Lol @ Ross Kemp

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will news international have to like, completely ignore this?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

LOLZER!!!!

― Frogm@n Henry, Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

LOL2005

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

ROFFL!!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Where was Steve McFadden when he was needed?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:56 (twenty years ago)

BILLY MITCHELL TO THREAD.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

LEAVE IT! It's faaaaaahmly.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Domestic violence is hilarious, obviously.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

"Rebekah" - that's so l33t and funneh!

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

i was waiting for a post like aldo's. come on it's fucking ROSS KEMP and the paediatrician-baiting REBEKAH WADE.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.guardian.co.uk/consumer/story/0,,1560403,00-
.html

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/480000/images/_480204_ross_kemp.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/840000/images/_841499_ross_kemp150.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

Keep 'em peeled.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000096KJM.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

i was waiting for a post like aldo's. come on it's fucking ROSS KEMP and the paediatrician-baiting REBEKAH WADE.

I keenly wait your impending "It's funny when porn stars get raped" thread.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

http://rafahpundits.com/pics/the%20sun.jpg

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

Precedent for this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40803000/jpg/_40803513_cindy_220.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

one for aldo

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

i dunno, it pretty much fits what i assumed their home life would be like.

can porn stars actually be raped? what would the soundtrack be like to that?

― d.arraghmac, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

Oh fuck off.

x-post to milton

Yes, as a former victim I have a problem with this, OK?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

I find Kemp very comical and all, and yeah this is kinda ironic - dontch'a think??!? /Alanis - but really I'm LOLling like a bastard at that piece of shit Wade.

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

What Aldo said (having worked, paid and voluntarily, for Victim Support). Yuck.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

the fact it's wade and kemp blinds me to all other considerations. it may as well be the thatchers.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:35 (twenty years ago)

can porn stars actually be raped? what would the soundtrack be like to that?

God, I do hope for your sake you're joking. Even though it's not funny, it's better than saying something that stupid.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

hey, dennis is a nice enough chap.

(xpost)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

Inasmuch as he's dead, yes.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

Apparently she's been released without charge. Standards of justice in this country are too soft. What about the victims, eh?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

Most likely because it was a woman assaulting a man, which haven't you heard just is not possible! I too am quite appalled that people find this amusing.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

is it really impossible to

a) revile domestic violence of all kinds and;
b) be quite pleased that Ms Wade battered Mr Kemp

at the same time?

surely it's not, in a world shorn of platonic ideals.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Most likely because it was a woman assaulting a man, which haven't you heard just is not possible! I too am quite appalled that people find this amusing.

Do you actually know who Rebekah Wade and Ross Kemp are?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

x post

Apparently Kantian imperatives are alive and kicking though.

Well, at least at the Kemp house.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

barbarian otm.

i mean, if george bush was being vicimised by his staff a la 'the servant', that would be funny also.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

Why should Kemp attract hatred? Bad actor and ITV stooge with horrible taste in partners yes, but is that enough to be reviled?

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

yes. also horrible taste in acting roles.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

she acted in the spirit of how she would have acted in the best of all possible worlds. she treated him as an end-in-himself and she kicked that end. she's fully exonerated in metaphysical terms at least.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

Most likely because it was a woman assaulting a man, which haven't you heard just is not possible!

I spent one of the most painful afternoons of my life arguing about this with a fucking Women's Aid worker, who kept trying to tell me that if a woman hits a man he must have done something to provoke her.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

Would people be laughing if it had been Kemp who had beaten Wade up? She seems more odious than him.

― JSL, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

yeah but sleb wankers like Wade and Kemp aren't 'real' people are they.

― 'ello mum, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

was wade somehow involved in that whole 'prince charles institutional weirdery rape cover-up' thing?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

I was just about to ask the same question. What if Paul Dacre had flatted Mrs Dacre? Condemnation and gloating, certainly, but not laughter.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Yes, but that would tip the scales rather wouldn't it?

xpost to 'JSL'

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

i really think that hijacking this perfectly amusing thread to emphasise, as if it were a revelation, that it is also bad when women hit men is just not on.

everyone knows it's bad when women hit men. i'm a man and i would really rather not be hit.

I don't think there's some great 'right' or 'truth' that needs recognising here.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

it is true that there's a double-standard and i will admit i wouldn't be lolling if kemp had hit wade.

xpost

wow barbarian otm TWICE now

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Domestic abuse directed by women towards men is something that it's easy to laugh at, because we either think it doesn't happen, or because we think men should be too tuff to let it happen. It's not funny.

However, under the circumstances, I can see the morbidly ironic side of Ross 'Ultimate Force' Kemp being bullied by Rebekah 'used the paper to campaign against domestic violence' Wade.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

An acquaintance of mine has an abusive partner (though she might have got better now, it was a wee while ago). It was really difficult when I worked with him. One time he came into work with his head completely covered in scratches, and we'd have to sypathise when he told us that a kitten had done it. Another time he 'fell off his bike'. He knew we all knew, and we knew he knew we knew. He was open about her mental illness, but didn't want to talk about the physical effects on him. It was pretty horrible.

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

xposts

this is because in most cases a man is more likely to do some serious damage to a woman than vice versa. obv there are a billion examples that could be used to counter this, but nevertheless true.

also, the specific example which we are talking about involves a large, musclebound man, frequently cast in tough guy roles, who one would not think could easily be harmed by ms wade. this is why this situation is specifically and particularly funny.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

But such attitudes only reinforce violence and discrimination against women. Complete dud IMO.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

but this was ross kemp. and rebekah wade.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

So if, say, Woody Allen punched Lucy Lawless in the mouth, that would be specifically and particularly funny also?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

i like woody allen (kind of) (and don't know who lucy lawless is), so no.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

no one's going to violently discriminate against women just cos becka hit ross.

speaking for the dominant sex as a whole, i can assure the sisterhood that we're not going to take out brother ross' trauma on you collectively.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

i think yall have cut to the real issue here- dom passantino is a man-hating feminist.

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

If Ross Kemp had assaulted Rebekah Wade this thread would be very different.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

xpost No but laughing at any domestic violence seems to legitimate it as a whole. Sorry, but just can't see the distinction some are trying to make.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

is this like when dan perry calling me "white boy" was the most racist hate crime in history

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

Ross say: GET ONE SENSE OF HUMOUR

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/840000/images/_841499_ross_kemp150.jpg

KEEP 'EM PEELED

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

dom passantino is a-hating

― lik, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

i mean i barely know this woman and i think i remember seeing dude on tv once but this shit is funny to me, most celebrities pain & suffering is funny and especially with tabloid smear journalists are involved

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

If Ross Kemp had assaulted Rebekah Wade this thread would be very different.
-- RickyT (boyofbadger...), November 3rd, 2005.

we have addressed this point.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

i think what folks are finding funny or "funny" or whathaveyou isn't necessarily the violence but the kind of irony that ross kemp with the hardman who beats up people image that he built up from eastenders should be one who is allegedly assulted.

it wouldn't have been as funny "funny" or whathaveyou the other way round or at least not in the same way, as his wife isn't casted as a hardman who beats up people on eastenders.

nor is this a general ha ha a man got beaten up how funny lollerz.

just saying.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

Can we have an enlightened debate on why Last of the Summer Wine promotes domestic violence now please?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

i guess the american version of this would be michelle malkin beating up lorenzo lamas or something

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

If Ross Kemp had beat himself up like Ed Norton in Fight Club, this thread would be very different. If Wade had beat herself up it would be different again. If the two of them teamed up and beat up a white boy dressed as Ben Wallace etc.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

xpost i think it can be "ha ha a man got beaten up how funny lollerz" too!

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

also gender substitutions are as stupid as racial substitutions

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

his wife isn't casted as a hardman who beats up people

ARE YOU SURE KEN?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

also that ULTIMATE FORCE video cover is great stuff

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

NOW CAN WE PLEASE GET ON WITH IDLE AND MALICIOUS SPECULATION AS TO WHAT SHE DID TO HIM?

My money's on either ashtray to the head or stiletto to the balls.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

it wouldn't have been as funny "funny" or whathaveyou the other way round or at least not in the same way, as his wife isn't casted as a hardman who beats up people on eastenders.

no, she is "cast as" someone who encourages the lynching of asylum seekers, dopers, bums, homos, darkies, paediatricians, etc.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

maybe she raped him

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

if the people involved are anyone who wasn't ross kemp and his wife (wife being quite often a vunerable group of people in eastenders) this thread would have been very different.

i mean, perhaps it'd be the same if say Steve McFadden got beaten up by some lackey chip shop owner, maybe.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

KEMP'S BALLS SERVED BY WADE SHOCKAH

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

for the record i was on the side of humorless assholes when it came to the john bobbitt story and "mans rights" in general but unless this dude is in the hospital right now this is just funny & embarrassing, its not like anybody is defending her

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

ken if you werent involved on threads they would be very different too

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

http://www.neatsolutions.com/images/Bulletin_Brds/different_good_poster.jpeg

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

you're grasping the concept of difference, well done!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

http://www.24selfvideo.gr/images/covers/large/1081954381.jpg

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

I kind of agree w/this:

However, under the circumstances, I can see the morbidly ironic side of Ross 'Ultimate Force' Kemp being bullied by Rebekah 'used the paper to campaign against domestic violence' Wade.

Wade is up there with Kelvin McKenzie and Piers Morgan as the worst that British tabloid newspapers have to offer. People who by their actions have actually made things worse in this country. I find it hard to feel any sense of common humanity with these people. I don't give a shit if they live or die, to be honest. Innocent people got fucked over and labeled paedophiles by the communities they lived in as a direct result of Wade's actions, and I think she should have served jail time for that. The history of british tabloid "journalism" post 1969 is a pretty sordid story, and that's one of the low points.

I know shit about Kemp, apart from him being a bad actor in a shit TV program.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

"A violent tour of the world's most notorious gangs Timed to coincide with the Sky One documentary series, this book sees Ross Kemp, star of ITV's Ultimate Force, travelling to encounter some of the most lethal gangs in the world today. Beginning in the brutal favelas of Rio de Janeiro, where, a stone's throw from the wealth and opulence of the beaches, impoverished masses are squeezed into tiny, filth-ridden streets, terrorized by boys as young as nine armed to the teeth with the latest weaponry, Kemp dares to go where others fear to tread. He penetrates into the heartland of the gangs' territories, exploring both the social decay that causes boys (and girls) to join gangs, and the urban mayhem they wreak. Around the world, from the former East Germany, where youths dress and adopt the mannerisms of the SS, to New Zealand, where the Mongrel Mob attracts New Zealand's disowned and disillusioned, gang violence is on the rise: in Chicago, the Kings and Queens gang claims a standing army of 30,000. Kemp sets out to discover what makes these gangs so attractive: the fashion, music, slang, handshakes, festivals, even religions that give each gang a unique identity. Gangs Around the World is by turns a fascinating, colourful, shocking account of the biggest criminal movement of the last fifty years."

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

He's not that bad an actor. He won awards as voted for by the public you know!

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Has everyone seen the episode of Extras with Ross Kemp in?

― mei (mei), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

Morgan was/is a bit of a goon, but he never did any harm in the same way that Wade did. His Mirror was mostly about crapping on celebrities, and he put his own job on the line by making the paper anti-war and generally anti-NuLab.

Wade splashed on made-up stories about asylum seekers eating swans, then retracted them in a nib on page 17 eight months later.

Would punching Mr Kemp be a bad thing to do if he was a good actor, btw?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

"The Sun's Domestic Violence Campaign "Expose the wife beating brutes" thundered The Sun headline on Monday as it launched its campaign against domestic violence.

The paper said their aim of raising money for the charity Refuge justified their publication of photographs of convicted offenders alongside the details of their crimes. Now other domestic violence charities are reporting calls from women who fear the "name and shame campaign" will lead to further violence by enraged men."

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Now reports are saying that Wade was drunk and the pair had been out "commiserating" with DAVID BLUNKETT!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

House Of Commons gossip says she was out with Blunkett and came home to find Kemp in bed with a bloke.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

That ought not to be a problem they are both each other beards.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Did the Eastenders drum-roll play when she opened the bedroom door?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

OK now it's funny.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

haha

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

i don't understand Ed's post.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

1. Beard

Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexaul person the apperance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.Half of the women on the red carpet at the movie premier were not real dates, but beards.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Haha. "Women on the red carpet".

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

You are not familiar with the term "beard" as used in this context, Steve?

ARGH FUCK PWN3D BY NOODLE'S SUPERIOR TYPING SKILLX0RZ

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

WATCH OUT PHIL! HE'S GOT A BEARD!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/840000/images/_841499_ross_kemp150.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

x post

Cut'n'paste off Urban Dictionary, innit mate?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

I was not aware of the use of the word 'beard' in that sense. I must fire my agent.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

After an admittedly slow start, this thread has started bringing the roffles.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

Which Eastenders characters have had beards? I know Ian was rocking a particularly revolting 'tache for a while.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Well Dot Cotton's got a moustache.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

Without belabouring the point; it's not necessarily funny, but it certainly has a tinge of irony about it.

Again, it strikes me that whilst everyone rightly takes mtf domestic violence issues very seriously, the ftm domestic violence issue is deemed to be somehow less serious - as if men somehow deserve anything that a woman chooses to do to them. (the shadow of the wife waiting for her husband whilst brandishing a rolling pin looms large)

On the beard thing...I know a bear couple who call themselves "The Beards"

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

Beppe, Connor, some others.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

Roly?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

Okay, no beard, but fantastic sideburns.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39172000/jpg/_39172629_roly300.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Beards:
Nasty Nick (late junky version). Phil Mitchell. The old West Indian guy with the white hair who isn't in it any more. Ali who used to own the cafe's brother? Paul (recently deceased black drug dealer). Depressed era Arthur Fowler.

This guy
http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/eastenders/characters/adi_f/char_adiferreira.jpg

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Goatee-era Mark Fowler.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Minty has some kind of white stubbly thing going on sometimes, or is it just in my imagination

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

Terry (Tiffany's dad) was very poorly-shaven at times.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

House Of Commons gossip says she was out with Blunkett and came home to find Kemp in bed with a bloke.
-- aldo_cowpat (aldo.cowpa...), November 3rd, 2005.

COME ON NOW ALDO YOU CAN SEE THAT THIS IS FUNNY!?!?!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

and let us not forget big Ron, rest his soul

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

Amen bro

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

The mental image...is...just....

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

wait a minute, is she hot?

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

See for yourself:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/documentaries/images/rebekah_wade_lead.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

whats the iceberg factor

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

90% of her stays under the duvet, hopefully.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

Scotland Yard said Mr Kemp, 41, sustained a "thick lip"

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

6 drinks, maybe 7 or 8

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

as far as evil journalists go shes no judy miller

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Wade is not hot, she's no Jane Moore OH NO NO WHAT AM I SAYIN MAH WARF'S GONNA KILL MEEE

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

http://www.omelete.com.br/imagens/cinema/news/star_trek/worf.jpg

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

She has nice hair.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

I must admit, I'm kind of interested in how the sun's going to cover this story tomorrow.

It's easy to imagine how the mirror's going to run with it!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

well the story was broken by........... SKY NEWS!!!!!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

WADE UNDER (ARREST)

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:31 (twenty years ago)

BABY'S GOT A KEMP-ER

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:31 (twenty years ago)

solid gold

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

I'm willing to be the Mail gives his more coverage than the Mirror.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

bet and this. Fuck me this keyboard is shite.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

RebeKAH POW!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

are you actually planning to bet on it?

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/o-._.-.0.-._.-o/front-small-2.jpg

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

rofl

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

MITCH-SLAPPED

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:59 (twenty years ago)

Um, should I ask who the Peggy person is?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

She's a Mitchell!

This is going to spoil a Proper Family Christmas, I just know it.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

Every Brusier Wins?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

cursed typo

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

peggy looks like a mishmash of kelly & sharon osbourne

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

which is another id-hit-it vote

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Is it time for Frank Butcher's revolving bowtie yet?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

It's always time for that.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

MITCH-SLAPPED

This is genius!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

peggy mitchell - barbara windsor, star of countless Carry Ons etc

― Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

Sky is now saying that Steve Macfadden's wife has been arrested too!

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Thursday, 3 November 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

II couldn't give a toss about either of these people. What's really offensive is how fucking comfy and smug and provincial so many people on this thread are.

― High-No Horseperson, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

i can assure you i am far from comfy.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

II couldn't give a toss about either of these people. What's really offensive is how fucking comfy and smug and provincial so many people on this thread are.

Oh someone give this silly tart a slap, for gawwwwwwdddd's sake

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

i have my feet up on ross kemp as i type this

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

What the fuck are you on about?

( several x-posts later, obv)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

MITCH-SLAPPED

I was going to go with Smack My Mitch Up, but yours is better.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

What is Mitchell abuse?
Mitchell Abuse has been defined as psychological, sexual, and/or physical assault on an unwilling human victim, committed by one or more people whose primary motive is to fulfill a prescribed ritual in order to achieve a specific goal or satisfy the perceived needs of their deity, Rupert Murdoch.

Bald headed actors with whispery gruff voices are most frequently the victims of all types of Mitchell abuse, largely because of their vulnerability and lack of power.

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.rogerdecourcey.co.uk/img_roger_and_nookie.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

can we shorten it to 'Mabuse'? just because i was listening to Propaganda's 'Dr Mabuse' earlier. So good!

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

"smack my mitch up" haha you sicko!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

i laughed till the wheels fell off

― terry lennox. (gareth), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

EASTENDER BROTHERS IN REAL-LIFE 'ASSAULTS'

By Sherna Noah and Karen Attwood, PA

The partner and ex-partner of EastEnders actors Ross Kemp and Steve McFadden were arrested over alleged assaults today.

The Sun's editor Rebekah Wade was questioned for eight hours over an alleged attack on her EastEnders star husband Ross Kemp.

In a bizarre twist, it later emerged that McFadden's former partner had also been arrested and then released over an alleged assault on him.

McFadden and Kemp play brothers Phil and Grant Mitchell in the BBC1 soap.

It was not clear if the incidents were linked.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Will she be sacked then?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

It was not clear if the incidents were linked.

Would be utterly spiffing if they were tho, what?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Will she be sacked then?

She'll be offered a part in Eastenders in "an attempt to revive the dwindling fortunes of BBC's flagship soap"

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

In a bizarre twist, it later emerged that McFadden's former partner had also been arrested and then released over an alleged assault on him.

Please tell me it was Lucy Benjamin so we can have a real-life version of Who ~~Shot~~ Slapped Phil? story and him what played Dan ~~(OK, I know his name's Craig Fairbrass but I don't want to appear sad)~~ will end up getting framed for it. Or something.

There's a slaphead joke in there somewhere just waiting to get out as well now.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

I wonder how the Mirror and Star will deal with this tomorrow

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Redheads and Baldies don't mix

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Grant was shagging Phil when they were discovered by Wade, or so I hear.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 3 November 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

Radio 4 news also going for the Bizarre Twist, Not Known If Linked angle. OK, I can't help it, I am laughing about this story now.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

I LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM REVEALS TV'S PHIL

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/840000/images/_841499_ross_kemp150.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

Where's Suzy? She always has the lowdown on these meeja types.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

this is a publicity stunt, clearly

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

Br0wn crashed my friend P4t F1tzg3r4ld's indictments last week and did not bother speaking to him - rude cow - he just stuck to his three useless artworld rentamates in the corner until the freebies ran out. I simply must phone up T1m Russ3rt to ask him about his testimony there! Br0wn has a history of snubs - after all, I'd known K4tr1n4 since she was a mid-level storm.

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

I was in such a bad mood before I read this thread.

― Michael A Neuman (Ferg), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

One of my sister's friends has been in Eastenders recently and his sister works in telly and they are not surprised, she says.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha - The Sun have put put the Steve McFadden story on page 1.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

That'll be the first time he's been on top of Ross Kemp this week then.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

Isn't Steve McFadden married/betrothed to the lassie from Eastenders who shot him? Ouch!

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Friday, 4 November 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

was - i think that broked some time back

anyway... WTFFinfF!?!!!!!!eleven

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Friday, 4 November 2005 08:36 (twenty years ago)

Someone I know used to go out with one of the actors on Eastenders (a major character) and she reported that Ross Kemp was lovely and everyone really liked him and was sad when he left. The same was not said of Steve McFadden, or his missus-at-the-time. Apparently they used to row all the time and really piss everybody off because they acted like it was their show and no-one elses.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 4 November 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

even the uber-PC zoe williams found it funny. next time we have one of these things, can we just have it on record that we're all against domestic violence? ok thanks.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 4 November 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

Soap hardman beaten by ex
And Ender bruv had a bit of bovver as well

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005510327,00.html

Cops go to
Ross row

BRUV 2

EASTENDERS hardman Ross Kemp was caught up in a real-life drama yesterday when police turned up at his home in the small hours.

Ross, who has won millions of new viewers after returning to the soap as Grant Mitchell, opened the door to find four officers on his front step.

The cops said they were investigating an allegation that he had been assaulted by his wife Rebekah Wade, who is editor of The Sun.

Ms Wade, 37, was arrested at the house in Battersea, South London, and taken to a nearby police station.

Rebekah and Ross ...
'fuss about nothing'

She was held for eight hours before being released without any charge or a caution.

Ms Wade, who became Sun editor at the beginning of 2003, was not even interviewed by police during her stay at the station.

Ross, 41 — also the star of ITV’s hit series Ultimate Force about the SAS — did not sustain any injuries.

A cut to his lip which was reported by news agencies had in fact been sustained during filming.

Ms Wade was also not hurt during the incident which was described as an “old-fashioned row” between a married couple.

The couple, who wed three years ago, had returned to their home together at 3am after attending a birthday party.

Earlier Ms Wade had also seen fallen Cabinet Minister David Blunkett who had quit as Work and Pensions Secretary in the morning.

As soon as she was released from police custody, Ms Wade returned to The Sun’s offices at Wapping, East London, to mastermind production of today’s newspaper.

Last night she said: “It was just a silly row which got out of hand.”

Ross said: “It was a lot of fuss about nothing.”

― Frogm@n Henry, Friday, 4 November 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

Latest rumour: Wade came home to find Kemp in compromising situation with his "lifelong friend" Guy Black (Michael Howard's press secretary).

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:36 (twenty years ago)

guy black was formerly involved in the whole prince charles butler-rape scenario, i think.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

He was.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:40 (twenty years ago)

Actually, make that "He was?"

I thought that rung a bell but now I can't find anything saying that. But I'm going to stop looking cause this is all a bit sick.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

Congrats for the Mirror on their headline, Bish Bash Bosh.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 4 November 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

Bish Bash Bosh?

That's very poor.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Friday, 4 November 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

The Kemp -> POW link:

Together, they are reckoned to have become one of Britain's most influential media couples since marrying in 2002, and count leading figures in the political and media establishment among their friends.
These include Guy Black, press secretary to Michael Howard, the Tory leader. Black is a childhood friend of Kemp and they remain close.

He and his partner Mark Boland, the Prince of Wales's press secretary, have been on holiday with Wade and Kemp.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 4 November 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

The friend added: “After they split up they had an agreement that Angela could stay in the house, but would not go into the garage. Steve popped in on Tuesday and found Angela in there rifling through his personal stuff.

OI, GEH AWWT OF ME CAR LOT, SON.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

oh, i think guy black worked for the press complaints commission, and there was something complex linking him more closely to the POW.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Who is this black guy you're all on about?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

Ross Kemp at the Baftas:

Ex-EastEnders star Ross Kemp was unrepentant about winning best factual series ahead of Stephen Fry's documentary on manic depression and family history programme Who Do You Think You Are?

"We've been shot at," he said of his show, which profiled gangs around the world.

"We've been in prisons where people are raped on a regular basis. I've been on my own on a number of occasions with people who are multiple murderers.

"I interviewed a man who'd shot 16 people through the head before his 10th birthday."

And to celebrate the recognition for his work, he was "definitely going to get smashed" after the ceremony, he quipped.

― William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 21 May 2007 22:51 (eighteen years ago)

RIP. Heaven needed a man who could get beaten up by an eight stone woman.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 21 May 2007 22:55 (eighteen years ago)

He didn't want to live in a world without Kellogg's Fruit and Fibre.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

You're thinking of Angus Deayton.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:14 (eighteen years ago)

No, I believe he didn't want to live in a world without coked-up hookers.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

God bless Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyQ7tiJw3sE

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/8545/cheekysquashedkemp.jpg

http://kempfolds.blogspot.com/

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:34 (sixteen years ago)

WOW

― I can't make my face turn into a heart (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:55 (sixteen years ago)

That is awesome.

― ailsa, Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

I smell a "Best Original Concept" award coming up at whatever stupid awards they give to blogs.

― Skeevy Wonder (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2484/3727293065_c89c1dd798.jpg?v=1247784884

― the evil spawn of maxwell from big brother (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

Thank god somebody re-upped this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bsApDcW1ng

― Skeevy Wonder (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 July 2009 13:01 (sixteen years ago)

Screen grab it, print it, fold it.

― I can't make my face turn into a heart (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 26 July 2009 13:07 (sixteen years ago)

ten years pass...

https://i2-prod.walesonline.co.uk/article17538210.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_rosskempPNG.png

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/ross-kemp-spice-cannabis-vape-hmp-belmarsh-prison-documentary-itv-a9276276.html

― Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:38 (six years ago)

https://thehooksite.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ross4.jpg

― Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:40 (six years ago)

When your hobby becomes your job

― The Masked Zinger (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:58 (six years ago)

tbf to Kemp I look much the same most mornings

― Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:59 (six years ago)

six months pass...

He's back.

https://i1.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Screen-Shot-2020-08-03-at-20.33.01-fc11.png

https://metro.co.uk/2020/08/03/ross-kemp-reveals-swollen-lips-stung-wasps-jokes-look-like-mick-jagger-13078939/

― Sonny Shamrock (Tom D.), Tuesday, 4 August 2020 21:22 (five years ago)

Sometimes I’d review the third episode with an actor – no director present.

On the occasion of the uniform episode, I’d invited Ross Kemp.

I gave him sugared coffee and my most comfortable chair. I turned the TV towards him so the screen wouldn’t flare with the sun finding gaps in the BBC blinds.

We watched in parallel and, apart from my scribbling and his laboured breathing, in silence.

A silence broken as the scissors sliced the khaki.

For a moment, I thought the sound guys had gone overboard with stereo effects. But no - in my right ear I had Grant sobbing on the marital bed and in my left ear Ross sobbing in my comfortable chair.

The actor had been overwhelmed by his own performance.

“Am I really as good I as I think I am?” he asked, shaking the tears from his big round eyes.

― boxedjoy, Thursday, 6 August 2020 10:28 (five years ago)

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