Why do men masturbate more than women?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I mean, this may not be true, and feel free to argue the contrary, but I think it probably is true. I've had girlfriends who've told me they hardly masturbated at all. Whereas I doubt if ANY man goes for long without an orgasm, and if masturbation turns out to be the only way to have one, then so be it.

But why? Simple biology? Do men have a greater need/desire for orgasms than women?

― Benjamin Biolay, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Easier access.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

Women are better looking

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

More comedy potential.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

we're too competetive

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

We all don't have dicks growing out of our arms.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

Disarming the nocturnal discharge bomb

― Øystein (Øystein), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

RELEASE THE SCHLONGVISHNU

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Oh I hate you for that, Steve M.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

This is a good question. If I was a woman, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off it.

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

Female sexuality is less abstract than male sexuality. I mean, women don't much go to prostitutes either. (btw my girlfriend is a freelancer who works at home and she once told me that most days she takes a nap and has a wank after lunch. So she probably wanks more than I do)

― azerty, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

PRANA ON T'S

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:41 (twenty years ago)

Are you this Benjamin Biolay?

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

she once told me that most days she takes a nap and has a wank after lunch

When you get to my age you need a nap after a wank.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

Life should just be napping alternated with wanking.

― Alix with an i? (alix), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

B-b-but the eating and drinking! That's important too, right?

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Are you this Benjamin Biolay?

On se connaît?

― Benjamin Biolay, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

Ok, life should go like this - nap-wank-eat-nap-wank-drink-nap-wank-drink-eat-nap-wank-eat-eat-nap-wank-drink-drink-wank-nap-wank-wank.

― Alix with an i? (alix), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

It seems like human males are generally expected to wank habitually.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

of course if you're Nick Southall the two are not mutually exclusive

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

P.S. I am wanking as I write this

― Sir Anthony Hopkins (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

My girlfriend likes to masturbate while I watch her. Does that count?

― Henry Y., Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

We'll be right over.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

Tu aurais dû intitulé ce thread, "Why are men bigger wankers?"

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Do you reckon nuns have wank habits?

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Je ne peux pas me permettre d'imaginer qu'un artiste d'une telle stature passerait ses jours discutant la masturbation sur un site Web comme ceci!

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

My point exactly.

― Alix with an i? (alix), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

it's like wiping your arse with silk

― Merovingiang (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

It's good for your prostate to wank (men only)

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

Are there benefits for Ladywank?

― Alix with an i? (alix), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

when is their new album out?

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

Je ne peux pas me permettre d'imaginer qu'un artiste d'une telle stature passerait ses jours discutant de la masturbation sur un site Web comme ceci!

Ce sont seulement les artistes de ta stature qui peuvent s'en permettre?

― Benjamin Biolay, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

Ladywank mitigates the pain of period cramping, doesn't it?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

Ce sont seulement les artistes de ta stature qui peuvent s'en permettre?

pwnroffle.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

it's the italics on 'ta' which make me rigoler.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

34 answers and still only 1 answer - and that was an abstraction about how abstract female sexuality is. I'm genuinly interested.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

Why would you want to do a Ladywank when's there's blood and yuk about?

― Alix with an i? (alix), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

um, xpost.

― Alix with an i? (alix), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

Wear marigolds.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

Because they have bigger nobs.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

34 answers and still only 1 answer - and that was an abstraction about how abstract female sexuality is. I'm genuinly interested.

"Easier access" is a serious answer.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

if i were a girl, i'd spend all my wages on dildos.
girls are so lucky, they don't have to mop up after a session + they get to do many, we get one go. and when that's over, you get to feel guilty & dirty for at least 10 mins.

― cavern (cavern1), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

we get one go. and when that's over, you get to feel guilty & dirty for at least 10 mins.

Er, really?

― The Ghost of Luckier Than He Previously Thought (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

YEah, i never mop up.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

YUM.

― Bibbo Batman (Leee), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:31 (twenty years ago)

"Easier access" is a serious answer.

But some women wear skirts (semi-serious answer).

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Dan's a FIFTEEN minute man!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Dunno if it's so much "easier access" for the fellas as it is "easier to do" (clean-up aside) (esp. for Hari).

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

monstrous generalisation alert...

Men's sexuality is more divorced from their emotional life. Hence their use of porn as sexual stimulation, the existence of prostitutes, and also the wider prevalence of masturbation. Women's sexuality is more linked with their emotional life. Hence sex is more something you do within the bounds of a relationship, or in the hopes of a relationship happening. Hence less porn, not too many male prostitutes catering to women, and a bit less wanking. As for why there should be these sexual differences, the evolutionary psychology gloss is pretty obvious.

― one handed interwebbist, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

But some women wear skirts (semi-serious answer).

That doesn't make their genitalia any larger (and therefore easier to stimulate)!

Dan's a FIFTEEN minute man!

Well yeah, if you want to RUSH things...

― The Ghost of Blatantly Bragging Now (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

[xpost before the storm]

Yeah, that is a woefully off-base & monstrous generalization (from my experience).

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

I do think that the discretion w/ which women can git r done ably counters the ease at which men get the horn, tho.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

all the answers posted so far have been correct.

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

although crazy as it sounds, it may just be that some women masturbate more than some men.

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha "git r done"! Have you been watching a lot of Larry The Cable Guy on Comedy Central?

(xpost Steve with the crazy talk! Tell me more.)

― The Ghost of GIT R DONE! (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:38 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure some women masturbate more than some men. I'm equally sure that in the sum total of all instances of wanking, men would account for more than women.

Yeah, that is a woefully off-base & monstrous generalization

Well then, what's your answer?

― one handed interwebbist, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

girls are so lucky, they don't have to mop up after a session + they get to do many, we get one go. and when that's over, you get to feel guilty & dirty for at least 10 mins.

notm on all counts?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

This is a good question. If I was a woman, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off it.

Hell no. I mean, if guys had breasts then we'd never leave the house, right? This is accepted fact, isn't it? Conclusion: shemales got it goin' on.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

Hence less porn, not too many male prostitutes catering to women, and a bit less wanking. As for why there should be these sexual differences, the evolutionary psychology gloss is pretty obvious.

Maybe it's more just cultural? i mean, in the days of male dominance of society of course it would have been hard to find male prostitutes catering for women, and that if they do have a wank they sure won't be telling you all about it in a hurry! Like.

another conjecture.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

I know girls with larger genetalia than some men.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:50 (twenty years ago)

SHENIS

― The Ghost of Tend Towards The Mean, Dude (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

Well, one-hander, I was mostly taking issue w/ the porn thing, as (again, in my experience) the ladies are just as prone to use porn as the fellas, and (more importantly) the usage / non-usage of porn in one's bean-flicking / pickle-stroking (nevermind the number of times one wanks in a day / week / month!) doesn't say a damn thing about one's emotional distance or investment w/ regards to luv.

And that's a yellow card for Dang.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

somebody post that picture of chyna (xpost)

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

i know girls with bigger mothers than other boys' mothers.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

Well, there's porn and there's porn, isn't there? Let's just call it 'stimulating material' and leave it at that, no?

Anyway, my answer: Girls aren't encouraged to talk about it so much by their peer group? Which obv doesn't mean we're not doing it.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

Also, re: "git r done" - I don't think Larry's the type of thing we should discuss in the midst of a boom-bangin' self-love thread. (But, yeah, exposure to Larry via CC commercials = I can't help but include the damn phrase in convos.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

Do girls ever sit on their hand for a period of 3+ hours and then wank so it feels like somebody else is doing it?

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:59 (twenty years ago)

No. Fine control is necessary. It's not really relevant to try to imagine someone else doing it.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Dan's right. I think the fact that the male sex organ is RIGHT THERE has something to do with it. *SWEEPING GENERALIZATION ALERT* But also, I don't think it takes a lot for a guy to come. Wank wank wank, bingo. Women have a harder time. There's a certain jerk-off mindset we need to enter into. More than 50% of the quality of the orgasm depends on the cerebral stimuli. Guys can jerk off without any eroticism. Women need eroticism.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

JERK OUT

JERKIN' EVERYTHING IN SIGHT

― Morris Day, And Yes Yes Oh Yay, The Time (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

We've got the quality of orgasm v. cerebral stimuli thing going on too. Not all orgasms are created equal.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

There's also the small matter of the biological imperative: Men are constantly producing new sperm, which build up and demand release (and eventually break out on their own if their demands are not met). Evolutionarily, it makes sense for men to ejaculate a lot, because they can theoretically conceive a child 4 times a day or however often they can get it up, while women can only conceive a child once every 9 months. Obviously in practice that leads to a lot of seed spilled upon the earth, but evolution doesn't care about that -- keeping the motor running and ready for any available opportunity is the main point.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

Hence the sweeping generalization statement. xpost

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

Someone please fwd gypsy's post to the Catholic Church stat!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Um, hello. Women can conceive during a few days each month. We're not all pregnant all the time, dude.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

girls are so lucky, they don't have to mop up after a session + they get to do many, we get one go.

We have plenty of mopping to do. Plen-tee. And not all of us were blessed with the ability to come more than once-a-wank.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

If there's one thing i will never get to grips with it's the female reproductive system.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Good thing you're not female, then!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

Guys can jerk off without any eroticism.

Generalization.

Hard-ons can be more persistent and they're certainly more noticeable. Sometimes just wishing they'll go away is enough to ensure that they won't.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

I can't wait until society breaks down the taboo of public erections. I'm sick of hiding it.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

why not get rid of clothes too

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

"Guys can jerk off without any eroticism."

Generalization.

-- M. White

Hence the sweeping generalization statement. xpost

-- Je4nne ƒury

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

I am a girl. I masturbate more often than my boyfriend, and more often than my previous four boyfriends. I do not masturbate very often, i.e. not every day. I do need to "mop up" after I masturbate or just enjoy the wetness. Sometimes I feel guilty for 5 minutes or so afterwards (depending on what the fantasy was :-) I only cum once and then have to wait quite a while (like hours) to cum again. I do like porn - and there's plenty of good porn with chiX0rs in it, and it's not as if I'm going to want to look at nekid men.

I do not think I am unusual.

― miele kitty (miele), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

also, I don't think it takes a lot for a guy to come

Depends. Oddly, it takes more for me to come during sex than it does while masturbating (or maybe that's not that odd). While having a wank, it's business, it's easy, it's not especially erotic, no. During sex, it's involving and immersing and dynamic and emotional and complicated. And better, sure.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

I do not think I am unusual.

You aren't... FOR A MAN, BABY!

― The Ghost of Austin Powers (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

To reiterate -- My statement was based on masturbation, not sex. xpost

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

Then you're mostly right. Though I do think women have the "maintenance wank" too, sometimes. Vibrator, takes three minutes, no biggie.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, Je4nne, I didn't realize you were xposting to yourself.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

Why do women xpost to themselves more than men?
*SWEEPING GENERALIZATION*

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

As long as people don't xpost themselves to minors.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I am jealous of the vibrator wank.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

I used to be a big fan of the massaging showerhead wank. I need to get another massaging showerhead.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/serial_killers/predators/coral_watts/1-2-Bill-O-Reilly.jpg

men can use vibrators too

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

Even a vibe wank can be no easy chore if I can't get my brane hard n' ornery.

OR MAYBE I JUST HAVE SEXUAL PROBLEMS. THERE, I SAID IT.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

Aaarrgh! Also not unusual for an orgasmic WOMAN! I can't speak for non-orgasmic women, of whom I am assured there are many, but playing with yourself is fun and nice and a great way to relax and get to sleep and fun way to think of boyfriend when he's not there and good for period pain and a nice way to wake up some mornings too and great during a weekend morning or sickie lie-in.

The friends I have with whom I am close enough to discuss this stuff are similar to me - except they all have *vibrators* whereas I do not, will not and have not.

However, I think it is generally true that more men are bigger wankers than women. I am not sure about the male need for orgasm, in fact I think (on no basis whatsoever) that there may be less need for male orgasm than female orgasm but more need for male ejaculation than female orgasm.

Also, does not testosterone make one horny? Is it not the sudden relative increase in testosterone caused by alcohol that makes many people rather amourous when tipsy? Maybe men are hornier coz they have more testosterone.

I seem to recall reading that women and men secrete different hormones from their hypothalamus during orgasm, so presumably male and female orgasm are actually different things just with the same name? Do we know? How can we know?

― miele kitty (miele), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

don't they have those pocket pussy things for men's wanking pleasures, nowadays?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Men: vibrator up butt = 3 minute wank. Yes?

― miele kitty (miele), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

taste testing.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

People keep basing their sweeping generalizations about masturbation on biological aspects of reproduction as if the two have anything to do with each other.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

Ken - Oh wow, what a fantastic idea.

― miele kitty (miele), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Da Micc gets tossed from the thread for bringing up falafel. P!uma gets a penalty kick. I get to pretend like I know anything about soccer. And everyone gets to wank! Yay!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

I was going to ask if women ever try "The Stranger", but Hari already covered that.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

Why bother with "the stranger" when the guy with pizza around his dick shows up in 30 minutes or its free?

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Ugh. Worst topping ever.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

We're not all pregnant all the time, dude

Then we're not doing our job properly. Men, prepare the artillery!

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

Ha! "Men, prepare the artillery!" = "Men, drink 3 beers and show up!"

*GENERALIZATION ALERT*

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Worst ballistics range ever. Or is that best ballistics range ever? Regardless, bring an umbrella.

― The Ghost of Singin' In The Please God Let It Be Rain (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

People keep basing their sweeping generalizations about masturbation on biological aspects of reproduction as if the two have anything to do with each other.

izzat a joke? Of course they're related!

Women's orgasms confer reproductive advantage too, btw. Not as much as male orgasms (women don't have to have an orgasm to get pregnant, obviously), but orgasmic contractions help pull/propel the sperm toward the egg.

Everybody should just be glad our biology worked things out along pleasure principles -- instead of barbed penises, like cats.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

It's certainly easy for a man to knock one off in 3 mins, but perhaps the number of deeply pleasurable, satisfying orgasms we have is in the same ballpark as women? Release is fine, but it's barely the same thing as a leisurely, mentally-focused wank (either with company or alone).

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Apparently, it's easier for us to get off. If it was a lot of work, we probably wouldn't bother as much, either.

― Lemonade Salesman (Eleventy-Twelve), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

If you guys think I'm insuffereable now, just think about how much worse I would be if I had a barbed penis.

― The Ghost of MEOW (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

That would make wanking more problematic.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Wear marigolds.
-- Penelope_111 (penelope.11...), April 12th, 2005. (later)

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

If it was a lot of work, we probably wouldn't bother as much, either.

this sure as hell makes women's orgasms more INTERESTING

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Maybe men are hornier coz they have more testosterone.

I can't believe it took so many posts to posit this.

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

Okay, Benjamin, pour tester ton veracite, il y a un lien entre ton nouvel album et le Palais de Tokyo. C'est quoi?

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

D'accord

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

How often do men masturbate because they are horny? Sometimes there's just nothing else to do.

― The Ghost of "Longview" To Thread (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

Okay is perfectly acceptable idiomatic French, Thermo.

"Okay, puisque t'as le sens de l'observation et que t'es plutôt bien foutue, je veux bien répondre à tes questions, c'est l'heure de ma pause de toute manière."

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

J'ACCUSE!

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes there's just nothing else to do.

I christened this the "chimp-wank", or chimpy for short. As in, "after lunch at work I couldn't be bothered to do anything except sneak off to the bog for a chimpy."

― Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Dan OTM, btw. Or it just becomes habit.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

It's a good habit, as habits go. Like flossing, only way more fun. Prostate maintenace scheduled between 11-12pm nightly.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

Prostate maintenace!!

Angry Father: (catching his son at it) What the hell are you doing??!!

Son: (nonchalantly) Scheduled prostate maintenance. Why do you ask?

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

As long as that scene doesn't turn into a PSA w/ kid defensively screaming "I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!" at his dad, it's all good.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

izzat a joke? Of course they're related!

It doesn't seem so obvious to me. Masturbation does not aid in reproduction and might even hinder it (by dissipating horniness). It seems to me like it might be functionally closer to, say, singing in the shower. Or, to put it another way, would the body want some masturbatory-like function even if reproduction were thrown out the window? Some way of relieving stress, of self-pleasure, of getting to sleep, etc.?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Angry Father: What is the cat for???

Son: Lady, if you have to ask...

Cat: MIAOW

(xpost: pwned by Daver)

― The Ghost of Spiny Spiny Ow (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

And also I have to say, personally, my desire to have sex and my desire to masturbate are on two different tracks (although not entirely unconnected, I suppose), leading to the frequent enough situation where I want to masturbate but I'm in a situation where only having sex is available (in addition to the more famous situation where I want to have sex but only masturbation is available).

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Or, to put it another way, would the body want some masturbatory-like function even if reproduction were thrown out the window? Some way of relieving stress, of self-pleasure, of getting to sleep, etc.?

SHE: Would you mind changing the channel?
HE: Yeah, no problem. UNNNNNGH!
SHE: ... I hate you.

― The Ghost of No More Caffeine After 4 PM (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

THANKS DAN

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000006ON3.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

A capitalist! How cool!

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

And also I have to say, personally, my desire to have sex and my desire to masturbate are on two different tracks (although not entirely unconnected, I suppose),

This is true, and I have a friend for whom its a big problem in his relationship (i.e., his girlfriend has huge issues with p0rn and thinks that sex with her should be enough for him, etc.).

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

my wife likes/owns/collects porn = me being the luckiest bastard on earth.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

i like to download.

― Amon (eman), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

How often do men masturbate because they are horny? Sometimes there's just nothing else to do.

So ladies never have a wank just because they're bored?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

well i mean if they were LADIES maybe they won't.. but then neither would a gentleman wank just for the hell of it.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

What the fuck planet are you from, Ken?!?!?!

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

That question is kind of bunk because this entire thread is based on gross sweeping generalizations. I, or Je4nne perhaps as she and I seem to be on the same level on this question, might say no but 2 other people might say yes. There are men for whom this whole "men can get it up 17 times a day so it's a necessity" view point is horsecrap. There are women who collect bukkake videos. I mean there's no way to generalize because yeah while this whole notion of biology and different brain wiring is true to an extent we are also at a point in modern culture by which a lot of that can be pretty easily conditioned out either to be "better" about masturbation or "worse" about it for either sex so it strikes me that this isn't really a question anymore of men v women at all.

xpost gentlemen and ladies never, ever masturbate.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

Fops though, jesus.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

The thing about gentlemen, is that it's in fact a case of "don't ask, don't tell". Ladies too, maybe.

― Plus-Tech Whiz Kid (Disco) (Barima), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

I don't know about your club, ken, but my club has an exquisite Wankery designed by Charles Barry.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Men can do it without smelling of fish.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Note the strategic use of the word 'can' in adam's post.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

I've heard tell of ladies using psycho-theraputic vibratory devices to treat hysterical symptoms.

And the gentlemen who do it for them.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

tell that to the guy from my old work, adam :(

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

he was fairly tall, and when he walks over to talk to you his crotch is just around your face level, and you could tell which mornings has he been feeling horny.

(most)

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

Urgh.

― The Ghost of I HATE YOU KEN C (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

sorry, the tenses were all messed up there i know

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

I'm feeling tense now, that's for sure.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

you could tell which mornings has he been feeling horny.

Tunadays and Salmondays?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

wanksdays, innit

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

Did you shake hands with him?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

Like a polaroid picture?

― Plus-Tech Whiz Kid (Disco) (Barima), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

I agree with Ally and Jeanne.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

It's good for your prostate (a doctor told me).

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

This thread is not horny

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

Ah, the gynecocratic triumvirate.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

xxxpost, sorry.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

I did a term paper, once, that kind of related to this topic at hand, so, like, I'm an expert.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:05 (twenty years ago)

"at hand"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

Was it for a lab cass?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

wimmin used to be too depressed and held down by the man. now they're all on SSRI's.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:26 (twenty years ago)

Whoever mentioned a wank is the perfect antidote to period pain is OTFM.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:35 (twenty years ago)

Off the Money, more like

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

hey, it's always worked for me.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:37 (twenty years ago)

there's nothing like an orgasm to bring about a wave of even worse intense cramps

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:37 (twenty years ago)

I am so not going to TMI this thread but I agree with the assessment that period time is a bad time to have an orgasm (I don't get cramps barely ever and it's not the mess either and that's all I'm going to say).

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

Please TMI for the 49% of us who are male

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 02:51 (twenty years ago)

wait a minute - benjamins got a new album??

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

Masturbation does not aid in reproduction and might even hinder it (by dissipating horniness).

So you're suggesting it's just kind of coincidental that stimulation of the reproductive system produces a pleasure response that makes us want to stimulate the reproductive system some more? I know people don't like biological determinism, and I'm not discounting psychological and emotional effects, which are significant -- they're just secondary. It's like eating. We get hungry because we need food, biologically. The same drive will lead us to overeat, or to eat things that are bad for us, and we develop complex psychological and emotional webs of meaning around the act of eating, what we eat, how we eat and with who. But the basic why of eating, like the why of masturbating, is tied into biological functions.

And if masturbation had a significant negative impact on reproductive capability (by dissipating horniness, e.g.), then over time populations that masturbated more would tend to decrease while populations that masturbated less increased. This seems to not be the case.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 04:12 (twenty years ago)

(and I'm not saying there's some evolutionary advantage to masturbating, per se -- there's just an advantage to frequent ejaculation, because some number of those ejaculations will lead to reproduction. and the way you get frequent ejaculation is to provide neurological incentives to ejaculate -- orgasms.)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 04:15 (twenty years ago)

(Although, to Casuistry's other point about stress relief -- not to mention prostate health -- it's entirely possible that there are evolutionary advantages to masturbation itself, kind of side benefits to the reproductive effects. Societies with more masturbation might produce fewer suicide bombers, for example.)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

Ergh I had a lot to say in response to your posts, gypsy, but I can't seem to put it into good, clear thoughts. I think the eating comparison is wrong and that in terms of sexuality, there is a basic biological hard-wire to reproduce, which for males involves ejaculation, but after that basic point of "MUST...MAKE...BABY..." the secondary reasons are waaaaay more important than any supposed biological imperitive as to how a person achieves that state (goes not just for masturbation but anything relating to sexual activity).

The prostate health thing is kind of strange, too, yes regular ejaculation is good for health etc but A) body will take care of that on its own if you don't B) red wine is good for your health but no one ever recommends getting shit faced on it. Haha though I guess it's continued proof that the medical community is pwned by the menship.

Seriously though I guess I just don't like either of those "arguments" (what a weird word to use for this, it's not like something that needs excusing or explaining) is that it puts us back at point A, ie the women drive like this, men drive like that situation. IE Some women collect porn and masturbate constantly! Some men can't get it up again for hours and hours and hours after masturbating! Some people of both sexes don't even masturbate at all! In the realm of sexuality, virtually everything IMO is about the secondary imperitives, the social, mental, experiential and conditioning imperitives and not biological ones.

This doesn't necessarily contradict anything you just said, I suppose, except the eating thing really (I mean, if I decided tomorrow I was against eating, I'd die in short time. If I decided tomorrow I was against orgasms, I might have headaches 7 days a week instead of my normal 3 or 4 but I wouldn't die! I might want to though, which is why most people don't choose that route)

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 05:24 (twenty years ago)

I guess, in the long run, is that what I'm saying is that I hate the biological excuses because why make an excuse? "Hello. I masturbated because I felt like doing it." Why come up with some lengthy explanation for it that might or might not be considered questionable depending on how exactly you consider the biology? As long as you aren't doing it to the point of causing yourself sexual difficulties or regularly doing it as a purposeful method of consistently avoiding interaction with real life flesh people than what is the problem?

Linking sexuality first and foremost to biology is a slippery slope to me that I dislike because of the amount of other factors in there and the amount of things to do with genetics and brain that we don't understand yet.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 05:32 (twenty years ago)

If you guys think I'm insuffereable now, just think about how much worse I would be if I had a barbed penis.

-- The Ghost of MEOW (djperr...), April 12th, 2005.

Dan "The Scorpion" Perry--your wrestling name!

― latebloomer: strawman knockdowner (latebloomer), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:09 (twenty years ago)

Men: vibrator up butt = 3 minute wank. Yes?

ok, so i got this butt plug for my birthday and so i tried it out once and was like, uhh this kinda sucks. but then i read the directions and i guess i put it in backwards. so i rotated it around and was like OMG OMG OMG OOOH OOOH OOH OK IM DONE.

in case anyone wanted to know.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:17 (twenty years ago)

MORE WOMEN POSTING, less men posting PLS THX.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:25 (twenty years ago)

hstencil = clearly a closet case.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:26 (twenty years ago)

there's nothing like an orgasm to bring about a wave of even worse intense cramps

Tokyo OTM, I can even bring on a period a few hours early if I've had an orgasm. Well it seems that way anyhoo.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:27 (twenty years ago)

Is this the time I should bring up the site I found yesterday about "how to squirt"? Yes? No?

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:29 (twenty years ago)

phil-two = clearly not of interest to hstencil

my first gf insisted that sex helped ease the pain of cramps.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:29 (twenty years ago)

hstencil = probably into scat. beware.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

phil-two = more likely the scatfan, since he's the one who brought up buttplay.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

In the realm of sexuality, virtually everything IMO is about the secondary imperitives, the social, mental, experiential and conditioning imperitives and not biological ones.

I think that's true on an individual basis -- sexuality is a personal and specific thing in a lot of ways, the meanings and rituals people attach to it, etc. But on a population basis, the biological forces are the real drivers. We are a species first and individuals second, and whether you buy into selfish-gene extremism or not, our biological imperatives to A.) survive, and B.) reproduce, drive us and underlie our behavior just as much as they do for mayflies or shetland ponies. Masturbation is one expression of a biological drive, and that drive has a very clear function as far as the species goes.

But I was just answering the question in the thread title. I don't think of it as an excuse, just an explanation. I don't think anyone needs an excuse to masturbate, and to me the whole idea of feeling "guilty" about it seems even odder if you consider it in a biological context. Our bodies are built to do this. And you're right, the food analogy is faulty in that gluttony is demonstrably unhealthy, where frequent orgasms aren't unhealthy at all.

You're also right about the wide variation among both men and women. And surveys over the last 50 years definitely suggest a narrowing of the masturbation gap, as female sexuality has been to some degree liberated from centuries of repression and taboos. I think in recent surveys, 80-plus percent of women and 90-plus percent of men say they masturbate, compared to much lower percentages of women in the 1940s. (To what degree those numbers represent actual practice vs. more willingness to be honest about actual practice is unknowable, but either way they show a real change.) But even at that, men on average report greater frequency and a greater number of orgasms per week, which ties back to the thread title, and is inevitably tied to the very real and persistent differences in the two genders' reproductive systems. Which also implies no judgment, they're really just component parts of a larger reproductive system, but they're components with somewhat different roles.

True, but I think if the society as a whole could accept the biological side of it and get comfortable with it on those terms, it would reduce a lot of the stress and guilt and bugaboos. I certainly don't mean to demystify sexuality or denigrate the many other roles it plays outside strict biological needs. One of the most interesting things about our species is our ability to construct elaborate systems of meaning and metaphor on top of our biological lives, so that sexuality has come to represent a whole set of things including intersonal attachment, individual self-expression and spiritual exploration. That we can build all that on top of what is essentially a pretty straightforward system of semen and egg delivery is entirely to the credit of our imaginations. (That we have also loaded up the same system with guilt, prejudice and largely useless social restrictions is less to our credit but maybe inevitable.)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:35 (twenty years ago)

personally, i don't like vibrators, they really don't do anything for me. i'm the odd one out amongst my female friends on this matter though. ummm i totally agree with je4nne upthread, i think that i require a lot more cerebral involvement than most of the men i've been out with who can just knock one off when they have a spare few minutes. no doubt everyone is different though.

also, an orgasm totally relieves period cramps for me. although i never have very bad ones, so i'm not sure if it would be pain relief so much as distraction. more support for 'everyone is different'!

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:36 (twenty years ago)

ok,u win.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:37 (twenty years ago)

(and I'm not trying to make this thread boring, I swear. back to the buttplugs!)

xxpost

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:37 (twenty years ago)

It's like eating. We get hungry because we need food, biologically. The same drive will lead us to overeat, or to eat things that are bad for us, and we develop complex psychological and emotional webs of meaning around the act of eating, what we eat, how we eat and with who. But the basic why of eating, like the why of masturbating, is tied into biological functions.

The masturbatory equivalent for eating (although I agree with Ally's line of thinking, but I'm going to humor you for a second) though would be something like giving a blowjob. It's a pleasurable activity that involves the mouth but doesn't go "all the way" (like how masturbation gives some of the side effects of reproduction, but doesn't get anyone close to pregnant). How can you say that fellatio isn't primarily a digestive act, since it is basically a thwarted form of eating a banana?

(bit of the xpost there)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:38 (twenty years ago)

How can you say that fellatio isn't primarily a digestive act

This would seem to depend largely on the spit or swallow question.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:40 (twenty years ago)

the hstencil & phil-two exchange upthread is cute as shit.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

i am so gay for phil. except that i'm not gay.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 06:58 (twenty years ago)

hstencil = total bottom.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

ok its 3am, im gonna go pass out now, after i masturbate of course

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 07:04 (twenty years ago)

bye phil!

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 07:08 (twenty years ago)

Okay, Benjamin, pour tester ton veracite, il y a un lien entre ton nouvel album et le Palais de Tokyo. C'est quoi?

Tu connais Michael et Mathias, peut-être. (Et c'est ta véracité.)

― Benjamin Biolay, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

In the space of a single post Ally managed to say the following:

- long run
- lengthy
- slippery slope

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:20 (twenty years ago)

I dreamt last night I bought a dildo at the grocery store. I was embarassed to take it up to the cashier. Uh...

By the way, I love the image of putting the butt plug in the wrong way... makes me think you were trying to put it in base-first. Hee.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

-- phil-two (philtw...), April 13th, 2005 3:17 AM. (later)

ok phil. try not to go near the internets anymore while drunk. thx.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

You could take a broad view of biological function to include the satisfaction of needs that affect physiological and psychological well-being, which are assumed to affect each other.

― youn, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

Now, phil, your solicitous concern that we be kept up to date on the minutiae of your masturbatory life of is quite endearing, actually.

xpost

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

show us pics next time you're drunk, phil!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:48 (twenty years ago)

don't listen to ken, phil.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:50 (twenty years ago)

Is it documented that men masturbate more than women? If so, what part of this greater frequency is impelled by biological factors and what part by independent social factors? I have known some fiercely competitive women in the wanking frequency races.

I am personally inclined to think, though, that men's masturbatory fantasies, or at least sexual stimulus responses are probably more rudimentary (breasteses!! boner!!) and more constant. I have never in my life, for example, foregone sex because of a headache. Never. Sick with the flu, groggy, delirious - what do I want? To sheathe my wang in warm moist... anyway, you get the picture. Why do dogs lick their balls? 'Cause they can't make a fist. Men can.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

-- Casuistry (chri...), April 12th, 2005.

Oh dear...I recognise this too! And very brave of you to admit it !

― Spoombung (spoombung), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

It's more brave to admit it to the person who wants to have sex with you when you just want to go off somewhere and masturbate.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

Don't be a hero, Chris.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

Tu connais Michael et Mathias, peut-être. (Et c'est ta véracité.)

Ah! Pas mal! Pas mal du tout! Oui, c'est M/M qui ont fait ta pochette, et qui ont fait egalement le graphisme du Palais de Tokyo. Assurement un fan de Biolay aurait connu ca, mais tu m'a convaincu: j'attends ton chanson "Pourquoi les hommes se masturbent..." prochainement!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Pourquoi les hommes est-ce qu'ils se googlent d'avantage que des femmes?

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

"unhealthy" and "frequent" need to be defined here. Like with all behaviors I guess. What's funny in relation to the thread question is that the two people I was specifically thinking about when I posted "As long as your habits aren't causing you this problem or that problem" were both women!

My main distaste for the idea that people should become more comfortable with the idea of biological/evolutionary imperitives as main imperitives in order to foster more healthy attitudes is that quite often, though obviously not here, those same arguments are used to foster extremely unhealthy, negative opinions about various sexual practices.

I'm reading a newspaper article right now that actually uses the word "revivify"! So I'm going to use it to up my ridiculous word count, it is good, the statistics above, that societal changes have revivified people's willingness to be open and have discourse about their sexual practices (I don't buy into the idea that it's significantly changed what the majority of people are indulging in though; I'm pretty sure people have been freakkay since day 1). But I have some reservations about it as well; ie I hate feeling like I have to use 10,000 words to explain myself when one sentence would do because saying anything questioning this whole prostate health/biological imperitive makes me feel like the Andrea Dworkin of ILX.

THIS BIOLOGY BULLSHIT IS PATRIARCHICAL HORSESHIT. STOP OPPRESSING ME. etc.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

I'M BORIFYING THE THREAD.

SO I WILL ANSWER THE TMI QUESTION.

Orgasm during period for me personally results in a really horribly uncomfortable sensation akin to the idea that that area of my body is now made out of an incredibly heavy substance, like filled with lead weights, which lasts for a while.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

I oppress you! With PROSTATES!

― The Ghost of They Cum In Six-Packs (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

I think THIS *-ICAL BULLSHIT IS *-ICAL HORSESHIT needs to become a meme

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Ally & Rosemary OTM. No coming immediately before or during the period. Repercussions are swift and severe.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Martin Amis to thread.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

Women be bopping!

― moley, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

Martin Amis has a cast-iron vagina?

― The Ghost of Topical/Lackadisical (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

No, but he seems to me to be the embodiment of the sleaze who uses the excuse of urges beyond his control to justify his asshole behavior. Well, him and a lot of people, but he sprang to mind for some reason.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

Well, thanks to moley, all I can think of is:

http://www.altmanphoto.com/cyndi.lauper.fr.jpeg

― The Ghost of Better Get A Chaperone (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

yes and he'll thank you to not kick sand into it

xpost x2

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

See being male I can't even begin to correlate that with anything I've ever been through. I think that's fortunate.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 14 April 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

Furthermore, as a male the idea of my penis becoming a leaden instrument of doom after orgasm is kind of fucking awesome.

― The Ghost of COCK CUDGEL (Dan Perry), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:38 (twenty years ago)

Ugh that's just reminding me now of the scene in, what, Europa Europa? Where the jewish kid puts ties and weights on his willy to try to uncircumsize himself to hide his jewishness from the other Hitler Youth.

XPOST

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:40 (twenty years ago)

gee, thanks Ally. I'd almost forgotten.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:43 (twenty years ago)

penis weights were put to much better use in 100 Girls

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:48 (twenty years ago)

Furthermore, as a male the idea of my penis becoming a leaden instrument of doom after orgasm is kind of fucking awesome.

http://www.julie-benz.de/Shop/Jawbreaker%20VHS.jpg

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

I know exactly the sensation you're talking about ally!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

OK so I am not a freak!

Lemme ask another question: what about, uh, like post-orgasmic...well ok you know how when you get light headed or about to pass out, the first thing that tends to go is your ears, they get really muffled? I get that occasionally, but no other signs of like dizziness or whatever, just my ears not working right for about 3 minutes. And not even like after a really strong orgasm, like it's totally unpredictable and random and only occasional. Does anyone else know wtf I'm talking about?

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 14 April 2005 03:03 (twenty years ago)

Ally, you are not alone in your post orgasmic deafness! You're right, it doesn't happen a lot, just sometimes, and it doesn't have to be powerful. Just random.

As for the menstrual wank, there's definitely the off-putting leaden feeling, plus in that first couple of days all I want to do is teleport out of my body, rather than commune with it in any intimate fashion.

I wank alot to porn, chick porn, for the same reasons as upthread - naked dudes don't do it for me. Sometimes it'll be every day for a week, sometimes it'll be just to get myself off to sleep, or out of boredom.

I also don't like to come more than once after I wank...I can't go again right away, there's a weird discomfort to that that's not sexy and turns the whole thing into a whole lot of extra work.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 14 April 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

What the hell is it about naked dude softcore that is sooo unappealing? Cos you guys are right, it's totally not at all sexy in the least IMO.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 14 April 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

BTW where the hell is jess when we need him to talk about the Embarassing And Painful Downsides Of Male Sexing (TM)? I mean dude there are women all over this thread making it sound like biologically we shouldn't even be having orgasms! UGH BLOOD! UGH CRAMPS! UGH MENTAL DISTRACTION! UGH DEAFNESS! UGH LEADEN VAGINAS! WTF.

I feel the need to express the fact, to curious men, that none of the above situations are, like, the usual.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 14 April 2005 04:54 (twenty years ago)

I feel so Alex in NYC using the bold and the italics.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 14 April 2005 04:54 (twenty years ago)

Naked dudes are appealing enough for my needs, thank you.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 14 April 2005 05:09 (twenty years ago)

Never. Sick with the flu, groggy, delirious - what do I want? To sheathe my wang in warm moist...

actually it's nice sometimes - when you're feeling groggy to have a bit of comfort from the loin. and because your awareness is lower, it feels more like someone else is just ravaging you while you're ill.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 April 2005 09:26 (twenty years ago)

>It's more brave to admit it to the person who wants to have sex with you when you just want to go off somewhere and masturbate.

-- Casuistry (chri...), April 13th, 2005.

"Erm ...do you mind if we give the usual a rest for tonight, and I slope off to the spare room for a quick hand-shandy?"

"Of course dear. By the way, I'm just boiling the kettle -shall I bring you a cup of tea."

"Why, that really is most considerate of you, my dear"

(etc)

― Spoombung (spoombung), Friday, 15 April 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/9712/26/seinfeld.influence/kramer.jpg

― kephm, Friday, 15 April 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.