Mystery Science Theater 3000: C/D, S/D.

So gloriously fucking classic it hurts, period, etc. To explain why -- I always loved really bad movies, they're great. Seeing bad movies trashed by people who obviously had brains but weren't afraid of cheap shots either seemed like perfection, and the fact that the perpetrators were seemingly calm Minnesotans who had a clear and total loathing for bullshit of all sorts -- societal, cultural, political, philosophical - - made it all the more fun. Still my favorite ever TV show.

Search -- um, everything. Some episodes you don't need to see as many times, though, and sometimes ones that weren't as great initially become great with time. My Top Ten List At Present:

Manos, The Hands of Fate -- "Honey, I'm scared." "Of WHAT?"

The Starfighters -- "Bob Dornan, wild at heart."

Mitchell -- "She was going to smell like beer sooner or later."

Teenage Strangler -- "I didn't steal no bike neither!"

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank -- "My nuts?"

Red Zone Cuba -- "You and your swank restaurant and your chichi frog's legs!"

Agent From H.A.R.M. -- "There's the windup...and there's the smarm!"

Werewolf -- "C'mon, dead people know what's going to happen next!"

The Starfighters -- "I like coffee."

Pod People -- "Trumpy! You can do MAGIC things!"

Subject to change, but that's a good starter pack right there, along with Eegah!, Jack Frost, Parts: The Clonus Horror, Monster a Go-Go, The Girl in Gold Boots...

Search

Favorite Episode Available on Rihno: I Accuse My Parents or Catalina Caper. Favorite Episode Overall: Alien From L.A.. Favorite Short: The Days of Our Years. Favorite Riff Sequences: The Beau Brummels at the Whiskey-A-Go-Go in Village of the Giants and Fat Linda Rondstadt in The Incredible Melting Man. Favorite Riff: The Albert Goldman/Greil Marcus ref in The Pod People and the "...Massapequa, Massapequa Park, Amityville, Copaigue, Lindenhurst and Babylon. Change at Jamaica for..." line in The Beatniks.

Destroy

The fifteen-minute promo they did for Nintendo; the "sandwich" sketch at the end of The Undead; the long string of lesbian jokes in Racket Girls; and, ultimately, the movie, which while v. good, probably should never have been made; and finally, the various asinine copyright issues that pretty much will ensure its limited availability in non-bootleg form to future generations.

Herein a mystery -- what is this? Given that they're such gaming addicts I'm not surprised they did it...

But if I'm being honest, I love nearly every one. The only one I think I would destroy is Hamlet, because the adaptation was so static and dull it was hard to make jokes from.

I brought the subject up because I think it's high time we discussed it at length. A lot of Americans on ILx are pretty vocal about their MST3K-love, but for obvious reasons, much of the UK posse have never even seen the show. Those who have only know the Sci-Fi era shows (and can't get Rhino tapes, either), so they're only getting part of the fun.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Comedy-Central purist at all. The primary reason I got slowly peeved at the AOL NY MST3K contingent was because they were by and large vehemently Anti-Mike, going on and on about how the show was a bunch of boring crap now and how cute and sexy Joel was. I just couldn't see it. Admittedly, though, by the time MST3K left CC, the show's early, woozy charm had long faded away -- but it was replaced by something else that, while slick, was still awfully entertaining. (Charm isn't everything.) At the other end of the history spectrum, the KTMAs aren't bad at all, but all woozy charm and few laffs. Still, that won't matter if you're already a fan.

The worst movie they ever did was, easily, Monster A Go-Go. Scroungily overamped "What'd I Say"-rip at the beginning, but looooong stretches of black & white nothingness punctuated by perhaps the most infuriating cinematic anticlimax ever. Next in line is Manos: The Hands of Fate. It's my impression that MST3K almost single-handedly velcroed this flick onto the Canon of Bad Movies, and that's a good thing, because it's a startling artifact with a great story behind it.

Favorite Sci-Fi-era Episode: Jack Frost. Indeed, every episode involving a children's movie is sterling.

Best Acting in a MST3K Episode: Beverly Garland reads the riot act to The Celery From Outer Space in It Conquered The World. Bela Lugosi tells a fellow scientist off in Bride of the Monster.

Crow vs. Crow: Trace-Crow is more neurotic, Bill-Crow is more snide, yet once Bill got in the groove, I seriously think they were in equal in goodness.

Joel vs. Mike:

Extraneous thought: if in some alternative universe Catalina Caper was a good, no, GREAT movie, the Avalanches' album would be its soundtrack. Perhaps we could kindly suggest to Tim Burton a remake...

I was going to throw in a link to the article with all the info, but dammit, it's expired! Your vision of a new Catalina Caper thrills and disturbs my soul.

i is brit and loving the mst3k. it can grate if you're not in the right mood, but fuck that for a game of toy soldiers. I also liked the film (riffing on This Island Earth -- fave bit is when the alien is explaining about the fate of his planet "a-huh, yeah, yup... got ya... a-huh"

Anyway, I adored the show. Was a staunch Mike defender in the Mike v. Joel days, now I'm not so sure. Favorite bit (of all time): "Are You Happy In Your Work?"

Colin -- yeah, I remember you were torgotback@aol.com, but the stalking? No, not that.

The boards also attracted a number of true mental cases, most unforgettably KeijiKJ. He was similar to Gondola Blob in that he indulged in casebook net.kook behavior: delusions of professionalism, snottily dismissive of any random thing, threw around the word "clique" a lot. I've even heard stories that he scared the bejesus out of BB members during the first con. I personally had a thoroughly pointless argument with him about the population of the cities in California.

Concerning Mike, I'll say this: there are quite a few times during the Sci-Fi-era when he seemed to be sending out his performance via Fed Ex. Sad, because it was clear after CC he was capable of much better. But you know, a lot of the Sci-Fi-era episodes that initially seemed kinda minor and kinda eh to me now strike me as being thoroughly solid.

I'm waiting on Mike's next collection of essays and novel myself. The Megacheese collection was a scream.

Stalking resulted from an unfortunate IRL encounter with a nice enough person. I thought it was a lovely afternoon, she thought it was TRUE LOVE FOREVER. Eek. The story resolved harmlessly enough -- she found TRUE LOVE FOREVER again with another MSTie, and this time it was returned.

MST3K was never that big a part of my life - I watched it sporadically, and I always seemed to be in the wrong state of mind to truly enjoy it. I'll side with the Joel phreex, though, just because bald is sexy. (I'm getting sexier by the minute.)

But wasn't Mike balder than Joel? I'm confused. No matter. I'm balder than both, and I agree with David.

I think that my slight preference for Joel has something to do with a sense that the guy's a bit . . . off, where Mike is merely charming and funny.

But yes, Mike has the angst in there somewhere. He just tempers it very beautifully -- thus his legendary turn as Morrissey.

To add to the book recommendations -- Mike N.'s general essay book Mind Over Matters is another fine read (the TV essay alone is some kinda genius, the mock 19th century novel even more so), while I very much liked Kevin Murphy's A Year at the Movies. Chris Piuma mentioned he felt it was fairly Joe Queenan-like and therefore not as distinct as it could be, but I think it was handled very well and worked as both microstudy of the moviegoing experience and general reflection. Certainly any of the ILF/film-going hounds on this board should consider reading/borrowing a copy, at least. Then there's Mike's new novel Death Rat, which I really need to order next month...

And praise to all the other castmembers doing things and the continual rolling out of more DVDs, though apparently Rhino says they've exhausted what they have the rights to right now and are looking into securing more, hopefully...

"Bad touch."
"Does this mean I like guys now?"
"I feel ill."
"Spanking time!"

http://www.mst3kinfo.com/satnews/catalog/Basement.htm
http://www.mst3kinfo.com/daddyo/images/mrb5.JPG

Keep in mind that the fidelity on these files is sometimes suprisingly good considering the size, and sometimes fairly bad, but even the worst files usually have more than enough detail for a person to get what's going on.

I'm hoping the DVD is a Santa Claus vs. The Martians/Santa Claus double fun pak. It is going to come out late 2003, after all.

Later I may want to say something about MST3K in light of Mark's venting on Zappa, but right now I want to go to Central Park and maybe the Malevich exhibit before it starts raining (again).

goooch....goooch....

This show got me through middle school.

(current space on home PC C-Drive abt 700meg, it are old and small)

"Santa Claus, you're coming with us!"
"You're coming to town."

Because I'm not funny. And neither are you.

Fave all time moment ever, from any episode -- this snippet from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, delivered and timed JUST RIGHT:

MARTIAN: "What soft, and round, and you put it on the end of a stick --"

SERVO: "An elf?"

MARTIAN: "-- and green?"

SERVO: "Oh, a DEAD elf."

Chris Fujiwara (sounding a little prim), here.

Gamera Vs. Guiron is one of my most underrated favorites, with the Gamera song, Cornjob and the Zabriske Point ref. The "Hello/Thank You" scene with the mothers is my #1 funniest MST3K moment.

We both idly comment on stupidity of movie showing and the commentary from Joel + robots. Go back to reading book/half-watching.

15 minutes later - 'actually, this isn't that bad'

10 minutes later - we have both decided this is the best show ever created

I salute you!

I am still in fact missing Gamera Vs. Guiron, though happily I've seen it a number of times -- that along with Gamera Vs. Gaos, It Conquered the World and four season six entries are now the only things I'm missing from season two on...

ignoring realities of production? tedium?

I think Fujiwara scores some good points, but yes of course we must give no quarter to a fun-hater.

The show made me laugh but I can't love it.

(...when -- you want -- the flavor of bacon -- in a dip.)

The thing I like abt Fujiwara's thing (and yes I do realize what a humorless piece of writing it is [but bits make me laugh out loud so eh]) is that it's about giving a shit, about not letting something slide. He thinks the whole enterprise was deeply, offensively unfunny, and that seemed like a rare and valuable enough er perspective w/r/t ile & mst.

I have a strong affection for cranks and fuddy-duddies.

Now, railing about MST3K in its own style -- responding to it and heckling it -- that could be clever enough to be worth the time.

And when they *did* do that, as happened with the Little Golden Statuette thingummybob, it actually undercut a lot of the claims MST3K could make to somehow being a subversive force battling against whiteelephantHollywoodbullshit because the special arguably ended up being essentially more hype for the Oscars and the Hollywood machine.

IIRC, the central reason for Fujiwara's groaning and moaning about MST3K was due to the lack of respect they were giving to these oddly wonderful artifacts suitable for voyeuristic delectation. (Fujiwara once wrote up a list of the best movies of 1953 and included *Robot Monster* as his tenth best -- and seriously, the only reason I can imagine ANYONE doing that is to prove some banal point about hegemony and the canon blah blah blah FIGHT THE POWER!!! etc. As bad movies go, there are so many better ones, like *Monster A Go-Go* for starters) This is baloney on many levels. "MST3K involves people making fun of bad movies" is a good shorthand description of the show, but only that: most of the time, Best Brains aren't "making fun" of the movies (most of the riffs' humor are totally incidental to the badness of the film), nor are most of the films they riff on aren't really *bad.* A good chunk are, most are just utterly indifferent, and few are pretty good for what they are (say, the Lassie or Godzilla movies.), and a movie's badness is no guarantee of an episode's goodness. (I think *Monster A Go-Go* is probably the worst thing I've ever seen and most of the time BB was just struggling to say something, anything about it.) Most of the time I attribute BB's claims to a movie being bad as just a bunch of hyperbole for comedy's sake. (On the other hand, if *I* had to watch most movies with the kind of attentiveness *they* did in creating MST3K, I think most films would probably come up short, anyway.)

And ANYWAY, I knew a lot of hardcore MSTies who argued the 'essence' of the show wasn't the riffing but the relationship between Joel/Mike, the 'bots and the Mads.

Well, yes. This is why I stopped watching during the Sci-Fi years.

"He died as he lived: Loving his work."

"That's 40 pounds of butt in 30-pound butt capacity pants!" - Mike

"That may not really be Chinese."

Tep: I don't think it's the same at all (effort of making a film vs effort of making comments while watching films). It's just that renting B-movies with friends was already a popular pastime with people I knew before I ever knew of this show. MST3K seemed less fun than doing it in 'real time' with your own friends if that's what you want to do. I didn't think it added much to the experience or to the movies. And I guess I just didn't think they were that much funnier anyway (e.g. the "dead elf" line Ned quoted).

And their parody of Behind the Music with "The Band That Played California Lady" in Track of the Moon Beast is one of their best skits.

I think that's a fair thing to say. I remember when us AOL MSTies would get together and riff on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band or A Star Is Born, what would happen *was* more hilarious than the average episode. But one might argue that by watching Best Brains riff on, say, The Incredible Melting Man, the pleasures we might get personally or collectively riffing on the movie would not only get partially replaced by the pleasure of THEM doing it, but also by the pleasures of indulging in the shared culture of MSTiedom -- learning and trading BB's lines, say, much like we're doing here.

An aside: I suppose someone like Fujiwara might say YOU SEE YOU SEE YOU'RE GIVING UP THE FRUITS OF YOUR OWN CRITICAL ACTIVITY FOR THAT OF OTHERS though I'm not sure how different this is from, say, trading lines of Horace or Milton, or using something Benjamin or Aristotle once said for your own nerfarious purposes. Or how it prevents us from "playing the home game," if you will.

This lays me out... also another thing my friends and I say - "this is how much pure cocaine I would need to __________"

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Whip Slagcheek
Punch Side-iron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson (no, wait...)

Here are a few highlights of the administration of Rutherford B. Hayes: In 1877, Reconstruction ended, and Jacques Derrida was named Secretary of Linguistics, and the era of Deconstruction began and continues to this day. Thomas Edison invented the pornograph, beginning the Age of Pornography. President Hayes then passed the Hayes Act, started the Hayes Office, won fame as an American lyric tenor, and became Archibishop of New York in 1919.

After he retired, he founded the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Allen Arthur; shocked the world with a publicity stunt when, on a bet, he made a tent out of the underwear of William Howard Taft and lived inside for a full year; and later, Hayes retired from the stage and did a series of memorable character parts in Hollywood. Who can forget the time he was slapped by Jacqueline Bisset in the 1971 Universal movie, Airport ? And then, after inventing ringworm, Hayes died. His last words were: "I have only one life to live -- let me live it as a blond!"

THE END.

Oh, and his blood type was AB.

THE END.

Not many *good* films, but it's not impossible to riff on a good movie: M Sampo once said that La Jetée and The Wizard of Oz would be pretty prime experiences. But in general good movies are too engaging -- too distracting -- to use for MSTing.

Richard Basehart is good.

Would anyone like some soup?

ROMMEL'S BUDDY (extolling the married life): "Listen, have you ever seen me so happy?"

JOEL (grouchily deadpan): "Yeah, but you didn't know I was watching."

Yes. People who are kneejerk anti-Mike really annoy me.

I actually think it's the best one in terms of sheer budget-on-screen spectacle -- over the top and overacted at points but beats the fuck out of just about every sort of 'epic fantasy' movie after it (in the non-sci fi trappings sense) until recent days.

the Sampo movie

THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE

"Oh yah, I remember that day..." < / Minnesota grandma twang >

Yes, Sci-Fi Channel episodes are still rerun on Saturday mornings for the time being. Catch them while you can!

"TDTEF" invests its plot with a bit more motivation and reason.

The minor fact that it's based on the Finnish national epic the Kalevala doesn't hurt (and believe it or not, that whole joke about the sampo is straight from the source tales in a way -- nobody really DOES know what a sampo is!).

The movie is about as funny as an average episode, but was designed to be seen in the theaters (which is to say, to be seen with a big group of people). The two times I saw it in the theater, it worked very well. (But yeah, the sketches from the movie aren't all that classic, and the single-camera approach of the TV show just works soooo much better... still, it was nice to see them have a modest budget for once.)

Can anyone ID this episode for me? Sadly, my cable company has some malevolent policy of not providing the sci-fi channel. :-(

During a preview of Contact "From The Producer of Forrest Gump" appears on the screen.

Mike: "So you can't say we didn't warn you."

Volume 1: Bloodlust, Catalina Caper, Creeping Terror, Skydivers
Volume 2: Angels Revenge, Cave Dwellers, Pod People, Shorts vol.1
Volume 3: Atomic Brain, Unearthly, Sidehackers, Shorts vol.2
Volume 4: Girl In Gold Boots, Hamlet, Overdrawn at Memory Bank, Space Mutiny

And I'm thinking of getting her "Manos" to boot...

As for which one, well, if she's a fan of the later seasons when Pearl was in charge, then definitely number 4 (and as it is I think all four of those episodes are among their finest). Volume 1 is mostly Mike as opposed to Joel (if that matters), who just does Catalina Caper, but that and Skydivers are both great, Creeping Terror not far off. But all that said, I'd go with volume 2 for starters -- a fantastic Mike episode, two of Joel's best and some of the best shorts they did. No Mr. B Natural though, which is a crime. (Volume 3 I'd get last -- good episodes but none that immediately standout as spectacular, a couple of the shorts aside).

"Catalina Caper" is a must.

Space Mutiny, fucking Space Mutiny. I have been present to see three or four board regulars see that for The First Time Ever and their glee was uncontrolled. My god, so bad, so wonderfully wonderfully bad. I think I'll watch that one first!

"Whaddaya got me, Rick Astley?"

"The death of Rick Springfield."

"Shake it Ralph Macchio!"

"The Home Economics Story"
"Junior Rodeo Daredevils"
"Body Care & Grooming"
"Cheating"
"A Date With Your Family"
"Why Study Industrial Arts?"
"Chicken of Tomorrow"

A fine selection (even if two of them unfortunately recur from episodes also on DVD).

Angel's Revenge is just insane, especially thanks to the 'special guest stars.' Jack Palance, Peter Lawford, Pat Buttram, Alan Hale, Jim Backus, Arthur Godfrey! What the fuck!

You are dead to me.

"Overdrawn" was fantastic

You live again!

Dan is right about The Girl With Gold Boots just being plain nuts. I'm trying to dig up this brilliant picture from the film that was from a scene *cut* from the MST3K version of all things...

http://www.jabootu.com/images/ggbundercover.JPG

(Stolen from Jabootu.com's brilliant review of the whole ridiculous thing.)

EAT, I'm afraid, does not excite my palate. But they do have tacos.

Suddenly, due to an apparent splice in the master print from which this video was taken, Buz magically appears at the table in the middle of the conversation. (This kind of stuff never happens when they transfer Martin Scorsese’s films to video.) )

"Hey Malta... GET A TREE!"

"oh come on, nobody's THAT Southern!"

The final final ever TV broadcast of a MST episode is later this month -- The Screaming Skull of all things, but it does have that great Gumby short to go with it. Sci-Fi Channel decided not to renew the repeat contract alas, so after five years of a half-life the show will be permanently a tape/filetrade/DVD experience.

"hey look, it's lou costello in drag."

Rodeo Daredevils:
"You should see the boys with her at the dances."
CROW: "Yeah, they buck her off right away."

Destroy: MST3K: The Movie. I'll take their claims that it basically halted their momentum cold at face value. And it's really not even a very funny episode. If it was in with the rest of the magnificent season six it would easily be the worst in the bunch.

"Ah yes, the opulently appointed San Francisco International"

"Ditch him at the gate."

"That bitch, I'm the hostage!"

"I made-for-TV love you."

"Meet the new boss."

"The parents of the Beatles!"

... and that magnificent run of jokes at the expense of the kid whose mom is trying to let him down gently.

Mom: I'm going to try to explain this to you again, Jimmie.
SERVO: You're a loser and we're sending you away.
Mom: It's just that sometimes married couples need to spend some time away.
SERVO: Apart from their kids, I mean.
Jimmie: You're going to get a divorce, aren't you?
SERVO: Yes, and I don't want custody.

I could go on all day with this episode.

Old timer Billy Slater seems like he would be an unfortunate person to encounter.

Perhaps if we had a child.

Insert Tab A into B movie.

Mom: I'm going to try to explain this to you again, Jimmie.
SERVO (as mom): You're a loser and we're sending you away.
Mom: It's just that sometimes married couples need to spend some time away.
SERVO (as mom): Apart from their kids, I mean.
Jimmie: You're going to get a divorce, aren't you?
SERVO (as mom): Yes, and I don't want custody.
Mom: Now you know that hasn't been decided yet.
CROW (as mom): Although because of you it's very likely.
Jimmie: Do we have to go now?
SERVO (as mom): You have to go now!

Also, another great line: "Here's your script. You'll be playing 'Black Woman on Plane'."

(Oh, hi there Mr. Trife!)

BTW, "fembot" and "space swish" are my most favorite catty insults EVER.

I think Servo was, um... that word I no longer use but everyone applied to David Beckham... long before we coined the term. Don't know if that means Kevin Murphy was this rumored "gay one" on the staff. I remember way back when how Joel's sexuality came into question occasionally. In any case, I usually got the vibe that they were more riffing on people's fear of homosexuality than slamming gayness itself.

Still, even San Francisco International has that out-of-the-blue "Well, hell-O, I just have to sah-shay across the airport, I'll be back, bye!"

As he's married as well, that would be an interesting situation.

...is married to Bridget Jones.

I absolutely loved it when Bob Fingerman quoted a hunk of the song in an issue of Minimum Wage. Beautiful stuff.

"HUZZAH!"

I did not forget the image of man exploring his territory however.

Still it was better than Pitch Black.

"Flag on the moon, how'd it get there?" is just as paradoxically telling and dunderheaded as "The horror. The horror."

"Oh a spot in the shade!" (*crash*) "oop!"

Don't get me started on the Coleman Francis films.

"That squares my breasts!"

-- Nate Patrin (natepatrin550...), May 25th, 2003.

"Want it in a commemorative glass? They got Dick Butkus on 'em."

Or: "Now here the director's beginning to lose control of his film. This is characteristic of many young directors: too many ideas. Or, in this case... none at all."

I use this one all the time.

It's Chicago's "Saturday in the Park."

Thank you! One mystery less. :-)

"Buzz off."
"Huh?"
"Buzz off, HUH!"
"No you buzz off!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

(That exchange was also of course the source of the 'tonight on Crossfire' reference I used a little while ago on a Fiddo/Aja exchange.)

"I dunno. You got an airbrush on ya?"

"The whole building just lost on Price is Right."

"My period!"

Ah, not quite -- it was the even better/more telling 'seen' rather than 'heard.'

"Now let's get those clothes off!"

That line has haunted me for years, in a comic sort of way.

"Time to settle in with the Book of Mormon."

"It's the DEVIL and it's FUN!"

News of Interest reported there:

Is it true that each writer had a "specialty" area, one for pop culture, one for sports, etc.? "Not really," said Bill, "although if we needed to know something about sports, we would go to Paul Schersten." Added Mike, "And if we needed to know something about obscure vaudevillian actors, we'd ask Frank. He was our 'go to guy' for vaudeville."

When asked if they had indeed heard from any angry actors or filmmakers, the inevitable shouting of "Joe Don Baker!" was heard from the audience. "We're not worried about Joe Don," replied Bill, "we can easily outrun him. Or should that be out-fast walk him?"

"I've got one thing to say to Joe Don," added Kevin, "Go ahead on." Kevin also mentioned that they had received an extremely angry letter from Gremlins director Joe Dante after they gave the MST treatment to Marooned, aka SPACE TRAVELLERS. "It's supposed to be some kind of monumentally epic tribute to Sixties space travel," said Mike. "Let me tell you something. It's not."

...

Questions were then taken from the audience. While nothing new was asked, there was one surreal moment when a woman angrily demanded to know why THE FINAL SACRIFICE was MSTed. It turned out she was Canadian, and actually liked the film. "Why?" asked Mike. "Because of its accurate portrayal of life in Canada?"

After the audience Q&A, the Sklar brothers wrapped things up by asking if there were any upcoming projects in the works. It turns out there are several. After the April 20th DVD release of Reefer Madness, Mike will be contributing audio commentary to the DVD of Carnival of Souls. Also, all three are in discussions to provide commentary for upcoming Three Stooges DVDs, and they're also all working together on a book about, naturally enough, the state of bad movies today.

Meantime, the Satellite News site sez a new DVD box set in March with Mike and Kevin both adding commentary. I liked Mike's brief bits on Vol. 4 so this could be fun. No word on what episodes in particular.

So meta I might have to watch it in mute.

I have no problem with more SciFi era stuff, but a box covering the shortened season seven -- say Night of the Blood Beast, Deathstalker, Escape 2000 and Laserblast if it could only be four movies -- would be spiff.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Volume 5
We have more information about Volume 5 of Rhino Home Video's "Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection" series. The release date is March 9th. It will feature episodes 821- TIME CHASERS, 908- THE TOUCH OF SATAN, 1003- MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS and 1006- BOGGY CREEK II.

Special features on the set will include introductions by Mike Nelson (similar to those in the last set, but Mike tells us they will be somewhat longer), full-length interviews with Mike and Kevin Murphy, and the original trailer for "The Touch Of Satan."

Before you ask: Based on our conversations with our source at Rhino we don't think the contents of this list should be read as an indication that it's only Sci-Fi Channel episodes from this point on. Our source asked us which episodes fans would like to see next, and we referred him to the poll we conducted a couple of years ago, the result of which are posted HERE.

As soon as we know more about what's next from Rhino, we'll be sure to pass it on.

(In somewhat related news, the TV shows Freaks and Geeks and Invader Zim, both of which had MST vets working on them -- Josh, Trace and Joel on the first, Frank on the second -- are also coming to DVD.)

Also a reminder that the screening of The Screaming Skull coming up this Saturday morning is it, the final broadcast.

The biggest problem, however, is that HE wanted his own easy targets mocked without recourse to the realities of film licensing and TV broadcast, and the costs involved, which would have made it possible (and more than that -- the various cast members have spoken many times about how many different big budget/more modern idiocies they would have loved to have done). Which in turn makes him look like an uninformed twit.

They did a pretty good job although I'm not sure I liked Gypsy's voice done with an actual female type voice.

A recent article by Mary Jo Pehl, short but funny. And Kevin Murphy's irregular pieces on NPR have been great!

It's been forever since I read it -- but it was certainly pretty crusty.

I'll never hate the show. God no! But I should probably stop reading Nelson's writings outside of the show. (Murphy's book is much better.)

Great, now I'm a fucking knee-jerk. (OK, I've always been one, it seems.)

it's sort of difficult to reconcile all those jokes that seemed to be taking, say, organized religion against his offhand comments about "saving people's souls."

I think you're mistaking a collective effort -- ten or more regular writers over the course of eleven years -- with one person, though. Mike was the head writer, yes, but he was not the only writer. Also, for all that there were jabs, there were also appreciations -- I'm thinking of a sketch from Joel days where he noted along the way that one shouldn't mess with a Higher Power, adding, 'Take it from one who knows.' A distinct joy of MST3K is its ecumenicism on a variety of fronts, not necessarily or solely religious.

Outside of the show, keep in mind he's still very close friends with Kevin, who, as you can tell from his own book, is Buddhist -- if Mike were a close-minded bigot, not only would the show reflect that but there would hardly be an easy and continuing friendship and professional relationship between the two (as well as with Bill and to a lesser extent with Paul and Mary Jo and others, as demonstrated by Edward the Less and all). I very much doubt Mike harangues the rest of them with sermons.

Mike's various comments on his childhood and early adulthood, while referencing various joys, also have indicated struggle, a broken home (I believe his parents are divorced), a variety of different spiritual pursuits and more. Add to that the darkness Mike D and I note above in this thread that surfaces elsewhere -- not to mention the miserable headaches he's apparently suffered from for years, which like any physical condition that is persistent and not easily solved is bound to have some impact on who and what you are -- and what I see in him through what I know of him as a public figure is somebody who has found a particular peace and grace in a way that suits him best, and who is apparently an extremely loving and caring father and husband (thinking of some of Bridget Jones's various comments and notes in interviews). I think that's admirable.

Finally, regarding his taste in movies, I don't think it was a requirement to be a total movie buff to make the show work as comedy, and again it was a collective effort. Kevin is obviously a movie freak, so too was Frank, and they knew their obscurities, as I believe does Bill. It's part of what they brought to the table.

But Fujiwara's also right in that it's a damn shame one of MST3K's unfortunate legacies is that (for some and not all, I stress) any movie that doesn't adhere to binding mainstream standards of excellence (in the same way that Casablanca does) is practically grounds for ridicule. Of course, this is not MST3K's fault, and in fact the only plausible reason I can think of for Fujiwara to be focusing his vitriol on MST3K is that the show makes such a damned good case for eviscerating offbeat films.

Having said that, did I mention that this is my favorite show ever? Ever ever? And that someday I'd love to sit down with TV's Frank and pick his brain on movies?

Anyway I'm never entirely sure how much the MST3K gang hated the films they watched. I was particularly surprised after seeing that Raul Julia movie that they kept going on was one of the worst Sci-Fi era movies they watched -- the visuals in that movie are completely eye-popping and wonderful, although yes the plot is weak and the acting is fairly awful (except for Julia). I found something to like in the film. And I think MST3K helped me to realize, as a young'un (I started watching the show during Season One, neener neener, Ned) that there were things to value in even the most riduclously awful films. Torgo touches our lives.

The process they used to develop riffs from movies -- watching movies and stopping them when they could think of something funny which somebody would then write down, then start the film again -- strikes me as really not conducive to wonderful aesthetic experiences. I doubt even my favorite films would still charm me after that kind of punishing microscopic analysis, and since we're talking about stuff, like Monster A-Go-Go or The Wild, Wild World of Batwomen, that sometimes really defies sense and reason, I think rage might a perfectly rational response.

But I bet they all eventually got somewhat desensitized to the process, and that most of the vitriol they poured onto most of their movies was merely exaggerated for comic effect.

IIRC, I think Mary Jo was eventually put in charge of screening films to see if they were MSTable, so she'd MSTed films even more times than the other BB people, and she said that they finished creating an episode out of a film, she would have already seen it a really mindbending number of times. (20? 50?!?)

Thus Tom's legendary cry at the end of Wild World of Batwomen -- "END!!! ENNNNNDDD!!!"

Not only did Mary Jo see things a few times over first, she also had to screen those many movies which were considered and rejected for screening. Frank did that duty before her. They are perhaps the true stalwarts of the whole thing.

Oh, and hear the engines roll now.

The REAL weird thing about the commentary, though, is Mike's voice -- it's him and all, but he's got this strange, prominent lisp that shows up. Either I've never noticed it before (which I find hard to doubt), he's gained one over time for reason (hadn't noticed it in the recent DVD interview snippets) or maybe they recorded him a day after some dental or mouth work.

Me: "So I picked up that Reefer Madness with Mike Nelson on it..."

Chaki: *takes out wallet to show that he's put the sticker from the DVD cover with Mike's face on it on top of his driver's license photo*)

Do you feel the spirit of music inside you now?

"Just wait until he finds out how hard it really is!"

"Yes, very clever, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM..."

Recent Mike and Mary Jo interviews.

! FAINT PRAISE, sir.

"I'M BACK!"

xpost I know but since I stopped watching the show in, what, 1995? I always kinda forget that these last episodes are from 1998.

This is true, especially since there is no "Mike and the bots" dynamic to speak of. Mostly, I think, because Mike and Crow spend all their time ACTING! whereas Bobo and Brain Guy are a bit more natural.

The South Park thing was exactly what I first thought of re: Vinnie's question!

I should have said 'say' rather than 'saw.'

If you order through http://mst3000dvd.com, or by calling 800-645-2400, you can get Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Essentials--featuring episode 424- "MANOS"-THE HANDS OF FATE and episode 321- SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS--PLUS a SPECIAL BONUS DISK--Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Shorts, Vol. 3!

This collection, never before on DVD, includes: Speech--Using Your Voice (from episode 313- EARTH VS. THE SPIDER), Aquatic Wizards (from episode 315- TEENAGE CAVEMAN), Is This Love? (from episode 514- TEENAGE STRANGLER), Design for Dreaming (from episode 524- 12 TO THE MOON), The Selling Wizard (from episode 603- THE DEAD TALK BACK), Out of this World (from episode 618- HIGH SCHOOL BIGSHOT) and Once Upon A Honeymoon (from episode 701- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST).

The price is $24.95 plus $4.95 shipping and handling.

This is a MAJOR bonus as some of those are among the best shorts ever -- "Speech: Using Your Voice" ('plenty of lip and tongue action'), "Design for Dreaming" ("This was the response to Roger and Me"), "Is This Love?" ("Mmm...get the cuffs") and "Once Upon a Honeymoon" (two words: flaming angel) in particular. Order away!

Furthermore:

Rhino Home Video has informed us that The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 6, due out Sept. 21st, will include:

episode 511- GUNSLINGER
episode 404- TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE
episode 406- ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES (with short: UNDERSEA KINGDOM PT. 1)
MR. B's LOST SHORTS??!! (which includes "Mr. B Natural" (from episode 319- WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST), "X Marks The Spot" (from episode 210- KING DINOSAUR), "Hired!--Part 1" (from episode 423- BRIDE OF THE MONSTER), "Design for Dreaming" (from episode 524- 12 TO THE MOON), "Johnny At The Fair" (from episode 419- THE REBEL SET) and "Are You Ready for Marriage?" (from episode 616- RACKET GIRLS)

Gunslinger was the last Rhino VHS release to be ported over to DVD, and looks like they'll be happily adding more titles as they go. Another slew of great shorts (pity about the "Design for Dreaming" duplicate), particularly "Are You Ready for Marriage?" and of course, above all else, the insanity of insanities, "Mr. B. Natural."

And finally:

Special Edition "Carnival of Souls" Now Available
A while back we told you that Legend Films would be bringing out a colorized version of the movie CARNIVAL OF SOULS featuring a separate commentary track by Mike Nelson, similar to the REEFER MADNESS DVD that is already available. We were originally told that it would be available in October, but we've just learned that it won't be officially released until next year.

BUT...we have a special offer just for MST3K fans.

You can purchase a special edition of "Carnival of Souls" release now. The cover is autographed by Mike, and there's a printed note from him inside. The cost is $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

This special edition can only be bought at http://www.offcolorfilms.com/cos.html and will never be avaible in stores. The disk contains the restored, colorized version, and for you purists, the original black and white version is also included.

We've seen preview copies of this and Mike's commentary is terrific, alternately offering insights into the making of the film and his own witty observations about it.

Nice, I do hope that the commentary really *is* as described, as I noted upthread the Reefer Madness commentary was sorta eh.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0810992000.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

From turn-of-the-century novelties and Depression-era distraction, through wartime comfort, to Hello Kitty and Jeff Koons, cuteness has thrived in the fertile soil of American modern-age media and pop culture. What is it about fluffy bunnies with bows, baby ducks splashing in puddles, kittens snuggled in baskets, and little lambs on their way to school? Happy Kitty Bunny Pony celebrates America's "cult of the cute" in all its campy, kitschy, ironic glory.

With more than 200 images from the print and advertising archives of the Charles S. Anderson Design Company, this collection is an amazingly rich testament to America's fascination with cute things. The hilarious commentary by Mystery Science Theater 3000 host Mike Nelson, spiked with fun and curious facts, bits of sarcasm, and dry and not-so-dry wit, is as surprising and bizarre as the images themselves. So go ahead and join the fun-everyone from art students to your grandma is already shouting the cult-of-the-cute battle cry: "Happy Kitty Bunny Pony!" AUTHOR BIO: The Charles S. Anderson Design Company is ranked by Graphis magazine as one of the world's 10 most influential design firms. Their clients include Ralph Lauren, Warner Brothers, Coca-Cola, Levi's, and Nike. Michael J. Nelson, an actor and writer, was the head writer and on-air host of the legendary television series Mystery Science Theater 3000. He is the author of Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese, Mind Over Matters, and the novel Death Rat.

I like the sound of this. I half assume this came about because Mike and that Lileks feller have been palling around lately (similar dry humor -- at the same time, similarly right/neo-con politics), but perhaps it was all dreamed up by Mike and this design company on their own, who knows?

Oh christ no.

Hate to disappoint ya but it's true:

http://www.northernallianceradio.com/

The radio show Lileks and others do regularly now -- Mike has been a regular guest commentator, I believe. You'll notice the cover of Mind Over Matters there on the right side of the screen among the other books that participants have written.

I'm guessing Mike can do this far better than Lileks

It'll be a nice variation on Mike's non-MST3K written work so far, which has been text straight up -- your guess may well be spot on.

I'M NOT LISTENING! I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA LA LA!

Snarf.

I'M NOT LISTENING! I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA LA LA!

Face the truth (I do not say embrace it). Keep in mind that Mike's political/social take on the world is still pretty much something he keeps for specific parts of his life and work, as best as I can tell -- this discussion of a recent appearance:

http://www.mst3k.com/satnews/brains/mikenc.html

...was from the sound of it apolitical.

http://www.newhousenews.com/images/lileks.jpg

"Eat my photons, smallheads!"

Brilliant! They're both going on my wishlist.

http://www.lileks.com/institute/interiors/yourhost.jpg

But where's Hercules Against the Moon Men???

Sandstorm...

SAAAAAAAANNNNNNDSTORRRRRMMMMM!!!!!!

Not bad for '74 in an earth-tone way. Maybe he should just shave his head -- Mike seems to know how to wear it short with it comes to balding.

So does Lileks force Mike to talk about Lileks' daughter and shit?

Good lord, I hope not.

As we reported earlier, Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Volume 7 is due out in April. While Rhino couldn't confirm an exact date for us, industry insiders are telling us that it is slated for release on April 19th. The DVD set will contain (hold on to your hat):

episode 407- THE KILLER SHREWS (with short: JUNIOR RODEO DAREDEVILS)
episode 408- HERCULES UNCHAINED
episode 410- HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN
episode 816- PRINCE OF SPACE

A bonus feature will be ASSIGNMENT: VENEZUELA, the short originally MSTed for the ill-fated CD-ROM project and which was never shown on television. Rhino has confirmed for us that this bonus will contain the contents of the entire "Venezuela" tape currently available from the Info Club, which also includes the shorts CENTURY 21 CALLING and A CASE OF SPRING FEVER.

http://moblog.co.uk/blogs/68/moblog_04897de692fa6.jpg

"HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!"

Three bonus shorts all winners as well.

-- Ash (ashbyma...), January 29th, 2005.

Hey, your wish came true!

Nelson has thought plenty about his next target, perhaps the worst film of all time.

"I have actually dared to take on what some people may consider hallowed ground," Nelson said. "I'm doing (director Ed Wood's) Plan Nine From Outer Space."

!

Anyway, no reason why he shouldn't, although I'd rather he found another film which is interesting but very hard to watch without commentary, like Reefer Madness.

That Happy Kitty book up above has finally been published and Amazon shipped it to me two days ago, so I can't wait to get it!

Bless this internet!

when they broke out an Andy Capp gag from nowhere that was so obscure that no-one who wasn't from england would've got it, i knew i was in the presence of pure genius.

went down well with nachos and a case of bud

(Every episode including KTMAs and every random bit of extra comes out to around 160+ Gb.)

Our friends at Rhino Home Video have given us the list of episodes to be included in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 9 DVD set. They are... wait for it....

104- WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
207- WILD REBELS
613- THE SINISTER URGE (with short: KEEPING CLEAN AND NEAT)
812- THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES

As a bonus for "Women of the Prehistoric Planet," Rhino has taped a short intro to the episode with Irene Tsu, who played Linda in the movie. There will also definitely be a bonus intro to "The Sinister Urge" with Conrad Brooks, who played Connie.

Women of the Prehistoric Planet is of course the real kicker since that's only the second Josh Weinstein-era episode (after The Crawling Hand) to get a video/DVD release. And the other three are all winners, so yay! These bonus intros they mention could be fun.

What do I win? Does Cthulhu open up a dimensional gate so I can proceed to Level Two?

"JUST POUND THEM DOWN
YOU STUPID CLOWN
THEY'RE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLD."

(I know I quoted that up above but hurrah for a redo.)

http://mst3kbt.blogspot.com/

"the second E is a grammatical thing, otherwise it would be Crepy Girl"

The idea they had to sell their services as an extra commentary track for regular DVDs was brilliant, sad that nobody's taken them up on it. Maybe they could do a Kevin Smith and just record commentaries for current movies then create a subscription download service?

fuck i want to die. :(

Try torrent-finder...

Anyway, yes, I have been enjoying the Buddha nature for most of 2006, welcome to the club!

Ditto.

Like, what do I have to do?

I love this series, but being in the UK I've only managed to see three full episodes(plus the movie, which was the only one which they've ever been allowed to show on normal tv) due to the frustration involved in trying to download 700meg files on capped broadband.

But I do love me some Mitchell.
"I'm King Hussain!"
"Did I tell you I'm Italian? Let me restate that!"

And yeah, trying to download these things over broadband was a big pain for me too. I gave up a while ago.

Racket Girls
Mr. B Natural
Village of the Giants
The Creeping Terror
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Home Economics Story

hmm... I should come back to this one.

Alien from LA
Manos
Zombie Nightmare
Catalina Caper
Puma Man
Rocketship X-M
Teenagers From Outer Space
Mitchell
The Starfighters
Angels' Revenge

Pretty much all the shorts after "Phantom Creeps" finally ended are totally classic. I'm going to give a special shout-out to the under-appreciated "Progress Island, U.S.A."

My appreciation for the Coleman Francis trilogy is a different type of beast entirely.

The Incredible Melting Man
Alien from LA
Zombie Nightmare
Catalina Caper
Pod People
City Limits
Tormented
Village of the Giants
Jack Frost
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

This is probably the most successful thread I've ever started. What does that tell you?

My ten:
Space Mutiny [xp!]
Wild World of Batwoman
Incredible Melting Man
Zombie Nightmare
Hobgoblins
Godzilla vs. Megalon
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
Manos: the Hands of Fate
Puma Man
Master Ninja

Puma Man and Space Mutiny are probably my favorite Sc-Fi Channel episodes.

Google google... Oh! The one with Michael Stipe. Yeah, that's a good 'un.

BIG MCLARGEHUGE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2aMSb8P9Sk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X5E2jF6hx4&search=mst3k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK_fizEQFOE&search=mst3k

Absolutely a killer episode. Monk is great.

"He's one of the undead, boss."

i downloaded the 4th and 5th seasons and have been forcing everyone who comes to my apartment to watch them.

-"Women are torn apart like fresh bread!"
-"It's Jules & Jim on ice!"
-"Spot the man in this chorus line."
-the entirety of the "fawn getting shot" sequence
-the best delivery/timing of the word "YES!" ever in a riff, via Joel

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ktqvi6yo_80&search=circus%20on%20ice

Oh yeah, that's another POX choice.

I think Season 6 was pretty clearly the strongest, from a joke-writing standpoint.

haven't read anything yet, but why was the show cancelled?

But more important news -- the debut of RIFF TRAX!

Welcome to RiffTrax.com, an innovative new site featuring the hilarious DVD commentaries of Michael J. Nelson, head writer and star of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000!

Do you feel that some of the movies coming out of Hollywood are just, well, missing something? At RiffTrax, you can download Mike's running commentaries and listen to them along with your favorite, and not so favorite DVDs. It's like watching a movie with your funniest friend. And it's easy to do. Just check out our FAQ; more than likely, you have the tools to do it already.

Don't just sit back and take whatever Hollywood throws at you. Transform the DVD experience with RiffTrax. It's
the most fun you'll ever have at the movies.

And what is the first movie he's doing?

ROADHOUSE

I am so happy.

Meantime, the next DVD set has been confirmed -- out the end of August!

Episodes are:

* 212- GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
* 503- SWAMP DIAMONDS (plus short: WHAT TO DO ON A DATE)
* 514- TEEN-AGE STRANGLER (plus short: IS THIS LOVE?)
* 810- THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION

The collection also includes these extras:

* "MST3K Video Jukebox" (15 songs from the series)
* "Photo Gallery"
* "Outtakes" (we're told this actually means about 15 minutes of the best moments from "Poopie 2")

August 29 is the confirmed release date; with the usual suggested retail price.

Ah, a clean copy of Teenage Strangler -- I'm so happy.

"AND I DIDN'T STEAL NO BIKE NEITHER!"

"Mistress Ayesha, I'm here for my beating.")

Yes!

One case where the homo-coding of the two main bachelor characters is actually not off-base.

Not to mention the dorky kid in hot pants and Oscar Wilde as heavy.

Oh and lest we forget:

"Stand by for action!"

"REX DART, ESKIMO SPY"

Check the "Someone explain Cat Fancy to me" thread.

Anyway, next one will be The Fifth Element, while it turns out Mike, Bridget and their kids are moving to San Diego, due to Mike's increasing role with Legend Films as 'chief content producer.' Bit of a climate shift, that!

Master Ninja Theme Song!

I don't suppose the Jr Rodeo Daredevils short is around somewhere on the internets

"And eat your oatmeal!"

i work with dr clayton