opo: the worst pairing of words in the english language

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...or the opposite of the "cellar door" blah drew barrymore talks about in donnie darko. taking into account cultural/social/historical/onomatopoeic/personal associations/evocations (or not), what would yours be?

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

i considered "friendly fire" and "collateral damage" but i'm going to have to go with "CHEAP MEAT". ugh, ugh, ugh.

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

Nyurgh.

Perhaps related to that, the rofflicious typo 'beef panties' pointed out yesterday on Yahoo is pretty vile. But since that's not a common phrase I suppose it does not count.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

Beer Pasties?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

fuck you

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

"The Diet of Worms," while not a pairing, needs to be mentioned anyway.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

Meaty Forearms

Or, a Stephen King favourite - "Meaty Stench"

Meaty anything really.

― Rumpie, Friday, 4 November 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

weeping sores

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

Sucking chestwound.

OK, technically three words, but revolting no less.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Proactive leadership

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

syphilitic chancre

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Team player.

― melton mowbray (adr), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Artic Monkeys

― James Ward, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

oooh, good call

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

Good Call

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

parody thread

― _, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

rat fink

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

Team player.

OTM!!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

subtle impact

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

Technically it's two words collated into one, but 'quirkyalone' makes me want to hurl blood and stomach lining.

― chap who would dare to spy on his best mate's ex (chap), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

Last orders

― James Ward, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

honest truth

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

daily basis

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

as heard at work on monday, "key-mail"

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

Ongoing issues

SMEAR TEST

― Rumpie, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

macaroni pie

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxpost

"beef" is an ugly word and will uglify pretty much anything it's put next to, especially if the other word is something a bit wispy and fragile like "panties". "beef" for me brings up a picture of a red-faced vein-burst waistcoat-stretched goldwatch-bedecked bristly-moustached country laird shaking his fist with gobbets of spittle flying from his mouth. f'some reason i think it may have to do with danny the champion of the world but i dunno why.

what's up with beer pasties, mark? rough night last night?

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

rampant misuse of beefcakes

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

all this dancing around "beef panties" isn't going to get me to nominate it.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

duty calls

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

smear test yes ick ugh; and meaty anything, yeah... i thought that was just me though cos meat is so repulsive.

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

meat hat

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Easy tiger

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Smear Test... AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

We have a winner. Both the sound and the concept. Just thinking about it makes me cross my legs.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

meat sombrero

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

corn chowder

― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

pit stain

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

is that chuck d?

― _, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

meat yarmulke

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

Hmmm.

f'some reason i think it may have to do with danny the champion of the world but i dunno why.

A book I unfairly castigated when I got it as a gift when I was eleven. Then I actually read it. (Long story.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm liking the Meat-hats. I'm sure the seagulls around here would like them too.

― Rumpie, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Food Product

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

I found them at
www.hatsofmeat.com

Some horrible hyphenates:
user-friendly
work-intensive
tough-love

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

live journal

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

cheese food

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

just friends

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

sex kitten

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

cheesy taint

― Dan (Rotting Face) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

(xpost: Alan I think you meant "kitten sex".)

― Dan (Dolphin Rape) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

damp patch

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

Beth, that is fashion genius.

― Rumpie, Friday, 4 November 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

my space

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

brains faggots

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Novelty tie

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Alien Concept

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

Sailor Moon

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

http://ilx.p3r.net/searchresults.php?board=1&mode=messages&q=hatsofmeat&titlepart=&name=&email=&username=&dateafter=&datebefore=&catid=all

― Dan (Old Is The New New) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

reality television

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

phlegmmy turd

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 4 November 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

Milton Keynes

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Friday, 4 November 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

smart casual

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Friday, 4 November 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

pork teat

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 4 November 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

crush thread

― _, Friday, 4 November 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

unless said in the third person by alex in nyc like the incredible hulk

― _, Friday, 4 November 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

PORK TEAT! Good god man.

I nominate "actual fact". Of course it's actual, if it's a fact, you prick!

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 4 November 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

pube suckling

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 4 November 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

moist tabernacle

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

hairy soup.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

stink gash

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

gore encrusted

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

goatse cx

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

wet fart

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:30 (twenty years ago)

Justice Scalia.

― andy --, Friday, 4 November 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

Bush re-elected.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 4 November 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

dry run

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 4 November 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

This is personal and works better if you know someone I knew in high school, but when I heard the phrase "emaciated snatch" I nearly hurled.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

I was at an industry conference yesterday, and one of the presenters kept using the term "decisioning team" to refer to the management committee at his company. I wanted to shout: "Decision is not a verb you idiot!"

― o. nate (onate), Friday, 4 November 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

ooh, that reminds me. journalism types around here seem to like using the phrase "committing journalism" to give what they do a sense of ... what? i don't know. it makes me cringe whenever they say it to pat themselves on the back. "we're sorry to see suzie leave to start a career at another paper. she's a great journalist and really 'committed journalism.'" ugh.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 4 November 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

Moist cooter.

― John Justen (johnjusten), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

pork patrol

― Roxymuzak, Mrs. Carbohydrate (roxymuzak), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

JOHN JUSTEN YOU BELONG IN THE PENALTY BOX

("moist fecundity")

― Dan (BLEAH) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

I take it back, the incredible descriptive effect "emaciated snatch" (and its follow-up "Brandisnatch") had on me is clearly evidence that this was a great and powerful match.

So I am changing my vote to the horrible combination of words I encountered in a Frederick Barthelme novel: "Gumby-like clitoris!"

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

"Moist fecundity" = Dan, are you looking through Peter Murphy lyrics?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

(hem hem just in case you missed it GUMBY-LIKE CLITORIS)

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

PULCHRITUDINOUS MUFF

(xpost: Peter Murphy or Queensryche?)

― Dan (Huzzah!) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

wouldn't the opposite of "cellar door" be an english phrase that sounds awful but refers to something quite nice? a case of discordant prosody paired with an idyllic referent?

― fortunate hazel (f. hazel), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

(Also nabisco you can go cozy up with John in the penalty box)

― Dan (Clitoris Shaped Like Eddie Murphy: FLEE) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

anal cheerleader

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

Sexy Grandpa

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

Phlegm Pancake

― Dan (Lung Biscuit) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

Anal Cheerleader? What, Anthony, you were disappointed with the plot or something?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

Anal as a prefix to an occupation if kinda off. Esp. "cheerleader."

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

is kinda off

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Arousing Travolta

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

The little known sequel to Boxing Helena

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Anthony, I think my joke was that I can only think of one context in which "anal" gets used to modify professionals (such as nurses and cheerleaders).

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

And really if you'd have a problem with the word-pairing "anal astronaut" then you are totally beyond redemption!

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

"one small hole for man..."

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

anal accountant
anal adjuster
anal teller
anal chef
anal sweeper
anal sprinter
anal stripper
anal quarterback
anal vocalist
anal judge
anal attorney
anal dealer
anal host
anal attendant
anal gaucho
anal rapper
anal spinto
anal flautist
anal garbageman
anal auditor
anal surveyor
anal governer
anal crooner
anal goatherd

― Dan (Lady-O-De-Lady-O-De-Lay-Dee-HOO) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

Dan surely you ARE an anal gaucho.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

anal linguist

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

vaginal belch

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

orange drink

― superultramega (superultramarinated), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

I realize it is Myposian but I must nominate Bibi Babka, based on this transcription:

When you rollin' out the dough
Just make sure you roll it slow
If you roll it out too quick
Bibi Babka make you sick

When you put the filling in
Just make sure you wear a grin
If you smile on what you bake
Bibi Babka come out swell

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

High on a hill was an anal goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the anal goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Folks in a town that was quite remote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Lusty and clear from the goatherd's throat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

O ho lay dee odl lee o, o ho lay dee odl ay
O ho lay dee odl lee o, lay dee odl lee o lay

A prince on the bridge of a castle moat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Men on a road with a load to tote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Men in the midst of a table d'hote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Men drinking beer with the foam afloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

One little girl in a pale pink coat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
She yodeled back to the anal goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
What a duet for a girl and goatherd

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Ummm (ummm)...
Odl lay ee (odl lay ee)
Odl lay hee hee (odl lay hee hee)
Odl lay ee ...
... yodeling ...

One little girl in a pale pink coat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hoo hoo
She yodeled back to the anal goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hmm hmm
What a duet for a girl and goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Happy are they lay dee olay dee lee o ...
... yodeling ...
Soon the duet will become a trio
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Odl lay ee, old lay ee
Odl lay hee hee, odl lay ee
Odl lay odl lay, odl lay odl lee, odl lay odl lee
Odl lay odl lay odl lay

HOO!

― Dan (Ruining The Sound Of Music Since 1986) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

gleaming gloat

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

it's a shame Carrot Top isn't one word

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

though 'Carrot Top' alone makes the top 50

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Probst naked

― Dan (IEEEEEEEEEEEEE) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Matthew's Modine

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

Baywatch Nights

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Lubricated goat.

Lubricated goatee.

Lubricated goatse.

― moley, Friday, 4 November 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

fecal matter

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Oh Moley, you and the Australian references.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

('Koala tacos' is of course not a worst combination, but best.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

anal analyst

― Dan (Cummy Curmudgeon) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

anal accountant - This one was pretty hot. Nice set design. I preferred volume 12, though.
anal chef - Yeah, it's funny how Al Franken was always pretty funny on SNL, but never really got much attention out of it.
anal stripper - This one was okay, I liked the scene with the threesome, but I felt like the concept was kind of obvious.
anal quarterback - I don't know why I thought there were girls in this one.
anal attorney - Too much plot, though the part with the gavel was great.
anal rapper - Not exactly "hot," but that's one awesome talent that girl has.
anal flautist - Ditto.
anal garbageman - The movie was great, but I still don't get the premise: why would the horny housewives have "secret" affairs with the garbageman? Everyone can see him walking up and going into the house.
anal surveyor - Two many close-ups.
anal governer - Funny, but the guy's Clinton impression was pretty weak.
anal crooner - Funny, but I can't believe Mel Torme ever got reduced to that kind of work.
anal goatherd - I'm not sure that's legal here.

― movie reviews, Friday, 4 November 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

STICKY GASH

― melton mowbray (adr), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

Oh wait, Andrew M trumped that upthread!

― melton mowbray (adr), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Hmm. Sticky gash doesn't have any genitalia-related conntations for me, but rather calls up a ragged wound that's gone untended. By now the blood is half-dried and gummy, the perfect consistency to attract & trap flies, and the raw flesh is caked with dirt and bits of the forest floor. Lunchtime!

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

neo conservative

― kingfish orange creamsicle (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

compassionate conservative!!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

Christian Right

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

booty flakes

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 5 November 2005 03:36 (twenty years ago)

lady lumps

― Worst song, played on ugliest guitar (fandango), Saturday, 5 November 2005 03:44 (twenty years ago)

"Bootyflakes" is one word!

― Dan (Etymology-A-Go-Go) Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 5 November 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

I was going to say lady lumps!

― melton mowbray (adr), Saturday, 5 November 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

MEET CUTE

It makes me want to gauge out the eyeballs of random strangers with a grapefruit spoon.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

fish juice

― kyle (akmonday), Saturday, 5 November 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

AND "meet cute" has the meat thing, too, homonymically.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

My father used to chug Snow's clam juice straight out of the bottle, room-temperature. That's why I am the way I am.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

ice cream flavor my brother invented: Liver Ripple

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

wot's meet cute? never heard it.

― emsk ( emsk), Saturday, 5 November 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

piss flaps

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Saturday, 5 November 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

wot's meet cute? never heard it.
something roger ebert coined, I think; or at least that's the first place I heard of it. it's a "cute meeting" b/w two characters in a plot.

― kyle (akmonday), Saturday, 5 November 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

resulting paste

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 5 November 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

I love Roger Ebert. I would hate to think he's responsible.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 5 November 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

paris hilton

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Saturday, 5 November 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

passive aggressive

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

my space
-- g-kit (kittenslikemil...), November 4th, 2005 3:37 PM. (g-kit) (link)

faces

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

That track that plays on gkit's page is fucking hilarious!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:28 (nineteen years ago)

Sink estate

― TS: Mick Ralphs vs. Ariel Bender (Dada), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

"contemplating suicide"

Why is anybody ever only described as contemplating suicide? Not only is the phrase cumbersome, it also cliches out anyone who says it.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

hen fap

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

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