I Just Bought A Copy of 'Nuts'

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

it was pretty embarrassing.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

I bought Loaded once. I feel your shame.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

why did you buy it?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

g/f's art project.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

I mean the advert alone which includes johnny vaughans annoying 'lads-mag' voice over makes me want to rip the whole fucking world to pieces.

xpost, oh right.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

Sure.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

haha, i almost told the vendor: 'IT'S OKAY REALLY I WON'T BE WANKING OVER THIS'

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

'almost' = somewhat nonstandard usage there.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Is it Sophie Howard tit-a-tit with Michelle Marsh?

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

it's sophie on her lonesome.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

You're having a wank for you girlfriend's art project?

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

Now that's true love.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

true self-love

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

The line "Nuts about women?" annoys me more than anything else on t.v just now. Yes, even more than the Phones 4 U ads.

― Rumpie, Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

Do you think it would be possible to make a genuinely entertaining non-misogynous, non-chauvinist, non-xenophobic, non-embarassingly condescending men's magazine?

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

yes

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

the editor of nuts is a fairly intelligent guy.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

I bought Loaded once. I feel your shame.

MY DAD bought me Loaded. I wonder if really had any idea what kind of magazine it was and who the target audience was. He also used to buy me FHM or whatever it's called.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

girlfriend's art project?

ha, she wants to pose topless. It's her way of telling you to send the saucy snaps into Nuts ;-)

Next week she will be asking for Zoo weekly. Soon she will be asking for Razzle and Escort.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

I wondered if he's wanked to his product.

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

The Razzle pyramid!

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

Nuts
http://nuts.co.uk/

"Bedroom Babes"

"Topless for the first Time"

...you can even buy it Sainsburys.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:59 (twenty years ago)

we are going to send the project to nuts. she already got zoo weekly.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Did you mean this "Nuts"?

ihttp://www.bjsmusic.com/nuts_dvdcover_lg01.jpg

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

No !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Do you think it would be possible to make a genuinely entertaining non-misogynous, non-chauvinist, non-xenophobic, non-embarassingly condescending men's magazine?

No, unless you mean a magazine about men's health (that isn't Men's Health) or a general lifestyle mag that appealed to women just as much. I mean the whole concept of 'men's magazine' is sold on a certain premise - crap stereotype of man as into women, cars, sport, proper music (i.e not that queer rubbish with computers). So take that away and it's no longer a 'men's mag' or rather it would be pointless to market it as that.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

dese nuts

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

http://nuts.co.uk/boards/

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

It's nice to see that your girlfriend expects help on a Thursday.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

all the quotations in the article are 'leading'. it's not much more misogynistic than grazia.

haha PJ!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

http://www.sundancemusicfestival.com/sdmf2005/images/sisu/beatnuts.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

one of the oddest things about it is the captions on the photos -- they're really 'offputting', seen? kind of snarky.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

I had a flick through a workmate's copy of Maxim the other day and to be honest I thought it was a bit better than the average men's mag. It wasn't the best thing ever but it definitely had it's tongue placed firmly in cheek when it started going on about the men/women divide etc. One article's sub-header even read something like "...because it's easier to figure women out if you stereotype them" which kinda made me laugh.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

like, one of them had a girl taking down her pants in the bathroom, and the caption read something like 'out of the way, love, i need the loo'. i mean wtf?

g/f also got GQ for the project, and it was more pitiable, in a way, because it needed to dress the whole thing up with spurious 'lifestyle' stuff and articles.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Esquire in the meantime tries to go the opposite direction and lands right on it's arse - not intelligent enough to merit reading, nor funny or raey enough to stop me falling asleep.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

i almost wrote for 'hotdog', once, when it had girls on the cover.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

i thought this was about this:

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/80/95/28m.jpg

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

that piece in the guardian about men's mags the other day was one of the most depressing things i've ever read about journalism.

― Pete W (peterw), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

i think that was what i posted. it is quite amazing, the circulation figs, when as i say they're not much cop. don't these wankers have the internets?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

but in a way this is more depressing. nuts and zoo are unpretentious at least. i don't see that GQ or esquire or arena are any different in the way they look at women.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

was reading gq/esquire at the hairdressers yesterday (forget which) and totally agree - it's the same shit, just shot like a pirelli calendar with captions by tony parsons.

― Pete W (peterw), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

"...crap stereotype of man as into women, cars, sport, proper music (i.e not that queer rubbish with computers..."

if only stevem it was that bad.

it's worse:

(from The Observer January)
__________________________________________________

The Nuts attitude is, if anything, a deliberate absence of attitude. It steers clear of opinion or any thing that might be divisive: music, say. A lot of Soutar's research was done at the extremes of the market; they wanted something, in a bland Blairite spirit, that could appeal both to 16-year- old goths and 38-year-old teachers.
____________________________________________________

so no music gets covered to any great extent (unless they've changed it in light of th' arctic monkeys!)

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1396265,00.html

(full Nuts piece)

x-post.
fck Nuts i say frankly.

― piscesboy, Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

in a way the project is about this kind of thing -- the class aspect of tit size, etc. the higher class of tit model doesn't have the grotesque knockers of your zoo weekly regulars. etc.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

the lighting/decor thing is another area. the copy of GQ she got had women all dressed as builders -- it was exactly like the video for that porny pop-house track of a couple years back, only 'arty'.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

The line "Nuts about women?" annoys me more than anything else on t.v just now. Yes, even more than the Phones 4 U ads.

There is *nothing* wrong with the Phones 4 U adverts.

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Haha "real girl of the week"

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

haha i thought you meant this:

http://www.screenselect.co.uk/images/products/7/20487-large.jpg

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

(Theorry's girlfriend otm about class/ tits (and prob even hair colour!))

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

That observer feature is pretty depressing. This: "Each of the dummy magazines was tested and modified, tested and modified until, after a dozen rounds of focus groups, they distilled exactly the mix of things that grown men in Britain most desired." I'm a grown man, and "Nuts" outlook on life is 180 degrees away from what I most desire. It makes me want to start pasting up the SCUM manifesto everywhere, actually.

Why on earth did you actually pay money for this, Henry? Couldn't you have travelled upstairs on the bus 'till you found a diuscarded copy or something?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

my bus goes to highgate, pash, i don't think you get many free copies of nuts. but also i kind of *wanted* to do it. i had considered being jokey and getting it with the london review of books or something. sometimes you have to go through these things, to know what they really are.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

i've thought about buying it just out of curiosity sometimes. like the other week when i nearly bought the Sunday Sport (i really wanted to read about the woman who gave birth to a 9lb haddock).

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

Ha, I have actually seen discarded copies of "nuts" on the bus, also its competitor, whatever that was called. I picked one up once & looked at it, but there was just nothing in it. The content was just....nothing. I put it down, and felt vaguely embarrassed to have been even glancing at it.

The sales success of this magazine just baffles me.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

i knew that all my friends and most ilx0rz would think it abhorrent, and that the vendor would sneer at me, and i suppose i found it funny, given the sheer quantity of soft porn out there in the ether, and the fact that the interweb makes practically unimaginable filth two clicks from where i am now. nuts is pretty tame.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

I'm surprised that the biggest problem with a Blairite take on things is that music doesn't get covered.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

I think I probably like NUTS more than GQ, where every article calls its subject "well-dressed" regardless of its relevance.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

... the difference being every article in Nuts calls its subject "undressed" regardless of its relevance.

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

Nuts is hilariously basic, but is the success of it really that surprising given how little removed it is from the contents of the Daily Sport? Or even the Star and the Sun?? It's tits, footy and cars. Et la!

GQ is hopelessly lost. They voted Rio Ferdinand as the UK's most stylish man. Above Jose MF Mourinho.

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Friday, 11 November 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, GQ etc are just as bad as Nuts and such. They show pictures of T&A then they just put a fashion section in which contains only jeans/trainers that cost over £400, a couple of pairs of sunglasses at £800 a pop and a stereo system worth more than most small cars to 'prove' they're highbrow and intended for a more sophisticated audience.

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

i'm amazed how much knowledge of GQ there is on here.
i wouldn't know it if it jumped off the stand and bit me on the nose.

― piscesboy, Friday, 11 November 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

I always imagine it would be more embarrassing to walk into a newsagents to buy a copy of Nuts or Zoo than it would be to buy a copy of Razzle.

I wouldn't know because I always get my copies of Razzle delivered.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

Nuts is a better and less depressing read than Glamour.

There. I said it.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

I always imagine it would be more embarrassing to walk into a newsagents to buy a copy of Nuts or Zoo than it would be to buy a copy of Razzle.

this is kind of true, yeah... or, it feels a bit 'in-between'. why *do* people buy hard-copy porn these days?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Apparently, some of the working classes *spits* can't afford computers! Let alone an internet connection! Can you BELIEVE such a thing?

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

ur kidding lol

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

... and yet they can afford to feed their kids oven chips! Tchoh!

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

[and watch sky!]

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

Nuts is a better and less depressing read than Glamour.
There. I said it.

-- Dom Passantino (juror...), November 11th, 2005.

Dom OTM

All these horrible lad mags aren't pretending to be anything other than horrible. But there are a lot of purely evil womens mags.

― Googley Asearch (Toaster), Friday, 11 November 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

Such as? Most womens mags are 99% ads.

Mmm. That is kinda evil.

― Rumpie, Friday, 11 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

grazia is really *mean*.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

Aren't they all about how ugly other women are?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

women's mags don't hate women quite as much as men's mags.

― Pete W (peterw), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

it's a tough call.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

Maybe, but you expect men to hate women (xpost)

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Generally, I avoid all this by not reading either.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Pash is a wise man, who presumably spends little time in waiting rooms.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Nuts is no more Misogynist than Heat or Now.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

probably... i've never read Nuts. Point is that Heat and Now are pretty vicious.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

Pash is a wise man, who presumably spends little time in waiting rooms.

Ha. Usually I'll take along something to read myself.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

The People's Friend perhaps?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

"..... (and His Endless Stupid Jokes)"

Sound of Sound magazine or a book, usually.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

I'm a grown man, and "Nuts" outlook on life is 180 degrees away from what I most desire.

Yeah, but Pash, Nuts isn't *for* grown men, is it? It's for Viz readers who've discovered wanking, ie 15-22 year-olds...isn't it? That's what I assumed anyway.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 11 November 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

Hey, don't you be dissing Viz!

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 November 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

Don't you be dissing on wanking!

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 11 November 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

What I don't get in these magazines is that really they're aimed at 15-18 year old market plus blokes aged over that who act like they're 15-18 and then it's all "shaving oils this..", "£5000 suit jackets that", "luxury sportscars" etc. They say that women's mags make women feel ugly, but men's mags make you feel ugly, weak, poor and highly undersexed.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

And hugely inadequate if you're not going out with someone who looks like a Hollyoaks cast member.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

Can someone start an indie men's magazine? I wld kinda buy it.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Wait is that Vice?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

select was basically a music-heavy indie men's mag wasn't it?

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

I remember a mag from a few years ago that only lasted a few issues - I think it was called "subject", or something like that.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

I've always wanted to start an indie womens' mag. I mean the US have Nylon and Aus has Frankie and we have ... nothing. My friends and I bemoan its non-existence in bars. (These are other journalist friends, which is why we discuss magazines in bars, I'm not totally sad.)Someone give me the funding and I can give you a dummy issue in four weeks flat.

I've always tried really hard to steer clear of stereotyping men's mag models as bimbos. You know, sisterhood and that ... But whilst working in the same office building as Nuts and Loaded, some colleagues and I got into the lift as two very young and very orange Jodi-types got out. "This is the first floor isn't it?" says one to the other, looking out towards offices and not a reception area. "Oh yeah" she says. Someone I'm with tries to interject and point out that, no, the first floor is some way down, but they don't hear him and merrily walk out to the fire escape. "God, there weren't this many stairs on the way up!" they exclaim. They were in a 29 storey building and had gone down one floor in the lift.You want to think the best of people and then they prove themselves to be really bloody daft.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 11 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

eleven months pass...

how do these mags sell these days? NUTS and ZOO i mean.

― pisces (piscesx), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

Nuts: 304,785 an issue
Zoo: 228,024 an issue

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

how? you have to give money to guy behind the counter. then you can take it outside (or inside the loo to masturbate).

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

then you can take it outside (or inside the loo to masturbate)

prude

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

Other men's lifestyle figures:

FHM: 420,688
Loaded: 185,268
Maxim: 146,043
~~Rapist's Charter~~GQ: 126,797
Front: 63,910
Esquire: 52,437

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

and bizarre?

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

since the internet exists, i fail to understand how these mags sell anything at all. can't teh kidxorz just add the glamour models on myspazz or whatever?

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

it's the high-quality writing, charlie.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

i assume these mags are mainly tits and "gadgets"?

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

We're stable for the current marketplace climate.

xpx2

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

Be sure to catch Dom Passantino's article on "nerd porn" in the March issue of Bizarre.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

Where is the love for ICE (is that even still going?)

― Feargal Hixxy (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

Bizarre - 65,959

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Given its placing in the list, I'm assuming that was what he meant by 'Rapists Charter'. Damn those html fuckups, eh?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

I once asked on another board whether they saw any correlation between people who still buy vinyl and people who still buy hard copy porn. Results were inconclusive

― Feargal Hixxy (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 9 November 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Given its placing in the list, I'm assuming that was what he meant by 'Rapists Charter'. Damn those html fuckups, eh?

*roll eyes smiley*

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

if nerd pr0n = geek chicks fixing PCs with their "floppies" out, i'll take a look.

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

http://nerdpr0n.com/

It's geek chicks sucking cock whilst reading Alan Moore comics.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

I guess I'd better wait til after work.

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

yo nuts and zoo sell a lot to teh students y know. nuts and zoo for boys with bad hair, heat for girls of all creed, the times for those in rugby tops and polo shirts and the guardian for "indie" types. i worked in a newsagents at a uni so there. also shocking amounts of mail and express, mainly to girls.

― pscott (elwisty), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

lol sexual hypnotism lol

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

Srsly, I don't know how these things sell when net porn is just an easy click away.

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

Paul Scott: our man on the inside.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

also at this paticular place they'd only display one copy of bizarre and that was hidden at the back. apparently it's read exclusively by paedophiles.

― pscott (elwisty), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

I don't remember Dave B getting this much stick when he wrote for When Saturday Comes.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

by and for, paul, by and for.

xpost

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

I would ask if you had no shame, Dom...but that's a terribly redundant question. Oh well.

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

I buy Bizarre.

There, I've said it.

I've actually wondered for quite a while why I still do, it's more through habit than anything else.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

You buy it for the insightful articles on Aristasia, hypnofetishism, and Myspace murder.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

Bizarre is atrocious. Uh, my gf bought it a couple of times.

FHM is probably 50% ads but surely the reason it is way ahead of it's 'rivals' is nothing to do with scantily-clad actresses and more to do with it's range of subjects covered (however slight) and probably better writing overall. It can't be a middlebrow > lowbrow thing unless FHM is much older than GQ or Maxim (at least i think these two are also middlebrow).

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

buy this instead, it's my favorite book!:

http://i.biblio.com/b/048m/82266048-0-m.jpg

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

GQ just gets my back up in a way few other things on this planet can. I buy it solely to be aggrevated.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

and for the ladies in their smalls.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

The ladies are all fucking clothed in it, unless they're SPICY LATINAS in which case they're allowed to wear nothing.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

i like women in clothes.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

but don't buy gq, it's for wankers.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

FETISH!

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

In this month's GQ: Sean Rowley's guide to the "Guilty Pleasures" that are sure to get your woman hot under the collar when you spin them on your ironic CD player in your ironic house.

Sean Rowley really needs to choke to death on a dog's cock.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

and for the ladies in their smalls.

It's fairly easy to gis "shelf bra" or "thong" or suchlike, I would have thought.

Im suppose lots of, er, "nuts"/"zoo" magazine's target audience doesn't have internet access.

The article henry was "researching" (haha) is still online, and v good, I think.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

Should I feel inadequate as a "man" that these magazines have nothing to offer me? Maybe I should buy a bunch of "gadgets" that can save me up to 4 seconds a day in shoelace tying time. But I'm sure I wouldn't be able to "bank" that time, as I'd undoubtably be too busy whacking off.
Guess I'll stick to gaming, D&D and the interwebs ;_;

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:39 (nineteen years ago)

The article henry was "researching" (haha) is still online, and v good, I think.

-- Pashmina (vietgrov...), November 9th, 2006.

uh? my g/f was doin a art project. if it's online you know before me!

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

The reason Nuts and Zoo still exist in paper form is because you can't read the Internet with your mates on the back seat of the bus on the way to school. Nor can you flash the filthiest pictures to the unsuspecting elderly couple in the car behind you.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

the voice of experience?

― pscott (elwisty), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

they must have SOME readers over 16 tho?

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

uh? my g/f was doin a art project. if it's online you know before me!

-- benrique (miltonpinski@N

Haha, oops, perhaps I'd better gain one comprehension skillz, I'd somehow got the impression that you buying "nuts" was for a guardian article. 2/10 ;_;

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant_Simulation_Video_Games

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, oops, perhaps I'd better gain one comprehension skillz, I'd somehow got the impression that you buying "nuts" was for a guardian article. 2/10 ;_;

-- Pashmina (vietgrov...), November 9th, 2006.

who d'you think i am, dom passantino?

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

i mean ronan
i mean the lex
i mean southall

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 9 November 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

Sim Ant was no Sim Farm.

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 9 November 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

why 2 brake brane bnrq?

xpost Sim Ant was great!

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Thursday, 9 November 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

they must have SOME readers over 16 tho?

My work colleagues. Mental age of 14.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 9 November 2006 15:35 (nineteen years ago)

Bizarre - 65,9598

This thread has shamed me into not buying it again.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 9 November 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

i think the mag was ever really targeted at "us" though

― secondhandnews (secondhandnews), Thursday, 9 November 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

not the future of digital publishing.

how the fuck i found myself signed up for this shit, i don't know. (well, actually, no; i think it has a lot to do with subscribing to "viz", which is still occasionally funny). anyway: this is "monkey", the electronic men's mag. and no, you've no idea how bad that really is until you click on the link.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 23 November 2006 00:37 (nineteen years ago)

(nb: i'm assuming that i have some kind of unique and unwanted subscriber reference embedded in that URL, therefore we're not giving the fuckers loads of free hits on this issue. and even if we are: well, they'll get a crushing disappointment next week, eh? the cocks.)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 23 November 2006 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

It looks like Victoria Vannucci has had a bit of a fall - and isn't entirely sure of the best way to get up again.

― Nicholas Passant (Nicholas Passant), Thursday, 23 November 2006 00:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.cerosmedia.com/product.php

Ceros is the culmination of Applecart Solutions' pioneering work in digital editions.

Conceived specifically to empower publishers to maximise the value and scope of their content, Ceros provides the tools to fully capitalise on the vast array of cost saving, revenue generating business models made possible by Ceros Digital Editions (CDE's).

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 23 November 2006 09:09 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

Arena
Bauer Media is to suspend Arena, its monthly men’s magazine, after 22 years in circulation. Bauer, who also publish FHM, have said they will look to redeploy Arena’s 12 editorial and advertising staff elsewhere within the group. Arena's suspension will not affect Homme Plus (their fashion-led brand spin-off published twice a year) and it will continue working with its partners on Arena's international editions. The last issue of the magazine (April), will go on sale on 12th March.

― bring back pepe deluxe bitch (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:41 (seventeen years ago)

http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/columnists/jimbaumbach/blog/goodbye.gif

― bring back pepe deluxe bitch (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:42 (seventeen years ago)

rip

― Jesus Lulz (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:42 (seventeen years ago)

rip dom i mean. already mourned arena elsewhere.

― Jesus Lulz (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:43 (seventeen years ago)

Getting Anthony Noguera in to run Arena and essentially turn it into FHM-lite = not clever.

― Roque Santa Gold (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:46 (seventeen years ago)

Noguera's editing peak was, what, 12 years ago?

― bring back pepe deluxe bitch (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:51 (seventeen years ago)

Thank God Homme Plus is safe.

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:54 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.arenamagazine.co.uk/images/covers/mar_09_cover.jpg

Not since Melody Maker's "Into the New Millennium with Melody Maker" final issue, with the "oops we're closing down" insert...

― Mark G, Thursday, 5 March 2009 15:16 (seventeen years ago)

four weeks pass...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/apr/02/maxim-magazine-closes-uk-print-edition

Another one bites the dust.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 2 April 2009 11:01 (sixteen years ago)

It was Maxim that propeerly kicked off the whole "Mens Magazine" boom.

― Mark G, Thursday, 2 April 2009 11:12 (sixteen years ago)

idk, loaded and rejigged fhm seemed bigger at the time.

― FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 2 April 2009 11:13 (sixteen years ago)

i think it was rejigged fhm that really changed the game. loaded was kind of indie originally.

― FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 2 April 2009 11:14 (sixteen years ago)

but yeah RIP, really gonna miss u maxim.

NOT.

― FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 2 April 2009 11:14 (sixteen years ago)

Arena's 'last' issue makes no mention of being the final issue...

― Mark G, Thursday, 2 April 2009 12:33 (sixteen years ago)

Loaded = Oasis
FHM = Blur
Maxim = Northern Uproar, except with perplexing longevity

― Matt DC, Thursday, 2 April 2009 12:49 (sixteen years ago)

One of the suppliers I pick up electrical parts for in my new job usually has a couple of copies of either "nuts" or "zoo" or wtfe on the counter, and I sometimes flip through one wheile I'm waiting for a box of fused switched spurs or suchlike. Crock of brain-dead tedious shit generally I thought, but I did notice that it seems to have this thing for printing photogs of gross injuries, like "I fell off my motorbike and severed my foot!" (several detailed somewhat nauseating close-ups of foot hanging off ankle w/bone sticking out) and then you turn the page and there's some girl with her tits out, looking rather over-photoshopped as often as not. Kind of seems really fucked up in some way to me. What kind of outlook is it supposed to represent? Kind of radgie/ballard maybe.

― Pashmina, Thursday, 2 April 2009 12:50 (sixteen years ago)

iir that's what fhm was like too

― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Thursday, 2 April 2009 12:51 (sixteen years ago)

Lads like looking at horribleness as well as tits?

― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 2 April 2009 12:52 (sixteen years ago)

Kind of radgie/ballard maybe.

loooool

― FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 2 April 2009 12:52 (sixteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.