My Wife Just Walked Out, Should I Be Worried?

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I told her she projected negativity and that was it. She said something about lawyers. What do I do?

― LOGG ED O UT, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

dude i don't think ilx can help you.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

somehow, I suspect that there's a little more to it than "that was it".

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

so h do you log on from the bar or what? I mean, what time is it over there...?

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

dude i'm at work. friday night means friday night games, natch.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:41 (twenty years ago)

OK, there's probably more, but still I don't know what to do, it's never been like this.

― LOGG ED O UT, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

dude, how long you been married?

get used to hearing that? it's like a totally normal irrational reaction from a married partner. either that or i'm in a very disfunctional marriage (gygax, don't answer that)

― Hugh Jarmes (jaxon), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:46 (twenty years ago)

you're better off

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

THIS IS GABBNEB

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

oh lawyers.. meaning.. DIVORCE?

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

Nope.

I've been married 3 yrs in July. The walkout has never before occurred.

― LOGG ED O UT, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:53 (twenty years ago)

Nope meaning gabbneb. Is not.

― LOGG ED O UT, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:54 (twenty years ago)

go chase her down. She'll resent you even more if she has to come back. Leave a note in case she does come back while you're gone. Apologize and take her out for a sundae.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:56 (twenty years ago)

i'm sure her walkout was somehow ILX related.

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:56 (twenty years ago)

i don't think mr. gabbneb is married, but i forget.

anyway, dude, you need help from somebody who can actually help you, as opposed to internet mentalists.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

I'm not going anywhere. Here with the baby. Don't know which way she's gone. Sundae is a good idea. Maybe it'll work.

― LOGG ED O UT, Friday, 17 June 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

First time you've spoken to her about her "negativity"?

Nobody just walks out after the very first time they've felt like they were treated badly.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 17 June 2005 23:59 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, first time, seriously.

hstencil, I love how you keep calling me DUDE.

― LOGG ED O UT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

he does that.

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:02 (twenty years ago)

teeny 100% otm. Even if you feel like it is irrational, you gotta contact her somehow. If it is totally irrational and you're totally 100% honest that that was basically it and no prior major things like that, she'll get over it and apologize and y'all can talk about it but if you don't go and hunt her ass down, she'll hold that shit against you a long, long time. Trust me. Dude.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:03 (twenty years ago)

also for future reference next time you get into a bad argument do not ever, ever post to ILX as your first choice of action. She comes home and you're sitting your ass on the internet and seemingly unconcerned (key word seemingly) she's gonna stab you. Seriously.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:04 (twenty years ago)

dude, i got mad love for the dude, dude.

― hstencil (hstencil), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:04 (twenty years ago)

also allyzay completely otm, dude.

― hstencil (hstencil), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:05 (twenty years ago)

mad xpost

I would do that, except that she left, no idea where, and there is a baby in the house (sleeping). I can't leave.

I called her cell but it is on our bed, ringing. I'm fucked, and this is new to me. Not being fucked, but being left by my wife.

― LOGG ED O UT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

Act like you don't care. She WANTS you to care. Don't give her the satisfaction! :lol:

― Stoner Guy, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:07 (twenty years ago)

you're not even telling us what happened

― logged in, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

Let's see... who has a baby on ILX? Let's see if we can crack this one, gang. I'm sick of logged out people with problems.

― Man Who Has Never Logged IN In His Life, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

Who says "mad xpost"? I'm running a search but it's SLOW.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

The fact she didn't take the baby probably means she'll be back. You need to talk if you want her to stay. Marriage counseling? Find out what's wrong and why she's negative. Is she really in love with you? Does she know if she is? If the love is there, then you can work out the problems. If you're sorry tell her so, if you love her intensely, tell her. TALK!!! If she won't talk, then it might be over. Is she keeping anything from you?

I am so sorry! I feel your pain and confusion. My hubby and I are going thru a rough spell too and I don't think it can be fixed. We don't seem to be in love with each other anymore and now we seem to be just roommates, and bad one's at that no respect and he does seem negative and I told him so, and got a similar reaction that you did. He unfortunately won't talk to me about it, so I don't know what the trouble is, which is frustrating as hell. When you can talk to her, ask if she will go with you to marriage counseing and see what she says. I hear it is helpful. Best of luck, hang in there. We're here for you.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:15 (twenty years ago)

if there's any way to get a sitter/neighbor over to watch the baby, do that. Otherwise maybe put the little one in a car seat and start cruising. fucking up the kid's sleep routine > fucking up everything else. One step at a time, just find her first and worry about the rest later.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

who are her friends? Where would she go? Local hangout, watering hole? Call her best buddy and alert her to the issue and see if she can 1, sit with baby or 2 go find her and talk to her and find out the status.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

Take the baby with you. "Let's go find mommy!"

I can think of two people here with babies but I don't think it's either of them.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

and the ice cream bit is seriously important. get her blood sugar up to normal and get away from the scene of the crime.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

i am so never gonna get married

― hstencil (hstencil), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

yep. marriage is a pip all right.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:21 (twenty years ago)

or you could just wait it out and let her blow off some steam, no need to be like 'to the batmobile!' it's not like she forgot you two have a baby or a three-year marriage, and it's not like you're going to have some kind of romantic kiss in the rain and everything will be fine. when someone walks out, maybe they DON'T want to be followed, especially if they are a mother who probably isn't going anywhere.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

No no no, if you're friends it's the best thing ever. With benefits!
My wife and I have never told each other we project negativity.
(xpost to hstencil)

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:24 (twenty years ago)

Haikunym OTM. Has she had one minute of privacy since the baby was born?

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

Is she really in love with you?

This is some crazy shit to think about. I can't imagine. There's been nothing but love, really first time. The thing is, this is about our baby, maybe. Been sick, I told her that she is projecting negativity (always talking about him being sick, illness, what can go wrong, always telling what is theproblem) and I got fed up and told her she should be more positive. That's when she got mad. But I think it is on top of other shit, b/c she talked about leaving for good. We've had a rough couple of weeks in general, hospitals, too much work, etc.. Just not communicating well. I tried to get her to talk to me before she left.

― LOGG ED O UT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:28 (twenty years ago)

Has she had one minute of privacy since the baby was born?

She told me today she was driving in the car and felt alone and happy for the first time really. This is otm, maybe.

― LOGG ED O UT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

Let's see... who has a baby on ILX? Let's see if we can crack this one, gang. I'm sick of logged out people with problems.

are suggesting that LOGG ED OUT should listen to some killing joke? *hint*

― LOGON ROCK WITCH, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

you know what dude that's not even cool.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

you think alex in nyc has a car?

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

Let's not try to guess who. These are some tired people with a sick baby who are having some problems, like people do, and loggedout can't leave the baby and wants to talk about it and is entitled to privacy if he wants it. No-one has to read or comment if they don't want to and ILX doesn't have to know who it is. Maybe loggedout would like to post later and be cheerful and not have people thinking about his private problems foreverafter, long after they are resolved, which I hope they are. I feel for parents with sick babies, it's a very difficult thing to deal with. Good luck loggedout.

― estela (estela), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:40 (twenty years ago)

yeah, guessing game is pretty lame, dudes.

― hstencil (hstencil), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

I told her that she is projecting negativity (always talking about him being sick, illness, what can go wrong, always telling what is theproblem) and I got fed up and told her she should be more positive

Ouch. I'm sure to her that sounds like you're blaming her for your baby's illness.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

Assuming she comes back and this isn't suddenly THE END, make sure you give her a regular night away from the kid every week. Either her night out with friends, or you and the baby go out somewhere, even if it's just grocery shopping, and let her have as long as she wants soaking in a hot tub with a glass of wine. Come back home with the baby and say "look what we found, a pint of your favorite ice cream!" If she's still negative after that...counseling.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:47 (twenty years ago)

Ouch. I'm sure to her that sounds like you're blaming her for your baby's illness.

I'm not at all, but I'm sure it seems that way, yes.

make sure you give her a regular night away from the kid every week.

This is good advice. She hasn't had much alone time at all in the last 8 or so month. But still, not back yet, and that fucks me up.

(Sorry I am logged out, all you guessers, just feel weird/too personal about it, but have been posting for 3-4 years)

― LOGG ED O UT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

I'm not at all, but I'm sure it seems that way, yes.

Yeah, I know that was probably not at all your intention but it could easily be read that way by someone who is tired and stressed out.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

But I also know how you feel.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

Logged out, I wish I could offer better advice than teeny or the others. I got an adrenaline rush of anxiety just reading your post.

I have a 16 month old, who was ill for six(!) consecutive cycles of antibiotics, and it's stressful as hell. And yet it's presumptuous as hell for me to think I know yr situation or how to fix it.

If it were me, I'd look for her if it were practical, and if not make sure she knew as soon as possible that your primary concern in the world is her and the baby. I wouldn't get too corny, I'd try and address her concern as seriously as possible. I did the flowers thing once in a crisis and got a "look, thanks, but..." kind of response.

― Hunter (Hunter), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

It's not me, folks. I'm the one in our household that projects negativity, not the wife. And we are very happy together.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

Also, I generally don't log off when I petition ILX with my problems (what's the point of that?)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:28 (twenty years ago)

Ally way otm here.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, there are plenty of clues upthread that it wasn't you, Alex. (xpost)

Good luck, logged-out.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

Ally is completely OTM with her "Get off the internet" advice.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

Hope she's not an ILX regular too. "I see you were able to pass the time while I was out."

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:39 (twenty years ago)

Hey everybody! I've got this incredibly personal problem that involves the personal welfare of a loved one and/or myself. Can any of you weird internet strangers help me solve it?

― Just Acting Like I'm Logged Out (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:39 (twenty years ago)

Put some ham on it.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

Hey everybody! I've got a problem and don't know what to do! Can some of you people mock me for your own amusement?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:42 (twenty years ago)

i disagree with tracking her down. personal experience. sometimes women want to be left alone. she'll be back and you'll talk it out.

― kyle (akmonday), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:44 (twenty years ago)

Haikunym, I was mocking the original poster for others' amusement as well.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:55 (twenty years ago)

1) She'll be back. 2) Just let her be, but do apologize first. 3) When you apologize, no "buts..."!!! 4) Sleep on it. All will return to some state of normal.

She's obviously under a lot of stress from the baby, and from what I've experienced, yes, this stuff does affect moms more than dads. She sounds worried more than anything else, and frustrated. So give her time and space.

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

I'm with Kyle - I reckon she cracked and her first thought was "can't deal with this anymore... gotta get out of here... MUST be alone". I know thats probably how I'd react.

If that is it she will return. She'll return anyway probably, but if she just ran off in a panic without even her phone she just wanted to chill and think.

If she's had nothng but baby and illness and no time at all, especially if this is your first child, then hell! She will be a mess, and possibly even postpartum depresed? Calling her negative is a REALLY bad idea :/

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

It's slightly disconcerting that she stormed out when you guys have a baby.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:01 (twenty years ago)

If it's a couple that doesn't communicate too well (and it sounds like it may be), she just got to the end of her last nerve a little more dramatically than most.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

Well as I said, if she's very stressed and perhaps having postpartum depression, it could have been a very irrational hissyfit of running off.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

change the locks

― kyle (akmonday), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

OK, she's back. No talking to me though.

Yes, we normally do communicate well. No real problems, marriage-wise thus far. Thx for all the support, I appreciate it.

― LOGG ED O UT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

i'm sure her walkout was somehow ILX related.

-- cutty (holle...) (webmail), June 17th, 2005 7:56 PM. (mcutt) (later)

OTFM

― sunny successor (katharine), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:27 (twenty years ago)

I'm trying to remember whether my wife is Brittany Murphy or Danica McKellar

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

http://www.famous-people-search.com/brittany_murphy/brittany_murphy_pictures/brittany_murphy_004.jpg

― sunny successor (katharine), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:44 (twenty years ago)

http://www.stuffmagazine.com/girls/danica_mckellar/danica_McKellar_l6.jpg

I'd choose her if i were you

― kyle (akmonday), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:47 (twenty years ago)

Why do women always get forced into such *ridiculous* awkward poses for modelling? God.

Anyway.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

i like winnie's baggy stockings

― sunny successor (katharine), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:52 (twenty years ago)

She looks like her head grew up and the rest of her forgot to.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:59 (twenty years ago)

OTM, Trayce. Kevin never mentioned that in his voice-overs. I was in love with her, yeah; but she left for Europe, and I never saw her again. I don't feel so bad though: her head got really big.

― shanecavanaugh (shanecavanaugh), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

You know, if she's still pissed off and you're still posting to ILE About it, you probably should get mocked until you get pissed off and TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND TALK TO HER.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

no shit. no fucking shit. and i mean that with the utmost gravity. you fucking moron why are you on ILE, is it really more impt than the MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD???!!!!!

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

Nothing like "tough internet love".

― Earl Summerfield (Grodd), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

Well yeah, only without quite so much of the "love" part.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

(This, of course, is not going into the sneaking suspicion that nothing has actually happened and this entire situation was made up because why would you turn to strangers on the Internet for solace over watching over your sick child and apologizing to your wife?)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

I wish that wasn't true but experience proves something else entirely.

― Earl Summerfield (Grodd), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

Good lord! Your wife walked out and you come ask ILX if you should be worried. All I can say is not if she ran away with Tom Cruise because that boy is definitely as queer as a fixed poodle with a new haircut.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:54 (twenty years ago)

because why would you turn to strangers on the Internet for solace over watching over your sick child and apologizing to your wife?
im pretty sure 90% of regulars here would do the exact same thing.

― sunny successor (katharine), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:03 (twenty years ago)

Haikunym OTM. If I followed my girlfriend when she walked out or otherwise wanted to be alone in an effort to fix things RIGHT NOW, she would stab me.

― Jordan (Jordan), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:11 (twenty years ago)

Nothing goes together better than love and violence.

― Earl Summerfield (Grodd), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:12 (twenty years ago)

How about 'pithy' and 'retort'?

― estela (estela), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:14 (twenty years ago)

too many words.

― Earl Summerfield (Grodd), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:15 (twenty years ago)

orbit is kidding, right?

― sunny successor (katharine), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:29 (twenty years ago)

ilx is a good, neutral, community, who provides support and good advice, its like calling a a friend.

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:41 (twenty years ago)

Can any of you weird internet strangers help me solve it?

We're here when maybe others aren't. We may be on the internet, we're still human beings with experience. Better to ask advice to someone than nobody and freak out, right? I mean, does being on the internet suddenly make your advice superfluous and/or wrong? I think we're over that idea that intenet users are weirdos, right? Wel, some of us are but I like to believe that most aren't. ;-) I don't know, I wouldn't post to the internet, but if that's what someone needs, than let him/her ask. *sigh* He/she was in distress!

I don't think walking out is a sign that a divorce is inevitable. Some people just do that (instead of arguing) to be dramatic or because it lets them blow off steam. I can imagine having a baby can drain the energy right out of you (?). Maybe you need to make sure she has a day off once in a while, let her have some private time. Ah fuck it, just talk and ask her what she wants. :-)

― nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:45 (twenty years ago)

....posting while she's gone is OK (xpost anthony). However, when she's back?! Dude. Get in there! (which is probably why we haven't heard from logged out. Duh.)

The thing is, this is about our baby, maybe.

When I read this the first time, I interpreted the "maybe" part as a qualifier to the baby itself, not the argument. "Who's your daddy?!"

― giboyeux (skowly), Saturday, 18 June 2005 07:11 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes, talking to "complete strangers" (which is bullshit, if you think about it) over the Internet is as good a therapeutic move as any other available at the time. I don't get it when people get smart-arse comments like this. Why talk to a complete stranger like a counsellor or a shrink? Because sometimes that anonymous mirror is what we need to talk to ourselves properly.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Saturday, 18 June 2005 10:12 (twenty years ago)

Noodle OTM.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Saturday, 18 June 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

Noodle, there is a difference between talking to "complete strangers" on the internet and talking to friends using a "logged out" identity. Therefore it is natural for native ilxors to be concerned that "logged out" might be a member of their community.

I do think it is a poor idea to bring your problems to a board of complete strangers because there isn't the level of trust there that evolves naturally in communities. Of course I haven't been around ilx all that long but I've observed this bond in every online community.

Certainly if you're bringing personal problems to a board, you should not be bringing other family member's character into it. Furthemore, as people have said, maybe your wife just needs space and bringing your comments here isn't good for her or you reputation wise. This sounds like some religious intervention or something, I'm sorry to be an ass but the ethical sense here is really weird, all of this "I don't know what's wrong with my wife and she projects negativity and I wonder where she is" is not so innocent. Why don't you know your wife better, "logged out"? Perhaps that is the source of the problem. Your marriage sounds a bit conventional and conservative for ilx.

― bob n0pe (bobnope), Saturday, 18 June 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

I mean why are you even married if you don't understand your wife in the slightest? There's your problem.

― bob n0pe (bobnope), Saturday, 18 June 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

i am so fascinated with the phrase "projecting negativity". what does it mean, where does it come from, and what kind of people use it

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Saturday, 18 June 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

I told her she projected negativity and that was it. She said something about lawyers. What do I do?

The key word to your problems has been highlighted for your benefit.
Move on.

― House of Acid, Saturday, 18 June 2005 19:16 (twenty years ago)

Is it the hot weather? Me and my long term girlfriend had a big row today and its not looking good here either!

― another logged out, Saturday, 18 June 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

Sorry bob, I see that you're right now. If anybody posts a question on this board asking for advice, what they really need is a bunch of snarky moralistic bullshit telling them to go away and stop asking for advice.

"Other family member's character" : I must have missed the bit upthread where logged out listed names, addresses and credit card details.

Get One Humanity.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Saturday, 18 June 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, I've re-read your post bob and it's made me angrier still.

I mean why are you even married if you don't understand your wife in the slightest? There's your problem.

You fucking tool.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Saturday, 18 June 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

It must be the hot weather. I have had a huge row after finding out that my other half has been doing something he's not supposed to be doing for several months now without telling me. I found out through a third party. Normally I would be angry, but this time I feel like I am going completely crazy. I cannot get the craziness to stop.

― also anonymous, Saturday, 18 June 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

Taste the Blood of Scrovula OTM.

― AdrianB (AdrianB), Saturday, 18 June 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

Is she really in love with you?
This is some crazy shit to think about. I can't imagine. There's been nothing but love, really first time. The thing is, this is about our baby, maybe. Been sick, I told her that she is projecting negativity (always talking about him being sick, illness, what can go wrong, always telling what is theproblem) and I got fed up and told her she should be more positive. That's when she got mad. But I think it is on top of other shit, b/c she talked about leaving for good. We've had a rough couple of weeks in general, hospitals, too much work, etc.. Just not communicating well. I tried to get her to talk to me before she left.
Again, I have done you a favor by pointing out the root problem.

-- LOGG ED O UT (ps...), June 18th, 2005.

― House of Acid, Saturday, 18 June 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's what I mean, I don't think coming here is going to help him with his issues. I know that's heresy around here, where people can be soo sensitive about personal issues, but tant pis, honey.

― bob n0pe (bobnope), Saturday, 18 June 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

And I feel uncomfortable reading about the personal issues of complete strangers to boot. Here I thought that was normal, but whatever.

― bob n0pe (bobnope), Saturday, 18 June 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes if you have no one to talk to about the problems, the internet message board and advice from strangers can help.

― also anonymous, Saturday, 18 June 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Ugh, Bob you really are a tool. You feel uncomfortable reading about the personal issues of complete stranger, yet completely qualified to comment on the instability of a strangers marriage based on a lack of understanding?

Pompous. Twit.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha, time for the Drano shooters, bob.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's what I mean, I don't think coming here is going to help him with his issues

In my experience it's usually up to the person seeking advice to decide what is helpful and what isn't.

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

Rest assured that Bob certainly won't help...

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

it could be the humidity and barometric pressure, but my lady and i had a spat and then a clash and i'm afraid there's going to be a feud followed by a beef. how am i going to ever finish my negative project which is due next tuesday?

― notevenloggedout (eman), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

I'd substitute the beef for chicken...chicken's more your hot weather meat, IMHO.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

i certainly appreciate your helping with my hot meat

― notevenloggedout (eman), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

Always glad to help. Oh, and spats are so last season. A pair of gumboots
would do nicely.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

http://www.planetdave.com/images/articles/2/24/24_640contest4.jpg

Oh no! Another wife about to project negativity!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 19 June 2005 05:03 (twenty years ago)

I told him not to have the beef.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 19 June 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

bob nope and dan perry otm.

― charleston charge (chaki), Sunday, 19 June 2005 09:47 (twenty years ago)

Crying about a fucking wife leaving you? Rejoice, motherfucker! Bitches ain't worth a goddamn shitstain. Where's your dignity, man. Go out and pop a cork.

― ix tab, Sunday, 19 June 2005 10:14 (twenty years ago)

Your marriage sounds a bit conventional and conservative for ilx.

Although I think we've established Bob to be a twat, WTF is this meant to mean?

However, the fact you are struggling to see what's making her mad may be a factor in all of this. Now I know from being a wife that sometimes it's not easy to talk about stuff and you either (1) assume that your other half knows what's going on your head (this is never very likely), or (2) feel all wronged that he *doesn't* know what's going on in your head, therefore giving you the right to pull a "but you DON'T UNDERSTAND" and flounce out. What you need to do is let her come back (and she will), explain that you want to help but you can't until she tells you what is wrong, then do something about it.

Unless she's been telling you all along and you just haven't been listening. In which case grovel, then find out what you can do to make it better, then do it.

Your main priority is to realise that she thinks she's justified in walking out, don't argue with her about her reasons for now. She's stressed, she needs space, she thinks you aren't helping. Let her tell you that, then do something so it doesn't happen again.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 19 June 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

like the man said... another bus is only a few minutes away

― She-Goat of New Mexico, Sunday, 19 June 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

WIGGY, DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT A BAD IDEA IT IS TO DISOBEY TEENY?!?!

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

be nice! wiggy's learning how the board works!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

WIGGY, DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT A BAD IDEA IT IS FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO DISOBEY TEENY?!?!

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

Wiggy's learning but clearly she's SLOW...(sorry) and Rock, good heavens! I didn't mean to be disobedient to Teeny. I would NEVER be disobedient (might lead to spanking .)

I really did think in my pea sized brain that there were two different people logged on as "Logged Out". My head hurts from all this learning and I am going to lunch now. Thanks for all your help. Wiggy OUT. (for now...)see y'll after lunch

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

No probs Wiggy -- for the record, I'm interested to know how LOGG ED O UT's doing too.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

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