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Let's talk about ill-fitting bathing suits

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I have these one-piece suits from the thrift shop because I refuse to pay big bucks for an item of clothing that's going to demoralise me, like a brand new suit with straps that cut into my flesh and make me look like a trussed pot roast. But these thrift-shop suits have foam-rubber bra inserts that make me look like I've got a piece of farm machinery under there. I have to keep readjusting the foam. Most of the time we go to the clothing-optional end of the beach, but sometimes the suit is called for. Anyone else have bathing-suit woes?

― Beth Parker, Friday, 5 August 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I thought it said "bathroom suites". I am obsessed.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

Can you take out the foam?

My usual gripe is that swim suits are either a) so high-leg that your breasts are in danger of poking through the bloody leg holes or b) those low-leg shorts-style ones that inevitably lead to a horrific camel toe effect.

I do have a nice demure two-piece currently though.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

b) those low-leg shorts-style ones that inevitably lead to a horrific camel toe effect.

That made me laugh out loud! Sorry!

― Panther Pink (Pinkpanther), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

My trunks fell apart whilst I was in the pool a few weeks back, people got to see more of my ass than I would generally wish. I choose to believe that they were shredded by the sheer pace of my Thorpedoesque freestyle rather than the combined forces of chlorine exposure and shoddy materials.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

http://tinypic.com/9zx6iq.jpg

― nathalie sans denouement (stevie nixed), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

Somehow I knew this was a Beth Parker thread. All hail Beth Parker! Lurk no more. Once you start your own thread, you're hooked! A welcome addition to ILE.

As for bathing suits, now that I've got a double post-partum body in addition to a beer belly, I feel like a stuffed sausage in bathing suits. I've started swimming in Scott's boxer shorts and tank tops. Now I'm one of THEM.

And I think I know which suit you bought at the thrift shop. I fingered the foam the other day while browsing there. I hope that doesn't make you feel funny about wearing it.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

Thank you! You can finger my foam anyday!
The high-leg suits, which are now showing up in a thrift shop near you, make you look like you're wearing a medical truss. A last-ditch uterine prolapse remedy. And if you've had enough kids, the stretch-marks on your sides are very nicely displayed. Sunblock only accentuates the glorius ripple effect.
Now I really should get to work. I just thought I'd drop this question like a little bomblet before I walked out the door so that I'll be sure to have lots of good reading when I return. I toil in the earth rather than the office, so am internet deprived while employed (but no more productive—the time-wasting ratio is the same in all jobs). See all you guys later!

― Beth Parker, Friday, 5 August 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

my swimming shorts come down to my knees but my cock still hangs out the leg.

― someone_else (g-kit), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

Eek, I just got a very strong visual memory of Vic, my old rowing teacher, who wore VERY tight cycling shorts and when he was coxing for us [such a horribly apt word] his balls and/or cock would get squished out of one side of the shorts. And because I rowed at the front, I was forced to look directly at them, my face mere inches away. A treat.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

I have some x-rated swimming trunks at home - I don't think *anyone* has ever seen me wear them. Which is a shame as they were like 62 Euros or something.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

xpost
what does a one-legged pet rooster have to do with your bathing attire?

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

And because I rowed at the front, I was forced to look directly at them, my face mere inches away. A treat.

You rowed stroke that close to tighly wedged cock and balls.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

Archel, you are making me laugh loads today!!

― Panther Pink (Pinkpanther), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

I have these one-piece suits from the thrift shop because I refuse to pay big bucks for an item of clothing that's going to demoralise me, like a brand new suit with straps that cut into my flesh and make me look like a trussed pot roast.

a one-piece suit??? oh wait, these are lady suits. I was imagining a jump suit tailored to look like a jacket and pair of trousers.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

I did not want to use the word 'stroke' thank you Ed... or are you querying my rowing topography? It was a long time ago...

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

I rowed for my schools as well, I know all the secret code words.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

I am intrigued by the Beth Parkerness, as Maria praises her so highly. So hi there!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

IT's a sport full of erotic symbolism (My school's first team rowed in tight fitting pink all in one lycra suits)

― Ed (dali), Friday, 5 August 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Arrgh. Neither terminology nor boat layout are very clear in my mind any more... just Vic's [or was he called Stan?] cock n balls.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

I'm doing my best to ignore this entire train of thought.

― Alec Tea-Skirt (kate), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

the surfs not that rough here but still its australia and i have a pair of boardies and fuck i hate wearing the ol' dickstickers under the boardies (constaint!) and i am constantly worried that when i go under a wave the boardies might go down and wrap around me kness and i might drown right there...dick and balls and fear of constraint exposed.

― bull bum gerry (bulbs), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

this needs to become a hilarious picture thread.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

http://www.chrisparryphotography.com/MR2005/BigImageS.asp?PhotoID=MR05_2_0564.jpg

― Ed (dali), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

my school's rowing team btw

― Ed (dali), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

IF THERE ANY PARTS OF THESE PHOTO'S THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ENLARGING
PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WILL DO AS REQUESTED FOR NO EXTRA CHARGE.

!!!! Bwahahaha.

Get thee behind me Stan/Vic.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

I am still baffled noone has *ewed* at my Sean Austin in pink speedo picture. BOO YOU LOT!

― nathalie sans denouement (stevie nixed), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

Astin, actually. I think we all assumed it was Hasselhoff and therefore weren't surprised.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

ewwww, nasty hobbitses.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

was the word "bathing" always in the thread title?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Oh my!!!

::fans self::

Any more of those photos floating around, Ed? ha-HEM. Purely for, uh, research reasons.

― Alec Tea-Skirt (kate), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Haha I was going to say 'god is that Sean Astin?' and then I thought 'no it is clearly too horrible' and then 'so it is probably another famous person, who I don't know, so should not say anything in case I look a fool'.

In retrospect then: EWWWWW.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

I'm still depressed that "Let's Talk About Ill-Fitting Bathing Suits," Salt-n-Pepa's follow-up to "Let's Talk About Sex," failed to make the US charts (number 32 in the UK though!).

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

I am still baffled noone has *ewed* at my Sean Austin in pink speedo picture. BOO YOU LOT!

OMG, i totally didn't realise that was him, I just thought it was some random google image!! haha! Sorry, boo all of us!

― Panther Pink (Pinkpanther), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

I have two pool parties this weekend! I gotta be all pregnant and half-naked in front of people, yikes. And no way I'm wasting money on a maternity bathing suit so I'll be squeezing into an old two-piece; I hope there are no tragic results.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

kate, google my old school rowing club

― Ed (dali), Friday, 5 August 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

Ah. Back from work. Hello to you too, Ned Raggett!
I remember one of my bygone ill-fitting bathing suits. My mother sewed me a bikini when I was pregnant, and as my hindquarters spread I found the bottom half harder and harder to pull on. She had to keep adding gussetts—triangular inserts, for the tailoring-challenged. I don't know what ever became of that bathing suit. Probably slipped off in a rough wave after the weight dropped. Then I got a GOLD bikini!!! It never fit right. Didn't wear it once.
So teeny, get your mom to sew in a gussett!

― Beth Parker, Friday, 5 August 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Heh that Sean Austin (whoever he is) pic makes me think of Zapp Brannigan! =)

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 6 August 2005 07:35 (twenty years ago)

He was in Lords of The Pink Speedos Rings.

― nathalie sans denouement (stevie nixed), Saturday, 6 August 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

when i ws a kid my mum got me this brown wool pair of bathers for me that i absolutely hated! they were itchy and once they got wet they'd sag badly and i ws in a constant state of discomfort and fear of exposure. next i had this triangle bikini with the american flag on it, and wd get horribly embarrassed when the triangles dislodged themselves from the nipple area (obv there ws 0 breast to speak of) during swimming/general beach action. this has happened in yrs since i actually did have breasts to expose out of errant bikini triangles but ws somehow way more shrug offable, never as traumatic that flat 9 yr old chest seeing the sunshine!

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Sunday, 7 August 2005 10:12 (twenty years ago)

I saw some swimsuits in a store today so I fingered the foam in honour of this thread. It made me laugh all over again.

― estela (estela), Sunday, 7 August 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

OOOOh- this is a juicy thread!
Because I am rather overly blessed on the top and the bottom - or,er, chubby - I have a bathing suit with cups AND a skirt. It's cute, but I never wear it.It makes me feel like an old lady.
I have the bottom half of a "tankini" that I wear with a tank top. Swimming involves removing my "over the shoulder boulder holder" (bra), walking to the water with my arms crossed below my boobs, and then plunging into the water where, thankfully, the water becomes the bra.
I'm really, really good at removing bras without taking off my shirt.
It's a special skill - maybe I could teach a class or something. Well endowed young women and hapless boys would all be tutored in the mysteries of subtle bra removal!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 7 August 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

I just want Beth to know that I KILL THREADS ON CONTACT!!!!
Did you see "Me, you and everyone we know?"
Back and forth - forever.
))((

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 8 August 2005 01:47 (twenty years ago)

Ha! But you haven't killed this one! I fetched it back from the thread dungeon!
Here's another story about bathing suits that come off in the water—
When I was a young art student in DC one of my teachers—Bill Newman— had gotten permission to put up a mural on the plywood barrier around a construction site. He painted a nude of his girlfriend (a student—in art school, sleeping with your students is actually encouraged). He then painted a bikini on her, in WATER-SOLUBLE poster paint. When it rained, off it came. The construction company was pissed and we all had to go scrub the remains of the water-soluble suit off so that Bill could paint a permanent one.
That was in 1975, pre-video, but I think somebody might have had a super-eight camera. Yes, ladies and gentlemen of ILE, I am 49!!!! Which age, I recently discovered, has the following benefit: You can shush rude jerks who are talking loudly while musicians are playing and instead of throwing their beer at you, they look abashed and leave the club!!!! Then you get their seat!!!(this was in your old place of employment, Alison). They also might have fled if I'd appeared in MY BATHING COSTUME!!!!! How would they know that the lumpy thing under the suit was not ill-fitting foam but A MACHINE GUN!!!!

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Was that, perhaps, the Michael Hurley show?

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

THIS THREAD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS OK THX BYE

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Who wears a suit in the bath, anyway?

http://www.well.com/~demarini/bathtub.gif

― Bathing Suitor, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 23:35 (twenty years ago)

http://www.epicharmus.com/sexonacracker.jpg

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 23:59 (twenty years ago)

MY EYES ARE WORTHLESS BECAUSE OF THAT PIC, K THX BYE

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.suspense-movies.com/stars/carole-landis/photos/Landis26.jpg
The antidote

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 01:40 (twenty years ago)

oh, shoot. I guess the image is too big. When I Google image searched "ill-fitting bathing suit" I didn't get any hits, but when I tried just ill-fitting, I found a picture from menwholooklikekennyrogers.com Unfortunately, the site seems to be defunct.

(I am a thread derailer.)

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

Awww, don't be so self-deprecating.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

I'll just make do with the picture in my mind's eye for that Kenny Rogers one, though I LOVE the guy hiking up his ill-fitting bikini. He's my new hero!
Yesterday we were so late for a wedding—we missed the actual ceremony—and when we arrived for the clambake on the beach the bride and bridesmaids were frolicking in the surf in their long gowns, which were not ill-fitting at all. It was a wet wedding-dress contest.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 11 August 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

"Grape fruit. Bathing suit. Chew a little juicy fruit."
The wisdom of Jimmy Buffet is really incomparable.
I think I'm going to wear a little thingy on my wrist -WWJBD?
Oh, good gracious, it IS time to have a margarita!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Thursday, 11 August 2005 23:59 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Horrendous disrespect for opener Milo Jones, who is an amazing performer. I was so pissed off by the reverence these same run-at-the-mouth idiots displayed once Michael Hurley came on (not his fault, of course) that I had to take a walk around the block. I don't know what the solution is. I've been to shows where the performer tried to shush people, and that just creates a bad atmosphere. And people keep talking. It's weird. These people all paid a cover charge to be in there! This has nothing to do with bathing suits. It's all about ill-fitting music club behavior.

― Beth Parker, Friday, 12 August 2005 00:41 (twenty years ago)

Oops, there was supposed to be an excerpt-in-italics there. I was responding to Alison's question about a million posts ago. I followed instructions, but failed. Sorry for the inscrutability.

― Beth Parker, Friday, 12 August 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

italicize! (testing) (Maria here but I can't be arsed to log out and back in as myself)

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 12 August 2005 01:12 (twenty years ago)

We should just keep the ill-fitting thread going between ourselves as our own private club, the way the "This is the Thread ... pt. 36" people and the "sheepfuxors" people do. (Maria)

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 12 August 2005 01:14 (twenty years ago)

I am a proud member of the "can't be arsed to ill suit a bathing costume club".
Did you know Paul and Jill's boat sank?

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 12 August 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

[gratuitous porn deleted]

― pill box, Friday, 12 August 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

Moderator please. This just makes me feel unhappy.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 12 August 2005 02:17 (twenty years ago)

gratuitous porn deleted

Oh that's too bad. But I will take the opportunity to test my italicized-excerpt-pasting skills.

― Beth Parker, Friday, 12 August 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

Yay italics!

I actually hanker after the days when this sort of thing was a daring bathing ensemble:
http://www.fashion-era.com/images/SocialHistory/swimpad500.jpg

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 12 August 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

OK, I'm sorry but it has to be said. Thrift store = second hand, right? Second hand swimsuits? EEEEWWWW!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 12 August 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

Thank you thank you!!!! Oh! I am so excited! Now I will be truly in the swim.
I used to swim in an ensemble somewhat like those. I'd buy one of those long jog-bras that covers you down to your waist and wear bike-shorts on the bottom, so the two meet in the middle. If they're both black it looks like an old-style men's suit, or a weight-lifter's suit. It was my default motel-pool suit when I forgot to pack one, because you can always find the components, whereas a bonafide bathing suit can be elusive. At least one that doesn't make you cry when you try it on (this has happened to me).
I have to go to work now. I hate to say goodbye, just when everyone else is getting to work and logging on! Well actually, most people in my time zone have already been at work for an hour. Perhaps because my mother's from Cleveland and my father was from California— it always seems earlier than it really is to me. I inherited a different time zone.
I'm self-employed!!! Maybe I'll just GO TO THE BEACH!!!!!

― Beth Parker, Friday, 12 August 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

Second hand swimsuits? EEEEWWWW!
My son always says "have fun wearing clothes from dead people."
One of the bathing suits I bought actually still had sand in the crotch, caught between the lining and the suit. I discovered this after I'd been wearing it all afternoon. It was darker sand than the beach had, that's how I knew. I didn't care! I'm not afraid of some dead lady's crotch-sand!
Now I REALLY have to go.

― Beth Parker, Friday, 12 August 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

I think buying shoes from a thrift shop is grosser, because most shoes don't go in the washer, yet I have worn second-hand (-foot?) shoes. Before I buy a bathing suit, though, I do check the crotch (and finger the foam).

I perfectly understand why someone would not want a second-hand bathing suit. But what about those people who don't want their bottoms touching public toilet seats and end up peeing on the seat so those of use who don't perch get pee on us? Ooh, that makes me mad.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 12 August 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

"dead lady's crotch-sand!"

Best name for a breakfast cereal, ever.

― JTS, Friday, 12 August 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

Second hand shoes are weird because they tend to only fit the original owner. Plus, as one ages (As, alas, we all do) comfortable shoes become very important.
But if the shoes are really cool- well, you'll do a cinderella/ugly stepsister thing.
"it fits! I SWEAR IT FITS!"

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 13 August 2005 02:40 (twenty years ago)

Beth, I have called you to the "language of flowers" thread. In your dead lady crotch sand ill fitting bathing suit, preferably.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 13 August 2005 10:18 (twenty years ago)

Gosh, I think I'm the only person posting right now! That's ok,it's kind of nice to have a quiet morning to post on every single thread, except the one about cricket.
This is my first actual weekend all summer! I have been working six days/week since, um...January.I don't know what to do - maybe go shopping later on? Put the canoe into a body of water? Leave my oppressive apartment?
water the plants? Do the dishes? Do laundry? You see, the possibilities are endless.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 13 August 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

No no! I'm here! I'm also on the phone to Maria, coordinating a trip to the Edg. Library book sale. I'm going to get a big pile 'o books and go back to bed. Fie on this August humidity and overscheduling.
Water the plants, forget the rest. The dirty dishes will just improve over time, like fine wine or crotchsand.

― Beth Parker, Saturday, 13 August 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

Thanks for the advice! When a person living on an island says she's going back to bed-well, that convinces me to cancel any elaborate plans I might have had re: outdoor, water based entertainment.
I have been out-twice. I am a Freecycler-so I picked up a "cat napper" which is a kitty day bed that you attach to a window. I had a nice chat with the neighbors when I returned.
I went out again for coffee (iced tea, really), and discovered that lots of people are wandering aimlessly about, trying to ignore their household chores, just like me!
The Freecycling pick up was rather intense- Two lovely young boys came to the door (three years old, probably - twins) and as I thanked them for the cat napper, their dad appeared. I thanked him as well. He said they were moving to Northampton.(The next town over - more pricey than Easthampton) i said "Hope that's for a good reason!" He said (in front of the charming boys) "Nope, we're getting a divorce. My wife emailed you about the stuff to give away."
We then fell into a strange conversation, mostly about the twins, me clutching the (boxed) cat-napper and trying to get the charming boys to not play too close to the busy street- as I backed away towards my car.
I think my reply to "We're getting divorced." was "Well! The boys seem to doing well!"as the boys clustered around my legs and charmingly asked if i was interested in seeing their "secret round things". Which turned out to be small bouncy balls, not marbles.
The three of them cheerily waved goodbye as I left - beeping the horn and waving goodbye myself!
I kind of miss them.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 13 August 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

the very large peace lily is sitting in a bucket of water. everything else just needed a little water - the moody ficus is doing rather well, and is producing lots of leaves! Oh, but, my lavender(a potted lavender that Kevin rescued fom Whole Foods)has decided to disengage....so I had a long conversation with it.
I'm on the wrong thread. or maybe not.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 14 August 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

Lavender in a pot is doomed. Put it out of its misery. It'll only get uglier. It wants to be in the ground.
Donald has gone to the beach without me, because I had to finish laying out a bad dog cartoon for the upcoming issue, which has been gestating a mighty long time but is now in the home stretch, to mix metaphors.
We had a bad dog that used to lift his leg on people's beach towels while they were swimming. I totally forgot to mention that in the magazine. Oh well.
I did go back to bed yesterday, not because the beach isn't a good place to be, but because I am Lyme-ridden, the natural byproduct of my landscaping job. This is the worst tick year ever, and when I'm wearing my ill-fitting bathing suit everyone can see that I'm covered with welts! How exciting for them!

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 14 August 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

Europeans own this thread.

― shookout (shookout), Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

Americans rent it

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

BTW, Lauri sent me a card that the theme of *her* next zine is dogs. She's trying to scoop you, Beth!

We were at an Allen Farm shindig yesterday, Alison, and I thought of how you always wanted me to write about them for the paper. I thought the party would be at the actual farm, but it was in the field where sheep usually are. It was kind of excruciating out on the dry, poopy grass with a gorgeous view of water but no relief from it.

Oop, kids are up from naps...

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

There are enough dogs for everyone!

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

Scott's got the kids.

What's a Freecycler? Like a dumpster diver but on a bike? (None of this has anything to do with swimwear).

To add something sort of apropos, I still use the disgusting expression "in there like swimwear."

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

I think freecycling is getting the stuff people leave out on the sidewalk. Maybe I'm wrong. Alison must be napping. She must be freecycling the nap your kids threw away.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

Revive!
Freecylcing is an internet group - based on each community - where you post things you no longer want, or things you want...Offered, Wanted...and then received. it's international, and there's one on MV.
I think it's for people who can't be arsed to have yard sales...and those who love yard sales, but free stuff too.
We have mostly received stuff so far, and we get four updates a day about the freecycle list.
I can't be arsed to talk about it anymore.
I did freecycle the kids naps!
I'm busy this week-but still I say Revive!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

I'm always afraid, in cases like that, that I will drive to the next town to look at some sofa and find it disgusting but feel awkward about hurting the offerer's feelings. I'd end up taking it to be polite. So I guess I'd have to be precise in your requirements.
I want a free 80 inch plasma-brain television.
Suddenly it's not beach weather. I need one of those brown wool bathing suits.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 01:20 (twenty years ago)

Let's talk about ill-fitting snow suits!

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

http://www.algonquinecolodge.com/images/photos/polar%20bear1.jpg

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 01:38 (twenty years ago)

Yikes! I used to have some really ill-fitting snowsuits as a kid. Youngest-of-nine syndrome, I guess. None of them kept out the cold, and as a result I am less than enthusiastic about winter sports. So no ice-hole-snorkling. Hey, when are Lost and Alias starting up again? You're gonna have to get a new TV, girl! That one I told you about got left out in the thunderstorm the other night.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 01:55 (twenty years ago)

Our TV was just on temporary strike, I guess. It's been working fine the past couple of days. Maybe it just needed a break. I can't get into Alias anymore - is her sister secretly her mother who is secretly her lover who is secretly with the special CIA that is secretly not the CIA? It got too clusterfucky for me.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

No! Her HUSBAND is secretly her sister! That's why they're not going to be able to have a baby and they'll have to go back to the original RAMBALDI breeding project!!!!
We can work this thing back around to bathing suits, I know we can. Especially now that we've thrown Jennifer Garner into the mix. I know she's pregnant, but we could justadd a gussett.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 02:07 (twenty years ago)

a Google image search for "Garner bathing" yields:

http://www.garnermedical.co.uk/pictures/Dipperlarge.jpg

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 02:11 (twenty years ago)

More like it:
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:03nyOuCrajUJ:neuromancerwp.free.fr/Jennifer%2520Garner%252003.png

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

Before and After the Rambaldi Breeding Project

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 02:19 (twenty years ago)

On my freeycle network there were several used tvs advertised for the taking.
And, Beth, I have had my used futon rejected twice.Each time, it hurts a little bit less.
It's hard to have someone judge your belongings.
I tend to get too emotionally involved with the whole thing, anyway. I am capable of crying after a yard sale ...if it's all childrens stuff and the yelling is too loud in/around the house.
And the daughter's name is Tiffani, and her Barbies are for sale, and her ballet box emblazoned with her name, so you know who she is when her mom screams'Shut up and go into the back yard, Tiffani! Now!"
And then I buy something because I feel guilty.
Usually something vaguely useful.
Like an unused picture frame.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

Oh geez! Let's get back to the other other point! I'm days behind, loveys!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 02:27 (twenty years ago)

I bought a globe from a little boy for five bucks the other week. I found that a little odd. Why would a kid not want a globe?
Possibly that's all you need to know about Vineyarders. As children, they sell their globes.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 03:17 (twenty years ago)

I had a dream- a dream that I owned some property. At first it was a big house, and then it became a huge thing, like an amusement park, but deteriorated,that I had bought and owned. Bowling alleys that didn't work, a hot tub that didn't work...it was a very weird dream. I kept on going through doors to see things that didn't work, like an old shooting gallery, and...
At the same time, in my dream, I was walking around with friends, saying "it's a classic piece of property - look at the acreage! We have to make it work!"
The best part about the dream is this - I knew that some doors were open to exploration, but some doors should not be tried.
I saw the doors of the "Swinging Lounge", and, depite any warnings, went through, and was chased by a family of "swingers" who hadn't seen anyone since the place was sold. Zombie swingers. I ran out and was told by someone- why can't you trust us when we tell you not to do something? I told you not to go through that door!"
The zombie swingers were classic - a mom, a dad and a daughter all trying to seduce me into a swinger thing with another family that they kept pointing at, that I couldn't see. And when I decided to run they chased me!
I do have standards, even in dreams. I don't swing!
I continued to tour my property/deteriorated amusement park.There were so many things to see. Then i decided i had made a good investment Then I woke up.
Analyze at will.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

You were fingering the foam of your subconscious.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 04:07 (twenty years ago)

It sounds like there's more than enough acreage to build a nice pen for the swingers. You could operate a subconscious swinger petting zoo.
I have lots of things that don't work. When Tucker worked at the dump I learned to garden with dead televisions. I never got a bathing suit from the dump. I did once get underwear from the thrift shop. Silk boxer shorts. I washed them.
Donald's mom once brought him food from the dump. Boxes of macaroni and cheese, I think.
Once year I got a case of ancient vodka from the dump. The labels were all peeling, but the vodka was still good.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

Shout out from a fellow Freecycler over the water!

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

If we had a FAP at the West Tisbury Dump recycling shed could our across-the-water thrifty brethren get Freecycled airline tickets?

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

That's a really wordy way to say Dumptique.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

That's true. But I never could use the term "dumptique." I don't know why. Because I'm such a serious person?

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

yeah right, you're really serious!

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm so serious that right now I'm going to go out and function in the physical universe, i.e. deplete savings to pay Nigel's fall semester tuition and then take my mom to the cardiologist. I am a member of the SANDWICHED generation.
See you later!

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

Be careful out there.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

Hah! I'm back! I have a little bit of time, a little ilx pocket, between account-depletion and cardiologist. I didn't even try to work today because the appointment was smack in the middle of the day and at the other end of the island from my jobs.
I gotta scarf down a burrito now.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

there is a thread for burrito eating, you know. let's keep things in order.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

Scott is the hall monitor.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

My burritos kick all those other burritos butts. Those other burritos are my burritos' BITCHES.
This bitch is going to the beach. Nekkitt.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 18 August 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

I never made it to the beach. I turned back. It was too cloudy and besides, somebody might have responded to one of my brilliant postings. I had to check. Oh well.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

That's okay. I'm fine hanging out by myself.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

And it keeps my thread AT THE TOP OF THE PILE!!!!!!!

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Beth. I'm so sorry! I had to work 40 plus hours this week, etc.I didn't mean to leave you hear, babbling and talking to yourself.
It's Friday, and I just ate surf and turf! At the Opa-Opa Steakhouse! Where the hostesses wear a mondern sort of corset! And the waitresses wear kerchiefs!Whores and cowgirls and dead cows and lobster tails! Opa Opa!
It's been a tough week in the world of reproductive health care. Way too many customers, not enough staff. It can be very much like resataurant work at times.
However-I learned from a co-worker that hormonal contraceptives, in pill form, are EXCELLENT for house plants. Er, stimulates growth, not stops them from the effects of unprotected intercourse. So I brought home some "samples" that a drug company guy left off today, and I'm going to dose the moody ficus. I will let you know the results.
(Last words written by aimurchie before moody ficus entered a hormonal rage and ....)

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 19 August 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

I finally got a bathing suit. I'm feeling that pressure that I must enjoy the summer before it ends, and get in the water a few more times. I overheard someone the other day saying "I really should be at the beach" in a tone of voice suggesting that we should all feel really guilty for doing anything besides laying about on the sand. We live here why? Because of the ocean. So we best take advantage of it. Otherwise it's wasted ocean or something. There are starving kids in Africa without any ocean, and here we are, and we're not even spending every free minute on the beach. Tsk, tsk.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Saturday, 20 August 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

I have been enjoying conversations with a coworker who, like me, enjoys cooler weather, as we anticipate hot baths again.
With the windows open.
I agree, I don't want anyone to dictate what I should or should not do when it's hot. If I want to sit around and deal with it- that's my right, as a hottie!
The pressure is here, as well, Maria. And it's a remote pond! (for swimming). Otherwise there is the tubing/canoing/kayaking/hiking pressure - what did YOU do this weekend?
(Went to the bargain matinee at the multiplex in the morning and then...walked quickly to the car! Sorry!!)
I don't think that behavior should be dictated by some overwhelming swimming/beach/sun morality.
Are we Aztecs? No. Mayans? No. We are of Northern European descent, and we do not worship the sun as our god!


― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 20 August 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

I eagerly anticipate bemoaning how COLD it is, right here on this thread, in a few months time.
I have to go to the University of Massachusetts and attend an orientation this morning. I received $18,000.00 in financial aid!!! 2/3 of which is grants!!
That's kind of scary, considering that I am still paying back OTHER student loans, and a years worth of classes should only be about $10,000.00. I am fingering the foam of this potential money windfall...

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 20 August 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

Wow, Alison! That's great! But IS it another loan? I think of financial aid as an applicable gift.
Donald was paying his student loans off for YEARS. And they were for a Masters in Poetry. What a bad risk! It's weird that they give out money for that sort of thing. Are they stupid?
It's not a beach day today. Gray and cool. Nothing's worse than going to the beach on a borderline day because you feel like you have too, might not get another chance, etc, etc. You lie there shivering on your mildewy towel, waiting for the clouds to move past the sun. Don't even get me started on the windy days. Acck. The sand stuck to your sunblock.
So Maria, do describe your suit. Does it have a matronly skirt? A Hawaiian-style hibiscus print? Does it necessitate a pubic-mohawk shave?

― Beth Parker, Saturday, 20 August 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Hey! I just went clamming with my nephew and his girlfriend, and just as I was wading out into thigh-deep water with my dress rolled up into the elastic of my underwear it occurred to me that I had an ILL-FITTING BATHING SUIT in my car! Neon tie-dye! I stripped down right in the Clam Point parking lot and PUT IT ON!!!! Now I have so many clams! Littlenecks! Cherrystones! Gaggers! I'm going to take them to my sister-in-law's. It's her birthday. I should have ended that last sentence with an exclamation point too. Sorry!!!

― Beth Parker, Saturday, 20 August 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

Here I go again.

― Beth Parker, Saturday, 20 August 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

in case you missed my fair report on the county fair thread:

we just got back from the fair! we had fun. we went early to beat the crowds and sun. ALWAYS a good idea. we got to park right by the front gate. rufus loved the roosters in the ag hall and he loved the bird guy who had owls and falcons and eagles. he went on the car ride and the truck ride and the train ride. i had ribs and frozen lemonade and ice cream. the prize-winning vegetables looked great! superhuman summer squash! the carnies were nice. we got rufus a toy eagle and a huge thomas the tank engine balloon. everyone had fun. cyrus slept mostly. it got hot. we didn't stay for the lumberjack competition. the peruvian folk music was nice.

-- scott seward (skotro...), August 20th, 2005. (scott seward)

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 20 August 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Whoa! You missed the irate parent calling the cops on the dump-the-chump clown! That was yesterday. Big fracas! I wasn't there, but apparently the guy was accusing kids of being on WELFARE. Ooooh!!!! Them's fightin' words! But seriously, isn't it his job to get people mad so they'll want to dunk him?
Oh, and another carny called a little boy a fag for choosing a pink stuffed animal prize.
We ate pulled pork sandwiches, egg rolls, bad cold gyros and Jamaican meat patties. I had originally intended to get strawberry shortcake too, but I was afraid I'd get sick.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 21 August 2005 02:38 (twenty years ago)

Weekend report:
No county fairs this weekend. We did attend the Notre Dame (church) Festival, which was bizarre. Everyone seemed a little "off" - like in a Twin Peaks way. there was a tag sale, pony rides, games of chance(!), raffles, and....BEER! And a DJ playing rock music. I mean, it IS weird to be standing on the side lawn of a huge catholic church, drinking a draft Miller Lite and listening to Jethro Tull's "Aquau Lung" blasting.At noon. Right?
Anyway, we stopped by the Notre Dame Parish Festival while madly yard saling/freecycling, after the college orientation thingy.
here's what we got:
*A three speed bicycle - free! - from some yard salers who were calling it quits.(Also some lovely silken scarves from the same folks - and a small shelving unit)
*A Mac computer - G3?? - not that I would know- from a freecycler.
*Way too many books, as usual,many free from collapsing yard sales, some purchased.
*Three more K-Tel "Greatest Hits-Greatest Stars" albums, one of which had a surprise inside - "Best of Bread"! A unique sort of double album bonanza! And "Nina Simone sings Billie Holiday" - which is a bonanza in and of itself.
*You know, I can't even remember all of the loot-it was madness, I tell you.
* No ill-fitting bathing suits - none were offered. otherwise, I would have started a collection.
Re: Financial Aid - it's about two thirds grants and one third loans. So...it's a decent package. It's way more than I need, and it's not like they cut me a check for $18,000.00 and set me free to spend at will. But- some of it will come to me as a check, to cover costs of living, books, etc. That's scary.
UMASS is not terribly expensive - it's about $1,000.00 per class, minus books. (As compared to Columbia, Donald's alma mater, and the cause of my defulted, now rehabilitated loans)(Which is, like, $5,000.00 to ask for permission to attend a class, please, sir, thank you.)
There's a lot I have to figure out- rather quickly- and lots of things are still up in the air. My life is in serious anticipation/ limbo right now- but shopping makes everything feel ok!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 22 August 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

You always loved the K-tel records!

Alison and Beth, you need to get over to the radio station thread. The big BM is getting out of town and taking his white beard with him. He wants us to use or lose the FCC permit. The game is on!

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 24 August 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

A Mac computer - G3?? - not that I would know- from a freecycler.
It should SAY G3 on it if it's a G3! Did someone file off its identifying features?
I love my old G3—I can't use my old apple scanner with my G5 because it needs to plug into an old-style scuzzy port, and scuzzy-to-UHB adapters are over 100 bucks with no guarantees. So I use the old computer to do some scanning as the G5-compatible epson scanner SUCKS for line drawings. Then I email the scans to the other computer (G3 has no CD drive, G5 has no floppy or zip drive). It's a half-assed solution, but the more I poke around online, the more I realize that lots of people are pegging together systems like this. I dread the day when my old computer or my old scanner die.
Maybe I could have an "Incompetent Tech Support" show on the new radio station.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 24 August 2005 12:10 (twenty years ago)

Then I email the scans to the other computer (G3 has no CD drive, G5 has no floppy or zip drive).

Get one Ethernet.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 24 August 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

A G3 with no CD drive — when did any such thing exist?! Sorry, this is totally off thread topic, but wha??

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 24 August 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

Oh we strayed from our original charter long ago. I mis-spoke. My disc drive is BROKEN. I should get an external one, but the file emailing isn't too bad—the line drawings are smallish files.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 24 August 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

Get one Ethernet.
I would be cool to have the two computers networked, but I don't know how. Isn't the G3 too old for that sort of thing? I actually have emailed quite large 3-D scans. I just leave it attaching and do something else on the G5, like play endless games of solitaire or switch phone lines and go online. That way I occupy ALL THE PHONE LINES (home office). Yeah!
My husband has cable in his office, so it takes him a while to realize that I'm doing this.
I could get cable too, but it entails opening up the computer to put an airport card in, which freaks me out.
I limp along with the dial-up. It's not too bad.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 24 August 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

!!!!!

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 24 August 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

!!!!!
I am glad to have excited you!
I think, speak of the devil, that the old G3 just died. It's been almost half an hour since I turned it on and it hasn't budged off the "welcome to mac os 9.2" screen. Poor old thing.
Oh sad day.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 24 August 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

Maybe if I stand on the street corner in Alison's town, wearing my ill-fitting bathing suit, someone will give me a G3 too.

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 24 August 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

After several hours, the G3 opened up!
It's like that episode of The Outer Limits, where some explorers stumbled onto a world where everyone seemed to be frozen in time. It turned out that this other dimension—I forget how they got there—was not actually frozen but just very slow. They figured this out because they saw a kid on a tricycle, then wandered around for a few hours. When they circled back to the tricycle kid they noticed that the position of his legs had shifted slightly.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 25 August 2005 02:52 (twenty years ago)

beth, was i rude for bringing up those handy reliable coupons last nite? maria sez it was rude! i blame the gin. i didn't mean to be. i just wanted to make a point about how easily shaken the reliable staff is. of course i appreciated them to no end! the greatest gift ever on earth. and yours was great too, alison! you guys were really thoughtful and all i kept thinking was how lucky maria was for having such generous friends. that gin will loosen your tongue though. mmmm, gin. i should watch that stuff cuz my dad was a ginaholic. i come from a long line of them. mmmm, pie. mmm, apple sausage. i am now feeling the effects of my gorging.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 25 August 2005 09:49 (twenty years ago)

My brother-in-law Billy Meegan used to be a bartender at the Hot Tin Roof. It was his observation that the gin drunks were the meanest of the lot. As witnessed by your behavior last night. You were so rude that I had to obliterate your pudding!
No, you weren't rude. Reliable IS weird.
Sometimes after a drunken dinner party Donald tells me I was rude and I get all morose and think everyone hates me. As long as we have a few people who still talk to us things can't be too bad. And there's always ILX if we burn all our bridges past the point of pudding-repair.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 25 August 2005 12:33 (twenty years ago)

those gift certificates and diapers lasted us until Cyrus moved from size 1 to size 2!

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Thursday, 25 August 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

i am eating pie for lunch.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 25 August 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

I ate goat cheese, sourdough baguette and cherry tomatoes like your classic Chilmark Save fucking Tibet bumper stickered Volvo bitch w/ a marathon-running husband and a tasteful number of donor-egg babies. The tomatoes were from a vegetable garden that I planted for a landscaping client. They NEVER EAT ANYTHING OUT OF IT, so it's up to me. They were like little sugar-water bombs. I ate so many I have tummy trouble now. I'm slugging Pepto-Bismol as I type this. I should have had pie. Or tapioca. Very soothing.
I was hoping to come back here and find Donald so I could fit in some ill-fitting bathing suit action, maybe puke into the surf at Lucy Vincent Beach, but NOOOO. Off playing TENNIS. Fucking disgusting.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 25 August 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

beth, see, that is the other thing about cronig's. it's not just that everything is obscenely overpriced, it's the people you have to be around inside that place! reliable is way better in that respect. cronig's makes me want to kill. i worked behind a counter for many years in a very annoying high-rent district of philly, but these people are worse. woman screaming at the girl behind the deli-counter who very obviously can barely speak english: WHAT'S THE MOST ORGANIC TURKEY YA GOT WITH THE LEAST PRESERVATIVES!!! um, we have this turkey and this one...YEAH BUT WHAT'S THE MOST ORGANIC... LADY JUST PICK A FUCKING TURKEY, THERE'S 50 OTHER ASSHOLES BEHIND YOU WHO WANT TO ORDER. "MOST" ORGANIC????? LADY I'LL FIND YOU A TURKEY THAT IS ORGANIC UP THE ASS!!!! these people are trained to be speedy in the summertime, not to be turkey experts.

i don't like it. makes my blood boil. all those workers are sitting ducks. and the assholes have an unfair advantage.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 25 August 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

I know! And they try to VIBE their way ahead of you in the checkout line! I hate them! But Reliable gives me ACID FLASHBACKS. Too claustrophobic. I feel like I'm being watched.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 25 August 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

Beth, I bet you miss Kevin being at Cronig's.Now he's at Whole Foods, where everyone is trained to know the organic rating of everything.I LOVE going there, because they always have free samples. So I eat my way through the store, But then I get annoyed by the customers-the W.Mass. version of the Chilmark richies.There's a prepared food section,with an amazing salad bar, and cafe seating. But "eating in" at Whole Foods" makes me so angry that I can't enjoy the food! Uber-alterna moms and dads speaking VERY LOUDLY in politically correct language to their dismayed children.
"Fern Swallow, Please Choose To Not Stab Your Sister Right Now!"
kevin has a customer who insists that the grocery department deliver her cases of water in a cart - because she doesn't want it to touch the floor, or the "ground", because it would "change the energy". Kevin's comment, to me - "Do you think she knows water comes from the ground?"
Anyway, Whole Foods give us a 20% discount, and health and dental, so I can't complain.
I'm choosing my classes today! very exciting, but much too long to describe here.
two online classes - a new thing for me- might cut into my reading of "television without pity" and "the onion".(But not, of course, this thread, or ILE).
I'm having some Cuvee Blanc and going to enjoy the eventide on my porch, with Margaret Atwood. Not in person, but I'm reading "The Robber Bride", and it's really fun!
can Scott or maria direct me to a Cyrus thread? i ain't never laid eyes on the little bugger!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Thursday, 25 August 2005 22:38 (twenty years ago)

Cyrus ROCKS!!!! He has suddenly slid into his personality, full-blown, bobbing and weaving through the kiddie carnival ride of newbornhood and landing right-side-up on the moonwalk of bonafide babyhood. It's all there in his bemused half-smile, his waving hands conducting the cosmic orchestra.
I love Margaret Atwood. She nails women's nastiness to their fellow women better than anyone.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 25 August 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

http://dutchtoenglish.com/cyrus.html

I'm so remiss. I only sent 10 birth announcements out becaue we only had 10 envelopes. Two of them came back to sender. I just put a couple of photos up at the above link. In the lower, huuuuuge one, he's wearing a shirt you gave him.

I'll see about getting more photos here and reviving the Cyrus thread (there was one).

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 26 August 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://dutchtoenglish.com/brothers.jpg

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 26 August 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

There's kinda a Harry Potter thing going on! He looks like a baby!The second link gave a full picture - the first link made Cyrus look kinda Jurassic - big, staring, milky eye and NO OTHER FEATURES!

I found Beth's #, by looking through EVERY EMAIL from Beth, and Donald, and then, finally, you. And we had a chat.
I love me my phone. IRL.
I should contemplate another day of life in service to reproductive health, and choosing classes,and driving on a "donut' tire, as I managed to hit a curb today and deflate the right front tire (tow trucks were required - Rufus would have been pleased.)
But I think I will lurk for awhile, and come back.
Cyrus is very cute! I want to hold him before he toddles - I have several months, right?

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 26 August 2005 01:21 (twenty years ago)

Lurk meaning that I now lurk at the fringes of my own life- and then participate. Huh? But it's true.
The "Who shall I be tomorrow?" part is hard when you're old. I can be endlessly anything, in a sense, but...
it's hard being me, right now.
In a week or so, I may be happy -endlessly anything.
But today i am worried.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 26 August 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

Fingering the foam of my potential, as it were.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 26 August 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

Please contribute to the "Ten year Old You" thread. it needs some love- I have loved it enough.
Plus, my ten year old would probably have been intimidated by a ten year old Beth, and Maria as well.
Although Beth did admit, on the phone last night, to being greasy and smelly.In the past.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 26 August 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Oh! The present too! Don't forget my chosen profession—gardener (I'm trying to stop calling myself a "landscaper." It's such a status-anxious term. The other day a woman introduced herself to me as a "landscape designer." Yeah, yeah).
Anyway, smelly. My sprayer, filled always with a cocktail of several different deer repellents, is constantly rolling around in the back of my stationwagon (no truck, I'm that bush-league) and discharging itself. I've gotten so used to the smell—rotten eggs, urea, garlic, fish oil, etc, that I find it PLEASING. It gets all over me and I think "it's not so bad," and then go visit the salad bar.
Don't worry, I DO bathe thoroughly at the end of the workday. During my heavy season I can't be bothered to clean under my fingernails, though. It hurts to scrape that stuff out. To really get it I have to use a needle, the quick of my nail gets pushed back and back, and the next day it's full of dirt again. Fuck it. Besides, it's good for you to ingest a few soil organisms. Farmers have fewer autoimmune diseases.

― Beth Parker, Friday, 26 August 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

I do intend to contribute to the ten-year-old me thread, but I need a big block of time to read the whole thing. I think it's poor form to post without reading it all. You might have EXACTLY the same ten-year-old self as a previous writer, so then what would be the point of taking up space? A redundant history!
Donald's childhood buddy Andrew (Hindes, of "Not The Vineyard Gazette" fame) is flying in tonight. We have to gather up all Donald's scattered tennis books and put them back on the tennis bookshelf. There's a "who's got more tennis books" competition going on between those two. I've even grabbed multiple copies of "The Inner Game of Tennis" from the thrift shop, just for the shelf-inches.

― Beth Parker, Friday, 26 August 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

I think it's ok as it has been Revived - post away! it's good to read the entire thread, but it is also sad. Liz, who died through the bombings in London, is there.Maybe that's why it was revived. I just tried to save it.
Also because I love talking about myself.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 26 August 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

I am going to see Ashley MacIsaac - sp? - play - for free!
At "Celebrate Holyoke"! Say it, Maria.
Tomorrow the Spin Doctors are playing at Celebrate Holyoke,and at the "Westfield taste of the World" John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band shall be hammering out the one hit they have
Choices, choices.
Well, tonight is already decided. Ashley fuckng MacIsaac!! I would bare my breasts for him, but he's queer.
I paid 20 dollars to see him the last time!
Ashley -for free - while celebrating Holyoke? Classic or...classic.
Say "Holyoke". Out loud. Come on, Maria. You can do it.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 26 August 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps if you bared your breasts for him he would be CURED of this "queer" affliction.
I just REGISTERED to see what that's all about. There are all these militant pro-registration threads about, I didn't want to piss those people off y'know? Not be invited to their party. But I think I want to have a couple of drinks before I write anything in the Personal Information box. Not that I'm not spewing everything all the time right here. What's my problem?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 26 August 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

Ashley is now thin and dresses like an alterna -fuck, last time I saw him he was chubby and bearded. Oh well - he still plays that fiddle like...nobody else.
I did go up to the stage and requested "Hector The Hero" - my favorite sad tune. Ashley said "I only play that for dead people! Did someone die?" I said Yes! a woman died in London, because of the bombings.
it was the first thing that came to mind.
Ashley said "sometimes people lie to me when they ask me to play a certain tune."

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 27 August 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

Ashley is now thin and dresses like an alterna -fuck, last time I saw him he was chubby and bearded. Oh well - he still plays that fiddle like...nobody else.
I did go up to the stage and requested "Hector The Hero" - my favorite sad tune. Ashley said "I only play that for dead people! Did someone die?" I said Yes! a woman died in London, because of the bombings.
it was the first thing that came to mind.
Ashley said "sometimes people lie to me when they ask me to play a certain tune."
A

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 27 August 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

And i said "She made gorgeous cakes!
And he played Hector for me, and dedicated it to Liz. And hundreds of people in Holyoke listened, and clapped.
meanwhile, I never had even a slight interaction with Liz.But it still seemed ok.i wasn't using her death to get sympathy - it really was the first thing that popped into my brain.And i think she would probably love the whole scenario

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 27 August 2005 00:50 (twenty years ago)

Maybe people should go to his shows armed with their loved ones' obituaries.
I've always been too shy to call out song requests. A remnant of my knock-kneed wallflower childhood. I applaud loudly, though (Unless they suck). I can clap like a sonic boom. I developed this skill during school graduations, in order to offset the way some kids got more applause than others. When the class pariahs shuffled up to the podium I'd just about bruise my hands. This was eighth-grade graduation. By the time high school graduation came along most of the kids had gained some modicum of compassion. The retarded girl in Nigel's class whose father had to help her onto the stage received a spontaneous standing ovation from her classmates. For WEEKS when I'd tell people about it I'd start crying.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 27 August 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

A geuine outpouring of mass emotion is so good. I just hate when people feel somehow forced to clap. And, you know, I will proudly sit on my fat ass and refuse to acknowledge the national anthem. With a stubborn and petulant look on my face.
I walked up and requested the song because everyone was so dull - I figured he would like to see a real fan.
And he did.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 27 August 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

Alison, where exactly are you going that the national anthem is being played? Good lord! Nascar races?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 August 2005 00:03 (twenty years ago)

i stood up for the national anthem during the illumination night ceremonies. it seemed like the thing to so. ALL the cool kids were doing it. they need a new group sing leader though. that guy is pretty lame.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 28 August 2005 00:09 (twenty years ago)

I guess it was the Fourth of July where I sat on my fat, petulant ass and refused to participate.And a baseball game, a few weeks ago.
Is everything about ILX big and weird somehow? Or am I hallucinating? It feels like I'm reading a children's book!
Not many people hitting the "anawim" thread.I really believed it would be a popular thread. I would EXPECT Maria to contribute,at least.Come on - ANAWIM!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 28 August 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

Also, regarding the national anthem: Cher sang the most kick ass version of it EVAH! Well, a national treasure singing the national anthem is so good. i was shopping at K-mart (which is weird) just after 9/11 and Cher's version of it came warbling out of the store speakers. I literally stopped, in the middle of the store, and began to weep.
I, like, never go to K-Mart? I was shopping for a shower curtain or something. I recall that I had a shopping cart, and I leaned on it when I broke down. I cried at K-Mart because of the haunting beauty of Cher's version of the national anthem!
I think that's very patriotic of me- to cry at K-Mart.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 28 August 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

i took a nap this afternoon- which turned into a long sleep, so I'm very awake and it's the middle of the night!My sleep patterns have been so fucked up for so long...i read something about sleep patterns in the old days - like, everyone used to sleep in shifts, wake up in the middle of the night and have a "breakfast" and go back to sleep until dawn.
I'm old school!
The thing is, being up in the middle of the night - I actually read the entire "Registered" thread - and after awhile it all seems really absurd! "How Can You Herd Cats?"
Anyhoo, it is 3 a.m and I am awake! I might try sleeping for two or three hours, and wake up tired but aware of, um, the sun and circadian rhythms.
And maybe I will post to every single thread right now.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 28 August 2005 06:14 (twenty years ago)

I'm so glad that you broke down and submitted to the excellent Pudding thread. I don't get the registration thing at all, but I guess I should pose my query on that thread. But I'm scared of them! They sound ANGRY!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 August 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

They are very angry. I think the funniest part about it is-they're all (mostly) using made up names! And yelling at each other! maybe the high humor content came from being up late at night, reading the entire thread. But it's hard to take anything seriously when the fake names are so....twee.
We must talk about "Le Grenier" and flambeeing ,at length. I'm not stepping down one inch about puddings.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 28 August 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

The Hot tubs are heating up to the point of flambee as well

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 August 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

I just went towards the hottubs, but got distracted by the Hurricane thread.Lordy lordy - is New Orleans really doomed? This is scary! I feel like I need to watch tv news or something.
Not New Orleans! The best city in America!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 28 August 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

Good luck with TV news. The satellite is all screwy here, and network tv is blithely carrying on with regular programming despite the fact that one of the world's great cities might be obliterated in nine hours. Those poor people stuck on the highway.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 August 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

Well, THAT was a dismal failure.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jdhodges.com/posters/esther-williams-poster-307114.html

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

And that wasn't quite what I'd intended, either, but at least y'all can go there quickly enough. That bathing suit RULES.
I guess you have to find a picture with its own URL, isolated from text, to have it show up here. I'm going to keep experimenting. Bear with me.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.rumela.com/gallery_1/esther_williams/esther_williams01

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.rumela.com/gallery_1/esther_williams/esther_williams01?full=1

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Flailing away, here. Feel free to step in, anybody.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.betweenthecovers.com/images/47397.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.betweenthecovers.com/display.php%3Fid%3D47397&h=503&w=300&sz=28&tbnid=m8ZMLMtfLkwJ:&tbnh=127&tbnw=75&hl=en&start=23&prev=/images%3Fq%3Desther%2Bwilliams%2Bimages%26start%3D20%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

This just defeats me. That last one REALLY NEEDS to be out here on the page in all its glory.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

Dammit!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 01:06 (twenty years ago)

Okay Beth Parker - here's how, but take out the space after the < and the space before the >

your link url goes here

― Jaq (Jaq), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 01:46 (twenty years ago)

Beware though that some websites get very very cranky if you hotlink their images like that.

― Jaq (Jaq), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 01:48 (twenty years ago)

But, for you, O Pudding Queen:

http://www.betweenthecovers.com/images/47397.jpg

― Jaq (Jaq), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 01:52 (twenty years ago)

Oh thank you!!!! I hope those Esther Williams poster people don't come gunning for me. I didn't MEAN to hotlink them! Absence of Malice! Abscess of Malice? A bad combo w/ pudding. And bathing suits.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jdhodges.com/posters/esther-williams-poster-307114.html

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

I followed your directions! I am cursed...
I'm going to try a DIFFERENT GRAPHIC.
< img src=http://www.aeroplastics.net/FT/pages/Divine3.jpg>

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

Shit! There was a SPACE!! Try again.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I AM THE PUDDING QUEEN!!!!! GROVEL, LOWLY EARTHLINGS!!!!!!!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Beth, are the bands staying at Donald's on thursday nite? there will be an ILXor among them! Hide the silverware, he's a wild one.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 01:00 (twenty years ago)

damn, damn, damn i'll be gone on thursday and will miss roger adultery

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

They probably are staying with us. Roger Adultery? Do we have to find him someone's wife to sleep with. I didn't open the email. I've been working on the magazine—finally got the last of the graphics, and it's all ready to be proofed. I'm a scratchy-eyed zombie.

Ah, here we are:
WOODEN WAND AND THE VANISHING VOICE + ALAISDAIR ROBERTS + COYOTE

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 1ST
AT ABOVEGROUND RECORDS
7PM / ALL AGES / $5 SUGGESTED DONATION

www.woodenwand.sinkhole.net
www.alaisdairroberts.com

I'll find out from Chris to see if I need to put clean sheets on the beds. Or maybe put the silverware under the mattresses. If they find it they are true princesses. Which one's the ILXor?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

He posts as roger fidelity since he got married. plays music sometimes with scott's bro. nice guy but loves guns and libertarianism.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

Yikes! I'll tell Emily's kids not to annoy him.
Hey, typo on one of the websites above. Try this:
http://www.alasdairroberts.com/

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

Yes indeed, Donald and Beth's Rock Star Hotel will be occupied on Thursday nite. I'm putting the after-dinner mints of the pillows right now (I was thinking of putting pudding on the pillows, but I'm afraid it would be misinterpreted).)

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

Where the hell is Alison?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 1 September 2005 03:34 (twenty years ago)

I was reading the 1,500 posts about Hurricane Katrina, and then reading about it on my Yahoo content. Wading through chest deep waters in your clothing is, indeed, an ill-fitting bathing suit.
We don't have cable! We barely get any channels! So watching tv is just not an option-even to be distracted by well fitting bathing suits on hot bods on some network show.
Also, I was at work.
It's really something, our hurricane ravaged coastline the size of Great Britain.
I'm considering the propriety of singing "Lake of Pontchatrain" at the Irish session this evening. it's a Civil War song, about a soldier who finds comfort, having been left desolate and wandering, in a house by Pontchatrain. it seems somewhat fitting...
Here's a verse:
"I said'Me pretty Creole girl, me money it is no good
If it weren't for the alligators I'd sleep out in the woods'.
'You're welcome here, kind stranger, our house is very plain.
But we've never turned a stranger out from the banks of Ponchatrain"
It's a refugee song.
This whole thing in New Orleans is probably right on par with post Civil War chaos, given all our modern ways to prevent it. (if you measure it like they do with economic values from the past, in that way, meaning it's as bad for us as it was for them, adjusting for our sensibilities)
I'm afraid that someone will argue with me! I'm a little jumpy from spending too many hours on that other thread.(I never posted).
I'm having that scary feeling that the blue glow and continous hum of the computer is becoming my "normal" life. I will now go and sing. I will report back as soon as I return home.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Thursday, 1 September 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

I know, I've been spending an inordinate amount of time online, too. Finally I got the last graphics I needed for the mag so at least I'm doing that, too. The big push. Landscaping is slowing down—it's time to go into total collapse mode. I could be working more than I am—making up projects—but I just don't have the drive. Bad.
Our power was out for about an hour tonight. We'd been talking about how the New Orleans catastrophe has highlighted our vulnerability on the energy front, and then BOOM, lights out. Tomorrow I'm going to buy a gazillion candles. My supply is a bit low.
Gas is $6 a gallon in Alabama. Maybe this is what it will take to stop the greedball SUV-buying consumerism in this country. Gonna see some carpooling, you betcha.
I hate those cars (how unique of me). And everyone always goes on about how the owners must have virility issues, etc, but look around, it's all women in those things. Suburban soccer moms throwing their weight around. Men buy the stupid big-ass pickups.
God, I'm in some sort of I HATE PEOPLE mode, and incoherent to boot! I should log off before I bring y'all down...

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 2 September 2005 02:37 (twenty years ago)

coincidence! i'm listening to an alasdair roberts cd right now. it's brightening my work day.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 2 September 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm assuming he's covering "Pontchatrain" the song.On your CD. It has been sung by many a bard- I do the Billy Kelly version.The verses don't change much-but the tune is somewhat malleable.
I sang it as strong as I could tonight, but I kept on faltering. Like the words were hitting me - and, I don't know, everyone said it sounded great, but something seemed off. Like me.
Nothing really worked out, musically, tonight. I didn't get the sense that I was part of it- the session.
And usually we are very good together.
Something was off kilter.
But it was good to get out.Be amongst people. be acknowleged.
I wish I knew how to spell that word.
I'll be all over this thread like a tight, orange banana hammock in a day or two. Just you wait!
I only make small ventures into the IRL world when I am required to.beyond work.(The Irish session being an exception).
It makes it much easier to avoid wearing an ill fitting bathing suit.


― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 2 September 2005 03:44 (twenty years ago)

acknowlejjed.
Alison, I'm sure you were just fine. How could the words NOT hit you?
I gotta go to bed, here on the other side of the planet from you, Gem. But happy workday!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 2 September 2005 04:11 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I'm back, and guess what? I have to go to bed again. Worked like a dog and then went out to eat (at Moxie) but the chocolate dessert I was looking forward to was NOT THE SAME!!!!! Instead of a warm chocolate souffle with an oozing molten core and glops of whipped cream it was a cold log of chocolate-blackout blah. COLD!!!!
Shit.
I ate one bite, Donald ate the rest. I feel shafted, and not in a good way.
I'm going back to bed with the Sunday NY Times puns and anagrams puzzle, which I am butting my dull brain against like a fish callousing its lips against the aquarium glass. I actually finished one once upon a time.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 3 September 2005 01:11 (twenty years ago)

Bbbbut-it's Saturday! You are making things here, on this thread, a little bit too wacky, talking about Sunday things on Saturday, talking about desserts when it's NOT a dessert thread. What's next?
Also, if you don't finish the puzzle, how will you complete the fish/aquarium simile? And what will you be wearing?
Beth, please try to stay on topic, please.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 3 September 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

I am humbly chastened. It was LAST Sunday's puzzle. I've only gotten about eight words. I'm late in coming to these puzzles.
I woke up still bitterly disappointed over that cold fudge-log.
I am wearing my favorite dress, a sleeveless cotton knit, orange with purple planets and rockets all over it. I bouught it at the Winterhawk bluegrass festival years ago. It's very faded now, with a few of those ominious holes forming around the shoulders. The my-sweat-is-nitric-acid syndrome.
ANYWAY—and I'm going to revive the pudding thread and trumpet the news there too—I am going to learn to make chocolate souffle!
I am forced to. I don't see any way out of this...
There! That was a nice unified-theme post!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 3 September 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

It is sorta ok.What about the simile fish? Huh?
Everybody ignores their similes, leaves them hanging around, waiting for a sentence to rescue them.
I'm still pretty much picking myself up and dusting myself off from the insinuation that a Times puzzle could be had on a far flung island BEFORE THE DATE ITSELF!
Maybe thee Pudding Queen needs to be stopped?
WE CAN TALK ABOUT YESTERDAY, AND TODAY, BUT NOT TOMORROW!
Ok, I'm off to start a tomorrow thread.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 3 September 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

beth you MUST talk with me. it's the weekend! I'm a pudding princess!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 3 September 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

Now it's Sunday here. But still Saturday.I'll just talk to myself for awhile.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 4 September 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

I'm so sorry about the fish.
I hit a major bump in the road with the magazine. I'd been working on it at night on the laptop, so I kept burning it onto a disc to take back and forth, replacing the older version each time. Well, SOMEHOW the graphics all shit the bed. Lost info in a big way. Either I should have saved them in a less lossy format than I did, or the funky cd burner at home did it (the internal disc drive on the laptop is screwy, so we bought an equally screwy external drive. Non-screwy ones cost an arm and a leg). Who knows. Anyway, it's all done now, and I think I've perfected the setting on my new scanner for optimum line drawing reproduction. Blah blah blah. Sorry.
Also, I hurt myself at work, strained my pectoral muscle, a band of pain from tit to armpit, now travelling around to the upper back. Hurts to move, hurts to breathe. Fuck's sake. I'm consuming huge amounts of Ibuprofen (vitamin I) and whining. It'll repair itself, but for the meantime I'm thinking a lot about how illness and injury affect your mood. I'm trying not to let it, because as we age we become such a catalog of frailties. This is nothing!
So I'm like a fish in an aquarium, callousing his kissy lips on the glass that stands between him and his...robustitude?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 4 September 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

I'm now going to try to attach a picture from email as opposed to one from the net.
here goes:

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 4 September 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Holy Shit! That's Puck!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 4 September 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

Funny, I pasted that in on my G5 in my office and it opened right away, but on the G4 laptop at home it wouldn't open. So I photoshopped it, smaller image, lower-quality jpeg, then got in here to paste it again, and lo and behold, it opened. I think the dial-up connection here varies. Aren't you just connecting to one of a bank of modems? Some of them must be funky. Sometimes I hang up and try for a faster connection.
Lemme see if he's showing up in the Old Dog thread.
Puck would not be caught dead in an ill-fitting bathing suit.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

No luck here linking any Puck pics.Sorry to hear of your injuries-you are the last person I think of as having any physical ailments; you seem so healthy!
I am slowly moving out of an "all Katrina-all the time" state of mind. Well, I still haven't watched any television -and maybe it's worse to read it all.
Policemen committing suicide? It's all very,very surreal
A PARTY broke out on my porch yesterday. Quite spontaneous.The new neighbors downstairs, in the apartment building, came over, and then some more neighbors came over, and then some margaritas appeared. I was wearing my pajamas. it all started with the 11 foot long albino python, named Malachy, from the first floor apartment, being fed his rat ration on the lawn and me running downstairs to find my cat, who doesn't know that the snake will eat him. The first floor neighbor, owner of the python, is pretty good about handling the snake i.e not putting pets in harms way. But still, I worry.
I had to tell you this-because it was such an absurd series of events which led to a PARTY breaking out.
I'm not sure how it all happened-but there are lots of empty budweiser cans lining the porch railing (I'm on the third floor).The new second floor neighbors left a friend behind....on my porch....I had to admonish them for that-they're young, and need to be tutored in the ways of spontaneous party behavior. I'm not even asking people to take their empties-just their guests!
I returned their guest to them, and then we danced to eighties music.
I also led a group INTO my apartment and lent everyone a book from our vast collection.
And gave my usual tipsy lecture on the death of feminism, "don't call me a girl", why Bush sucks, the importance of community, and ...religion.
It was kinda like being on ILX all day-except for the albino python.
Today is so tame in comparison-I'm nervous about going out....what if another party is waiting to happen?

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 5 September 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

There's the smaller jpg. However, the big one is still open on my computer. This is weird. I thought I had the slowest connection of all.
It's Tucker's 21st birthday. Last night he positioned himself at the door of the Ritz, and entered when the hour struck. Between 12:00 and 12:30 he drank a revolting variety of drinks, was returned safely home by his older bro, and is now awake and fine.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Bear with me. I'm trying to see how people post pictures that are preceded by the outline of a graphics frame so that you know a picture's coming, rather than the ones I've been doing that just pop out of the ether.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

Well, obviously that was an utter failure. The graphics frame thing must have something to do with the nature of the picture you're importing. This is a scan that I attached into my email, then opened and copied the address of the view page.
Other people's photos pop up like that, too, so I guess I'm not a total loser. Besides, any picture of Puck is better than no picture of Puck.
I have to go to work, sore shoulder notwithstanding.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

Happy birthday Tucker! I too ended up at the Ritz on my 21st. I started going there when I was 19, in the winter, and then was kicked out in the summer, when they started checking i.d.'s.Most unfair.
I worked at the Black Dog when I turned 21. Captain Bob generously gave all of the employees a day sail on the Shenandoah- on my 21st birthday.(The two events are entirely coincidental).I have a whole roll of pictures from that day, including a very punk rock Maria hoisting a beer, and then jumping off the boat. (It was anchored. But she did jump from the rigging.)
It was, really, the most fabulous birthday-I was awoken by friends giving me presents, and bong hits, spent the day sailing around on Captain Bobs big mother ass schooner, sat in the swinging chair that they dangle off the bowsprit, sat on the bowsprit singing sea chanteys and drinking a beer, was safely returned to the harbor....
and then went to every fucking bar in Oak Bluffs. And danced.
I apologize for bragging, but-it was a magnificent day.
What's next on Tucker's list of events- is the queen of pudding providing some cake? Some...dare I say it...PUDDING CAKE?
He might have to go to the Rare Duck and drink a mudslide- it's a rite of passage.
I wonder if anyone else reads this thread- and if they do, how strange it must seem. I must seem.
Still no luck with any Puck pics- I am probably the slowest internet user in the world. I can basically dial up, open the katrina thread, and then go have a party on the porch before the whole thing downloads. I'm exaggerating. But it does take several minutes.
Give Tucker a big fat smooch-post pics of him!Even if i can't see them!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 5 September 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. I was away from the computer, in CT and NY. I came home to all Katrina all the time on the TV set. Scott can't tear himself away from it.

I feel like the days of wearing ill-fitting suits this year are numbered.

So did you find your cat or did the snake get him?

Did you recover your images?

Did you make pudding cake?

The highlights of my weekend were the cool godhead gravestones at the Scantic cemetery, drinking pink mead, and finding a ride for my uncle so he wouldn't have to run across a 6-lane highway to his car at the rest stop on the other side.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 5 September 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Welcome back, Maria! The perfect, perfect fluffy kitty is fine. I could post a picture of the snake, but I don't know how.I'll send it to you and to Beth instead.(This is pretty crafty!)

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 5 September 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

This might come out kind of fuzzy. Did something wrong when I reduced the size. But now I've taken a muscle relaxant for my fucked shoulder/chest/back/morale and am going to lie down. I'll do further battle later.
It's my favorite picture of him, in the sunset at Joshua Tree two years ago. The sunsets were all the more spectacular because of the big LA fires that were burning at the time.
Oh, a thought. I couldn't see the photos of Puck just now until I shut down all the applications that were open except the browser. Toast was being weird, not wanting to quit even with Force Quit. I had to restart the computer to get it to get over itself. So maybe you've got some misbehaving programs open that are taking up a lot of memory.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

Yes indeed, it did come out pretty suckful. Let's see if I can improve things in my drugged haze.
You know, one can adjust the settings so that it only opens the last few yards of posts on the thread, but I'm so fond of the picture of Sean Astin. I have to see it EVERY TIME.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

Drugs so rule! Can you see that?
I thank you all for your patience while I use you as guinea pigs in my attempts to become ILE-savvy. Perhaps these hard-won skills will have other applications in my life.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

Now I have to go melt into my mattress. Welcome back Maria—it's good you were there to keep your relations from being run over! I tried to drag Scott and Rufus to the beach, but Scott was too busy rolling up his change. Rufus had fun with my tank sprayer, though. You're not gonna have any deer in your driveway!
Minions is all better, Donald's giving it the final proofing tonight. Lord knows, I can't. Even if I wasn't in a drugged stupor, I've looked at it so much I can't see it anymore.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

No pics here. And I emailed you the snake picture as if you could post it! Maria can post it.I might email all of my posts to Maria, just to see what happens.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 5 September 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

Maybe only I can see the pictures I post. Off in my own little world.
My old friend mr. pain is back—I'm typing with one hand. Probably should have been all along. If this is still this ridiculous tomorrow I'm going to the walk-in. Fuck. I need a total upper-left quadrant amputation.
I'll go get the snake.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)


Holy Moley!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

Hey Alison, can you see THAT???? The "save for web" option on photoshop enabled me to turn your 500-odd k picture into a low-res 24k jpeg. It popped up pretty quick on my laptop, where we've got a deep-country slow dial-up.
You should do that settings change so you can get to the new Katrina posts quicker.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 5 September 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

No, there are still no pictures. Sorry about sending the snake picture at such a high,big, whatever-rate?
I tried to change the settings, but there were too many questions. I didn't find the part where I could just ask for the last 100 posts. I felt like I would end up changing my registration. Which would be very devastating, since i don't know what I'm doing on this computer thingy, and would probably never be allowed back.
It's a really big snake! I'm glad you can see that! I wasn't exaggerating!For once!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 00:04 (twenty years ago)

It's a beautiful snake, and a beautiful tatooed gecko tail around his owner's nipple.
Are you sure you're waiting long enough for the graphic to appear? There's a little time lag, maybe 30 seconds. Is the answer window hopping around when you type? If so, the opening graphics are changing the length of the thread. I just find it hard to believe that anyone could have a slower connection than me. After all, you're out in the real world!
Check again. I bet it's there.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

God, everyone who didn't take a pill and sleep all day has gone to bed. I'm so desperate I even responded to the DEMIGOD guy. Time to read my book. Bye.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

None of the pictures are showing for me. I think they're showing up for you, Beth, because they're on your local system. AFAIK, they have to "live" somewhere on the web before you can link to them. You could have Donaldo upload them to the banjo site, or if you'd like, you can e-mail them to me and I could upload them to my website. I'll upload the snake now and then upload it. Sorry to hear you're still illin'.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 01:40 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://dutchtoenglish.com/python.JPG

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 01:42 (twenty years ago)

oh, shoot. well, you can still click the link.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 01:43 (twenty years ago)

Thank you Maria! What I get, Beth, is a small box with a red x in it. I get all the other graphics.
Maria, you are being very tolerant right now. I know how dismayed you are by my utter incompetence with the "computer thingy." Thank you for letting everyone (not that anyone else comes to this thread, but...)see Malachy, the albino python who lives downstairs.And shall not eat my cat.
I have held that snake, and believe me, that's a blonde you do not want to fuck with. That's 11 feet of killing muscle.
There's also two boa constricters, a parrot, three cats and two lizards cohabiting downstairs.(And three people).The boas are still young- only five feet, at this point.They don't come out much-they move pretty fast, so are more likely to escape. That's comforting!
Oh, and the rats.Mostly being bred for food.
I guess, being on the third floor, I am really on top of the food chain.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

AFAIK, they have to "live" somewhere on the web before you can link to them.
But but but, they were on Yahoo! That's webmail, right? And I posted the pictures of Puck from the Middle Rd computer and I see them here at Indian Hill. That picture is not on this computer. It's only in my email. What does AFAIK mean? Why is this happening to me? Waaaah.
Do you think it's just fetching it out of my email? But nobody else can get into my email so they can't get it? What if I gave everyone on ILE my email password?
I can see I'm going to have to put Puck and Tucker on the Banjo Newsletter website. High time. I don't know how we'll justify the snake guy. Well at least I can see him. I have customized ILE.
I'm going to the doctor. Maybe my arm should come off or something.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

I think you would make a fetching amputee.

AFAIK = as far as I know

I think giving everyone on ILE your password would be a fine idea.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Back from Doc. May as well have the thing amputated for all the use it will be for the next SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS. OH WOE! She told me, and this is an excact quote: "Don't fuck around!" I love my doctor.
A partially torn rotator cuff. Boy, anyone with a FULLY torn one has my sympathy. They must just take those people out and shoot them. A lotta pudding in my future, not because this injury affects my ability to chew, but simply because pain turns me into a big baby.
I should use this time to set up an ile graphics staging-area website. Maybe I can hide a page in the Banjo Newsletter site.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

my mom tore her cuff and then starting downing heavy-duty painkillers with her nightly cocktails. I hope you got a good "scrip"

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

I refused the drugs. They were offered. I almost always prefer pain. I don't do well with narcotics. I get depressed, immediately strung out and shaky, the pain only goes away for about an hour, it returns worse than before, I have no control over my thought processes, shall I go on? I hate 'em. I was never an aficianado of downers. I liked amphetamines, which is probably the cause of my recurring tachycardia. In my sedate middle age, red wine is fine. The occasional margarita or scotch. Once in a while a gin and tonic. I come from a line of epic boozers. Doesn't everyone?
The shoulder pain is somewhat dampened by 800mg doses of ibuprofen, the same as a prescription Motrin. Ice, heat. Pity.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

You are brave. I'd take the drugs.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

I'm always seduced at first, witness my upthread consumption of muscle relaxants. I'm still paying for that! Weird-ass hangover like the panic attack of all time. I'm enough of a basket-case naturally—I don't want to amp it up!
The pain's not bad as long as I don't move certain ways. The worst thing is not being able to curl up on my side in bed. I can only lie on my back like a coma patient.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

Beth that sucks! See, you're so quick to change the subject from your personal suffering that it was hard to understand what a serious injury you suffered.
I hope you get some time off...well deserved...post season.
I just got back from a catering job-the first one I have done in years- I was asked to fill in at the last minute by the girlfriend of the "event planner". I now have Post Catering Stress Syndrome. Like, I'm home and still worried about the tiny phyllo pastries that didn't get baked off at the right time.
I was sort of the "head" of the kitchen part, too, which was very crazy, since I signed up for this two days ago and just walked in and started managing the wait staff, traying appetizers, cooking...
I'm a reproductive health counselor, damn it!
The wait staff were all volunteers, and looking to me for leadership. I finally said "Look, I work for Tapestry (my clinic) as a counselor-I used to cater, so i kind of know what to do, but I want you guys to feel FREE to make decisions on your own."
One of the volunteer guys said "Tapestry? I went to you guys for an STI screen!" I said I hoped that it had gone well for him. He said "Yeah, actually (chuckle) it did."
It is so weird for someone to proclaim, in public, that they have been tested for sexually transmitted infections just because you work at the clinic where they were tested. I mean, where's that conversation supposed to go?
And he went on! He complimented our clinician. (Yes she's very good, lots of people like her....) and our free services (yes it's public health, we like to provide access to people in need, here's a tray of mini quiche appetizers)...
Post Catering Stress Syndrome! i was very, very concerned with too many small appetizzing tidbits being heated and put on attractive trays in a timely manner.
However, he sat on the table near my "station" at the end of the night, and brought me wine as I washed the dishes. So I love him.
Those fucking phyllo pastry apps came out like little blobs. They tasted good, but looked really bad.I am not a chef!
Tomorrow morning, I'll tell you all about...SCHOOL!!!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 9 September 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

it's tomorrow morning. I just got a phone call from my mom(message) that her car was stolen over night. I, left the phone off the hook last night, after a chat with a good friend, so I'm waiting for it to recharge.
I took my mom to a Dr.'s appointment yesterday, before the catering thing. Her neighborhood is not exactly great, but it doesn't seem like a it's THAT bad. The scary part is...her car is (Was) in her driveway, about three feet from her back porch, which leads to her back door...she's 73 years old. She had a follow up appt. for laser eye surgery yesterday, has had both knees replaced, keeps her house locked, but...
I feel like I have to get her out of there.
I will tell you more soon-I think the phone has to be recharged enough to talk at this point. My mom! It's so not good - it's too close to her back door.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 9 September 2005 11:46 (twenty years ago)

My mom is being very sanguine about this. She's going to a reunion type thing at her boarding/high school today, so I guess that's good.( She doesn't drive much, and a friend is chauffering her) Her car is a 1995 Honda Civic, and Hondas are very notorious for being targeted by...people who steal cars.
My mom said they probably have "cased" her house for awhile, and figured out her "security" lights (that go on as soon as you approach the back door.I set them off every time I go out to smoke a cigarette when I stay over. Motion activated.)
So I'm actually more upset than she is. But I think she's in shock. I want her out of that neighborhood. If they (car thieves) have "cased" her property for the Honda, they probably realize that she's a defenseless old lady who can't move very quickly.
Or maybe they just wanted the Honda. I don't want to second guess thieves at this point.
I bought her VW Golf (1987) from her when she bought the Honda from my brother and sister in law. To replace the 1990 VW Fox that I bought from the same brother, to replace the Volvo I got from my uncle. Our family loves to sell cars to each other! My Golf is such a rusty bucket that I don't take the keys out of the ignition -even when I'm at my mom's. She has always been nervous about it, and I always say "Mom, the person who can get that car in gear in order to steal it- well, they are welcome to it."
And, in fact, I left it like that yesterday! Windows open, keys in the ignition...but it really is a very unnattractive car. (Which means I'm keeping it until it dies completely).
I have also chauffered my mom around in the Honda for the past few years, and I LOVE THAT CAR! I expected that it would be mine, someday, given our family history with cars.
Now I'm upset about the Honda. It was a GREAT car.
The Springfield police are not hopeful for a good outcome- probably not surprising in a small city that has a murder rate worse than Boston.
My 73 year old mother used the term "cased" today!She's supposed to be tending her small, lovely garden, slowly but surely!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Friday, 9 September 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

Oh lordy! My best to your mom! Good she's still gardening. Now will you have to get her another relative's car?
As for the catering, I just hope that guy wasn't scratching his chancres and then handling the quiche.
Entire Wedding Party Comes Down with Oral Syphilis!!!!!!!!!!
I have to take my mom on errands.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 9 September 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

That was a long errand-run. But I'm back, one arm and everything!
So Scott, Maria, and other Vineyarders on-thread, Richard Buckner and Chris Brokaw at the Alehouse tonight. Put some bourbon in the baby bottles and come on out!!!


― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 10 September 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

I got sadly interrupted in the middle of a huge post-now lost. My moms car was found by the police -smashed into a tree, about two miles from her house. Right next to the high school.So it was probably joyriders.
I still don't understand how they managed to steal it without breaking anything-like, a window to get into the car. They were very smooth with the thieving, not so smooth with the driving.
I'm going to go to church with my mom tomorrow- I offered to take her out today, but she was up late with the police.We'll pray for the sinners that took her-MY-car.
I have alerted the insurance executive brother/sister in law about all of this, so maybe they can sell her their deluxe Volvo. I'm still willing to take the poor smashed Honda- although I haven't seen how bad it is yet.
Have you gone to the Phil Hartman thread? It is truly brilliant.
Say hi to Bob Skydell for me-eat some peanuts for me-have fun!Is lifting a beer part of you physical rehabilitation, Beth? Rotate, damn it!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 10 September 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

I have always been a two-fisted drinker.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 10 September 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

An ambidextrous alcoholist.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 10 September 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

Bibulously bimanual.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 10 September 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

This is so off thread-but....I just got the DVD of "Lost"!!! I missed a bunch of episodes, and I kind of prefer watching it in one big gulp. So...I have nine juicy episodes (three DVDs) to view. To chew. To slurp.
I am ridicuously happy about this. i know this should be on an entirely different thread.
I wonder if it will change my church-going self tomorrow? "Please, God, let me have the entire season of "Lost" before next week.and, um, all of those people with the Katrina thing, and Darfur.And Beth's shoulder."
OK- I'm going to get "Lost" right now.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 10 September 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

I'm so glad it's you and not that person who posted the beaver shot on the "thread killer" thread.
You are so lucky!!!!!! (oops, I mistakenly wrote "Licky." That might have attracted the beaver-shot person). You have to CRAM IT ALL IN (oh, god, now we're really in for it!) before the 21st. I'm going to be in Vermont at my sister's cabin. I hope she gets ABC. If not we'll have to go to my Aunt Peggy's house and explain our shameful addiction.
How long does it take the moderators to get wind of these porno-pic things? Does someone have to tell them? TEACHER!!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 10 September 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Big news to share here...I caught Kevin LURKING on ILX. He has been very disdainful of this whole thing for two years.
Also, he is watching LOST for the very first time. It's a pretty exciting weekend here, considering that we were in a fight this morning.
He was LURKING on the Phil Hartman thread....and chuckling...and I caught him!
He said "But I'm not posting!" Yes, dear. We all have to start somewhere.
He almost posted to the "lost" thread, but he got lost reading it.
This was between episodes -we're going to episode four now...I keep hitting him when something good is about to happen. He can't see the monster either.
Sayeed...yummy...I forgot that I was in love with him.
I might force Kevin to post something. Or should I send him straight to ILM? He'd be happy there.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 10 September 2005 23:59 (twenty years ago)

test

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

i do not lurk

― kpcollins (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

There he is, live and in person! He did some funny business over at ILM as well.
He may never come back, but that's fine since this thread is only for me and Beth. And Maria to read and help out every now and then.
We have been entirely abandoned by the ILX community-i feel a little bit hurt, since Ned Raggamuffin posts to every other thread. You'd think he would have the decency to stop by and say hello.
Another party broke out yesterday-I smoked some stuff that made me woozy,talked to my mom late at night after her police dealings,completely out of my head...my mom is usually in bed by 8:30, so it was a surprise phone call for me. She was probably surprised by her daughter having a very limited use of language. I think I said HUH? afew,several times while I tried to listen and not be distracted by the beauty of the sky...in my apartment.
The ceiling.
I'm sure all will be forgiven when I go to church with her tomorrow.
"I pray for the forgiveness of my sins, for Beth's shoulder to heal, for all of those who are suffering from the catastrophe known as Katrina, for four more episodes of Lost,for the people in Darfur, for this service to end quickly so I can get back to ILE...".
I'm going straight to hell for admitting this.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 01:55 (twenty years ago)

Uh-Oh. Kevin has started his own thread.And he got a "Bravo" for one of his first posts.(Over there on ILM).
This is both good and bad. Now he understands how crazy and addictive this, um, thing is. But now we're lurking over each other to see who gets the computer for five minutes.
We're being very polite about it- like careful parenting language. "I need to be here for five more minutes-I understand that you want to be here, but you need to respect my need to be here." And then there's my trump card...."I have been here for a long time, sweetheart, so I get to be here before you!"
I want him to grow and change in the posting aspect of his life- but I feel a bit defensive about it.
It's MINE! All MINE! You can't have it!
No, really, it's ok.it's probably good that I sent him to ILM right away. He can out-obscure with music references with the best of them.
The greatest thing, however, is that...not only did he not have to register, but he's finally reclimed his identity as kpcollins.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

I started lurking because I was jealous of the time Scott spent on ILM/ILE. Then I got hooked. Sometimes he will see I'm posting a lot while he's watching the kids and I get busted. He posts "I thought you were WORKING!" Mostly we tend to hang out in different areas. You'll find that you and Kevin can have your own space. But it's good to have two computers.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 11 September 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

HELLO KEVIN!!!!!!!!
I do love it when we have visitors. After all, we have so much pudding!!!!
I was a total failure at going out last night. We ate at the Slice of Life and then took a nice walk, window-shopping, enjoying the mellower September nightlife. There's a tourist bar on the harbor called The Sand Bar that has sand all over the floor and a boardwalk in the traffic areas! Somehow that made me happy. But the back at the alehouse there was no booth available and everywhere I stood I was in the waitresses' way and my lack of nap caught up with me and I started to feel like I was going to crumple. It was 10:30 and the music hadn't started. Donald was in manic-socializing mode, ignoring me. We'd get a couple of chairs but then he'd run off to talk to someone and his chair would be taken. I didn't have the energy to save his fucking chair, and I wasn't getting the solicitude my pathetic self felt I needed, so I left. We had a mini fight, made up. I was up reading until 4:30. Jean Echenoz's "I'm Gone." I'm enjoying it, even though it has meta moments that ordinarily would irritate me, like the author expressing boredom with one of the characters. It's a kicky little book.
http://www.thenewpress.com/books/imgone.htm
Now, probably because of all the reading in bed, my shoulder is slightly backslid and I'm being careful.
But the world is an invalid's oyster!!!! Not only the regular Times puzzle but a SPLIT DECISION puzzle as well! My favorite!!!! And, purchased this morning from the Bunch of Grapes, The Best American Sex Writing!!!! AND I rented three movies!!!!
The Curse
The Village
Van Helsing
!!!!!!
AND I HAVE TWO KINDS OF KOZY SHACK PUDDING!!!!
WHERE DO I START?
I should probably wait on the sex writing anthology, unless I can hire a page-turner.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 11 September 2005 18:05 (twenty years ago)

let me get this straight-a puzzle, an anthology, three movies and pudding? That sounds like a Super Sunday.
I agree, Maria, with your very patient take on things. We're still in the first part of this...I should just let him post without me lurking over his shoulder.
We went out for lunch together and basically talked about, um, our relationship and ILE/ILM.
it was meta. I think.
I'm going to be generous and let him say hello here, and then go to his ILM world.
I am ALLOWING him to do this.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

hello everyone, how are you?
i think if Alison wasn't standing over my shoulder prompting me i would type funnier. now will she ever let me go back to ILM?

― kpcollins (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

>>-

― kpcollins (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

oops >>-

― kpcollins (aimurchie), Sunday, 11 September 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

I thought about going out last night to see Buckner, but I fell asleep for the night (if you can call 3-hour stretches between feedings "night") at 8:30 p.m.

Hi Kevin!

Kozyshack mmmmm.

Sorry bout your mom's car.

My in-laws are visiting. We might even go out tomorrow night and have them babysit.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 12 September 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

Van Helsing!! So good, so bad, so sad.
To bed!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 12 September 2005 02:51 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure I gave Kevin permission to just post random upper keyboard things.
he has registered now- as kpcollins(aimurchie@yahoo.com). That should be confusing if we ever go to the same thread.
My moms car is actually ok-considering what happened.It's totalled, according to the insurance company part, but actually still driveable.According to me. It's just a little bit smushed.
I love that car. I wish it could tell us the story of what happened. Well, anyway, my mom was very concerned about her cane, which was in the trunk. She got that back.The car thieves hotwired it, so the ignition is still intact.It's way better than it might have been. The Honda still looks better than my rusty bucket, which has not been driven into a tree.Yet.
kevin and I have been "Lost" for much of the weekend. (I'm now realizing that I saw way more episodes than I remember seeing.)So we watch an episode, race towards the computer to see who is on ILE/ILM, pushing and shoving each other out of the way, smoke some cigs, watch another episode, and...
repeat cycle endlessly.
Two computers would probably help. We have seven computers, but only one that is fully functional and online. The G3 and the IMac are just sitting around at this point.Don't ask me why.
I start school tomorrow. Crazy! I'm probably going to skip my first class-it's almost traditional at this point.
I like to start making excuses before the semester even begins.it's like training for a team sport-except there's no team and no sport. it's just me, starting to run the mental laps of "How can I get a good grade and avoid actually attending class?".How can I put off the inevitable? How can I further procrastinate?
I have a big work week-which shall be, how do you say, exhausting. I spent the weekend watching "Lost" instead of, I don't know, getting a trapper keeper and some fucking pens.
I should probably try to get some sleep-now THERE'S a good idea.


― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 12 September 2005 03:28 (twenty years ago)

I want a hot-wired cane! I should go to sleep, too. Tomorrow's a big day: Rufus will start wearing big-boy underwear. My in-laws are here and my dad is showing up with German friends (remember the lady who didn't want to sleep at Mudhole?). I can't wait for new Lost episodes. I'd rather be a contestant on Lost than on Survivor, but I don't think it's in the cards for me. Oh well. Once you've overdone your ILX addiction, try myspace.com Even more addictive, I find. Oh, baby hungry again.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 12 September 2005 03:38 (twenty years ago)

Not fair, Maria. I was going to go to sleep, and just hit the refresh option out of habit.
Big boy underpants! Davio! In-laws! Germans!
I do not want to go to Muddyhole!
I keep on forgetting that you have a baby. You seem so normal.
I got a very nice picture from Maura of Moses and Custer. Does that sentence make sense? Maura sent me a nice picture of her son, Moses, with Custer.maybe there were too many MM's in the first sentence. Or prepositions, or something.Hotwired canes.
Yeah, sleep.
Moses and Custer. Beautiful boys...but, um, is the name part a little bit startling?
Ok, I REALLY have to go to sleep now.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 12 September 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

I want a hot-wired cane!
I just HURT myself laughing at that because I had read it the same way! I thought, "now why would the thieves do THAT???" I can't laugh too hard before the ibuprofen kicks in.
DONALD THE LURKER HAS POSTED!!!!! Kevin's emergence from the fog of lurkdom must have spurred him on. He posted on the Kinkade thread, starting right in with a grammatical faux-pas. (me and Beth). I've given up on him. There's only so many times I can tell him, it's like opening a door—you let the other people go first!!! It's a passive-aggressive error. That Donald. Only thinks about himself.
Ah well.
The Kinkade thread is hopping with horrified art purists. I was raised by one, so rocking the boat is gonna be fun!
The Custer Name Problem continues to trouble me. Someday he'll change his name, don't you think? Moses doesn't bother me. Lots of precedent, and a better namesake altogether. Just as long as he doesn't grow up to be one of those guys who wants to install marble plaques of the Ten Commandments in the city hall. Whatever happened to that case? In Georgia?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 13 September 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

OH!! I forgot to give you my invalid movie update.
COMPLETED:The Village.
Enjoyed thoroughly, you see, because my standards are so INCREDIBLY LOW!!!!
Also, Chris came over with a DVD from the first season of ENTOURAGE. We watched it all, the first 4 episodes. FUCKING AWESOME!!!! There are about 5 or 6 more discs. We're salivating in anticipation. Winter is almost here! FUCK THE OUTDOORS!!!!
You guys would love it. You've probably seen it all. I'm a little behind in TV world.
Did you check out the new girl who's being groomed tp be Jennifer/Sydney's replacement on Alias? She's a MAXIM girl. Hmmm. Just as well. They couldn't possibly find one as corn-fed and wholesome as J-Gar.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 13 September 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

That's the new Alias girl, Rachel Nichols.

Thursday, September 29 at 8/7c
Prophet Five

In the season premiere episode, after learning that the man she has known as Michael Vaughn is under investigation and suspected of being a double agent, Sydney begins to question whether their business and personal relationship over the years had all been a lie. When she discovers that she's pregnant with Vaughn's baby, she becomes determined to uncover the truth about him. Meanwhile, because of Jack's past betrayal by Irina, he begins to worry that his daughter may suffer the same fate that he did.

This season, new agents will be introduced and a nefarious organization will come to light in Sydney's life as she fights to protect her unborn child -- all the while traveling incognito, outsmarting the bad guys and keeping the world safe.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 13 September 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm glad it's so fun to LAUGH at me. But i will admit it's not exactly the most succint sentence I ever came up with in my life.
Everything was great today, and then it sucked again.
The U.S. Department of Education.
I could write a book about it.
Thus the creative writing class?
I really liked "The Village". I think it's ok to like things for your own reasons- including high levels of ibuprofren - unless you feel like being a film critic.
Especially if the criticized film tells a story that makes sense to YOU!
Timothy McVeigh, who was decorated as a hero after the first Gulf War, watched Red Dawn obsessively.I don't think that made him blow up a building, and he joined the military after the films release-but it told him a story that he wanted to believe.
Well, i can't make this into the sympathy for the terrorists thread.
I really liked "Big Fish", which was roundly criticized. I also like costume dramas, where everyone has to sip tea and basically freak out under there ruffles.
I may not know what Im talking about, but I know what I'm talking about.

I think.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

The U.S Department of Education. Is going. To make. Me Into A. Terrorist.
Luckily, I keep every single piece of paper I receive from them, and make copies of every check I write to them, and write down the names of every single person I talk to when I talk to them.
My loans got sold to good ole Sallie Mae, with somewhat better rates. But Ed (that's what they call themselves) kept billing me. Three phone calls later, I find out...
it's too complicated to explain. My financial aid was almost cancelled yesterday, due to their fucking ineptness, not mine. I was very lucky to have every single piece of paper in front of me to argue my point. My point being that I have triple checked with them about what's happening with the loans.
I've called JUST TO MAKE SURE that what appears on paper in front of my own eyes says EXACTLY what I think it says.
And it's no fun to call...you basically need to pack a picnic lunch, cause you'll probably get hungry during the time you are waiting for someone to actually TALK to you.
I'm going to let it go today, and then call again Friday to quadruple check what I double checked two weeks ago, just to make sure the information is being processed.
What comes after quadruple checking? Quintuple checking? Is that the word?
I'm having a bumpy week so far- too much red tape, too much WORK as well.
Because I withdrew from school last year (due to the Dept. of Ed.), my passwords to all UMASS accounts got cancelled.But not my student id #. So I appear as a registered student, but I can't access anything online. So I can't access my online courses. I went yesterday and had the Office of Information Technology reset the passwords- now I can access umail, but nothing else.
I have emailed both of the online Profs., from my regular email, explaining the situation. Damage control!
My umail account has, like, 75 messages, only two of which are relevant to my classes. But I feel like I have to spend an hour or so cleaning it out-some of the messages might be important, and I'm nothing if not careful at this point.
A lot of it looks like college-type spam. Which is bothersome. Is there no sanctity in this world!?!
So- off to work today, and I'm leaving early from work to go to OIT and get the password/access thing figured out.
UMASS has 30,000 students, and the campus is a small city.And you can't park anywhere without a permit, which I don't need this term, so don't have. It's a big process getting to OIT.
Seventeen steps to get to the thing that you need.
If I don't write a manual about dealing with "ED.", or a book about being a "non-traditional student", perhaps I can write a novel about an epic quest for something that seems, at first, out of reach, but then is in the hero's grasp, but then slips from the hero;s fingers, but then , after awhile, is back in the hero's grasp....and use parking as my over-riding metaphor.
"She circled the parking lot, hoping some other car would pull out and allow her to park. But who are these "other" cars? Perhaps they were put here on purpose, to STOP her from her quest."
Off to work, then OIT, then straight to my online classes. Hopefully.
Thanks for listening.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 11:10 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, but that novel sounds boring. Maybe set it in the future and park hovercraft instead of cars.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

That novel may be boring, but it would pobably be better than "CURSED," a truly bad werewolf movie. And that coming from me, she of the lowest expectations.
I think I got horror schlock out of my system for a while. Until the next full moon, or the next rotary-cuff injury. I still picture my rotary cuff as looking like one of those decorative paper things they put around turkey drumsticks.
God, Alison, the red-tape woes—how grueling! Reminds me of the bad old days when I was on AFDC (aid for families with dependent children) in San Francisco. So many of the people in the offices seemed to be full of suppressed rage. They'd make you jump through endless hoops, wait in endless lines. It was in one of those lines that a man told me of killing his mother's boyfriend, the second time in my life that a stranger has confessed murder to me. The first one was a guy in a bar in DC. He told me he had killed someone drunk driving and avoided punishment because of diplomatic immunity. I forget where he was from, because it wasn't a great pick-up line. I sidled away.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Sidling is best done in bars.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

CUTE MUSIC GEEKS...................SIDLE UP TO
MURDERERS..............................SIDLE AWAY FROM

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

I have to say that Beth, you are my new favorite poster. You had me at 'I'm not afraid of some dead lady's crotch sand', and won my heart completely by being an amidextrous alcoholic. Peas in a pod, you and I.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

except I can't spell today. AmBidextrous.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Why thank you, Luna! I am glad to be your favorite poster-girl!
Unfortunately, someone in the home office doesn't think so, as my name has been obliterated from the user list! I know I'll never catch up to JAYMC, who must be under house arrest, but I want to see where I stand. Suddenly I stand NOWHERE!!! I have no existence here!
Oh foiled fame!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 14 September 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

Just dragging the thread back out of the basement. Someone's an enthusiastic housekeeper. Wish they'd come to MY house. Since I hurt my shoulder things have gone to rack and ruin. I really should tear myself away from the keyboard.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 15 September 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm leaving the island for the first time since early spring. I've packed my ill-fitting etc. Shall bring laptop (you didn't think I'd unhook from the MATRIX, did you?).

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 16 September 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

We'll miss you, Pudding Queen! I hope your sister's place is a kozy shack.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 16 September 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

Oh it is! I'm here! I have to run, we're having dinner at my aunt's and we're late, true to form.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 16 September 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

My online courses make me post to threads. Every day. So goodbye, farewell, aufweidershein adieu.
Farewell. Also- we're going to cable, so the email is going to change.
You can reach me, for the next year or so, at amurchie@student.umass.edu.
Goodbye!!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 17 September 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

Beth - Ya, I too am a cult Beth fan. It's that kindrid thing I feel when I read your posts. I am invading your own thread here, yours and aimurchie's anyway, but I invade nonetheless. Luna is also a fave, and she's in my zipcode too methinks. I make pudding references to people who haven't the foggiest notion of what I speak of, and I wander off chuckling to myself so everyone thinks I am a lunatic. (which of course I am) I think you're like the mother nature character of ILX and we definitely need you and more like you here. Yay, Beth!

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Saturday, 17 September 2005 03:58 (twenty years ago)

yes,yes, yes-she's a national treasure. You should suscribe to her zine. Throw money at her, she likes it.
Oh, I forgot that I'm not posting anymore.
Note to The Donald: I went to the English department and fell into a trance. Found the office of James Tate - all the doors were closed. But I read everything in the hallway.
The parking meter ticking away tore me from the place that I need to be.
But I'm not posting here anymore!
I have to read "Heart of Darkness" and "Things Fall Apart" and write an eensie weensie paper. It's good when you can just pull the texts off of the shelf, y'know?
Oh - I'm all done here, goodbye and so long.
Beth Parker is a Queen - not only of pudding, but of wit and words. She constantly amazes us all.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 17 September 2005 06:24 (twenty years ago)

Now I know you're a true ILXor, Alison. At some point, they always publicly proclaim that they are taking their leave. They all come back. THEY ALL COME BACK.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Saturday, 17 September 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

Heh heh heh.
Thank you all for your praise. I am blushing. Wiggy, do drop by anytime! There's no such time as a "private thread" is there? There are inscrutable ones, that's for sure. Some of these people communicate like those identical twins who invent their own language. I keep having to google weird internet-nerd (internerd?) terminology.
I now have to drag the PUDDING thread out of the basement because I finally sampled BUBBLE TEA!!!! At the Brattleboro farmer's market!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 17 September 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

Did you love it, Your Majesty?

― estela (estela), Saturday, 17 September 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

Indeed I did!!!! I was very cautious not to suck too hard and thus aspirate a tapioca-ball, though it might have been a fitting way to go.
It's a meal in a glass, or in a mason jar if you're in the wholesome state of VT. (So wholesome that they served the tea unsweetened. I had to add honey). I strolled the farmer's market in a state of amused bliss, at one with the entire cassava-subsisting world community. Manioc maniacs unite!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 18 September 2005 18:23 (twenty years ago)

There's no such time as a "private thread" is there?
No such THING. Wotta dunce.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 18 September 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

I bought another suit from the thrift shop (no foam to finger on this one) after I lost the strap to the suit I bought earlier. I signed Rufus up for Saturday morning lessons at the health club (saw Donald's sister there with her daughter) and I'll need to get in the pool with him. I think those swim teachers realistically view it more as parents' lessons - i.e. teaching parents to not transfer their water fear to their kids - rather than kids lessons. Rufus is more or less potty trained now. I hope he doesn't defecate in the pool.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

I remember taking a shit in the ocean when I was a kid. Then I had to swim away FAST when it bobbed to the surface. A couple of us were egging each other on. Do all island kids do this or was I a problem child? Hey, I had to see what would happen! A scientist from an early age.
And the tradition continues. One of my boys (I'm not going to name names) and a friend when they were about 10 or 12, took dumps out of our attic window. Donald and I were downstairs having cocktails, wondering what was falling past the window.
We made them pitch the turds into the woods with shovels. All of us were weeping with laughter. Whatever made me think I was mature enough to bring up kids?
Then there was the time they grew pot plants in the attic and fertilized them with their own shit. Not effective.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Pthwip!

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

So I actually went bathing suit shopping today because the thrift shop jobby had been dumped there for a reason. Elastic of the straps so worn out that I would have surely flashed my mammaries at the other mommies and daddies at swimming lessons. I don't care if little kids see my boobs. Anywho, I got a new blue one at Br1ckmans that makes my chubby belly look like a beach ball. It is not ill-fitting. I think I've finally stopped buying clothes in a size I can no longer wear.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

Hey Beth, I posted to the pudding thread earlier after I read that...that...you sampled that STUFF. Is it really big brown tapioca balls? I just can't get my head around the idea that those rabbit turds are my beloved tapioca pudding base. Eeeewww. Did you like it? Could you sample it after looking at it? double Eeeeew.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

I did it! Wiggy, you need to do it too. Inure yourself. Then you can go onto Fear Factor and eat wriggling palm grubs.
Maria, did you buy the navy speedo? I CRIED after trying that on. That was so traumatic. The crisscross straps bit into my flesh. Very bad. I gotta go to the pudding thread now, QUICK before LOST!!!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 23:26 (twenty years ago)

It's not navy, it's aquamarine. And yes, the criss cross straps sculpt my back fat. But it was the cheapest and actually for me most comfortable.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

I just don't know if I am up for the bubble tea. I might prefer the palmetto bugs - but only if I culd dip them into chocolate first.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Thursday, 22 September 2005 00:48 (twenty years ago)

After all these chocolate grubs and bubbles we are all going to be so ravishing in our ill-fitting strapwear.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 22 September 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

THis thread was cozying up to the "women have become sausage-shaped" thread. I hate to split them up by doing this. Let's see if they can find each other again. Do threads have a soul?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 22 September 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

Oh! It is IFBS weather, on the first of October! So wrong, SO WRONG, SO UNFUCKINGWHOLESOME, to be at the computer. I'm tearing myself away, but I'll be back.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 October 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

See! I'm back!
When we were at the Cozy Shack in Vermont my sister and I went looking for little red efts, the cute salamander guys. The first rotten log I rolled over, there one was! A yellow one! And then two brown ones in the lake, swimming amid the minnows, mocking them for their unevolved leglessness. AND THEN, I picked up a flat rock at the lake's edge and there it was! A perfect little orange salamander!
Why am I telling you (whoever you are, maybe nobody) this?
Because even if you think that spending all your time online makes you like a salamander living under a rock, you shouldn't worry. BECAUSE SALAMANDERS WHO LIVE UNDER ROCKS RULE!!!!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 October 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

My great-aunt and uncle owned a lodge in vermont when i was a kid, and i loved catching salamanders in the lake there.

the new issue of the magazine is great, beth. you outdo yourself every time. so, i will see you guys tonight, no? are you really bringing cake? pudding-cake? actually, i don't know how i feel about pudding-cake.

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

welcome back beth! glad you had fun in VT.
What magazine?!?!
Scott, pudding cake is the bomb you will luv it.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

Martha's Minions, a subversive magazine for the downtrodden of our island paradise.
We will be there, Scott!!!!! We'll come opvcer asfter dins Whoa, awesome typo, over after dins, with some sort of delectable pudding-cake hybrid. Don't be scared!
I love how the bathing suit thread has merged with the pudding thread. The Lost thread also veered into puddingness, too.


― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 October 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

Alison was lurking here. She told me. HI ALISON!!!!!!! WE MISS YOU!!!!
But get back to your homework! Strap yourself to the mast!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

Who amongst you wants to take my online "Nutrition" (science requirement) exam for me. I'm offering money, food, and a new bathing suit to the first taker.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

is it OK to take "Nutrition" (science requirement)online and smoke cigarettes and drink chardonay while analyzing the kcalories of the bolus that becomes chyme? What is the carbohydrate value of, say, a magnum of wine?
Little did I know that we have three sphincters. It's a sphincter trinity! I'm finding religion in my digestive system!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 00:45 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...
Bathing suit bump. Literally.

I got a BRAND NEW bathing suit from LL Bean, red company, sorry, but they were cheaper than the rest. It's a pair of shorts and a tank-top, basically, made out of quik-dri stuff. Very comfy and has pockets! And seems to fit well, until I dive into the water, whereupon the shorts instantly inflate into voluminous bloomers, floating on the surface like I have twin Portuguese Man-O'-Wars strapped to my butt.

Oh well.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 15 April 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

You must never, ever swim in a bathing suit. They are for bathing in only.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 15 April 2006 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

The ultimate, okay, swimming costume folly of my recent Florida vacation was when we took a ferry to spend the day on Cayo Costa, a boat-access-only key. Guess what I forgot? Boat-access-only notwithstanding, it was a long haul to get to an unpeopled stretch of beach so that no one's retinas would be burned by the sight of me frolicking naked in the Gulf of Mexico. Most of the ferry passengers were lazy or had lots of stuff, so they just plunked down at the end of the path, but some of those middle-aged shell collector ladies (of which I am one, I confess) will go for miles! Finally we crossed a cut where a lagoon emptied into the Gulf. The current was strong, and chest-deep, so that weeded out most of the people.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 16 April 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

So, Beth, just how ill-fitting was this swimming costume of yours, and did it make your butt look all ballooned out (quite unjustly, it goes without saying)?

― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 16 April 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

this feels like the sort of thread that alba should be on

― charltonlido (gareth), Sunday, 16 April 2006 20:05 (nineteen years ago)

I didn't get that good of a visual, but it felt, as I was frantically swatting myself to correct the situation, like some sort of flotation device, the kind that insures that you'll be found drowned, butt-up, in the shipping lane.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 16 April 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

i really don't like it when my bathing suit is ill-fitted because it makes my body look unappealing when i am visiting the beach area and also i might have to go to the store to purchase a better-fitting bathing suit for my body which costs money and time

― ath (ath), Sunday, 16 April 2006 20:34 (nineteen years ago)

Hell is a beach with mirrors.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 17 April 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...
I haven't been to the beach yet this summer, but TODAY we're going to a new Land Bank beach (across from Abel's Hill, you Vineyarders). You have to bring a kayak and cross Chilmark Pond to get there, so that'll weed out most of the people(?) this island is suddenly thronging with. Also the Portugeuse Man-O-War invasion will weed some out. Six people to the ER yesterday, and they closed Lucy Vincent Beach.
I hope I don't get any tentacles inside my ill-fitting suit.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 July 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

Which I am wearing AS I TYPE THIS!!!!!!
Okay, out the door.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 July 2006 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

Be careful out there! I was kinda wondering how crazy it would be at the hospital tonight. Sounds like it might get messy. They only really call me to the ER if there is a lot of blood spilled though. Are Man-O-War wounds particularly gruesome?

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 1 July 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

I have no idea! I think they're just wicked stings. The casualty count is up to TEN people! A bloodbath! Or welt-fest.

This from interweb: Stinging, burning, redness, swelling of lymph nodes. Long welt lines. Severe reactions: difficulty with breathing and cardiac arrest.

Egad!

We didn't see any. It wasn't hot enough for me to go in, anyway. Windy. I had to cocoon myself in the bedspread we brought to lie on. Pathetic.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 July 2006 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 July 2006 22:12 (nineteen years ago)

There was beautiful kayaking, though. A long water avenue between the tall reeds, linking two parts of the pond. Very African Queen. Big clumps of mallow too. It'll be incredible when they bloom. I know it's too wholesome and outdoorsy for you, Scott, but maybe we can drag Maria and Rufus along with us (or any ILXors in the neighborhood!). We're going to get a two-person kayak. We've been borrowing one and it's way too heavy. Getting it up on the roof-rack is a bear.
Anyone know kayaks? I think I'll just google "lightest kayak." I wonder if you lose maneuverability as you lose poundage. This one does stay its course nicely. Maybe that's a function of weighing TWO TONS.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 July 2006 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

Hey Scott—were there any man-o-war victims infarcting in the halls during your shift?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 2 July 2006 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

so busy this weekend. it was crazy. tonight was the hardest i've ever worked at the hospital. i'm afraid that "holiday weekend" will mean "full hospital" to me from now on. i had to deal with my first body there today. it was okay. sad though. a doctor was nice enough to help me clean up. it was very messy. an anti-moped sticker goes on the car tomorrow. hope you had a nice one, Beth!

― scott seward (scott seward), Monday, 3 July 2006 02:19 (nineteen years ago)

Oh lordy. Was that the cause of the Edgartown Road jam-up? There are SO many bikes and mopeds on the road, and drivers are so aggressive and pissed, I'm not surprised this happened. When are they going to ban these things! The roads are too narrow and twisty.

Another freezing day at the beach. By the time we finally got there the fog had rolled in. My numb fingertips could barely turn my book pages.

Now we're bound for my MIL's for steamers on the back porch.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

Hope you don't have bad dreams. We have to get you together with one of the people coming to stay in the Middle Road house in August. She worked in a hospital for years, certifying deaths. At first she had nightmares, but then it became routine. Nevertheless, she doesn't do it anymore.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

So apparently she lost control on a straightaway and hit a phone pole. Nothing to do with cars at all. Weird.
I'm taking the issue to the printer. Last fall's issue. A little late. I blame ilx.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Just finished my Thursday MV Times ritual reading - Scott, how horrible. Nothing much to say, except, yes ban mopeds. Even the guy that owns the moped rental place seems to be for banning mopeds!

Beth, plastic tandem kayaks RULE! We have an unwieldy, heavy canoe, and our neighbors have the aforementioned. We borrow it.
You literally toss it onto the car, toss it into the water, and off you go! It handles well in the Connecticut river; don't know what it would be like in the ocean.
The neighbors took the kayak to a nearby "launching area", called the ox-bow, and went kayaking. When they returned, they were berated by a park ranger/environmental cop for NOT HAVING A TOW VEHICLE !!!!
Apparently, only people towing large motor boats and jet skis are allowed to launch from this particular area.
The rangercop said he would ticket them if they did it again.
I really don't have to explain the absurdity of this...but it is mind boggling!
I might have to stage a kayak/canoe protest of some sort - in ill fitting bathing suits, of course. Ill fitting to the point of being NAKED!
But the water, due to all of the motor vehicles, is really oily at that launch, so I'd be afraid to end up like one of those Exxon-Valdez shore birds.
Anyway - yes to plastic tandem kayaks, especially if you're lazy and like to let your partner paddle while you bask with a beverage and enjoy natures serene majesty.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Thursday, 6 July 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

i went out on a ptk this weekend. it was great, but neither of us knew how to steer. we were laughed at by more skilled kayakers as we floated around and almost ran into things. that was our fault, though. the kayak itself was ace.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 July 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

Now we are leaning more toward two single-occupant sea kayaks. They'd be so much lighter, we could go out in the open water, and with two of them we could have races!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 7 July 2006 01:12 (nineteen years ago)

Although it seems impossible, the forecast for Saturday is SUN AND HEAT.
Maria, how about a pre-Bob Lee beach day! Can Cyrus nap under a beach umbrella? Would Rufus be traumatized by the naturists?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 13 July 2006 20:05 (nineteen years ago)

what the hell?

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Friday, 14 July 2006 00:38 (nineteen years ago)

Beth, YES.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 14 July 2006 01:52 (nineteen years ago)

I just realised that yes could be confusing. To clarify, Rufus often likes to say, "When I'm a grown-up, I'll be naked all day long." Also in his imaginings of grown-uphood, he'll get to play with my computer all he wants and sit in the driver's seat but we'll all still live in our tiny house.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Friday, 14 July 2006 01:55 (nineteen years ago)

That's sort of how we're living, now that Nigel is home for the summer. He stays on the computer for hours, engrossed in Fantasy Football, Baseball, whatever, plus MySpace, where his page is a mother's NIGHTMARE.
I'm so bummed that I have to work today. But landscaping is leveling off to just watering and tweaking, so if there's work I cannot shirk!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 14 July 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

This is not an ill-fitting bathing suit.

http://newyorkmetro.com/guides/summer/woodyscarlett060626_225.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Friday, 14 July 2006 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

Well, HIS could use a little taking-in. Maybe a dart.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 14 July 2006 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

TODAY IS THE DAY. OH YES.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 15 July 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

The sun was warm, the surf was frothy, and the cheese did not fall in the sand!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 15 July 2006 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

It was lovely. Thank you and your beach sticker. I wish living in Oak Bluffs came with some kind of pass to a beautiful place. The PA Club doesn't qualify.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Saturday, 15 July 2006 23:58 (nineteen years ago)

I rushed to get a bathing suit before going on vacation in CA but didn't go swimming or to the beach at all. What a dud. Where does one go on the East Coast?

― youn (youn), Sunday, 16 July 2006 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

we went to rockaway today (rockaway beach and riis park), but it's kind of skanky. next week it's probably going to be robert moses.

― lauren (laurenp), Sunday, 16 July 2006 00:03 (nineteen years ago)

Youn, the East Coast is a big place. Where are you?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:06 (nineteen years ago)

in CT but willing to travel

― youn (youn), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.visitconnecticut.com/current_category.1475/companies_list.html

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:30 (nineteen years ago)

the state park beach in milford is pretty cool. but if you are willing to hit the road, then i would head to watch hill or misquamicut in rhode island.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:33 (nineteen years ago)

i grew up in brookfield, connecticut. we had a very large man-made lake to swim in in the summer. you had to watch out for the muskrats though. they bite! it has ghost farms and cemeteries at the bottom of it. here is its history!:

http://www.candlewoodlake.com/history.html

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:42 (nineteen years ago)

thanks, scott! those photos are nice.

― youn (youn), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:53 (nineteen years ago)

Fabulous beach day yesterday, complete with middle-aged nude lady bleating "Help! Help!" from the water, causing about six (also nude) sunbathers and two beach guards to gallop into the surf to save her, only to discover, when she stood up, that she was in TWO FEET OF WATER. She must have been having some kind of panic attack. A beach guard walked ashore with her, then she got dressed and left. Mortified, no doubt.
I'm just glad this didn't turn out to be something Scott would have to clean up.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

I thought I'd revive my own thread, egotist that I am, because the thing I am going to bring up is so revolting, I didn't want to sully the hottness-oriented thread.

Cancerously overtanned, usually obese nudist women with shaved pubes.

I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY.

Every other woman on the clothing-optional end of the beach has a preschooler's crotch. Ech. I AM SICK OF YOUR LABIA, BITCH!

Like a train wreck, the belly-overhung cameltoe draws the horrified eye.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

The illest-fitting suit would be preferable.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 13:50 (eighteen years ago)

hahahahahahaha

― Surmounter, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 13:51 (eighteen years ago)

Like a train wreck, the belly-overhung cameltoe draws the horrified eye.
Like a train wreck, the belly-overhung cameltoe draws the horrified eye.
Like a train wreck, the belly-overhung cameltoe draws the horrified eye.
Like a train wreck, the belly-overhung cameltoe draws the horrified eye.
Like a train wreck, the belly-overhung cameltoe draws the horrified eye.

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 13:58 (eighteen years ago)

That's a Godspeed You Black Emperor track, isn't it?

― StanM, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 14:44 (eighteen years ago)

Went to the beach yesterday. A lovely day, though we had to move camp once because of a loudmouth who sat right next to us.

I have yet another complaint about the physical aspect of my fellow aging-nudist ladies. BAD POSTURE. Rounded shoulders, slumpy stance with poked-out belly. Were these women never made to walk the school halls with a stack of books on their heads, as I was? Were they trying to hide their tits? Did they affect a beatnik slouch and got stuck that way?

I want to kick them in the pants, but they aren't wearing any.

― Beth Parker, Monday, 30 July 2007 13:26 (eighteen years ago)

Well, it could mean they are ashamed of their (ahum) sagging tits but don't realize if you're naked, you won't hide it but actually accentuate it. I had bad posture ESPECIALLY when my breasts were massive (well, massive to me anyway). Now that I am pregnant it's happening again: I slump. :-(

― nathalie, Monday, 30 July 2007 13:29 (eighteen years ago)

Get out that stack of books! Or anything! Now that you're going to have two kids, head-portage is a useful skill. It leaves your hands free to hold both kids' hands.

― Beth Parker, Monday, 30 July 2007 13:40 (eighteen years ago)

True so true. And I could also read more. Cause in a few months: no more time for reading uninterrupted nor watching Veronica Mars repeats. :-)

― nathalie, Monday, 30 July 2007 13:54 (eighteen years ago)

Naww, you'll have a placid newborn who will sleep in the crook of your elbow through endless episodes of Veronica.

― Beth Parker, Monday, 30 July 2007 14:05 (eighteen years ago)

By the amount of kicking s/he does, no way is that baby gonna be placid/calm. :-)

― nathalie, Monday, 30 July 2007 14:14 (eighteen years ago)

this revive highlights the reasons why i would never set foot on a clothing-optional beach.

― lauren, Monday, 30 July 2007 14:25 (eighteen years ago)

Today's weird beach event: the unaccompanied girl lying on her towel several yards away from us starts to do push-ups, fucking hundreds of them, it seems. And then double leg-lifts.
Okay, you're awesome.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 5 August 2007 23:29 (eighteen years ago)

She was wearing a well-fitting brown bikini.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 5 August 2007 23:29 (eighteen years ago)

Reminds me of a time when I was at a concert in Austin with my gf, and her sister, whom I'd never met, was going to be joining us shortly. My gf gave me notice that her sister was kind of strange. Before long, the sister arrives and seems very nice, if a bit nervous or shy. Ten minutes later she (my gf's sister) in doing push-ups in a dark, dank corner of the venue (a fairly dank and seedy place). I ask my gf why this is happening and she says it's justr her sister's social anxiety disorder. u_u

― wanko ergo sum, Sunday, 5 August 2007 23:42 (eighteen years ago)

"Today's weird beach event: the unaccompanied girl lying on her towel several yards away from us starts to do push-ups, fucking hundreds of them, it seems."

naked!!?? okay, i might need to rethink this whole nude beach thing...

― scott seward, Sunday, 5 August 2007 23:46 (eighteen years ago)


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