ILE 1977: A Thought Experiment

Ahem.

A robust internet and a world wide web would have drastically changed the musical landscape, so I'd figure we'd all be talking about how this new-fangled invention was doing some seriously freaky shit to both the current music scene and accepted narratives about rock's history. (If we can have a 1977 WWW, can we also have a 1977 amazon.com? Maybe a 1977 Napster, too?) By giving every artist and every music boffin a voice available to everyone, the net would speedily fragment the rock audience to a degree that we in 2002 take for granted but in 1977 might be frighteningly anarchic.

We'd all be arguing over Linda Ronstadt, probably. Is she a soulless twerp, or does make good every once and a while? And more importantly, does she look cute in a Dodgers jacket or what?

The lot of us would be snatching up each of the Pistols singles (or MP3s, whatever) one by one, yet profess to be disappointed by Never Mind the Bollocks.

Ethan P. would create a painting of Bob Dylan fucking Betty White. In the ass. And it would be so very punk rock that he'd be playing bass for the Dead Kennedys a year later.

Another question -- who would the 1977 Momus be? (That is, the performing artist who comes onto and participates in ILx, and shares his insights?) Scott Walker?

I think it would also be informative to hear Robin, et. al. talking about P.M. Callaghan, and the emergence of a certain grocer's daughter with very nasty and philistine views. (Seriously.) And I could make cheap (and relatively contemporaneous) jokes about Nixon, rant on about how the Burger Court was pissing on the Warren Court's legacy (and this new asswipe on the Court by the name of Rehnquist), make fun of everyone who thinks that a certain loony right-wing Californian ex-actor with a dumb-looking 'do has a snowball's chance in hell in making it the White House, and bore everyone in the process.

And based on recent ILM posts, Ned would be raving about this awesome new album by this reclusive, perfectionistic one-man-band-guitar- übergod named Tom Scholz :-P

carry on.

Liverpool 3 Borussia Moenchengladbach 1

----------

Bah! [glad those days of the Mask of Red Footie Death are behind us]

Hey man, I hear some British dudes are making a Lord the Rings animation. Without Tom Bombadil! Discuss.

er....i probably shouldnt think about these things. and now you know my parents names.

I probably would at that. After all, I was only six. :-)

Swamp Dogg/Jerry Williams (who would spend a good 15% of his time on ILX complaining about being cheated out of royalties); Todd Rundgren; Lester Bangs. Definitely NOT Scott Walker. He’s not graced with the gift for self-promotion.

After uploading their MP3s onto the proto-Napster, The Baader-Meinhof gang would form a Wu-like disco collective, thereby becoming bigger than ABBA. Some us will suspect that the more pro-pop ILX members are actually B-M members in disguise.

PETER HAMMILL

"Crystal Palace will be the team of the 80s! I reckon we'll be better than Liverpool by - ooh - maybe '82, '83 ..."

exactly this date in 1977? ooh it's lovely that my grandma's here from London, I can't wait to eat my spiderman cake tomorrow, I just hope that nothing terrible happens at the Abbeydale industrial hamlet. (for the record I was trampled and knpcked unconscious by a shire horse

THAT made me larff like a DRANE?

Poor ole Cabbage.

Since when has any beer been safe (and undrunk) from Homer Simpson? His grey cell needs to swim round in something....

Another way to achieve this goal while having your celebrity transfer jones well and truly satiated is to make our Nick this man:

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGPORTRAITS/music/portrait200/drp100/p119/p11944jkg24.jpg

Trust me, this thought would make Nick a very happy boy.

As both Nick Currie and Momus, Nick-Robin-Brian would be trying to reconcile Steeleye Span with Kraftwerk.

Will Callaghan see the year out? (Should we be hoping not, seeing as Maggie would surely make mincemeat of him?)

Was That The Greatest Cup Final Ever?

oh i know this is supposed to be fun and all...

The 1960's: Classic or Patchouli?
Punks: Truly Subversive or Truly Trustfund? (see how little has changed in new york city? why go back, we are already there.)

David Berkowitz (a.k.a. Son of Sam), What's on Your Transistor Radio?

Jimmy Carter: Why is he so bad and hated?

Can we talk about how much I hate early-mid70s West Coast post-psych/pop/rock/folk-rock/country-rock?

so not gonna happen:

http://m1.freeshare.us/171fs799585.gif

This is the thread where I teach you all how to handle Rock Hardy

http://chenzhen.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/180px-time-magazine-cover-war-on-terrorism-1977.jpg

guys should I order one of these

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/27/Apple_I.jpg

TV and movie talk would be Soap, No Soap Radio, Days of Heaven, Elvis RIP.

Come Anticipate Pink Lady and Jeff

# Mary Tyler Moore: C or D? [last updated 38 seconds ago] 359 new answers

FUTURE THREAD: It's 1980. Tell me why I should vote for Jimmy Carter instead of Ronald Reagan.

Who Is This John Anderson?

# LOL means never having to say you're EXCELSIORed (Started by the bigmouth (howard cosell ha ha), last updated 4 hours ago] 65 new answers

T/S: Are You Being Served? vs. Fawlty Towers

I feel confident that Brian Eno will NEVER produce a bad album.

Shaving yr pubic hair: D/D?

omg my Dad just bought me an Austin Allegro

# my friend's husband has suddenly started wearing her clothes and now she wonders: could such a thing be heredetary? (Started by Mrs. J4gger)

# copying vinyl records: can it be done? (Started by Mike Borghardt Sr.)

- National Front - Why are they so bad and hated?

It's pre-AIDS and all the hot young(ish) studs and studettes are porking their brains out.

why is everyone else getting more action than me?

i'm glad we can watch TV on the net and won't even have to decide between VHS and Beta

OMGZZZ YOU GUYZ, it's the rolling Six Million Dollar Man Series 3 anticipation thread (2327 answers)

Y'know guys, as bad as that Vietnam thing was, I believe we've learned valuable lessons that will stay with us for generations to come.

(accuracy police, they say, that should be Series 5 - started sep 1977)

Brit/Jubilee Awards: the Stones wuz robbed!

Let's anticipate the career of this unknown oil industrialist, who met an unknown librarian at a barbecue (and they married this year too).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Bush#Marriage_and_family

> i'm glad we can watch TV on the net and won't even have to decide between VHS and Beta

did they even have vhs and betamax in 1977? (wikipedia = yes, 75 for beta, 76 for vhs)

http://www.rewindmuseum.com/philips.htm (search for 1977) weird-ass square tapes called 'VCR'. video2000 was three years away, laserdisc was the new thing.

i was caesar in our jubilee celebrations in 77, britain through the ages. tied in with the four houses we had at school too - romans (blue), saxons (yellow), vikings (green) and normans (red).

Atari VCS - What's yr favourite game variant for Space Invaders?

ilx fetuses unite!

Upcoming Arthouse Double Features

Do YOU speak Jive?

buses existed in 1977.

the rolling your parents thread

(ha ha, rolling your parents)

ILE 1952 -Imagine that Internet and WWW technology was available to us schlubs tw.... etc etc

- Punk Names: S/D
- TS: Paradise Garage vs. Studio 54
- yo is it true dj hollywood got sonned* by a wite kid after a mainframe dialup beef?

* = whatever the 1977 equivilent of "sonned" would be

In all likelihood, my listening habits would perfectly mirror the first few chapters of Rip It Up. I can totally see myself raving about Subway Sect and this new record store called Rough Trade.

The Sid & Marty Croft Poll

The rolling "Sid Vicious arrested for drugs again today" thread.

What's Your Handle? The CB Radio Thread

So am I the only one who sorta thinks this Disco thing might burn out in the mainstream in a pretty ugly way here?

1977? Who's got the quaaludes/black beauties/poppers/coke? Get rid of this person I picked up in a bar, I'm tired of him. Body glitter! Marry someone to get him a green card! OH NOES!!! BROKEN HEART!!!!

"dude, my next door neighbor is in this band and they wear flower pots on their heads. they're performing at some datapanik thingy in front of the cuyahoga river as it's burns. bitchin!"

I have just registered that on ILX 1977 we are all Tuomas.

there was no such thing as Finland back then

The Moomins hadn't discovered it.

Who else has seen the light and is coming to the People's Temple in Jonestown, Guyana? It's paradise!

oh, how many sassy young ILXers round here these days weren't even CLOSE to being born in 1977 ...

I wasn't. But imagine that Doctor Casino was available to you schlubs eight years ago - think how much more brilliant this thread would have been!