"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."

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If it's green, your intestine's clean.
If it's red, you'll soon be dead.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

care to share the um, non-lost stanzas?

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

He already did!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

oh, that's it? i thought there might be more.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

"If it's blue, it's not really poo."

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

"If it's orange/Oh shit"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

if it's pink, it's gonna stink
if it's orange, nothing rhymes with orange. or silver.

xpost DAMN YOU

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:41 (twenty years ago)

if it's blue and it hurts, stop eating whole live smurfs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

If it's purple, then you're Richard Gere and you shouldn't have done that with that gerbil.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

if it's fragrant, you're a vagrant
if it's damp, you're a tramp.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

"If it's orange, lay off the haliborange!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

If it's maroon, clean your poon!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

If it's striped, you're a biped.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

If it was puce, it musta been loose.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

if it's grey, don't eat all day
if's it spotty, wash your botty.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

If it's magenta, you've been eating placenta.
If it's black, send it back.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

If it's chartreuse, call the six o'clock news.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

IF it's a mongoose, you're a moose.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

If it should speak, it is not a leak.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

if you smile, sit a while
if you yelp, get medical help

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

If it's cyan, you da man.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

If it's verdigris, you've got burger in your pee.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

Some folk were opening up the clubhouse of the rugby club after the close season had finished, prior to opening up properly, to tidy up and that. Anyway, one of them found a squirrel, dead and decomposed, in the toilet bowl, and exclaimed "WHO'S ATE THIS!!??"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

If it's onerous, it'll be odorous.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

If it's rainbow-hued, then you're a diverse kind of dude.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

If it looks like squirrel, give the bowl a whirl.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

If it's Pantone #3472, good for you.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

if it's black and white, get a new bunghole, this isn't the 1950s ffs

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

If it hollers, cut out the nightcrawlers (from your diet).

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

If it's scarlet, you're a harlot
If it's crimson, it was bad dim sum
If it's teal, watch it congeal
If it's plaid, your shit is rad

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

If it's aquamarine...just call it green.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

If it looks like art, who knows maybe you're karen findley or something.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

If it's a table, no look closer that's physically unable
No you fool, it's more a stool.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

If it's paisley, that shit is crazy.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

If you dealt it, be prepared to have smelt it.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

If it's magenta, someone dosed your polenta

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

if it's white, it's 80s dog shite (doesn't scan well, but nm)

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

lock thread.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

(actually according to a certain girl scout camp, "if it's green, don't let it be seen.")

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

Well, they would know.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

If it's tweedy, lay off the Wheaties

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

If it's violet, you will revile it.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

If it's a green log, you really did ingest the crazy frog

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

If it's maroon, you're a cartoon.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

If it's ecru, it's not poopoo.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

If it's tartan, there'll be fartin'

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

If it's gold, it should be sold
If it's bronze, you poo like the Fonz
If it's copper, for style points you are the Big Bopper.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

If it sparkles, it once was charcoal (tightasses only)

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

If it's stripey, wipey, wipey

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

If it's irridescent, it won't smell very pleasant

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

If it gushes, multiple flushes

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:31 (twenty years ago)

This thread is wrong. We should all be very ashamed of ourselves.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Oh I am. I am.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

If it's grey, you've made my day.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

me too, tbh. i've posted more on this thread than any other. feel unclean.

if it's black, see a quack.

x-post

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

if its round like a cherry, your own dingleberry!

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

If it burns, see a doctor.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

If it smells like roses, lay off the acid doses.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

If you're huffin' n' puffin', next time eat a bran muffin

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

If it's azure, that's some fancy manure!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

Yay, Huk. I couldn't find a rhyme for azure I liked.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

If it's nacreous, check your pancreas.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

M. White's are makin' me roffle.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

If it's fuschia, try a douche, ahhhh.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

If it's cobalt, it ain't my fault!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

If it's Prussian (blue), Stop rushin' (the poo)

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

If it's cyan, don't stop tryan'.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

if its tangy and brown, youre in cider town
if its clear and yella, you got juice there fella

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

If your shit is process red,
Check yourself — you might be dead.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

READ TEH FIRST POST, FOOL.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

If it's turquoise, don't lose your equipoise

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

If it's (Courtesy Wikipedia, the current Crayola Colors):

Almond (1998), don't eat palm fronds.

Antique Brass (1998), you've a magique ass.

Apricot (1949), expect a sore spot.

Aquamarine (1958), don't be obscene.

Asparagus (1993), it might worry us.

Atomic Tangerine (1990), you're probably a machine.

Banana Mania (1998), go to Pennsylvania.

Beaver (1998), call Mike Seaver!

Bittersweet (1949), DON'T EAT.

Black (1903), wipe yr crack.

Blue (1903), that's magic poo!

Blue Bell (1998), it lacks poo smell.

Blue Green (1949), I know where you've been.

Blue Violet (1949), flush the tiolet.

Brick Red (1949), you're addicted.

Brink Pink (1998), you've got fink stink.

Brown (1903), go to town.

Burnt Orange (1958), etc.

Burnt Sienna (1949), wipe with a tenna.

HERE'S WHERE I PASS IT ON!

Cadet Blue (1958)

Canary (1998)

Caribbean Green (1998)

Carnation Pink (1949)

Cerise (1993)

Cerulean (1990)

Chestnut (1999)

Copper (1958)

Cornflower (1949)

Cotton Candy (1998)

Cranberry (1998)

Dandelion (1990)

Denim (1993)

Desert Sand (1998)

Eggplant (1998)

Electric Lime (1990)

Fern (1998)

Forest Green (1958)

Fuchsia (1990)

Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown (1998)

Gold (1949)

Goldenrod (1958)

Granny Smith Apple (1993)

Gray (1949)

Green (1903)

Green Yellow (1949)

Hot Magenta (1990)

Inch Worm (2003)

Indigo (2000)

Jazzberry Jam (2003)

Jungle Green (1990)

Laser Lemon (1990)

Lavender (1958)

Macaroni and Cheese (1993)

Magenta (1949)

Mahogany (1949)

Manatee (1998)

Mango Tango (2003)

Maroon (1949)

Mauvelous (1993)

Melon (1949)

Midnight Blue (1958)

Mountain Meadow (1998)

Navy Blue (1958)

Neon Carrot (1990)

Olive Green (1949)

Orange (1903)

Orchid (1949)

Outer Space (1998)

Outrageous Orange (1990)

Pacific Blue (1993)

Peach (1962)

Periwinkle (1949)

Pig Pink (1998)

Pine Green (1949)

Pink Flamingo (1998)

Plum (1958)

Purple Heart (1998)

Purple Mountain's Majesty (1993)

Purple Pizzazz (1990)

Radical Red (1990)

Raw Sienna (1958)

Razzle Dazzle Rose (1990)

Razzmatazz (1993)

Red (1903)

Red Orange (1949)

Red Violet (1949)

Robin's Egg Blue (1993)

Royal Purple (1990)

Salmon (1949)

Scarlet (2000)

Screamin’ Green (1990)

Sea Green (1949)

Sepia (1958)

Shadow (1998)

Shamrock (?)

Shocking Pink (1990)

Silver (1949)

Sky Blue (1958)

Spring Green (1949)

Sunglow (1990)

Sunset Orange (1998)

Tan (1949)

Tickle Me Pink (1993)

Timber Wolf (1993)

Torch Red (1998)

Tropical Rain Forest (1993)

Tumbleweed (1993)

Turquoise Blue (1949)

Unmellow Yellow (1990)

Violet (1903)

Violet Red (1949)

Vivid Tangerine (1990)

Vivid Violet (1998)

Wild Blue Yonder (2003)

Wild Strawberry (1990)

Wild Watermelon (1990)

Wisteria (1993)

Yellow (1903)

Yellow Green (1949)

Yellow Orange (1949)

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

If it's cadet blue, it's a military poo

― You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

If it's shiny, scrub your heiney

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

If it crackles, medicate your tackle

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

If it throbs, soak your nob

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

If it's sepia, that's creepy, huh?

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

If it's khaki, your shit is wacky

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

If it's blurred, it's a furry old turd.

― You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

If it's macaroni and cheese, wipe it with the trees

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

If it's peach, drop in a leech

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

If it's Wild Watermelon (1990), it deserves a second smellin'.

― You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

If it's canary, you'd best be wary

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

"When the weather's hot and sticky, that's no time to dunk your dicky,
When the frost is on the pumpkin, that's the time for dicky dunking"

The man who gave me this sage advice claims he was, it is claimed, dunking his dicky in Agnetha from Abba in the late 70s. I'm not sure I believe these claims.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

This is reminding me of the oh so lovely sign you see in some office ladies loos:

If you sprinkle
While you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Wipe the seatie!

God, just put a furry cover on the toilet lid and a frilly dolly cover over the spare roll and be fucking done with it already.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

In Hebrew:

Peepee sahov -- lo tov.
Peepee lavan -- mitzuyan!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

(Translation: Yellow peepee -- no good. Clear peepee (white peepee) -- excellent!)

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

this is the funniest thread ever.

it's like Ken Nordine when he was 5

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:51 (twenty years ago)

THE LOST CO-STANZA

http://phonogram.us/images/viewpoint/george/georgeds.jpg

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:51 (twenty years ago)

If it's copper, fetch a stopper!
If it's golden, shut your whole, then!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

Uh, sorry that should read "hole, then"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

I boggle at this thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

Si es rojo, estas loco!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 02:01 (twenty years ago)

if you're a Taurus, see your florist!

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 9 June 2005 02:45 (twenty years ago)

Si c'est jaune, tu es Antoine de Caunes.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 09:35 (twenty years ago)

If it's Wisteria you might have listeria.

If it's temporarily harmlessly dark and dismal,
you've been taking Pepto-Bismol.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 9 June 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

If it glows, it be worthy of prose!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

If it blurps as it come, you've been getting some.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:50 (twenty years ago)

If nothing's a-comin', you must be a woman.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

If it's a manatee,
are you sure it's a poo and you're not a pregnant manatee?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

i cannot believe i haven't been on this thread yet

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Accentmonkey wins!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

if it's semi-solid, i find it rather squalid

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

if it's vivid violet, better change your diet.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

if it's pink and mushy, you've been eating pussy

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

If it took a quick glance, and back inside curled,
you'll have to admit this: it's a cold world.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

when it's radioactive, it's really not attactive

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

if it smells like biryani, you won't be getting any

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

if it looks like vindaloo, maybe it's just deja vu.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...) (webmail), June 8th, 2005 8:40 AM. (later)

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

IT'S THE CHORUS!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

If it's lavender, get new provender

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

If it's navy, quit eating babies.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

If it's teal, you've broken a seal

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

IT'S THE CHORUS!

Someone should totally set this thread to music. Billy Bragg, I think.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

If it glimmers, flush those swimmers

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

If it's the colour of money, don't try to spend it, honey.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

If it's cherry, dysentery!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

If it's speckled, you'll be heckled.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

If it bleeds, it breeds.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

SO WRONG!!!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

If it makes you shudder, call your Mudder

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

You guys are, like, the grand wizards of rhyming poop jokes. Whoda thunk it?

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

If it's quince, you're bound to wince

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

If it's Granny Smith Apple, what a crapple!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

if it floats, sell it as boats!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

If it's hyacinth, quit eating hyacinths.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

If it steams, turn off your high-beams!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

If it oozes, it's Ini Kamooze's!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

Borborygmic Hilarity

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

If it's clear, though, you're my hero!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

This is reminding me of the oh so lovely sign you see in some office ladies loos:
If you sprinkle
While you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Wipe the seatie!
God, just put a furry cover on the toilet lid and a frilly dolly cover over the spare roll and be fucking done with it already.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...) (webmail), June 8th, 2005 7:06 PM.

trayce i always thought that sign was directed at men. how is it even possible for a girl to sprinkle on the seatie?

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

If it's gooey, avoid the ratatouille

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

If it's cerulean, please don't clue me in

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

If it's louche, LYSOL DOUCHE!!!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

If it's over-articulated, you've been eating Rob Liefeld!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

If it whistles, flush those shizzles.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

If it bubbles, Ai! The troubles!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

If it should sing, clean your ring!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

If it's slurry, time to worry

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

If it's maize, you'll stink for days.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

If it's Periwinkle, you'll find it painful to tinkle

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

If it's ebony, it's all that's left of me.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

That last one sounds like it could be a Donny Hathaway lyric.

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...

Londoners Advised Not to Flush

June 29, 2005 3:03 p.m. EST

Christina Ficara - All Headline News Staff Reporter

London, England (AHN) - In response to threatening water shortage reports, Mayor Ken Livingstone suggests residents not "flush the lavatory if you have just had a pee."

The water shortage facing the south of England forced Livingstone to take dramatic action to avert a crisis and address the situation.

At a press conference at City Hall, Livingstone suggested, "The quickest and most dramatic impact is, don't use a sprinkler or hose in the garden, don't use a hose to wash your car and don't flush the lavatory if you have just had a pee."

According to Livingstone, the measure would be a matter of personal choice, admitting he had changed his own behavior.

― dahlin (dahlin), Thursday, 30 June 2005 07:51 (twenty years ago)

go kenny!

― dahlin (dahlin), Thursday, 30 June 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

Wait, wait, here we go:

If it's yellow,
let it mellow;
if it's brown,
flush it down.
If it's runny,
THAT'S NOT FUNNY--
eat some fiber,
you wet-ass clown!

If it's rock-like,
be all Spock-like:
it's logical
to eat more fruit.
If it's noisy,
call your boys, G!
They will laugh
at every toot.

If it's stringy,
check your thingy
for colonic
parasites:
creepy tapeworms,
anal gapeworms,
wriggling butt-germs
that's not right!

If it's tiny,
lube your hiney;
maybe that'll
stretch it out.
If it's giant,
hope you're pliant!
Don't let neighbors
hear you shout.

But if it's poopy,
not too goopy,
pat yourself
right on the back.
Shut your hole and
flush the bowl and
don't forget
to wipe your crack!

― criscothingy, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

LYSOL DOUCHE

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

A couple years ago over the holidays the toilet broke as my brother tried to flush it, so he came in to warn everybody not to use it until he could get to home depot to buy some part to fix it. He just walked into the room and looked at me and said

"If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown... um... let it mellow."

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

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"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." - The Lost Stanzas