Scottish Football Predictions Competition: Thread 2

treefell  	14
ilx_onimo 	14
scotstvo 	13
aldo_cowpat 	10
ailsa_xx 	10
MCibula 	10

Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov today (Friday 18 August) hit out at comments attributed to Lee Johnson in Thursday's Scottish Sun.

Mr Romanov said: "I don't know whose puppet The Sun is. It is good though when the enemies and the jealous call my subordinates puppets. It would be bad if some day I become the puppet in the hands of my own subordinates.

"When I was on duty on the nuclear submarine K19, I was proud of being a puppet in the hands of my commander. I am still proud of it today.

"Before every match against the Glasgow teams, the Glasgow media puppets will attempt to disgrace our club because of their impotence.Because of this we enjoy every victory against them even more.

Mr Romanov continued: "I don't know what kind of experiment Graham Rix had in mind when taking Lee Johnson on. He did not manage to explain it. As a footballer he has no value. This was proved by the fact that nobody was prepared to pay a penny for him and we were even asked to pay money to get rid of him.

"Regarding 'pyjama man', that person is a great professional and we are awaiting clearance on a work permit for him so that he can come and work at the club. At the moment he is doing a great job in Kaunas.

"Perhaps Lee was jealous of Edgaras Jankauskas placing his finger in equipment to ascertain his health, however it would have been better for the man now at Bristol City to have placed his tongue there to ascertain his suitability to speak."

If Jose Mourinho had a similar sense of humour, we English might not detest him so much.

Strachan and O'Neill are indeed legends, incidentally. Whenever they're BBC pundits they outshine everyone else in the room with their unfailing OTM-ness, every single time.

Still, I got Rangers' 1-1 draw last weekend correct. (Observant viewers will notice that I've predicted 1-1 for Rangers every week for about two seasons. It had to pay off one day)

Onimo steals my text messages and posts them to ILE!

Paisley is full of happy people! yay! (including me because I had them down for the 1-1 draw)

Ivan Golac to thread. And hello everyone!

Also HELLO!!! (we're all going to a pub on Friday when Ken is here. Are you coming? I'm going to start a thread)

I will not be at Ken FAP but may be about in a couple of weekends time (wedding in Edinburgh, could be persuaded to go through Glasgow).

In the meantime, a thumping win takes us to the heady heights of eighth. Woo.

Still, at least we're not out of the CIS Cup to Queen's Park (i.e. let's all laugh at teh sheepfuxors)

In other news, here's the article that made the Sun get all cross with Paul Hartley, courtesy of some dude on a Hearts forum.

http://img528.imageshack.us/my.php?image=hartleywc3.jpg

Captions on BBC Scotland highlights. "Dodgy ref pt 1" and "dodgy ref pt 2" so far. Funnily enough they aren't criticising the ref for sending Neil McCann off for trying to sever some bloke's foot. Also what sort of tube gets booked for wearing an earring?

There's a bloke called Toszer in the AEK Athens squad.

hurrah

I'm booked up for Lisbon - anyone else going globe-trotting to see teh Hoops?

Song for Jan:
http://video.google.com/videoplaydocid=1303763839207630036&q=hesselik

Fed up looking at Man U tbh :(

JohnFoxxsJuno, did you get caught up in the "Celtic print wrong match date on website therefore loads of people book one-day trips and end up flying back home to Glasgow before the match even kicks off in Portugal" fiasco?

J-VoH looks teh biz, doesn't he? Compared to the headless chicken that is Kenny Miller at any rate. Naylor's going to be alright as well. Bring on Gravesen, wave bye-bye to Neil Lennon, and it's starting to look OK again.

Tickets for Old Trafford are available RIGHT NOW on Thomas Cook's site for those quick off the mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb9sj_wp3qM

Lots of lolz at Celtic fans (and I include myself in this) heralding the arrival of a big man to hoof it up to after spending half a decade moaning about MON playing 'hoof it up to the big man' football.

Bring on teh Gravesen!

Friday:
Scotland U21 v France U21
Rep of Ireland U21 v Belgium U21

Saturday:
Scotland vs Faroe Islands
Czech Republic v Wales
England v Andorra
Germany v Rep of Ireland
Northern Ireland v Iceland

Post your predictions here.

3 points for a correct result. 5 points for a correct score.

Bonus 1: How many penalties will be scored in total. 5 points for correct answer, 3 points for +/-1.

Bonus 2: Choose three Scotland senior or U21 players. You get 3 points for each goal scored by those three.

I'll buy the winner a pint if he/she turns up for aldoFAP next week. If I win I'll expect someone to buy me one.

1 penalty, England match.

Calum Elliot, Scott Brown, Kris Boyd

Saturday:
Scotland 2 vs 1 Faroe Islands
Czech Republic 3 v 1 Wales
England 3 v 0 Andorra
Germany 2 v 1 Rep of Ireland
Northern Ireland 0 v 0 Iceland

Bonus1: 0 penalties

Bonus 2: Kris Boyd, Paul Hartley, Steven Fletcher

I like that the Celtic web team named this "petrov_angry.jpg" and used it in a "So long Stan" article.

http://www.celticfc.net/graphics/news/top_story/petrov/petrov_angry.jpg

Bonus 1: 2 penalties

Bonus 2: Kris Boyd, Steven Pressley, Gary O'Connor

Glasgow, 8.9.1976

Scorers: Rioch, Masson, Dalglish, A. Gray (2), E. Gray

September 12, 1984 Hampden Park, Glasgow (H) Yugoslavia 6-1

Davie Cooper, Graeme Souness, Kenny Dalglish, Paul Sturrock, Maurice Johnston, Charlie Nicholas

Scotland haven't been above average for Scotland since the 1920s!

Note that Average points per game is calculated by using 3 points for a win and 1 point for a draw
Decade 	Played 	Won 	Drawn 	Lost 	For 	Against 	Difference 	%Won 	%Drawn 	%Lost 	Average Points
per game
1870's 	12 	8 	2 	2 	41 	15 	+26 	67% 	17% 	17% 	2.2
1880's 	26 	22 	3 	1 	111 	35 	+78 	85% 	12% 	4% 	2.7
1890's 	30 	19 	5 	6 	100 	48 	+52 	63% 	17% 	20% 	2.1
1900's 	30 	15 	7 	8 	70 	32 	+38 	50% 	23% 	27% 	1.7
1910's 	15 	7 	6 	2 	20 	10 	+10 	47% 	40% 	13% 	1.8
1920's 	34 	24 	5 	5 	82 	33 	+49 	71% 	15% 	15% 	2.3
1930's 	41 	22 	7 	12 	78 	62 	+16 	54% 	17% 	29% 	1.8
1940's 	17 	8 	2 	7 	34 	23 	+11 	47% 	12% 	41% 	1.5
1950's 	67 	30 	16 	21 	123 	104 	+19 	45% 	24% 	31% 	1.6
1960's 	64 	28 	13 	23 	138 	115 	+23 	44% 	20% 	36% 	1.5
1970's 	89 	37 	20 	32 	89 	98 	-9 	42% 	22% 	36% 	1.5
1980's 	87 	35 	24 	28 	101 	83 	+18 	40% 	28% 	32% 	1.5
1990's 	92 	41 	22 	29 	112 	84 	+28 	45% 	24% 	32% 	1.6
2000's 	57 	17 	17 	23 	57 	77 	-20 	30% 	30% 	40% 	1.2
Overall 	661 	313 	149 	199 	1156 	817 	+339 	52% 	21% 	27% 	1.8

-- treefell (treefel...), August 30th, 2006 2:08 PM. (treefell) (later)

hehe

OK, OK, I just couldn't be arsed.

Teh Faroes were a bit rub. It took 80+ minutes for the Sky commentator bloke to wheel out the "curse of the Faroes" pun.

Kenny Miller & James McFadden were teh aces this afternoon. Really really good. I don't care if Miller never scores another goal ever if he does that much work and helps the others who do. Boyd could well be the new McCoist in terms of just popping up and scoring goals for fun, if supplied correctly. Glad to see O'Connor getting a run out, and proving that you can take the boy out of the Easter Road but he'll still have a shitty hair cut.

Pressley looked a bit suspect at times, and Quashie was fairly ineffective, but small quibbles and I'm not shitting myself at the prospect of playing Lithuania on Wednesday (Onimo/anyone else - fancy a pint since it's a straight-after-work kick-off?)

Nice to see Craig Beattie get an hour for the Scotland U21s last night.

"England won 5-0!" *crowd whoops and cheers*
"And Scotland won 6-0!" *crowd boos*

So, y'know, it's not just Scotland dishing it out.

See when I said "not shitting myself at the prospect of playing Lithuania"...

Interview with Mad Vlad in anticipation of Hearts v Hearts Lithuania v Scotland. Spot the blatant plug for his business interests in Kaunas!

Oh, OK, it's in this article: http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/hi/sport/6028339.html

So if Benfica get booted out, who gets their place? And how pissed off is everyone who paid once for their tickets to Portugal, found out they'd booked the wrong day, and paid extra to change their flights, going to be?

I key bit in that article is tacked on at the end, that they still haven't actually paid for their "record" signing (bear in mind that Hearts had to buy the player because a bid had been accepted from Hearts and the player reportedly refused to sign for Kaunus and be loaned to Hearts).

Varga = bad thing. We are horrendously short of defensive cover.

Varga should have been kept until at least January. We currently have only two fit centre back with Balde still unfit and Kennedy's long term future still to be determined.

:-)

European Championship Qualifying : Group B Table
P W D L F A GD PTS
1 Scotland 2 2 0 0 8 1 7 6
2 France 2 2 0 0 6 1 5 6
3 Georgia 3 1 0 2 8 6 2 3
4 Ukraine 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
5 Lithuania 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
6 Italy 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
7 Faroe Islands 2 0 0 2 0 12 -12 0

(this reversal of fortune may not last, but I thought I'd record it for posterity)

Never watch matches in Rhoderick Dhu, btw. Free pies do not make up for having to sit on a table with big fat-headed office twats standing in front of you blocking the screen and not watching the football. Also I've already won all the money out of the quiz machine (well, not all of it, but enough for a few beers)

Back to real football this week. don't forget to get your predictions in.

I'm going to attempt to work out the scores from the bonus round to see if I can get a free beer off one of those tight touchy bastards.

Scotland U21 1-3 France U21
Rep of Ireland U21 0-1 Belgium U21
Scotland 6-0 Faroe Islands
Czech Republic 2-1 Wales
England 5-0 Andorra
Germany 1-0 Rep of Ireland
Northern Ireland 0-3 Iceland
3 points for a correct result. 5 points for a correct score. 
Bonus 1: How many penalties will be scored in total. 5 points for correct answer, 3 points for +/-1.
3 pens: 1 for Scotland U21 vs France and 2 for Scotland vs Faroes, 
Bonus 2: Choose three Scotland senior or U21 players. You get 3 points for each goal scored by those three.
Scotland scorers: Adam (U21), Fletcher, McFadden, Boyd (2), Miller, O’Connor
------------
Aldo:
Scotland U21 2-1 France U21			0 points
Rep of Ireland U21 0-3 Belgium U21		3 
Scotland 1-0 Faroe Islands			3
Czech Republic 3-1 Wales			3
England 1-0 Andorra				3
Germany 0-0 Rep of Ireland			0
Northern Ireland 1-0 Iceland			0
1 penalty, England match.			0
Calum Elliot, Scott Brown, Kris Boyd		6
Total: 	18 points
------------
treefell
Scotland U21 2 v 2 France U21			0
Rep of Ireland U21 1 v 0 Belgium U21		0
Scotland 2 vs 1 Faroe Islands			3
Czech Republic 3 v 1 Wales			3
England 3 v 0 Andorra				3
Germany 2 v 1 Rep of Ireland			3
Northern Ireland 0 v 0 Iceland			0
0 penalties					0
Kris Boyd, Paul Hartley, Steven Fletcher 	9
Total:	21 points
------------
Onimo
Scotland U21 0-2 France U21			3
Rep of Ireland U21 1-1 Belgium U21		0
Scotland 6(SIX)-0 Faroe Islands			5 (w00t)
Czech Republic 3-0 Wales			3
England 4-0 Andorra				3
Germany 3-0 Rep of Ireland			3
Northern Ireland 0-1 Iceland			3
2 penalties					3
Kris Boyd, Steven Pressley, Gary O'Connor 	9
Total:	pwnage 32
Total Scores:
Onimo 32
Treefell 21
Aldo 18

Make mine a pint ay lager :-)

Never doubt the two time all time only ever and reigning champion! ;-)

(I did buy him a packet of peanuts)

Shock SPL result from the Saints of Mirren!

Dundee gub Gretna! Livie go top!

Morton finally concede a goal!

Levein works his magic on the Streets of Raith. Expect to se him in the Motherwell dugout by Christmas.

ahh x-post I some how forgot to post that after typing out and didn't notice!

How fucking wide is the pitch at New Douglas Park if you cannae even see the other side of it? No-one sitting over that side either? I call shenanigans! There *was* a wee bit of speculation on the BBC forums at least, but as I said upthread, I wasn't going into it as it didn't seem any of it was coming from people who had been at the game - I'd left the house by the time the confirmed reports were coming in.

Clyde v Hamilton games are always nasty affairs, well the ones I've been to recently anyway, basicaly since Hamilton started nicking all Clyde's best players (according to the grumpy and jealous Clyde fan by my side). I think by all accounts this was just a horrific accident, but I don't fancy the replay as being a barrel of laughs.

Total Scores:
Onimo 32
Treefell 18
Aldo 18

I gave treefell points for Darren Fletcher's goal coz I didn't realise he picked Steven Fletcher. So you are both joint last, or joint runners-up if you'd prefer.

scotstvo  	26
ilx_onimo 	26
treefell 	24
ailsa_xx 	21
aldo_cowpat 	19
MCibula 	16
cheasyweasel 	16
zeus88 		6

Good weekend for me, being a Kirkcaldy man, with the Rovers cuffing Stranraer 4-1. Would have screwed up my predictions if we'd been doing the 2nd division like.

I'll buy the winner a pint if he/she turns up for aldoFAP next week. If I win I'll expect someone to buy me one.

I don't see how this mystery someone couldn't be you.

xpost - don't go and see Hamilton, go and see the mighty Bully Wee. They win awards for their pies, you know, and you get to laugh at their manager being smaller than the ball boys.

Really, Broadwood steak'n'gravy pies are brilliant (haven't been yet this season, mind you, they might be rank rotten now).

I remember Tannadice pies being good.

I had a really tasty pie at Somerset Park once, though my tastes might have been influenced by being freezing and hungover to fuck and therefore in need of hot greasy fat. It was so windy when I tried to put pepper in my bovril it all went sideways and into the eyes of everyone else in the queue.

Steak pies at Celtic Park are no longer listed as 'Special Pie (Steak)' :(

Huzzah for teh Hibees. Pepe Le Pew's roadshow fails again. Keep it up for Saturday, lads?

Let's all get revenge on Onimo with a Mickey Mouse Cup special, eh?

Tuesday, 19 September 2006
Celtic v St Mirren, 19:45
Inverness CT v Falkirk, 19:45
Kilmarnock v Livingston, 19:45
St Johnstone v Dundee Utd, 19:45

Wednesday, 20 September 2006
Alloa v Hearts, 19:45
Dunfermline v Rangers, 19:45
Hibernian v Gretna, 19:45
Queens Park v Motherwell, 19:45

Correct result = 3 points
Correct result = 1 point

If you think it's going to penalties, predict a draw and specify which team will win the shootout. Three or one points for the draw (depending on whether you get the score right or not) and an extra point if you call the shootout correctly.

Bonus round: how many penalties awarded (not including shootouts). 5 points for spot (ha!) on, 3 points for one either way.

Doh! I meant "correct score = 3 points, correct result but wrong score = 1 point, like what they do on the real predictor". I'll let Onimo start doing these again :-)

For the 1st division it is.

Actually quick google shows Gretna to be £14, St Johnstone to be £16, Livingston to be £18. I think you're doing alright there, actually.

Alloa 0-3 Hearts
Dunfermline 0-1 Rangers
Hibernian 7 (SEVEN)-1 Gretna
Queens Park 0-0 Motherwell (Motherwell to win on pens aet)

Penalties awarded: 3

Penalties awarded: 2

4 penalties

I think if you've predicted someone to win in the 90/120 mins and they win on penalties, you'll get a point if you chose the right overall winner. That's what I did for the cup final. If that happens, like.
Penalties awarded: 3

Aldo has the lead at half-time, due to all results right and one score right. Onimo is LAST. That's, like, worse than me. So far.

Should I admit when we were 2-0 up and it was into the two minutes injury time that I was was willing St Mirren to get a consolation goal so I could get my three points? No? OK, I wasn't doing that at all.

Paul Telfer = still crap.

Aiden McGeady = selfish bastard, a fact which Richard Gordon rightly pointed out on the post-match waffly bit on Sportsound when everyone was praising him effusively. "Yes, but when was the last time he actually passed the ball effectively to a team-mate?" he asked, to a general "er, um, but, er, he's good at running" sort of response.

Evander Sno = da man. Linked up well with Pearson in the middle of the park. I'd have him in on Saturday in place of Lennon (and I'd have Pearson over McGeady any day until the latter learns that fanny-dangle is only good if you can do something with it. Richard Gordon compared him to Cristiano Ronaldo in that respect, which seems fair comment sometimes. I don't dislike McGeady, but tonight certainly he was taking far too much on himself when he had support all around him, and, crucially, not doing anything as a result). Anyway, Sno, God knows how Craig Beattie got the MotM. I thought Sno had it in the bag.

Darren O'Dea = he may be about 12, but he's a better left back than Ross Wallace. Actually, I'm a better left back than Ross Wallace, so somewhat damning with faint praise there.

Derek Riordan = what's the point of him again?

Telfer being shit is of course the unquestionable truth.

"With two bursting runs forward, McGeady did enjoy chances to set-up Riordan or Pearson and put the result beyond doubt, but both times the winger was slow in releasing the ball and squandered the opportunities." i.e. selfish bastard.

"WEBSITE MAN OF THE MATCH: Evander Sno"

Pearson supported Sno well, and he's not brushed off a ball easily. He wasn't great tonight, but he wasn't rubbish and by and large I like him. I blow hot and cold on McGeady.

xpost, oh bugger. Hang on...

-- ailsa (ailsa.watso...), September 19th, 2006 11:43 PM. (ailsa) (later)

You didn't specify, that was one of your failings. It'll take more than a badly specified Mickey Mouse Cup Roundorganised by a GIRL to teach me some humility.
:-)

You can resume gloating when Hibs stick 7 (SEVEN) past a hapless Gretna defence, OK?

scotstvo  	37
treefell 	29
ilx_onimo 	28
ailsa_xx 	24
aldo_cowpat 	22
cheasyweasel 	22
MCibula 	22
zeus88 	         8

He's got all the skill in the world but frequently lacks the end product. He polarises opinions because people like to watch skillful players and sometimes fail to realise that it's pointless having a guy who can beat anyone but never gives the ball to anyone who can score. He's capable of beating his marker(s) 50 times a game and still "doing nothing" - but we like our enigmas.

This season he's been a stand out and has had a hand in lots of our goals, he's been much more productive than Naka, who seems to be sleepwalking through half of his games. I'm warming to the idea of Aiden on the right and Shaun on the left with Naka getting a kick up the arse. This won't happen because Gogs bought Naka and inherited the other two.

(don't wind me up when I'm coming to visit you and bring you food. I could wreak all sorts of nasty vengeance)

xpost. Odds on the old "marathon not a sprint" cliche being dragged out, anyone?

xxpost BUGGER!

Apologies if Ailsa or someone has mentioned this before elsewhere. I can't be arsed scrolling through this thread.

I should've done the "total number of goals overall thingie" as I seem to only be one off the total there due to an uncanny knack of guessing the correct number of goals in every game (except Celtic's) even if I got the distribution of them a bit wrong.

Scores in a minute or two.

Celtic 2 - 0 St Mirren
ICT 0 - 1 Falkirk
Kilmarnock 2 - 1 Livingston (aet)
St Johnstone 3 - 0 Dundee Utd
Alloa 0 - 4 Hearts
Dunfermline 0 - 2 Rangers
Hibs 6 - 0 Gretna
Queens Park 0 - 3 Motherwell

There were two penalties awarded: one for Livi and one for Motherwell.

Onimo:
Celtic 3-1 St Mirren (1 point)
Inverness CT 2-0 Falkirk (nil points)
Kilmarnock 1-1 Livingston (Killie to win on pens aet) (one point!)
St Johnstone 2-0 Dundee Utd (1 point)
Alloa 0-3 Hearts (1 point - SO CLOSE!)
Dunfermline 0-1 Rangers (1 point)
Hibernian 7 (SEVEN)-1 Gretna (1 point - close but no cigar)
Queens Park 0-0 Motherwell (Motherwell to win on pens aet) (1 point)
Penalties awarded: 3 (3 points)

TOTAL: 10 points

aldo
Celtic 1-0 St Mirren (in extra time) (1 point)
Inverness CT 0-1 Falkirk (3 points)
Kilmarnock 3-1 Livingston (1 point)
St Johnstone 0-0 Dundee Utd (St Johnstone win on pens) (1 point)
Alloa 0-5 Hearts (1 point)
Dunfermline 0-3 Rangers (1 point)
Hibernian 2-1 Gretna (1 point, oh ye of little faith)
Queens Park 1-0 Motherwell (0 points)
Penalties awarded: 2 (5 points)

TOTAL: 14 points

ailsa:
Celtic 2-1 St Mirren (1 point)
Inverness CT 1-0 Falkirk (0 points)
Kilmarnock 2-1 Livingston (3 points)
St Johnstone 2-1 Dundee Utd (1 point)
Alloa 0-4 Hearts (3 points)
Dunfermline 1-1 Rangers (Dunfermline on penalties) (0 points)
Hibernian 5-1 Gretna (1 point)
Queens Park 1-2 Motherwell (1 point)
4 penalties (no point)

TOTAL: 10

FINAL TOTALS

aldo: 14
ailsa: 10
Onimo: 10

Yeah go on someones gonna say it's not funny.
I should bring Angus Fraser out of retirement and phone up the daily record hotline.

THE NAME GAME News reaches us that new Rangers signing Filip Sebo is worried that nobody can pronounce his surname correctly. We think he should be more concerned with his Gallagher brother eyebrows, or the fact he bears an uncanny resemblance to a bald Desperate Dan.

Will fans start singing "who ate all the cowpies?"

Well, I laughed.

Really, can we have some sort of script-writing commission for teh Beeb?

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42117000/jpg/_42117640_lennonfergusonsplit203.jpg

http://library.sdsmt.edu/friendsvideos/Platoon%20f.jpg

Dear Neil Lennon, I am sorry for doubting you and suggesting you should be punted out of Parkhead, freeing up a space for a decent midfielder. You are brilliant and I love you and I take back everything bad I ever said about you. PS please teach Thomas Gravesen a thing or two about not giving the ball away at the edge of the box?

All together now "he used to be a Hun, but he's all right now, Kenny, Kenny"....

Champions League on Tuesday, watch as it all goes wrong :-/

Hibs, eh, wtf?

Shit, I forgot it.

Wee "bourkey":

[URL=http://img75.imageshack.us/my.php?image=lazersut4qr6.jpg][IMG]http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/8346/lazersut4qr6.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/8346/lazersut4qr6.th.jpg

Better?

Rah for Scotstvo! Are you ever going to come to the pub ever again?

(I drove past your house this afternoon, if you still live where you used to live)

(technicality roffles surely will ensue as half the weekend's fixtures will be in October)

:o

sorry about you not being teh best in teh world this month :-/

I scored a whopping great 0 (zero) today! Pish!

It won a prize.

Saturday:
Cyprus v Rep of Ireland, 17:30
Denmark v Northern Ireland, 19:00
England v FYR Macedonia, 17:00
Scotland v France, 17:00
Wales v Slovakia, 15:00

Wednesday
Croatia v England, 18:00
Northern Ireland v Latvia, 20:00
Rep of Ireland v Czech Republic, 19:30
Ukraine v Scotland, 18:00
Wales v Cyprus, 20:00

3 points for the correct result, 5 points for the correct score (because Sportsound and Ailsa are WRONG).

Bonus 1: How many penalties will be scored in total? 7 points for correct answer. 5 points for +/-1. 3 points for +/-2.

Bonus 2: How many cautions will Scotland players receive in total. A straight red will count as two cautions. Same points as bonus 1.

Wednesday
Croatia 1-1 England
Northern Ireland 1-1 Latvia
Rep of Ireland 1-1 Czech Republic
Ukraine 1-1 Scotland
Wales 2-0 Cyprus

Bonus 1: 3 penalties

Bonus 2: 9 cautions

Cyprus 0 - 3 Rep of Ireland
Denmark 3 - 1 Northern Ireland
England 1- 0 FYR Macedonia
Scotland 1-1 France
Wales 1 - 2 Slovakia
Croatia 1 - 0 England
Northern Ireland 1 - 2 Latvia
Rep of Ireland 1 - 3 Czech Republic
Ukraine 1 - 1 Scotland
Wales 2 - 0 Cyprus

Bonus 1: 3 penalties
Bonus 2: 9 yellow cards

Bonus 1: 2 penalties
Bonus 2: 5 yellow cards

but I take your point. I think we'll lose and I'm hoping Shevchenko stays ill long enough to miss the Wednesday game. A point out of the next six would be a result.

Wednesday
Croatia 1 - 0 England
Northern Ireland 1 - 2 Latvia
Rep of Ireland 0 - 2 Czech Republic
Ukraine 1 - 0 Scotland
Wales 4 -0 Cyprus

Bonus 1: 2

Bonus 2: 8

http://www.sportinglife.com/football/news/story_get.cgi?STORY_NAME=soccer/06/10/06/manual_104423.html

Awesome.

Amazing. Anyone else going tomorrow?

Vlad is my hero.

(re that Scotland v Wales game I'd wiped from memory until now, is Robbie Earnshaw even still an automatic choice up front for them?)

Wednesday
Croatia 1 - 1 England
Northern Ireland 2 - 2 Latvia
Rep of Ireland 1 - 2 Czech Republic
Ukraine 0 - 0 Scotland
Wales 2 - 0 Cyprus

Bonus 1: 4

Bonus 2: 9

Can some betting dude tell me what odds anyone would have got on a Cyprus-Scotland double? What's all this fuck-teh-minnows shite about again?

THERE'S ONLY ONE GARY CALDWELL!!!!

*collapses into glass of Drambuie*

(Ukraine-FAP on Wednesday?)

My mate has won a stack of money on a coupon buster accumulator. He didn't say whether Scotland were part of it, but I know Cyprus were.

12 WEEKS AGO, FRANCE WERE IN THE WORLD CUP FINAL.

European Championship Qualifying : Group B Table

1 Scotland 3 3 0 0 9 1 8 9
2 France 3 2 0 1 6 2 4 6
3 Italy 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
4 Lithuania 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
5 Georgia 3 1 0 2 8 6 2 3
6 Ukraine 2 1 0 1 3 4 -1 3
7 Faroe Islands 3 0 0 3 0 13 -13 0

Me too. But in the case of Scotland's win, I don't mind.

(oh my poor head)

http://www.tennents.com/img/800.jpg

My liver may not cope with another victory. Helpfully, it's a not-long-after-work kick-off to allow early drinking and early to bed.

And Miller's starting up front, obv.

Apart from that, should be same as Saturday.

Still, I'd have taken two points out of these two games, and we've got three. Onwards and upwards, eh?

I'm not happy about the refereeing, as I said above, but Scotland are coherent enough to raise above that if they play together, which they just weren't doing. They sat back too much, and couldn't get it together when they ventured forward.

http://www.soc.staffs.ac.uk/am10/graphics/alanrough1.jpg

Look, it's Andriy Shevchenko:

http://library.sdsmt.edu/friendsvideos/Platoon%20f.jpg

http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l152/garymcc/Shevvy.jpg

Scotstvo, do you get cheaper travel or anything in the Scotland Travel Club, or is purely for ease of getting tickets?

Correct results as follows:

Saturday:
Cyprus 5 (FIVE)-1 Rep of Ireland
Denmark 0-0 Northern Ireland
England 0-0 FYR Macedonia
Scotland 1-0 France (hurrah!)
Wales 1-5 (FIVE) Slovakia

Wednesday:
Croatia 2-0 England (rofflez!)
Northern Ireland 1-0 Latvia
Rep of Ireland 1-1 Czech Republic
Ukraine 2-0 Scotland (boo!)
Wales 3-1 Cyprus

Bonus 1: 2 penalties (Konstaninou for Cyprus against Republic of Ireland, Shevchenko for diving Ukraine against Scotland)

Bonus 2: 8 cautions (McFadden, McCulloch and Dailly v France, McFadden, Fletcher, Neilson and 2 x for Steven Pressley's birthday red card v Ukraine)

So, the scores on the doors are:

Onimo
Cyprus 0-2 Rep of Ireland (0)
Denmark 1-0 Northern Ireland (0)
England 3-1 FYR Macedonia (0)
Scotland 1-3 France (0)
Wales 1-0 Slovakia (0)
Croatia 1-1 England (0)
Northern Ireland 1-1 Latvia (0)
Rep of Ireland 1-1 Czech Republic (5)
Ukraine 1-1 Scotland (0)
Wales 2-0 Cyprus (3)
Bonus 1: 3 penalties (5)
Bonus 2: 9 cautions (5)
Total =18 points

ailsa
Cyprus 0 - 3 Rep of Ireland (0)
Denmark 3 - 1 Northern Ireland (0)
England 1- 0 FYR Macedonia (0)
Scotland 1-1 France (0)
Wales 1 - 2 Slovakia (0)
Croatia 1 - 0 England (3)
Northern Ireland 1 - 2 Latvia (0)
Rep of Ireland 1 - 3 Czech Republic (0)
Ukraine 1 - 1 Scotland (0)
Wales 2 - 0 Cyprus (3)

Bonus 1: 3 penalties (5)
Bonus 2: 9 yellow cards (5)

Total = 16

aldo_cowpat
Cyprus 0 - 4 Rep of Ireland (0)
Denmark 2 - 1 Northern Ireland (0)
England 1- 0 FYR Macedonia (0)
Scotland 2-1 France (3)
Wales 0 - 3 Slovakia (3)
Croatia 2 - 0 England (5)
Northern Ireland 0 - 3 Latvia (0)
Rep of Ireland 1 - 0 Czech Republic (0)
Ukraine 0 - 1 Scotland (0)
Wales 1 - 0 Cyprus (3)
Bonus 1: 2 penalties (7)
Bonus 2: 5 yellow cards (0)
Total = 21

treefell
Cyprus 0 - 2 Rep of Ireland (0)
Denmark 1 - 0 Northern Ireland (0)
England 2 - 0 FYR Macedonia (0)
Scotland 1 - 1 France (0)
Wales 4 - 2 Slovakia (0)
Croatia 1 - 0 England (3)
Northern Ireland 1 - 2 Latvia (0)
Rep of Ireland 0 - 2 Czech Republic (0)
Ukraine 1 - 0 Scotland (3)
Wales 4 -0 Cyprus (3)
Bonus 1: 2 (7)
Bonus 2: 8 (7)
Total = 23

zeus
Cyprus 0 - 1 Rep of Ireland (0)
Denmark 3 - 0 Northern Ireland (0)
England 2 - 1 FYR Macedonia (0)
Scotland 1 - 1 France (0)
Wales 0 - 0 Slovakia (0)
Croatia 1 - 1 England (0)
Northern Ireland 2 - 2 Latvia (0)
Rep of Ireland 1 - 2 Czech Republic (0)
Ukraine 0 - 0 Scotland (0)
Wales 2 - 0 Cyprus (3)
Bonus 1: 4 (3)
Bonus 2: 9 (5)
Total = 11 points

Final standings:

treefell: 23
aldo: 21
Onimo: 18
ailsa: 16
zeus: 11

Obv that should say 5-2, not that it makes a blind bit of difference.

Meanwhile, Fat Gaz and Deek to West Brom in the winter transfer window, surely?

Remember your predictions for tomorrow folks.

Peter Martin doing his usual nutjob commentary on the Celtic vs Benfica match: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbFzu2VA7lA (not as good as the Boavista one but worth a listen)

lol

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/h/heart_of_midlothian/6091336.stm

Hands up anyone who actually really thinks that Valdas Ivanauskas is ill?

Teh Buddies put on a nice entertaining show last week, which I watched in a pub in Paisley run by a St Mirren fan and popular with Celtic fans. That was good (apart from the score). Was that the softest penalty ever awarded against Rangers, at least since the Livorno game.

Magic Z's comedy own goal, eh? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IibKv8737VI Rounds the keeper, misfires a shot which is presumably heading out for a throw-in on the other side, crowd groans, ooh, hello Stephen Craigan, cheers! Worse MotM performance, since, erm, Nakamura's "he was shite apart from his hat-trick" performance the week before.

If anyone out there knows of a worse referee than Alan Freeland, btw, you have my sympathy.

I don't see the point of Pressley's statement.

Handy bump, I'd forgotten my predictions for this week.

Hearts' majority shareholder has warned his players that they are all for sale if they do not win this weekend.

...

Vladimir Romanov says he will move the players on to "Kilmarnock or whatever club will take them" unless they defeat Dunfermline Athletic on Saturday.

And he has warned that he would then play a team of youngsters against Celtic the following weekend.

Rangers drop another two points at Ibrox (but three points for me on the Predictor, cheers) - league over? Polly out of a job?

I got three on the Buddies, but was overly confident that the Gers wouldn't fuck up and that Mad Vlad would have put TEH PH3AR into the Jambos. Bah.

Do you think Craig Levein took any pleasure in today?

In other news, Celtic now 10 points clear at the top of the league thanks to Kenny Miller discovering that he can score away from homoe too! TEN POINTS!

And in other non-news, Cetic aren't signing David Beckham. Shame, Derek Riordan could do with someone to sit next to him on the bench and compare shitty haircuts.

Also, memo to Stephen Pearson - your ginger beard looks really stupid. Have a shave. Perhaps he was part of the (presumed) bet that saw Gary Caldwell and Neil Lennon get scalped.

On being asked what his team would be if he sold all his players he replied "I'll play!" This man's brilliant.

ailsa, yr Becks 'n' Deek theory falls down because it assumes Deek will get as far as the bench.

Nice Freudian slip about Kenny Miller.

Yeah, if Jiri Jarosik can get on in front of Deek then he really should just give up and go away already.

Though somehow this doesn't seem to worry Dunfermline.

John Collins to be teh new Hibees boss, adding to the ever-expanding list of ex-Celtic players in managerial positions.

What do we think of Caldo's tackle on Fernandez? Malicious or mistimed? I think the latter but he had ripped Caldwell apart a couple of times beforehand so you never know. I think that Caldwell stayed on his feet indicates he was trying to win the ball cleanly.

Frazer Wright's challenge 2 minutes beforehand look just as dangerous if not moreso, but obviously isn't getting much attention as he didn't manage to cripple anyone.

New chant is apparently "Paul Le Guen's gonna get the sack, we've won the league before the clocks went back".

Also HELLO and welcome back to the SPL to John Collins, who I used to really like back in the day before he fucked off to Monaco and relieved Teh Bunnet of some cash and gave us all some entertainment by watching UEFA claiming that Monaco wasn't in Monaco but was actually in France, honest guv, whilst Teh Bunnet got all upset about it. Those were the days...

Lovely quote from Rod Petrie "John has spent three years preparing for today. He has all the technical qualifications, including a Uefa Pro Licence, which means he could be considered for any job in Europe" [except no-one else wanted him, he failed to continue]

Also really not sure how I feel about John Collins, tbh. I think he could be a Kaiser-in-waiting.

xpost

Al, I didn't want to mention Franck Sauzee, but, since you have, that was exactly what I thought first I heard they were after him.

(Gary Caldwell LEFT HIBS on purpose. You are just jealous)

The best quote associated with it has come from Fat Boab. "If you're out of a job, you would be interested in the Dunfermline job," he told BBC Sport.

I think he missed an "even" out of that sentence.

Haw Levein, see if we dinnae hump Rangers on Saturday? You're gettin' yer jotters, son.

(xpost, erk, not there)

I, erm, know where Kirkcaldy is! Gordon Brown! Marvin Andrews! Bayern Munich!

I feel sure I could get one win before running away too.

(I think they should appoint Marvin Andrews for a laugh)

Woeful game, woeful refereeing - Craig Thomson giving Alan Freeland a run for his money - but, y'know, Scotland's top international best goalie ever* pushing the ball into his own net about fifteen minutes into the injury time that Hearts' crappy timewasting had caused = brilliant.

We'll just ignore the fact that Hearts should have been 2-0 by half-time apart from some rotten finishing in front of goal.

I've completely about-turned on Telfer now. He's pretty much all right. Anyone still using Telfer as a by-word for pish isn't really watching him.

* I do like Craig Gordon, but goalies cocking up against your own team is always really really funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLyV5k2W_Co

Oh well :-D

Do not underestimate the power of a new manager. Do not overestimate the abilities of footballing genius Le Guen. Amusingly, Jim Traynor is on Radio Scotland still claiming that Le Guen is too intelligent for the SPL.

The first thing I did this morning was look for the Craig Gordon thing on YouTube, what a fanny.

Or was pre-empting that display tonight.

I think perhaps he'd entered into some "I'm more pish than you at passing" competition with Gravesen (it was a close-run thing). Woeful.

Also, you have two fit strikers on the pitch. Why are they the fifth and sixth choice penalty takers, allowing an unfit striker, a full-back, and a centre-half whose confidence has been shot to fuck over the last few games ahead of them in the pecking order? Shouldn't Miller and Zurawski be the kind of guys to put their necks on the line in that situation?

Who is this commentator twunt? Match-ike Zurawski?

I won't hold my breath for the Daily Record to do the same.

(it took Celtic losing three pre-season friendlies to get our last batch of cracked crests)

Byeeee!!

Yesterday's Daily Record had a "Rangers in crisis" back page. It's a start.

Ladbrokes have a section of "Paul Le Guen specials" on their website, including "PLG to be Rangers' shortest-serving manager", "PLG to leave Rangers without winning a major trophy". Ha!

Also, watch yer back, Scotstvo, Onimo is coming to get you :-)

Commiserations to Clyde and all their supporter. The extra-time commentary on Radio Scotland made it sound like an excellent game, but removing both your strikers with ten minutes to go while sitting on a one goal lead was probably, in hindsight, not the best idea Joe Miller's ever had. Still, you know, my Dad used to play for Ross County, so I guess I win either way (though the Clyde supporter in the other room may beg to differ).

* who am I trying to kid.

and oh yeah we beat Airdrie yesterday. Always enjoyable.

Nonsense! I'm teh (two hundred and sixty-fourth) best in teh world, don't you know!

Had a couple of bilers in recent weeks all the same, a welcome return to form this week. If only the occasional coupon would come up as well.

Well done Accies by the way, and my commiserations to Mr Ailsa.

Fellow "rebel" Craig Gordon seems to have escaped Mad Vlad's wrath.

(runs off to change prediction)

(although I had Hearts for teh lose anyway)

Congratulations to Onimo on sneaking past Scotstvo there. The king is dead, long live the king. Or something.

:-)

Hearts won 25 fouls to 10, without Elvis!

Great performance from Latapy again last night. Yay for footballers older than me!

Big Eck linked with the Charlton job, according to the Herald.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/p/partick_thistle/6149978.stm

No surprises here. Celtic fans claim they're the victims. Rangers fans claim it's not as bad as everyone makes out. Everyone else blames the Old Firm.

I note that the writer keeps alternating which of the Old Firm is mentioned first so as not to appear biased :-)

From earlier this year:
J1m Templet0n, of the Rangers Supporters Assembly, said the Billy Boys song and the lyric "we're up to our knees in fenian blood" caused particular offence.

He admitted singing the song himself at Rangers games, but said he did not feel any remorse afterwards.

"I know if that comes out in the wrong context it won't sound too good but like many other Rangers supporters you sing that song without actually meaning the words you're singing," Mr Templeton said.

Spent a horrible afternoon in bed listening to Derek Johnstone because I was too lazy to retune the radio to Sportsound.

Scott Brown's and Kevin Thompson's agent Willie McKay was on, telling everyone that the 3 and 4 year contracts that they'd signed in good faith were apparently "sentences" and that the >£5k a week each they were being paid was "a pittance" - I wish I could earn that kind of pittance. He said they had a verbal agreement with Mowbray that they'd get more money this season. Anyone recalling Pierre and his "good enough for homeless people" comments?

Livingston Chairman Pearse Flynn's apparently asked his struggling squad to vote for the 4 worst players at the club. He then warned the chosen ones they face the sack.

To think they call Vlad mad...

Rangers have signed Andy Webster. Rangers are putting a package together for Paul Hartley. Rangers are closer to getting the Thompson and Brown double act. Rangers do not have a manager. So who's signing them? The club? The chairman? Because I've been reading all the criticism of Hearts and Mad Vlad and I'm wondering why it's OK for Sir David Murray to do this but not OK for Vlad?

(Off The Ball yesterday was getting right lamped into him - well worth a go on the listen again facility)

Congratulations to Morton and all their supporters! Shock result of the day! (I don't think "Elgin being shite" is much of a shock)

I was getting lots of calls and texts from Morton fans last night, revelling on being The Featured Game on Sportscene for the first time in years. Looked like a well deserved win from the highlights. Templeman in not a huge useless lump of wood shockah! He took his 2nd goal brilliantly.

Ailsa, Remember me telling you yesterday how good Paul McGowan was doing at Morton and you questioned whether he could do it against SPL opposition?

I'll be intrigued to see how big the package is from either of the Old Firm teams for Thompson & Brown given what we turned down from Charlton. (I'm betting the price is "undisclosed" though.)

Why are Celtic negotiating to buy about 4 new strikers when the ones they've got seem to be coming back to fitness/form?

Ooh, hark at you and your revisionism. I believe I was querying whether he was good enough to get a game for Celtic's first team.

We forgot to have a laugh at Big Jum getting sent to the stand on Tuesday for, get this, LAUGHING. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/k/kilmarnock/6226339.stm

From now on I'm sitting in silence :-(

(also, Jim Hamilton has just put crappy old Dunfermline 1-0 up against Rangers. 467 minutes without scoring a goal, but Rangers kindly sieve has decided to put that to rights. I've just googled and found out that I am more than three years older than Jim Hamilton. That surely can't be right)

xpost, I'm considering doing the same!

£2.5M is a fucking joke for someone who's had half a good season and who was behind Jérémie Aliadière (not to mention the 14 million other strikers Arsenal have loaned out) in the Arsenal squad!

Good luck to him if it's true that he's been offered 3 times what Celtic would pay him - you can't blame anyone for chasing that kind of money no matter who they say they support. Strange all the same that we can attract someone of Nakamura's class but can't get an Arseanl reject who was playing for Falkirk.

There are no fixtures scheduled to kick off in the next 7 days.

I'm going on holiday on Thursday, please sort yourselves before them so as I can put my scores in, cheers? Because no way will I be in an internet cafe at all in Spain, erm, um...

Cheers

ailsa_xx

who was behind Jérémie Aliadière (not to mention the 14 million other strikers Arsenal have loaned out) in the Arsenal squad

I like how your damning use of Jeremie Aliadiere (no fancy accents for me) as a marker of Stokes' level prompted him to go right out and be quite good (like what it did for Derek Riordan when I used him as a comparison for Stokes a month or so ago).

The Ibrox club are believed to have offered £100,000 to the Bairns for the in-form, versatile 24-year-old who is also wanted by Wolverhampton Wanderers.

You're supposed to bid more than other clubs, ya fanny. I love how sarcastic that paragraph is.

Hibs unlucky at the end last night, though Aberdeen probably didn't deserve to be behind at the interval.

This is a shocker: Att: 7,905

WTF? Teh Sheep are having their best season in years yet fans are staying away in droves. Sheep fan in my work says it's all down to the team playing unattractive football, but that doesn't explain how their attendances were higher in recent years when the football was still pish and the results were worse.

Realistic in the sense of cheap and unemployed, I mean.

Alex McLeish Gary McAllister Tommy Burns Craig Levein Jim Jefferies Bruce Rioch Kenny Dalglish Richard Gough Jimmy Calderwood A Knox Joe Jordan Billy Davies George Burley Craig Brown Paul Sturrock Gordon Strachan George Graham Graeme Souness David Moyes Ally McCoist Colin Calderwood

Most of the good ones (e.g. Davies, Moyes, Strachan, Burley) are in jobs they are unlikely to leave. Some of the ones who'd jump at it (I'm guessing Jeffries, Rioch, Gough, Brown) shouldn't get near it.

I think Tommy Burns could do a good job but it would probably mean giving up a relatively cushy number at Celtic and maybe isn't a good time for him given that he's just been fighting cancer.

Jimmy Calderwood sticking 5 up front because we're a goal down to Italy or France might be a laugh.

Lee McCulloch is the latest Scotland player to be linked with his old boss. Smith must figure that if Scotland were good enough to beat France then they must be good enough to win the SPL. Hope he comes in for Pressley and Miller in the summer :)

ailsa_xx 105
scotstvo 104
ilx_onimo 99
aldo_cowpat 96
treefell 94
cheasyweasel 86
MCibula 82
zeus88 49

(me at top of league will not last past tomorrow afternoon, I fear, but I shall have my moment of glory while I can)

Onimo: I've got 4-1 on my predictor, I think
Me: I've got 3-1

(some time passes, score reaches 3-1)

Me: That'll do
Onimo: Nah, there's ages yet. 4-1, you'll see.

(some more time passes. JVoH scores)

Onimo: Hahahahaha (flicks Vs at me)
Me: Fuck off

(some more time passes. Kenny Misser makes an appearance)

Me: I hope Kenny comes on and scores because he's due a goal and it'll fuck your predictor and it'll be doubly funny
Onimo: (some sort of chortling sound)

(some more time passes. Miller scores the crappiest goal I have ever seen in my life)

Me: flicks Vs at Onimo
Onimo grumbles a bit. Threatens to not give me a lift home.

It's a cut-throat world at the sharp end of the prediction league, I'll tell you.

Also, David Weir is the worst defender ever in the history of everness.

If only Rangers sign Ugo Ehiogu, then it could be a grebt competition of averages. T/S David Weir + Ugo Ehiogu vs Jim Hamilton + Stevie Crawford

*waits for Onimo and aldo to give it all this "fuck off ya youngster" shite*

Jambos veteran Neil McCann was a year below me in school. Stevie Fulton was only a year above me and he's been retired two years :(

Ehiogu is 34 :)

Sir Mad Murray going back on his word shockah!

Ehiogu has played 6 games for Leeds on loan this season - they won none of them and kept one clean sheet.

It'll be interesting to see how a 70 year old defensive partnership copes against the Hibs whippets.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42489000/jpg/_42489447_mcleish_pa270.jpg

I still haven't played a joker yet either.

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/4480/hartleywc3.jpg

Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink saves us at the death (before getting himself sent off). Inverness Caley Thistle are the masters of raising their game against the "big" teams, aren't they? They do rather well for a team so pish (i.e. one including Ross Tokeley).

Pressley displayed some sort of weirdo proficiency as a winger to set up Deek's goal before going off hurt, presumably from nosebleeds and shock from being so far forward. Nice to see Kenny give us a whole 14 minutes before getting himself knacked. He's knacked, Beattie's knacked, JVoH's suspended, Magic's disappeared (injured? suspended? crap? who knows?). Deek to teh rescue!

(actually, it's the cup next week so presumably JVoH not suspended for that)

Meanwhile, Mad Vlad's back on form after a long silence:
http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/sport.cfm?id=146802007

Q: Did you get to the bottom of the conflict between senior Hearts players and Eduard Malofeev?

VR: There was no conflict whatsoever, there was a banal betrayal. Players sold themselves for the striped shirts they were promised; they decided that these were so valuable that they could allow themselves to behave the way they did.
Q: Is that a reference to Celtic shirts?

VR: I don't know. To prison uniforms.

And, asked if the transfer of Gordon could still happen by Wednesday, Invauskas told BBC Sport: "I hope."

We've signed a pre-contract deal with a striker from York City. I can't help think non-league is not where we should be looking for players.

"To be manager of your home nation is a very proud day indeed for Alex McLeish, my family and friends," he said.

3rd person syndrome!

But they are powerless to stop the frontman leaving the KitKat Crescent at the end of his contract this summer.

TWEE AS FUCK

McLeish won't walk away if a big club comes calling. Well that's a relief :/

Also, what happened to Collins' "No one leaves in January" assurances? Board fucking him already?

Erm... yes. Collins learning what it means to be a manager.

York have turned down an admittedly paltry sum of money for a player who is out of contract in the summer and will go free then instead.

Oh, Kevin T being held up by Yogi now as why Rangers can afford to pay more for Alan Gow.

Mad Martin's sold his CFCplc shares to DD btw, just in case anyone thought for a second he might have some loyalty to Celtic.

This stuff is gold. JoshdaJambo has seen Arsenal representative "looking happy" as they leave Tynecastle. Have they tied up a deal for Hearts keeper Craig Gordon or have they been knocking back some of Vladimir Romanov's vodka?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/h/heart_of_midlothian/6312529.stm

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity . . .

How did Dickens know so much about the January transfer window?

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42515000/jpg/_42515747_kevinthomson203.jpg

london radio reporting charlton have bid 2.5m for gravesen.

1404: Rangers are reportedly set to sign Hearts midfielder Paul Hartley in a £1m deal.

Was meant to say Celtic, given that "Hartley to Celtic" is still the main story in the SPL section.

We don't need any more players to win the league. We could win it with the reserves playing the rest of the season. I don't think we should be buying anyone who won't help us get past AC Milan (including Hartley and Pressley, who are both cup tied for the CL).

TIPPICAL CIVIL SERVANT SPONGER INCOMPETANCE WE SHOULD SACK THEM ALL I NOW I WOUDL.

Sorry about that, been reading too much of the BBC Have Your Say forum.

luv one of teh fanz xx

I refer the honourable gentleman to question 7.

(note I also had posters of Charlie Nicholas on my wall, but you wouldn't want to see me in the Hoops even though I'm a better centre-half than Steven Pressley)

xpost

http://www.celticfc.net/newsroom/news.aspx?id='2007-01-31_1700pc'

Dear Celtic, get one less crappy signing policy, luv, teh fanz xx

I've nothing against signing Hartley apart from him being CL cup-tied. He was a better player last year but maybe his game will pick up again now that he's away from the Vladster. I'd have rather we bought someone who can play in the CL but given that he's only just turned 30 I think we should get a few good years out of him.

Lennon's probably offski in the summer, Gravesen's still in indifferent form, Jarosik is indifferent period, Sno's got some learning to do and there's still a Petrov shaped hole in the midfield. I think we can use an experienced SPL player who can run and shoot and pass and even occasionally tackle.

I'd have been delighted to sign him last time we went in for him and I was critical of the board for being tight arses so I suppose I must put myself in the Placated Fan box over this one.

We've still got a couple of hours to get Scott Brown. Hopefully this cup game won't go to penalties :)

(I am aware I am operating entirely with the benefit of hindsight here, and have very little in the way of legs to stand on)

Gravesen may still turn out to be brilliant. His striking and passing if he's on top of his game are excellent, it's the "if" that's the problem.

Hibs would probably take pens right now. They're shite.

In other news, Northampton Town have signed Kenny Deuchar.

Hibs have that shite referee that I think mr ailsa knows. He's as shite as Hibs, who are 2-1 up with a shite goal.

Congratulations to Hibernian and all their supporter (this last couple of minutes has been quite entertaining, to be fair)

Also, 6 goals in 14 starts for Celtic as good as any return we ever got from Petrov.

I'm the first to admit he's had his share of shite games but I still think he could be class if he could learn things like "you can't dwell on the ball in Scotland" and "stop giving it to Man Utd players".

Blaming him for the Man U defeat is a little bit unfair. He gave the ball away and cost us goals. Everyone else, and I mean EVERYONE, gave the ball away and could have cost us goals. Man U had 119432 shots that night, Gravesen didn't set them all up.

(Nice wee finish from Benji at the end there, with chasing defender trying to decapitate him as he tapped it in)

email me yer address and I'll post it down to you.

The last one about the Scotland's Euro 96 campaign was upped on ukn0v4, so I daresay this one will be too.

I may be in Scotland in Feb yet, dates unknown but potentially including a weekend, to save postage.

Don't you have fancy cable/satellite telly that lets you watch stuff on other regions? I may still be in luddite videoland, but at least I can watch other BBCs as well as BBC Scotland.

x-post Not really.

Not that bothered about Maloney. We had a great season out of him, not sure we were going to have another one like it (see also Miller, Liam*). Injury-prone, and definitely replaceable.

* again with the hindsight, I know...

The more things change...

So long then Shaun, thanks for the memories, including this belter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZECrmmK568

Anyway, Scott Brown would "rather see out his contract than help Hibs win the CIS Cup" apparently. I wonder whow much of that will turn out to be true?

(that Maloney goal was a corker, wasn't it?)

Non-shockeroonie as St Johnstone gub Falkirk.

Now we just get to sit back and wonder if Celtic get a bye in the Champs League due to a bit of the old Italian ultra-violence. Also, Scotland's Euro 2008 qualifying hopes could well be boosted by not having to play Italy, if it comes to that.

Nae luck wee Morton. 9 foot 4 Templeman's lack of heading ability costing them again.

In other news, HANDS OFF HEARTS (because Mad Vlad makes us robble).

the president of Italy's Professional Football League Clubs association said matches should be allowed to start again.

"Deaths unfortunately form part of this huge movement which is football and which the forces of order are not always able to control," Antonio Matarrese told the La Repubblica newspaper on Monday.

"Football should never be stopped. It's the number one rule: football is the industry... do you think there's an industry that would close its factories and not know when they're going to reopen?"

"We are touched, but the show must go on," Mr Matarrese was quoted as saying.

We have borrowed a Nigerian to cover the Chris Killen-sized gap for the rest of the season, and it sounds like Yogi is sufficiently pissed off with Wee Tam that he wants to come back with his tail between his legs.

Also, consider this gem from Garry O'Connor:

"It may not sound modest, but at the end of the day I am one of the best Scottish strikers and I have the right to play for the national team."

Sounds like he's punting his wife, the plans he's supposedly working out with Lokomotiv don't seem to feature her.

("I am one of the best Scottish strikers" isn't really that immodest a claim, is it? "I'm better than Kenny Miller and, erm, Stevie Thompson"? Aye, well done that man. It hardly takes a rampaging over-inflated centre forward ego to notice that about oneself. Give me the service Miller gets and *I'd* be fucking better than him)

Some interesting Vlad commentary courtesy of Teh Grauniad (most interesting commentary in the comments section, unsurprisingly). Also featuring a terrible pun from Tom Shields.

Scotland B drawing 1-1 with Finland at half-time, goal courtesy of Shaun Maloney.

JohnFoxxsJuno, you'd better get some tickets for La Scala or something, as UEFA suggest moving the game.

I shall (hopefully) be watching it in the Tampa Bay Celtic Supporters Club, if I can find it. Hurrah!

http://www.ufwc.co.uk/

I HEART LEE NAYLOR. That is all.

Still it was good to keep a clean sheet against them at home for the first time since Dec 03!

Wilson was shite. I'd actually have preferred Telfer, who has done nothing wrong yet has been punted in order to give Wilson his place back in the pecking order. I also feel for Darren O'Dea, who is never going to get anywhere near the first team ever again when Gary Caldwell comes back, despite being the most assured centre-half currently on our books.

I liked the look of Hartley in the midfield.

Also, dear Stuart Dougal, you really should give us penalties when players are really obviously brought down in the box. Twice.

Treefell, just so you don't feel left out, "That Was The Team That Was" this week is Raith Rovers mid-90s. Predictions: I might ignore the first half of it. They'll probably interview the scoreboard operator at the Olympic Stadium in Munich. Jimmy Nicholl will pretend to be self-effacing.

I look forward to TWTTTW several years down the line when they do "Hearts: The Romanov Years". That'll be fun.

IT'S HOTTING UP.

Monkeys go home!

The following statement was issued tonight by Vladimir Romanov:

Dear Monkeys,

Today I will not be showing your portrait to you. It is pointless. You are one step away from becoming human beings.

Go and carefully have a look at yourself in the mirror. Don't you see a human in it?

Stop fighting for the values which the ex-captain of Hearts was fighting for.

Education and truthful information - that should be your input to humankind.

Your leader Mowgli is not taking bananas any more, now he is taking money for lies and untruthful interpretation. However he is greedy and makes you collect rotten information from cesspits and poisons readers with it.

This is unworthy even of a monkey.

Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies.

To discuss whether referees take money or not is the same as discussing a woman who gives herself with no love.

Isn't it better to concentrate on the standard of their work instead of looking for reasons for their poor performance?

A woman cheats herself and nature if she gives herself without love. If a referee officiates a game based on his personal love, he commits a cynical crime, especially when the public has trusted him.

I respect those referees who take money from two stupid teams and then honestly officiates a game. They do not harm football in any way. Though it is bad, still everybody is equal for them. Perhaps that is the reason why football in Italy will never die despite all the scandals that continuously shake it.

I think that is much better than being the champions for 40 years while building up the same system for further 40 years.

Now it has become obvious to me why you, the Monkeys, were trying to ruin Hearts not only in the Championship, but in European competitions as well. I think it was not without your help that the 'frozen' referee from Russia was selected to officiate our match and that in the games against the Greek side we got three red cards.

It is not without your help that traitors were presented as heroes thus showing the road to children for betrayal.

You will always call teachers silly because unlike you they lead children along the correct path.

Protecting your values in that way just spoils not only football, but also a Scotsman's proud name.

I beg you Mowgli, take the monkeys back to the Safari Park!

scotstvo  	152

aldo_cowpat 	151

cheasyweasel 	146

ailsa_xx 	140

ilx_onimo 	135

treefell 	132

MCibula 	113

zeus88 		72