IT'S APRIL FOOLS DAY

(psst it really is, here)

-- ken c (pykachu100@hotmail.com), April 1st, 2005 01:50 AM. (ken c) (later)

Yeah right. Go download "Doctor Who" !

"It's not even funny"

EEEELEVEN

"We're talking about power"

EEEELEVEN

Battle alien marsupials? Ha!

I live in london and i have a picture of myself that i could invariably post to this thread.

(just kidding, it's still hari) (april fool!)

it'll still work.

it's just a MOD having a good april fool joke.

You think about destruction...

Okay, We Give Up

There's no easy way to admit this. For years, helpful letter writers told us to stick to science. They pointed out that science and politics don't mix. They said we should be more balanced in our presentation of such issues as creationism, missile defense and global warming. We resisted their advice and pretended not to be stung by the accusations that the magazine should be renamed Unscientific American, or Scientific Unamerican, or even Unscientific Unamerican. But spring is in the air, and all of nature is turning over a new leaf, so there's no better time to say: you were right, and we were wrong.

In retrospect, this magazine's coverage of socalled evolution has been hideously one-sided. For decades, we published articles in every issue that endorsed the ideas of Charles Darwin and his cronies. True, the theory of common descent through natural selection has been called the unifying concept for all of biology and one of the greatest scientific ideas of all time, but that was no excuse to be fanatics about it.

Where were the answering articles presenting the powerful case for scientific creationism? Why were we so unwilling to suggest that dinosaurs lived 6,000 years ago or that a cataclysmic flood carved the Grand Canyon? Blame the scientists. They dazzled us with their fancy fossils, their radiocarbon dating and their tens of thousands of peer-reviewed journal articles. As editors, we had no business being persuaded by mountains of evidence.

Moreover, we shamefully mistreated the Intelligent Design (ID) theorists by lumping them in with creationists. Creationists believe that God designed all life, and that's a somewhat religious idea. But ID theorists think that at unspecified times some unnamed superpowerful entity designed life, or maybe just some species, or maybe just some of the stuff in cells. That's what makes ID a superior scientific theory: it doesn't get bogged down in details.

Good journalism values balance above all else. We owe it to our readers to present everybody's ideas equally and not to ignore or discredit theories simply because they lack scientifically credible arguments or facts. Nor should we succumb to the easy mistake of thinking that scientists understand their fields better than, say, U.S. senators or best-selling novelists do. Indeed, if politicians or special-interest groups say things that seem untrue or misleading, our duty as journalists is to quote them without comment or contradiction. To do otherwise would be elitist and therefore wrong. In that spirit, we will end the practice of expressing our own views in this space: an editorial page is no place for opinions.

Get ready for a new Scientific American. No more discussions of how science should inform policy. If the government commits blindly to building an anti-ICBM defense system that can't work as promised, that will waste tens of billions of taxpayers' dollars and imperil national security, you won't hear about it from us. If studies suggest that the administration's antipollution measures would actually increase the dangerous particulates that people breathe during the next two decades, that's not our concern. No more discussions of how policies affect science eitherâ"so what if the budget for the National Science Foundation is slashed? This magazine will be dedicated purely to science, fair and balanced science, and not just the science that scientists say is science. And it will start on April Fools' Day.

A NEW Google program powered by artificial intelligence allows internet users to search web pages 24 hours before they're created, the company said today.

Google Australia said the new beta search technology which drives the gDay search feature can accurately predict future internet content – and even future events.

The gDay technology – developed in the company's Sydney engineering centre – uses machine learning and artificial intelligence techniques from a system called MATE, or Machine Automated Temporal Extrapolation.

http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,25642,23460961-5014239,00.html

That reminds me of what they did in Latvia in 1996. I can't believe they got away with it but in retrospect, I give they deserve a medal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/origami-in-orbit/2008/03/31/1206850786582.html

u_u

just kidding - it's still March 31st

aaaaarghhhh you!

but...

Louis Jagger died in hospital on Monday evening, we're keeping his profile up for another week in case you want to pay condolences. 1h ago

French President Nicolas Sarkozy is to have pioneering stretch surgery in a bid to make him taller.

The 5ft 5ins leader has contacted a leading Swiss laboratory because he has become so paranoid about his frame.

Doctors reckon they will be able to add an amazing FIVE INCHES to his height in just over a year.

When surgery is completed he will be an inch taller than his stunning ex-model wife Carla Bruni.

Sarkozy, 53, was ridiculed on last week’s state visit to Britain for being so short.

He had elevated heels in his shoes while wife Carla, 40, wore a flat pair of pumps.

The method, Stature Augmentation Treatment, was developed on guinea pigs by Israeli academic Professor Ura Schmuck.

http://thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article983556.ece

A NEW Google program powered by artificial intelligence allows internet users to search web pages 24 hours before they're created, the company said today.

so bad. come on.

the sarkozy one is terrible too. put some effort into it ppl.

The today programme's was a story on how Gordon Brown had appointed Carla Bruni-Sarkozy to run a comission on improving the style of the british people. John humphries was particularly unimpressesd about reading that out.

That was out of the Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2008/apr/01/7

april fools, I'm gonna hack this site so that no past threads will ever be searchabble again mother suckers. its all over now

ah try harder. Hack it so we can only search future threads.

So this isn't one?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article983718.ece

I know, the whole papers a joke etc...

Wonderful comments: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=552448&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770&expand=true

"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"You couldn't make it up!"

Until now it was the preserve of the rich. Hollywood women would plan “G-Shot parties"

Would women go to parties just so they could all, um, come together?

This is more like it!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/01/teacher_head_explosion_april_fool/

So's this but would be awezome if true, actually:

http://www.nme.com/news/amy-winehouse/35547

"You couldn't make it up!"

yes, this is either a very clever comment or a, er, not so clever comment.

I'm glad they did something better than the US suing the UK over cruel and unusual flash website surveys.

xpost

Yahoo France just announced Seb Chabal was joining the New England Patriots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23qDl1aH9l4

that Amy Winehouse story sounds true (whether it is or not): just the kind of UK-celeb-now / vaguely humorous type thing that Dr Who nowadays is all about?

i had assumed the 'UBS boss out amid £9.6bn writedown' was joeks :/

That Guardian April Fool was all too plausible, sadly.

but this comment;

"We have been working absolutely round the clock, from 9am to 3pm, just to keep up."

is just ace

the sarkozy one is terrible too. put some effort into it ppl.

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:26 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

If anything it'd be hard to tell when the sun's doing an april fool and when it's attempting proper journalism.

rickrolling on youtube.. snooze
i hate april fool's day. it always seems to inspire boring losers to come up with something "wacky".

"Gmail Custom Time"

Zzz... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzz...zz....

FUCK APRIL FOOL.

Got an email at work titled "EDDIE MURPHY FOUND DEAD".

I believed it for about two seconds.

If someone forwards that Google toilet internet page around again, I'm going to start throwing bodies off the roof

ytmnd.com

I'm going to eat some foul madammas now

NOT REALLY, LOL

Google Weblogs, or “GWeblogs,” or “Gblogs,” which will launch later this year in a public beta, is the next revolution in personal publishing. Here’s what you can expect:

* Don’t limit yourself to “reverse chronological” publishing. Our advanced Google algorithms put your best content at the top of your blog. Even if your later work goes downhill your previous posts will still shine.
* No more template languages to mess with or sidebars to get right. Our advanced Google algorithms automatically populate your blog’s sidebar with the most relevant possible content.
* Stop worrying about your PageRank or your search engine optimization. Post directly into Google search results for maximum visibility.
* Save your readers time and effort. We’ll automatically extract the most relevant sentence from your post for the index page, along with any necessary ellipsis. We'll also put some words in bold!
* Your blog’s header will stay fresh with new images from our team of artists, each and every anniversary of a scientific achievement.
* Unsure of what to post about? Just click “I’m Feeling Lucky” and we’ll “take care” of the rest!

Excited? So are we! Take a look at this sneak peek of Blogger Buzz, powered by Google Weblogs.

We’ve put together a quick video tour to take you through the highlights of Google Weblogs. Check it out! <rickroll>

http://www.dvdbeaver.com/Beavers_initial_Blu-ray_line.htm

^^ oh hahaha you made it up.

Smell your terabytes.

https://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/nose/

http://i.imgur.com/kjQGSFS.png

LOL

https://twitter.com/waxpancake/status/715747304444002304

Just got my first accidental mic drop e-mail from a business contact in Nepal i'm trying to set up a meeting with so great job everybody.

Huh. That's maybe the dumbest business decision I've encountered in ages. I honestly cannot believe that.

I was so in disbelief on that because I feared it might be a prank within a prank (ie discussing a Google mic drop prank that never happened and conning people into believing it did). this is why I hate AFD.

I always dread the possibility of having legit bad news on a day like this because when I tell people I then have to go through the rigmarole of saying "NOTE THIS IS NOT AN AFD PRANK" and having friends believe more and more that it is the more I deny it.

I was so in disbelief on that because I feared it might be a prank within a prank (ie discussing a Google mic drop prank that never happened and conning people into believing it did). this is why I hate AFD.

I was certain of it before I read Shari's post.

and even then - HOW FAR DOES THE LIE GO????

Yep, not only is this pretty stupid given how widely gmail is used for business, the fact that it apparently blocks responses is astonishingly badly thought through.

Had i not checked this thread on the way to work and read about the complaints, i'd have responded directly to the guy's message and proposed a time to meet. He'd have never received the e-mail and i'd have assumed the meeting was off.

yeah, this is a weird day for me to tell people that it's my last day on the job before starting my ~dream job~

thanks for hiring me for april 4 start date, boss

thats na xp to neanderthal re: " having legit bad news on a day like this because when I tell people I then have to go through the rigmarole" (altho not bad news in this case)

this is the worst day of the yr after the lose-an-hr daylight savings and st Patricks day in most large American cities

This was extremely unoriginal: https://www.reddit.com/r/webcomics/comments/4cu0cn/april_fools_day_duplicate_comics/

I fell for the April Fool's joke about Steve McLaren getting the Villa job today

i gotta admit, i fell for the joke that gmail shipped a ridiculously damaging button

should i venture out on the town tonight or am i just going to get tricked, hoodwinked, bamboozled?

If your Friday hangout is a Three Card Monte table...

Ikea

I can't imagine a more unpleasant place to be drunk than IKEA

I can't imagine a more unpleasant place to be drunk than IKEA

I've never been to ikea

Autocorrect wanted that to be "I've never been to okra"

Happy humour day everyone

if you were drunk in ikea you could have a lie down tho

never having to go to ikea definitely on the plus side of the being a singleton chart tho

Dang, go find an Ikea thread!

Google

looks like something you'd see in ikea

pleasantly surprised to see most of my friends sauntering along like it's a normal day today. cos it is. and the "I'm pregnant"/"omg I like Trump now" joekz just aren't funny.

Funnily enough, we are just about to go to IKEA in about 30 mins. Will show the ready of the fam, this.

Finally! April Fool's Day has been satisfactorily co-opted by gigantic corporations for our greater enjoyment.

Nothing funny has happened today yet. It's raining meh.

i dunno, i assume Alfred bigging up the Arctic Monkeys is a joke

got a push notification from the weather channel app that said "Check out the forecast for the next 90 days!" someone had to point the joke out to me...

this fooled me

http://county10.com/first-90-kangaroos-released-in-wyoming/

hot topic sending people clicking on its "new dating app" to a list of body pillows is a p good own

classic humour

that was an untrue statement which is the same as funny today

It's raining meh.

Hallelujah.

Nobody seems to be really into posting fake news stories in 2017 for some reason

Ah, I see what you done there