Intellidating: rife in London

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Having left three and a half years ago, I enjoy allowing my idea of London life to slip into a seductive fog of unreality.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Shoot me now.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

"intellectual fora" - brilliant.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

"institutional fora" oops.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

What in the world do they think was going on at poetry readings before?

― nabiscothingy, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

This mania for coining new phrases is unmatched since the 17th Century. I'm off down the coffeehouse.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

To meet fellow starbuckaneers?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 09:12 (twenty years ago)

oh my

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

"If you are an intelligent person in an important position at work, you are not going to hang out in a bar or go speed dating."

what about all us intelligent poor people? to be honest, i think people with proper jobs suffer from not being able to engage in debate, research, etc, during working hours like wot i do.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

yeah, but you have a girlfriend, so hush up.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:28 (twenty years ago)

girlfriend is such an outdated term!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

OH NOES the clever people will not get with the fucking and then where will we be godamnit?!!!

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

i have a friend who is a civil servant; he went speed-dating, unironically, and i dare say he's 'intelligent' and 'important'. but then he doesn't get laid much.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

yeah i know ppl who speed date and use on-line dating services yada yada.

also: skidmo to thread obv

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

I have interesting friends. I get plenty of intellectual debate.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:38 (twenty years ago)

It is all so hideously difficult."

well, indeed.

― toby (tsg20), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

yeah but the idea here is to do it with strangers for the intelligent sexx0r afterwards

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

I don't want intelligent sex. That sounds awful, like some kind of codeword for creationism. I want dumb dirty animal sex, yeah. Evolution, baby, do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

Dating != sex.

Doesn't for me, anyway.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

Dating is overrated. Can we just skip it and get to the mating?

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:46 (twenty years ago)

*hugs johnny b*

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

intelligent mating

I intelligently mated stevem and several others.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, you can just make almost anything funny these days by adding "intelligent" as a prefix.

"Theory of Gravity replaced by Intelligent Falling" stylee etc.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

yeah but the emphasis in "intelligent mating" in the last post is actually the mating bit, cos it was related to chess.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

I play chess stupidly.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Terrible violent, imperialistic game. I'm having none of it!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

but sexxing is kind of violent and imperialistic too.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I would like to get violent and imperialistic with the hott Boris J lookylike from upstairs!

Whoops, sorry, wrong thread.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

does Boris J play chess?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

Stephen Moss's latest assignment involves Chess Boxing, I note from today's G2. IntelliChessBoxidating next please.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

"You and me baby we got a combined IQ of 344 so let's do it like they do it on top intellectual channel More4"

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

Excellent. Now will you father my child? Oh yes, and stay home and raise it while you're at it because I'm too busy with my amazing job.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

"It really has quite an important effect on people," said Hart who has offered Bob Geldof reading Yeats, Ralph Fiennes on Auden and Roger Moore reciting Kipling.

"The mind is stretched," she added. "People have wept at some of the evenings."

I'm not surprised people wept if they had to listen to Bob Geldof reading Yeats.

― Flyboy (Flyboy), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

Roger Moore reciting Kipling.

::sniggers uncontrollably::

Sorry, yes, I mean, of course, I was weeping, I was so moved to emotion.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

You are not concentrating on what is happening from the navel to the knee -- you are connecting to the gray matter

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:20 (twenty years ago)

I had a look at my sister's speed-dating notes at the weekend and it pretty much said:

1. Gay?
2. Gay?
3. Gay?
4. Short
5. Gay?
6. Hairdresser. Gay?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:21 (twenty years ago)

Why would gay men go to a hetero speed dating night? Spite?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:22 (twenty years ago)

don't The Gays have their own speed-dating functions especially for them? xpost

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

"intellichessboxidating" ha ha ha.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

Is it really 3 1/2 years since you moved out of London, Alba? Blimey.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

You are not concentrating on what is happening from the navel to the knee -- you are connecting to the gray matter

-- Mädchen

good point, is she saying that all foot fetishists are stoopid?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

None of the people mentioned in that article or involved in the writing of it are intelligent.

― alext (alext), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:28 (twenty years ago)

w h auden was fairly intelligent.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:28 (twenty years ago)

Is it really 3 1/2 years since you moved out of London, Alba? Blimey.

I know! Blimey and indeed, k-blimey. Twas the lack of intellidating opportunities that drove me away. Perhaps now I'll return.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

That means it's 3 2/3 years since I moved out of London. Coo.

My sister reckons that speed dating events are full of gay men in denial. I reckon she scares the living daylights out of chaps and the only way they can get rid of her is by pretending to be gay.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

Just like that TV show...

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

I forget which one. Maybe Lost.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

Why is it that I find women who that assume men who don't fancy them must be gay funny, but find men who shout "lesbians!" at women who turn them down just depressing?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

cos you're a no good sexualist mang.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Er, N., because we live in a sexist society?

― RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

GOOD ANSWER.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Why would gay men go to a hetero speed dating night? Spite?

it's like non-smokers who take up the entire smoking area in pubs. wait, that's a good thing tho

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

Alba, you think too much.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Does that mean I'm gay?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

Steve your foot is somewhere between your navel and the knee?

gay men go to hetero speed dating for the same reason straight men go to gay bars, maybe...

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

to attend poptimism

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

Why is it that I find women who that assume men who don't fancy them must be gay funny, but find men who shout "lesbians!" at women who turn them down just depressing?

Cos being called a homsexual is meant abusivly in one case but not in the other maybe?

"He doesn't fancy me, why are all the good ones gay or married?"

"She doesn't fancy me, FUCKIN' LESBIAN!"

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

It wasn't about whether my sister thought they fancied her or not. Knowing her, she probably studied their faces and decided they had "gay eyes" or something and therefore weren't for her. Is this the point at which I mention she lives alone with a cat?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

is this the sexism version of blackface?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

I've got even less chance now, man, I don't wanna talk about 'intelligent' stuff.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

are the personals in the back of the lrb a form of "intellidating"? i'm obsessed with them, even though i have no desire to run off with a verbose overeducated old dude.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

Has the no-smoking thing happened now already? It might be disappointing to meet someone in a ~~pub~~ literary salon, fancy them, and then realize once you're hailing a cab that the person you're about to intellishag is a NON-SMOKER.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

It would be worse to meet someone in a literary salon, fancy them, and then realize once you're hailing a cab that the person you're about to intellishag is a SMOKER.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

the lrb bookshop has singles nights! i'm wild with curiousity as to what they're like.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I'm intelligent enough for intellidating. Why can't things I'm interested in have singles nights? Typographical libraries, architectural societies, psychogeographical societies (the day that Smoke sets up a Singles Night is the day that I go to one) etc. etc.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

I would be thinking, okay that person was alright, but I really want a nice cup of tea when I get in, maybe I'll email them but I doubt if they 'll reply.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Which reminds me, I should email TGL.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

Typographical libraries, architectural societies, psychogeographical societies

go to an lrb night! stand by the architecture books looking alluring! or the books on typography or psychogeography - there's loads. i really want someone to check this out.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

I'm not going by myself! I don't even read the LRB!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

I would avoid Psychogeographers.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

maybe i'll go to one in disguise.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:23 (twenty years ago)

"Peter Ackroyd fan seeks Typographical Librarian to seek out the lost Hawksmore churches with..."

(Gah, why do I never actually have the guts to say things like this to the TGL?)

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:23 (twenty years ago)

i'm beating this dead horse into a mashed bloody pulp, but... did you that's exactly the kind of ad that would run in the lrb personals?

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

did you know, bah.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

Maybe I should read the LRB. But I just associate it with the kind of books that get discussed on I Love Books - i.e. not the sort of things I really read. Besides, it's far too... literary for me. I wish New Scientist did personals, those I would check out.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, this is terrible - it started with N going all "argh, this is an abomination" and it has concluded with Lauren and I (semi)-seriously thinking about trying it.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

i got anna interested in the idea a while back, but nothing ever came of it.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

I'm actually making myself depressed by considering it.

And then thinking that I wouldn't actually go with any of my friends - especially not you or Anna - because you're so attractive I would fade into invisibility or merge with the bookshelves beside you. Sigh.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

i'll go dressed as a gigantic book.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

"Read between my lines, baby!"

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

But all the intellimen there would be so brainy and cultured that they'd probably forget to think about such dumbed-down things as what you look like!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, as if.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

There is an LRB singles night on Dec 7. It costs £8, but you do get some Chinese classical music, wine and canapes. And tweedy donnish types with purple teeth, no doubt.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

I bet Jerry the Nipper is mixed up in this intellidating somehow.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

Horse teeth and tweed a definite plus. Oh but god, they would make fun of my spelling. :-(

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

I met my twue love through a kind of intellidating site... almost two years ago, now.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if the attendees are as unhinged as their ads make them sound.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

Would it be wrong to go to a LRB singles night even if I don't actually *READ* the LRB? I could say that I was doing it as a sociopsychological experiment. For my next symphony, I mean novel.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

I attended several proto-intellidating events hosted by JtN at the Poetry Cafe, but never copped off. I lost out to Jasper Buckaroo.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

x-post, I'm really curious about these ads now!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

What was that site, JtN?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

It was recommended by Skidmo': here. Funnily enough, the first thing I did was a search for people who listed "LRB" under the magazines they read.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

You can talk about Hawksmoor to your heart's content in the (supercheap) bar of the Architectural Association, where the talent is slightly better dressed and younger and gagging for it after Mark Cousins lectures.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

Wow, Jerry - I like the way you can say you're looking for married people on that website.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:54 (twenty years ago)

Suzy, and all aged about 12 and out of my league.

Interesting website. The people certainly seem... more my *age* than other sites I've seen. ::bashes head against desk:: I will not sign up.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

ah go on.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

Hello! I was summoned by Alan way upthread. Probably just because I have made extensive use of dating sites. The one I have used most - the only one I have used for the last couple of years - bills itself as the thinking person's dating site (xpost with Jerry). My last date through it initiated contact on the basis that she fancied me, and didn't have much interest at all in all that intellectual stuff, hard as that may be to believe. I have made no attempt to join intellectual societies as a way of meeting sexy women.

"You and me baby we got a combined IQ of 344 so let's do it like they do it on top intellectual channel More4"

Oh, I don't think I'd go out with any woman with that low an IQ. I'd want to be pushing 400 in total.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

I don't have any recent photographs of myself. I did take one for the exact purpose of interweb dating, and gave it to Miss AMP months ago to scan and have never seen it again.

x-post

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

I talked to a girl on that site for a bit, it totally fizzled out, like these things usually do.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

I've been obsessed with the back-of-book-reviews personals for years -- also the ones in niche political magazines. And I'm still baffled by this article. How exactly did they think people like this were getting together before -- randomly hooking up in bars and then later noticing their shared love of Auden? What they describe as "intellidating" sounds curiosly like what most people refer to as "graduate school." But I guess I'll just have to take Yahoo's word for it that a bunch of people who used to slobber their way through bars asking people's signs just randomly decided it was cool and new to act like Diane from Cheers.

― nabiscothingy, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

There is a great Barthelme story about back-of-book reviews dating, in 'The Teachings of Don B.', I think. The worst is Semiotext(e), apparently.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 19:26 (twenty years ago)

Why are the loveandfriends.com women so very fond of wine? Is it a UK thing? Just casually browsing the first 50 people's first paragraphs:

- I also equally enjoy spending nights in with a nice bottle of wine and a movie.
- I am quite happy chilling out with a good bottle of wine and mates.
wine is a huge passion that fits very well with my other passions of travel and food.
- I always appreciate a good glass of vino.
- I also enjoy evenings in with a bottle of wine.
- Am looking for a man who I can share a bottle of wine with and have a good time.
- I also enjoy evenings in with a bottle of wine, especially when it's with someone special.
- I am also quite happy to stay in with a bottle of wine and put the world to rights.
- I like to sit in as of a night and catch a good film and sometimes I like to go to the pub and drink wine (red).
- I love wine, and food... that's because I am Italian!
- I do drink pints sometimes (as well as wine).
- Nights in with a a bottle of wine and a DVD are easily eclipsed by nights in with champagne and stimulating conversation, otherwise I may as well be on my own.

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

(Oh I forgot to bullet the third one!)

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

I thought at first that that was a single ad!

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Wine = "phear my sophsticated tastes and palate" + "socially speaking I will prefer to sit home and chat and then after our boring friends leave engage in cheesy 'sensual' wine-drunk activities of the sort that will lead to my referring to you as my 'lover.'"

― nabiscothingy, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

Middle class British = not surprising, really. Even women who don't much care think it makes them sound better than beer or shorts. It's also something that is shared, thus the specific frequent mentions of bottles.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

I hate wine, give me ribena anyday.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

Although I'm both impressed and offended by the way that last woman has upped the ante from nights in with wine and DVD to ... nights in with champagne and conversation! Which umm is it just me or does this sound uniquely horrible? Like she's going to want you to wear a suit and sit alone with her on the couch saying "fabulous, darling" and creating fake arguments to have about politics you already basically agree on? On some level that reads kinda like "I talk a lot, and will need you to sit nearby and pretend that's very glamorous of me."

― nabiscothingy, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

Yes, and I wonder if they all picked up that cultural shorthand from somewhere in particular? What do US online personals mention in that kind of rote iconic way? Not wine, certainly. Iron And Wine?

The last one is great.

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

http://www.loveandfriends.com/M.asp?MNme=Leopard_eye

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

I'm worried by the overwhelming "I love to travel, can't wait to visit [insert mountain, jungle, wasteland, warzone here]!" and "can't wait to try [insert awful adventure activity here]!" trends. I mean, I don't especially love travelling, or have a desire to go anywhere in particular, and I've certainly no desire to ever scuba dive/pony trek/mountaineer. I think I may be some kind of freak! Just give me a nice stroll by the coast, or two weeks in Bognor.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Has anyone else read Round-heeled Woman by the woman who ran the ad in the NYRB about wanting to have a lot of sex with a man she liked before she turned 65? It's an especially awful book.

― Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

God, I am actually quite glad that I didn't mention wine in my profile. (Yes, I'm a sucker and I signed up for it.) I mentioned booze, but I mentioned "bitters with intriguing names like Old Wet Dog" and interesting whiskies.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:33 (twenty years ago)

mmm interesting whiskeys

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

ew interesting whiskers

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:40 (twenty years ago)

(that's more an LRB thing)

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

Interesting sidewhiskers would be good. But that's more a BJM thing.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

You know, I drink wine, but I'm not a Wine Drinker. I mean, if we're going to go for a cliche, I'd much rather it was the aran sweaters, tweed jackets, interesting whiskers and rambling expeditions of a CAMRA groupie. ;-)

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

i think the LRB back-ads are the mainstay of its branding really. i can['t think of anything else about it that binds it together so much -- maybe the horrible covers.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

The books and the films that they suggested in their click boxes were just bloody AWFUL. I don't think I selected any of them. In fact, I doubt I'd date anyone who selected such ... middlebrow pretentious things. (groans at that word).

But I have to say that the men on the site are closer my age and my "background" (god, I hate that word) than the boys on OKCupid. :-/

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

OK Cupid?? Is that what you're comparing it against? There are more serious alternatives like the guardian soulmates online.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

I'm sorry, I'm new to this "interweb dating" thing. I've not a clue how it's done or where it's done. I'm not an old hand and I don't know what the options are.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

ok, i'm probably showing my lack of intelliness here but WTF is LRB, BJM and TGL?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

lrb = london review of books?

Not sure abyt the other 2. (actually, not sure abt lrb either)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

> The books and the films that they suggested in their click boxes were just bloody AWFUL

examples?

i think jel is the only one on this thread that talked sense with his ribena comment 8) i did think the 'grey matter is the new black' was kinda funny though.

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

BlowJob Monthly and The Good Life

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

BJM = Brian Jonestown Massacre, a drone/spacerock/psychedelic band

TGL = the Typographical Librarian, who was my last crush

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

OIC LOL THX.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

x-post the only thing I could really remember was Captain Corelli's Mandolin - or perhaps that was the only one of the suggestions that I'd actually read. They just seemed like a load of those books that Waterstones always have on the 3 for 2 tables. And it was all fiction!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

I think well known ILX bugbears like Bridget Jones and Nick Hornby were on the list, too.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

i want to start an acronymic dating site in which people only talk in acronyms.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

(obvious resonse to this deleted)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:10 (twenty years ago)

oh fuck it

x0x0x ILY ILX OMG A/S/L??

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

must have GFCH

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

What the blinkin' 'eck is a GFCH?

I liked the fact that they made you take a humour test as part of their set up. So now it's official that I have no sense of humour, because nearly every single thing I replied "that's not funny" or "I just don't it". Sigh.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

"Gas Fired Central Heating"

i was amusingly (hem hem) confusing acronyms from flat/house ads with those used in dating ads.

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

choosing favourite films for a self-styled intellidating site is a seinfeld ep in the making.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

I don't pick films that I think will make me seem intelligent. I pick films I like and even own. Even if they are things like Barbarella and Gothic. Oh dear, I'm never going to get any dates through this site, am I?

Maybe I'm doing this all wrong. I'm not picking things where I'm thinking "THIS IS MY PERSONALITY ON DISPLAY!!!" I'm picking things that I know and love.

(The only thing I found even remotely funny on their whole list was Monty Python. I am doomed.)

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

BlowJob Monthly and The Good Life

i hear these two publications are to merge early next year, logistics etc.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

choosing favourite films for a self-styled intellidating site is a seinfeld ep in the making.

Sounds more like Coupling.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

Sounds more like Hollyoaks.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm going to go and find another thread where it's not all smug marrieds being "funny" about dating sites.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

the crap films and funny list may be effective filters in that probably quite a few people only ticked one or two as well. then it's just a matter of seeing where those choices match up. someone who ticks them all off might not be taken 'seriously' as such.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

I'm not smug about being married! Anything but, actually.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:35 (twenty years ago)

well the normally vexed question of 'is this my favourite film/book or the kind of film/book i think is "best"' is even more vexed here. ie if you put your comfort read, you are likely narrowing down the field to other people who like,ooh, tolkien; but if you go too obscure/adult you are kind of pricing yourself out of the market and again narrowing the field. but what does it say if you put 'kafka is my favourite' on a dating site?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

I am confused by it. I know that you are supposed to be representing yourself or your personality through your tastes. But most people (well, maybe not most people, but the kind of people I would like to get to know/date) are more than the sum of their tastes. Having a Taste In Music or a Taste In Literature is too often a substitute for personality.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

exactly

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

are 'favourite books/films/TV/music' still a useful barometer of someone's personality? were they ever? my answers to such questions have always been crap/dissatisfying. i do think multiple choice style questions along the lines of 'rank these situations in order of funniness' would be a good one though.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

side question: has dilettantism ever really been hott?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

my answers to such questions have always been crap/dissatisfying

no smug married jokes along the lines of 'that's because you have lousy taste' plz

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

rather than a substitute for a personality, surely it is meant to be a shorthand, and of course your taste is PART of your personality - just a small part of it.

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

God help me if I ever had to fill in one of those "favourite film/music/book" things on a site like that. Whatever the scale of hottness was, I think I'd be on the bottom. "seeks F into Jorge Luis Borges, Van Der Graaf Generator and Andrei Tarkovski". I wouldn't answer my own advert, that's for sure.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

I am not suggesting that this is true for all people, by any means. But there are people for whom their taste is a substitute for personality. And a lot of them seem to end up on dating sites.

Anyway, I think I may start another thread about the sense of humour thing. Because it has become more and more of a worry that I've not got one.

The weird thing is that Joe, during one of the rare moments when he actually seemed to notice/tell me good things about me, told me that I was "really funny". I think he meant it as a compliment, but now I'm not so sure. Because I don't think of myself as having a sense of humour and that test seems to confirm it. (Sorry, this has also been raised by the "not liking the excelsior threads" thing.)

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

x-post, natch.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't answer my own advert, that's for sure.

haha, i suppose that is the key thing. it's like 'would YOU date you?' and if the answer is no well then yes you're in a pickle.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Is it normal to date oneself?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

Well, I can't STAND the excelsior threads, and of course I've got a sense of humour - I know LOADS of knock-knock jokes. Besides, lots of people use their sense of humour as a personality substitute.

I wouldn't date me - I wouldn't get enough attention.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

must STOP self... making obvious... filthy NO... "in a pickle" jokes... that may just... apply to stevem

...

i worry about me - i just had a flash of an uber-aesthete/rockist serial killer trawling the ads for people who's taste they loathed cos they found it easier to off them.

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

bitching about Excelsior/LOL quote thread just comes across as sour grapes that you're not on it as much as you'd like to be.

and i say that as someone who doesn't get on there much these days (oh the pain)

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

Would I date me? Well, I don't know. Possibly. I would hang out with me, definintely. I suppose I need to tailor my ad things about that -would reading it make me want to contact/go out with me?

The kind of ads I like/would want to respond are people who just kind of stick out as being nonconventional, who actually talk about what they're like, rather than the usual blah blah this is my taste this is the cool stuff I've done.

x-post, no, it's not sour grapes. It's more that I'm GENUINELY perplexed by half that stuff that's on there. I read it, and I think "what's funny about that? I don't understand, I really don't."

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

it may not be sour grapes but it comes across as just that, esp. when making this much of a fuss about it.

if someone were to explain why they thought it was funny, presumably you still wouldn't find it funny.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

OK, either you can continue to misunderstand me, or you can go on the other thread and attempt to answer the question. It's up to you, but if it's the former I'm not interesting in carrying on this conversation.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I was reading the NYRB personals just before I saw this thread! My favourite ever intellipersonal was in Private Eye a month or so ago, it was two paragraphs long and invited you to book an appointment to meet the poster's client, "a lady of immense taste and sophistication", I think it was for the Queen.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

I attended several proto-intellidating events hosted by JtN at the Poetry Cafe

Heh - I managed to get dumped at one of these! DAMN YOU, THE LUCKSMITHS

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

That's not intellidating. That's just Sinister.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

People should definitely go to these things, and Report Back, what's to lose?

Nabisco haha I am consciously putting off going to graduate school until/if I am single again!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

i will never understand this sort of response.

this was a valid point:
if someone were to explain why they thought it was funny, presumably you still wouldn't find it funny.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

sometimes phrased as "honey, if you had to ask..."

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

intellidating sounds the most horrible thing ever!

it took me ages to figure out what LRB was!

most personal ads totally depress me

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

Mandy OTM with that last sentance.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

I'm giving loveandfriends.com a whirl, got to be better than match.com.

― leigh (leigh), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

me too!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to someone on that site, but perhaps I shouldn't have sent them the link to my myspace profile, oh well! You never know.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

how did the lucksmiths get markelby dumped?!

― john p. irrelevant (electricsound), Friday, 11 November 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

quite honesty, where do londoners intellidate?? it sounds interesting...

― nina, Friday, 11 November 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

he was chatting too loud and ruined the gig for his gf :(

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

It's like that bit in a Woody Allen film, can't remember which one, when he decides that he should start dating more intelligent women and he goes to an art gallery and starts chatting to this girl and eventually he says, "So what are you doing on Saturday night then?". And she says, "Committing suicide". And he says, "Well what about Friday then?".

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

yeah i realised that actually, some people who loathe themselves date all the time. oh well.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

It wasn't the Lucksmiths' fault, but having been dumped minutes earlier yet still sitting next to said ex watching them WHILE said ex was lusting after the singer was a painful experience. So they are associated with DUMPAGE in my sad little brain.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

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