good luck, Top Gear/Brainiac dude

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:-(

― StanM (StanM), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

i really hope we don't have a steve irwin on our hands i quite fond of his escapades

― secondhandnews (secondhandnews), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I was about to start a thread. I really like Richard Hammond. I am quite unashamed in my love for Clarkson and his Top Gear buddies; despite my knowing bugger all about cars I find them all very amusing when talking about them. Also Brainiac = top telly.

i really hope we don't have a steve irwin on our hands

Let's not get premature, huh?

(though I did just remark to the mister that I think the stupid stunts on Top Gear may be coming to an end now)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

I sent emails to all the Top Gear haters about this earlier. See! Not scripted.

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

I do think this guy is a great presenter (as is Clarkson).

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah even though I'm not interested in cars (or right wing anti-environmentalist politics) I do like both this guy and Jezza as presenters. Hope he pulls through.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 22:35 (nineteen years ago)

i hope youtube won't disappoint me

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 22:38 (nineteen years ago)

:-( indeed. I just watched the "Cheap Porsches" episode (it's on YouTube) and loved his bits with the "van engine" 924.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 23:45 (nineteen years ago)

I've met him before, and he seems like a top lad. I didn't know he was right-wing though (although a lot of car people have very right-wingness when it comes to cars despite agreeing with the rest)

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 00:10 (nineteen years ago)

gosh he's top of teh news! slow day in darfur then

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 06:00 (nineteen years ago)

Surely libertarian? (as opposed to right-wing) x-post

― Ben Dot (1977), Thursday, 21 September 2006 06:07 (nineteen years ago)

Why oh why oh why couldn't it be Clarkson?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 21 September 2006 06:36 (nineteen years ago)

I really, really like Richard Hammond. I think he's a smashing presenter, and he seems such a genuinely nice guy. I hope he pulls through okay.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 21 September 2006 06:40 (nineteen years ago)

oh, he's the Brainiac dude?
oh noes, he's fun. hope he pulls through.

― it's teh_kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 21 September 2006 07:01 (nineteen years ago)

http://hometown.aol.co.uk/bagendinn1/images/richard%20hammond.jpg

― C J (C J), Thursday, 21 September 2006 07:04 (nineteen years ago)

Shame really, despite Top Gear probably being the viewing of choice for the BNP, I do find it fairly enjoyable to watch; the presenters are engaging (even the otherwise loathesome Clarkson) and it does seem to trancend its subject matter.

Hammond seemed to be the least reactionary of the three and a genuinely pleasant sort. I hope he makes a full recovery.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Thursday, 21 September 2006 09:28 (nineteen years ago)

when i saw the headlines i was so happy! because i thought jeremy clarkson was going to die.

but it's some other dude i've not heard of. pity.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 21 September 2006 09:37 (nineteen years ago)

Can't stand Top Gear. It is sad that somebody has been hurt, but I still haven't been able to stop thinking cynical uncharitable thoughts about this since I heard about it.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 21 September 2006 09:46 (nineteen years ago)

What Madchen said.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 21 September 2006 10:15 (nineteen years ago)

What Stone Monkey said.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 21 September 2006 10:18 (nineteen years ago)

he's been demoted from the top of the 1 o clock news

i can't help but wonder how many people have been mown down by retard top gear viewers though, i suspect it's not zero

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

Its the "comedy" approach to environment issues and speed cameras I don't like.

Some of the japes are fairly amusing, the cars into boats one was pretty good.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:09 (nineteen years ago)

Why oh why oh why couldn't it be Clarkson?
when i saw the headlines i was so happy! because i thought jeremy clarkson was going to die.
but it's some other dude i've not heard of. pity.

Can't stand Top Gear. It is sad that somebody has been hurt, but I still haven't been able to stop thinking cynical uncharitable thoughts about this since I heard about it.

haha otm. seriously, it's not like i want anyone to get killed in horrible accidents, but it couldn't happen to a nicer person than the presenter of a fuckawful car programme, though it would have been HEAVENLY if it were clarkson. still, i really can't really feel sad about this. i'm smiling, look.

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

The new Cassetteboy album is worth buying for the Jeremy Clarkson track alone.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:19 (nineteen years ago)

There was a time in my life when I used to find practically any celebrity injury or death immensely amusing - when I was 15 or 16, I think. Oh, I had a good laugh about Diana too. Maybe it's having kids or whatever, but I'm kinda sensitive to this sort of fatal schadenfreude thesedays. As with Irwin, I just think about his family.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

Sad if he dies, but he's still a choad.

― Von Eastey (Seuss 2005), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

for fuck's sake, some of you! he's the presenter of a tongue-in-cheek car programme, not the bloody national organiser of the british fascist league :(

for what it's worth, i find his presenting style (and top gear in general) very enjoyable - but jarlr'mai's comment above is absolutely spot-on.

i wish him and his family all the best. that said: if he doesn't pull through ... well, it's probably exactly how he wanted to go, innit?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:36 (nineteen years ago)

yeah

"out of my way NANNY STATE! no-one tells ME how fast to drive! OH NOOOOOOES!"

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

i can't help but wonder how many people have been mown down by retard top gear viewers though, i suspect it's not zero

I had a lift with a regular Top Gear viewer some time ago and it was stupidly hair-raising. I was seriously unamused, and embarrassed for that matter, as we took roundabouts the wrong way and went in and out of traffic as though the other cars were harmless traffic cones.

That said, I don't wish any ill on the bloke who's fighting for his life in hospital.

― Daniel Giraffe (Daniel Giraffe), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

Hey, I watch Top Gear. None of you haterz better be expecting lifts anywhere anytime soon! (note: watching Top Gear doesn't actually mean I can afford anything better than a clapped-out old Fiesta that would probably disintegrate at the *thought* of breaking the speed limit).

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

I did like when they played that football game with a giant inflatable ball and five a side little VWs

― Von Eatsey (Seuss 2005), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

hello sunshine OTM. guys this dude is the nice one on top gear.

as soon as he is okay i'll feel less guilty about thinking LOL he managed to crash his car in an airfield (aren't airfields just a big flat place?)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

guys this dude is the nice one on top gear.

they said this about albert speer! apart from the top gear bit obv

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

They had The Stig today (well, one of them anyway) - Perry McCarthy - on the news, in order to have his expert opinion on how jet-engined cars crash. General gist - they go fast, you hang on in there and hope for the best, if they don't crash, lucky you, if they do go wrong, well, there ain't a lot you can do about it.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:00 (nineteen years ago)

guys this dude is the nice one on top gear.

I think a lot of this thread views that as similar to being the nice one from those three melty guys at the end of Raiders. And to be honest I agree - Top Gear is an incredibly well made and innovative program, but (as a result of these qualities making it a success) have become a symbol for All That Is Bad in driving culture.

Shame about the actual guy, but if this shuts Top Gear down then fair enough.

xpost - DG in there before me:)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

haha you think this will shut top gear down?!??!??????!??

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

i suppose OMG THESE PEOPLE MIGHT HURT THEMSELVES IN THESE CARS THEY TEST are the exact kind of things that would destroy ratings, i guess.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:19 (nineteen years ago)

I think it might, or at least make them rein in the silliness, but I don't think it should.

People have got themselves killed attempting to go faster than other people before. What makes Richard Hammond any different, other than that he was doing it in front of TV cameras (oh, and that he's not actually dead)?

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:21 (nineteen years ago)

None of them warmed up for their attempt by rolling a suzuki van.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0VADnAsQaiJpu08V0CltQSGTxAyVC8OfIurT*V8SR7evS65vSl9FMCO*cGfpCGTZf1EUrj!sg8jTi4EGdJsgePyh!w5En4frihSxN9c6hlYxiJYbAI3TjO50jRHZ09rXV/getwellsoonHAMMOND.jpg

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

Haha!

I imagine the next series of Top Gear will feature a sequence JUST LIKE THAT if Hammond is around to present it. Or probably even if he isn't.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

I'm really very upset that poor Richard Hammond has been injured ..... but Dave B just made me roffle very loudly.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

The next series will definitely have an ambulance race or something. There's no way it gets cancelled because they "might hurt themselves". When has that made people not want to watch?

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:32 (nineteen years ago)

I don't remember them doing much more of the Late, Late Breakfast show when that bungee dude got wasted.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:33 (nineteen years ago)

xpost - Ask Noel Edmonds.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:34 (nineteen years ago)

that 'comic' strip is excellent. i just hope Hammond can see it.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:34 (nineteen years ago)

if hammond dies they can always do an item where they rebuld him with technology, preferably with bits from a mini metro :(

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

Less of this Hammond dying talk, pls.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:40 (nineteen years ago)

except the top speed of a boeing md-900 explorer is 275km/h (about 170mph). i will forgive him this slip as he obviously isn't well.

him and tickle blowing things up on brainiac:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=m55kgyApYrY

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:44 (nineteen years ago)

Clarkson used to blow stuff up on his chat show as well. I am evidently a small boy trapped in the body of a thirty-something woman, because, basically, blowing stuff up is cool. Racing around in fast cars is cool. Doing stupid stuff just because you can AND GETTING PAID FOR IT is cool (playing skittles with cars etc).

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

this is now officially my favourite thread ever.

one semi-serious point: dudes, there are lots of really fucking bad drivers out there who've never watched an episode of top gear in their life. sure, the show encourages that whole VROOM WAHEY mentality a bit, but it's hardly wholly responsible.

and actually, say what you like about may/clarkson/hammond, but they're excellent drivers.

well, okay. may and clarkson are :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

That was a grimly fiendish broadcast on behalf of the Institute of Advanced Motorists.

(I'm willing to bet that several people who think Top Gear is all about bad driving have never actually watched an episode of Top Gear)

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

(I'm willing to bet that several people who think Top Gear is all about bad driving have never actually watched an episode of Top Gear)

controlled arsing around on a test track != treating the A127 as yer own personal fucking drag strip (till yesterday obv)

it's a pity hammond's jet powered Pratmobile couldn't have taken down Max Power's office 9/11 style while he was at it

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

Why oh why oh why couldn't it be Clarkson?
-- Hello Sunshine (fiver_the_bunn...), September 21st, 2006.

OTM

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

Nonetheless, pressure group Transport 2000 called for the show to be taken off the air and replaced with a programme that promoted "sensible driving in sensible vehicles".
--- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/5367516.stm

HAHA. Sensible vehicles, fuck off. This is like how Trainspotting makes you take heroin

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

Who the fuck is going to watch that? Blow stuff up! Crash things! Get enthusiastic about driving really really fast down hills being chased by a dude on skis! Watching a programme that promoted "sensible driving in sensible vehicles" would be like sitting in a pub with Grimly when he's off on one about reversing into parking spaces and stuff :-/

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

controlled arsing around on a test track != treating the A127 as yer own personal fucking drag strip

Who said it did? Please explain what you're on about?

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

What I think they should replace it with, is a programme about taking public transport. Have footage of people getting on and off buses, that sort of thing.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

They should replace it with a programe that features jeremy clarkson being repeatedly hurled into a big pile of runny shit. Over and over and over again.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

yeah! who can jump off a routemaster while it is at the fastest speed!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

into piles of runny shit! let's pitch this idea!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

replace it with Seinfeld!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

seinfeld jumping into piles of shit!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

we're seriously onto something here guys.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

at 300mph!

― it's teh_kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

seinfeldjumpingintopilesofshitneeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

this idea's got legs! unlike richard hammond!

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

now i'm taking names

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

ok the bad blood people are imagining they have with TV PERSONALITIES who talk about AUTOMOBILES and occasionally throw out Thatcherite-throwback political commentary, half the time in the form of a joke, is really depressing to me.

I liked Hammond a lot and frankly (must be because I don't live in the UK and grew up under the progressive policies of Ronald Reagan instead of Pinochet's Lady Friend) despite no longer having any interest in owning a car, much less anything Clarkson would approve of, I enjoyed the show during its brief run in the States a great deal. It was in fact where I first got a crush on those eensy Smart vehicles, after Hammond and whatsisface camped out in a forfour for a night.

I hope he come out of this all right. I hope those who are badmouthing Hammond and Top Gear at this moment get their heads out of their asses and realize there are a lot worse people out there in the world to wish injury upon.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

yes but those people haven't just had an accident in a jet powered idiot machine

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

"Fuck the quarterback of the pittsburgh steelers, american football is an awful, violent, brain-dead sport, invented by psychopaths and it's ruining our university system. I'm glad he got his face ripped off, the moron. Who rides a motorcycle without a helmet? Tsk tsk."

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

if it was tony blair who'd been in a near-death accident i'd be too busy whooping it up outdoors to be getting narky on the internet about it.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

perhaps then you wouldn't be so righteous if it was steve jobs instead of hammond, tombot

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

What about if it was your mum?

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry forgot the LOL

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

oh yr such a cad

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

I realize I'm way late to the party deriding your attitude on this. jokes are one thing, as the comic strip illustrates; you're just being a fucking troll.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

"perhaps you should have posted it as an ironic quote, that would really have made me sit up and take notice"

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

By your childish behavior I have become convinced that everyone expressing concern for Mr. Hammond and his family on this thread including myself are absolutely wrong and you are actually highly insightful

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

It's well time I quit the board again for a while. apologies to everyone for turning this thread into my idiot soapbox

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

"your sarcasm cuts me so deep :("

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

Lots of talk of either death or returning to present more shows, but disfiguring injuries, paralysis or brain damage are just as possible. If he does come back to present it could well be to roadtest the Fiat motability range.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

No apologies needed, surely.

xxpost to Tom. DG, we get it. You don't like Richard Hammond and he personally is responsible for all bad driving ever seen in the UK, perhaps even in the world, even by people who have never seen Top Gear, and he should die horribly as a result.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

i'm glad you agree with a point i didn't make ailsa

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

i don't not agree with the point that neither of you never made, kids.

seriously, though, anyone coming at this thread with a "lolomg the cunt deserved it, he was on TOP GEAR ffs" attitude, really, really needs to get one heart (that's not made of stone, obv)

― i am faek_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, in absence of an explanation of "controlled arsing around on a test track != treating the A127 as yer own personal fucking drag strip", I took that to mean that you think Top Gear led stupid people to think they could arse around like Michael Schumacher, and it was therefore a bad thing (and, by extrapolation, the people who present and condone it are also a bad thing).

The crap you've chucked around then about to Tombot for no reason other than to prove that Hammond doesn't deserve sympathy isn't exactly making me think you're any great fan of Hammond and that you'd get some more mileage out of his death to prove a point as well.

The rest = exaggeration and extrapolation. It's what people do in arguments. Well. it's what I do anyway.

xpost the_kit OTM.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

"lolomg the cunt deserved it, he was on TOP GEAR ffs" attitude, really, really needs to get one heart

ffs, i don't even know who he is; it's terrible for his family, as are the 10-odd RTA fatalities (figure may include pedestrians knocked down by speeding fuckwits) in the UK every day that DON'T involve driving at fuckin 300mph.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

heard on the radio yesterday (they were talking about making people learn to drive for a year before letting them take the test) it was 4 people every day who die in car accidents? which is a FUCK of a lot.

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

that was my point, i think; it doesn't stop being tragic and start being hilarious just because he's a tv presenter. people getting fucked up in cars is a bad thing. xpost

― i am faek_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

ailsa this isn't a debating society yeah?

kit it starts being hilarious when people start announcing their grand retirement because of what some guy they don't know who lives several thousand miles away posts

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

that was my point, i think; it doesn't stop being tragic and start being hilarious just because he's a tv presenter. people getting fucked up in cars is a bad thing. xpost
-- i am faek_kit (kittenslikemil...), September 21st, 2006.

tv presenter DRIVING AT 300MPH. i mean life is fragile, maybe TRY to minimize these risks a bit, no?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

ok, you've convinced me. people being seriously injured is hilarious.

― i am faek_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

i'd probably need jaymc to help me here, but i'm pretty sure numerous ilx threads have involved laughing at people getting hurt by doing stupid shit.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

ok, you've convinced me. people being seriously injured is hilarious.

oh i see you went to the same school as ailsa

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

I hope Hammond comes back and runs all of you over in a monster truck made of real fur.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

i mean life is fragile, maybe TRY to minimize these risks a bit, no?

hmm. things would be a little duller, though, no? i mean, personally i have no desire to drive at 300mph ... well, maybe a little bit ... okay, fuck it, who am i kidding. i would LOVE to have a shot in a jet-powered car at 300mph. but it's not likely to happen. if i was lucky enough to have my own amusing motor-review revue, i'd be jumping at the fucking chance.

thing is, if it did happen, and i wiped out and knacked myself, i wouldn't actually expect too much sympathy. and from what i've seen of richard hammond on the box, he strikes me as the kinda bloke who takes risk in his stride. it's his family i feel sorry for ... what must it be like married to (or the child of) a thrill-junkie? hmm.

anyway, sorry. such musings aren't in keeping with the spirit of the thread. FUCK OFF EVERYBODE YOU ARE ALL WRONG AND I AM THE BEST DRIVER EVER ETC ETC LOL.

it was 4 people every day who die in car accidents? which is a FUCK of a lot.

the figure is reducing year on year: however, whether this is down to better driving or simply cars with more safety features i don't know.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

but - hey! - i bet i could "prove" a completely spurious correlation between increased viewing figures for TG and a reduction in road deaths.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

ailsa this isn't a debating society yeah?

I can't tell if this is a joke or just self-delusion.

― Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

"Hammond suffered 'brain injury'" says The Guardian

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:21 (nineteen years ago)

One is tempted to add that this never held Clarkson back, but uh, hope dude gets well.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:22 (nineteen years ago)

i don't think clarkson has a brain, just a V6 engine.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:25 (nineteen years ago)

Hammond's father, Alan, was reported to be looking after the presenter's two daughters. He told the Evening Standard newspaper he was "just hoping Richard pulls through".

"At the moment we are not sure if he is going to live or die. His children are very confused," he said.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

DG, what the fuck is your point? If all these people are misrepresenting you, you're not putting it across very well. It certainly seems like you're saying
1. Top Gear causes bad driving
2. The presenters are at fault
3. One got hurt!
4. Therefore: Yey!

which makes you a cunt. amirong?

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

on the 1-4 part, yes

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

Gonna actually say what your point is then, please?

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

x-post to onimo: see, the one thing that makes me think is ... if you've got kids, where do your loyalties lie? to yr thrill-seeking sense of fun etc, or to your family?

i dunno. i'm not for one minute saying hammond deserved this, and i don't buy any of the anti-TG arguments. but i do think it's a fucking tragedy for his kids, and i wonder if this was an entirely responsible job for a father to be doing.

but that doesn't help one iota now, i suppose.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

Can we get back to Seinfeld jumping off a 300mph jet-powered routemaster into a pile of runny shit? I roffled so much I damn near dropped my iBook.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 21 September 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

Gonna actually say what your point is then, please?

as yr getting vexed, no

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:00 (nineteen years ago)

okay, if i ask nicely instead: DG, can you explain your point? because i don't quite understand it.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

I think it's probably better for fathers to do these things: they're less likely to take unwarranted risks, only calculated ones. Isn't that one of the reaons Nasa insisted on fathers for the moon missions? (this mite be wrong)

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

okay, if i ask nicely instead: DG, can you explain your point? because i don't quite understand it.

as yr not getting vexed, no

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

"if you've got kids, where do your loyalties lie? "

A question that is rarely raised when a father shortlists himself for the Darwin awards. However, when a mother dies in alarming circumstances (a classic example being that British woman on K2 a few years back) the media can't get enough of the "why wasn't she thinking of her children" stuff.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

okay, I'll ask nicely instead: DG, can you explain your point? I don't quite understand it.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

stet: well, all risks are to some degree "calculated" so i'm not sure that washes. as a childless man, i don't suddenly hurl myself head-first through windows. (unless i've been drinking that cider.) never heard about the nasa thing; sounds mental enough to be true.

DG: grrrr.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

okay, I'll ask nicely instead: DG, can you explain your point? because i don't quite understand it.

as yr not getting vexed, no

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

top gear man injured in a car accident is almost as ironic as steve irwin getting killed by stingray or ilx0rs boring themselves to death.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

if Top Gear gets dropped maybe it can be replaced with Top Volume - a show all about new mp3 playing mobile phones, presented by mp3 girls.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

but ken, none of that's ironic at all. indeed, it's staggeringly surprising that none of it happens more oftenzzzzzzzzz ... urrrgh

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

multixpost

By definition a Father can't get a Darwin award, they're for people who remove themselves from the gene-pool before spawning. [/pedant]

― Everything Is Ill-Educated (noodle vague), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

I hate Alanis Morrisette and her misrepresentation of irony.

― Allyzay is a town of people, people who DIED (allyzay), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

I must say that "never do anything dangerous if you've got kids" sounds like a crappy design for life for all parties concerned.

― Everything Is Ill-Educated (noodle vague), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

well: crossing the road is dangerous. ~~at least it is if top-gear presenters are driving on it~~. going for a night out is fraught with peril. eating food can kill you. you can't avoid "danger" per se.

BUT if you've got a wife and kids, you're probably more likely to think twice about stepping into a jet-propelled rocket-car. fuck's sake, there have been slightly mad things i've been tempted to do but then i've thought, hang on, i owe it to mrs F not to put myself at excessive risk. if i had kids, i think i'd feel that even more.

and then get run over by a 44 bus while stopping to remove a potentially hazardous piece of litter from the kerb.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

(genuine irony: mrs F would probably be the one going, woah, a jet-propelled rocket car! you've GOT to have a go in that.)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

ffs LOCK THREAD, this is all fucking stupid, with a few exceptions (simon, mostly). Top Gear is televisual entertainment, not to everybody's taste, granted, but nobody's forcing you to watch it at all. I myself don't see it that often, but when I do, I am entertained (duh), I find their discussions amusing (they're scripted, but still very droll), their exploits hilarious, and their attitude vicariously thrilling (nb this does not make me a fascist, but an hours' worth of unrestricted vehicular excess is, let's be honest, fun). Now that one of the presenters is in a life-threatening condition in hospital (i.e. NOTHING TO DO WITH the 'televisual entertainment' that constitutes his programme, but REAL LIFE), both those that enjoy the show and those that don't should at least show a bit of reserve and understanding.

many xposts, anyway simon's good sense is restoring my calm. perhaps it shouldn't be locked after all.

oh, and the road-driving in top gear is scrupulously safe.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

loved that cartoon strip btw. If you do want to find humour in such a situation, that's precisely how it should be done, affectionate pastiche rather than vindictive crowing.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

LOL at Louis suggesting a thread is locked because people are being annoying on it. The ironing etc.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

I keep reading that as saying the driving on Top Gear is scrumptous and I'm a bit bothered by it.

― Allyzay is a town of people, people who DIED (allyzay), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

oh, and the road-driving in top gear is scrupulously safe.

Scrupulafe?

― JTS (JTS), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

Louis, it takes 4 yrs. of regular posting to build up the seniority to demand threadlock.

― Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

yeah pls don't lock teh thread, i've got a load of disability gags lined up

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

louis, while your comments about my posts are very kind, i do have to take issue with you on this point:

Now that one of the presenters is in a life-threatening condition in hospital (i.e. NOTHING TO DO WITH the 'televisual entertainment' that constitutes his programme, but REAL LIFE)

umm ... if it wasn't for the demands of that "televisual entertainment" - ie go really fast and make people go COR, WOO ETC - then poor mr hammond wouldn't be in the state he's in, no? i mean, every piece of filmed entertainment involves some real-life input somewhere along the line!

and i suppose the problem with TG is that, with every series, they need to do something bigger and better and ... bang.

but you're absolutely right about the road-driving on TG: they go out of their way to be responsible. (i'm sure someone will find an example of a time they didn't, but on the whole they do. they haven't got much choice, really.)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

*drool*

(xpost)

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

TBH, it's not that exciting a bit, is it? It's super fast and a jet .. but it would have been more fitting to TG if it happened when he crashed a jet-powered caravan.

pls lock DG

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

Louis, it takes 4 yrs. of regular posting to build up the seniority to demand threadlock

holy crap, my tiem has coem @ last!

LOCK BOARD!

― i am faek_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

simon, i appreciate that he was injured as a result of the demands of his 'televisual entertainment', but the MOMENT his dragster spun off the road it CEASED to become 'televisual entertainment' and BECAME a real-life situation. There's a clear distinction there.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

the MOMENT his dragster spun off the road it CEASED to become 'televisual entertainment' and BECAME really funny

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

xpost to stet: a guy i used to know back in shitepool apparently stuffed some kind of BMW engine into a fiat uno. he lasted about four seconds before spinning out of control, totalling the car and putting himself in a coma.

THING IS, he used to be a complete and utter spunker. by all accounts, when he emerged from the coma he'd transformed into a really lovely, kind, caring guy.

of course, this was all relayed to me eighth-hand by some of the least trustworthy storytellers in britain, so ...

xpost to louis: hmmmmmmm. not sure i agree. surely the "televisual entertainment" is the final, edited package - not the process involved to get there?

xpost to DG: no it didn't, you callous git!

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

Guys, guys, I'm almost sorry for starting this thread. I just wanted to express my wish that this nice seeming man, who had an accident while doing something loads of people (every boy ever?) dreams about, would fully recover because even though we all know that shit happens all the time, it's always sad and unfortunate when it does.

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

Hey, it's not your fault that some people are arseholes.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

It may be his fault that some people are, but not these people.

I noted elsewhere that this cunt DG was heralded as some kind of legend returning from exile in the home for old ilxors. Puts paid to all that "back in the day" meta nostalgia tbh.

In response to grimly's point to me a million posts ago. You'd think he would take his responsibilities into account in his decision to take such a risk, but that was no doubt outweighed by the fact that it's those kind of things that allow him to provide his wife and kids with a comfortable life.

I caught a repeat on Top Gear on one of the cable channels the other night where Clarkson was trying to beat his Gran Turismo PS2 time on a real actual circuit and couldn't do it. His reasoning that he couln't wasn't that the car wasn't fast enough or that he didn't have the driving skills, it was that he had constant "what ifs" in his head throughout the lap ("what if a tyre blows?", "what if my foot slips off the brake?" etc) and he decided that proper racing drivers didn't have those thoughts. That the risk in what they were doing wasn't even a consideration. Maybe Hammond has that kind of outlook.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

Some people really need to not react to every single fucking thing ever.

-- Onimo (gerry.wat...), September 21st, 2006.

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

haha gpwm

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

yeh, but you are something to react to here, pissant. xpost

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:10 (nineteen years ago)

i like the way you clearly don't know what 'pissant' means

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

many xposts to simon: yeah, but they were MAKING televisual entertainment up until the crash. Then they were trying to save a life. Surely different?

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.twaves.com/Image48.gif

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:15 (nineteen years ago)

it means insignificant. [checks to be certain] ooh yes, it does.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

it means insignificant.

yeh, but you are something to react to here

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not a grammar pedant, but I am a usage pedant:

piss‧ant /ˈpɪsˌænt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pis-ant] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. Slang (vulgar). a person or thing of no value or consequence; a despicable person or thing.

― Everything Is Ill-Educated (noodle vague), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

just like ants coming to the picnic. You want them to fuck right off, you wouldn't mind crushing the life out of them, but by the time they've gone you can't even recall them. Or care. Because they're insignificant AND annoying.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

looks like i'll have to shelve those plans to visit glasgow then :(

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

too fucking right

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

Can someone explain to me why Clarkson is so disliked? I have seen the program once or twice and he seemed a nice chap.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:33 (nineteen years ago)

too fucking right

lol

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

he's a petrol-headed, motor-mouthed reactionary. he has/had a column in one of the red-tops which used to just be filled with nonsense like "IF GOD HAD MEANT US TO HUG TREES HE'D HAVE GIVEN US LONGER ARMS" and basically existed to wind up every woolly liberal in the land.

he is, when he's on form, an astoundingly funny fucker. i've no idea how much of his persona is really him - quite a bit, i imagine - but i really can't help rather liking him. even though he's a cock.

DG: if you come to glasgow, stet will give you a ride in his car :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

fuck, x-post, obviously.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

xpost: he's kinda hard-on libertarian, which as I've said is fun in hour-long chunks, but imagine living/working with the dude...

I still think he's funny, though.

oh, simon has got there first. ah well. simon OTM. simon might become the british nabisco.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

we're due one.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

I like Clarkson. He's a reactionary old bugger, therefore he is like a fifty year old bloke version of me.

I think DG should come to Glasgow and come out for a nice friendly pint with me and Stet and Grimly and Onimo. It'd be good. Perhaps Top Gear afficionado Grimly could give him a lift home afterwards.

xpost

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

I've met him. He is very funny; and he's just like the classic school comedian: v. self-centred and insulting, but funny enough to get away with it all. Nuts on green issues, but funny with that too.

DG: if you come to glasgow, stet will give you a ride in his car :)
If he comes up, I'll buy one to run him over. Failing that, I'll lamp him. That "I'd tell you but" shit wound me right the fuck up.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:40 (nineteen years ago)

Perhaps Top Gear afficionado Grimly could give him a lift home afterwards.

Preferably in a supercharged Fiat Punto. Just to stick a bit of doubt in his mind...

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:42 (nineteen years ago)

simon might become the british nabisco

i think the real nabisco might have grounds to sue there, louis. still, i'm very flattered.

wound me right the fuck up

really? hadn't noticed.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:42 (nineteen years ago)

I highly recommend Clarkson's book of all his newspaper columns. It's greatly entertaining.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

Clarkson makes me laugh too, and some of his documentaries about engineering and stuff have been cool.

― Everything Is Ill-Educated (noodle vague), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:44 (nineteen years ago)

Clarkson schtick >>>> woolly liberal schtick, basically.

― Everything Is Ill-Educated (noodle vague), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost: ooh, the Sunday Times ones? They were good, frequently the only thing worth reading in the entire comments section. Dom Joly, his replacement, was a sorry shadow of his predecessor.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

If he comes up, I'll buy one to run him over. Failing that, I'll lamp him. That "I'd tell you but" shit wound me right the fuck up.

ooh a violent glaswegian, stop press

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

i take it back. please, please visit.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

A choice Clarkson quote:
"You do not just avoid the Suzuki Wagon R. You avoid it like you would avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite."

This is well funny innit cos all Africans have AIDS! I like the way everyone attacking DG enjoys Clarkson's wit and wisdom so much.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

I think any praise of Clarkson has been well qualified with phrases such as "even though he's a cock."

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/north_yorkshire/5367616.stm

Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond has suffered a "significant brain injury" after crashing a jet-powered car at speeds of up to 300mph during filming.

Doctors at Leeds General Infirmary said they were "reasonably optimistic" the 36-year-old would make a good recovery.

Call me pessimistic, but I had the impression that calling it a "significant brain injury" and then believing in a "good recovery" didn't usually go together.

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 21 September 2006 18:59 (nineteen years ago)

The brain's got a fantastic capacity for re-wiring itself after injury tho.

― Everything Is Ill-Educated (noodle vague), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

good != complete

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

reasonably optimistic != believing

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

He's been talking, which is apparently a very good sign for hopes of recovery from brain injuries. But you're not out of the woods for about 10 days, as clots and swelling can still kill you.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

nick: i'm "attacking" DG because he's being quite unpleasantly callous and unfeeling about a dude who's lying in a hospital bed with his wife and children crying their fucking eyes out and fearing he may die (or - xpost - be brain-damaged for life). sure, if richard hammond had been round DG's house and driven over his cock repeatedly - and no, i don't know for sure that he hasn't - such bile might be understandable. but in this instance it's not. and, without being a po-faced prick, it's gone beyond any semblance of humour.

plus, that particular clarkson comment isn't particularly amusing; it sounds like someone doing a poor copy of his own style.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

the MOMENT DG started posting here this thread CEASED to be rational or pleasant, and instead BECAME a bitchfest that should have been locked as soon as I said 'lock this thread'. :p

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

oKAY. And thanks FOR the clarification, oNImO. (wtF?)

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

as clots...can still kill you

well you did threaten violence earlier, QED i suppose

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

Allow me to reprase. Clots will still kill you.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

i'm "attacking" DG because he's being quite unpleasantly callous and unfeeling about a dude who's lying in a hospital bed

which is of course worthwhile as my comments DIRECTLY AFFECT his chance and speed of recovery

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

in which case my comments are as worthwhile as yours: ie not very. actually ... since when have comments on ILE been "worthwhile" in any context outwith the board? that's a particularly bizarre argument. but hey - on this evidence, what else should i expect from you? :)

and actually: if, just for a second, you stopped to think "why am i being such a miserable bastard about this seriously ill bloke?" then i'd consider i'd achieved something useful.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

THANKS I'LL GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT

http://www.sculpturegallery.com/austin3/thinker_lg1.jpg

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

yes, you too have a heart of bronze.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:27 (nineteen years ago)

your poetry melts my heart monsieur

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:30 (nineteen years ago)

good-oh. perhaps you can re-sculpt it into something a little more human?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

DG seems to have forgotten the olden days when he was distinguishable from such as Doomie

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

like onimo said upthread: on this evidence i imagine the olden days of ILX to be kinda fuckin' medieval.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

- NOTED HORSEMAN IN PERIL (500 new answers, last in the 12th century)
- YE POPE IS A BASTARD (26 new answers, last call before the public burnings)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:38 (nineteen years ago)

tombot seems to have forgotten It's well time I quit the board again for a while. apologies to everyone for turning this thread into my idiot soapbox

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

wow you guys are still here?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

i have to stay somewhere public lest stet "lamps" me :(

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

therefore you are at home on the internet for hours?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:46 (nineteen years ago)

xpost: I wonder what would actually happen if every Brit ILXor fapped simultaneously.

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

i have mitchell & webb for company :(

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

DG: fear not, you're safe from being run over by Stet because (a) he does not have a car and (b) having left my car unlocked on the street between Sunday night and about 6.15pm today when I discovered it (apparently untouched THANK GOD), he is unlikely to be driving it terribly much for a bit. Unless he can think of some reeeeeeaaally nice ways to show he's sorry.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

If he comes up, I'll buy one to run him over.
-- stet (vmdnb900...), Today 8:40 PM. (later)

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

or if he learns how to hotwire the car.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

That's alright Stet, I forgive you :)

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 21 September 2006 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

DG has done nothing but drag ILX back to it's dark gutteral days of 2001 since returning.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

DG effectively started ILE, y'know. He's the one Billy Joel fails to mention.

I don't know what's happened to him, to be honest. Seemed like a nice chap when I met him five years ago.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:23 (nineteen years ago)

it's all a persona, i imagine. he's the jeremy clarkson of ILX.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

he is jeremy clarkson, having a laugh

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

HERE I COME WITH YR FIVE FUCKING POUNDS

http://uk.gizmodo.com/jeremy%20clarkson.jpg

― The Real JC (D to thee G), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

Clarkson later revealed that he had made Hammond smile during his visit to the Leeds hospital earlier today - by calling him "a crap driver".
He told The Sun: "He was lying peacefully with a black eye but didn't react so I tried something else.
"I said, `The reason you're here is because you're a crap driver'. He then smiled at me. It was an amazing moment, very moving."
Clarkson, who spent the day at the hospital and talked to Hammond for an hour, said his co-host had been a "very lucky boy".
He also said Hammond's smile had "convinced me he will live".
And he revealed that apart from a black eye, Hammond looked like he had no other superficial injuries to show for his ordeal.
"He hasn't broken a bone in his body," Clarkson told the newspaper.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 21 September 2006 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

This is really nothing to do with me but this is the only thread i've looked at in the last 24 hours.

it's a real shame that it descended into a bit of a bun-fight. there are some real valid/interesting/pleasant/heartfelt posts but you have to wade through a lot of shit to get to 'em.

this is about a guy who no-one seemed to have any reason to dislike, doing his job, albeit one that he loved whether or not that makes any difference, getting seriously injured.

anyone not wishing him well, or at least, vocally announcing their pleasure that is is not, is a shit.

― uptoeleven (uptoeleven), Friday, 22 September 2006 01:26 (nineteen years ago)

Hey, you know what? NASA... Needs Another Seven Astronauts HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahahaha

I like Top Gear and the presenters, an hope RH makes a full recovery.

― S- (sgh), Friday, 22 September 2006 02:19 (nineteen years ago)

let me get this straight.... one of you wants to hit a guy with a car because he laughed at some other guy crashing a different car?

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 22 September 2006 02:26 (nineteen years ago)

Its also interesting to note noone here has mentioned WHY he was going so fast in a special jet car. He wasnt just showing off or dicking about, they were attempting to break the UK landspeed record.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 22 September 2006 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

what if hitting the laughing guy with your own car turned out to be pretty funny? would you have to get one of your friends to hit YOU with a car?

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 22 September 2006 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

THE ULTIMATE WEAPON

http://nxtgeneration.net/images/3642_lamp_racecar.jpg

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 22 September 2006 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

Its also interesting to note noone here has mentioned WHY he was going so fast in a special jet car. He wasnt just showing off or dicking about, they were attempting to break the UK landspeed record.

I sort of alluded to it. But not terribly clearly - I was assuming people had read the reports before wading in, which was silly of me, wasn't it?

gbx, I think you are missing the point. DG is being a dick. Grimly and Stet are being amusing. I think DG is being callous and just a touch insensitive. I don't actually think GF and stet are going to inflict massive injury on him as a result (though I may be wrong).

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 06:06 (nineteen years ago)

let me get this straight.... one of you wants to hit a guy with a car because he laughed at some other guy crashing a different car?

i know, they so *crazy*

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 06:23 (nineteen years ago)

Oh that's alright, cos, obviously, the latter is a crucial part of the advancement of humankind.

Clarkson is Richard Littlejohn with better jokes and a nicer line in raised eyebrows. That makes him a slightly different type of utter, utter cunt.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 22 September 2006 06:55 (nineteen years ago)

Don't be specious Dave, my point was it wasn't just random petrol head dickery, which seems to be the main point of contention among those of you hatin' on the thread!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:01 (nineteen years ago)

glad that madchen and dave b have showed up and brought some sense. feel bad that DG got all the grief when in fact i posted this news FIRST yesterday... on the schadenfreude thread. commiserizzles for his family but really: fucking stupid way to risk your own life.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:24 (nineteen years ago)

How is beating the landspeed record not just random petrol head dickery?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:26 (nineteen years ago)

cos he probably gets paid for it

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

It's a jet-powered car, so technically it's random ethanol head dickery.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:38 (nineteen years ago)

jet engines run on ethanol???

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:40 (nineteen years ago)

now i'm pissed off. there are definitely better ways of being a dick using ethanol

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:41 (nineteen years ago)

and none of which should involve driving

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:41 (nineteen years ago)

andrew, dave B, enrique: tell me, what would you like people to do for fun and profit in your ideal world, given that anything that might be dangerous is too much of a risk? where's the cut-off? i assume all sports are out, given the element of danger. travel is pretty much fucked too: i mean, it's not just the danger aspect. have you seen the environmental impact of cars and planes?

when i go out to get a pint of milk and some bog roll in a couple of minutes' time, if i get hit by a bus it's my fault for taking an unnecessary risk crossing the road? if i get chibbed by a madman it's my fault for living in the city?

sure, he was taking a risk. people do it, to different degrees, every day. i think there's a valid point about whether a man with a young family should be doing such extreme things - although onimo's answer to that, above, was thought-provoking too. but i get the impression the general feelimg among the hataz is less "oh, his poor family" than "ho, he's a dick and deserved it".

there's a streak of smugness and self-righteousness going on here that makes jeremy clarkson look like gandhi.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:52 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, I meant to say kerosene.

Although Dickie Branson wants to convert his planes to run on ethanol, so you never know.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:56 (nineteen years ago)

sure, he was taking a risk. people do it, to different degrees, every day.

yeah -- to different degrees they do!

i don't wish ill on his family, but if we're going to have threads about bad accidents (i had never heard of this guy till yesterday), there are people who get my sympathy more.

if i were REALLY being self-righteous i'd go on to say: "like little girls KILLED BY HIT-AND-RUN BOY-RACERS."

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:00 (nineteen years ago)

Grimly - what the fuck are you on about, son?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:01 (nineteen years ago)

andrew, you said the record attempt was just "random petrol-headed dickery". dave said it was a pointless thing to do. what i'm asking is: if people shouldn't take risks because they're dickish or pointless, what would you have them do instead? should nobody bother with anything potentially dangerous in case they hurt themselves? in which case: where do you draw the line?

should i stay in the house, wrapped in cotton wool, because today might be the day i meet my fate? i've got to drive down the A77 later: fuck me, that could be dangerous. does daring to take the risk make me a dick?

like i said: where's your cut-off point? what if he was trying to beat the world bungee-jumping record: would that make him a dick too?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:08 (nineteen years ago)

there's a streak of smugness and self-righteousness going on here that makes jeremy clarkson look like gandhi.

sums it up dunnit.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:08 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously, point me to where I was talking about an ideal society or removing risk or whatever the fuck. My points here have been:

Top Gear is incredibly entertaining. Many programmes could learn a lot from it.

Top Gear is still a bad programme (assuming you believe that programmes can be good and bad in ways that mean something other than 'more entertaining' and 'less entertaining')

Breaking the landspeed record doesn't turn this into a humanitarian gesture.

The risk has nothing to do with it - with Clarkson, I'd be as happy (in fact much happier) if he fell down some stairs and broke his neck than exploded in a car.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:09 (nineteen years ago)

That was Ailsa's phrase I was quoting, y'see.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:10 (nineteen years ago)

Er, I mean Trayce's! Sorry!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:11 (nineteen years ago)

but if we're going to have threads about bad accidents (i had never heard of this guy till yesterday), there are people who get my sympathy more

yes, absolutely. i mean, like ken and onimo have said: the dude would have been getting handsomely paid for this.

BUT i think the "fuck him, he deserved it, wot a dick" mentality being espoused by a surprising number of people round here is deeply bitter, and i'm at a loss to understand it. if he'd ploughed through a bus queue of pensioners: sure. but he didn't. he's hurt himself, and his loved ones. why so much bitterness?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:11 (nineteen years ago)

if einstein killed himself in some chemical blowup things would you say he deserved it???!!?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:13 (nineteen years ago)

Because he stands on a TV set with Jeremy Clarkson therefore he is evil Tory scum having fun and getting paid for it therefore he should die, or we at least shouldn't feel bad if he does.

I think.

(xpost to grimly)

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:14 (nineteen years ago)

Well, I was hardly suggesting what he did was something noble or humanitarian ffs. It was risky and obviously foolish. But grimly is right: what about base jumpers and bungee jumpers and parachutists and race car drivers and and and...? Humans love adventure and some people get off on the adrenalin of danger. He didnt risk anyone ELSE's life doing what he did (though I guess there was a chance of it). If this'd happened on a public road then you bet I'd be comndeming it. I hold no truck for wankers who show off in cars, don't get me wrong. I just don't think it is neccesarily fair to put this specific indicent in that category.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:14 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously, point me to where I was talking about an ideal society or removing risk or whatever the fuck

hmm. i read "how is beating the landspeed record not just random petrol-head dickery?" as meaning "why would anyone do such a stupid thing anyway?" this followed on from another poster's "the latter is a crucial part of the advancement of humankind". both these posts suggest that people who attempt to do these things are dicks/wasting their time.

in which case: what would you rather they did? stay at home and watch "top gear"? :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:15 (nineteen years ago)

if issac newton got brain damage from the apple would you say he deserved it?!?!?!?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:15 (nineteen years ago)

if the chicken died in a RTA while crossing the road would you say it deserved it??!!?!??

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:16 (nineteen years ago)

if stephen king has bad nightmares would you say he deserved it?!??!?!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:18 (nineteen years ago)

if i get RSI from typing more of these would you say i deserve it?!?!?!?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:18 (nineteen years ago)

what about base jumpers and bungee jumpers and parachutists and race car drivers and and and...?

face -- bothered rly.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:22 (nineteen years ago)

My mother, yesterday: "Ooh, I think it's terrible what happened to Richard Hammond! And what about his kids! I think that if you've got a family, you should be banned from doing anything dangerous."

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:27 (nineteen years ago)

Yes! Soldiers with children should not be deployed in war zones.

― C J (C J), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:32 (nineteen years ago)

if issac newton got brain damage from the apple would you say he deserved it?!?!?!?
-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 22nd, 2006.

erm no (though lol irony) because, hmmmmmm, let's see, THEORIZING GRAVITY is possibly a more laudable thing than DRIVING A FUCKING CAR REALLY REALLY FAST.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:33 (nineteen years ago)

Argh I have to get to work. Quickly (though speed kills, kids!):

I think myself and Dave thought that Trayce was saying "he should get some sort of free pass because he was going very fast for a reason - the reason being going faster than anyone before", which I think is a reasonable reading of her post.

I love humans doing crazy risky shit of many stripes, but in all those examples (except race car drivers), people emulating them are only a danger to themselves. Show me someone who died doing something spectacular halfway up Everest and I'll pour out a 40 for them.

Cars are different. Top Gear and its culture are different.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:34 (nineteen years ago)

apologies if i misunderstood the tenor of yr post.

disagree with "cars are different", mind. i mean, i hate, loathe and despise football, and could wax lyrical about it being a cancer on society. but that would be silly, and i won't.

i don't believe TG encourages bad driving on the road. certainly, it makes me want to go to a track day or similar - but i've never watched it and felt like doing something insane on the public road. it does make me want to buy that alfa romeo and go to track days, mind.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:42 (nineteen years ago)

feel bad that DG got all the grief when in fact i posted this news FIRST yesterday

haha don't, this thread's a hoot, unless yr a glaswegian or pompositybot apparently

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:44 (nineteen years ago)

x-post to Trayce

The point about him only risking his own life and not anyone else's is a really good one. someone who drives like a lunatic on public roads, plows into a wall and ends up in a coma is not entitled to as much sympathy as someone who ends up in the same state on a race track.

no-one's calling richard hammond mother theresa but he made one of the most entertaining programmes on tv and all the stunts he did were, presumably, carried out under controlled condition with as many precautions taken as reasonable to expect. he is surely entitled to better than some spiteful shits have proffered here.

and wishing anyone who you've never met and who has never directly harmed you dead is pretty fucking nasty.

― uptoeleven (uptoeleven), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:49 (nineteen years ago)

and as far as other people being more deserving of sympathy, no-one's saying you can't talk about them too, this just happenes to be about mr. hammond.

― uptoeleven (uptoeleven), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:50 (nineteen years ago)

Not been a good week for the Beeb, what with this and Sam Allardyce about to take them to the cleaners over that pisspoor bung probe prog.

― Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:51 (nineteen years ago)

"he was only risking a wall."

and wishing anyone who you've never met and who has never directly harmed you dead is pretty fucking nasty.

osama bin laden?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:51 (nineteen years ago)

Grimly and Stet aren't Glaswegian (x-post)

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:53 (nineteen years ago)

Neither am I. Sorry DG, it's not a Glaswegians v DG thing at all.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:59 (nineteen years ago)

WTF @ this bizarre thread.

"Top Gear" must have changed beyond all recognition since we got rod of the telly, it was a crock of obnoxious pompous macho reactionary shit last time I saw it. (more than 2 years ago, admittedly) I like cars, as well. I don't like cocks like Clarkson. I don't like his attitude, which appears to me to boil down to "I should be able to do what the fuck I want, fuck anyone else, and anyone who complains about it is a total fag" (cf endless, endless pitiful, hateful whining about "the pc brigade", environmentalists, speed cameras) He's also a shit presenter, unless he's got a lot better in the last couple of years. It always used to strike me that his vocabulary was poor and juvenile, and he was never able to adequately describe stuff the he was/is paid a lot of money to, well, to describe. (this obv 0 to do w/this Hammond guy, more in answer to nathalie's question upthread)

I don't remember this Hammond guy, and didn't recognise the picture I saw. Obv, I hope he doesn't die, and recovers ok.

The main reason we got rid of the tv was we were both fucked off with the whole culture of spectacle thing. This doesn't really make me want to try getting another.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:00 (nineteen years ago)

I would have pointed that out but didn't want to interrupt the stereotyping.

xp to madchen

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:04 (nineteen years ago)

HI DERE FELLOW GLASWEGIANS

― teh_kit (g-kit), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Nick DaStoor's still Glaswegian, though, right?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

wow you guys must work for MI5 yr so cunning

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:08 (nineteen years ago)

I never liked "Top Gear" the early days, since one time I tuned in expecting john Peel to be presenting it...

This was pre-clarkson.

Even when he joined, it was dull and over-authoritarianst in it's "This is the best car you'll never afford, poor people"...

Nu-Top Gear tempered Clarkson's arrogance with some people rendering his point of view as "trivial/wrong" which added balance, and at least now he comes across as even-handed. (Previously, the presenters never interacted. I'm not even sure they even met).

Now, it at least is interesting. Some of the 'let's smash thing up outrageously' is more comedy, and has nothing to do with creating tearaway youth drivers, in the same way as Laurel and Hardy had nothing to do with the teenage gangs that used to congregate around railway stations in the thirties, hitting commuters with custard pies.

Cars are seen as exciting to young lads. This happens way before they're old enough to stay up and watch it. You take "Top Gear" off the telly, nothing will change there.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:12 (nineteen years ago)

i think hammond did a lot to change top gear for the better. the last couple of series were highly entertaining and basically involved him, may and clarkson doing stupid things and having a laugh, pausing occasionally to take the piss out of nissan micras. (and, as a former micra-driver: no, i wasn't offended at all.)

on paper i should hate clarkson, and indeed i think i used to. perhaps he's improved/mellowed with age, 'cos i really find him quite entertaining now. or perhaps the slight change in format and tone of the programme forced him to moderate his approach. he's still a cock, certainly. but he's become the acceptable face of cockdom.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:14 (nineteen years ago)

hidden xpost there. mark OTM about the change in clarkson and how he's dealt with, yes.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:15 (nineteen years ago)

I think boy racers are too busy tearing around estates in stupidly loud small cars ( /cliche ) to be arsed watching a bunch of old farts talking about cars that would cost 5 years wages.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:18 (nineteen years ago)

exactly.

What was interesting was the different ways BBC and ITV evening news' coverage.

ITV particularly went for the jugular regarding 'war of ratings' and the website 'promoting' the 'reckless driving macho image'...

But finished off the programme, the presenter expressing "we wish him well" sentiment while skipping off the step he was standing on.

Though, I did smile at the "WE FOUND THIS ON THE TOP GEAR WEBPAGE "A series of Top Gear is incomplete without a serious attempt to kill Richard Hammond" !!!! "

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:20 (nineteen years ago)

I shd probably point out here in my defense that TG has only started being shown here recently. Before that the only time I'd seen it was when I was in the UK in 97. I suspect some of the animosity here (possibly partly justified) is from those of you who know the show - and its presenters - history. I wouldn't have a clue Clarkson is a wanker or Hammond is allegedly some right wing nob. I just saw a funny show where they sent a mini on skis down a ski slope. I liked it.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:20 (nineteen years ago)

Though, I did smile at the "WE FOUND THIS ON THE TOP GEAR WEBPAGE "A series of Top Gear is incomplete without a serious attempt to kill Richard Hammond" !!!! "

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), September 22nd, 2006.

hahahaha! i mean *sniff*, it's a terrible tragedy.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:21 (nineteen years ago)

Bit too serious this time, amirite?

― Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:23 (nineteen years ago)

That'll be the same ITV who took advantage of Hammond's cheerful enthusiasm for stupid stuff to try and make him the answer to their 5pm counter-Richard-and-Judy slot? Blow stuff up with Richard Hammond and Mel Giedroyc!! Except it was a bit dull really, and they maybe should have realised that Richard Hammond's strength is in doing and getting exciting about mad and stupid stuff.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:24 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, everyone's talking about his wife and kids, nobody's feeling sorry for Mel Giedroyc in all this.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:25 (nineteen years ago)

The main reason we got rid of the tv was we were both fucked off with the whole culture of spectacle thing. This doesn't really make me want to try getting another.

-- Pashmina (vietgrov...), September 22nd, 2006 10:00 AM. (Pashmina) (link)

surely this thread would make you want to get rid of the computer as well if you follow the logic through?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:25 (nineteen years ago)

That's if you imagine ILE as a culture of spectacle. The word "culture" seems wrong.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:26 (nineteen years ago)

Even when he joined, it was dull and over-authoritarianst in it's "This is the best car you'll never afford, poor people"...

yeah that was the worst bit about Top Gear - they all had really shit taste in cars!

xpost i was thinking culture as in a petri dish

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/arts/2005/07/07/petrid372.jpg

AMIRITE? AMIRITE?

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:30 (nineteen years ago)

wearing a school blazer...?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:31 (nineteen years ago)

To show how he's the "head boy" of pop critics, obv.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:33 (nineteen years ago)

Been fagging for him Dom?

― NickB (NickB), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

"the word 'culture'" seems wrong", ken.

Don't they still have shit tastes in cars? A common theme in the magazine, when I flip through it, seems to be "lets group test a lexus, a jaguar and a mercedes, point out that the lexus is superior in every way, then at the end proclaim the mercedes is the best buy because, well, it's a mercedes, innit, and mercedes is just THE BEST don't argue, we know about this stuff"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

sure puts a different spin on 'head boy'

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

xpost yeah sorry i dunno why i said "was" and put everything in past tense. i hope it's not an omen :\

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:35 (nineteen years ago)

To show how he's the "head boy" of pop critics, obv.
-- Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (juror...), September 22nd, 2006

haha an american rock-and-pop critic actually calls himself "THE DEAN" !!1111!1!! LOL

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 09:35 (nineteen years ago)

let me get this straight.... one of you wants to hit a guy with a car because he laughed at some other guy crashing a different car?
No, I want to hit him with a car because he's a bell-end who thinks that his actions won't have consequences.

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:18 (nineteen years ago)

LOL @ stet who thinks i have magic powers

i mean it's not like i popped to the infirmary and was like i'm in yr ICU, pissing in yr drip

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

I'M ON YR ILX, TROLLING UR BORED

― teh_kit (g-kit), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:24 (nineteen years ago)

yes, i've been reading your posts

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:25 (nineteen years ago)

I don't think you're getting this: the opprobrium is not because you can in any way harm Hammond (oh if only typing on ILX could do that) but because you behave like a callous, asocial slice of dick cheese.

The party's moved on since you were last here, and now you're disliked -- even by ppl who have good memories of you before.

If this were a real conversation in a pub, the way everyone was looking at you, reacting to you, and shouting down everything you said would be your clue as to how it was time to shut up or leave. That doesn't happen here, so you keep cheerily posting, as if you can toll the bell-end for as long as you like. You can't, because I'll beat you up for it.

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:27 (nineteen years ago)

yeah that's right stet, let's take it to the car park like real men, men who make threats on internet message boards

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

are you guys gonna drag race in the car park?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:32 (nineteen years ago)

If this thread continues in this vein I'm going to lock it. (By which I mean, not ken c's last post, the 2 or 3 before it)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

I thought you'd bring that up. I've never done it before, actually, but you opted out of discussing anything about this (I'd tell you but...) so there's not much left is there? In a pub someone would have thrown a beermat at you, or punched you on the arm for that. Here you're just breezing down the same route unchecked, until the beermat becomes a ton of bricks.

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

xposts: some ppl might like to know Hammond is out of intensive care.

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

Pash, all that's going to happen if you lock it is that another thread will get started about the merits of Top Gear and a thread will probably get started for people who want to talk about Richard Hammond/car crashes/doing stupid things for fun. You can't lock an interesting discussion because one or two people are being dickish. Well, I guess you can, but I don't see why you should. It'll spill over elsewhere anyway, why not just leave it here?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

leave it ee ain't worth it

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

In a pub someone would have thrown a beermat at you

OH NOES

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

stop press: DG isn't afraid of beer mats

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

OK, can I suggest then that both stet and DG cool it, please. if you want to continue the pub analogy, this is the barman telling you to calm down.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:39 (nineteen years ago)

just reopen Dom's thread pash. there's all kinds of right-winger puns to be made there.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:40 (nineteen years ago)

[drinks gin shakily]

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

also: isn't there an option to block specific users from threads rather than locking the whole thing? (throw out the drunks rather than closing the pub etc.)

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, there is, but I don't want to get into that.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

I'm glad Richard Hammond is out of intensive care. I hope that any moment now he'll pinch a kid's pedal car from the paediatric ward play room and zoom around the hospital corridors doing a piece to camera in his wonderfully charming, thoroughly likeable and utterly exuberant style.

I don't care what the rest of you think - I think he's a very watchable TV presenter, and I like him and wish him well.

― C J (C J), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/north_yorkshire/5369512.stm

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

Also, this article (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/5370394.stm) about driving very very fast indeed is quite interesting. Also the fact that people do this kind of thing for fun all the time, and it's only because Hammond is high-profile, was doing it for the telly and it went wrong that anyone gives a toss that he was driving fast at all.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 11:50 (nineteen years ago)

I can't see the link between a speed record attempt and random petrolhead cockfarmery, that's like blaming WWE for the bevvied up wankers who go looking for a scrap on a Saturday night.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:09 (nineteen years ago)

speed record attempt IS petrolhead dickery, surely?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:11 (nineteen years ago)

Has anyone died yet?

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

"Thank goodness there are still men out there that we emasculated western men can look up to. There will be any amount of ninnys both male and female will condemn this, but at least he took a risk and paid the consequence. We need more spirited men and women who are prepared to take a risk for role models for our over risk adverse government. My sympathies with richard hammond and his family."

Marcus, grantham

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

Enrique, are you really failing to see the difference between doing a controlled "experiment" (for want of a better word) in a disused airfield with emergency services on standby, and some cockfarmer driving a souped-up penis-extension through a busy street with no regard for pedestrians or other motorists?

You might not see the point in setting records, pushing limits, etc, but if you are going to do it, this is surely the safest way?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

mentalist, grantham (x-post)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

speed record attempt IS petrolhead dickery, surely?

If I jumped into my motor and drove down the A1 in a vain attempt to break a speed record, yes it would be dickery. If I got into a well prepared vehicle with a full crew of mechanics, saftey equipment, fire and medical services on standby and tried to do it on a flat near deserted airstrip I'd say not.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

xpost with Ailsa, obv.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

i don't get the desire to break the land speed record! it's all part-and-parcel of teh same thing to me.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

well, i'm guessing such attempts (and the developments involved in preparing them) have some impact on the progression of automotive science, in the same way pilots trying to break the sound barrier, etc, were a crucial part of space travel (cf The Right Stuff), though i don't really know for sure.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

Get one sense of adventure!

(and what Stevie said)

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

does running count as muscle headed dickery?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

going to space is kind of dickery if landspeed record is dickery innit.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:25 (nineteen years ago)

But both the actual event and your straw man are covered by 'petrolhead dickery'.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:25 (nineteen years ago)

posting on ilx is kind of a dickery

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

conclusion: everybody's a dick.

yay! shame slipknot got to that conclusion first.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Is Cajun food just hickory dickery?

― NickB (NickB), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

90% of everything is dickery. But if we only did things that were in the service of the greater good then ... oh, wait

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

i bet my dickery is bigger than yours

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

and you can all service my greater dickery

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:32 (nineteen years ago)

lock thread now

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

he's out of intensive car

― cappacappa (cappacappa), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

90% of 50% of everything is dickery, really.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 22 September 2006 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

90% of 50% of everything would be something like "ever", or "hing", or "very" or "thin".

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

or "ryth"

― C J (C J), Friday, 22 September 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

i don't get the desire to break the land speed record!

right: next time you're up in glasgow, we'll find a disused airstrip ... somewhere ... and you, me, ailsa, onimo and stet can try and break the land-speed record in a fully laden [1] 1.6-litre mitsubishi colt. it'll be FUN.

[1] especially with stet's big ol' ass on board.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

NB: MY CAR. I'M DOING THE DRIVING. so there.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

"It's... semi-disused"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

"it LOOKED like an airstrip, officer!"

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

"The party's moved on since you were last here, and now you're disliked -- even by ppl who have good memories of you before."

― cappacappa (cappacappa), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, give it a rest.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

I'M THE DADDY NAAAAAAH

http://www.copperlily.com/AboutRayWinstone/Images/SCUM.jpg

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

it's time to shut up or leave? xpost

― cappacappa (cappacappa), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

why is ilx shit?

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

Man, if only Lex had been around for this thread it coulda been an all-time classic

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

Because of the people on it.

― Allyzay is a town of people, people who DIED (allyzay), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

there's less girls on ilm but more americans.

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

there are fewer girls on ilm but more americans you nitwit

― cappacappa (cappacappa), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

don't understand nitwit

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 22 September 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

i think acrobat meant the girls are thinner on ilm

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

i think acrobat meant the girls are slimmer on ilm you nitwit

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

Is it possible to get a brain injury from reading ILX threads?

― NickB (NickB), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

Haha. It would appear so, sometimes.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

you can get one from posting on them
sorry, sorry

― stet (stet), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

we are all nitwit

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

Oh no, not me. The whole point of the existence of people like Richard Hammond is that *he* does mad shit like that so that I don't have to. I'll sit at the sit of the airstrip with a can of beer, chuckling heartily and providing sarcastic commentary. Also, you can't bring Onimo. People with kids aren't ALLOWED to do stuff like this. Won't someone think of the children?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

we are all nitwits you nitwit

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

ailsa whatever you do sit on the left side of the strip. to be on the safe side

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

nitwit you nickpick.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

hey nobody's made a funny omg top gear presenter veers to the right even when crashing joke yet!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 September 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

...and now we know why. :p

― Space Gourmand (Haberdager), Friday, 22 September 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

Hey, no Hammond organ jokes either.

Meanwhile, he's been walking & stuff, but

http://people.monstersandcritics.com/article_1204252.php/Long_term_concerns_for_Top_Gears_Richard_Hammond_

― StanM (StanM), Saturday, 23 September 2006 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

Clarkson's piece in the Sunday Times today was superb (and very, very funny). He's actually a good guy, I'd say. A harmless guy whose political opinions shouldn't be allowed to detract from his warmth (yes, warmth) and humour.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Sunday, 24 September 2006 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, and John Major was a nice guy too. That's all that matters really isn't it?

― Dave B (daveb), Sunday, 24 September 2006 23:37 (nineteen years ago)

If you're being serious: Not all, but it certainly helps.

If you're not: Clarkson != in a position with any political influence, let alone Prime Minister. He's a television presenter and journalist, give the man a break.

Oh, the confusing power of the written word...

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Sunday, 24 September 2006 23:41 (nineteen years ago)

I hear Richard Littlejohn loved his mum and only killed his own.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 24 September 2006 23:44 (nineteen years ago)

Now he is an indefensible cunt, several notches above and beyond Clarkson on the 'morally repugnant' scale, residing somewhere near Kelvin Mackenzie and his twisted cabal (of which he was once and may still be a member).

A Clarkson comparison seems far-fetched even from you, Mr. Passantino.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Sunday, 24 September 2006 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

Ad dominem arguments are fallacies, Mr. Jagger.

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 25 September 2006 07:21 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, journalists and television presenters have no influence at all. Wtf?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:29 (nineteen years ago)

comparing clarkson to littlejohn -- dom, are you INSANE?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

who the fuck is cappacappa?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

You would agree that Littlejohn is both a television presenter and a journalist, right?

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:42 (nineteen years ago)

i "did a Hammond" this morning.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

in a Nissan Micra!

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

pose that question to louis, dom, i was doing funny right there.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:45 (nineteen years ago)

You should have put a ";)" at the end of it so we realised.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:47 (nineteen years ago)

Or posted under the names "g-kit" or "chaki", they're some funny characters.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:48 (nineteen years ago)

or said 'amirite?'

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

It's pronounced "a-meer-ri-tay", it's Latin in origin.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

you should have said this at a hen fap

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

I would agree with that, Dom, but my argument was never that Littlejohn was ever in a position of true political influence either. However, if you want to bring that up, I shall state that although he has his readership, viewers and listeners (of which I was one in the heady 606 footie phone-in days, before I became aware of what sort of a man this was), they all think in a certain manner, which Littlejohn does not attempt to influence or change, but pander towards. Even the top journalists have very, very little political influence of their own, unless they happen to be close friends or advisers towards those in the Cabinet.

p.s. emeritus, amirite?

As for Jeremy Clarkson, his journalism tends to be based in humour, his television presentation in pure entertainment. Littlejohn's are based in putting across social viewpoints that should have been eradicated forty years ago. The difference between the two are incredible.

What is your argument anyway? Yes, Littlejohn has the same basic job descriptions as Clarkson, but his existence didn't cross my mind as I wrote my original post. Clarkson is a man who happens to have no political influence, and this is because of what sort of journalist and TV presenter he is.

Maybe there are those swayed by Littlejohn's imbecilic cant, but that doesn't take away from the sentiments expressed in my original post. Clarkson is the sort of journalist who shouldn't be attacked as a political figure, because he really isn't one.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

*that p.s. should be at the end.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

yeah politicians are totally uninfluenced by the media.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

Littlejohn is worse than Clarkson.

amirite?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

wikipedia.org/hairs, splitting of

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

Is Sandie Shaw worse than Pierre Boulez?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

'The Media' != a single journalist. Crowd mentality, dude. On their own they have nothing, together they are a different animal.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

i would be very very happy if j clarkson were to die in a horrible accident

ditto r littlejohn

i don't think there is any excuse for them existing, really

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

...except the fact that there are millions of people who genuinely enjoy Top Gear?

And several thousand more who revel in their red-top bigotry?

Actually, you're probably right about Littlejohn.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:19 (nineteen years ago)

millions of people genuinely enjoy 'hollyoaks'. doesn't mean they shouldn't be deported.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

...except the fact that there are millions of people who genuinely enjoy Top Gear?

And several thousand more who revel in their red-top bigotry?

oh those people should die too, obviously!

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:24 (nineteen years ago)

b-b-but I genuinely enjoy Top Gear!

Do you want me dead now? :(

(Dom, stay away)

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:25 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, we all want you dead. Ned says so, and what he says, goes. Apparently.

:-)

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:26 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't wanting bigoted people to die bigoted?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:27 (nineteen years ago)

it depends, if you mean squirrel_police or not.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

yeah but people like clarkson are asking for it.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

He's hardly bin Laden.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

bin laden probably likes brainiac :\

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

on his own bin laden has nothing, together he's a different animal

― stet (stet), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

apparently clarkson said this in the ST yesterday:

"The good news is that as last week wore on, and the messages of goodwill to Richard and his family have poured in, The Guardian has been a bit humbled. Until now, they've had it all their own way. Egged on by environmentalists and goaded by muddle-headed road safety experts, they've been able to dominate the agenda, keeping the pressure on us and the BBC to tone it down.....Now, though, I'm starting to feel the boot is on the other foot. For the first time, we all know that large numbers of people really love Richard and really love Top Gear....."

right, of course, the anti-car lobby 'has had it all their own way.'

silly me for thinking everything from geopolitics to housing to... fucking *everything* is determined by car-and-fuel dependence.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:51 (nineteen years ago)

What you have to remember is that there are nine million bicycles in Beijing.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

That's a fact.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:57 (nineteen years ago)

Right, so Top Gear presenter crashes at 300mph will inevitably lead to abolishing the speed limit on all roads?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

If Dickie Valentine or Marc Bolan couldn't persuade them, then Top Gear Presenter certainly wouldn't!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not sure if I imagned this or not, but I'm sure I read somewhere this weekend that Richard Hammond did actually break the land speed record, and was punching the air with his fist when he lost control of the car and crashed. Which would be really stupid.

I still like him though, and I'm glad he's recovering well.

― C J (C J), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

right, of course, the anti-car lobby 'has had it all their own way.'

silly me for thinking everything from geopolitics to housing to... fucking *everything* is determined by car-and-fuel dependence.

I have a feeling that JC is only referring to the issue of whether jet-powered-car record-attempts are viable or not. You are taking his words firmly out of context.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:47 (nineteen years ago)

that can't be only what he was referring to. the statement 'the guardian has had it all its own way on the matter of jet-powered-car record-attempts' would be... silly.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

Perhaps he was thinking of Petridish's comments on Australian revivalist rock bands.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2372412_1,00.html

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

certain parts of the BBC

I can believe that..."ooh, what a good excuse to can the show and save tons of money!"

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

more lex

― acrobat (elwisty), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

Indeed, DG. Enrique, you claim that such an argument would be 'silly', but Clarkson is only responding to the absurdity elsewhere. You omit to mention the fragment of the article imminently preceding the part that you quote:

Perhaps you might argue that Hammond is setting a bad example and that kids might try to copy him. What? In their jet cars? On their airfields?

So, yeah, he IS talking about jet-powered record-attempts. And Top Gear IS a very silly programme. A very silly programme that I LOVE!

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

in other news, dario silva, ex of portsmouth, was involved in a car crash in montevideo over the weekend, and had to have part of his leg amputated.

― Tommy Woodry (tommywoodry), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

The top part?

― C J (C J), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

That's it, football should be banned!

(xpost lol)

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

Sugababes to sing for him!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2006440562,00.html

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 07:29 (nineteen years ago)

How convenient, just before their greatest hits album comes out!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:11 (nineteen years ago)

I suppose it's an improvement on Shakin' Stevens or Ronan Keating.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:16 (nineteen years ago)

or the primitives

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:17 (nineteen years ago)

Or Big Stick, that'd make him think twice next time.

― NickB (NickB), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:31 (nineteen years ago)

RICHARD HAMMONSD FOR JUNIOR ENVIRONMETN MINISTER

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:42 (nineteen years ago)

that jet engine thing took him down HARDCORE. DAMMMNNN.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

Are they going to perform their single "Hole in the head" ?

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 08:56 (nineteen years ago)

No because he's "Stronger"!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Suddenly, the thread title is relevant again too:

good luck, Top Gear/Brainiac dude (Sugababes to sing for him!)

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 10:16 (nineteen years ago)

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e184/CreepyMike/clarkson2.gif

― StanM (StanM), Wednesday, 27 September 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

This thread was fucking horrible. People be REALLY horrible (especially several people I like and would expect better of).

Anyway, I've just been watching Hammond's first stint back on Top Gear, and ~~wondered if all you cockfarmers were a bit pissed off that he's OK now and you can't laugh~~ am genuinely amazed at the recovery he made. His interview on Jonathan Ross just before Christmas was one of the loveliest bits of telly I've seen for a long time.

And I'm glad Top Gear's back :-)

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 February 2007 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

(also, hindsight-assisted lolz at the pre-race footage of Hammond explaining how if he fucked it up it would be the worst accident ever)

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 February 2007 19:55 (nineteen years ago)

OTM²

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 1 February 2007 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

ha, did we really ban DG because of this thread? If so high 5s all round

― TOMBO7 (TOMBOT), Thursday, 1 February 2007 20:11 (nineteen years ago)

That Jonathan Ross interview, btw, for anyone who didn't see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqWFK8GB1Hc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=772KpokzjdE

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 February 2007 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

Richard Hammond now likes celery.

pwned

― The DG they couldn't ban (D_To_The_G), Thursday, 1 February 2007 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

seven months pass...

Great thread

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

brilliant thread. almost as much fun as trying to break the land-speed record in a nissan micra. i've just spent 20 happy minutes re-reading it.

(hammond had a minor crash the other day, apparently, but wasn't hurt at all.)

― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 13 September 2007 12:24 (eighteen years ago)

stet never did get that car :( but his hysteria is a lol :)

― DG, Thursday, 13 September 2007 13:05 (eighteen years ago)

why didn't I post on this thread

― RJG, Thursday, 13 September 2007 13:12 (eighteen years ago)

because it was crazy enough?

― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 13 September 2007 13:14 (eighteen years ago)

who teh fuck was cappacappa?

― DG, Thursday, 13 September 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

haha!

― RJG, Thursday, 13 September 2007 20:55 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

this episode is showing next monday on BBC America :?!>!!@>??

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 04:02 (eighteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

ok I am fully aware this probably makes me a complete rube with abysmal standards of comedy but I am laughing my ass off at the american road trip episode where they go looking for sub-$1000 cars in Miami and drive up through to Nawlins in them. The cheap murder jokes, the fat Stig who lives in a trailer, driving though Alabama with HILLARY FOR PREZ and MAN LOVE RULES OK painted on the sides, this for some reason is my idea of gold. Especially the part where they actually get chased by a lynch mob of sleeveless absolute rednecks in trucks with guns.

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 04:16 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Tom, I just watched this last night - your standards are only abysmal if you think that laughing at some really funny shit is abysmal.

The "our television show became a radio show" portion was HILARIOUS.

And they should have been scared for their lives. Rednecks only get even more pissed off by a showing of liberal politics when they feel like its being rubbed in their faces.

― B.L.A.M., Wednesday, 14 November 2007 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

RIP

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 21:02 (seventeen years ago)

Can't believe he's been gone eighteen months already

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 21:02 (seventeen years ago)

oh look stet^^^ you're going to kill me! on the internet!

― DG, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 21:02 (seventeen years ago)

no, lookit, CONTROVERSIAL ABUSE OF MOD POWERS

― stet, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 21:08 (seventeen years ago)

nine years pass...

blaargh these headlines really didn't help my mood today at all but anyway

Program-makers said Hammond was airlifted to hospital with a fractured knee. The Rimac Concept One electric supercar was reduced to a twisted, blackened mess after it crashed and caught fire.
The program said in a statement that Hammond crashed after completing a climb of Hemburg Hill in the east of the alpine country.
"Richard was conscious and talking, and climbed out of the car himself before the vehicle burst into flames," it said. "He was flown by air ambulance to hospital in St. Gallen to be checked over, revealing a fracture to his knee."

― El Tomboto, Saturday, 10 June 2017 19:13 (eight years ago)

legendary thread, DG urgently required for latest bump

― imago, Saturday, 10 June 2017 19:57 (eight years ago)

too many xmases in one weekend

― K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:02 (eight years ago)

yeah, remember when "slow days in darfur" was a funny way to respond to a popular person being in critical condition?

should have just started a new thread.

― El Tomboto, Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:13 (eight years ago)

not read restof thread but support making new one to laugh at terrible person fucking his knee up doing something idiotic

― K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:17 (eight years ago)

Heeeeeere we go again! [audience laughter]

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:22 (eight years ago)

that initial run of posts into DG's entrance is one of the best things on ILX

― imago, Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:36 (eight years ago)

top lad

― K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:41 (eight years ago)

I wouldn't complain if the whole cast of this show were to take up dangerous pursuits like getting tied to cruise missiles and seeing if you can die messier than D Campbell!

― calzino, Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:44 (eight years ago)

the world water speed record has i think an 85% mortality rate for attempts? surely a challenge worthy of the top gear name

― imago, Saturday, 10 June 2017 20:46 (eight years ago)

God keeps trying

― There's got to be a Corbyn after (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 June 2017 21:08 (eight years ago)

If you guys hate fun this much why is ILM such a wasteland these days

I'll get me coat

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 11 June 2017 03:53 (eight years ago)

three years pass...

We’re actually really looking forward to his new series on Amazon Prime that starts at the end of the month.

With Tory Belleci from Mythbusters too!

― sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Saturday, 9 January 2021 23:05 (five years ago)

three years pass...

I hadn't thought about this show or any of the spin-offs since the last time I posted here 17 years ago but...

‘Top Gear’ Host Chris Harris Tells Joe Rogan - I Warned BBC “Someone Is Going To Die” Before Freddie Flintoff Crash Forced Show Off Road

Top Gear presenter Chris Harris has ripped open the bonnet on one of the darkest chapters in the motoring show’s history — and it makes ugly listening for the BBC.
Appearing on The Joe Rogan Experience, Harris revealed that he warned the BBC that “someone is going to die” on Top Gear unless health and safety standards were improved.
Harris said he made his concerns known months before co-host Freddie Flintoff suffered serious facial injuries during an accident at Dunsfold Park Aerodrome in Surrey on December 13, 2022.

― Elvis Telecom, Saturday, 7 September 2024 01:41 (one year ago)

Classic Top Gear travel episodes and the early Grand Tours are a guilty pleasure but I haven’t been able to get more than a half hour into the last 3-4. Can’t believe Amazon would keep funding them phoning it in so blatantly.

― papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 7 September 2024 01:57 (one year ago)

Bizarre thread lol

I wonder if any of the top gear loving melts itt ever saw Stewart Lee’s routine on this & if so did they pop their monocles as embarrassingly then too

― keep kamala and khive on (wins), Saturday, 7 September 2024 10:19 (one year ago)

yeah it's great! people do change you know, quite a few of these 'melts' still post. this written having stared through fingers at my own first contribution itt ffs lol

― imago, Saturday, 7 September 2024 10:31 (one year ago)

oh god I kept going. oh god oh no. ban. ban hard

― imago, Saturday, 7 September 2024 10:36 (one year ago)

there could at least have been one poster with the strength of character to wish death upon the cunt!

― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 7 September 2024 10:46 (one year ago)

It's the older, meaner ilx

― Yuwen Hu's army (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 7 September 2024 11:31 (one year ago)

Appearing on The Joe Rogan Experience, Harris revealed that he warned the BBC that “someone is going to die” on Top Gear unless health and safety standards were improved.

the joe rogan experience continues its unbroken run of guests being wrong

― katy perry (prison service) (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 7 September 2024 11:42 (one year ago)

Hehe imagine if that fuckin Clarkson Oh No Anyway gif had been around in 2006

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 7 September 2024 14:12 (one year ago)

I don't find it difficult to reconcile agreeing with the Stewart Lee bit, wishing fiery death on all three principals of the show AND enjoying the trek across Mongolia in a souped up ATV.

― papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 7 September 2024 16:21 (one year ago)

That’s nice but there were other posts in the thread before yours. Give it a skim, it’s some very silly stuff!

― keep kamala and khive on (wins), Saturday, 7 September 2024 18:02 (one year ago)

a disquieting glimpse back into a past version of ILX where it was somehow considered acceptable to disparage an attempt to break [weeping, saluting] The World Land Speed Record

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 7 September 2024 18:06 (one year ago)

Come for the esoteric music chat, stay for the confusingly spirited defences of the spiteful and reactionary presenters of the Vroom Vroom Dumbfuck Show

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 7 September 2024 18:13 (one year ago)

Stewart Lee routine worth posting in full

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7CnMQ4L9Pc

― Elvis Telecom, Saturday, 7 September 2024 22:01 (one year ago)

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