I have a big ass

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I wanted to clear up some confusion amongst a handful of posters. I HAVE A BIG ASS. I'm not calling myself fat, though my stomach isn't looking too great thanks to drinks and PMS this week. I am saying I HAVE A BIG ASS. That is why I am on a diet. So for god's sake that's all there is to it. The only sign of my Hispanicness is my J-Lo ghetto booty, to snap off of Chris Rock. Someone at my work even mentioned it to me, "You got some back going there". THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

So, the point of this thread is to blurt out the thing about your physical appearance that is bugging you the most right this second. Because I just did it. So you should too.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ally, I dont believe you. Anyway, my neck is too long. I am the crane in the ointment.

― Simon, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Some less pounds would be rather nice -- I'm hardly overweight, but for my frame extra it's noticeable. Fiddle. I can get rid of it if I put my mind to it, but I like food too much, dammit. I will one day find the right balance.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Extra it's noticeable?' Pardon the temporary word-order confusion.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pimples dont want to go away. maybe i should wash my face more often/ use stuuf to help. im lazy. just go away. dammit

― kevin enas, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like the way my body works.
My buddha belly, my lost vision, my too long back
They have their own charm.

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Now this ain't for no small booties
No sir cause that won't pass
But if you feel you got the biggest one
Then mama come shake ya ass

Show em whatcha workin with. Don't know what your problem is, girl.

FACT: 100 years ago, "natural curls" the BOMB, like you were blessed from above (ditto ass). A few years ago I read an interview with Nikki Sixx were he says "nobody cool ever had curly hair." Taking Nikki Sixx as seriously as I do on questions of cool I was crestfallen.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm too skinny. No matter how much I eat, I don't gain weight. It's more of a problem than it seems, but what little exercise I do makes me look more in shape than I am.

Long way of saying that I don't have a butt at all.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I seem to gain and lose waist with out tipping the scalesmuch in either direction. I've been 85Kg for a very long time. Thin people are greatly overated. I wish I was fitter though.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Otherwise I'm like Mary Poppins; Practically Perfect in Every Way

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe I wasn't paying real close attention, but I didn't notice Ally's ass at all at the NYC meet-up

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking sides: Ass vs. Arse, which spelling is best? I'm equal opportunity in my usage. Arse is "correct" here, tho' ass perfectly acceptable. Personally, I like a good arse. And a good ass.

― AP, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

When I say ass it just sounds silly. It's something of my neighbor's I shouldn't covet?

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like ass . But thats because i am not a scot .

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But Ally, J-Lo has the best ass on the planet. It thought that was official. Actually, I did hear recently that her skirt had blown up or something and her unclothed ass is actually really disgusting, all veiny and covered in cellulite.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My nascent beer belly and eunuch handles, as Suzy so delightfully described them. However, this would require a serious reduction in the amount of beer and cheese I guzzle, which would be very hard for me to cope with.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, and I do have a big arse but I'm rather fond of it.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm short and skinny. I look younger than I am. I'm trying to find a way to pull it off well. Kate, you've seen a bunch of shaggy haired skinny indie-"bois": what do you recommend?

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have such a peculiar misshapen body that most of it perturbs me in some way. The odd thing is, I tend to accentuate the things that are wrong with the way I dress (skinny fit shirts, platform shoes, and so on...). Oh, but my platform shoes have been banned now, apparently...!

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not just banned, burned.

My thighs are really bugging me at the moment. No matter how fat I got, I always used to have great legs because I walked so much. I haven't been walking recently, and now my legs have gone to crap as well. Oh well.

I like my breasts, tho. They're the only thing on my body I like. Too bad no one ever seems to NOTICE them.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey Kate Nice Tits
There does that make you feel better ?

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

So how big does an ass have to be before it is too big?

― Disco Dave, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I like every aspect of your body Kate. So there. :)

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, for crying out loud.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Everything below the neck and above the knees, is bugging ME right now. And can I just say that I have now got "Ass'n'Titties" stuck in my head. Curse you Focus Group scoundrels for bringing that song to my attention.

And if anyone wants to see evidence of what effect too much Ass'n'Titties has on the male population, I'll be scanning in Pete and Johns reaction to it. Very Soon. Ally can see if her "ass" is bigger than their "asses". My ass is nowhere in sight, hahahaha.

― sarah, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"So how big does an ass have to be before it is too big? "

About as big as yours Dave. My nose is causing me real consternation at the moment, especially in the inside bits.

― Jonnie, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oi, Nick. Have I ever told you that I like every aspect of your body? I can go on about it at some length, on this forum and in front of many readers, if you like.

― the pinefox, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one night i had a great time at this bar and i felt so good about myself and was all on a self confidence high. on the way home some homeless guy goes "MMMM, you got the Biggest Ass, baby!" like that was supposed to make me feel good and go talk to him or something, but really it just made me want to vomit up everything i ever ate. but right this second my flabby arms are bugging me the most, id say. sigh. poor self-image: classic or dud???

― amy, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Shut up pf, you're freaking me out.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You know, if a gay man tells me that I have nice tits, then I take it as a double compliment, because then I know it's a purely aesthetic judgement, instead of a prurient one. So thank you, Anthony, you have made my day.

Paul, stop being couply in public! What have I told you about PDAs!

And Nick and Pinefox, stop being such bitter old curmudgeons about Paul's PDAs!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Some old geezer in his 70s came up to me once as I was weeping into my cigarette outside the doctor's (I had just had my bag stolen w/ mobile, wallet, house keys, CD walkman, brand new CD, lipstick stolen and was overreacting a little). He informed me I looked great from behind. Only somehow he managed to make it sound more flattering than that whilst simultaneously implying it (my arse) was not all that small, how did that work? He then went on to express amazement at my singleness and disgust at all men in London for this state. He clearly could not believe that someone with such a, er, 'rounded' arse could remain single.

But it did stop me from crying for a bit.... Although if any man under 40 says I have a big ass I will thump him very hard.

― Emma, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Please teach me how to appreciate the difference between prurient and aesthetic appreciation of your tits, Kate. Just so I know.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have always thought your arse was perfectly formed Emma. Its the rest of you that lets you down.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I once got an offer for a blow job from a 70 year old
I laughed and told him i really didn't feel like being gummed
I feel bad about that.

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It really depends on what is said, and how it is said, Nick. Clearly, a gay man is not going to have any prurient interest in me, so it's not an issue.

It's more the difference between being told that you look nice, and having someone drooling and holding a conversation with your nipples. I am proud of my breasts, they are the most attractive thing about me physically. So it's OK to notice them. It's just not OK to treat them as if they are the ONLY thing about me.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My problem is finding an aspect of my physical appearance that doesn't bug me.

― Nicole, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am saying ALLY DOES NOT HAVE A BIG ASS. (It's true, really.)

But, if all you bootylicious mamas & papas are looking to tighten up your trunk space, the best solution (as far as I can tell) is to hook up with yours truly. Around me and my pick-up trunk, your derierres will look like Yugos.

Which is why I've been half-heartedly exercising the past month, while eating exactly the same as I have for the past 2 years. Hence, not much progress...hmm...

― David Raposa, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I once wore some rather, er, tight trousers and witnessed numerous people have conversations with my crotch and my buttocks, so I know what Kate means. I daresay my crotch and buttocks were more interesting conversationalists to boot...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My ass is NOT covered in cellulite or veins, so I guess I don't have J-Lo booty. I've been fairly lucky, my cellulite gene seems to come from my dad's side of the family, which despite being distinctively not thin (besides one aunt who is rail sized), has no cellulite.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am, of course, very polite about not having conversations with breasts. I just queried your aesthetic/prurient distinction. Sometimes I stare and stare at things for aesthetic reasons, and I am quite capable of being discreet about my prurient thoughts. Don't assume that because a man is looking you in the eye they aren't consumed by ruttish thoughts.

Added to which, not being gay, I find it hard to distinguish between aesthetic and sexual appreciation of the breast. Artists are supposed to be able to do it, I suppose, but I'm not sure I trust them. Lustbeautycrazysexycool - let's not draw lines.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ally, that means you have stolen La Lopez's crown. I suggest you insure your ass for several million dollars and quit dietting right now.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If you are staring at breasts, that is wrong. It's rude to stare, no matter WHAT the object is. I mean, how would you like it if I stared at your fringe all night?

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate, when you go and see Fonda 500 you always stare at a certain person's fringe all night!

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Only if I can start dressing like her all the time, including at work. Then I shall insure my ass.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Naturally, I don't know what a PDA is. If I think I am a curmudgeon I'll say so. It's none of your business.

― the pinefox, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, but Nick Fonda 500 has the BEST HAIR IN POP!!! If he didn't want us to stare, he wouldn't make it do tricks. Like Rachel and her tits- if she didn't want people to stare, she wouldn't have got them out!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, and Public Display of Affection.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You know, for ages I thought a PDA was a palm pilot or something like that...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's rude to stare, no matter WHAT the object is. I mean, how would you like it if I stared at your fringe all night?

I'd be honoured. Though I concede that it would be at my flatmate's and my discretion. What about public property/property of one's own, though? I mean I'm often staring at TVs, paintings and stuff. Is that a no-no?

Anyway, like I say, I don't stare at women's chests. Unless it's from the top of a bus and they can't see me. Although I probably have enough of a glance to let them know that I have noticed them, thus fulfilling both your wishes. I am best.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Having thought about it I would rather someone stared at my tits than my arse when I was talking to them. I do not mind men looking as it reminds me what base animal instincts they have at times..... however I would prefer them to at least look surreptitiously and show a little civilisation.

― Emma, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate, when I saw your band support Camera Obscura, everyone was staring at your keyboardist's (? - could have been bassist or something - can't really remember) arse. It was clearly on display through a big split in her dress. Was this deliberate? Were we bad to stare? It was quite the talking point.

Like Rachel and her tits- if she didn't want people to stare, she wouldn't have got them out! Bollocks! They're her tits and just cause they're out doesn't give people the right to stare. Next you'll be saying that wearing a low-cut or tight top gives people the right to stare. It's a slippery slope.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nick: I was at that gig and what you say is simply not true. I could produce reams of witnesses to back me up.

Who's 'Rachel'? Is it worth knowing the answer?

― the pinefox, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Breasts revealed..... slippery slope...... ick!

Anyway. The thing with wearing tight / low cut tops is you know and expect that people will look. The problem is (for me) that there are some people I want to look but the vast majority of people should not be looking. So next time I wear a tight / low cut top I will just have to shout 'not you! stop perving at my tits you perv!' at anyone who is not supposed to be looking......anyone who is allowed to look can carry on regardless.

Phew, this sexual politics stuff is very complicated.

― Emma, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am not going to get started on Rachel (our keyboardist) and her attire (Yes, she was showing her arse at the Garage. Yes, she was showing her tits at the Spitz) because 1) we've agreed to make a show of solidarity with band members, and 2) because it generated a debate which nearly split our mailing list and, indeed, even our band in two.

It's hard for me to discuss Rachel's clothing, because I know her too well to be able to separate the abstract sexual politics behind them from her supposed reasons for wearing them, and from my own perceived and inferred ideas about what is prompting her.

My opinion on clothes is such... if you wear something deliberately attention getting, then you can't be surprised and complain at the attention that you get. Yes, women should be allowed to have the freedom to wear whatever they like without being exposed to the prurient male gaze. *BUT* if you go out of your way to shock, provoke and titilate, you can't be that surprised if the response if negative.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have to back Nick up, as soon as I walked into the Lollies supporting Camera Obscura, one of my friends (female) came up to me and said "have you seen that dress? you can clearly see her arse"

and you could you know.

― cabbage, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a long neck, and kind of small & definitely lop-sided chin. I shouldn't have any hanging neck, but because one side of my chin is a little smaller, if I put my head up real straight (which is rare) one side of my neck appears to hang! Unfortunately there is also more (or looser?) jaw muscle on that side of my neck! So, sometimes it looks like I've got half a little double chin, when in fact I have none! AND, the skin under my neck isn't LOOSE! It's not hanging away from the muscle. Isn't that a pisser?! So, when I DO get fat, my neck should look disgusting and warped like i have a tumor.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

fat bottom girls (&guys) they make this rocking world go round

― Geoff, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What annoys me is that I dress provocatively at *every* Strange Fruit and no-one ever even notices. Hmph.

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, I've noticed. Not that it provoked me in the right way, unless you're trying to get a reaction along the lines of 'take that wig off yer daft sod'.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

To think the amount of effort I put in... all for naught! :)

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm going to take this opportunity to say I have the nicest arse in Christendom. But I'm also a fattie, but that doesn't seem to affect the aforementioned posterior. However, try finding an outfit that emphasises ARSE but not GREAT FAT BELLY. I can't.

― DG, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish I had smaller boobs.

― Madchen, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish I had smaller boobs too.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, the wig fucking ROCKED!!! (Too bad the matching blonde one that I had was stolen by evil ligging Jesse) As did the silver jeans...

However, the flares, the platform boots and the polyester shirts that made Dickon go mad have all been banned...

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pretty soon I'll have to start walking around naked because most of my damn wardrobe seems to have been banned. Nothing wrong with polyester...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I also wish my boobs were smaller.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Walking around naked... mmmmmmmmmmm... What a brilliant idea! All your clothes are going in Oxfam tonight!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You are the only person who would appreciate that Kate! I'm coming home, I think...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is this thread dead now or can I add that I would give my body the abilit y to tan, a leaner figure, no chin fatness, better teeth, a larger cock, less complexion troubles, a jaw that fits top to bottum, and black hair

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You wear a wig Paul, That is so Andy !

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have no ass. My skin is terrible. I have a Buddha belly. I have a gap between my two front teeth. I have cellulite and stretch marks. My eyebrows are oddly shaped in a way that doesn't complement my eyes. My hair is an unruly, frizzy, greenish-brown mass. I think that's about it. Oh yeah, my head is huge and just doesn't look right on my 5'4" frame. And I'm one of those people that was meant to be Calista Flockhart skinny but ended up Roseanne fat due to an illness...

― Melissa W, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No one is supposed to be Calista Flockhart skinny! No one should be Calista Flockhart skinny!

Of course, no one should be Roseanne fat either.

― tOM p, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Okay, maybe not Calista-skinny. But fairly skinny. I was not meant to carry weight at all.

― Melissa W, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I can also back Nick up abput that gig, the Pinefox is talking rubbish. Bodyparts - at times my piggy nose seems to take over my whole face and look hideous. Then the next day it looks alright. But I suppose I don't really hate anything about my body, as such. I've come to realise that it's really not that bad.

― Ally C, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

male gaze... i've never u nderstood how it is demeaning and debasing. if i'm going to stare it is because i see something i consider beautiful. and hot. it's presumptuous and needlessly guilty for me to second guess the breasts owners personalitity.

― matthew james, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Staring at breasts: done. Staring at crotches: the new in thing.

― Sterling Clover, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We call them baskets. Like check out his basket.

― anthony, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No, Cookie, I am not talking rubbish. You are. You and Nick D's representation of that gig has nothing in common with my experience of it. I seem to remember it consisting of Mooro dashing off one- liners and Stevie T talking about pipedreams of ironic pop conceptualism.

― the pinefox, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But Pinefox is that because you were one of the chatterers at the back (that seem to plague SF on occasion) talking about literature or whatever while the rest of us were actually watching the band? and of course looking at that ass.

― cabbage, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't notice Ally's ass either, Sterl.

― JM, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You two aren't very observant.

― Otis Wheeler, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whats wrong with a big ass aside from viusal appeal it makes anal sex easier.

― anthony, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am currently wearing neither pant nor underthing.

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cabbage: yes. If you consider me a 'plague', don't worry - you won't be seeing me there much in future.

― the pinefox, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

big ass = face warmer in winter...yummm

― Geoff, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

wait. kate, your band opened for camera obscura? like, the post- swing-kids/shortwave-channel camera obscura from san diego that released to change the shape of an envelope? or (i'm guessing) a different band of that name?

oh, and i didn't notice ally's ass either.

(trust me to change the topic to music. gah.)

― sundar subramanian, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anthony: What, like you mean a bigger target? I mean, sure, but the bullseye is just as small, eh?

― Sterling Clover, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No the amount of cushioning and the tactile strength .

― anthony, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*enlightened*

― Sterling Clover, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No, you just know a bit about the mechanics of anal sex

― anthony, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sundar, Camera Obscura are also a band from Glasgow.

I was down the front for the Lollies, saying things like "isn't her dress great?" and "look, you can see cheek!" and "she's the Toni Braxton of indie!" There was a bunch of us extolling the virtues of the split dress, but I don't think the Pinefox was standing nearby. Seeing as you had to catch the dress at the right angle for a glimpse of flesh, that would explain the difference of opinion. And he doesn't strike me as the sort of chap to go out of his way to look at a girl's bum, which is to be commended.

― Madchen, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Madchen, that was you? News of the phrase "Toni Braxton of indie" reached the Lollies list, and I think Rachel ended up using it as her .sig for a week or two. I'm glad to now know where it came from.

― masonic boom, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See, Otis, this is why I needed you guys with me in Chinatown. I mean, not only would it have meant I would've had someone to talk to (besides Sundar, I mean, who was very nice and also THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN TALKING TO ME AT ALL), but I would've had people who were doing nothing but noticing my ass. Which is really what these meets are all about. If I EVER go to a meet again, which I don't plan to, you better show up otherwise I'm stabbing myself with a fork. Unfortunately that's not much of a threat because I think you're waiting for me to do something ridiculous like that.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A big ass is not so unvirtuous as a big pancreas.

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I suppose that's true.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Who is Toni Braxton?

― the pinefox, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

She's annoying, you don't need to know her.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Click here to find out

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But there's no pictures of her ass. And I really don't want to know what would happen if I googled "toni braxton" and "ass".

― masonic boom, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Her tits look like an ass at a recent award show

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you sure? I admit I didn't follow any of the links, but the presence of the word 'nude' in the second site's title suggests that it might contain Braxton arse action.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, I'll put you out of your misery. I searched "Toni Braxton" Dress Grammy et voila

― Madchen, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, Rachel's ass-showage at Upstairs at the Garage was nowhere near that much. However, her ass-showage at The Spitz revealed far more than Toni Braxton even did. I'd post a link, but I think the photo is on the secret members only Lollies server. However, if you go to Rattail Jim's site and search for the Lollies, there's a photo of the ass-showing dress there.

― masonic boom, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would totally wear that dress. I'm going to wear it to the next get together.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Man, I wanted to say something clever but....you've all basically covered EVERYTHING, so , um, .......hi.

― Chris, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or rather UNCOVERED everthing . no? hee hee hee! (Prances merrily about with a small tin cup of champagne, foaming in th e mouth)

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I really wanna hang out with mike.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Christ, Ally. You and fred just kept talking to one another in hushed tones. Tracer, Sundar, Jimmy, and I all had a great time with plenty of conversation to go around. You two just needed to argue on your own time. Besides which, bnw was far more out of the loop throughout.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And re: madchen, I believe -- Is it really commendable that guys not go out of their way to look at shapely parts of women? I'd argue that what's really commendable is going out of your way to *deny* having done such.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wasn't arguing with anyone, how could I what with Fred's time being taken up by making salacious comments about bizarro Britney Spears photos? I chatted with Sundar, he was lovely and talked about things besides Lotion. The next get together is going to be great, I should only attend every other get together.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, *I* talked to sundar, and he gave me his version of slowcore which was somewhere between Pendergast's version of ambient and Eddy's version of metal. I think the deal was that we were brought together by our common music geekery, and you seemed to be much less inclined to talk incessantly about music. Tracer? Jimmy? Sundar? back me up.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ally: thank you.

i talked to bnw. he was pretty quiet most of the night though.

― sundar subramanian, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

He was a nice chap, I quite liked him but he was with me on the not talking front.

Getting together to discuss nothing but music = dud. Invariably. The first so-called get together I had to leave the table and go talk to random people in the bar because the music talk had bordered on unbearable, particularly since a certain person there was trying to pick fights by making ludicrious statements (it was way obvious, Wheeler will back me up). This is what I'm saying, every other get together is an affair to remember, I mean we still talk about the Potion Lounge weekend around my workplace because they find the story SO FASCINATING ("Why are you dating the guy who called you a whore?" "I'm not, how many times do I have to explain this story?" "Tell it again, it's funny". "NO." etc). I just need to start going to every other one, that way I have nothing but wonderful memories of you all.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

WHat about getting together to discuss nothing but Ally's ass?

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I know Mr. Hanley would be in for that. Let's set a date, can you come down to NYC not this weekend but the next? Because some peeps should be in town then, so we'll get them plus my new batch of bisexual singing friends and we'll all discuss my backside until I start crying and hurl myself off the balcony. Now THAT would be a get together.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That sounds like a movie pitch, Ally.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You and Mr Kitty both

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Isn't that what _American Sweethearts_ is about? All I see in the trailers are people making disparaging comments about "Kiki". God, that looks like an awful movie. Damn Them for fucking up a movie starring John Cusack.

If we're going to start dropping terms like "Pendergast's version of ambient" in the midst of the conversation, I'll have to remember to bring my dunce cap along. Or drink about 10 Midori Sours.

And I think it's possible to comment on a woman's physical attributes without looking like a leering, drooling horn-dog. Though, again, as mentioned previously, the best thing to do when the topic comes up is shut the hell up, because even if you have something nice to say, you'll come off sounding skeevy, and possibly offend.

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It'd only be the BEST MOVIE EVER, Dan. I'm played by Uma Thurman + 20lbs. Stephanie is played by the girl who plays the secretary on Ally McBeal. You are of course played by Hootie in his film debut. Mike will be played by John Cusack. Otis and Ramon will be played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in their patented "cooky Massachusetts guys" roles. Our friend will be played by Hal Sparks, and his roommates are Sarah Jessica Parker and Thora Birch. It'll be so fantastic. Who can I call to get this made?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MArtin Van Peebles. I am played by Jugde reinhold anyways

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude, it's my movie. Though perhaps you'd accept Judd Nelson?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

NO way he looks worse the Greico. Only if you are played by Paula Poundstone

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Paula Poundstone? HARSH.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

tit for tat!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Judd Nelson is hella cool, haven't you ever seen those movies from the 80s? You're totally on crack if you don't want to be Judd Nelson. As I've already pointed out, it's my film so you have nothing you can say about it. YOU ARE JUDD NELSON. You shouldn't have complained about Cusack.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am on strike then, tart.

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Then I'm replacing you with Paul Reubens, okay? it doesn't matter, does it? Make your own movie if you're so annoyed.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

resorting to a new thread eh? grrrr!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I get it now. Ally thought the meet up was boring coz only Sundar noticed her ass.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sundar noticed my ass?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was wondering what prompted the movie thread...and now I'm amused.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Laugh it up fuzzball!

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait, you are hispanic?

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i said i didn't!

― sundar subramanian, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, why are you people besmirching Sundar's good name?

Mike: Um, yes?

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you were from Russia

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I know, my name is so Russian.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Shtoo, shtoo, my little babushka

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Apparently last night my friend was yelling my name and throwing things at me in the middle of the night. I didn't wake up. Didn't anyone worry that I was dead? If I lived in Russia, they'd help me. Fucking Americans.

― Ally, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

PLus, free crackers

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I could just go to communion and get some free crackers, boy.

― Ally, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Them ain't crackers, them is Jesus slices, but they go nice on Ritz crackers. A littel Jesus blood to wash it down, you got your self an old school apostle chow down!

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Does it disturb you too that they were apparently cannibals?

― Ally, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It disturbed me! The first time I actually paid attention to what was being said, I thought, "EEEK!" Then, I began to fume at the missionaries of old who called cannibal groups in Africa and South America "savages" when one of the cornerstones of Christianity involves devouring the person who's supposed to save us from evil.

Communion is the only thing about Christianity (as a religion) that bothers me. A lot of the rest of it boils down to "Help other people," which is a good way to live your life (assuming, of course, that everyone is living that way; it only takes one bastard to spoil the whole thing).

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I only noticed when a Buddhist freind came with me to church and was like "WHAT!?Drink my blood!" . I have been reading the bible lately and its odd, that Jesus rascal. He keeps saying things like " I am allowed to desecrate the sacred scroll becasue I am the son of God. His arguement for everything seems to be "I can do it because I'm God. " People bought it!And whats with thi s" turn the other cheek business?"

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also Jesus once cursed a fig tree

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three weeks pass...

AHEM. It is time for me to prove my case, since I found my tape measure. My measurements are 36-26-38. My hips are 12 inches bigger than my waist. And that measurement dropped an inch since the last time, 6 months ago. SO THERE YOU DOUBTERS.

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is that big? I don't know measurements. I like asses that are bigger than yours. I'm pretty critical of asses. I haven't seen a really good ass in probably a year and a half.

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

WTF? That is a hip measurement, not an ass measurement. Measure your ass and then get back to us.

― Josh, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But your ass only gets bigger from your hips, Josh. I'm actually really proud of this shit, don't know why.

I look hella good today, damnit.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm too skinny. No matter how much I eat, I don't gain weight.
I doubt that you eat enough. At least not the *right* things. Try carbohydrates. Pasta, chips,...

― nathalie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or do the SlimFast diet. It's made me gain 3lbs :P

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe you used the fatfast diet by accident.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That would definitely explain the problem.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Recently my freinds told me " All women have a big ass." Is this true?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No. Many have small ones. And there are different kinds of big. There is the wide and flat. There is the wide and round. There is the not wide but still round. I have wide and round. My roommate is flat. My youngest sisters have not wide and round, but my other sister has no ass at all.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i eat very large quantities of the right things and i still lose weight like there's no tomorrow if i don't work out.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

NO ass at all? is she a monkey? humans need butts

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And monkeys don't?

― Ally, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sundar,do you eat carbs? You need to eat lots of pasta and bread.
My ass is pea-sized. In my dreams.

― nathalie, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

And the Emmy goes to .. ALLY'S TARTY CHARO RIP- OFF ASS!

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a scam. I'm still not convinced of its girth. I demand a recount.

― David Raposa, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I already gave measurements, you crackheads. But I don't care anymore, I am too bootylicious for you lot anyhow

― Ally, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ally = too bootylicious for her ass

― mark s, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, that's a helluva catch 22 you've come up with there.

― Ally, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[us lot = ally's ass] = bumboozled

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass -- and I'm all out of ass.

― Brian MacDonald, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You all = my ass??? I mean, it's not that big. It's big, but it's not like "you all" sort of big.

― Ally, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My ass is petite and drunken

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yer asses are total ass!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ally's ass = the vortex of the totality

― jess, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jestem doze dópa!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If I ever run for political office, my slogan will be "My ass is the vortex of the totality".

― Ally, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually I think " I Have A BIg Ass" might be the most brilliant campaign slogan ever. Especially if you could tie it in with the republican "ass" and at the same time be "The Fat Party". Al americans would vote for that party!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Republicans are elephants, not asses.

― Ally, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OK jess so if my custom-designed cheesy logz are the vector TO the totality, and ally's ass is the vortex OF the totality, WHO IS GOING TO DO THE SCARY MATH THAT I AM SCARED OF?

― mark s, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

well when you assume you make an ass of you and the republicns

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How did this thread devolve into this? Shameful.

― Ally, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

mark, i said i changed my mind, didn't i? although, if we're talking octupling the amount of desne matter involved in any given operation, then surely ally's ass and the cheese logs are both vectors of something.

― jess, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

gah...i didnt even read that right...again! i really need to get on the same page as myself. now i am afeared! wheres jules verne when you need him? mudder!

― jess, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread has become totally ass.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 9 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sassasfras!

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 10 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd just like to announce that my body is still too bootylicious for all of you.

― Ally, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha fat arse!haha

― Fatnick, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this thread is going to be on the mike hanley moments collection.

― ethan, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

God I love this thread. Its like a child ..I have cared for it, watched it grow...

― Mike Hanle y, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you're thinking of ally's ass.

― ethan, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Like you aren't.

― Ally, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

six months pass...

haha semi-topical. ally please update on yr backside

― Ron, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

are you trying to imply it's ally's ass that smells?

― Queen G of the Windy Mores, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have on new cologne today, so it's not me. I think I have successfully mastered the size problem of my ass, though. I looked really hot this weekend, but then I threw up all over myself, without even drinking, so I couldn't go out.

― Ally, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

five months pass...

Hey. Ally, You have the same measurements as me!! Yay for us!! We are just too bootylicious for anybody on this thread!!

― Mulholla Akhbar, Monday, 4 November 2002 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

My ass is bigger now cos I got sick and gained 10 lbs. I LOOK LIKE SHAKIRA!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 4 November 2002 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad to know I'm not alone - the new guy in my office took one look at me and said "damn, girl, you have a ghetto ass!" I am now referred to (as well as paged on the interoffice system) as "G.A."

― luna.c (luna.c), Monday, 4 November 2002 07:10 (twenty-two years ago)

you do not fucking look like Shakira

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 4 November 2002 08:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Shakira's ass is way smaller.

Yo ally ho - why is my ass still rotting in jail. you was gonna reprezent me, but now I gotta bend sixteen different ways and take it up the shooter like a fruit bat for some beefhead who can't count the number of warts on his ass. When am i gonna get outta here? When are you gonna stop sleeping with the DA?

Free the Queen, y'hear whatimsayin?

― Queen G (Queeng), Monday, 4 November 2002 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna, I think you have a lucrative sexual harrassment suit on your hands.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 4 November 2002 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Also Ally, I find this sudden ass-enlargement very difficult to believe, please send me a picture for confirmation.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 4 November 2002 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

There goes Nabisco PERVING all over he Internet again...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 4 November 2002 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Honestly, though I'd never admit it, I think I secretly sort of almost kinda like it way deep down in places I don't talk about at board meetings...maybe.

― luna.c (luna.c), Monday, 4 November 2002 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah I'm 'up' for that pic too!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 4 November 2002 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh Julio, it was just cute and funny until you perved it up like that.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 4 November 2002 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

nabisco- don't act all 'innocent' on me

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 4 November 2002 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, unless you look like this:

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/butts.jpg

...I wouldn't stress.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 4 November 2002 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE let that be Photoshop at work. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 4 November 2002 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you think it's possible to mold your fat? Like maybe those girls dedicated years to pushing their fat around so it all be on they asses? (and yes, I meant to say 'they') - When I was a preteen, I hoped I could do that to move my little bits of fat to my chest region.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 4 November 2002 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

The one on the left is Ally. Where'd you find that??

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 4 November 2002 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that photo would make even Sir Mix-A-Lot have a rethink. Things can't be good when you look like a centaur from behind.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 4 November 2002 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio I have given myself license to say such things, as I say Ally's ass not two weeks ago and it was anything but big. What is remarkable about Ally is that she has an awfully long torso.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 4 November 2002 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

ally saying she has a big ass is an affront to hardcore guh-dunk-a-dunk-dunk everywhere.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 4 November 2002 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I have an awfully long torso? What? That was actually my neck, I am the giraffe from Toys R Us.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 4 November 2002 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

No, you have a super-long torso. And (cutely) boyish hips. But not a big ass, so shut up.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 4 November 2002 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i am picturing a girl with a long neck, long torso, big ass, and tiny legs...can you post a pic please so we can get this straightened out?

― g (graysonlane), Monday, 4 November 2002 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

In honour of her 10,000 post, REVIVE!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i am picturing a girl with a long neck, long torso, big ass, and tiny legs...can you post a pic please so we can get this straightened out?

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/images/alice.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that Helen Hunt?

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Friday, 27 June 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I forgot how hysterical this entire thread was.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

(cutely) boyish hips

ha ha nabisco reviewing girl ilxors!

― Mary (Mary), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, the origin of the CENTAUR BOOTY.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, as much as I regret ever starting this thread, I also realize it's like the best thing that ever happened.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally you regret starting this thread. Do you also regret the two (2) times you revived it?

― Neudonym, Friday, 27 June 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"Besides which, bnw was far more out of the loop throughout.

-- Sterling Clover (sterling_clove...), July 17th, 2001 8:00 PM."

Ha ha. Two years and I have almost gotten up the nerve to join the conversation.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, wholeheartedly, Neudonym.

bnw, it's cool, you get to see my ass more often than those in the loops.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

7 months later, and I still have a big ass.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I was told today that I "looked Hispanic with that skirt and hairdo". This has nothing to do with my ass, theoretically.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha!

"Dan, you look black with that hoodie and the gold chains."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

if any thread needed to be a picture thread...

― oops (Oops), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Dan, I'm surprised no one was like, "The funny thing is, her mom is actually a spic!"

(I SWEAR TO GOD SOMEONE IN THIS OFFICE SAID THAT IN MY PRESENCE ONCE)

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe they meant Special Person in Control

― oops (Oops), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, that's Janet Jackson.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

right, just trying to keep stick to this thread's theme.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"Matt" (speaking to myself again) "you look white with that mayonnaise sandwich on white bread and those indie rock records"

― Neudonym, Friday, 27 June 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

haha...trying to keep 'stick' on ass. or something.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 27 June 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

oops in living up to onscreen name shock

― Neudonym, Friday, 27 June 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

I'm now at the heaviest I've been in years! Upside: bigger boobs. Downside: huge ass. Feel free to discuss/make horrible "jokes"/etc.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah better watch it fatty. when i met you i got visions of knocking down walls and reinforced stiches on the body bag.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Are all of these Allys you? (mlescaut@att.net), (garance80@yahoo.com)? Or do all the Allys have big asses? *confused*

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh me-fucking-ow! SNAP!

439. is it possible that maybe i just have a bad self-image? when i get this way, i like to think of the care bears, especially that grumpy one. so cute!

xpost, yeah those are all me.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i bet you still fit two of you in a pair of my pants, so i wouldn't sweat it.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, what was the downside?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

god, that sounded way more mann-esque than i intended. sorry.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

ooh jess, you flirt! Anyway that's only the case cos yr so damned tall.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Cue Billy Idol's "Flesh for Fantasy." Thick women rock.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

My mom has always said I have no ass, "just like your father."

Instead, I have humongo thighs and big hips. I would take a nice plump ass any day.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I got too much thighs too. What'd I call that on the other thread, She-Ra ass? That's what's going on here. I am on a diet but just ate potato chips that claimed to have the "essence of French summer" in them (!!!!!!!!!!!! they were delicious!!!) so I guess I'm not that concerned.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm cultivating a bit more ass these days, as I can't let my pregnant wife eat ice cream all by herself, now can I!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

ladies all this fussin over your rumps is unnecessary

ugh, xpost

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, is "ugh" supposed to be at the end of the first line or the beginning of the second?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha best x-post ever j3ss

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, one more dumb question: what's "xpost" mean?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

spencer you will never hear me saying ugh about a woman's fat can

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep, Shera-ass. I mean, that's what I got. Either that or tree legs. I've been spending a lot of time with my mom lately and she is a bad influence. Last night she wanted us to have orange rolls for dinner. FOR DINNER!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

My ass is getting bigger too, Ally - I'm with you, sister

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

the correct term is "piano legs"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, I thought it was more at "ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh" etc. but I guess that would have been "unh"?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i am still failing to discern any bad thing here!!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah me and master p are going cruising for fat-assed hoez later

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ALEX WATCH OUT

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha we're all like 140lbs maybe and we're like OH NO WE'RE SO FAT, I love this thread for reals. When I die, I would like someone to do a dramatic reading of this thread at my funeral.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

My ass is the least of my problems. Uggh, none of my clothes fit!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously, i really do have a "you must weigh at least 160 to ride fiddo" rule

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"only if she 5'3""

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i had no idea ally had 'Hispanicness' in her. time for a donut

― kephm, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

You mean Uggh in a good way, right?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

unnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh

the hotness

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

no, really i just posted that and then got a vison of alex's fat ass backin it up and my genitals turned to stone

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"You got any black in you? Want some?"

― WORST PICKUP LINE EVER (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

You mean stone in a good way, right?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess good thing Millar has different riding requirements otherwise I'd be totally fucked cos I actually had to try to get to 155 when I was 155.

serious xposting, Spencer, ugggh stop doing that.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, you'll notice all the ladies claiming fat-assness have boyfriends

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha seriously I just reread what I wrote to start this thread, wtf kind of "confusion" was I clearing up. "For god's sake that's all there is to this!!!" what the hell?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"riding requirements"?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

meanwhile all the men with fat asses are forced to contemplate the emasculating horror of their own bodies

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

The ice cream cake I'm eating isn't helping.

*ass expanding*

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe we should all form one of those Victorian wasting societies?

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, Spencer. Riding requirements.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

someone please tell me what "xpost" means. *shoots self*

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

whoa. http://special.equisearch.com/giftguide/riding.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"eurofit"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"i like the way eurofittin in them jeans"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost=with this post, I have joined the black muslims

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

She's kind of got a little She-Ra ass going. Nice.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Do I win a prize for weighing the most? OH, well. I have lost TWENTY pounds in the past two years!?!!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"i like the way eurofittin in them jeans"

ugh.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that ugh like "Make 'em say UHHHHGGGGHHHH"?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

haha sarah i seriously doubt you weigh the most of anyone posting to this thread

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

bah¡ several x-post

i bet i weigh less. i am way too skinny.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post is when you go to post something and you get the warning of other posts posted in between the time you opened the thread to when you hit the reply button.) (It is kind of like going somewhere with Ally and her j-lo booty gets in the way.)

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

my ass: still tiny,
after all these lonesome years.
the rest of me: huge.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

people who say "i am way too skinny": dud or death?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

nah nah na nah.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, you'll notice all the ladies claiming fat-assness have boyfriends

The mysteries of the universe has thus been revealed to me. I have cartoonishly large boobs and and a comparatively flat ass; therefore there is no man in my life. In that case do I need to go to Brazil to get butt implants?

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

wait wait, you can get BUTT IMPLANTS??

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

where the hell is that "why are you happy NOW", thread?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

what boyfriend?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Ill.

"i like the way eurofittin in them jeans"

I thought it was funny...

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

wait wait, you can get BUTT IMPLANTS??

with regards to this thread, the circle is now complete.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, I somehow thought I was in the anal thread.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ABC story on butt implants.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

jess, you obviously need to watch more VH1.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/wintermute_v031/alizee.txt

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

it's almost hypnotic

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

that'd be great. it'd be like having those gel insoles in your shoes. except they'd be in your ass. permanently.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you. *weeps*

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

though she could use to go up a dress size or two.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"here at the ILX Corporation, Wednesdays are our special 'All-Anal-Themed' days! Support Your Local Ass Today!"

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

and that's the end of that thread.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

people who say "i am way too skinny": dud or death?
fuck you. i actually hate being as skinny as i am - and have tried to gain weight (failed, obv.). i can't stand the attitude i get about it sometimes. like the fact someone has some complex (not directed at anyone here) about his/her weight weight makes it okay to give me shit about mine, or call me "disgusting" ect.
it's not socially okay to approach some random fat-ass and tell them how gross they are, but some folks seem to feel it's okay to do it to a skinny person. fuck that.

i want a fat ass too. ~ runs out of room weeping¡

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i want a fat ass too.

I believe this was the title of one of Judy Blume's less successful works.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP RUINING MY THREAD!!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going to pretend everything after the Alizee .gif doesn't exist.

Alizee really doesn't have a big ass at all though, she definitely doesn't meet jess's riding requirements.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

How much for your sister?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

For you, $10,000.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://assall.de/movie-prop/gremlins/gre_27.jpg

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm. Would you take a post-dated check?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Sweet merciful crap!

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Nicole I kiss you

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

How about 5K and a body massage?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Can an administrator lock this thread so it is no longer sullied from its previous greatness? Thanx.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

You revived it...

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

i always arrive once the party is over

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Impetuous and stupid mistake made in a halcyon haze of lust for the old. Jess, for the love of god, if yr still reading, lock it.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Just say you want to dip your balls in something and the party begins again

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

OK u know what? This is one of my crazy stupid old threads so I think it is also mine to be rude on.

MOST OF YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT FUNNY. DO YOU NOT SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE IRREVERANCE OF THE PRIOR CONVERSATIONS ON THIS THREAD AND JOKES LIKE THE ABOVE? ILX IS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. I ONLY READ ILX TO READ LIKE 10 PEOPLE'S POSTS BECAUSE I AM TOO LAZY TO EMAIL ANYONE. YOU ALL CAN GO SODOMIZE YOURSELF WITH THE BEESTICK AND BY "YOU ALL" I MEAN KINGFISH AND JIMMY AT THIS EXACT MOMENT. DYSON U R BEING AN EMO MOTHERFUCKER AND U R RUINING MY THREAD BTW.

ALSO I HAVE A HUGE ASS.

DOES THIS RED HUGE FONT MAKE EVERYTHING CLEAR?

That is all.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Also wtf happened to Simon? I liked that guy.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

That's it, I'm calling your sister.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally throws a eurofit.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

: (

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

IF I SAY IT IN BLUE DOES IT MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ISN'T FUNNY??? BEATING A JOKE INTO THE GROUND 450,000 TIMES OVER AND OVER ISN'T FUNNY. LIKE THAT THREAD ABOUT THE GIRL WANTING TO KNOW THE TITLE OF A CHRISTMAS SONG? IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY THE FIRST POST THAT CHANGED THE LETTERS OF THE SONG TO REFLECT HER QUERY. THE NEXT 10 POSTS DOING THE EXACT SAME SHIT WERE NOT FUNNY. JUST LIKE REFERENCING MY SISTER ON EVERY SINGLE THREAD IS NOT FUNNY. IT IS LIKE ABSINTHE, THIS THING CALLED HUMOR, IF YOU OVERDO THE SAME THING YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE FUCKING MISERABLE IN THE MORNING.

(xpost blount this is only half serious, you must know this by now and also you are funny)

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

: (

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

absinthe is fucking nasty

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

ALSO I WANT SOME GODDAMNED PIE.

dude! Absinthe is totally nasty, I was so hopped to have some like for years and then I was like jesus christ, wtf? Seriously, it's all about having bloody marys.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I once set a table on fire after a few friends and I had some, as we stirred in the sugar and lit it we failed to notice we'd spilled bits of the last few shots all over the place and hey presto, blue flaming table. it looked great.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Wouldn't it be better to just set a table on fire without actually having to drink absinthe? Like, while drinking some vodka instead. Ooh or girly fruity drinks!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the joy of being an alcoholic who lives in an alley

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

so I hear

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, you'll notice all the ladies claiming fat-assness have boyfriends

Not true.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I just broke up with Ronan on another thread, perhaps you can do a hook up?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Before they lock the thread, can I make MY wish?

Dear internet gods, please take away my bizarre paddle/snowshoe feet. Or please force the shoe companies to make some weirdo paddle-shaped shoes I can wear. Thank you.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.spearshoes.com/images%5Ccanoe%20petite.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I got my wish! I got my wish! Stop fighting and perhaps everyone's ass will stabilize at optimum assmossity!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

My ass is okay.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

So make a different wish.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmm . . . women with large feet . . . mmmm

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

weirdo!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm . . . weirdo . . . mmmm

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that a wish or a clown fetish?

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

both!

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Shakes to thread!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

or maybe not!

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

in fact, definitely not. how's that?

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

When I first met nabisco (the first ILXOR I ever met) at Wicker Park coffee shop Jinx in Chicago in the summer of 2002, we had the following exchange:

felicity: So who else have you met?
nabisco: bnw, Momus, Tracer, Ally, blah, blah blah . . .
f: Ally!! Does she really have a big ass?
n: No! Based on her thread, I was expecting her to have this great big luscious ass. But she hardly has any ass at all!
f: (very disappointed)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

tell me about it! I actually yelled at her about this once

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

ALLY STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SOURPUSS AND LAUGH IT UP LIKE THE REST OF US. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

(note the purple colour of sexual frustration)

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 December 2003 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Notice how this thread leaves your body alone and changes the world to better suit it? I'm flapping so gaily round the office now in my paddle shoes... flappity!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

ally should i lock it now?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks to Jeanne for making me see and feel Billy Idol's sex attack. This thread is weird.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I have mechanical wings too and laser cannon eyes? (MENACING FLAPPING SOUND)

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaking of big asses....

http://www.thewalldirect.com/images/blue/judge-500.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 4 December 2003 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm seriously never forgiving you for that, Alex.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I meant I wanted laser cannon eyes in my HEAD.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

that picture is like a laser cannon to my EYES

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Just think: there are people out there who own one of those things, and proudly display it their homes.

They must use it as a bottle opener or something.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

*ahem*

I demand to know how many people who have posted on this thread complaining about "fat asses" and the like have ever been at least a size 18. Women's U.S. size 18, just to clarify. Note: This is a command, a demand, not merely a suggestion for voluntary answers.

― Tenacious Dee (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and now I totally want clown shoes!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure I have time to go over the whole thing again, but honestly, Dee, I don't recall seeing that many people complaining.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe I'm wrong, though

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

haha ilx in not actually reading the thread shocker

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

also remind me to piss in alex's eye sockets if i ever meet him for posting that pic

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

'bottle opener'!!

― geeta (geeta), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

one of my exes wore size 18. i've no doubt i thought she was way hot at the time.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

jim was dating sasquatch and i claim my five dollars

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

christ even i only wear 16

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

fiddo i've fancied women who were 20+. i have no shame in that regard

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

is this some weird australia/us conversion thing?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

because my god

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not a matter of shame as much as a matter of WHERE ARE YOU FINDING WOMEN WITH FEET THIS BIG?!?!?!?!!!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

oh wait jim are you talking about clothes size?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

yes

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

damn.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

haha boy is my face red!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah 16 is nothing really

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

it's entirely possible the US/Aus size thing is different

size 12-14 = average sized woman (correct me if i'm wrong anybody)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

oh i understand now

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i doubt i've ever dated anyone (except alex) who was less than a 12

jim we thought you meant shoe size!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

oh. and dude jess I knew you were tall but sheeit. Big shoes! I'm 6'4" and I only wear size 14s.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

now i look like a fuckin idiot with a clown feet fetish

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

looks like it's suicide for me again

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah size 16. it is a curse!!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i havent bought a pair of shoes at a store since i was in jr. high

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

jess in getting his
shoes made for him at night by
happy elves shocker!

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"it's not a matter of shame as much as a matter of WHERE ARE YOU FINDING WOMEN WITH FEET THIS BIG?!?!?!?!!!
-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), December 4th, 2003."

Oh god the patient timing of that one I hate to break 4th wall here but I laughed so loud it pissed off my coworkers...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

it was a great moment

― possible m (mandinina), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

US 12/14 = UK 16

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe that is the same in Australia, I don't know

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I have been an 18(US).

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

nancy was an 18 i think. my ex before her was a 16. i dont think i know one woman right now that is anywhere even close to the "size 6".

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I still think you should lock it jess, yeah.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has been locked by an administrator. Now go home, you unfunny fucks.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't lie.

― ModJ (ModJ), Thursday, 4 December 2003 04:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Say, this is one big-ass thread!

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

jess, that's great, you're wonderful, let's get...oh I've done that too many times today. Never mind.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:34 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, let's just go to bed.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

at least, i am.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.potterwebster.com/images/Big_Ass.jpg

http://www.big-booty.co.uk/DSCF5026.JPG

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a clown in the b--

(sound of someone shoving me downstairs, flappity bam bam oof bonkle crash pause; sound of a single falling paddleshoe)

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 4 December 2003 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Andrew yr post scared the hell out of me!!

Oh and to clear something up, Dee, don't take this the wrong way, I like you, but if you bothered to read any part of the thread including my original query you'd see how inappropriate your "command" is. You can be a size 18 and still have a flat ass.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

So, the point of this thread is to blurt out the thing about your physical appearance that is bugging you the most right this second. Because I just did it. So you should too.

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM SHORT AND I HATE IT. BAH GRR.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm too good looking

― ken c, Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

MY HAIR WONT STAY DOWN TODAY I LOOK LIKE AN ANIME VILLIAN

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU TALL LUCKY BASTARD!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"today"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a lazy eye.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a lazy body.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

My head is too round and my feet are ugly. Uma Thurman ugly.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

But, Nicole, do you wear size 11 in women's shoes?!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a lazy eye too. It goes all Columbo like when I am drunk/tired.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

No, not quite. But their ugliness compensates for it.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish my ass were rounder. It's not flat-flat, but it's not round enough. I suppose I could make it rounder, but that would most likely involve a Stairmaster or something. F that.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I recommend a spa pedicure.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeanne, there's always implants! Jess will probably pay for it.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

call me daddy warbucks, baby.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if it's implants that I need. Maybe just a butt-lift. My boobs, too, while we're at it.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

do they make push-up jeans?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

they have padded jeans

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean the back, not the front, oops.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

HEY DYSON--TELL ME WHAT PART OF DEE TELLING ME/SARAH/LUNA OFF FOR NOT BEING BIG ENOUGH FOR HER HAS TO DO WITH HER DISCUSSING WHAT BUGS HER ABOUT HERSELF? GOD DO I WISH CANADA WOULD SINK INTO THE OCEAN. ALSO I HAVE A POINTY NOSE AND CHIN.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

you are a crescent moon and i claim my $5.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a slight case of mantitties.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I should start wearing shoulder pads like an 80's corporate woman. Obviously it would make me more manly.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i point and mock both of you.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i have slighly poofy nipples.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I jiggle my breasticle in your general direction.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha "slighly" = "slyly", sneaky nippoofles

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

they are wiley.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"breasticle"? FEAR.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

my Ally pic from nonexistent Madison FAP
http://www.collectorsconnection.org/images5/18a269.jpg

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What bothers me is that my brother has a great butt and long legs. I didn't get that gene. Focker. And he can shake it like Beyonce, too. I can't do that either. FOCKER.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

they got the genitals mixed up!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

my sister got all the good genes in the family.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

she is the arnold to my danny devito.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

jeanne yr brother isn't so hot
http://members.aol.com/actnboy/sgtfury2.gif

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmm rugged stubble

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

but if you bothered to read any part of the thread including my original query

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.kenpiercebooks.com/shield3.jpg

man, look at the big ass on the broad behind jeanne's brother

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I started on the whole weight thing with: Do I win a prize for weighing the most? OH, well. I have lost TWENTY pounds in the past two years!?!!

Sorry about that. I definitely don't want to think about how much I weigh anyway right now - too much on my mind!

BUTTS come on BUTTS! BUTTS come on BUTTS!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

jess:like I can look anywhere else!
sarah:pictures!

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

humanity:sorry.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i have: stick limbs, big nostrils, a kinda funny nose, too large eyebrows, less hair than i once did, more hair than than i once did, very small hands

(ps. i know we've covered stuff like this but imho no woman ever needed breast implants ever)

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i love big booty.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://store.shopbop.com/item.jsp?item=BLUE33&category=BLUE

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

haha choose size: "25" is only choice. hahahaha fuckers.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy socks! I'm a Sgt. and a "Nick." I'm suddenly cool!

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

sgt. and nick are the same guy!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

he was frozen after the war and revived during the swinging 60s!

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(possibly a misremembering)

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

is 'mismembering' a word?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

dismembering¿

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

It is if you want it to be, I guess.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 4 December 2003 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Hooray!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

the thing that's bothering me is that my dick's too big

― johnny fitz, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i have to fold it up jus so i can wear shorts

― johnny fitz, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

and even then it kinda stick out a little

― johnny fitz, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish you were dead.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

my tongue is too dexterous

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

don't hate me

― johnny fitz, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

and don't be jelous

― johnny fitz, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, fine don't talk no more

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

just ignore lil old me

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

When Ally starts quoting Cure lyrics, the ass-kicking is just around the corner.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, so it is

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to stab you in the face.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Then I'm going to burn you with my cigarette.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

how about no?

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

you sexy beast

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I really am more jess than jess the past three days.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

how about more sex than fun?

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

That question is not computing.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

doesn't need to

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Worst thread ever. Once again its Ally's fault. Just stop it.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's now a compultion

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

*Elbow to the face*

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

holy shit i was jus looking thru the thread, and i noticed that picture of the fat lady on her bed with a di|do

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

God, I fucking hate this message board and everybody on it. What the hell happened? Is it just me?

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

yes

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

IT IS NOT MY FAULT YOU ASSFACE. THIS THREAD WAS GREAT UNTIL CERTAIN PEOPLE DECIDED TO BE "FUNNY"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK ALL OF YOU WITH HOT STICKS.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Im at work and cannot be bothered with your idle threats. Tom, i really dont want to hear it.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Will no one tell me whatever happened to Simon Larsen? He was a good dude, we need more of him.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

He fell pray to the Stench Daemon from the Violence thread the other week.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just going to start jerking off at work again. This is ridiculous.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

FYI I am not a crescent moon.

I DON'T NEED NEGATIVITY FROM ANYONE RIGHT NOW I'M IN A BRILLIANT MOOD AND EVERYONE ELSE IS RUINING MY VOIBE FUCK THAT.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah jercking is fun

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I just realized the link that Teeny posted to the butt-lifter pants said the pants cost $130. Wot the fock? I'll walk around with my hands lifting my own ass rather than pay that much. Dang.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Shut up!!! Stop it!! When I fucking slit my wrists, all of you are being mentioned in the suicide note. I got brill news today and now I am just ANNOYED at humanity like I ALWAYS am when I read ILX and really I think a good idea would be living in space.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Word, Ally. WTF is with everyone's hostility?

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I totally want to put a Fred Durst photo in this thread but I'm in a computer lab and really don't feel like being seen googling for Fred Durst pics right now.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.health.state.ny.us/nysdoh/consumer/sbs/images/cry.gif

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

(prepares for shit to hit fan.)

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Miccio, you sure are a one trick pony.

― El Spinktor (El Spinktor), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

How abt Captain Sensible instead? He's peeved with something.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38102000/jpg/_38102451_sensible150.jpg

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

(Am I imagining things or were there heated hair curlers called Hot Sticks at one point?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

You're not imagining things, puppet pants.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

GO GO GADGET TRIVIA BRAIN

― Mr Puppet Pants (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

the hell is on the Captain's jaw? is he eating his coat?

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Captain Puppet Pants Butterpants Bee Stick.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Will no one tell me whatever happened to Simon Larsen? He was a good dude, we need more of him.

Simon Larsen is wonderful. You can email him, he'll write back.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

wut's his e-mail?

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

mycock @ isbiggerthanyrs.com

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

go fuck yourself

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I was actually doing that right now! How did you know?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm phycic

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I go to work for four days and you all go mental.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

fucking computer lab macs won't let me find http of pic of Fred Durst shirtless making out with Halle Berry when this thread NEEDS IT SO FUCKING BAD. fuck you computer!

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain woe
Can show through

Discover l.i.m.p. say it
Discover l.i.m.p. say it
Discover l.i.m.p. say it
Discover l.i.m.p. say it

No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one know how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Teaches you for going to work, you bastard. It disturbs the equilibrium around here.

― ALlyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/sadman.jpg

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

don't be jocking my beats, Kingfish.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, that's not true. More Fred Durst pics is not a bad thing. Play on, player!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

what te hell is that thing above Fred's left shoulder anyway? A didjeridoo? did one of his posse go buy a rainstick at the local Natural Wonders?

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't tell whether or not it would be a good thing if Fred Durst went all Graceland on us like that.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

What I don't understand, to distract from this godawful turn of conversation, is why some people don't seem to understand the English language despite being from English-speaking countries. Does anyone want to tackle this in the context of also having a lot of butt?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

You know what's scary? When you're at work and you have a million windows open and minimized and you go to type a post that begins "I have junk in my trunk . . ." and the ILE Contribute an Answer message area remains blank, so you have no idea where the typing went. For all I know my hand slipped and I just emailed the whole department Re: Friday availabity to Interview Candidate with "I have junk in my trunk." Which is really handy for them to know, especially since we are so busy here.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i cut and pasted an ilx thread onto a cisco router by mistake once

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.oznet.ksu.edu/___test/international/new_pict/big%20donkey.gif

― man, Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

― johnny fitz (johnny fitz), Thursday, 4 December 2003 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM SHORT AND I HATE IT. BAH GRR.

Perry, there are worthy things about being short: being easier to cuddle, for one. (Take it from a short chick)

cut and pasted an ilx thread onto a cisco router by mistake once

Heh. How to explain why the router quit working....?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 4 December 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

i miss jess

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 14 April 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

i know. i was just this close to going to the EMP conference but i just couldn't justify the expense.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Thursday, 14 April 2005 23:34 (twenty years ago)

he has been posting on ILM, very recently!

― Samuel Glickstein (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 April 2005 23:35 (twenty years ago)

Madam, it would be rude to disagree with your original ass...ertion.

― groucho, Friday, 15 April 2005 02:48 (twenty years ago)

God, I fucking hate this message board and everybody on it. What the hell happened? Is it just me?
-- TOMBOT (hat...), December 4th, 2003.

― THE EXACT MOMENT TOMBOT SNAPPED, Friday, 15 April 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

there was some key post that day that was deleted from the thread that apparently sparked all of that controversy and screaming. it's kind of funny, now, because i don't remember what it was that was horribly offensive that felicity swooped in and removed for decency's sake!

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 15 April 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

it probably would seem quaint by nu-nu-nu-ilx standards

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 15 April 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Jess has popped up here and there recently. In fact, when I said I missed him, he snorted that he hadn't been gone that long!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 15 April 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

He prefers that those of us who love him do not show it in such a direct and undignified way

― Samuel Glickstein (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 April 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

The Ring

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 20 October 2005 09:57 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

Status report: ass size?

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:23 (nineteen years ago)

ass: solid and lifted, perfect as ever. thanks for asking.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

I was curious abou t the allyass, but tthank you for your report as well

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 09:04 (nineteen years ago)

My arse is perfect. I have a suggestion to you all, Get your arse's out of the chair and get it around the block a couple of times. You will loose more fat off your chunky butt by buying a laptop, so that way you could still play with your precious computers. STUPID LITTLE INTERNET GEEKS - YOU WONDER WHY YOUR ARSE'S ARE HUGE, ALL YOU DO IS SIT DOWN AND EAT!!!! FATTIES. A DRAG ON SOCIETY.

― Why Don't All You Computer Geeks Get A Life, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 08:51 (nineteen years ago)

A dragon society would be fantastic.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 09:04 (nineteen years ago)

perfect white girl:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/govtnames/fatazzwhitegurl.jpg

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/govtnames/maaaaaaaaaan.jpg

you gotta check out the profile to see the true effect:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/govtnames/PICT0078.jpg

my friend and i stood around for like ten minutes taking her picture. she was working for the local country music station and doing on-air shit with the old dude there. she had the sweetest prettiest countrygirl accent, too. we talked to her for a minute and asked if we could take her picture but none of those ones turned out good.

― 3333333333, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 09:05 (nineteen years ago)

whoa

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

ally we dont believe you have a big ass. but we might if we see a picture.

― okok, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

Chorus]
We lookin' for dem J. Lo booties big ol' ass round and fat
(Let me squeeze it)
(Let me squeeze it)
When she take it to da floor I wanna hit it from da back
(Let me squeeze it)
(Let me squeeze it)
All you ladies pop your pussy like this (Yo)
Shake your body don?t stop don?t miss (Wooo)
[Frayser Boy]
Man she got me in a zone
When I watch this broad past by
Been diggin? at this bitch all night, but this my last try
I'm tryna see whats up, you know a nigga tryna fuck
If you want your girly girl then I settle for a suck
You got a thug on the scene, in the club on some green
A nigga ain't genuine but tryna get up in those jeans
Frayser Boy thats the name
Fuck another I'm the mann
Bangin drink after drink to get ya drunk
I'm tryna bang
[Crunchy Black]
Where ya at, whoa
Where ya at, whoa
CB wanna hit ya from the back, whoa
And when I grab your girl don't hollah 'let go'
Cuz I like a girl with a big back bro
I mean she stacked low
And when I tackzo(????)
I shoot that thang like I'm shootin' off a mac, ho
It ain't no game I play when it come to D
And if you get it from me, you gettin' dope D (Dope D)
[Chorus x 2]
All you ladies pop your pussy like this (yo)
Shake your body don?t stop don?t miss
[Juicy J]
Juicy J is pimpy
Not always all friendly
I wanna get that chewin' like from Monica Lewinsky
She can call me (Popppy)
Hangin' low and (Floppy)
When I get behind her ass she tell me (Boy, you got me)
I don't care for size 4
I just want a size more
Big old J. Lo booty what a wedding good she sized for (??)
Bring it up (Bring it up)
Back it back Back it back)
Make it wiggle (Make it wiggle)
Make it jiggle, make it clap
[Lil Wyte]
Let me squeeze it and don't tease it
Gotta get it I done seen it
Soon as she drop it to the floor
Its over for this one this evening
I might leave it stick it drippin' up out the side of her secret
Victoria probably gonna be pissed whenever she sees it
But once you got me goin' its on
Ain't no reason for you to be wantin' to go home
Ya got to give it to me nice and round that big J. Lo booty
I need it badly I'd be happy top it off she a cutie
[Chorus x 2]
All you ladies pop your pussy like this (yeah yeah!)
Shake your body don?t stop don?t miss (yeah yeah yeah!)
[DJ Paul]
I'm lookin' for the J. Lo booty
But I ain't Ben Affleck
And I ain't did it
And I ain't the dude that taught her to dance like that
I'm just a dirty dirty down south gold mouth nigga
Can't remember the last time I only saw six figures
I bang a bad big booty thang daily
I did more stars than that boy Carson Daily
And if you nice you ain't even gotta pay me
But if you ugly hit the bank, we'll draw the savings
[Lord Infamous]
I know this broad
She licked the infamous so good
She make me wanna cry
And if she wasn't such a dog
I'd hit a doggy every night
They put the FREE- in freak
The -UT in slut
They put the -AMP in tramp
And catch it when I take off the glove
She give brain and sayin' I called her Daina Brainiac
Let me meet the family all the women nymphomaniacs
She got the biggest brown round that ya ever seen
Lordomaniac I'll make her hit the club and make that cheese

― will(iam), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sorry to disappoint but I've lost a lot of weight since I started posting on ILX. I've still got a sticky-out butt for my size, but in no way could it be construed as a big ass. Sorry.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

you're going to make Lil' Wyte cry.
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c163/wvferrell/lilwyte1.jpg

― will(iam), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

my kingdom for my ile mod privs back

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

wtf

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

white grrl

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

If that's the perfect white girl, I'm not eating enough ice cream. Or cheese. Any excuse for cheese.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

PWG is definitely cute.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

how can you tell? They didn't bother to get her face.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

i am not opening that link at work, but i can guess that ass is nowhere big enough.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

Her face is in the third photo! Also, I like her flip-flops.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

she's not that hott

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

flip-flops = eww

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

trouble bubble

― latebloomer: Let's just say I do for bullshit what Stonehenge did for Rocks (lat, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

No, her cheek and a bit of her nose is in the photo! I'm with mookie on flip-flops.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

white trash

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

pix plz

― alex t, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

alex, they're posted RIGHT ON THE THREAD.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, scroll up dude bro.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

kthxlol

― alex t, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

She looks like she's really bored.

― Dan ("Why Y'all Tryin' Ta Bounce Acorns Off Ma Butt?") Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

This thred got boring

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I know.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:19 (nineteen years ago)

I like the ass but object to the objectification.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

would you object to my foot up your ass?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

God dammit, Tuomas be a dude for once...

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

(Jess, those pics are totally SFW)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

I guess no one caught the joke in my last post.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:32 (nineteen years ago)

IT SUCKED

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

Those pictures were taken in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

White trash exists in canadia too...

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

happy valley park, moose jaw, SK, canada. july 9, 2005.

― 3333333333, Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:24 (nineteen years ago)

http://charlesoulie.free.fr/momo/Alizee%20beau%20cul.jpg

― Dan (You're Welcome) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:28 (nineteen years ago)

http://transformerwrestling.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/alizee%20slow%20mo.gif

― Dan (You're Really Welcome) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

tripod: it's got a GREAT ASS

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:44 (nineteen years ago)

YOU KNOW IT

― Dan (Fucksticks) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ffuniverse.nu/ffta/img/01.jpg

― Dan (FOR TEH LADEEZ) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:52 (nineteen years ago)

That still looks like one of the lollys from Santa Claus: The Movie

― kingfish russian bigamist (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:Oj0Q1jtHyysJ:www.georgemichaelforums.com/specialpic/gmf-butt.jpg

― Dan (REAL ONE FOR TEH LADEEZ) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:00 (nineteen years ago)

"ladies"

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:00 (nineteen years ago)

LADEEZ like gay men, too.

― Dan (All Hail Kinsey) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:03 (nineteen years ago)

man re-reading this thread i havent laughed that hard in weeks

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

A big ass is not so unvirtuous as a big pancreas.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

man re-reading this thread i havent laughed that hard in weeks

Too bad that spirit isn't maintained in this latest round of updates.

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

haha i'm just gonna bite my tongue for once

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

I always get kind of a little tear in my eye when people revive super old threads and I reread the whole thing cos they'll have some super funny shit on them then I get to the end and it's like a bunch of people jibber jabbering and I'm like ok wtf happened to my work of art, my child, my gift to the world.

Then I go on, like, the Mac thread and tear some losers a new one about their faggy crap and feel better.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

The only one that seems to get consistently better is the Lohang thread... mostly because of the subject matter, obviously...

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

It gets better while she gets worse...the law of celebrity threads really.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

It's the closest thing to a perpetual noise thread on ILE, I think...

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

That thread doesn't really get better though, I mean your expectations have been lowered if you think it's very good to start with. The only potential positive is photos of Lindsay, which has become an increasing potential negative over time anyway.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder what Frankie Muniz would look like with a big ass.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:54 (nineteen years ago)

:'(

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.freephile.com/images/HughJass.gif

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 11 January 2007 07:56 (eighteen years ago)

Yo Pomp, what's up with the controversial threads-revivals?

The sound of 300 pounds of lard banging against the wall...

and now this one... :-/

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 11 January 2007 08:08 (eighteen years ago)

when i saw this thread, i thought that i might have started it actually.

ally: kudos.

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 11 January 2007 08:08 (eighteen years ago)

boredom & booze, plus it's interesting to see how personalities have evolved, or devolved over time
xpost

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 11 January 2007 08:10 (eighteen years ago)

oh, ok, no prob - thought you were trying to restart old fights or something.

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 11 January 2007 08:15 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

I will cry at the lack of bootie during my trip to japan.

― Windy G Moisture, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:28 (eighteen years ago)

oh man this fucking thread

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:28 (eighteen years ago)

Skipping 508 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

dare i?

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:34 (eighteen years ago)

lots of january 11 msgs there.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

i have a big ass.

― lauren, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:41 (eighteen years ago)

I really hope I did not post here about my big ass.

― David R., Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:42 (eighteen years ago)

this must be some sort of epicentre

― unfished business, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:47 (eighteen years ago)

ok wtf do not dare it gets crrrazy

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:50 (eighteen years ago)

Ally, I thought it was more that you had short legs?

― Michael White, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:56 (eighteen years ago)

my cock is just too impossibly gigantic

― the sir weeze, Thursday, 1 March 2007 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

Think of how the hens feel.

― Michael White, Thursday, 1 March 2007 23:23 (eighteen years ago)

if there is one thing that is true about me, i have very stumpy legs and i am grotesquely obese, it's true.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 2 March 2007 00:13 (eighteen years ago)

I used to be a fattie-- like 5'5", 205 lbs fattie. Thanks to some years of less than healthy habits, I am now 130-135, 5'9".

My problem, then? STRETCH MARKS. My hips look like shit.

― the table is the table, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:21 (eighteen years ago)

I have attack ribs. Don't ask.

― John Justen, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:21 (eighteen years ago)

"STRETCH MARKS. My hips look like shit."
I like those.

― Windy G Moisture, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:26 (eighteen years ago)

i have a big ass.

show off.

― DavidM, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:27 (eighteen years ago)

i would like a bigger ass. mine is rubbish.

― emsk, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:55 (eighteen years ago)

It appears that you've found a thread full of donors.

― John Justen, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:59 (eighteen years ago)

i wish we could still post to ilx in giant red and blue letters ;_;

― TOMBOT, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:00 (eighteen years ago)

http://images.dmusic.com/v7/emoticons/zzz.gif

― am0n, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:01 (eighteen years ago)

wait i'm not tombot

― TOMBOT, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:02 (eighteen years ago)

i am soft and cuddly. i never asked for this.

― kenan, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:12 (eighteen years ago)

small hands

― gbx, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:15 (eighteen years ago)

you know what that means, don't you?

har har lolz gbx hung like raisin etc

― kenan, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:22 (eighteen years ago)

shut up kenan

― gbx, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:25 (eighteen years ago)

haha

― lfam, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:43 (eighteen years ago)

http://myspace-295.vo.llnwd.net/00084/59/29/84489295_m.jpg

Sometimes my webbed feet make shoe-shopping a pain.

― Maria :D, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:44 (eighteen years ago)

my face is red all the time for some reason. it bugs me.

― t0dd swiss, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:50 (eighteen years ago)

I once got an offer for a blow job from a 70 year old
I laughed and told him i really didn't feel like being gummed
I feel bad about that.

anthony on Thursday, July 12, 2001 8:00 PM (5 years ago)

― forksclovetofu, Friday, 2 March 2007 02:48 (eighteen years ago)

Posture

― peepee, Friday, 2 March 2007 03:04 (eighteen years ago)

I really hope I did not post here about my big ass

― HI DERE, Friday, 2 March 2007 03:15 (eighteen years ago)

nine months pass...

the first signs of jigglage in my entire life in my chestal area. and I'm still thin as hell (under 170 pounds), but for the first time in my life I gain weight!

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:46 (seventeen years ago)

not that manboobs are in the future since I still look like Waldo

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:48 (seventeen years ago)

SUnrise, sunset...

were you jumping on a trampoline during this epiphany?

― Abbott, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:56 (seventeen years ago)

No, Kriss Kross was playing....

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:57 (seventeen years ago)

It wasn't your fault that you missed the bus. :(

― Abbott, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:58 (seventeen years ago)

I still have that cassingle somewhere....

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:58 (seventeen years ago)

I'm a pretty boy. I lack several uberman qualities. On the other hand, I am great at being an insufferable jackass when I want to be one.

― CaptainLorax, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 03:57 (seventeen years ago)

What are you on about?

― W4LTER, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 04:03 (seventeen years ago)

What we need here is a jpeg of a steatopygous female. I am sure it will make Ally feel better. I rather like this one:

http://www.cryptomundo.com/wp-content/uploads/steatopygia.jpg

― Aimless, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 04:18 (seventeen years ago)

baby's got... soul
http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/5789/l312c86e2de2f0aad9dad99uy2.jpg

― CaptainLorax, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 05:34 (seventeen years ago)

where's adam schefter been lately, anyway?

― kingfish, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 05:39 (seventeen years ago)

Running around on Facebook.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 08:30 (seventeen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.