UK Watercooler Ten: Back In The Office Again

I'm scared of my inbox. :-(

And my mum has been on eBay again because there's some hideous stuffed monster arrived in the post today. How I can stop her SENDING me these things?

I have lots of stuff going on at the moment - stuff that's both good and scary at the same time - but I don't exactly want to talk about it here.

Oh, and I just broke the internal phone system completely. Fortunately that was only ten minutes of utter terror, because after a hard reset and a backup it recovered.

Sigh.

I just wish the depression would break already, I'm just fed up and sick of this and refuse to go back on the happy pills. :-(

Some new friends have invited me out somewhere on Saturday night - I think I told you about that. But, additionally, someone I've been chatting to online has invited me to go and stay with them for a couple of nights, later this week. This is both good and scary. And complicated. Very complicated.

(I get the feeling they fancy me, and want to get their hands on me before I go out Saturday night in case I get snapped up by someone else whilst I'm out)

My mood gets fowler. My boss came over and dumped the new, improved list of CRAP what needs done on me.

And I'm trying to move rehearsal off tonight as I don't even know what time I will get out, but everyone is going away next weekend. :-(

If you don't liek that bit, you *really* shouldn't read the email I've just sent you :-P

http://www.findaproperty.com/library/libp3640.jpg

And leave my mispelling alone¬! :-(

(and the famous failure "Fowler's Ghost", his attempt at a fireless engine for the Underground)

:-(

Fuck everyone and everything. Why did I leave my flat?

*hug*

Sorry, I'm making no sense. I should get back to work so I can get out at a reasonable hour tonight.

I wish I could blame it on the stress and the pressure of being back here, but in a way I'm relieved to be back in the office. Whatever, I'm going to try to stop thinking about stuff that winds me up and depresses me.

I wish I could be happy about the band and stuff that's happening for us, but I feel so excluded from it lately, like I'm just the Fat One That Writes All the Songs and should go away and shut up and stop spoiling everyone else's fun or something.

Anyway, your thing sounds, erm... interesting, FP. It will be great fun for you all round, anwyay.

Mmm, I know that feeling far too well.

Anyway, your thing sounds, erm... interesting, FP. It will be great fun for you all round, anwyay.

Well, I hope so.

I should probably get someone to phone me a couple of times whilst I'm away, Just In Case. I'm confident it *will* be safe, but it's still sensible.

and I know that's not what's happenning now, but it's hard to break the patterns of feeling like The Fat One Who Writes All The Songs and who Never Gets The Boy, Ever, because the boys like the pretty, skinny bandmates.

And it just makes me feel worse about being so badly affected by the depression, that evening, because I was invited to go along, but didn't, because I was too badly depressed to be in the company of people so instead I went home and drank myself to sleep.

And god, aren't you all glad that I'm back, little ray of sunshine that I am, with my traumas and my horrors and my stupid self sabotaguing self aggrandising hissy fits and self manufatured drama queen "problems".

God, I wish I had a hammer, I'd smash my skull with it, because at least that would stop the depressionheadache.

I'm feeling soooo tired today, although I'm in a good mood - it was a good productive weekend! And I started my fitness regime yesterday. The 10 minute run was the hardest thing anyone has ever had to do ever in the history of the world ever, but it means that I'm starting to get fit, which is a good thing. Just need to keep it up now.

Kate, don't be sad! I've sent you a little package in the post this morning to cheer you up.

Better than a kitten: here's Fowler's Ghost, as mentioned upthread:

http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/LOCOLOCO/fowler/fowler2.jpg

http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/LOCOLOCO/fowler/fowlerga2.gif

I tried going for a fitness walk yesterday - I had to pause and have a rest to get up the common, I was so out of shape. And then I got distracted by the flowers in the Rookery.

I resolved to do the same thing every morning, but I couldn't face it when I got out of bed.

x-post, awwww.

Friday and Monday: nothing at all! Lazing around at home.

http://www.incorporeal.org/files/images//uberkitten3_0.jpg

What colour were the flowers?

The usual daffodils and narcissuses and hyacinths and things, too.

And a rogue Rhodedenrum that didnt' seem to know what time of year it was.

What kind of car did you get in the end?

(xpost)

A smile has finally been raised and I have Geoffrey Chaucher Hath A Blog to thank, for this gem of myddel Inglische:

Bad-a-bynge, bad-a-boume!

And rehearsals keep moving about. Now it's back at mine again. I'm so confused. Someone shoot me, please. Put me out of my misery.

I'm very dissatisfied with my lunch. Hang the cook. Wait, it was me.

I still haven't had a cup of coffee yet. But I'm scared the machine coffee here will be revolting.

The mystery of the... thing is solved. It turns out it was a "hippopatamus" and it's for my mum, not me. For some reason, I always thought she had taste, but this makes me doubt this.

I am on my own in my office today. This isn't necessarily a good thing, because I have little motivation to actually do anything. Instead I'm surfing the web, reading ILX, updating the blog, and things along those lines.

(time to brew up another cup of tea, I think)

Nice City Boy? That's an oxymoron, I think. Then again, what do I no? I got some weird message from a dating site I forgot to unregister from a bloke who looks just like Prince Edward. Errr... Yeah, bollocks to skinny indie boys. Bollocks to all boys. Except for, erm, the lovely boys of the Watercooler. Unless you like that sort of thing.

"you look so unhappy" is a weird thing to say - but then again, if it gets you out of parental hell, it's fine. Now I wish I'd gone somewhere for my holidays, but where the heck would I go? Maybe I'll hire a National Trust cottage for the next one. Sigh.

Tea. What a brilliant idea. Actually, I'm nearly out of tea. I should go and buy some for rehearsal, but then again...

I was quite embarrassed as there were all these CL's open on my bed when my upstairs neighbour dropped by yesterday. But then she confessed that she's totally addicted to Elle Deco in the same pr0ny sort of way.

And there's paintcans everywhere. Help.

I think I'm going outside for a bit. Honest.

was that the sports journalist one? i COULD NOT FOLLOW HER CONVERSATION AT ALL however hard i tried (apart from the bit about egypt, but even then i didn't know if she was talking about the same person all the time or if she was switching people and i didn't get what he/they had to do with it anyway).

was it me or her?

Tea is better than coffee anyway.

...unless of course, I write back to Prince Edward.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1945000/images/_1948219_prince_edward.jpg

I mean, I'm a royalist and all, but I don't want lizard spunk anywhere near me.

When life looks grim, add pink flowers.

It's my turn to bitch about a Pitckfork article, but I'll spare you for now.

I'm in a bit of an apprehensive mood today. Driving down to Croydon tonight.

Oh wait, is this the thing you were emailing me about? Is that in Croydon? I didn't realise the place was such a hotbed of... oh wait, yes, it totally would figure. Say hello on the way if you go down the A23.

only 11:01. i already want to leave.

Now I have nothing to do this weekend because the trip was cancelled, and all my friends seem to be going away. Bah. I guess i'll finish painting. But wait! Matt Hew will be here! This is good, I might actually get to see him.

Oh, oh, I had something important (or at least interesting... no, really! Not more whinging about Dylan Moran, honest - come ON, I haven't mentioned him yet on this thread) to say but now I've forgotten what it was. Bah.

x-post HA HA, Ed is in the Balkans again!

I'm not going to post this to the roffle thread because noone else would understand it. But I laughed a lot :-)

I had trouble keeping a straight face yesterday afternoon when the boss came to my office to ask if I could check if there were any problems with our broadband connection. "I notice when it's slow," he said, "because I'm regularly downloading large files, on and off." I smirked, because I was already well aware that he regularly downloads rather specialist videos.

xpost: Yes, vaguely that way on. Closer than Croydon anyway.

If I was going to be around longer I'd have suggested a FAP, but I'm going back home again Friday, and I'm already busy Thursday night - it looks like I'm going to be a bit tied up.

Oh, probably. But do it anyway! That's my philosophy on life, at least for this week.

Not many poems about Croydon, generally.

The bloody TV Licensce people. They sent me a nasty letter saying PAY YOUR FEE!!! And if you don't have a telly, you must CALL THIS NUMBER AND WE WILL SEND SOMEONE ROUND TO INSPECT YOUR HOUSE.

Is that even legal? I didn't know it was a crime to not own a television. This really fucks me off. Can you imagine if the Drivers License people sent people round going WE ARE GOING TO INSPECT YOUR HOUSE TO MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT OWN A CAR.

(Mr. Knight says he will join us for a Blackheath pint pre-Bellowhead on Friday.)

I am going to ignore the letter, then. Let them get a warrant. They can't intimidate me.

http://www.musicomh.com/interviews/wigwam_0406.htm

I would like him to examine my Cepheid Variables, oh yes.

Scottish boys are so last week now. It's all about pointy nosed Irish boys now.

http://www.astrogea.org/surveys/dones_a.jpg

Totally need it for cover artwork.

::watches pretty glitter fall all about and settle like a snow globe::

::shakes thread again::

::gets bored, wanders off::

I've even managed to read my car radio manual to work out how to get it to automatically switch over to traffic reports, which I've never bothered doing before. But then, I've never tried driving round the M25 before.

Gah, I'm hungry but I've got to wait until Annoying Loud Girl gets out of the kitchen before using the microwave.

And Brad Laner posted my Medicine article to his blog. That's really strange in a sort of circular way.

It's not that hard, if you can drive on a normal motorway you can do it on the M25. Just be aware of the variable speed limits.

(I have seen them before, on the M42)

I'm indignant because Catty is macking down on *my* boyfriend, Carlos Barat. I don't care if I've abandonned him in favour of Dylan Moran lately, still. He's MINE. And she is breaking the Gurl Code by fancying the same band member.

You'll never guess what I've been volunteered for. I have to go to Birmingham next Friday and type out 30 pages of SQL. No copy/paste, no photocopy, just typing out from hard copy, just cos this shower I work for don't want to shell out the cash to buy the code. What a waste of sodding time for all concerned. Ah well, I get a day out, even if it IS to Birmingham.

I get to do more running tonight - wish me luck . . .

Birmingham? WTF is it with people getting sent to weird places to do weird things? Typing SQL manually? This gets weirder and weirder.

And ah, it's for CHARITY which is UK speak for "that makes it all OK, no matter what it is, even dressing up in womens' clothes is alright if it's for CHARITY."

http://www.rockstar.it/news/img/carl_barat_L2.jpg

lol@mandee's name.

I bought loads of jaffa cakes and jelly babies at lunch from the cheap sweet shop in Cowley Centre, and thought "I've got loads of food, i won't bother buying a sandwich." Now I'm on a massive sgar rush, and I can see the brick wall coming. AT about 3, I think I'll pop to the garage and buy a sandwich, just so I don't disintegrate on the way back.

Mark twain said "Crazy golf is a good walk made CRAZIIIIIER!"

Crazy Golf is great. And even though I am probably philosophically Against Golf, it's Scottish so I have to put up with it.

Great, now I've got Hair Like Alain Delon stuck in my head now.

http://www.bbt.be/images/interview/122003/alain-delon.jpg

http://www.tate.org.uk/onlineevents/images/alaindebotton_lg.jpg

http://python-airways.cside.com/member/member-image/ei.jpg

blimey, i saw that episode just this morning.

crazy golf = mini golf, like 'dead putting society' episode of the simpsons.

(if you change some of the names and swap round some unimportant statements, you might get away with it ;-) )

Anyway, here is a totally gratuitous picture of Brian Jones to stop me from further derailing the Girls Aloud thread:

http://www.musicaememoria.com/brian_jones.jpg

I have invented a great new word: SCAREVOUS. It is, of course, a portmanteau.

OK, everyone has now passed the Liberty Hippo around the department and we've all had a guess at what on earth it is supposed to BE or DO but we are no closer to knowing. However, it's obtained a name now. It is Fred.

Exactly!

Hehe, going to a scary erotic encounter in a car?

It needs an extra comma, but basically yes.

xpost horrible in a bad way?

Fred has two pockets on his back which have buttons at the top and you store things like jewelery in him. Mum

Still. Great hair.

http://www.hahaha.com/images/television/just-for-laughs-series/dylan-moran.jpg

But why is that? It's a fantasy thing, it's not like there's even the vaguest chance of anything being spoiled. But still. It's weird.

I am currently in Holiday Crush: c/d - with a big fucking emphasis on the d. i can't really complain - lots of walks with her in the woods, taking her off to sexy gypsy dancing tonight, and what the hell could I do seeing as how I only have a week left here? Thankfully, she is either oblivious to my feelings, or is being nice about it, so no awkward conversations where she tells me that she doesn't feel the same way.

I'm now 27. i was hoping this would get easier. Stupid me.

Anyway, enough venting. I hope you're all taking care of Britain for me!

It's better than dealing with/thinking about my actual IRL crush, which is just frustrating and annoying. Because as much as I know that it would be impossible for various reasons, you can't tell your crush facility that. It only makes it more exciting and tragic and therefore more appealing. Which is just ridiculous and I wish I didn't suffer from this sort of thing any more.

Anyway. My Sofa of Sex arrives next week and that will be sexxxxx enough for me.

Now I just feel irritated and cross.

Ed, are you coming out, or do you have other plans after all?

Now you must practise swishing with your fan and swatting annoying boys on the side of the head!

I went for another run last night, and it's only getting marginally easier, still FAR too much like hard work. My legs feel amazing though, like they're made of springs.

Boo to postman destroying Bernard! VLC is pretty amazing though, if anyone can read it, that can. Have you tried copying it to your HD and running it from there?

Don't know naught about Blackheath! We should consult with Matt DC or Mr. Knight about where to meet. What time is the gig?

oh, i didn't mean tonight but some other time. might try and drum up some other support, tell them emma lush is djing or something...

last night's code: http://www.koogy.clara.co.uk/hexagon3.png - doctor who video feedback style effects using opengl. (see also hexagon1.png and hexagon2.png except these were overly blue due to a typo)

(we keep getting internet dropouts here at work, 15-30 minutes at a time. like just then, most annoying.)

Yes, I was literally jumping for joy going "I LOVE YOU!!!" But the walls didn't move.

Oh, and someone mentioned Zombies.

http://www.eatmybrains.com/images/news/17_dylandeath2.jpg

Dylan Moran! Paisley! Dronerock! Redshifted galaxies and the Big Bang! Alex James' Shed Specials!

When will this day end?

I want a cheesecake. Why am I going to a Mexican restaurant? They dont' do cheesecake.

Mexican restaurants DO have deep-fried ice cream though, yum.

I'm feeling cranky and want to rip people's heads off.

sounds like baked alaska, kind of. which is kinda like artic roll.

Those photos make me want to overcome my Fear Of Ex and see Shaun of the Dead. One of these years I am going to have to do it.

God, that was just the year of seeing Exes' faces slathered on telephone boxes and lamp posts and things everywhere.

x-post

Quetzalcoatl shavings would be better.

CTHULHU SHAVINGS!!!

Bah, I'm worried about slipping from playful bad mood to genuine bad mood.

Suggestions:

* Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
* Try different keywords.
* Try more general keywords.

http://www.dailybruin.ucla.edu/images/2005/4/6/1ae.DylanMor.picA.jpghttp://static.flickr.com/56/131037990_9c3721862c.jpg

And I get my sofa next week! Hurrah! I will have mine own home improvement show where I come in and make everything paisley!

(n.b. I am updating my blog, not doing anythign stupid like filling out dating sites again, phew.)

Have had email from FP saying he is alive, in Surrey, having a lovely time, but too tied up to post to ILX.

I am in a cranky mood because:

1. The trains were all cancelled for NO APPARENT REASON so I had to take the bus into work, complete with idiots blasting MP3s on their phones and all.

2. I didn't get much sleep last night because the band at Sonic Cathedrals didn't even go on until 11.30 last night - I had to leave 4 songs in, and even then barely made the last tube to Brixton.

OK, let's meet at the station - though I'm not sure which train I'm going to be on, which is why I thought it would be better to meet at a pub. I can't remember what's by the station, except Joe's dad's office. I will message you if I miss the train, in which case, I'll be on the next one.

Play mornington crescent with me.

Kings Cross

I am having my usual curry. But I discovered Mystery Soup in the nuke.

And since when is Pot Noodle healthy?

I was being ironic about the healthyness of pot noodle.

http://www.squeezy.fsnet.co.uk/spiers_boden/Songs.jpg

Trust me, I'm as disturbed by this as you are. Fancying folk players is just wrong. There's something really incestuous about it.

http://www.cask-ale.co.uk/beerfestival.html

No! I don't go to festivals unless I'm playing at them.

Anyway, mods to Def Con One. I have on my desk the first cup of coffee that I shall drink in over two months. Wow. I'm kinda scared.

I have a funny feeling I've been to Shoreham. Didn't Joe have some art doo there?

My boss is on holiday - both bosses of the Finance department have left for the day. I wonder if I can skip out early.

sweetheratling, A very stupid thing has happened. I had your address in my ebay account for 'Fred". I then was lucky enough to make a succesful bid on the entire works of Henry James. They have been sent to you in error. It is a very rare collection and i want them. They are not rubbish so when they come 6-8 weeks please do not throw them away but send them back to me. Use my credit card. I am sorry. love ya Mum

How on earth am I going to explain it when this turns up at work?

(I'm telling you, we really should work on Shimura Curves: The SitCom because that is totally the way it's going, what with Anna's standup routines between the songs.)

dude, they work in FINANCE!

(I've just had a rather nice couple of days, incidentally, after all the worrying I was doing about it beforehand. And tonight should hopefully be interesting too.)

Johnny, I spent ages searching for the power lead for yr monitor and then you go and give it to a kitten to play with! Gah!

(it started off as a very crap night out, actually, but I cheered up a lot after someone tied me to a bench and tickled me senseless)

Ow, my back hurts. I hope I'm not going to have to get up too often today. And I have strange not-bruises on my arms - they feel like bruises but there's nothing actually visible.

My back also hurts. And I think I'm in withdrawal after five days without caffeine :(

Oooh, FP, what happened on your trip? Tell us ALL the salacious details!

Johnny, I spent ages searching for the power lead for yr monitor and then you go and give it to a kitten to play with! Gah!

Eh? Uh? Whaaaaa?

And then, I went out on Saturday night, and had a good time too, although again I felt very nervous and awkward - and like I always do at social events, I was full of "aaargh I'm the only single person here, the only person who hardly knows anyone, and everyone else is happy and having a really good time" angst for the first few hours.

After people realised that I wasn't scared at all the stuff going on around me, just at the fact that I didn't know anyone, the organisers came, chatted a wee bit, introduced me to someone else who wasn't that experienced, and after that point I had a really nice time :-)

How's everyone?
FP glad you had a good time

I logged on, thought "why's there so much activity on a Sunday?" then realised it's Monday. I got the day off because of the gig tonight. Spent the morning painting then made the mistake of going to Peacocks to buy shoes and came out with all this crap clothing. Honestly, they should sponsor our next tour.

However... I now have DISCO BALL SHOES!!! Oh yes.

Also, I am ginger. Do not point and laugh. I tried home highlighting this weekend and it went horribly wrong, as it always does because the moment any bleach hits my hair, my secret ginger tendencies come out.

I missed Dr. Who. That sucks. However... Jon from Bellowhead so clearly wants me to adore him that everything is alright. I have a crush on a folkie. Shoot me now. Even my mum was all "DO NOT START LISTENING TO FOLK MUSIC, IT WAS YOUR FATHER'S DOWNFALL!!!"

Anyway. Blimey, FP. I'm speechless.

x-post HURRAH FOR EMPLOYED ANDREW!!! JOIN US AND SLACK NOW!!!

Archel, have you also given up caffeine? I've decided that coffee is a BAD THING after how hyper I got on Friday. I was actually doing a full highland fling at one point. But that could have been the music.

Ha ha, I have just realised that this 'puter (new web cafe) actually has headphones so I'm listening to people's MySpace music for the first time.

Even if he has been hitting the pies, I guess anti-depressants do that to you.

Aw, shucks, I'm just jealous. I've uselessly had the major horn the past few days and I've had no such fun to be had.

Awww, I just wanted to take Carlos home and give him a meal and a hot bath and tell him "stop playing with those nasty junkie boys if they make you so depressed". I kinda felt sorry for him after reading the article because it's so obvious he got his heart broken. Even if he got so upset when they asked if the relationship was physical or not. Come ON. He was calling it a "romance" - just on with the Brideshead Revisted metaphors alread.

HA HA HA, I've just found the funniest picture of me and my SisX0r on one of her MySpaces. Drunk on the bus. Go here and click on Sailor (an amazing song, anyway):

http://www.myspace.com/manscream

Still, anything that makes you do highland flings can't be all bad :)

and this old lady came up to me and said (sincerely) "oh it's nice to see you having a decent meal for a change" because she thought i just made proper lunch rather than getting mcdonald's as per usual! little did she know that there was probably way less nutritions in the noodles.

Curse Ed for informing me "but he's married! and has a kid!" and me snarling back "I can LOOK, dammit!"

But Lindt 85% cocoa is great for getting the caffeine in.

Dammit, web cafe time almost over and I've not done anything I was supposed to.

work is slow. which is good.

on the plus side we all (12,000+) got a free copy of Office 2003 Pro for home usage from Microsoft, of course as long as we de-install it if we ever leave the company.

that's a plus side? 8)

a rise? i remember those from 2002...

HELLO OTHER WATERCOOLANTS. i still do teh lurky lurky on your thread.

looks good. except one of the artists is called 'Robert Pyecroft-Rainbow', which seems a bit fanciful.

The design of my possible compact washing machine is lovely, like a little white robot (Marvin?).

I've never seen an AS/400, but we still have a 1990-vintage RS-6000 that my boss forces us to keep for nostalgia reasons. It doesn't boot any more, though, and I don't think we have any working serial terminals any more either.

(ie, steal)

xp

Mind you there is a good perveyor of cheap linen clothes there so not all bad, and I've filled the boot with interesrting beer.

am currently trying to reverse engineer 5 undocumented and encoder specific bytes from the very bottom of a tree of quicktime mpeg4 tags inside aacplus audio files. i have 40 examples with various combinations of 4 different parameters and am trying to spot similarities and differences. reminds me of all those hours i spent disassembling jetpac back in the day...

Ed posting from Belgium - I feel all connected and cosmopolitan now, without having any right to do so.

I have a brie and mango chutney baguette in my draws ("Is that a sandwich in your draws, or are you just pleased to see me?") and it is severe danger of being eaten with violence despite me already having had a bowl of Fruit 'n' Fibre and a sausage roll this morning.

Currently listening to the Blue Album for the first time in a million years. I'd forgotten how irritating John Lennon is - that fake ending of Strawberry Fields winds me up. McCartney's stuff is a lot better than I remember.

Exactly what I have been doing :-)

Just had an interesting conversation with someone at the other office, about how I had a nice night out at the weekend. She seemed to have a very good idea what sort of thing I'd been doing, and I'm wondering why.

(not just what club I was at, but what I *did* there.)

I am HUNGRY. Why did I turn down a hot cross bun earlier? Am I insane?

It wasn't just that, though. There was something else she said which was a bit of a funny coincindence - it involves specific stuff I did on Saturday, that she wouldn't know I'm into.

I'm bored of being so busy. I want to spend more time posting.

She might use the same "specialist" board that I post on, but she doesn't strike me as the sort of person to do that - she doesn't have the internet at home for one thing.

The only other alternatives are:

a) it was genuinely a coincidence, which is of course always possible
b) she was actually there and I didn't spot her
c) we have a mutual friend, who has worked out somehow that we might know each other.

All of these are rather unlikely, to be honest, but one of them has to have happened. It *must* be a coincidence, I guess.

xpost: I thought there you meant "because we're too innocent to think of that sort of thing" - but then I realised it wasn't, was it ;-)

I know, from conversations we've had before, that the woman in question is definitely into That Sort Of Thing. And she knows the same about me. And if you live round here, and are into the "club scene" aspect of it, then if someone says to you: "a little club just outside of ..." then you'll probably think of that place, because it is fairly well known.

Following up to my last post: I chatted to her again, and she was a bit evasive, but I definitely got the feeling that she's been to the same place herself at some point.

I'm feeling a bit down about it myself today - feeling all "waah it was great but noone there likes me and I'll never get to go again"

(see also: my blog)

But what did I miss? Ed in Belgium? The outing of the edgy design journalist who launched a thousand ships?

Missing Dr. Who Episodes - YES PLEASE, KOOGSY - though I would love you more if you waited and go this week's one, too, as I'll miss it unless Anna lets us geek out on her set.

And I've whinged all about my problems all over my blog but I'm such a freaking idiot because I finally figured out that yes, it is a bloody crush and a HUGE crush at that, got my crush back to my flat, in my bed, and PASSED OUT because I was too drunk to do anything with him. And now I'm kicking myself that I've ruined everything for ever and all time. Bah.

But kind of not.

*waves hand frantically in the air*

Miss, miss, she's talking about football, miss!

I am NOT WELL. I am at home with toast and coffee and a dodgy tummy. And I have three weeks to find myself a new job. Does anyone have a spare one I could have?

Even though I know it's not, and there's going to be the usual awkwardness and the "it was just the booze..." and the "Sorry, but I don't think about you *that* way..." conversation, and then the crushing horrible feelings of ugliness and unworthiness and the realisation that I'm going to die alone and be eaten by dalmations my own paisley, like that poor woman in the Yellow Wallpaper.

x-post I'm ignoring that. If we ignore it, they;ll just go away.

FP: if you had a great time on Saturday why are you trying to sabotage your own reactions by thinking about the negatives now? If you managed to go once, you'll manage to go again. Of course it's hard to talk to people you don't know (I'm not sure where the not liking you thing comes from, I thought you just didn't know anyone?) If you go again (and again) then people will get to recognise and talk to you even if you're shy.

And Prawn, you know about my endless problems with Hair By Fairy - last time I had to have Suzy go and do the Nesbitt Shouting Routine at them to get them to fix the awful tabbycat stripes they gave me. Ugh.

Dammit, I lived across the road from the Geffreye Museum for nearly a year and never went.

Wow, that's just what I've been feeling! And I haven't even been cruelly rejected by anybody.

I'm not sure where the not liking you thing comes from, I thought you just didn't know anyone?

Yes, but combine people not talking to me with my own natural paranoia...

Just because people don't want to come up and talk to a random gloomy-looking ugly weirdo sitting in the corner, I assume it's because they don't like me. Which in turn makes me feel worse, which makes people less likely to introduce themselves - it's a bit of a vicious circle really. And it happens to me in *any* social circumstances.

I found a *very* good way round it a few months ago when I was at my friend William's wedding party - when I was away from the people I knew, I just rushed around pushing my camera in everyone's face, and hiding behind it. That doesn't work, of course, in places where cameras are banned.

if you had a great time on Saturday why are you trying to sabotage your own reactions by thinking about the negatives now?

To be honest I think it's partly a natural come-down - I might just be assuming that from stuff I've been reading, but it is something that does happen to a lot of people a few days after they've had a play session.

I'm not sure if it *is* that, because it's something new for me. On the other hand, it might well be; I said as much on the blog, in fact, but you have to know the terminology to pick up on that.

Me, neither! In fact, quite the reverse. I'm the only person who could turn having a pointy-noised Irish Dirty Dronerock Mathematician pass out in my bed into a catastrophe of national proportions.

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, as my ex used to say.

SANDWICHES SANDWICHES SANDWICHES?!?!? WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR LUNCH?!??!

Ack, ack, just had another phone call from the Disappearing Shrink. WTF? Wanting to know if everything was OK, and if I wanted to come in for another session AFTER HE CANCELLED THE LAST SESSION. AGAIN. And I was just trying to be all monosyllabic because I'm at work, and going "No. No, I don't think so."

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF, YOU BASTARD, YOU DID ME MORE HARM THAN GOOD, YOU'RE THE WORST SHRINK I'VE EVER HAD was what I really should have said. Grrrrrr.

And yeh, Archel speaks the truth FP. If you're naturally shy it's always awkward going to places where you don't know people, but if/when you become a regular, you'll soon get to know people, and it'll all be easier. I don't THINK I've met you (have we met? I'm always rubbish with names+faces) but you seem a charming enough fellow; unless in real life you turn into an assclown, I can't see why anyone would take an immediate dislike to you.

bit of an xpost, sorry.

But I really most stop posting, since this project is behind schedule, and those recordsets aren't gonna populate themselves.

It was Shirtless Andrew's fault ILX went down - there's a thread about it on the Mod Board. (I don't usually go there any more, but I did want to know myself.)

I was wondering too - I also looked for a thread and didn't find one.

xpost - well I'll check the mod board then :-)

have we met? I'm always rubbish with names+faces

No, I'm fairly sure we haven't - the London FAPs I've been to have always been very small affairs.

if/when you become a regular, you'll soon get to know people, and it'll all be easier.

But to become a regular, you need to know people first, in order to get in. It's a Catch 22.

God, I'm so tired. Coworker off sick and I'm grouchy because nobody seems to give a shit about stuff at work at the moment apart from muggins. And the one main thing I have to do today involves heavy lifting and I'm too TIRED dammit. And it's not sunny any more.

Someone just point me to one of the 22 million "why you should not have crushes on/sex with your friends" threads already, please?

Except I discovered the actual reason for his flakiness and it's a bit more complicated than I earlier thought, and something I have a lot of sympathy/understanding for.

It's just not *fair* that he ticks so many of my boxes. Except that one.

bobby g article is available online. is linked to from the ilm primal scream thread. photos weren't all that, him in a nudie suit, trying to be gram parsons.

did the divx on the medicine cds play ok? i don't really want to have to convert them to mpeg2 as that takes an age and if you're ok watching them on your laptop then i'll just leave them as divx.

xpost - it varies.

...except I have no idea how he feels about the whole idea because I can't REMEMBER.

He called his children Wolf and Lux. I am so glad I never actualy married Bobby G, that's just so wrong.

Well, Bobby Gillespie and ex-fanzine socialist TOOL James Brown are sort of a match made in heaven because both think they're about The Struggle Of The Common Man but one thing they don't fight is misogyny. EVER. It sounded like they were BOTH trying to blame those evil temptress models for giving them those nasty, nasty drugs. OH FUCK OFF. The whole 'was there' from JB was CRINGEWORTHY in its deceptions. Those people never hung out with him and also he didn't take their sort of drugs until 1991 (I have two exceptional witnesses to back this up who attended the party where JB met E for the first time).

I read that interview in OMM, and it's the first time in a while (since that libertines-mythologisiong piece in NME a couple years ago) where it made me want to actually beat up the writer! It's worst piece I think I've ever read, really.

Now am I going to just message Mr. Knight and say "dude, let's go get a pizza!" like we promised when he left, or am I going to be a f*ckwit and avoid him until the crushage goes away?

x-post DOOOOOO share.

Pls do tell about chat-up technique. I have a feeling it doesn't go something like: "Hi, I'm the guy they wrote Losing My Edge about, my SO lets me play out, fancy a shag?" DOOOOOO share.

What always gets me is that BG gets a free pass on the 'overomanticizing of the South' angle (example, while Eggleston's photographs are technically very good there is a part of them that suggests they are about the death of an Establishment that the photographer sees himself as a part of, and BOY HOWDY is he pissed off with being cheated out of the 'natural' order of things).

...and I am probably going to regret posting this to ILX, but you can only see it if you're logged in to MySpace anyway, but LOOK AT THOSE PEDALS!!!!.

See, this is the truth. I don't really have a crush on him, I have a crush on his pedal collection. Much better.

Pash, where's that pedal setup site I talk about on IMM? Do you have the link?

(p.s. how do you want paying for the bike computer - apols if I've missed/forgotten a previous response)

To be honest I think it's partly a natural come-down

I know that I get a bit low after pretty much EVERY occasion where I do soemthing really fun/new/exciting. Don't sweat it.

Read the thread, Barry!

bizarro set up thingy

Post's gone. (Sorry, husband still works in the business, eh, you know.)

Now compare this:

http://guitargeek.com/rigview/413/

To the photo linked above, and see who's got more pedals. And I think Peter has added a few since then, as well.

I am having hummus for lunch. I don't know what I'll do when we move offices and leave Hummus Bros behind :(

(p.s. "Broze" or "Bross"?)

http://download.yousendit.com/FE5EC10F3E91E5A3

funny noises made on wiard modular synthesiser

http://download.yousendit.com/FC07D56F047AEFAA

actual piece (warning contains guitar solo bordering on "shredding")

Except wait! if I come in on the bank holiday to month end, I can listen to it then.

(ooh, freebie glide mp3s here: http://www.bunnymen.com/Glide/mp3page.html and a whole lp that i didn't know about...)

Mossy, um, less my thing.

> fear is the mindkiller

where's this from? (other than a technical itch sample)

Not answering my text. HAAAAAAAAAATES me.

(haven't seen dune since i was at school, that'll be why. have the freebie dvd somewhere.)

But my first reaction is HAAAAAAAATES me, oh god, I've fucked up, I'm so stupid, why did I get so drunk, why did I go and spoil everything, and if drunkenly trying it on didn't scare him off, the emo obsessing about everything really WILL and I end up in a little sodden ball on the floor again. :-(

However, I did find the Jodrell Bank webcam.

Also, giant interstellar clouds of floating alcohol. I wish I were here:

http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/news/cloud/colour_w3.jpg

Slurp.

Eh? To what? Bad food reactions? I've not had any carrot cake or coffee today. Though maybe it's PMT. That will make me cry if I drop a fork.

Of course that's your first reaction! Just force yourself to do and think of other things until you hear from him.

Grr, I am all cross now becuase I got a text from a friend-who-I'm-not-really-in-touch-with-any-more this morning (at least I think it was him, I didn't know the number but he's the only person who would ask me this stuff) with an 'urgent' need to source a Philip Larkin quote. Because he'd mangled the quote totally it took me quite a lot of hard slog on Google/LION but I did it. And he hasn't replied, no thank you, nothing.

Ever since I got married he only gets in touch when he wants something from me, and I am slowly concluding that our whole past friendship was based on me being sexually available. Fucker.

Saying thank-you for helping someone out isn't hard work. Fortunately everyone round these parts seem quite nice and eternally grateful when I run reports for them.

Anticipation can go both ways, though. Sometimes it can be nice anticipation of "wow, this could be so cool" and sometimes it can be the horrible anticipation of "argh, this could go HORRIBLE WRONG."

Norm still has not spilled on the bby gllsp pssbl dt rpst story.

Kate, I having been waiting for nearly 48 hours to hear about a job interview I went for on Monday. "We should have made a decision by the end of the day on Tuesday and we'll let you know then", they said. It's now nearly the end of Thursday, and I don't know.

I know it's not the same, but it could be a mutually exciting and wonderful relationship between me and my future employer, or it could be me getting my hopes up and they are just plucking up the courage to tell me I'm not the right person for them, so it is kind of the same.

Anyway, like Markleby says "I know I tend to get drunken remorse even if I don't think I did anything dumb/embarrassing but usually it's fine.". I am often surprised to find I have any friends at all, let alone ones who will willingly spend time with me. EVERYONE does drunken twatty things, a proper friend will let you away with it.

Kate read it, she can update offlist?

Aaarrrggghhhh, no, that's even WORSE a situation. I'd be chewing my fingernails down to the bone over that, and beating myself up even worse. If that's possible.

http://static.flickr.com/29/53148413_7bc9834e86_o.jpg

I dunno. I feel like I should go and make mine own MySpace that is for ME and not for the band, because I get sick of wading through all the promotion to find my friends. But I can't be bothered. Bah.

Cranky and feel like kicking things. Wish crush would come back and make me feel warm and fuzzy again instead of cold and alone in an expanding universe.

He was also pissed - he'd been drinking all evening without eating supper. I think I just tried it on, and we'd been laughing the whole evening, and carried on laughing through the next morning. But mainly I just DON'T KNOW. And it wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't have such a stupid massive heart-on for him

Key line boldened

Do you know, I don't miss coffee at all, and tea only a bit, as long as I still have chocolate. Have overdone it slightly now though - hot chocolate AND KitKat (only a 2-finger though) and then my coworker came back from the shop with divine ginger biscuits entirely covered in dark chocolate and LEFT THEM ON MY DESK.

The Blog isn't about the band at all any more, it's just my personal Emo shower of shite about boys and astronomy. Which, well, I guess, is the subject of most of our songs these days, so it makes sense.

Maybe I'm cranky because Mr. Knight hasn't left a comment on my blog in ages.

About my webcam idea, Archie? I'll get it up and running tonight ;)

www.myspace.com/vietgrove

I'll bump the strawbs off the top 8 for you ;)

http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/common/camera30sec.jpg

x-post I've friended you, Pash, but you haven't approved us yet. :-(

Bah, phone just went off but it's not mine. GODDAMIT, I HATE PHONES, I HAVE A MASSIVE SOCIAL PHOBIA OF PHONES so how can a crush turn me into a compulsive phone checker?

Bellowhead are my friends now. :-) And John and Jon are my friends (double swoon). This is starting to sound like a Jazz Butcher song.

I want something but I don't know what. Food? Drink? Company? Entertainment?

Though actually, maybe I could go to John Lewis and spend my vouchers. Hrmmm. Late night shopping tonight, too, right?

Bloody hell, I think I've done my back in. I sneezed this morning, and ever since I've been in agony.

Anyway. I went mad at John Lewis last night, and now I have paisley sheets, Spellbound perfume and Portmerion china. Botanic Garden, it seemed made for me.

http://www.chinacraft.co.uk/images/Product/107427.jpghttp://www.chinacraft.co.uk/images/Product/107425.jpghttp://www.chinacraft.co.uk/images/Product/107426.jpg

...and I can't find an image of the Pansy.

AMPy was shouting at me last night. We seem to have reversed positions since the last time we talked, when she was complainning "I was in a relationship for 17 years, and now I'm going to be alone on my birthday, boo hoo hoo!" and I was shouting at her that friends were what it was all about, and if relationships were so great, we'd all be in them and getting really stroppy.

And last night, we'd completely switched around, and I was all gooey and lovesick and "but I liiiiiiiike him..." while she was shouting at me that men were rubbish and women and sisters were the only people you could trust and to stop mooning.

I have expired readymeal curry for lunch and I'm not sure I'm feeling that. I want slop to counter my hangover.

I feel like utter crap and now I really regret inviting DDM round for pizza tonight - except he didn't reply so now I don't know if he's coming or not. And anyway, I need to ring him to say "look, dude, if you want to do sound for us, how about you mix for me because I'm so sick of mixing I never want to see a mixing desk again right now."

I think I have finally sunk back into acceptance regarding my crush. It is not actually about teh seX0r, but about creativity, and must be treated as such.

And the rest of my department has gone down the pub, and I'm left here trying to solve an unsolvable problem. Bah.

(apart from ILX, there's a more specialist one that I don't like to read when other people are about)

Why is specialist pr0n never specialist enough? Where is my site of Pointy Nosed Irish Dirty Dronerock Boys? (and don't someone be clever and post that Mainline site.)

Hello, Kate, we are here for all your specialist pr0n needs!

I wonder - I'm sure none of you would EVER guess ;-)

Actually, since I've been starting to go out and meet other people with the same hobby, a lot of the time I've been bouncing up and down, wanting to say to people: guess what I've been doing!!!

No, I know I shouldn't really.

I don't want people to think I'm some sort of dodgy pervert, because I'm not, and neither is anyone I know.

(well, there is this one woman I know with a fetish for dirty dronerock boys - now THAT'S perversion... ;-)

I take it that this is not railway related?

Pash, come back, I'm persuading myself that a second hand birdy grey is a good idea, now disuade me with the price.

Rough:
Glasgow is bathed in beautiful sunlight and I'm stuck fixing other people's crap data while about 70% of the department has taken a half day.

I had to google 'birdy grey'

Erm, no. A different hobby.

Except maybe "I hope we can still be friends..."

watching an ilx barney is like watching two level 0 bots having a glock fight at 150ft.

However, the ILX tendency, that whenever two people get into a FITE!! to sit back and "get some popcorn" makes me sick.

I'm in a horrible cranky mood now. I'm going to take that walk around the block and get some coffee.

Thanks!

have a good easter holiday folks

:0

I already did.

My back's still killing.

I keep bursting into tears today at random, and it's all a bit shit, really.

JB, I've emailed you. I got your text, but there's no credit on my phone to reply until Monday. Stupid monthly calling plans.

2. There wasn't much of a relationship, or relationship material anyway. We had nothing in common. He owned FIVE BOOKS. It was never going to work.

3. My sex drive returning has caused nothing but trouble and has probably just wrecked another friendship, so it wouldn't be the worst thing if it just went away again.

My department has left. WHich means I can listen to music, and figure out if I hate this track which is supposed to be our flipside or not. Sigh.

Though everything feels like a Sign lately.

Tho obviously if you are seriously considering the SSRI's, it's important that you do so in a way that doesn't feel like failure. Would you have to go back to someone who might be able to suggests new ones, or would it just be taking your old prescription down to the chemist and saying "these, please"?

i am currently slacking and abusing company bandwidth (i'll finish what i'm meant to be doing (xmlschema -> oracle daabase create scripts, snore) at home over the weekend when i'm invariably bored)

kate, did those divx files on the medicine cd work for you? (converting an hours tv to divx takes, er, an hour. converting it to mpeg2 takes 3 so i'd rather it was divx, but that's no use if you can't watch them so...)

I don't know about the SSRIs. I do seem to be unreasonably weepy and up and down lately, and I can't tell if that's normal PMT crankiness and it will wear off, but it's the panic and the DOOM DOOM DOOM that's really fucking with me.

ack, and now this post has just been interupted by the suggestion of a pint. Good idea. We'll be at the Newton Arms, since it appears to be 10 feet from both our offices.

Koogsy, dammit, I keep forgetting to check if I can play the file. I got so caught up in listening to all the Medicine and Pale Saints I forgot there was a movie on it. I will try it and let you know, but my computer is funny about playing things.

~Got the "oh god, Im so sorry, that got really out of hand, I don't think about you that way, can we be friends..." phone call at the pub earlier this evening.

now drunk at AMP's house cursing men etc.

I think I've moved past the whole "argh, I'm so shit, I'm an idiot for thinking that anyone could ever find me attractive because I'm a repulsive lump of shite" for the time being and on to "you fucking idiot, you don't know what you're missing out on" but who knows if that will reverse when I sober up. :-(

I'm kind of worried about him, because I really had a go at him. And he's not exactly all four wheels on teh ground when it comes to mental health either, and I don't want to fuck him up, because, honestly, it's not his fault he htinks I'm repulsive. But still. Don't want to see him again. still pissed off and hurt.

ah well. I'm sure there will be a song in here.

I'm going to dope myself back up on SSRIs or bromide or whatever the fuck will turn me into a sexless zombie again because it's just not worth the pain of being shot down yet again.

No more boys. Ever. OK?

Which CD shall I listen to first? I've been on a JAMC and Secret Machines bender for a few days.

Even though, yeah, boys suck, especially dirty dronerock boys, pop star boys aren't real anyway so they can't hurt you.

I found the week's worth of medication that I stashed away in case something went Horrible Wrong during withdrawl and I've taken a bunch of that. I feel lovely. Except for the headache and the weird vaguely metalic taste in my mouth.

Guess this means I have to go to NYC for the wedding. Sigh.

Boys aren't rubbish! Some of us are nice. ALmost EVERYTHING in my shopping bag (I've ust been shopping) is organic, and I'm wearing a pair of stripey socks with toes - both of these points show how lovely some boys can be. Some boys ARE rubbish, but then again, so are some girls.

Why the big sigh for the wedding? Or would you rather not go? If you don't wanna go, don't go.

I'm making brownies later - yummage!

My biggest fear is that I'll be asked to be a bridesmaid, which I'm just hoping WON'T happen, as I've never actually even met his fiance. I'll go to the wedding but I will NOT be dressed up as a poofball. Sorry, I know this is her day and all, but I just want to be able to sulk in the background like the spinster sister I am.

But I do need a hollowbody, though...

I should go and sort my kithcen out, but I need a new wardrobe, so I'm been browsing. I need to get it from Argos so I don't have to pay for it, which I know limits my choice somewhat, but there are lots of reasonably nice ones!

Oh, never mind, I'll go for a cheap one, £59.99:
http://www.argos.co.uk/wcsstore/argos/images/6309767A62UC76082X.jpg
I'll spend the rest of my vouchers on . . . something else.

Mate, you don't need any more guitars. As nice as they are . . . no! Doesn't hurt to look, mind.

And yes, I do need that guitar. Once I've finished with these reports, I'm going to walk over to Denmark Street and price one in the flesh.

Wardrobe looks good. Furniture is the new pr0n, it's true.

Also "I'd be willing to do it for someone I know and love" - er, your brother? It's not just his fiancee that's getting married on her own, you know.

Silly me, I thought they were about commitment and love and stuff.

We are not close.

And marriages may be about commitment and love and stuff, but weddings? Nope. That's about the bride being Queen For A Day.

My wedding was not about me being a Queen for a Day. Just so you know.

Wow.

Maybe I'll wait and get one in the States. And I could pick up more guitars from my mum's house...

http://www.nuvo.net/archive/images/12.29.04/mus_BenjaminCurtis_dj.jpg

Wait, hang on, this isn't right at all.

http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/impeach/CURTIS.jpg

Was it about Mr Ailsa being a queen for a day though? ;-)

I saw someone who looked and sounded scarily like Kate today. Just for the record.

Plus, this was in York - I popped over there to try to find a pub that I might want to visit soon.

(My wedding was also NOT all about me being the centre of attention. Thank god.)

(don't know if you'd know it, Archel - it was called the Winning Post)

But still! It's a sunny day, the bus was only ten minutes late, the deluge has yet to begin. Hurrah!

i also ended up digging out all my Mary Chain vinyl, but only to add it all to the database, didn't actually hear any of it. (did you hear about the rhino reissues kate?)

God, four days off and yet I still got up for work this morning feeling like I'd been bludgeoned with the sleepy stick.

I think I might be getting a reputation :-P

No, it's just an ordinary pub, suitable for an ordinary pubmeet of ordinary people!

Now, I just have to remember how computers work, and everything will be okay again...

Oh, I get that feeling every Monday.

(I'm having trouble remembering that it isn't Monday today)

Welcome back, Carson!

Yes, I heard about the Mary Chain reissues, oooh, that makes me happy. I was listening to Psycho Candy at the breakfast table which made me quite happy. Never Understand has been rocking my world for oh... eeep. 20 year now? How can it be that old?

I am sorry and I did not mean to besmirch all brides with my snotty comments. But yeah, I'm utterly stinking green with jealousy because my brother is getting married and I can't even get a date and my whole family are making a fuss over him because he has ALWAYS been the favoured son and I've always been the black sheep. He's marrying an incredibly wealthy woman, and I just have a hard time believing that she won't be well... a bit spoiled, in that way that people who have always had everything given to them tend to me. Maybe I'll be wrong. Maybe it will be lovely and she'll be amazing but you know - she's marrying my brother. She's GOT to be bonkers.

I don't even want to talk about it, it just makes me feel like I'm a bitch for not being overjoyed for him. But I've been second best my whole life. :-(

Oh, the first time I saw 'em, Pink Industry and Sonic Youth were support!

Oh, and I'm fairly sure I saw Vic Goddard in the audience. (I'm more definite in seeing John Peel there. Oh, and 3/4 of New Order, as we all had a brief chat to them)

1) I was maid of honour at an elopement - the couple and their two best friends got in a car and headed for Scotland. This was amazing and beautiful and moving.

2) Green Card Marriage at the Marylebone Registry Office. The ceremony was super-short then everyone went off and had a huge pissup. It was a great party.

3) Huge, expensive posh wedding in Kent with friends of Joe's. Ostentacious as fuck, I knew no one and it was just awful.

I'm guessing it's going to be a lot like number 3, with the added extra attraction of having present all the members of my family who I've been avoiding for years.

There is no way to get out of going to it. My mum would never speak to me again if I didn't go. But I do need to whinge about it now.

Heh heh, actually I should turn up wearing punque rock clobber, get drunk and pass out on the dance floor. My brother would expect no less. Might as well live up to my reputation.

...or maybe I'll ask him if I can DJ. HAH!

What fucks me off is, they played at CBGBs in 1985 or 1986? And I couldn't go because my mum wouldn't let me go down to NYC by myself at that point. And it turns out that all the people I knew in NYC (pen pal friends) were at that show, and apparently the took Bobby and Dougie out drinking afterwards, arrggghhh!

Someone annonymous (Jo?) posted the greatest thing on my blog about getting shot down my crushes: "It's not the despair, I can handle despair. It's the *hope* that gets me." or something like that. Fantastic.

Nope.

Apparently, after I left for home on Friday, the directors came to have a look at our office, and said: "yes it is far too hot in here isn't it - but ventilation would need a very long ventilation pipe, so we're not going to do anything"

So, for a week, Alice would see me off to work with "Bye daddy! Only drink one coffee!"

we went to the railway museum in York on Sunday. Took the little fellow & it was all a bit much for him. Some pics will follow.

ilx NRM trip must take place! You will love it, I'm sure, I'd certainly be up for going again. High point was the open storeroom - loads of, well, lumber basically, all on display w/basic cataloging - stained glass windows from old railway stations, archeitects models, old railway buffet car teasets, engineers models of steam engines etc etc etc.

Best engines were a/ beautiful big black LMS 4-6-2 steam loco w/built in tender and b/mighty british rail DELTIC.

Says me, chugging the green methadone, still. Bah. x-post

I am in a good mood now, because I have just found out that Pipette is French slang for blowjob. Sweet.

And yes, Pash, we do still have reschedule that NRM field trip. It sounds amazing, and I really want to go.

That is one of the best bits, yes.

I can stand for hours in front of the York IECC console repeater screens, too.

Oh my. Just the right morning to come back to; a training session that should have happened last week happening today and blowing up in my face, and my assistant seems to have taken a rather selective approach in what he was supposed to do while I was away. I managed to stop the training people from killing me by giving them Tootsie Rolls, and now, now I must have chocolate...

Any news on that Birdy?

One of the others, in 1970s BR blue. DP1 is at Shildon, I think.

It's like, if you take an orange and cut straight through to the outside of the flesh, then cut towards the same line but at right angles, you get a lot more rind the second way.

I'm sure no-one here needs the example, but I just thought of it, and I'm a little proud:)

But why do blue flowers glow at twilight - i.e. after the sun has gone down already. Are there still blue waves bouncing around the upper atmosphere? Or is it a curious artefact of how our eyes are set up and it's a rod/cone thing?

Ed, the guy hasn't been to pick his bikes up yet, probably he'll be in this week sometime.

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/4/6/2/9/8789264-8789266-medium.jpg

More DDB's needed. But instead I shall have some peppermint tea.

http://thesecretmachines.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/benis1.jpg

Oh my lord, stripey jumper, pointed nose and a million guitar pedals. Could he be any more KateBait?

http://thesecretmachines.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/10%7E0.jpg

The Supervisor, Big Dave - who has been told he needs to do more supervising - came in saying "Oh yes, I'm in a good mood today!" This translates into English as "Oh yes, I'm going to be a tosser today." He then told me I need to forget what I was going to do, and do X, Y and Z instead, and he'll probably send me out to a branch office to do Unimportant Rewiring Job Q later too. He then buggered off to the warehouse, presumably to download ringtones and look at "funny" flash animations with the warehouse supervisor.

Our boss then comes down, and says: "I want you to do A, B and C today. I'll send you the information you need. Oh, and I want us and Big Dave to have a meeting about A later." This was half an hour ago, and said information has not yet arrived.

Big Dave then phones. "Department F are complaining that their systems are running slow. Is there anything wrong with their server?"

"No, it's running slow because you told me to do X, which *will* slow it down."

"Oh. Well. If they ask, don't tell them you're doing anything to it, otherwise they'll moan and say "why didn't you do it later?"

Fifteen minutes later, someone from Department F phones: "Have you finished what you're doing to our system?"

"Um... I wasn't doing anything"

"Well, Big Dave said you were doing something to our systems and that's why it was running slow."

AAARGH.

Sorry for ranting, but ... sometimes ... it gets close to Bash Your Head Against The Wall time.

Sounds top, does it not?

Well, the Boris bit does.

I've been walking around, trailing a miasma of bad mood, but I came in and there were strawberries on my desk. Yum. Normally the Finn leaves her work crap all over my desk, but strawberries, I don't mind.

30. Shimura Curves/Noyfriend
mp3 (www.myspace.com/shimuracurves)
...

Someone just left a comment on my blog saying it was the "whingiest blog they'd ever read" - like, DUDE, why read it if you don't like it? No one forces you to read blogs. They're just diaristic ephemera.

http://www.myspace.com/shimuracurves

(myspace players never work on my computer so I've never seen this done, but they must be getting the music somewhere.)

Ha ha, FP - I described The Lex as indie, too, but he's yet to complain.

People are bastards. Shoot them all.

Today it is a howling in my brain. Why did I drink so much at the weekend? I had forgotten.

-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?

http://thesecretmachines.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/ben04.jpg

http://thesecretmachines.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/52.jpg

I can tell I'm getting a reputation ;-)

http://www.leolicensing.com/Schaefer/Paisley/Green-Paisley.jpg

As you might know, I went for a night out the other weekend. And I wish I could go back. But I can't.

a) I don't know more than a handful of people there, in passing, so I wouldn't be able to get in.

b) if I did go, I'd end up feeling shit. Because it would be full of happy smiling people, all in relationships, who all know each other, and all having a good time. I'd be sat on my own, the only single person there, the only stranger there, the only person feeling crap. None of this is true, but I'd be convinced it was. So if I *did* go noone would talk to me, and I'd just sit in a corner looking like a weirdo freak loner.

Bah, life is shit. Why can't I just be brave enough to do somoething stupid, because I'm clearly never going to be able to meet any more new people or have any sort of meaninful interpersonal relationships.

http://www.showtack.com/pink%20paisley.jpg

x-post, bah, FP, feeling like that sucks.

But CBT has been a bit tainted for me by my former shrink's behaviour.

Anyway, look at the pink paisley cowboy shirt - it looks like mine house!

x-post, yeah, I know Ed. Do you know anyone else who can drive?

What else does it mean? Catatonic Bondage Transvestites?

There is a thread about rockism on "sound on sound" magazine's forum :(

The C and B stand for... um... two adjacent bits of a man's body.

I'd offer to drive, but I also live a long long way away.

Zithers? No, not really. Except I like the name. Didn't the chick out of Dead Can Dance play one, or was that a Hammer Dulcimer?

FALED

I think it was the dulcimer the guy from DcD played? I'm not sure though.

Zither number one

Zither number two

Tempting, eh?

The first is not a zither, though. I feel cheated.

Here's a lovely little zither clip:
http://mitglied.lycos.de/springwalker/demo_fINet.mp3

I guess you've got to practice quite a bit to get that good!

It's kind of like a bouzouki, yeah, but 5 string courses instead of four. I find all these little folk instruments fascinating, I must admit.

However, right now, I'm being disturbed by... PAISLEY CATS!!!

http://www.orionworks.com/artgal/dpc/diagonal_paisley_l.jpg

Yeah, and I was going to get a fiddle. Maybe that's what I should do this weekend, to cheer myself up. Buy a fiddle.

http://thesecretmachines.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/bencute.jpg

I wonder if I can walk to Denmark St. and back in a lunchtime. Pricecheck on:

1. Fiddle
2. Pod
3. Epiphone Casino

Do you think I'd actually make it back? Myabe I should just go record shopping instead. Can't think of anything I want to buy, though. I'd probably just come back with triple Yes live albums or something.

Can you get up to hobgonlin on rathbone place, they'd have a better clue at folk oriented fiddles.

Rathbone Place - that's in Fitzrovia, right? Dunno, will probably have to wait until the weekend.

Bah.

:-P

http://thesecretmachines.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/normal_59.jpg

http://hawkwind.4t.com/images/hwnz.jpg

http://www.jhin.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2005/q3/pink_floyd_at_live8_2.jpg

http://www.furious.com/perfect/graphics/pinkfloyd.jpg

to this:

http://www.brain-damage.co.uk/pics/crystal.jpg

to this:

http://www.jhin.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2005/q3/pink_floyd_at_live8_1.jpg

Secret Machines, watch out, this could happen to YOU!!!

http://www.orionworks.com/artgal/dpc/formal_paisley_l.jpg

Wow the paisley cats really are great.

http://www.two-turtles.com/images/swatches/PinkGreenPaisley.jpg