Golden Globes follies 2006

Halle Berry - Their Eyes Were Watching Me
Kelly MacDonald - The Girl in the Cafe
S Epatha Merkerson - Lackawanna Blues
Cynthia Nixon - Warm Springs
Mira Sorvino - Human Trafficking

Kung Fu Hustle, hatas.

oh yay felicity huffman!!!!

Why was Phillippe yelling at Phoenix?

Who knew Desperate Housewives was a comedy? I thought it was just Bad Intentional Camp, i.e. comedy for Chelsea boys.

exactly. although ive never watched a whole episode. they just arent pretty enough.

also, im still confused over 'walk the line' being classed as a musical. isn't 'musicals' the genre where people break into song for no apparent reason? It did cross my mind that perhaps the producers/publicists whatever struck a deal to have it classed as a musical because it would more likely win in that category rather than a drama category against brokeback mountain.

Damn, how did Jonathan Elvis Myers look when he won, or was he even there?

fashion - I liked Gwyneth's dress (Balenciaga) despite.. uh, it being her wearing it. Same for Sarah Jessica Parker (Rochas!!) Natalie Portman's dress was fantastic (didn't like the shoes though).

Vanessa Paradis is so cool. Adrian Brody = WTF, but kind of neat.

Oh, here we go! this guy is awesome!
http://cache.eonline.com/Features/Awards/Golden2006/Popup/Pics/Images/5.jpg

Did no one but me notice that there were huge boobs everywhere! I was in shock! I loved that Harrison Ford was so flummoxed by Virgina Madsen's boobs that not only could he not talk at the beginning of his presentation but when he was finished speaking he immediately turned and stared at her chest. Did anyone else notice that? Too funny. I guess he is not used to seeing breasts like that given that he dates Calista Flockhart with her 14 year old boy body. Even Emma Thompson, who is not huge breasted, was JUST verging on showing us her nipples. FANTASTIC. And Drew Barrymore with her see-through green dress with no bra? Such a shame too, because those things are FALLING and were hanging almost around her waist. You can't even find a photo of her from last night, it was so obscene. Her headlights were looking right at me and then she turned on the highbeams! I was blinded! Melanie Griffth, Rachel Weisz, Scarlett Johanssen, Geena Davis, Camryn Manheim, Queen Latifah, Michelle Williams, the list goes on and on. Seriously though, that was like watching a Russ Meyer movie, as Seinfeld once said. I know I am acting like a 14 year old boy myself, but it overwhelmed me.

I kept watching solely out of interest as to whose tetas were going to come straight at me next! Though sadly as the evening wore on, the huge boob ratio seem to dwindle into little skinny minny waifs (Renee, Nicolette, Emmy (whoever the hell she is), the aforementioned Vanessa, Jessica Alba etc.) that I would like to force feed lard too. Yeah you like that don't you? Again with the 14 year old boy antics.....

xpost- Apparently Depp's excuse is that he actually came to the show directly from where he is currently filming two sequels to "Pirates of the Caribbean".

I wonder if Jonathan Rhys-Meyers has a coke problem?

I wish there had been more drunken foolishness and gushiness. I liked George Clooney's JACK Abram-OFF joke, though, and I thought it was funny when Ryan Phillipe affectionately pounded on Reese Witherspoon's back and kinda pushed her to the stage when her name was announced.

I wish Heath Ledger had won, he looked so cute. Everytime they cut to him he was chewing his cud nervously.

I'm so glad all those Desparate Housewives got shut out by Mary-Louise Parker.

I would like to wager that messrs Phoenix, Meyers and Dillon were all suspicioualy clammy-looking and over (or under) talkative. Little Meyers was practically chewing his face off!

I wish Larry David had won.

It's all the coke I've been doing...

The Most Viewed Picture at Yahoo. At least in the U.S.A.

hot DAMN. now that's the kind of Yahoo i like.

also i gotta see this drew barrymore dress!

http://eur.news1.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/xp/cartoon/20050503/21/3988358899.jpg

Avoid "To Do The Monkey" with the Africans "To Do THE DONKEY with the farmers and "To Do THE FOOL" with the British.

Helluva knee-slapper there.

xpost,
I also found myself constantly wondering who these people are. Then MelGriff said something about Tippi Heddron, and I was like, "Right, the original drummer for the Clash."

HE'S GAY! A GAY MAN CAN TOUCH A LADY WHEREEVER THE HELL HE WANTS AND THE WOMEN USUALLY DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE. Unless you are a Christian fundamentalist - then I guess you feel all dirty.

xpost- Apparently Depp's excuse is that he actually came to the show directly from where he is currently filming two sequels to "Pirates of the Caribbean".

EXCUSES EXCUSES. Ryan Phillippe flew that day from freakin' Toronto where he's shooting a movie and he didn't look that rough. Neither did Reese. I think they might just be going the hobo route.

There is actually a better one of Scarlett where you can actually see how high her "shelf" is. I think I will see if I can find and post it. I don't care one way or another for her but she looked so fine last night I'd like to lick her like a lolly. I really need to start repressing that 14 year old boy in my head I think.

http://www.cinematical.com/2006/01/16/golden-globes-put-a-bra-on-drew/

I love that of the 15 or so photos of Mariah I have seen online only ONE of them shows her from the front - otherwise she is all over-the-shoulder trying to be cute. Nice try you old 'ho, we ain't buying it.

I AM MORE THAN AWARE. And usually I am fine with it, being a dirty rockin' hobo myself. It is just that it is getting OUT OF CONTROL. Don't be such a smartass.

of course it's pronounced Antony.

That photo above STILL does not do Drew justice. There was bouncing jiggling nippling craziness going on. You would have to see the nice clear video to understand the controversy. J. Lo might have been more transparent, but this was much more porno.

xpost yeah she seems respectable and cute to me, not at all porno.

BTW I had no idea everyone in Hollywood besides Drew Barrymore was pregnant. WTF Gwyneth and Rachel Weisz and Alanis?

xpost

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a46/Allaboutthebarrymore/page_4111137489965.jpg

drew is teh cuet

Emma Thompson & Melanie Griffith? (or am I mistaking/insulting?)

no, no i'm not.

The Lion in Winter (1968)
The Looking Glass War (1969)
Hamlet (1979)
The Great Inimitable Mr. Dickens (1970)
The Three Sisters (1970)
Young Winston (1972)
War and Peace (1972)
A Doll's House (1973)
The Girl from Petrovka (1974)
QB VII (1974)
Juggernaut (1974)
Dark Victory (1976)
The Lindbergh Kidnapping Case(1976)
A Bridge Too Far (1977)
Audrey Rose (1977)
Magic (1978)
International Velvet (1978)
Mayflower: The Pilgrims' Adventure (1979)
The Elephant Man (1980)
A Change of Seasons (1980)
The Bunker (1981)
Peter and Paul (1981)
Othello (1981)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1982)
A Married Man (1983)
The Bounty (1984)
Hollywood Wives (1985)
Guilty Conscience (1985)
Mussolini And I (1985)
The Good Father (1985)
84 Charing Cross Road (1987)
Desperate Hours (1990)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Freejack (1992)
Chaplin (1992)
The Efficiency Expert (1992)
Spotswood (1992)
Howards End (1992)
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
The Remains of the Day (1993)
Shadowlands (1993)
Legends of the Fall (1994)
The Road to Wellville (1995)
Nixon (1995)
Surviving Picasso (1996)
Amistad (1997)
The Edge (1997)
The Mask of Zorro (1998)
Meet Joe Black (1998)
Instinct (1999)
Titus (1999)
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (voice only)
The Devil and Daniel Webster (2001)
Hannibal (2001)
Hearts in Atlantis (2001)
Red Dragon (2002)
Bad Company (2002)
The Human Stain (2003)
Alexander (2004)
Proof (2005)
The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
All the King's Men (2006)
Harry and the Butler (2006)
Bobby (2006)
Young Hannibal: Behind the Mask (2006) (voice only)
Beowulf (2007)
Papa (2006/2007)

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060117/482/gga27401170221

Hobo Love (they both look BAD)

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060117/ids_photos_en/r1648986331.jpg

Sorry I couldn't help rhyming there. Apologies also for not just sticking the photos right in, but I am not computer literate enough to sort that kind of thing out. Plus I am at work, and should be working.

Is Scarlett J really THAT hot for a Hollywood strumpet, or is it just her extreme youth that has you pudknockers atwitter?

Wait, don't answer that (Raquel Welsh, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Brigitte Bardot....I get it I get it - call it a rhetorical question).

I thought Scarlett went a little too far where you're like OK nice strategic career move, I guess, but the dress is nothing special.

...
ok then

xp

woot!

This dress is great! But she looks a little...pass out-y.

(And I am not her.)

Anyway, here is my celeb/fashion run down:

Most of the women seemed to be wearing either white with silver trim dresses, black Madonna circa 1986 dress, or red. BORING. I know they’re saving the good dress for the Oscars but still. However, some people did it right:

1. Swanky! Way to bring it with the halter and longish hair. foxy!
http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/1689/swanky2bd.jpg

2. Scarlett - Nice red for the pale skin. Good to see someone not fake tanning themselves. And of course the boobie balcony rocks.
http://img499.imageshack.us/img499/9241/scarjo9cy.jpg

3. I hate to say it, because someone needs to slap this bitch back to 1993, but Emma Thompson may have worn the dress of the night (her arrival outfit - did she change later?). Absolutely beautiful dress (I’m assuming that is a faux fur stole) that she wore very ho-hum-ly.
http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/208/thommo1mt.jpg

4. Mary Louise thingy – Very cute! Almost catholic school girl from the side.
http://img471.imageshack.us/img471/1755/marylouise0qx.jpg

5. Michelle Williams – Sure she stole the aussie away from the other aussie but that’s ok because shes super cute. This dress looks like a moonflower, no?
http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/6325/michwilliams9md.jpg

And some people really fucked it up:

1. Geena Davis. Not surprising. Please someone kill taffeta.
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9068/davis5gx.jpg

2. Emmy Rossum - Insert typical toilet roll holder with added poop color comment here.
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/7673/rossum7tz.jpg

3. Hiedi Klum – Saggy supermodel. Please stop. Just because your boyfriend is ugly doesnt mean you need to be.
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/7673/rossum7tz.jpg

4. Drew Barrymore’s dress had every element required in the making of a disaster but turned out looking H-O-T if you focus on the top half. Otherwise, blech.
http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/6640/drew5xt.jpg

5. What?
http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/4537/chloe0rk.jpg

Love it or hate it dress:
Teri Hatcher. I can’t decide if this dress is stunning or if I want to slide an envelope between her butt cheeks. Don't forget the extra postage.
http://img499.imageshack.us/img499/7773/hatchi9wj.jpg

Extra Awards:

HI! I turned into a crazy old man! Award - Harrison Ford
http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/4835/harrison7qo.jpg

HI! Im just plain scary! Awards - Three way tie:
http://img374.imageshack.us/img374/9143/scaryknightley9ba.jpg

http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/4426/scaryed5wa.jpg

http://img466.imageshack.us/img466/8511/scaryhouse8fh.jpg
Hi, House!

Hottest Porn Star who is really quite ugly doesnt makeup rule award: JJ:
http://img78.imageshack.us/img78/5498/jennajameson2am.jpg
dy-no-mite

I pwn everyone at this stupid awards show award:
http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/3051/mk5bt.jpg

http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/5613/klum0bv.jpg

Wrong. At least she's toning the lipstick down.

x-post

yeah theyre all with the eyes and the hair and the bones except i think one is 4ft and the other is 6ft. hard to tell in photos.

i feel bad i called seal ugly now. i just hate his music so much.

I don't hate Johnny Depp! I love him! I love his dirty rock star look and his kooky clothes and characters and that he has never played the typical Hollywood game! But what used to be sexy dirty boy is now becoming smelly old man and it's CONCERNING me. I am CONCERNED. And isn't Keira in those same movies and therefore would be just as jet lagged blah blah blah. She's another one I'd like to forcefeed and find her pretty pukey, but she still managed to pull herself together. Johnny does not look pulled together and neither does his wife. Causing my aforementioned concern.

I don't hate Johnny Depp! I love him! I love his dirty rock star look and his kooky clothes and characters and that he has never played the typical Hollywood game! But what used to be sexy dirty boy is now becoming smelly old man and it's CONCERNING me. I am CONCERNED. And isn't Keira in those same movies and therefore would be just as jet lagged blah blah blah. She's another one I'd like to forcefeed and find her pretty pukey, but she still managed to pull herself together. Johnny does not look pulled together and neither does his wife. Causing my aforementioned concern.

(and yes, "tricia" is indeed tricia. i've lured her over here since she sends me crazy-awesome emails while she's bored at work and ILE is a place that welcomes this sort of behaviour with open arms. the only thing i feared was some sort of ally/trish thread-off, since i've met you both and you are both awesome and IMO very alike, and could become either a collective super-power posting tag-team or
bitter enemies!)

so you all be nice to tricia!

as a woman, i love it. i would never put my tits all over the screen mySELF, but i like to look at big, beautiful breasts.

:)-8-

I don't have CRAZY standards of cleanliness, in fact I like my men to smell a bit like men. And in fact I had the privilege of sitting in a subway car with a real life hobo just the other day. And I know Rob, the original hobo. He can also attest to the fact that I myself am sometimes smelly.

All I know is that six months to a year ago, Johnny was still looking good, even with pirate beard etc, but I have noticed recently badly nicotine stained teeth and craggy face wrinkles and dishevelment and the overall look being "I have not washed in weeks" as opposed to "I have not washed in two days". There is a difference. And as I said, it is concerning me. Maybe I am just paying more attention to him than I used to. I have certainly liked older Johnny though better than 21 Jump Street Johnny - I used to have a poster of 21JSJohnny in my bedroom in my teen years, and recently I saw a photo of him circa that era and laughed my ass off at how silly he looks. I like grungy, TRUST ME, but there are limits, and Johnny looks on the verge of crossing it. I used to love Harrison too, but ever since he dumped his wife and hooked up with the 14 year old boy body that is Calista and continues to do action movies like he's Ben Affleck or something, I have kind of lost my interest. I don't like it when sex objects go bad. It makes it more difficult to find someone to fantasize about while I'm having sex with my boyfriend. KIDDING. (maybe...)

Ally and I will play nice Rob, no need for you to referee. She gave the diss and I told her not to be a smartass, all is well. If we are alike, she will in fact like me better for calling her on it. And I like her better just for the diss. Peace out to Ally!

P.S. apologies about the dupe – the stupid thing wasn’t working when I tried the first time and then whomp there it is (twice).

x-post

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/movie_pix/golden_globes/golden_globes_2006_arrivals_photos/rachel_weisz/gg06arrival_g.jpg

not a good look for Rachel Weisz

I didn't realize that they're doing a remake of Rosemary's Baby.

Emmy Rossum is that chick from The Phantom of the Opera! No wonder why she looked familiar but I thought she was fluff. She IS.

It's okay to lust after her too, she's 19 according to imdb. I think she's pukey as well, but I have accepted long ago that there is a long list of ladies that men think are hot whose faces I think need smashing in.

Though Gwyneth's boobs still seem non-existent pretty much. Maybe it's her crazy macro-biotic diet that's starving her baby. (oh, that was a low blow on my part methinks.)

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/movie_pix/golden_globes/golden_globes_2006_arrivals_photos/natalie_portman/gg06arrival_g3.jpg

OK OK I confess. I am actually a 79 year old gay man living in Kentucky. I like Billy Ray Cyrus (for his cute pa-toot), the smell of bluegrass in the morn, and getting 18 year old boys drunk off of Amaretto (makes'em taste extra sweet!).

Check out this photo from gofugyourself of this CRAZY GG outfit. She's from some tv tab show.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/morganzola/56601582.jpg

-- Tricia Smith (simplytris...) (webmail), Today 5:22 PM. (later)

you're fun!

ILX rule No.1: You can't win with logic.

And I shall defend Rachel Weisz to the end. Swoooon.

Ned - If you think I am a good soul, clearly you do not know me. I have fooled you all once again! HA HA HA HA HA!

J Blount - Poonhound?....Seriously? I don't know if I am more disturbed by that word or more disturbed that Ned has not defended himself. And I mean disturbed in a good way.

i'm starting to feel this way about scarlett. great tits, but...

Also, I predict that Natalie Portman ages better than wine. She is going to be even hotter ten years from now. I promise.

And yeah - Gwenyth and Chris Martin make up my least favorite celeb couple by a SIGHT. Seal and Heidi are tolerable, mostly b/c I love him but really don't like her.

ScarJo is pretty but in a slightly "wedding magazine model" kind of way. I don't know how to describe it better than that. I like her well enough and haven't got a problem with her, she's just kind of like...she should be wearing a wedding dress and pretending to smile at some generic Tom Brady type, holding a bouquet. She doesn't really look like a famous actress, I guess is my point here, but not in a way that would be "interesting" or whatever it is people say to describe people like Maggie Gyllenhaal.

She is what I like to call a "pod person" being one that is devoid of strong emotion, or emotion in general. Can you imagine her crying, or being really really angry, and in a fit of giggles, or yelling or getting into mischief or anything else? Everything is so toned down and subdued. She would be the perfect person to pick a fight with, because she seems so vapid that she just couldn't be bothered to fight back. So it's best if I never meet her then....

She doesn't really bug me, and as I said, I think she looked smokin' at the GGs, but that being said I think she would suck in bed - being a pod person she would just lie there and look bored. No one wants to sleep with a dead fish, ScarJo. Please come out of your coma.

(Of course I suppose the flip side to the pod person is the psycho bi-polar personality type of a Lindsay Lohan, but that again is going to extremes in the exact opposite way. I do not want ScarJo to go that far. No one should go that far. Drama drama drama. It will kill you.)

she strikes me as nonplussed by the vapidity that surrounds her

who me? i think it's possible i'd like her a lot if i met her, but until such time she doesn't much pique my interest

She looks like the Joker in that picture! And I think she's pretty otherwise, so that is really bad makeup.

Yeah, I have. That was great.

that blonde hair, it just aint right.

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/2738/gg63119zq.jpg

http://img482.imageshack.us/img482/1402/ggnbcuni56on.jpg

actually she almost looks like jessica biel until she smiles.

xpost x3

x-post

oh macaulay is alright

that was funny, that part.

The new E! team of Ryan Seacrest, Giuliana DePandi and Isaac Mizrahi was dumber, uglier and rattlesnake meaner than the last red carpet team... Rather than simply make small talk with the arrivals, [they] seemed to be trying to bring everybody down a peg, or several pegs.

You may find this unbelievable, you might even find it absurd, but there was in fact a time when Americans expected celebrities to represent our best aspirations. Even though, deep down, everyone knew that was an unrealistic and even unfair expectation, they clung to it anyway because was a necessary social myth, part of the fabric of 20th century life, and an illustration of what the word “etiquette” actually means: not a manifestation of naivete, not a lampshade drape that gives Blanche DuBois permission to feel pretty, not an indicator of insincerity or phoniness, but the glue that holds daily life together; the thing that makes it possible to get through 24 hours without wanting to kill somebody; the thing that separates us from, say, jackals...

When [my stepmother] says there was a better time than this, all she’s asking for is a bare minimum of decency. The minimum being exemplified by, say, engaging with, but not reflexively insulting, the celebrities you’ve been assigned to cover; making charming, smart, perhaps obliquely racy small talk with them (for a master class in the latter, see Johnny Carson) rather than putting them on sexual display and habitually mocking and diminishing them and generally acting like snotnosed American children in London trying to get a reaction from the palace guard by making fart noises. That sort of thing.

My stepmother, a jazz musician, isn’t interested in contemporary pop culture because she thinks it does not respect itself and we don’t respect it, and that those two mutually reinforcing realities contribute, in some small but tangible way, to the degradation, the emptiness, the rampant materialism, the sheer animal crudeness of so-called modern life. And you know what? She's right. This telecast was proof. Our celebrities represent us; most of them are mediocrities, and we hate ourselves for filling our minds with their plasticine images, and that that's why we encourage our media proxies to abuse them...

I’m not saying that certain celebrities aren’t trivial or stupid. I’m not saying that the rich and famous don’t deserve to have their bubbles punctured. I’m not saying this country, indeed the world, isn’t better off for the sexual and philosophical revolutions of the postwar era. And I’m not saying that E!’s Golden Globes arrival coverage is what’s wrong with America.

But I am saying that if you want to know why you feel disgusted when you think about what passes for The Culture, Monday night's red carpet walk isn't a bad place to look.

http://mattzollerseitz.blogspot.com/2006/01/genie-was-right.html

Reese Witherspoon's gown wasn't vintage - though it had been worn by another actress three years ago.

Photos published this week showed the Golden Globe winner wearing the same glittery Chanel cocktail dress that Kirsten Dunst had worn to the awards in 2003.

Witherspoon, the best actress in a musical or comedy winner for "Walk the Line," was seen asking Chanel President Maureen Chiquet at an after-party why she wasn't told the gown already had a public outing, Women's Wear Daily reported.

Gretchen Fenton, publicist for Chanel, told The Associated Press the fashion house was "unaware" that Dunst, star of the "Spider-Man" movies, had worn the dress.

The fashion house apologized for "the oversight."

"We are honored that Reese chose to wear Chanel and thought she looked beautiful," the company said in a statement. "We congratulate her on her well-deserved win."

Witherspoon believed the gown - in a champagne color with metallic trim on the bust - was vintage, her publicist, Nanci Ryder, was reported as telling the New York Post in Wednesday's editions.

"Reese was told the dress was vintage," Ryder was quoted as saying. "It was not. I'm not angry - just a little disappointed, but the big deal is Reese won the Golden Globe."

A press release from the company on celebrities wearing Chanel gowns to the Golden Globes had described the dress as vintage. Fenton said the gown is from the 2002 couture collection and isn't considered vintage.

Still, Fenton said, the term vintage, long used to classify dresses from bygone eras, has become "very vague" and is a "new way" to define apparel not available in recent designer collections.

The snafu is "embarrassing for both Reese and Chanel," celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch told the AP, calling Witherspoon "a victim of people just not doing their job correctly."

"She was a victim of fashion powers that be," he said.

Ryder and her designer-loving clients, who include Jennifer Lopez and Renee Zellweger, will continue to support Chanel, said publicist Leslie Sloan, who works with Ryder at the Baker Winokur Ryder publicity firm.

The Golden Globe Awards were presented Monday in Beverly Hills, Calif.

Just my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary.