Four Words: Use Other Words Please

I've always chafed against constant use of those damn emoticons. You know - ;), :), :P, %). Once in a while, okey dokey. Fifteen times in the same "conversation", I'm about to go alkdjfalkj.

Origin of such things (i.e. "Two words:", "Can you say...") - television. Bane of our existance. Glass tit. Sweet oblivion.

The "two words:" contruction probably does come from tv, but I don't recall it as such. It's just one of those phrases you begin hearing a lot, and it seeps into the conciousness.

My most loathed written tics: most (if I'm honest probably all) internet and marketing phrases raise my hackles, but other than that I'm hard put to think of any. I am morely likely to loathe a writer's style in general than one particular phrase or tic.

Marketingspeak is bad - the worst thing is you build up a tolerance.

Anyhow, here is a link to who I was talking about. He's been in so much crap over the years I incorrectly assumed there would be reruns of them floating throughout the galaxy. I've not checked but hopefully there's some disgustingly beardy pics somewhere on the site.

Remember: man who owns no TV cannot grumble when out of loop

Someone already said emoticons? Me & Maryann were just arguing about who should start the 'Emoticons - classic or dud' thread, we were both going No you do it...both thought it'd be taken as insulting by just about everyone that posts to this board, y'know, 'cause are we the only people that don't use the little buggers? what about that "tongue hanging out" one, does that even mean anything?

"I don't approve of people who don't approve of emoticons (my apologies if this topic is as done-to-death as I think it might be). Those people tend to be what Momus calls "independent content creators", poets and art workers who like the idea of the net as a place to Think and Write and Express Themsleves. Their objections to emoticons tend to involve the little mood-signifiers' 'crassness' and 'coyness' and 'tweeness', and they carry the sniffy implication that emoticons are somehow common, for people who can't express themselves properly in English - and, worse, that the unrestrained use of emoticons will somehow annihilate nuanced expression.

Of course there are plenty of examples of net discourse where emoticons are inappropriate or coarsening - I can't stand Epinions' habit of encouraging literate reviews and then reducing them to a little face, for example, and in a considered, essay-style piece, they are indeed the sign of a writer not doing the job properly. And yes, some people use them excessively, like a nervous tic, or use pointlessly baroque variations on the simple :-) theme. But the anti- squad's objections betray not just snobbery, but also I think a misunderstanding about what emoticons are for. The internet is a communications medium as well as a writerly one, and at its frequent best it can be both. But a lot of these communications - particularly in chatrooms and on message boards, the breeding grounds of the smiley - are neccessarily fast and immediate. Emoticons speed stuff up, bring the internet a little closer to the instancy of spoken communication. That alone wouldn't justify them, but they're more useful than that - with a smiley or a frowney or whatever you don't have to concentrate so hard on nuance and tone, and that's a good thing - in fast, info-rich communication, things like tone and writing style are noise, not signal.

The other thing that offends the red-blooded anti-smiley brigade is that emoticons are by definition defensive, things to hide behind. The most personal or repugnant comment can be defused by having an arch little semicolon-dash-bracket stuck on the end. Except it can't: I've called people on things said behind the smiley veil before, and dismissed the emoticon. Emoticons aren't prophylactics, they're only as protective as the recipient, not the user, wants them to be. What they symbolise as much as anything else is a willingness to debate, to accept cultural differences, to keep an open mind - they symbolise a desire to come to terms with ambiguity. Ambiguity is as hateful an idea to new media blowhards as it is to old media blowhards, and it's easy to see why the more combatative netizens find emoticons repugnant: they're the gentle lubricant to internet conversation, the solvent that breaks down the old Little Internetter divide between 'newbies' and the rest of us."

Sticks tongue out at Duane :P

As prophylactics: well, yes, I think I don't use them mainly as a kind of net-chat barebacking — the risk of being taken ill and thought rude is quite exciting, when actually I'm not particularly rude "in person". The wink one irritates mainly for the reason that winking itself irritates me: an offline communication device I have never dared attemt, let alone master. }:—£>

If you are writing a review or critical essay it's a lot easier for the reader to suss out irony or satire, but I have found in these type of forums where postings can be limited to a sentence or two, it's a lot more difficult for some people to detect irony. I would really rather throw in the occaisonal emoticon instead of having people continually take things the wrong way.

As evidenced by ILM today, there should be some sort of academic standard set up before anyone is allowed to post any sort of opinion. Expansive references to Derrida and John Cage are appreciated, but not necessary. If unfamiliar with semiotics, one should (to use one of those terrible pre-made phrases) "hit the road".

What's any big deal about OTOH or FWIW? those're OK things to say in real life, i mean in their full length form...IMHO is kind of a wankerish thing to say in real life tho so = also strictly from wanksville in its abbrev. form. Internet- type writing - it's just about tring to write how you speak. Actually I make much use of bizarre facial expressions in my infrequent "real- time" conversations, so my emoticonphobia is RANK HYPOCRISY.

Fuck Orwell anyway. I hate him. :—§

Who's talking abt Derrida? I'm on the wrong forum, kids! Later!!

I would just like to see the death of them. It represents all that the internet has done wrong to people - they can't even get sarcasm or irony or even just obvious humor without a BIG HAPPY FACE next to it? Hello, what is that about? How does anyone read books anymore? That's a good question - who wants to take bets on how long it is before we get a novel peppered with emoticons.

For some reason my computer is very slow right now.

My favorite smiley faces: [:O) - Ringo Starr {:0 - a mommoni

Radical solution: no more apostrophes anywhere.

Oh dear I always put apostrophes with decades...I had this idea in the back of my mind that because it's a number it required an apostrophe but clearly I was wrong.

I think it used to be more common - maybe even more widely approved of - than it is today, though.

That said, I never fully understood the rules of punctuation, because as soon as I seemed to grasp them, they'd change all over again. Or mybe I'd just move to another country.

Incidentally, in case no one has mentioned it further up, 'Two words' was Denis Leary's catchphrase, wasn't it?

I have never dared try any of these.

"SIR - The apostrophe is a catastrophe."

Andrew Atkins, Dorking, Surrey.

Worst word ever: on good-then-tedious TV series Red Dwarf, "smeg" used as "fuck" substitute. That caught on with NO ONE. "Feck" from Father Ted caught on - I use that (along with fark, fug, frig, etc.) but smeg? BLAH!

"1980's": this abomination irks me, too. Esp. on big commercial corporate advertising copy. Given their seven figure budgets, you'd think they'd hire someone who could actually frickin spell. Feckers!

Listen, let it occur to you that perhaps people might slip in their grammar, or make use of a tired/annoying cathchphrases, or not know who Derrida is, for a thousand legitimate reasons.

I'm restraining my ire in a big way right now, but I can tell you firsthand, that sometimes these things have nothing to do with intelligence or creativity or laziness. It means nothing to anyone except myself now, but when I was young I was "officially" the smartest kid in my school and used to read anywhere from fourteen to twenty books a week. I was also touted as an artistic genius by many of my teachers. But right NOW I could easily be one of these annoying people that is getting the message to "hit the road" or whatever it was that Nicole said - not meaning to single you out Nicole, because I'm getting that same vibe from others too.

Life can take a toll on anyone. If you're someone who had to fend for themsleves, and if you had a lot of "distractions" going on during the crucial years of your secondary school life, and if by circumstance had to work exhaustingly long hours at shit minimum wage jobs for years afterward just to eat and support yourself, finally clawing your way upward to a respectable and well paying position without the aid of a degree, the truth is that these things *are* going to suffer in at least some small way.

This is a discussion board after all - it's not work, somewhere that I *would* do grammar and spell checks - I come to these things to escape all that and speak in a more relaxed way. I'm usually totally wiped out from my day. Is that lazy to you? Who says all good discussion is "formal" discussion anyway? eh... don't know what else to say.

1. They are amusing
The humour is weak - why? - because they were invented by 12 YEAR OLDS. Once kids reach 12 they stop being funny.

2. They are innocent. You're a killjoy.
This is based on their having been invented by 12 year olds. Are they, in fact, innocent? a) They were not invented by the Japanese. Strike one against their guilelessness. b) They reek of just pre-pubescent boys who've been shut in a small room for half an afternoon playing dungeons and dragons. NOT INNOCENT.
That's all.

The "hit the road" I took as ironic and rather stingingly so. While there's nothing to be ashamed of about introducing some theoretics into things, it shouldn't be used as some kind of look-at-my-brain showoff move. Being inured to this (or guilty of it) I've not noticed that, but sorry if you have.

And yeah, keep posting!

Ok. I'm placated. I guess I did misread Nicole. Going to the office now - I have one of those unfortunate jobs where I'm around computers all day but have zero time to do any of *this* stuff. Good thing I keep this laptop on my coffetable at home.

The apostrophes in dates: what bugs me I think is the fiddly keyb work going into making an unnecessary mistake, conforming to the Proper w/o being sure what the Proper is. Cuz fear rules: I hate that. Make up yr own better rules.

(btw, Nicole, I've changed my mind abt pash again. "I have pash = "I have erection" = kewl. Wrong = kewl. So no T.Yorke lickage required.)

My best friend PT once described an event as "A Damp Squid": OK, how cd I not burst out laughing? But then I couldn't persuade her that it was my favourite phrase ever, and that I wasn't just laughing at her. Yeah, sometimes I suXor.

Kim, please don't think that! If I was being serious when I wrote that I would have to eject myself from the board -- I'm not one of the world's great writers by any means. I was being very sarcastic when I wrote that, I actually agree with what you're saying. All I'm really interested in is hearing other peoples ideas and opinions, I'm not too bothered with how they write them.

This is why I use emoticons, people.

It's hardly fiddly to insert an apostrophe is it? And how is it an 'unnecessary' mistake? Having said that, it's weird that I was never *aware* of the issue before. I was actually blind to the absence of that apostrophe in 'correct' usage - because if I'd noticed it I would surely have ammended my own usage.

I note that Nicole offered up what I think is a crucial point here:

One reason I use emoticons: seems when I don't, I invariably get "Are you serious?!" types of responses. I've even received a couple of very angry and offended emails from people who had taken something I had written at face value. Hence the use of emoticons...

Something which I stand by constantly, of course.

"Your mileage may vary"

(Nick, curly Jackie asked after you yesterday. She sends her love)

You're right - this thread is nasty.

i've seen nastier

N: have you been seeing a sudden upsurge in this recently? I've been seeing YMMV for about 10 years, on and off.

why does every goddamn description of a southern (US) accent call it a "drawl"?? USE OTHER WORDS, PLEASE

Drawing your vowels out = drawl

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drawl

They use it because it's a readily recognizable feature of a dialect and it's quick and easy to say compared to "dialect" or "way of speaking" or "he drags out his vowels"; and "southern accent" sounds weird to some people because they associate accents with other languages.

my point is that some - many? most? - southern accents are not drawls

people who call their computer a "'puter"

or a pooter

meta
ad hominem

(not singling out the latest post by kdt, btw. I've been tired of these two for a long while)

Today I learned on Twitter that some people call sunglasses "sunnies"

ffs why

sunglasses successor will be along shortly to explain it all.

ha

"You do you"???? I've never heard anyone say this and would at least briefly contemplate hitting someone who did.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/05/magazine/how-you-do-you-perfectly-captures-our-narcissistic-culture.html

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DyF8FiUWkAYZDdI.jpg

ugh

instantiation

like, is "instance" not good enough for you

The term was originally coined by Coca-Cola as "throat share",[2] in order to measure how much of the world's beverages were theirs, but is now more commonly referred to as share of throat.[3]

Today I learned on Twitter that some people call sunglasses "sunnies"

ffs why

Those same people call sandwiches "sammies". I can't help but hear that in a widdle kid voice.

I'll allow both if you're Australian, otherwise no.

"Share of throat" is a nightmare.

I was about to say. FFS why? Because Australia.

instantiation

like, is "instance" not good enough for you

― Οὖτις

i kind of enjoy this from a descriptivist perspective. first it gets established with the meaning "process of instantiating", then once that's happened somebody forgets what the product of instantiating is and the word "instantiation" pops into their head. i find it endearingly silly.

"Share of throat" is clearly a vampire term

sammies for sandwiches is American, not Australian; FP'd emily.