Cricket Summer 2006

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England vs Sri Lanka 1st test @ Lords.
England win toss.
Just after tea 212-1.Trescothick 106 Not Out. Cook 46 Not Out. Strauss was out for 48.

Teams

England: Andrew Flintoff (captain), Marcus Trescothick, Andrew Strauss, Alistair Cook, Kevin Pietersen, Paul Collingwood, Geraint Jones, Monty Panesar, Liam Plunkett, Matthew Hoggard, Sajid Mahmood.

Sri Lanka: Jayawardene (capt), U Tharanga, J Mubarak, K Sangakkara (wkt), M , T Samaraweera, T Dilshan, C Kapugedera, F Maharoof, C Vaas, M Muralitharan, N Kulasekara.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

213-2. Tres out 106. Murali gets his 2nd wicket.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

Alistair Cook has made his fifty.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

Cook out for 89. Hoggard is nightwatchman.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

Pietersen 101 not out. Great century. I just hope he can go on and double it now. Looks like a great pitch for batting. Im disappointed tres didn't go on to a double century. It really does look like a double century pitch.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 12 May 2006 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

My mate is doing the Guardian ball-by-ball this afternoon. She's dead nervous. Feel free to email reassuring words to her.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

James is an odd name for a girl. Or is it a nom-de-plume?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

She's doing the final session.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

god, but boycott is annoying...

blowers has donuts though, it being national donut week.

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

now he's talking about reymond's revue bar, oh dear. that sort of thing may be acceptable on talksport, but this is THE BBC YOU KNOW!!!

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

Haha I heard Boycott talking about that when i was in my dads car today goming home from my grans. Not the kind of thing you expect to hear!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 12 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

What is it with England and dropped catches?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 13 May 2006 10:42 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka are 484 - 8. This could well be a draw.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

510-8 attea. Murali might fancy a victory.
8 dropped catches in 2nd innings.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

526-9. Murali is in. If he can hang around or make quick runs a large chase could be on.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

They're off for bad light.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

9 dropped catches now.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka all out for 141.
England 239-5. Pietersen 100 no.
Flintoff just came to the crease.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, fuck Rooney's foot, Vaughan's knee is where it's at

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

100 in front eh, I'd settle for another 150 on top of that.

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

"Settling" for leads does not seem like a good idea with this England team

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

I rashly predict a 100 partnership for Pietersen and Freddie. Blame me when they're both out in the next over.

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

Pietersen is on fire. So hopefully Freddie will just hang around and find his form then let rip when hes on about 40 or 50 and let Pietersen take them apart for now.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

I always feel KP is capable of a HUGE score. But with only freddie there of the recognised batsmen and murali bowling he might not get the chance. So lets hope they can stick around.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

I have to say what a joy it is watching KP bat today. I really hope him and freddie bat out for the rest of the day.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

I have to say what a joy it is watching KP bat today

What are you doing in front of a TV you workshy fop?

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

The secret's out, Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy = Henry Blofeld

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

KP just got out one ball after he reverse sweeped Murali for SIX.
Damn! i really thought he was gonna get a double hundred.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

Freddies out. 290-7.
I doubt england have any tail ender capable of making a 50 run partnership like Sri Lanka did in 1st innings.
This game isnt over since murali gets to bowl in the last innings. The lead is only 149.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

Jones is out. 294-9. Murali has 6 wickets. KP tore him apart but Murali is now destroying England. Doesn't bode well for the 2nd innings.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

Should have put money on Sri Lanka to win this one

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

And get Geraint Jones out of the team NOW!

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

295 all out. what a collapse. 5 wickets for 5 runs.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka 2 for 1? What's happening, TV boy?

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

38-2. Monty just took a wicket.
Play might go on to 7.30 weather permitting(so what time do they go off for bad light? 6.15?)

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

Everyone's rooting for Monty aren't they? Apart from Ashley Giles of course.

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

43-3.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

60-4. Jones stumping off the bowling of Monty!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

Start of the 3rd delayed due to rain.

Yes, fuck Rooney's foot, Vaughan's knee is where it's at

-- No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (dadaismu...), May 26th, 2006. (later)

well yes :-) there is a better chance of eng retaining the ashes down under than of a badly managed/led squad who are hoping that someone who plainly won't be fit in time to take part winning the world cup. I'm thinking from the bits and pieces I've seen of england so far during the 'summer' point to the fact that I don't think we could do it without a fit Vaughan, whom we'll need for his great leadership than his batting although i think he'd score well if he's fit and ready as he is a class act, as oposed to Flintoff, who might find it all a bit much. But I also consider Geraint Jones to be a class act, too, so you might not trust my judgment on Vaughan.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 27 May 2006 09:48 (nineteen years ago)

Jones is only in the team due to his batting and his average is very poor. So we must play a different wicketkeeper in OZ in my opinion.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 27 May 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

What's his average again? He was making the scores w/Flintoff last summer. The team has been unbalanced by injuries and the whole post-ashes hangover.

As for the match - looks like eng could be in danger if Sri lanka leave a target of about 170.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 27 May 2006 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

(I'll make excuses for Geraint all day me..)

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 27 May 2006 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

I think they said on Sky Sports that his average is about 18.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 27 May 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

There was a bizarre moment earlier when, on 46, Dilshan clearly appeared to edge Monty Panesar to England wicket-keeper Geraint Jones.
The keeper took the catch, but appeared to be concentrating more on a possible stumping chance, and failed to appeal.

The appeal from the bowler and Marcus Trescothick at slip lacked the support that might have influenced umpire Aleem Dar, and he gave Dilshan not out.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 27 May 2006 22:23 (nineteen years ago)

Caught a discussion over lunch on radio 4 with Alec Stwewart where he maintained, while ans a purely technical question from a caller (the qn ws not about Geraint, btw) that it was easier for a gd batsman to improve his wkt-keeping rather than the other way round. Basically, i think Jones will get his batting back on once the team gets more balanced and right now i don't see the logic in dropping him.

Don't mind me though - I'm (maybe irrationally) pro-Jones and cheered when he got to 100 catches in test cricket.

and, of course, eng 1-0 up. Murali managed to get 10 wkts in the game.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 28 May 2006 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

His wicketkeeping is not good enough and he will never improve that. He's had his chances in the team, he's only in because of his batting, his batting hasn't been good enough so its time for someone else.
I do not want to go to Australia not having the best wicketkeeper available. Jones is not the best wicketkeeper.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 28 May 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

Do matches we've played in count? Just got back from a 40 overs match in Oxford. They got 196-9. I took 2-17, which I was rather pleased with considering I bowled four of the last eight overs. We were bowled out for 179. Having been around 50-5 a great fightback made it touch and go for 20-35th overs, but wickets started tumbling again late on. I was run out in the last over for 2. Do not try and run a tight one when you've just been hit on the knee cap. It's impossible. Inspired by KP's ludicrous shot last week, I tried the reverse sweep too. I missed.

Tea was particularly good today. Excellent sandwiches, three cups of tea, chocolate bar and a pint of squash. Fell asleep while our openers were batting.

The sun was shining too. I have the worst sunburn I've ever got in May. I Look like I've fallen asleep on a sunbed then been slapped in the face.

Cricket truly is the Sport of Kings.

― caek (caek), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka won toss and elected to bat. They are 105-6 just now.
They were 80-1 earlier.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

Write up of the game I played in on Wednesday: http://www.cherwell.org/sport/anne_s_left_down_and_out

Disgracefully, no mention of me (I asked the guy to refer to me as "Housewive's Favourite"). Although this was mostly me: "St Anne’s bowling tightened up, causing Wadham’s push in the final 10 overs to be restricted to just 45 runs." The reference to "Marcelle Dawson" has caused no and of lols, and Dawson's name is actually Daniel. Those long winter nets will just fly by.

Test match is looking silly. Over by Saturday.

― caek (caek), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

129-7

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

What is it with England struggling to get the last 2 out every time?
228-9 now.
Murali, the no 11, is on 30.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

I'm beginning to think that Flintoff, as captain, lacks the killer instinct. He's too much of a nice guy.

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka 231 all out.
England are 47-2. Strauss bowled by Vaas and Tres run out(suicidal 2nd single)

Murali is on bowling now causing havoc.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 2 June 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

England 161-6.
Jones stumped trying to hit Murali for 6.
Why is he still in the team? He's only in for his batting but his record is terrible.
Taxi for jones!

Sri Lankan tail put on like 90 for 2 wickets. Can't see england doing the same. Could be a humiliating defeat on the cards here. Murali will be bowling in 4th innings on a dusty pitch.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 3 June 2006 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

Collingwood showed some guts but Sri Lanka 47 ahead at the end - its not looking good.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 3 June 2006 19:57 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka 286-7.

Almost certain defeat now as Murali bowls on a pitch offering lots of turn. England will have to chase the highest ever total at trent bridge.

Batsmen will probably get out to the usual stupid attacking shots instead of batting like boycott and atherton which is whats needed.
All out for 100-150?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 4 June 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

I expect a better performance but we're going down.

Its been very disappointing - we really need Vaughan back, as well as a fired up Harmison.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 4 June 2006 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

I dont want either back until fully fit.
Id rather make sure Vaughan, Harmison, Jones, Anderson are fully fit for the ashes and wont break down when rushed back too soon.

I just hope the batsmen knuckle down and play in the correct manner. Anyone who throws their wicket away playing a stupid shot should be dropped!
Make the sri lankans work for the wickets. If England play sensible then they might make it. But i fear the worst against Murali. We need 2 of the top 3 to make big hundreds.

But even if its a good start we've seen how theyve crumbled in 2nd innings against Murali.

The field should be attacking so pick up as many singles as we can, keep the scoreboard ticking over without doing anything silly. Then the pressure is on Sri Lanka.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 4 June 2006 20:01 (nineteen years ago)

I agree - no need to rush 'em back, just saying that this series has shown how eng's form is so on the edge w/out Vaughan and maybe one of those three bowlers.

It'll be a better batting performance - i'd say we'll fall for 170-200.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 4 June 2006 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

I dread being 65-6 or 100-1 falling to all out 130.
Lose silly early wickets playing stupid shots. Then murali comes in and wipes up the rest taking 6 wickets for 10 runs.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 4 June 2006 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka 322 all out
England 49-0 at lunch.
Not getting excited. Bound to be the usual major collapse round the corner. Its happened all my life watching the cricket.
Lets hope its different for once because I've never seen england chase a big total and win before I dont think.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

95-1. Tres is out bowled by Murali.
Cook has just been dropped.

You can just tell the collapse is gonna happen. They cant play murali at all.
Pietersen will have to bat with a runner and freddie is injured too.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

Cook is out LBW to murali.
109-2. Wouldnt bet against murali taking all 10.
I can't see england lasting out the day.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

at 120-5 I think its over

― Ed (dali), Monday, 5 June 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

No fucking fight. Its a disgrace.
Flintoff needed to produce a captains innings like Ponting or others would.

Murali has all 6. Warne will destroy England this winter.

Its up to jones now to lead a fightback and score a century to take england to victory since he's in the team for his batting only.

Or its his last test match and someone else gets a run in the team.

Which is most likely?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

If jones even shows some fight now and makes a fifty id gladly keep him in for the pakistan series. But he has to start making the runs to justify his inclusion, and he hasnt been doing so.

But im backing him this afternoon. Lets see if that helps.
Go Geraint!!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

Gone for 6.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 5 June 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

Get him out of the squad. Read is a superior wicketkeeper and his batting isnt any worse than Jones has been this year.

We need to play read against pakistan to decide who is the ashes wicketkeeper. On current form it must not be Jones.

We need to start picking the best players available and not because hes a better batsmen. We've been doing that and the lower order has still collapsed again and again.

Why cant we show the fight that the Sri Lankan tale does?

153-9

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

Absolutely, Jones is allegedly holding onto his place because he's a better batsman than Chris Read.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 5 June 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

Read could get out for single figures in every innings and still have the same average as jones has had.

And Read is a superior keeper.

England need Vaughan, Jones, Harmison and Anderson back but we mustn't rush them.
Need them for the ashes.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

1648: The crowd are chanting Monty's name after he takes a single off Malinga to move to 10, his highest Test score. Belatedly, they have something to crow about.

1644: Panesar receives standing ovations after sweeping and drilling Muralitharan through mid-off for fours. Those were shots of the highest class - he'll want to be moved up the order now!

Are you watching Geraint Jones?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

Monty just swept murali for a four and a six!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

I will laugh if plunket and monty become second and third highest scorers today. The rest were a disgrace.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

Its all over.
At least those 2 showed some fight.
I knew once the openers were gone that would be it. When it comes to the crunch Pietersen and Flintoff and the others go missing. They cant knuckle down into a long innings.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

England 2nd Innings

Runs

Balls

4s

6s
M E Trescothick

b M Muralitharan
31
98 3 0
A J Strauss c D P M D Jayawardene b M Muralitharan
55
114 6 0
A N Cook lbw b M Muralitharan
5
22 0 0
K P Pietersen c T M Dilshan b M Muralitharan
6
18 0 0
P D Collingwood c T M Dilshan b M Muralitharan
9
39 0 0
A Flintoff c T M Dilshan b M Muralitharan
0
4 0 0
G O Jones

b M Muralitharan
6
27 0 0
L E Plunkett not out

22
47 3 0
M J Hoggard run out

4
4 1 0
J Lewis lbw b M Muralitharan
7
16 1 0
M S Panesar lbw b S T Jayasuriya
26
28 3 1
Extras

4nb 1w 13b 1lb 19

Total

all out 190

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

Oops.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

**When it comes to the crunch Pietersen and Flintoff and the others go missing**

For God's sake.....Remember Pietersen in the final ashes test? Or in the first two tests of this series? Remember Flintoff in last summer, and in India last winter?

But yes, Read in for Jones is a must.

However one bad test does not make this a spineless gutless team. They have been undone (again) by Murali.

― Dr.C (Dr.C), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

We still seem to lack the ability to bat a defensive innings or deal with tail-enders effectively. This final innings started as it should and ended with a fight shame the rest of the team failed to play conservatively or at all. Murali is a great bowler but he can be defended against. It galls that even with this loss we should have won the series, we ought to have won the first test.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah ok it was a bit knee jerk but theres still something not right as Ed points out.
We need someone who can knuckle down and make a big innings when the chips are down. Thats where Cook and Collingwood are expected to excel.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

If Eng had scored, say, 50 more would you have been satisfied despite the fact that the series would've been squared anyway? A few tailenders throw the bat around when the game is up and that would qualify as showing a bit of grit?!

Cook has only played about 5 tests and Collingwood has knuckled down.

Its true we're lacking some grit right now but I think Cook and Collingwood are very promising and will play well. Basically eng don't look very balanced - Flintoff is just not quite there as a captain (and how can he be? he knows he is filling in until Vaughan returns!), that workman-like Graham Thorpe style glue hasn't materialized so far but there are ppl that can do just that.

Basically, I think it will fall much more into place once Vaughan returns. If he doesn't then someone better tell Flintoff that, as captain, its ok to get angry every now and again.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

I like collingwood a lot actually and Cook is promising for the future yes.

Jones (Simon)is out of the ashes
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/5051030.stm

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 8 June 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

FIRST TEST, LORD'S, DAY TWO:
England 488-7 v Pakistan

Jones out for only 18 a mini collapse by england. Well done Collingwood on his 186 and Jones for his century. Bell is still there playing well. Hopefully Hoggy can stick around like he can do and allow bell to get a hundred and put the game beyond pakistan.
Pitch is turning so hopefully Monty can do some damage.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 14 July 2006 13:31 (eighteen years ago)

And still the question remains to be answered, what exactly has Duncan Fletcher got against Chris Read?

― Dadaismus (Are we in love like I think we be?) (Dada), Friday, 14 July 2006 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

Apparently he can't bat as well as Jones.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 14 July 2006 13:55 (eighteen years ago)

I think even Monty can bat as well Jones these days

― Dadaismus (Are we in love like I think we be?) (Dada), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:04 (eighteen years ago)

Bell just made 100. England declared 528-9.
Lets hope we can take a couple of wickets tonight.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:37 (eighteen years ago)

Bell gets his hundred!

Shame about Vaughan (and Jones, maybe :-)). Although dropped catches help both Cook and especially Collingwood have been v encouraging.

Hopefully Harmison can get back among the wkts and a cpl of other bowlers can step up w/Monty.xp

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Friday, 14 July 2006 14:42 (eighteen years ago)

Oh dear Harmison and Hoggard are bowling very badly. They just cant get their line and length. I hope this isnt gonna be a wasted opportunity with the new ball. Theres no freddie to come in and take over.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 14 July 2006 15:07 (eighteen years ago)

Woo Harmison started bowling better and now has a wicket.
28-1 Butt c Strauss bwld Harmison.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 14 July 2006 15:26 (eighteen years ago)

Collingwood has just taken an astonishing one handed catch at slip!!!! Amazing fielding! You have to see this catch.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 14 July 2006 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

Yes a fantastic catch! I'm very happy for Collingwood.

Last time i saw 74-4.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 15 July 2006 09:52 (eighteen years ago)

165-4 and the 2 big guns Yousuf and Inzy are in. I expect a huge partership here like the Cook/Collingwood. And these guys dont look like getting out so far.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 15 July 2006 11:41 (eighteen years ago)

Yousuf played a marvellous innings. Pakistan all out for 445. Strauss hits a captain's century to get Eng virtually safe and with a chance of pushing for victory on a 5th day pitch at 223-5.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 16 July 2006 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

About 4 wickets have fallen in the time i've tried to search for this thread. I've bookmarked it now.

Anyway
Pakistan won toss and elected to bat.
113-8. Harmison has a five-for.

Pitch has variable bounce so It seems its going to be a low scoring match with a result.

So its important to get the last 2 wkts quickly and then the openers get a good start.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:15 (eighteen years ago)

119 all out.
Pakistans batsmen looked like frightened rabbits out there.
Dodgy pitch? Great bowling? Bad batting? I guess we will find out if England get a low score too.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:31 (eighteen years ago)

49-1 @ tea. Tres was out for 5.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 27 July 2006 13:46 (eighteen years ago)

Never mind that, what about this

― Sploshette Moxy (Dada), Thursday, 27 July 2006 13:47 (eighteen years ago)

Haha I was going to post that actually.
Which mask is your fave?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 27 July 2006 14:05 (eighteen years ago)

nah i don't want to look like Pietersen for the day k thx.

Cor there is hope for the winter - Harmison ws quite something today!

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Thursday, 27 July 2006 19:23 (eighteen years ago)

The pitch was tailor-made for him if we're being honest but it was a super show. I'm even more encouraged by the form Panesar is showing. He's our first genuinely threatening spinner since Tuffers, and he has the potential to become even better still than the Cat.

And Alistair Cook was my tip for series top-scorer...let's hope he kicks on now and nails a big 'un...

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Thursday, 27 July 2006 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

Pietersen is due his 1st double century for England. Hopefully he will do it tomorrow. I think he seems the type when in form to go on and on and build huge scores. He scores that quickly that tiredness would hopefully not be a factor when he gets a big innings.

Lets hope he doesn't get out quickly now I said that haha.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 27 July 2006 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

You have ruined everything.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 28 July 2006 09:02 (eighteen years ago)

Lets hope he doesn't get out quickly now I said that haha.

Who's laughing now?

― Sploshette Moxy (Dada), Friday, 28 July 2006 09:51 (eighteen years ago)

The pitch ws made for Harmison but it still could've gone the other way if he wasn't as accurate.

It may look effortless but Pietersen seems to get really tired when he gets to around 140 or so. Vaughan is the only England player I've watched who I thought could go on and make regular double hundreds for eng. In the end he got 3 190s didn't he? And then the captaincy came in and the dodgy knee.

Cook looking good tho'.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Friday, 28 July 2006 10:04 (eighteen years ago)

Vaughan's never managed a double hundred in his first class career has he? Didn't Robert Key hit a double ton for England?

― Sploshette Moxy (Dada), Friday, 28 July 2006 10:10 (eighteen years ago)

He did yeah.
I agree that Vaughan always looked capable until captaincy.
KP.... bah.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 28 July 2006 10:11 (eighteen years ago)

Key did, so did Nasser (against the aussies, as i recall)? So did Tresco. But with Vaughan he ws really special. At oen time he just needed to get to 50 and it would be a hundred, and I think he ws getting into a situation where it wasn't long before we'd have someone who could hit one dbl hundred a series against any team. And none of this ws really hinted at by his first class career was it?

There are a few hoping that Collingwood could become a Steve Waugh-type. We'll see.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Friday, 28 July 2006 10:29 (eighteen years ago)

I like Collingwood but he's not Steve Waugh!

― Sploshette Moxy (Dada), Friday, 28 July 2006 10:33 (eighteen years ago)

Jones flops agian. Get him out!

― Sploshette Moxy (Dada), Friday, 28 July 2006 13:08 (eighteen years ago)

TAXI FOR JONES!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 28 July 2006 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

Play stopped due to a window or something in the press box causing a reflection. It was Angus Fraser and he could obviously hear what the commentators were saying on the tv and he flicked them the V sign haha.
376-7 at the moment. Bell palying very well and Hoggard giving could support. Maybe a lead of 300 is on if they can stick around.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:29 (eighteen years ago)

117-4. Yousuf and Inzy out. Jones stumped Yousuf and Inzy was out in a bizarre manner. He played a defensive shot onto his big toe and the ball looped up for a catch. 3rd umpire said OUT. There was no doubt about it.
Almost Gower-esque in its unluckyness.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 12:04 (eighteen years ago)

Monty is bowling really well too. Best I've seen him bowl.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 12:07 (eighteen years ago)

Bloody hell he just spun one so much it went to 1st slip. Then almost repeated it twice. I don't remember a finger spinner doing that.
England must keep playing monty. He's gonna be a right good bowler. I think he will also be able to bat a bit too with some hard work in the nets.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 12:12 (eighteen years ago)

194-8. Monty has taken 5 and Harmison has just taken 2 in an over.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 14:25 (eighteen years ago)

Harmison takes his 5th wicket in the innings. Pakistan 222 all out.
11 wickets in the match for Harmison.
Winning margin and innings and 120 runs.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 14:49 (eighteen years ago)

Cook and Bell played fantastic as well.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 29 July 2006 14:54 (eighteen years ago)

Credit to jones for taking 5 catches and a stumping with a broken finger too. Credit where credit is due.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

ok I thought it ws bruised, not broken - looks like Read (or someone else) will get his chance.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

Jones needed an injection, so I would think its worth giving Read the 2 tests and lets see who is no1 for the ashes.
Jones keeping has been mostly fine for this series, but he's in the side for his runs and hes not scoring. Lets see what Read can do. Jones might just come back refreshed and better like Ian Bell has, who is now looking like a top class international batsman.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:24 (eighteen years ago)

Bell's innings ws a marvel to watch -- totally looked like he would run out of partners and not get to three figures...until he did!

Read hasn't made the runs at county level since that hundred for eng A against Pakistan - but yes, he should get a chance - and not to be cold-hearted, but it would be funny if Read came back made a hundred and simply kept Jones out after what sounds like, under the circumstances, his best perfomance w/the gloves for eng.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:29 (eighteen years ago)

What if he fails with the bat? Will they give him the chances that Jones has been given?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

Well I suspect not - but Jones had totally proved himself to earn these chances and Read will probably get a couple of matches to try and show whether he really is a diff player.

Rodney Marsh must be loving this.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:49 (eighteen years ago)

If Giles is fit for the ashes i'm in no doubt they will pick him instead of monty for his batting ability(which admittedly will be needed).
But if Monty keeps taking 5 wicket hauls then it will be hard to drop him.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 29 July 2006 15:54 (eighteen years ago)

Jones is DROPPED.

England have dropped wicket-keeper Geraint Jones from the Test squad after 31 consecutive appearances, giving a recall instead to Chris Read.

Jones was suffering a hairline fracture to his right ring-finger but England's management made a point of saying the injury was not an issue in selection.

Chairman of selectors David Graveney said: "The selectors feel this is the right time to make a change.

"Geraint has kept very well this summer, but he has been short of runs."

The third Test starts at Headingley on Friday with England 1-0 up in the four-Test series.

Read, 27, has had two previous spells with the gloves in England's Test squad, but was dropped in April 2004 during the West Indies tour for Jones to make his debut in Antigua.

But the Nottinghamshire player has put pressure on Jones this season, scoring 601 runs at an average of 42.92, with three centuries.

TMS MESSAGE BOARD VIEW
I knew that Read's time would come again. Let's just hope he hangs on to it this time

SH
TMS: Have your say

Read said: "I felt that I kept well in the West Indies two years ago, but I knew that if was I going to get back in the Test side I would have to work on my batting because I hadn't scored enough runs.

"So I made a conscious effort to look at my batting and analyse where I can improve.

"I have worked hard with the help of Mick Newell and Paul Johnson at Nottinghamshire as well as the staff at the ECB National Academy.

"Things have gone well for me and I feel that I have reaped the rewards by scoring well in both first class and one-day cricket over the last couple of seasons."

Jones scored a century in only his third appearance for England, but has failed to follow up his early efforts with the bat.

He has failed to reach 20 with the bat in his last five Tests, although his keeping was excellent at Old Trafford, where he took one stumping and six catches.

Graveney confirmed the decision to axe Jones had been taken regardless of his injury.

He said: "The key factor for the selectors was his form with the bat and we believe that he will benefit from having a break from international cricket and spending more time in the middle with his county."

Jones was disappointed to lose the gloves.

He said: "It's a blow to lose my place, but the selectors have explained the reasons why and I will be working extremely hard to win it back.

"I have been very pleased with my wicket-keeping this summer but I am also conscious of the fact that I am in the side as a batsman as well as a keeper.

"Your performances in Test matches are always going to come under intense scrutiny and what I need to do now is recapture my best form away from the international arena.

"It's up to me to go back to Kent, and as soon as my finger has recovered, look to score plenty of runs and put myself back in the frame for the Ashes this winter."

Can Read's keeping and batting hold up in the pressure then? He's finally got his chance. Also I think sending Jones back to play county cricket will help his batting like it did with Bell.
Ironic really though after he had his best match behind the stumps.

I get the feeling Monty wont play in the ashes if Giles is fit due to his batting. Which would be a shame as Monty is a match winner and Giles is more defensive.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 31 July 2006 10:46 (eighteen years ago)

I don't think it matters if one out of 11 can't bat - its more important that Monty improves his fielding! Besides, its been suggested that both Collingwood and Bell could be in the side w/ Flintoff taking part in a four-man bowling attack (with Pietersen and Collingwood bowling some of the spare overs). That should work if Panesar and Harmison go from strength to strength.

Read has been picked, and it looks like he'll get a run in the side now.

xp = no Monty spins the ball and looks like the better wkt-taker to me. He should get a good run in the side.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 31 July 2006 10:48 (eighteen years ago)

Who wouldn't want a Monty mask?

― My Mind's Not Made of Gravel (Dada), Friday, 4 August 2006 09:11 (eighteen years ago)

Chris Read footwork was not v assured. Anyway, hopefully he'll get some confidence from his scratchy 38.

Pietersen lucky. Pak didn't got the worst from the umpires but weren't too disciplined either.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Friday, 4 August 2006 19:31 (eighteen years ago)

Scratchy? Hey, that six was ANYTHING but 'scratchy'...

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Friday, 4 August 2006 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

I thought Read played very well myself.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 4 August 2006 20:56 (eighteen years ago)

So did I. His dismissal was slightly unlucky as well, although it could have been avoided by going forwards. His strokeplay looked in fine order, though, and if we need to set a declaration target come the second innings, well, wind him up and watch him go...

He will of course be dropped for the Ashes. This is merely a placatory diversion for us Readites.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Friday, 4 August 2006 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

blah I meant to say Pakistan DID get the worst from the umpires.

Didn't think he was unlucky. From the highlights his strokeplay looked good but he wasn't moving his feet as well. Still, I'd like to think he'll be given enough test matches.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Friday, 4 August 2006 21:14 (eighteen years ago)

Bell just made his 3rd century in a row. He's really looking classy now. It just shows what happens when you get sent back to your county to make some runs and build up your confidence.

Whatever happened to Robert Key?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 5 August 2006 10:02 (eighteen years ago)

Ah, yes. Poor Key. Porky.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Saturday, 5 August 2006 10:25 (eighteen years ago)

key keeps making twenty and then getting out. This is not impressing the selectors.

Can't help but note that Read's already taken an absolute blinder of a catch.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 5 August 2006 14:13 (eighteen years ago)

FUCK.

This is really rather terrible from our bowlers. WHY, SAJID, WHY?

Sangakkara and Jayawardene had better start looking over their shoulders...

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Sunday, 6 August 2006 11:53 (eighteen years ago)

Heh Inzy literally collapsed.. onto his stumps.
451-6 at tea.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 6 August 2006 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

YOU FELL OVER YOU FELL OVER

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 6 August 2006 14:12 (eighteen years ago)

1538: Wicket - Pakistan 451-6 (Inzamam hit wicket b Panesar)
The drama continues as Inzamam tries to pull Panesar, misses, overbalances and goes down like a sack of spuds, wiping out the stumps in the process.

That is three wickets in 10 balls and as the players walk off for tea the complexion of the game has totally changed - the ironic suggestion that Pakistan were collapsing when they lost Iqbal seems to be coming true.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 6 August 2006 14:22 (eighteen years ago)

Monty took a catch!!!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 6 August 2006 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

Kaneria in third-top-scorer of innings shocker...let's hope we can bat all day tomorrow and set a decent target! :-D

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Sunday, 6 August 2006 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

Just better not do anything stupid and throw away wickets playing silly shots.
Tres really needs to deliver a big score.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 6 August 2006 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

158-1. Trescothick man out.
Inzy has been taken to hospital for x-rays after complaining of chest pains. Seems to be a result of his fall when he lost his wicket.
Doesn't seem to funny now. Get well soon Inzy!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 7 August 2006 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

Indeed, get well soon. He's one of the great modern batsmen, and if England are to win I'd want them to beat a Pakistan team unaffected by the vagaries of mischance.

I myself think they should have promoted KP to 3 after such a large opening stand, incidentally; we should at least try to up the scoring-rate a little and thus put Pakistan under greater pressure in their eventual second-innings. Also, those still calling for Strauss to be dropped are looking more than a bit foolish, the man averages about 60 ferchrissakes...

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Monday, 7 August 2006 12:26 (eighteen years ago)

A few quick wickets. But looking at the decisions made recently, if we want a result in this game, Pakistan will have to bowl us out by the middle of tomorrow mornings session. I cannot see a bold declaration coming (and they would probably be right not to - even if they make 350).

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 7 August 2006 13:38 (eighteen years ago)

If Bell and Collingwood go cheaply we could be in big trouble.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 7 August 2006 13:50 (eighteen years ago)

Bell gone for 8.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 7 August 2006 14:16 (eighteen years ago)

Come on Chris! Great start for England's No. 1...

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Monday, 7 August 2006 14:33 (eighteen years ago)

Chris doing good -- 31 not out; eng 299-5.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 7 August 2006 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

Read got his 50! Pakistan have 323 to win it'll be quite a testing day tomorrow. Obv gotta go with England and the pressure of the traget to be a deciding factor.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 7 August 2006 19:01 (eighteen years ago)

Geraint who?

In all fairness, this is exactly what most of us wanted to happen.

― Louis Jagger (Haberdager), Monday, 7 August 2006 19:08 (eighteen years ago)

I have to say, I'd have rather declared after the loss of Hoggard's wicket and made them face 10 overs with the new ball.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 7 August 2006 21:15 (eighteen years ago)

But that would never have happened. Bold declarations aren't exactly Strauss (or England's) style. No, I was quite pleased with yesterdays end of play - as today could end up being quite exciting. I think the odds are pretty evenly split between win, lose or draw - which is good cos that was one of my favourite quiz shows in the nineties.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 08:19 (eighteen years ago)

England have to get the 2 openers out then get yousuf out early to stand a chance of winning. need to get them about 100-4 and even then inzy is still to come.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 08:24 (eighteen years ago)

The new ball is gonna decide it probably. Need 2 or 3 wickets with it.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 08:25 (eighteen years ago)

well there's one of them

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 09:41 (eighteen years ago)

Another couple please quickly though.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:07 (eighteen years ago)

Well there's the next one. Pressure on before these two get comfortable. Especially if they get comfy to the tune of 300 runs.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:20 (eighteen years ago)

Excellent run out by a WHISKER! Oh, I'm starting to feel this now...

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:29 (eighteen years ago)

I think I should be watching the TV instead!!!

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:47 (eighteen years ago)

80-5! Sajid mahmood two in an over!

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:52 (eighteen years ago)

Both Read catches n'all.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:53 (eighteen years ago)

1253: Inzamam, whose late arrival at the crease is down to a rib injury, is welcomed to the crease with a bit of chin music from Mahmood. Inzamam, who last got excited in 1982, sways gently out of the firing line like a palm tree bending to the wind.

GOD BLESS THE BBC.

Chris Read really hasn't done himself any harm at all, has he. Four catches thus far and over 90 runs.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 11:00 (eighteen years ago)

Weirdness.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

WTF is going on? England awarded 5 runs due to "ball tampering" and pakistan are so upset that they have refused to come out after tea. The match may have been conceded.
Noone knows what it happening.

The whole series has been overshadowed now.
x-post damn you ned and your quicker searching/typing

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:14 (eighteen years ago)

Play appears to be going to restart and any time lost will be added.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

Will the umpires come out as they have been accused of cheating now?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:21 (eighteen years ago)

I was going to comment but I thought nobody would care. Pity, I predicted 3-0, looks like the promise of a royal rumble has been overturned.

It would have been a great shame, but still. Predictions are predictions.

I think what happened was that Umar Gul was done over for tampering by long-time Pakistani scourage Darryl Hair, and the team have reacted accordingly. At a juncture at which the match was becoming extremely interesting, this was of course a shame, and the actual 4 days' play have now been completely overshadowed.

Only in such a loopy game as cricket, eh?

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:23 (eighteen years ago)

Will the balls come out now one of them has been tampered with?

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:24 (eighteen years ago)

"A deal's been done" Yeah, Pakistan allowed to play but only with hands tied behind backs. ;-)

Mr, Buttez, steady on, the umpires haven't come out yet.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

HAHAHA!!! This is worthy of Jacques Tati!!

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:26 (eighteen years ago)

Heh, I loaded up Test Match Special...and the first thing I heard was the crowd booing.

Of course, in certain other locations, the crowd would have torn the oval down by now.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:27 (eighteen years ago)

...if this game was in Karachi...

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:28 (eighteen years ago)

They aint coming. Its over

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:28 (eighteen years ago)

DARRELL HAIR IS SITTING IN

(I'd wish he'd sit out of every fucking Test ever since what he did to poor old Murali...)

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:29 (eighteen years ago)

And this has nothing to do with the England players.
This is gonna rumble for a long time.
Diplomatic relations between pakistan and australia in trouble?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

Its a bloody joke this.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

Do they even have any evidence that someone tampered with it? If they haven't seen someone tamper then how can the umpires do what they did?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:31 (eighteen years ago)

Did you see his umpiring against Murali this summer? He gave two plumb LBW's not-out, conscionably because although he knew they were hitting the stumps, they were both leg-spinning doosras, and Hair believes that ball to be a throw.

Disgraceful. And if this game is being cancelled because of him, then his career is more over than that of Harold Shipman, GP.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:32 (eighteen years ago)

I'd just like to state that Darrell Hair is a fucking joke and shouldn't be a Test umpire. But I love any on-field fiasco.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:32 (eighteen years ago)

Still no announcement. WHAT IS GOING ON?!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:32 (eighteen years ago)

Bringing back memories of Mike Gatting now!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

BUTTEZ OTM

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

Whats gonna happen with the 1 day matches and future tours?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

Brigadier, are you watching on Sky or listening to Aggers on TMS? I'm doing the latter and his voice of wavering panic is growing more timorous by the second...

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:34 (eighteen years ago)

LATEST UPDATES All times BST
By Tom Fordyce
1730: Apparently a deal had been brokered between the two teams, but no-one thought to involve the umpires. The umpires apparently took the Pakistan no-show to mean that the match had been conceded.
"There are four stewards standing outside the umpire's dressing-room, and they're all big men." Simon Mann, Test Match Special
1728: Who'll be next to refuse to carry on? Maybe I'll sack this live report off too - throw my keyboard down and return to the BBC dressing-room. Only joking - the drama is incredible. I wouldn't do that to you.
1727: They're going back in! With no sign of the umpires, the Pakistan team are returning to the pavillion. Rumours are flying around that Darrell Hair is now refusing to come out.

"What a mess! What a mess!" Jonathan Agnew, Test Match Special

x-post watching on SKY.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:35 (eighteen years ago)

You lucky blighter! Ah well, only a coupla hours until us Freeview cheapskates get to see an edited run-down of the drama....

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

Heh, even convict scum like me is getting the visuals! (Via our version of Sky, natch.)

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:38 (eighteen years ago)

England were only 33 behind with 6 wickets left. This has spoiled what was the makings of a terrific test match. Could have been a great run chase on tomorrow.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

Monty at the oval on the last day with Pakistan needing 150 quick runs couldve been exciting.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:42 (eighteen years ago)

The Pakistani team-manager is defending his players to the hilt over the 'ball-tampering' issue. To be fair a Pietersen forward-defensive could probably knock a few stitches out of the seam...

Yes, Monty was my own pick as potential match-winner. I was also gonna say how for the fourth innings in a row Chris Read had a crucial knock on his hands. I hope that if the game restarts England won't have been discomposed.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

Theres no announcement yet so perhaps the umpires can be persuaded to come out. (or a replacement umpire).

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:46 (eighteen years ago)

Replacement umpires from the Sky commentary team? I nominate Ian Botham and David Lloyd...

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:48 (eighteen years ago)

I nominate Ian Botham

Ohhhhh, then The Oval would be torn down...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:51 (eighteen years ago)

This isn't gonna be over til tomorrow I don't think. No doubt the umpires are going to be in discussions all evening.
But noone is gonna turn up to pay in in those circumstances.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:52 (eighteen years ago)

Exactly, EB! Let 'em fight!

I live 20 minutes' train journey from the Oval, might go along tomorrow for the looting. :-D

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:53 (eighteen years ago)

Technically, Pakistan have forfeited so you might not see much...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

FOR THE LOOTING, Buttez!

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

What are you going to loot? Botham's stubble?

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:59 (eighteen years ago)

Darryl Hair's ammunition box.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

Well, anyway, it could be worse. If this happened in Australia, the crowd would have been chanting "Pakis are wankers" for over an hour by now.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

well, that's because you're all MISOGYNIST RACIALISTS, arn'cha?

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

Probably. You even get the racists at Adelaide Oval for heaven's sake.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

I think the teams will be out tomorrow. A decision is bound to have been reached by then. They have all night to sort it out.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago)

Is Adelaide a sort of San Fran-style liberal outpost or something?

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:14 (eighteen years ago)

Well, I like to think it is but the "fans" by the old grandstand let that theory down. However, Adelaide Oval is about a million time more civilised in cricket terms than the MCG...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

(Melbourne is the liberal outpost of Oz but the MCG attracts the racist ferals like bees to honey.)

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:18 (eighteen years ago)

Why is there so much casual racism in Australia, though? I'm led to believe that even in these enlightened days the Aborigines are still referred to in the terms of an animalistic underclass.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

I wish I could say why...but I don't know casual racism is still so ingrained in Australia but I spend my time in guilty liberal circles. It's very much a working-class thing, especially when boozed. Which means trouble when you're at a Test match and these yobbos turn up.

By the way, it's lucky that I'm a bloody student with no lectures tomorrow or I wouldn't be able to impart my views on this interesting cricketing situation.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago)

You also? I myself am in the same boat, although the reason I don't have lectures tomorrow is that I'm slap bang in the middle of a 3-month vacation. :-D ILM can relax, I'll stop bombarding them with my unreadable filth in a few weeks' time!

Casual racism is still a problem here, and not just in working-class circles, but their guilt is not mine to share. It's their problem, they should deal with it. It just seems to be so much more prominent and menacing in Australia.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 17:12 (eighteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/5268886.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/5269906.stm

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 21 August 2006 08:27 (eighteen years ago)

OK, so Pakistan were trying to make a point and Darrell Hair decided to act like the smug cunt he usually is.

Another great PR move by the ICC there...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 09:22 (eighteen years ago)

This morning..

East-End geezer to Asian shopkeeper..

E-EG: What about the cricket then, eh?
AS: Yeah..
E-EG: Incredible. What was that all about?
AS: I know.. Incredible.
E-EG: They reckon bookies were giving 50-1 for the win.
AS: Hm?
E-EG: 50-1 Saturday morning for them to win. Dunno if anyone would have taken it.
AS: 50-1. I don’t believe it. What’s that all about?
E-EG: Yeah..
AS: What’s that all about? What happened?
E-EG: They forfeited the game. Gave it to us. Ball-tampering they reckoned.
AS: No!
E-EG: Yes!
AS: No!
E-EG: Seriously!
AS: I don’t believe it. [..long pause..] Who was playing?

E-EG mumbles, buys seventeen (I kept count) lottery tickets, and leaves.

― Nicholas Passant (Nicholas Passant), Monday, 21 August 2006 09:30 (eighteen years ago)

ALL ASIANS LOVE CRICKET
ALL IRISHMEN ARE STUPID
ALL GAYS WEAR PINK

*ahem*

I've had a think about this, read the papers (in which Simon Barnes shits upon James Lawson from a great height, as usual), and I'm beginning to sympathise a little more with the umpires. Fair enough they acted in a highly dubious manner, but I think Pakistan were woefully petulant and unhelpful in their 'protest'. It should have been transmitted in a different, less destructive manner. That much is clear, the rest is all down to the slow sifting leak of fact and fiction.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:15 (eighteen years ago)

BLAME-O-METER

10% Pakistan
40% ICC
40% The Umpires
10% Tony Blairs and George Bush*

*Just because. Its probably an conspiracy.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:35 (eighteen years ago)

0.03% Chris Read

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:36 (eighteen years ago)

The umpires did everything "by the book" apparently. Much as you might expect your average humorless self-important obstinate jobsworth to do.

― ledge (ledge), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

if Pakistan were really outraged surely they should've walked off as soon as the penalty was handed out? Calling a press conference at the end of the day/appealling to the match referee to have the 5-run decision reversed could've been a better way to do it. 5-mins (or ws it 15 min) delay wasn't thought-through, surely someone knew that the match could've been called off and that this idiot might've gone through with it?!

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:46 (eighteen years ago)

OTM and fully agreed. Pakistan handled it rather pompously (as did Hair). The clash of egos was frankly too much for the game.

Perhaps we should let players hurl profanities at the umpire a la soccer. Might release some tension. ;-)

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:51 (eighteen years ago)

Blame could also be attributed to shonky ball manufactureres,Pietersen hitting the ball too hard, the weather, the fact that no liquids were allowed on the field of play and Geoffry Boycott*

*See Blairs and Bush reasoning above.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:53 (eighteen years ago)

It could have been liquid explosive, Pete. You can't take any risks nowadays.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:56 (eighteen years ago)

haha Pietersen taking pics while it was all unfolding er..classic?

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:56 (eighteen years ago)

KP's awesome. I love the way he just aches to be player, reporter, photographer, spectator and coach all in one. It's the kind of thing I'd do if I were an international cricketer. His is the sort of arrogance I respect: well-founded, cheeky, harmless arrogance.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

Be honest now. The kind of thing you'd do if you were an international cricket would be to act like Warney, ie: get fat and send lewd text messages.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

Good grief, this was the lead story on R4 news this morning. And front page of the Independent. You'd have thought we'd all stopped blowing each other up for a bit. Perhaps we have.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 21 August 2006 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

Xpost: As a fellow leggie I'd like to defend the foremost practitioner of our great craft from such vulgar insinuations. You, sir, are a disgrace!

(you're probably right :-D)

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 11:56 (eighteen years ago)

It is cricket!

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:01 (eighteen years ago)

But not as we know it.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:02 (eighteen years ago)

I think Mossad are behind this

― dud'Hab'c'Deva To You (With ReGard) (Dada), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:09 (eighteen years ago)

DEAN JONES TO THREAD

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

DARREN LEHMANN TO THREAD

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:13 (eighteen years ago)

Is Darrell's Hair Jewish?

― dud'Hab'c'Deva To You (With ReGard) (Dada), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:13 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry, but Mr. Lehmann is currently in the...er, the pub.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:14 (eighteen years ago)

ASHLEY GILES TO THREAD

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:15 (eighteen years ago)

Oh dear...

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/08/22/pak_hitler.jpg

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/5269904.stm

Bob Woolmer reckons the one-day series against England could be called off if Inzamam-ul-Haq is banned.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 21 August 2006 22:27 (eighteen years ago)

Ultimatum time. Good work Woolmer.

I hope in the future games between England and Pakistan are fought over the Ashes of burnt poorly made banners of umpire Hair.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 08:42 (eighteen years ago)

Umpire Hair was about two feet taller than Adolf Hitler last time I checked...

― Scourage (Haberdager), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 08:52 (eighteen years ago)

If it does turn out that grumpy Duncan had something to do with it I shall not be happy.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:32 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/22/world/europe/22cricket.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

"lolz"

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

WTF?!!!

Umpire Darrell Hair offered to quit in exchange for $500,000 (£266,000), the International Cricket Council has said.

The Australian, 53, made his offer in an e-mail to the game's governing body after Sunday's ball-tampering row which ended the fourth Test at The Oval.

ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed told a news conference in London that the umpire had been under great stress.

And he said he was satisfied Hair had not made the offer with any "dishonest, underhand or malicious intent".

Speed added: "He was seeking to find a solution that was in the interests of the game."

Hair and fellow umpire Billy Doctrove penalised the tourists five runs and allowed England to choose a replacement ball after deciding that Pakistan had tampered with the one which had suddenly started reverse-swinging after 56 overs.

When Pakistan initially refused to re-emerge after tea in protest, the two officials ruled that they had forfeited the game.

Speed urged the media not to question Hair's motives even though he himself was "extremely surprised by the content" of Hair's e-mail on Tuesday to Doug Cowie, the ICC umpires and referees manager, in which he made his offer.

The ICC's lawyers advised the organisation to disclose the contents of Hair's message to the Pakistan Cricket Board as they were relevant to the disciplinary case brought against captain Inzamam-ul-Haq.

Having informed the PCB, Speed then felt compelled to make the documents public in case they were leaked anyway.

Hair is hoping to continue officiating, saying in a statement: "This correspondence was composed after a very difficult time and was revoked by myself two days later after a period of serious consideration.

"There was no malicious intent behind this communication with the ICC.

"I am anxious that the code of conduct hearing takes place as soon as possible so these matters can be resolved and allow me to move on with my umpiring."

Pakistan complained about Hair's performances earlier in the series but the Australian has denied being biased against Asian countries.

He is not sacked, he is not suspended, and he has not been charged - I didn't guarantee those positions would be maintained indefinitely

Speed on Hair

He famously reported Sri Lanka spinner Muttiah Muralitharan for having a suspect bowling action in 1995.

Pakistan have already said they do not want him to umpire any of their games in the future.

And Speed refused to offer any assurances about his future in the game.

"Darrell Hair has been in a difficult position since Sunday and as a result of this disclosure that position has been made more difficult," the ICC chief executive said.

"I have said to him that he is not sacked, he is not suspended, and he has not been charged.

"I also said to him that I didn't guarantee that each of those three positions would be maintained indefinitely."

Former England captain Mike Atherton can see no way back for him.

"Darrell Hair, after these extraordinary letters, finds himself under no charge whatsoever," he said.

"It is hard to see how he can umpire at any future international match. They have made his position untenable now."

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 25 August 2006 15:45 (eighteen years ago)

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