safin had plenty of chances in that 3rd set, but Federer took his. After 2hr37 on court, RF leads 7-5 4-6 7-5 *3-3.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

"Dear work,

As the missus is about to pop I really ought to stay at home with her, on the sofa, in front of the TV, just in case. I'm sure you understand.

Love, Steady Mike"

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

If only this was on TV, I'd be clocking up paternity leave right now.

Only 10 points against the serve in 10 games in set four. Heading towards the t-b. Be interesting (but with Roddick looming, not that interesting) to see how Fedz would handle losing a tight fourth set.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

Every time I look at th score I get the feeling that this is, like, the best tennis match of all time. The two most talented players in the world! Playing against each other! Sob.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Well, dilute my cordial - it's a tie-breaker.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

Argh, IBM Scoreboard is scrolling 'Match Point: Federer' but he's only 3-1 up in the t-b. Who to believe?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

it says 4-2 Fed now...

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

Three-hour mark passes as RF pounces on a 150km/h Safin second-serve: FIVE-TWO.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

I think the 'Match Point' business is a bit of software-glitch red herring. It's FIVE-THREE now.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

FIVE-ALL!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Another mini-break for RF - he'll serve for it at SIX-FIVE.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Oh, GAWD. SIX-ALL.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

Safin breaks and has a s-p of his own at SEVEN-SIX!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

We're going all the way.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

omg did my Marat save a match point?! LOVE. LOVE.

This really is the best match of all time, isn't it? I just ran to the TV in the faint hope that the BBC would acknowledge this, but NO, clearly a programme called Car Booty is of greater importance.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

(Actually, the BBC might be covering its arse, but its game-by-game online account suggests that it's not quite the classic the scoreline would suggest, though that t-b sounded glorious.)

Right now, I'm reminded of Marat's epic victories over Roddick and Agassi last year and how Rodge might not be able to deal with this pressure. Blowing 5-2 with two serves to come - oh, dear.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

I'm just amazed that Saffie had the mental fortitude to come back from 2-5 down. I wish this was the final - if the winner here loses to H****t/R*****k on Sunday, it will have been all for nothing.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

Both hold comfortably at the start of the decider - Saffy to love, Fedz to fifteen.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

Ah, Car Booty - this reminds me, I must one day do that handy explanation guide as to how all the auction shows on telly are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...

Fed at A-40 with break oppo...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

If Fedz wins, I trust him to beat Chew/Dick with ease. If Saffie wins... I don't. Aaargh.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

Two b-ps have gone begging for RF in this game. Marathon third game in the fifth between Bandy and Hewie yesterday too...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

Marat serves big and rides out the crisis - he leads 2-1.

My true colours are now coming to the fore...COME ON, ROGER!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

As are mine Mike... COME ON MARAT!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

This thread is taking years to load. On the one hand, I could curse my exuberance in the early rounds. On the other, I could say THIS IS MEANT TO BE A SODDING HI-SPEED LAN. Grrr.

Fed holds to love, 2-2.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

ILX in general is a snail today :(

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

RF holds to love, MS holds from 15-30 down: 3-2.

Worryingly, RF had treatment for lower back and right arm problems between the 4th and 5th sets and the back is apparently still bothering him.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

Christ, Safin breaks for 4-2. That could be it.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

And holds in the blink of an eye - 5-2! My heart is palpitating.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

Holds to thirty for 5-2. Well, maybe it's better to have Marat somewhere near the top of his game rather than an inconsistent, injury-carrying Federer in the final.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Rodge holds from 15/30. Maybe he just doesn't like it up him? We'll find out in the next three or four minutes.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

LOVE-FIFTEEN.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

And just think Mike: if Marat wins, Fed won't get complacent being so far ahead of everyone else, and will up his game further...

I'd really like to see Roger and Marat emphatically distance themselves from the Llout and the Dick this year.

(xposts)

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

FIFTEEN-ALL.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

(True, but squeezing through this 8-6 in the 5th might eradicate that complacency too).

FIFTEEN-THIRTY.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

THIRTY-ALL.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

FORTY-THIRTY, m-p Safin.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

If Marat wins, all the pressure in the WOO-URLD is on Da Brat - the folks back home will be of the opinion that this is his Best Chance Ever...

Odd, innit, how the men's has suddenly become far more interesting than the women's?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

PALPITATIONS

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

DEUCE.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

GAH DEUCE

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

Huge serve = AD SERVER, m-p #2.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

DEUCE #2.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

RF has a b-p.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

DAMN YOU IBM UPDATE OCCASIONALLY (I have another lecture in a minute and am considering giving it the slip...)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Mike is getting these scores at least half a minute before me!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

MS snuffs it out - DEUCE #3.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

I have a horrid feeling my scoreboard has DIED.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

RF BP #2

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

B-p #2 for RF. Marats gets a first serve in = wins the point. Doesn't = doesn't.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

RF breaks back!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

AAARGH

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

Oh gawd. Fed now has to hold to keep me sat here even longer...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Ah hell, Imm'a have to go to the lecture now. Hopefully this'll stretch for another hour or two.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

William, in your position... this time last year, pretty much... it would never have crossed my mind to go to the lecture!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

30-0 to 30-40!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

A third Safin m-p goes awry. 4-5, DEUCE.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Mine's still on 30-30! I'm just going to start refreshing this thread instead.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Federer holds. We pass the four-hour mark. Midnight in Melbourne looms. Pass the oxygen mask.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

0-15 on the Safserve.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

Saf holds to thirty. 6-5.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

PALPITATIONS, AGAIN

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

RF up 40-15, two chances to level.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

6-6. RF leads 189-177 (stat-lag compensation applied) in points but I don't suppose that's much consolation.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

For the second straight Safin service game, RF has 0/30...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

oh christ

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

B-p Federer.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

my scoreboard has CRASHED

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

I'll keep this going, Lex...

Safin saves the b-p and has AD himself...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

Which he takes to move ahead 7-6.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

0/15 becomes 15/15 on the Federer serve.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

And now 15-40! two more MPs!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

One saved by Fed

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

Rog saves one...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

And the other!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

And the other, aargh

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

And gets the advantage...

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

DEUCE!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Fed holds serve, 7-7

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

7-7. I can't stand this. I'm off to microwave some pasta leftovers and so genuinely appear to be on my lunch break.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT JONES

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Saffie 30-0 up on his serve.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Safin holds to fifteen with the help of his 16th ace. 8-7. Right, I need to EAT.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

Microwave is in use - gah...will I last to the next change-of-ends? Will there be another change-of-ends?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

Maybe not...Federer is love-30 down.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

Safin has 0-30 on Fed's serve!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

15-30

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

15-40, TWO MORE MATCH POINTS

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

the sixth and seventh for Marat!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Saves one...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

YES! SAFFIE WINS!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

on his seventh match point, final score 5-7 6-4 5-7 7-6 9-7.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

But not the other.

Safin 5-7 6-4 5-7 7-6 9-7. 4hr27.

Tennis, bloody hell.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

That was quite something.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Safin-Hewitt head-to-head: 5-5.
Safin-Roddick head-to-head: 2-3.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Safin beat Roddick here last year, and this time he's surely much more confident. Hewitt... hmm.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

All that matters to me now is a Hewitt victory tomorrow. I want a final I can enjoy and the presence of Roddick can't provide that (not until somewhere near the end of his humiliation, anyway).

I guess this is good for RF in the long term. I think he'll eventually do the Slam and it saves all the tedious arguments if he does a nice tidy calendar-year one in 2006 rather than retaining this title and winning at Roland Garros and folks worrying about what that constitutes (see Tiger Woods, Martina N, Serena, etc).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

yes: I want Fed to do the Grand Slam too, but I think taking 7 out of 8 consecutive Slams in 04-05 would wear a tiny bit thin even for me.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

I should've stayed, I nearly bloody fell asleep...

Bluh-dee hell, anyway. I may not be going out for a while.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 27 January 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

I've just realised - I haven't actually managed to predict a single thing correctly thus far this thread.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:00 (twenty years ago)

Roddick leads Hewitt 6-3 *2-3. Pandy has hit 16 aces (including a perfect game of four and has fended off seven b-ps, all I suspect with service winners). We can but hope he tosses in a few doubles and that shoulder starts to ache.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

An 8th b-p goes begging as Anita thumps down aces #17 and #18. I have a horrible feeling I know how this going to go. The final, too.

Let's see if things are any brighter at 10:30...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt takes the 2nd set t-b. C'MON.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Lleyton. He hits three double-faults to drop serve early in set three. The pendulum swings the other way and he's just flapping at it.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

First sign that the Roddick ace-machine may be running out of gas - a couple of doubles under pressure and Lleyts (who, judging from some of the calls, hasn't got any Mmates on the lines) breaks back. Holds to thirty for 4-4.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

AR gets an early lead in the Inevitable Tie-Breaker but chucks in a few stiff-armed wayward groundies and LH pulls clear to nail it 7-4. Hewitt up 3-6 7-6 7-6 *0-0 in 1hr58.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:13 (twenty years ago)

Lleyton breaks to fifteen to lead 2-0 in set four. Chickens, counting, hatched, etc.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

Bacca holds for 4-1 after facing his first b-p this set.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

Fuck Hewitt. He doesn't deserve to win.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

'Deserve'.

He breaks again - 5-1.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Pandy: Good night, children.

LH thru 3-6 7-6 7-6 6-1. Excellent.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

Seriously, I can't think of anybody I'd like less to win the open. He's a bratty fuckwit.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

I'm kind of with Andrew here - I really really hope Lleyt's no Charlotte Corday in waiting. Go Saffy!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 28 January 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

b-b-but Andrew's the Lleyton Hewett of ilm!

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 28 January 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

Fuck you.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

the Llout is indeed a bratty fuckwit, but still preferable to Roddick because everyone on this planet is. I left the house when Chewitt was down a set and have been pleasantly surprised by this result. Saffie had better beat him, though.

Australians? Australians? Where are you? Do you not know that you have a HOME GRAND SLAM CHAMPION already? Your Leece, in tandem with my Sveta, are the women's doubles titlists, beating Davenport the Dull and her partner in straight sets. Woo!

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 28 January 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

I am an Australian, and most my Australian friends hate the guy. Roddick at least has some sort of social grace.

I was mighty impressed with Molik's performance, but disappointed that Davenport took her down (that poor linesmanship on her third ace in a row really destroyed her momentum).

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

Andrew i wanted him to win and i want him to win on sunday too!

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

and i think he's grown up a bit

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

And I think you still owe me an explanation for drawing a parallel between me and that guy.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

young, talented, top of his game, australian...jeesh.

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

overly sensitive?

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

Well when you put it like that I find it very difficult to be pissed off about it.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Although I'm not sure which game I'm on top of... I didn't even know I had a game.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Haha I knew I shouldn't've stayed up to watch that final. In a nutshell, because both of them have just about sent me to sleep: Serena was injured in the first set (back, I think) - crying with frustration, called the trainer out &c - but it wasn't too serious and by the end she was hitting more freely. Second set went with serve until 3-4 to Serena (Serena's serve at 2-2 was a mammoth game, but she pulled through): Davenport went 40-0 up in that game, contrived to miss the easiest backhand put-away in the world, double faulted, and once she was broken decided to GIVE UP. Yes, that's right, give up. In a Grand Slam final. Serena's confidence obviously went sky-high, and by the end of the match Davenport was barely running for balls, and committing errors with the ones she could reach by sticking her racket out. Possibly one of the more pathetic displays from a 'top player' I've seen: at least all other 126 losers put some bloody effort into their matches. I hope Davenport retires out of shame.

Serena is totally back, though.

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 29 January 2005 04:23 (twenty years ago)

it was strangely lacklustre.

― bulbs (bulbs), Saturday, 29 January 2005 05:22 (twenty years ago)

Oh. Thought they were having all the singles finals at night (7:30-ish)? Presumably JJ Lleyt-O's (possible) ascent to glory will be getting the floodlit treatment, tho.

Interesting to see what happens when (if?) the Belgians come back, and if ver Russian lasses can pull themselves back up after a tournament that, for them, has been altogether stunningly rub. It just seemed to run out of steam on the women's half, possibly because it just never seemed like Davenport would win. Ever. Still, newly-redoubled Serena definitely shakes things up one hell of a lot, because lots of games are gonna have to get severely raised. Again.

Mens doubles final and THE BRYAN TWINS ARE A SET DOWN! YES!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 29 January 2005 05:45 (twenty years ago)

yeah the mens is "the first night final" or somesuch. my 6 yr old is sad.

― bulbs (bulbs), Saturday, 29 January 2005 06:35 (twenty years ago)

And THE BRYAN TWINS LOSE! I don't particularly care for doubles, but the Bryan twins just have something deeply annoying about them that makes their failure bring me a bit of glee. The winners were The Fantastic Zimbabweans, Wayne Black and Kevin Ullyett, 6-4 6-4.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 29 January 2005 06:55 (twenty years ago)

That was extraordinarily depressing - I taped it and started to fast-forward at 2-0 in the decider. It was building up to be such a good contest; Serena's back woes were gone, Lindsay was maintaining incredible depth on her groundstrokes, the six b-ps she had and lost in game five of set two didn't seem to have thrown her and then... that 40-love game. She lost ten points in a row, the set and apparently any interest in competing. After she hit the double fault to go 6-2 3-4 (40/30), there was the first hint of irritation and John Barrett trotted out the old story about Robert Van't Hof walking out of one of her matches vs Mauresmo in disgust at her demeanour ("No sign of that here.") Gah...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Saturday, 29 January 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

yeah the mens is "the first night final" or somesuch. my 6 yr old is sad.

That's rotten luck (6-year-olds all over Europe are lovin' it, though). Couldn't you let him/her stay up as a special treat? I was always allowed to stay up for the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show but I've never fully forgiven my older brother for adhering so rigidly to gallivanting parents' instructions and sending me bedwards at one set all in the 1981 US Open final.

Just remembered another crucial moment in that women's final: the epic Serena service game at 2-6 2-2 when she saved the sixth b-p with an ace - tho' the net cord monitor clearly sounded. Maybe Lindsay used up all her luck with decisions from the chair vs Molik.

I'd totally forgotten that Mark Edmondson - in '76 - was the last Aussie men's champ until Andrew Castle reminded me this morning. I was thinking of Newk's surprise victory over Federer-of-that-moment Jimmy Connors in the previous year's final. The event started on Boxing Day back then and had a 64 draw, of which THIRTY-SEVEN were Aussies. Ken Rosewall was top seed, at the age of 41. The entire last eight were Australian. Maybe "Open" was a bit of a stretch, chaps? I think this was probably the start of the Kooyong wilderness years - ended in '83 when Lendl, McEnroe and Wilander all decided to fly Qantas to duke it out for #1. It hasn't floundered since Flinders.

Although Dicky Rod went one round better than '04, I imagine Hewie's now done enough to unseat him as #2. If Safin wins, will they both overtake the Omaha Omahgodhestedious?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Saturday, 29 January 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

Dammit Lindsay. I really really want her to win one more. Don;t get the haters on this thread. She's a hero. That match against Dechy was great viewing, although she should have finshed her off sooner.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Saturday, 29 January 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

The girls and the boys have now come out to play, and yr champions are Victoria Azarenka (matches played: 6; sets lost: 0; games lost: 20) and Donald Young.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

And Australia goes 1 for 1 thus far, with victory in the mixed doubles for Scoddy and The Stoat.

The final - it is underway!

Hewie cops the early breaks, and is 3-1 up and serving.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

Hewie takes the first six-one. eek. Then Safin comes back and is 5-3 up in the second and serving...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 09:57 (twenty years ago)

Mmm, Safin takes the second set. This match is delightful.

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 30 January 2005 09:59 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt's 3-0 up in the third though. Presumably it's a battle to see who can make it more of a struggle for themselves...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

And so Marat decides he's had enough of that lark and breaks back WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE - 5-4 up, serving out for the set...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

I love Marat so much. His puppy-dog eyes and semi-pout when he's complaining to the umpire and wants to get his way! Awwww. And when he smashes his racket, rowr. And he's totally silenced the Chewitt çome on!'s, which can only be a good thing/

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 30 January 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

I'm too afraid to watch.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 30 January 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

And that's two sets to one up for the mighty Russian battleship... thing is, there's no way this is going less than five sets, is there? It just wouldn't be right...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 10:57 (twenty years ago)

It would be fantastic were Marat to wrap this up now.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 30 January 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

He's a break up in the fourth and playing rather well. That rally he broke the Chewitt serve with - ohhhh, ohhhh, so sweet.

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 30 January 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

It must be said, I do fear Chewitt's comeback skillz. Safin's been pressuring the Hewitt serve regularly throughout this set, but hasn't got the double break...

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 30 January 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

AND HE'S DONE IT! IN LESS THAN FIVE SETS! NO TIE BREAKS OR ANYTHING! CRIKEY!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 30 January 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

C'MON!!!!!!1

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 30 January 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

Well done Marat! I love him so much.

ROLL OF HONOUR!

Men's singles: Marat Safin
Women's singles: Serena Williams
Men's doubles: Wayne Black and Kevin Ullyett
Women's doubles: Svetlana Kuznetsova and Alicia Molik
Mixed doubles: Scott Draper and Samantha Stosur
Boys' singles: Donald Young
Girls' singles: Victoria Azarenka
Boys' doubles: Sun-Yong Kim and Chu-Huan Yi
Girls' doubles: Victoria Azarenka and Marina Erakovic

It's been a great two weeks!

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 30 January 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

Lots of great points but when safin got it together after an awful start there was no stopping him.

Hewitt should've apologized to the linesman in his speech, maybe? Don't know how bad that was.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 30 January 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

Sorry I wasn't contributing to the as-it-happens men's-final chatter but...Taking Sides: scurrying back-and-forth between chilly living room and chillier office vs cosy-in-bed watching it on the portable.

Some really great stuff in there - 30-stroke rallies, Lleyt's llobs, Safin's net-touch and it was especially sweet that LH's supreme moment of crowing petulance (the jabbing finger at the baseline judge after his screaming forehand pass to save a foot-fault induced b-p) was actually the beginning of the end for him. Ding-dong MS-RF rivalry to see out the '00s, please.

Best Grand Slam since Wimbledon 2001?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Sunday, 30 January 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, it may well have been but I wouldn't know! We haven't had a decent women's final for so long, though... Australian 02 was probably the last though.

Women's ranks, post-AO:

1. Lindsay Davenport
2. Serena Williams
3. Amelie Mauresmo
4. Maria Sharapova
5. Anastasia Myskina
6. Svetlana Kuznetsova
7. Elena Dementieva
8. Venus Williams
9. Jennifer Capriati
10. Alicia Molik
11. Vera Zvonareva
12. Nadia Petrova
13. Nathalie Dechy
14. Patty Schnyder
15. Justine Henin-Hardenne
16. Elena Bovina
17. Karolina Sprem
18. Silvia Farina Elia
19. Francesca Schiavone
20. Paola Suarez

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 30 January 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

Safin sooo earnt that position. The man was incredible.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

In the end Hewitt just ran out of steam. How much he wasted in that ridiculous confrontation with the linesperson who foot-faulted him is unknown. (Was the foot that faulted the same one that he rammed into his mouth later? In the close-up of Hewitt, I thought I lip-read the word 'hero'. If that was right he was lucky not to drop the point there and then.)

But notwithstanding that, Lleyton grew immeasurably in my eyes over the first 13 days of the tournament and (strictly as a player) didn't give much ground back on day 14 either. As usual, he found a better man in better form. But these days that takes him twice as long as it used to. His serving has improved out of sight, he has added strength to his speed, and he is hitting the ball harder and working it more.

Safin obviously had a magic tournament and is dangerous enough to have Rodge looking over his shoulder. I doubt whether Hewitt is, improvement and all, and as for the Head, his last set v Hewitt will possibly be either the 'bottoming out' or the beginning of the end. The lack of variety and Plan B in his game needs addressing if there is ever to be a new, 'happy ending' version of that (mildly entertaining the first 100 times) Qantas ad.

Time to get a bit contro; I am understanding the anti-Head general sentiment less and less. It can't be just because he's American because otherwise Sampras, Agassi and Blake and countless others would be in the same black book. Or because he's ugly (he's no worse than Federer, makeover and all) or boring (compared with Henman or Chang or Sampras?) or because he's unsportsmanlike or overseen in himself (as far as I have seen he isn't either).

Maybe it's because he's the Jinx of the Oz. The last three years the beaten finalist has knocked him over on the way through.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:09 (twenty years ago)

Time to get a bit contro; I am understanding the anti-Head general sentiment less and less. It can't be just because he's American

Is this Roddick you're talking about?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Rod-Dick-Head.

If he had a more volatile temperament you could make it Rod-Dick-Head-Case I suppose.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:16 (twenty years ago)

fuck i might have to reverse my position on lleyt. after the footfault incident i realised he's still a fucking dick and started wanting Safin to win.

plus is it just me or...has he got john howard eyebrows and eyes?

― bulbs (bulbs), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:17 (twenty years ago)

That is a nightmare image: John Howard with his cap on backwards like Charlie Brown. Eeek!

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:20 (twenty years ago)

Anti-Head sentiment: a lot of it to do with his game which is horrible, horrible, horrible to watch. I've never been a fan of big servers (Goran excepted, but Goran's an exception generally), and Roddick's big serve is just extreme. He doesn't even have a graceful serving action like Goran and even Sampras did - it's all muscle and force, no thought. He's completely tactically vacant, though actually this can be amusing when he tries to play on clay. Plus his on-court behaviour is obnoxious and brash - he's childish and petulant, and that high-fiving fans incident still makes me cringe.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

I watch Andy Roddick and just shake my head out how he has basically conspired (along with his coaches, I guess) to keep himself from being the best tennis player in the world. How do you serve 140mph and basically do NOTHING with it if you don't get an ace? If he'd worked on hitting his backhand one-handed when he was in his teens (or even his freakin' twenties) he might not be such a lost cause in these big matches cuz he could YA KNOW volley a little (OR A LOT--JESUS 140 MILES PER HOUR and he basically just watches it)!?!?! He really is utterly depressing to watch for me, a pitiful example of wasted talent (esp. cuz he always seems nice enough and pretty genial in post-match interviews even when he's lost or at least lost to Federer--it would definitely be less disappointing if he was a totally obv cock like Hewitt haha.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Hello! I am sort of online! The Safin/Federer match was such an awesome spectacle, I'm glad it produced the winer. You've got to beat the man (Federer) to be the man, or some such.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

Not sure whose tank was more disappointing: Roddick's or Davenport's. Lindsay's was in the final and was a bagel so I guess that's worse, but Lindsay also has more and better excuses.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:34 (twenty years ago)

Could someone please describe the incident with the linesman that ocurred during last night's match?

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:34 (twenty years ago)

this one?

hewett did a footfault and it got called. he won the point and then marched over toward the linesman pointing viciously and looking angry. i dunno what he said. it appeared like just a stupid attempt to intimidate the linesman. the relays showed it was a footfault. he got called on one later too.

― bulbs (bulbs), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:51 (twenty years ago)

Yeah. Hewitt was well steamed up last night.

Yes. Rod-Dick-Head.

If he had a more volatile temperament you could make it Rod-Dick-Head-Case I suppose.

Wah, I like Roddick, he's nice. Ugly, yes.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:56 (twenty years ago)

Hewitt was called on a foot fault (correctly as shown on the replays). It put him on break point. He won the next point, then jabbed his finger at the linesperson three or four times (at fairly longish range I think, we never saw the linesman and him in the same shot, but he was also screaming his head off). He was given a code violation by the central ump, which meant if he opened his mouth again he'd have been docked a point and then we'd have been in McEnroe 1990 territory if he still didn't pull his head in after that.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

He really is utterly depressing to watch for me, a pitiful example of wasted talent

Fair does, he's still young, he's got loads of potential. If he hadn't aced himself mental in the first two sets he'd have been all right later on.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

I don't see it. I almost think it's a fluke that he got the one major he did. His record against Hewitt and Federer is abyssmal. And I don't see anything that indicates to me that he has the capacity to make the kind of adjustments to his game that would allow him to beat the top players. He's in fantastic condition. He's got strong groundstrokes and a brutal first serve, but he doesn't do anything with them. He's almost entirely reactive. And I think it's probably too late for him to learn how to play any different.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 January 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

Probably. I dunno.

But yeah, he plays the one game and does it well, but if someone shakes him he's got nothing to fall back on.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 02:20 (twenty years ago)

If he'd worked on hitting his backhand one-handed when he was in his teens (or even his freakin' twenties)

Isn't he 22 or 23?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 31 January 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

Yep.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 05:20 (twenty years ago)

Going on 23 is pretty late in the tennis world to be making game alterations of the size that Roddick needs to make. Being the fourth or fifth best player is nothing to sneeze at, but the big difference between Andy Roddick being the #3/#4 player in the world and oh McEnroe or Lendl or Edberg or Wilander when they were #3 or #4 is that you always got the feeling that either 1) they could always win a given match on most surfaces against the #1 or #2 players or 2) that EVENTUALLY they had games that were going to allow them to get over that hump and really be the #1 or #2 players. I don't see Roddick beating Federer (especially) or Hewitt at a Grand Slam level now and the difference between those two guys and Roddick in terms of game is so vast that at this point I can't imagine him pulling a McEnroe or a Lendl where they slowly, but surely got the upper hand ever (McEnroe over Borg and then Lendl over McEnroe himself.) And this isn't Agassi where only Pete is just an edge better than him in the big ones. These guys beat Roddick like a drum wherever they play. And I don't invision that (or him) changing.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 January 2005 05:57 (twenty years ago)

Agassi got loads better after 23. So anything's possible.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 06:00 (twenty years ago)

Not game-wise though. He still played almost exactly the same. Mostly his nerves steadied and he worked on his fitness for longer matches. Also Andre had been HEAVILY favored in the 3 majors he lost prior to 23 (well 4 actually--but no one really thought he was better than Pete after that Open US shellacking.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 January 2005 06:08 (twenty years ago)

agassi got discipline after 23, he always had the game didn't he? (xpost)

― haitch, man? (haitch), Monday, 31 January 2005 06:10 (twenty years ago)

Fair enough. Well I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being, because he's nice and he can serve like nobody's business.

xpost

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 06:10 (twenty years ago)

Discipline? Did he?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 06:12 (twenty years ago)

Just to clarify on the LH foot-fault (I watched the tape again yesterday afternoon) - LH was already b-p down when he 'aced' and was called for f-f. We then had a 31-stroke rally off his 2nd serve which ended with a scorching LH forehand winner and the finger-jabbing. So the whole thing was a touch bizarre, kinda "See? I won the point anyway!"

Alex and Lex pretty OTM wrt Roddick.

I'd mostly agree that Agassi's up and downs have chiefly been fitness issues. There have been (at least) four phases of Agassi greatness: 1988-90's emergence and the 1994-95/1999-2k/2003 spells at #1. I'd be hard-pressed to identify material changes in his game amongst the last three but he was a much more guileless, one-dimensional free-hitter in his teens.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 31 January 2005 09:52 (twenty years ago)

the difference between those two guys and Roddick in terms of game is so vast that at this point I can't imagine him pulling a McEnroe or a Lendl where they slowly, but surely got the upper hand ever (McEnroe over Borg and then Lendl over McEnroe himself.) And this isn't Agassi where only Pete is just an edge better than him in the big ones. These guys beat Roddick like a drum wherever they play. And I don't invision that (or him) changing.

Also, with those rivalries a different player would tend to have the edge depending on the surface - eg Lendl on clay, McEnroe on grass, and actually Agassi's negative record with Sampras is slightly skewed by the fact that they mostly played on Sampras-favouring surfaces because Sampras rarely got far enough to play Agassi on clay (only 5 of their 34 matches were on the red stuff!). With Roddick vs Federer/Hewitt/Safin... Roddick's best surface would probably be hard courts, which Hewitt and Safin both favour as well; his serve is the most effective on grass, which Federer is pre-eminent on. Players like Ferrero and Coria have more of a chance to win Slams right now, because if Federer/Safin/Hewitt have a weakness it's definitely clay. Roddick, on the other hand, is the most inept top 10 (maybe top 20!) player on clay.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 31 January 2005 10:09 (twenty years ago)

Oh and GOSSIP: Chewitt has, it would seem, proposed to the plastic who's been in his box this past fortnight. Technically, they've only been dating since he split up with the Clidge, i.e. a couple of months ago. I think it is rather more plausible that they've been together a little while longer, especially as he's known her for five years, and the Clidge kicked his ass to the kerb when she found out.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 31 January 2005 10:14 (twenty years ago)

It was on the front of the free paper on the way home! The headline: "REBOUND ACE"

― haitch, man? (haitch), Monday, 31 January 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

Yesterday's Ten News poll: 'Should Hewitt have proposed after eight weeks of courting?'

LIKE IT'S ANYONE'S BUSINESS.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

is she a porn star? she looks like a porn star.

― bulbs (bulbs), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

I think she's a Home and Away actress which probably reuires less acting ability.

Talking of porn stars, this is apparently what Jennifer Capriati has been getting up to while everyone else was playing tennis...

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

nice resume

― bulbs (bulbs), Monday, 31 January 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

There does seems to be a certain theme to Mr DeBone's titles.

How that can be connected to Jeno deCrappiati I can but guess....

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

Yesterday's Ten News poll asks the tough questions.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

How that can be connected to Jeno deCrappiati I can but guess....

She likes anal?

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 00:50 (twenty years ago)

Also, Hewitt's gf for the curious. She's actually quite hot:

http://www.girl.com.au/img/beccartwright_wallpaper.jpg

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)


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