Do British girls like American guys as much as everyone says?

The other night Lady Sovereign was complaining about Americans who tell her she looks like Sporty Spice.

-- The Good Dr. Bill (fadeout9...), January 24th, 2005.

Unless you are Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity.

However, American boys won't leave you alone. I spent how many years in NYC being pestered because of my "accent"? (And most English people think I have an American one. Sigh.)

From The Times
December 11, 2007
American beauty?

Having observed females on both sides of the Atlantic, our correspondent claims British women are unkempt and lazy about grooming

In the iconic chick-flick Bridget Jones’s Diary, the title character is a sad, lonely, overweight, posh-sounding chain-smoker in her thirties with a drinking problem and no dating prospects. She then, one day, goes to the gym for an hour or two, spends £200 at Topshop, reads a self-help book and, lo and behold, she finds herself in the delightful position of having to decide between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth.

Women of Britain: Bridget Jones’s Diary is not a documentary. It’s a work of fiction, a fairytale. The fact is that control-top granny pants are simply not a substitute for regular exercise, thoughtful grooming and a healthy diet. Certainly not if you’re single and interested in men.

Although I am American, England has been my home since I was three years old. I now split my time between Los Angeles and London and regularly visit New York. There are many, many differences between the British and the Americans, but none more glaring than UK women’s approach to their own upkeep.

I am a massive fan of British women. UK girls, in my opinion, are the greatest natural beauties in the world . . . when they’re 17 or 18 years old. The girls I was surrounded by when I was a teenager were sublime roses with lustrous hair, flawless skin, bright eyes and lithe, athletic bodies. They dressed as if there would be a prize at the end of the night for the girl wearing the least. I then went away to Philadelphia for university. Four years later, I came back and wondered: “What the hell happened to all the beautiful girls I knew?” My first assumption was that one half of them had eaten the other half and washed them down with a crate of lager. These girls looked phenomenal when looking good took no effort. But when British women get to the age where they have to make an effort, they appear unable, or uninterested, in rising to the challenge.
Related Links

* I didn’t really have a problem with my face...but they did

I’m recently back from a two-month sojourn in Los Angeles and New York. Maybe I have come back with fresh eyes. Maybe I have grown accustomed to the effort American women put into their upkeep. Either way, you don’t exactly need callipers to figure out in which country the women look after themselves more.

An informal poll of my US female friends revealed that they spend roughly $700 (£350) a month on what they consider standard obligatory beauty maintenance. That covers haircut, highlights, manicure, pedicure, waxing, tanning, make-up, facials, teeth whitening etc. They will spend a further $1,000 (£500) a month on physical conditioning such as military fitness, spinning sessions, vikram yoga, Pilates, deep-tissue sports massage, personal training etc. On top of that, add the occasional spa day, a week-long “bikini boot camp” in Mexico at the start of every summer and seasonal splurges on personal shoppers and clothing. I’m not sure any of my British female friends spends £700 during an entire year on her appearance. American women see these costs as a simple and sensible investment in their future.

A perfect example of this was presented to me last week. I was set up with Sophie (I have changed the name) by married friends. Sophie was a truly beautiful girl I used to be friends with, but hadn’t seen in 15 years. I was surprised to hear that she was still single and was excited to meet her again. At dinner, I found myself sitting opposite something that surely would have been happier hunting for truffles in the forests of France or grazing on the grassy marshlands of Canada. My friend’s wife had told me that Sophie still had the body of a 20-year-old. Maybe she did . . . dismembered in her freezer at home. She certainly didn’t have it on her skeleton.

I’m not saying that I’m the greatest prize out there, but at least I’d put on a clean shirt, shaved and brushed my teeth. Sophie tumbled into the house looking like a refugee from Hurricane Katrina. She smelt like the R&D lab at Philip Morris. Her outfit was about as sexy as a half-pound of ground meat. And, surely, the only time she’d seen the inside of a gym was to ask directions to the nearest pub. I was hurt that my friends thought I’d be remotely interested in Sophie. Even more insulting was when my friend’s wife pointedly said: “Tad, I hear you just sold a screenplay to the producers of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” I could not believe it. She was selling ME to HER!? I sat there watching Sophie tuck into a second huge plate of shepherd’s pie and realised why no self-respecting American girl consumes carbohydrates after 2pm. I’m not surprised Sophie was having trouble finding a boyfriend. Regardless of whether she was interested in me or not, she was unwittingly sabotaging her own chances with any man.

It’s not entirely Sophie’s fault, I suppose. My friend’s wife didn’t manage my expectations. Maybe it would have been better if she had said: “Tad, you enjoyed The Lord of the Rings. Would you like to meet an orc?” Why is it the case (and I’m generalising here) that British women spend so little time and effort on looking after them-selves? Take, for example, Helena Bonham Carter, a spectacular example of the English rose. And yet she is regularly photographed looking like a bag of spanners. Can you imagine a similar photo of the American equivalent, say Michelle Pfeiffer? Absolutely not.

As with many societal ills, I blame the parents. British mothers do not instruct their daughters the way American mothers do. In the US, beauty treatments appear to be a large part of their growing-up experience. A trip to the beauty salon is a group event for girls, an opportunity for a gossip and a catchup. This continues into adulthood. As an experiment, I went for a manicure and pedicure in Chelsea. The place was packed (thankfully not with anyone I know), but was as quiet as a cathedral. The women sat silently ignoring each other with their noses buried in magazines. I tried to engage my neighbour in conversation. She totally blanked me. I even tried to engage my manicurist in conversation, but there too failed miserably . . . mainly, though, because my Cantonese is poor.

When I went to pay for my “mani-pedi”, I discovered another reason why British women do not have as many treatments as American women: the cost. Beauty treatments are vastly more expensive here. But there are alternatives. Go to SpaceNK for a make-up tutorial. They’re free. Make an appointment with a personal shopper at Harvey Nichols. Also free. Go to a manicurist, NOT in Chelsea. Hire a personal trainer, even if it’s once a week. Regardless of cost, change your hairstyle from the one you wore to your debutante ball. It is not an admission of defeat.

Another part of the problem is that women in Britain do not help each other. American women have no qualms about telling their friends, in no uncertain terms, when they look like crap, or have put on weight, or are dressed like a bag-lady. They talk of the top aestheticians with a reverence usually reserved for Nobel laureates and trade cosmetic surgeon business cards the way that boys in playgrounds trade football cards. In Britain, women are too polite to set their friends straight. I’ve been in a room with two English girls when one is preparing for a black-tie ball. She came out in her outfit and asked: “How do I look?” The other girl cocked her head sympathetically and said: “Adorable”. I thought, “Adorable . . . like a hooker.” I understand that she did not want to hurt the other girl’s feelings, but there’s such a thing as constructive criticism. Alternatively, the girl giving the advice actually did think her friend looked adorable and it was simply like one cannibal asking another if it’s wrong to eat human flesh. Ultimately, English women are like men doing DIY. No matter how lost they are, they refuse to call in professional help. It’s utterly irrational. A beautiful English ex-girl-friend of mine was, at the age of 29, as uncomfortable operating an eyelash curler as I’d be operating a crane. She approached beauty salons the way men approach buying porn – with darting glances and prayers of “Dear God, I hope no one sees me”. For some reason, being seen to make an effort with one’s appearance is regarded as shameful among British women.

There is one aspect of their appearance about which British women do obsess: their shoes. Great, I’m glad you have beautiful shoes that pain you in all types of exquisite ways (that men would never put up with). I’m sure other women will be incredibly impressed by your new Jimmy Choos or Blahniks. But, ladies, the only time a man will notice your shoes is if your feet are wedged on top of his shoulders bouncing either side of his head.

Conversely, getting most aspects right and one major one wrong is just as off-putting. I remember dancing with a really lovely English girl. She was gorgeous. Things were going well until I took her hand. I actually recoiled. Her palms were rough and leathery like a tree-climbing monkey’s. Years of working around horses had given her the hands of an 80-year-old Siberian coalminer. Surely some sort of moisturising routine would have been a simple and inexpensive remedy. (It was more shocking than the time I took a girl’s hand after chatting her up for an hour and discovered she was missing the two middle fingers on it.)

I don’t want you to think, though, that I believe American women have nothing to learn from British women. The irony is that, as obsessed as American women are with their looks, they totally ignore their social skills. Within 10 minutes of meeting an American woman, I guarantee you will know her salary and most recent medical/ dental procedure. They all but turn up with their CV printed out. In return, they will immediately want to know “all” about you, ie, how much you earn, how much you have earned in the past, what your future earning potential is, whether you own property, whether you have an investment portfolio, where you shop, where you “vacation”, what you drive and how large your parents’ house is. I once got to the end of a date in New York, pulled out my credit card to pay and the girl solemnly remarked: “A green American Express card? I didn’t know they still made them in that colour.”

American women also take themselves too seriously and are annoyingly confronta-tional. The good news for men, by the way, is they are convinced that the best way to prove they are equal to a man is by sleeping with him. Um . . . Go ahead, that’ll teach me. And they won’t even ruin your night’s sleep by staying over as their personal trainer is coming to their place at 6.30 the next morning.

American women are generally more grasping than British women socially and financially so I suppose that it makes sense that they are more striving aesthetically, too. Their obsession with their looks, however, can be unattractive and can even turn unpleasant. My American friends wouldn’t reveal, for example, their annual expenditure on botox, liposuction, Restylane, tummy tucks, boob jobs, collagen fillers, chemical peels, or any other procedures that involve scalpels, anaesthetics, lasers and needles.

When I asked if they dabbled in such areas, they just shook their wrinkle-free, tight-as-a-drum, shiny, expressionless faces. It’s not healthy to have one’s cosmetic surgeons on speed dial. (Then again, an English girl I recently and briefly went out with had four drug dealers on her speed dial, which is not especially healthy either.)

Nobody’s perfect. Certainly not the men who get to take out these women. British women are, without a doubt, the best to have a pint and a laugh with. They are the most self-reliant, uncomplicated and unflap-pable. That they are neither obsessed with their looks, nor insecurely competitive, are wonderful qualities. And their self-depreca-tion is incredibly endearing. But when it comes to making the all-important first impression, do you really want it to be, “I’ll bet she was really hot ten years ago”?

—The author is a screenwriter (single) who divides his time between London and Los Angeles

NOO, he's SINGLE? Pish posh.

http://www.chicagogigs.com/images/content/tom-leykis_tom-leykis__tickets_3633639.jpg

An informal poll of my US female friends revealed that they spend roughly $700 (£350) a month on what they consider standard obligatory beauty maintenance. That covers haircut, highlights, manicure, pedicure, waxing, tanning, make-up, facials, teeth whitening etc. They will spend a further $1,000 (£500) a month on physical conditioning such as military fitness, spinning sessions, vikram yoga, Pilates, deep-tissue sports massage, personal training etc.

this can't be serious. wtf

for all I know a bag of spanners is beautiful.

i assume that the figures hold true-ish for a certain income bracket. i've worked with women who spend over $1k/month on a posh gym and a personal trainer.

lol the times

A bag of spanners is sometimes exactly what you want. Very useful.

Last night, for instance, when we were trying to fix the oven. And since I keep my bike tools in an old tote, a bag of spanners is exactly what I had to offer.

OMG teeth whitening is a monthly thing, not a one-time deal?

I've spent a lot of time in both countries and it is definitely easier to hook up in the UK than in the US. If a UK girl wants a shag, she finds a shag. US girls worry too much about being thought of sluts.

US girls worry too much about being thought of sluts.

LOL, literally.

yeah but a certain income bracket that makes up .001% of "americans." seriously what paper would print this, where is the link to the article?

This is thx to the interstate "You Look Like A Whore, Dear" think tank.

xp

it's the times! they live in a fantasy world

this paper:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/beauty/article3029451.ece

"Tad" needs to change his name to Choad...

people are garbage

i sort of understand some of what he's saying - although i've arguably had insufficient exposure to American girls to appreciate his points fully - but the figures he's quoting are just fucking insane! i don't know a damn soul who has that sort of cash to splash on grooming.

i spent $70 on a haircut yesterday and felt really bad about it. but it was my first haircut in 6 months!

lol i am unkempt

fuck this douchetard for making me feel insecure even though i am NOT EVEN BRITISH

this made me lol in a "no way a man like this exists and was proud to write this and have it printed oh no of course human beings are disgusting and miserable" kind of way

unkempt is so hawt

according to dude's numbers, his female friends spend upward of $20,000 / annual on grooming and conditioning.

which is more than i made last year

and is total bullshit

unkempt is so hawt

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, December 13, 2007 2:21 PM (Thursday, December 13, 2007 2:21 PM) Bookmark Link

tom's got a thing for homeless chicks.

tom has already professed his craving for unwashed students going to lectures in their jim-jams

ok how do these chicks have enough time to do all this primping crap AND balance their careers making enough money to afford it?

unkempt is so hawt

this is very much otm

in my dim understanding of the upper upper middle class, doesn't all that shit happen during 'work' hours??

hes a screenwriter in LA. he probably knows a bunch of wealthy people with nothing better to do.

I've spent a lot of time in both countries and it is definitely easier to hook up in the UK than in the US. If a UK girl wants a shag, she finds a shag. US girls worry too much about being thought of sluts.

-- dally, Thursday, December 13, 2007 1:55 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i thought this was because the US has a culture of guy chases girl and england is more girl chases guy

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^no

the girl always decides, in both cases, but it's definitely more guy CHASES girl here

dogs chasing tails.

im not buying it

i thought this was because the US has a culture of guy chases girl and england is more girl chases guy

if only

i'm not gonna lie; i actually found that to be a little bit true.

i agree that there is a far higher chance of a relationship (or anything) if the girl is doing the chasing, and indeed you might well claim that most successful romances stem from female pursuit, but there's hella guy chasing girl going on here. mostly unrewarded.

it is true that on the few occasions i've ever struck lucky, it was the girl what did it.

there is a far higher chance of a relationship (or anything) if the girl is doing the chasing

this is true!

the author of this article should be fucked with hot pokers, christ what an asshole (ps women in the entertainment industry in NY and LA /= average American women)

"fucked with hot pokers" dude what is yr problem?????

the author of this article should be fucked with hot pokers

the "Edward II"

not hot enough

http://www.british-towns.net/english/kings/angevin/angevi6.jpg

You have been poked by Roger Mortimer
Poke back Remove poke

An informal poll of my US female friends revealed that they spend roughly $700 (£350) a month on what they consider standard obligatory beauty maintenance. That covers haircut, highlights, manicure, pedicure, waxing, tanning, make-up, facials, teeth whitening etc. They will spend a further I,000 (£500) a month on physical conditioning such as military fitness, spinning sessions, vikram yoga, Pilates, deep-tissue sports massage, personal training etc.

I don't think I spend that amount of money a year on myself. :-( But hey I'm Belgian...

Also, I knew knitting was sorta hip, but spinning? What next? Lace making?

spinning in this case is a group exercise class in which everyone rides on a stationary bike.

see, you really do learn something new every day.

what a great idea, though, combining spinning with spinning

Wait, also can I just say that even IF any of this is true, then thank the fucking lord? Because I've been watching the Dr Who with Billie Piper and I was unaware she was some kind of pop star already but it took me most of the first season to find her conventionally "pretty" enough to be cast for a major TV show. Because to my trained-by-American-TV eyes she looks short and broad and round-faced and wide-mouthed and all in all while I think she is FAB (and in fact hugely reassuring because I look much more like HER than like American "beauties"), I was sort of shocked that she was so REALISTIC.

Actually all the women on that show are sort of...not what you would expect on an American counterpart. I have thought that again and again re bit characters too.

except for hottie martha

ditto torchwood. captain jack looks so out of place with his american comic book face

spinning in this case is a group exercise class in which everyone rides on a stationary bike.

Uh, Laurel, I was kidding! :-)

But, ladies, the only time a man will notice your shoes is if your feet are wedged on top of his shoulders bouncing either side of his head.

What a charmer!

nath - for all i know, belgium is a spin-free country! i guess i learned something new today.

billie piper / rachel ray / natalie maines

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/1879/careymulligan01afd8.jpg

Americans, do you rate this girl?

Hey nathalie, I'm not Lauren!

xxpost No, even though you'd not think it, we are catching up. Though ever so slowly. :-)
Oops, typo! sorry!

She looks cute, Steve.

xp See, that's what I mean: I do not think American media rates that girl. I personally think she's probably adorable tho it's hard to tell from a still. But she's not American "beautiful", no.

Oh cripes, I thght I had typed Lauren when you said that. Went back and I didn't. Man oh man, I should be sleeping. Oh boy do I need a new brane. :-) I delivered it together with Elisabeth I phear.

fair dos. she actually IS totally adorable in the one Dr Who episode she appears in fyi.

Oh ffs, *shoots head* :-) I checked again. WTF. I am off to bed. :-(

Americans, do you rate this girl?

she's cute in a pixie-ish sorta way.

personally I'm not attracted to pixies tho

Beautiful? Hmmm, I don't know, but I rate 'beauty' far less than charm.

amen brother

kelly brook is often deemed one of the most beautiful british women. unfortunately she not a good actress.

good enough for billy zane yo

I've been in love with Brit girls since that Mike Leigh movie about the Cure fans, whatever it was called.

topsy-turvy

:)

I just GISed Kelly Brook and unless there's more than one, that's a much more American television style of beauty, I think.

Career Girls?

whoops - x-post to the movie question.

And yeah, Kelly Brook is def more American television style beauty but she is gorgeous.

yeah that's it, xp

Kelly MacDonald is v. v. cute

More than just beacuse of her South Yorks accent, I had a little crush on Liz White in 'Life on Mars'. She's 'fat' by American TV standards, perhaps, but charming in an endearing way and far more plausible to me than many of the starlets cast in the U.S.

http://www.flip18.co.uk/LWnet/galleries/screenshots/lom/2.5/images/_1200.jpg

I love Kelly MacDonald!!! But she is so so so so English-looking. Nigella-ish.

Kelly MacDonald is v. v. cute

Oh, yes, she is.

But she is so so so so English-looking.

Careful, there. MacDonald is hardly an English name.

I said "-looking". It's still a whole different gene pool than we have, given the generations.

and the Big Mac is hardly an english sandwich. xp

British-looking or Scottish-looking, okay, but English?

i like british chicks, american chicks, whoever

I have a huge crush on Kelly MacDonald - I think she's gorgeous and agree with Laurel - very British looking.

The best example of the whole British v. American beauty thing that I can think of is Kate Beckinsale. She's absolutely gorgeous but the transformation she's undergone since transitioning from Brit to US films is pretty startling. I miss her more natural looks!

Kelly MacDonald = Trainspotting/No Country for Old Men, right? Yeah she's, er, how you say "fit"

rite on max

welsh chicks are babes too

scottish, irish, german, dutch, iranian, indian, malaysian, colombian

I don't have a handle on the "Scottish" look, because I mean from my experience it mostly involves people over 55 who look like they could cling to a mountainside in modestly long skirts while spinning their own yarn and rolling their hair up in papers. My sample size is, how you say..."limited".

ENBB OTM! So cute in 'Cold Comfort Farm', etc., but then she came to Hollywood, got fake tits and the kind of training regimen that makes a woman look a little hard, got mediocre hairdos and the bloom was off the rose as it were.

personally I am a Hungarion-ophile

Yes, KB has become sort of horrifying since the Cold Comfort Farm days. And the emaciation is only beginning, don't think she's ever going to age gracefully NOW.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34198

kate beckinsale has basically completely rebuilt herself. startling is a good word for it.

was still hott through Laurel Canyon (plus Brokedown Palace!) - hard to really say since the movies I've seen of hers recently were, uh, Van Helsing and Underworld 1&2.

Hungarianophile arggh

x-post

not saying she's not hot, but she's had everything redone - tits, nose, teeth, hair, facial contours...

she's hideous (KB)
what's her name, the Pirates of the Caribbean girl, has Americanized a little more naturally, but still... eat something plz!

ooooh, Kate Winslet starring in an adaptation of Revolutionary Road!

oh, shit, it's directed by Sam Mendes. fuck fuck fuck

the world is so scary to me. i want to hole up in a bunker in montana and wait for the end times.

it's always the end times in montana (RIP river wolf)

?

Srsly, that cult that built a city underground is out there.

Kelly McDonald is a lovely. The voice is a huge plus.

Keira Knightley and, somewhat more unusually, Joely Richardson made it in the States so presumably qualify as beautiful enough. How about Anna Friel and Rachel Weisz?

Ashley Jensen has done pretty well to get on US TV but it's on the Gervais coat-tails loveable cute basis of course.

bwahaha

http://www.nndb.com/people/136/000050983/ltf.jpg

"freshen yer drink guvnor?"

http://www.tccandler.com/IMAGES/actresses/SiennaGuillory/Sienna%20Guillory%2007.jpg

"freshen yer drink guvnor?"

hahaha ^^^^ always the first thing to pop into my head at the mention of "British girls"

Knightly and Richardson are both skeletal and high-cheekboned, that's like the basis of all mainstream American standards.

this reminds me i really must watch that film starring Liz Hurley and Ice Cube

http://www.tccandler.com/IMAGES/actresses/RosamundPike/Rosamund%20Pike%20HQ%20Sleek%206.jpg

almost posted Rose Byrne, turns out she's an Aussie.

eh, close enough

Ooh I do like the hair-do on that one, Michael.

Michael's pic looks like heidi from the hills but with bigger teeth

I had no idea it was going to be so friggin' huge. Sorry.

Rosamund Pike was smoking in Die Another Day, like a young Dr Quinn

obligatory:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40081000/jpg/_40081368_gal_girls.jpg

yuck

Who they?

the ginge makes more of an effort these days

what was once a semi-intelligent discussion about the issues raised by that times article has now become "post pics of hot english chicks".

OH NOES.

xpost the ginge is still my fave.

Girls Aloud are the most Americanised women in UK pop music.

semi-intelligent discussion about the issues raised by that times article

does not compute

huge huge sally sparrow crush over here. i just watched that episode last night!

it struck me that she's the english katie holmes.

Ah! I know the name and little else, Steve.

charlie we can post hot british guys too if it makes you feel better.

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/28/00/22570028.jpg

it struck me that she's the english katie holmes.

pretty good call. but who can be our Pacey?

you're right, he's obviously boiling!

http://www.jmcolberg.com/weblog/archives/MES50.jpg

Ooh I love Girls Aloud but I don't know what they look like.

see upthread

back on topic a bit, it bears repeating that because i hang out with a lot of indie dudes i know lots of brit guys with american girls but no vice versa

No sorry I mean I didn't know what they looked like.

Rachel Weisz is Hungarian, btw

Austro-Hungarian to be precise. she has the most English voice ever tho.

Her parents maybe, but she was born and raised in England.

shes also jewish

lots of Jews from Hungary

she is not hungarian

lots of Jews from Hungary

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, December 13, 2007 10:42 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yeah, not so much now.

crut1s: i loled

because of the lolocaust xp

i know right

http://www.kornea.com/kimages/agutter.jpg

I really wanted to post some stills from Walkabout but didn't want to make this a nsfw thread

http://www.musarium.com/stories/reagan/images/large/w-thatcher.jpg

Do girls like guys as much as everyone says?

they're ok i guess

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/beauty/article3056296.ece

lol @ americans criticising anyone for being obese

he's english.

ha!

"Although I am American, England has been my home since I was three years old."

^^^ this

I thought he was an American living in England, no? oops - xpost.

= English like Bill twatting Bryson.

ah, ok. i didn't give it a close read.

It's a moot point to be fair.

(and i assumed from the previous article that he was a brit living mostly in the us.)

in any case, though, aside from all of the other nonsense it's definitely bizarre to be holding the us up as a positive example as far as obesity is concerned.

I think he's thinking of middle class women tho where the point might be truer, tho equally fatheaded and misogynistic.

Eh. Do we have more extreme camps in the US, or is it just our media that makes them seem so? We have the people in the first article with their thousands-of-dollar budgets (apparently) for beauty treatments and self-perfection (because, right), and then we have the obese and the in-poor-taste and a host of offenses on the other end. Maybe.