Terrifying Moments in Everyday Life

WAHT?

When I finally got home, I tore down our long driveway at 30 miles per hour and dashed into the house. It turns out my Grandma from Iowa had made a surprise visit. I ran past my family, bleeding all the way, and down into my basement bedroom. My mom said "Don't get any on the carpet!"

However, a couple months ago one of my neighbors was killed driving behind a log truck on the highway when one of the logs fell out and went through her windshield before she could get out of the way, and now I feel dread (almost terror, but calmer!) whenever I drive behind a log truck and try to pass it as quickly as I can.

xpost wow that's a gross story

He then proceeded to return to yelling, but decided he would stand directly behind me while doing it. Was terrifying...

For myself, I think I've learned my lesson...whatever that may be.

Cleaning up the car afterwards was the weird part. It felt like I was cleaning up after the Manson Family or something.

I ended up getting stung a bit later anyway, blech.

Just now, I was carrying a cup of coffee over from the machine to my couch. When I was halfway through, I felt a sneeze coming on that was too powerful to be stifled. The coffee was filled to the very brim of the cup. I could have quickly placed the cup on the floor, but instead I made a careful dash to the coffee table (a name for a piece of furniture that feels especially apt today). As I was getting near the table, the sneeze started, and my eyes closed. I hoped that I was hovering over the table by this point, and slammed down my cup, just in time. No damage was done. Then I saw that one of my goldfish had died.

This just happened AGAIN, minus the part about the goldfish dying. I guess I should install a conveyor belt going from the coffee machine to the living room, because it's too dangerous nowadays. Alternatively, I could put a lid on my coffee, stay only in the kitchen while drinking coffee, stop filling my coffee cup to the very brim, or stop drinking coffee altogether.

Not filling your cup to the very brim would probably do it. The story's a lot less exciting without the goldfish, though.

something like this has happened to me, except some of the coffee was already in my mouth when the sneeze came on. i managed through great effort not to spray the coffee all over the cubicle wall, but stifling a sneeze with a mouthful of hot coffee is a feat i do not wish to try again.

Oh man, coffee sneeze. That is the worst.

I feel like my upstairs neighbor has a lot of terrifying moments in everyday life. Every time I unexpectedly run into him outside, like if he's walking to his car or taking out the trash, he tenses up, shutters, gets knocked off of his step, struggles through a "h-h-hi...." and then gets the fuck OUT of there.

washing dishes after christmas dinner @ mom's, picked up a stack of plates and the heavy + super-sharp knife used to carve the turkey fell off the countertop & just missed landing on my hand.. about a minute later i was like, d'oh, that could have been bad.

A few years ago, I was crossing the street with with a friend. I looked just before stepping out and held back because a car was coming. My friend didn't, started to step out, realised just in time what was about to happen, the car brushed right past him without stopping. No damage done, but he was talking and laughing at a mile a minute on the adrenaline rush, something like "HAHAHAHAHAA oh shit I nearly got killed there! HAHAHA WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! didya see that? OMFG!!! HAHAHA!"

lol

oh that reminds me, couple of years ago i nearly got blindsided by a speeding car crossing a street @ jardin de luxembourg. i didn't realize it was a two way but the guy crossing the street in front of me stopped walking, so i stopped sort of reflexively, and the car flew by from the other direction - i got dust on my fingertips from the roof passing right under my hand. that one could have really been bad.

I was once stopped at a red light at a four-lane intersection. I was in the outside lane and some dumb ass Dodge Tahoe Hummer F-1500000 SUV was in the inside lane. Our light turned green, but all I could see to my left was this guy's passenger door handle about eight feet above my head. In about the time it took me to consider this (about the same amount of time it takes to read that last sentence), this other car just flew through the intersection at 75 mph an hour, through his now-red light.

In other words, if I had just gone ahead and gone through the intersection on my green light instead of getting pissed off at the SUV, I would've been T-boned. In which case, I would've still been pissed at the SUV for blocking my view.

A couple weeks ago, a cab came racing through a turn and nearly hit me -- the guy didn't notice and brake (in fresh icy snow!) until the last moment, and the bumper stopped about a yard from my knees. What was agonizing about this was that the cabbie just waved and nodded in an "oops, sorry" way, whereas I was inclined to attack and strangle him. I mean, I know nothing actually happened, but I think almost hitting someone with a car calls for something beyond a non-verbal "my bad" gesture.

(Note: normally I would have been able to run out of the cab's path when I noticed it wasn't slowing down, but I was ankle deep in slush and ice, and somehow it seemed more dangerous to try running, slip, and wind up sprawled on the ground with a cab driving obliviously over me.)

lol nabisco, my wife did something similar in our car to a drunk man staggering across the street, only she stopped a good 10 feet away from him and he didn't notice the car until he turned around and leaped comically into the air, arms flailing and eyes bugging out while shouting "HOLY SHIT! FUCK!"

Our light turned green, but all I could see to my left was this guy's passenger door handle about eight feet above my head. In about the time it took me to consider this (about the same amount of time it takes to read that last sentence), this other car just flew through the intersection at 75 mph an hour, through his now-red light.

In other words, if I had just gone ahead and gone through the intersection on my green light instead of getting pissed off at the SUV, I would've been T-boned. In which case, I would've still been pissed at the SUV for blocking my view.

― өөө (Pleasant Plains), Monday, January 5, 2009 11:34 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is standard arkansas driving by the way. stop isnt red its more red plus slow 1-2-3-4 count.

lol, I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas a few weeks back and we were sitting at an intersection when we got lightly bonked by a car behind us, then saw a pickup a few cars behind that rip around the accident, then drive at a ridic speed waaaay up on the sidewalk, then back on the road, careening toward certain doom. I guess it was a hit and run. It was terrifying and I hope this isn't standard Arkansas driving.

V STANDARD PREPARE FOR DEATH SERIOUSLY

- i'm up in my room on the second floor, kitchen is downstairs
- i'm really hungry
- about 2 hours ago, roommate started having a bit of a serious fight with her bf downstairs by the kitchen. sounds like a potential end of the relationship kind of fight. i figured it would be really awkward to go downstairs at that moment, so i held off on making dinner.
- they're still fighting, more intensely now, and now i'm really, really hungry and i still can't figure out how to get downstairs to eat.
- why is this so hard

dial a pizza?

i know i should just go down there. but i can kind of predict that they'll just sit down there in silence, mid-argument, fuming with each other but pretending to read a book, for 10-20 minutes while i bumble around the kitchen, and it will be a nightmare.

be kind to your stomach and take the plunge. they will not harm you.

i finally went down there, and realized that they were in their bedroom upstairs, with the door closed, the entire time.

is the capability to worry oneself to death with absolutely zero cause a uniquely human characteristic?

oh god I am this all the time

Getting lost in Baltimore, MD after sundown. A 10 minute trip back to the hotel turned into a four hour excursion through locations from The Wire. Cell had died, no gps.

I would have called for a pizza and told the driver "throw pebbles at the second floor window facing northeast, bring a grappling hook"

"They're role playing a couple breaking up - it's a sex fantasy thing, just keep ringing the bell and shouting 'Here's you're extra pepperoni!'."

Also they're into misuse of your/you're.

lol snoball

Actually that reminds me of the time that I was drunk and standing outside underneath the second floor window of a friend's ex-boyfriend, in the middle of the night, chanting "You've got a small pe-nis!".

is the capability to worry oneself to death with absolutely zero cause a uniquely human characteristic?

don't "dell-ize" your life, be real

but yeah, having to be around ppl fighting always makes me feel uncomfortable. like the joke "oh mom and dad are fighting again..." lends legitimacy, b/c in all honesty that was a really disturbing part of my childhood.

i think i largely hate conflict to this day b/c my parents were so bad at it??

same thing here

me too. It makes me really panicky, like either I'm going to get in trouble/yelled at myself, or someone else is going to get hurt. It's an awful feeling.

yeah in some ways my greatest goal in life up to this point has been "don't get yelled at"

which hasn't worked out so well. so time to re-strategize i guess

but some people are addicted to yelling, which i can kind of get.

I even get panicky if I find myself in interwebs arguments. :/

I think it's why I like fake-shouting in the IA thread...so I can be shouty about *something*

ha, sure.

but i feel it makes me "bad" at real life.

like part of the description of being an adult is that you can voice your grievances, but without making ad hominem attacks or similar. that is still so difficult for me. in my case sadly i think it tends to overboil in some passive-aggressive sense.

me being in any position where someone is judging me (whether its a performance or work or whatever).

I fear failure more than death. anybody can die.

aren't you an actor? would think it would come easy

I am, but it took me a while to get used to it, and even longer to get good at it. It's a hobby (I have had way more paying singing gigs than acting), and I'm more of a journeyman character actor than the type who can carry a play on his back. Still get large roles, but I'm never "the" guy...not only do I not have the look, I couldn't handle the pressure.

Most in the acting profession, whether they admit it or not, are extremely self-conscious - the difference is the level of concentration and removal of outside distractions each one has. When I was more confident a few years ago (ie, life was moving slower), I was able to shut outside stimuli out. Lately, it's been harder.

(of 14 years doing it, I'd only say about 7 have been quality years)

ah, thanks, that's interesting

i have tended to think actors are a weird breed. they appear to feel most comfortable not being "themselves", which i can totally relate to.

oh totally. most actors/actresses are certifiably nuts. you almost HAVE to be.

i want that job.

i prefer the normalcy of my actual day job lol

jobs are weird. people spend more waking hours at work then they do with their significant others. most people don't feel comfortable with themselves when it comes down to it. so they rush into terrible relationships and terrible jobs. i've done both. many times over. i'm not the kind of person, who when retirement age approaches, feels bored and needs to offer out their services as a consultant or whatever. i am happy doing nothing.

i definitely work to live rather than live to work.

sometimes i wish i could be in the latter category.

but basically i want to be immune to ppl yelling at me and judging me.

work's actually the one place I have a spine, mostly cuz I've been very successful the last 7 years and I know how to document everything I do to prevent getting sandbagged.

that's really cool

it's just a foreign world to me at this point

that moment where you're not sure if the toilet is going to overflow or not.

hahahahahaha

totally. that one moment is the diff between an hour of gross cleanup

This must be more of a problem in the US, where the normal level of water in a toilet is much higher up the bowl. So I've heard anyway. In the UK, the water level is much lower, so there's plenty of margin for error in flushing - you know when you're going to have to grab the toilet brush.

And actually I think that the amount of water in the average UK cistern is about equal to the unused volume of the bowl 'at rest'. So overflow is never really a danger.

curious to see what the response is when the toilet begins to overflow. do you flee the room and come back in to assess the damage moments later, wanting to flee the doodoo water...or do you stay in there and ruthlessly beat the toilet hoping it will stop overflowing.

"flee the doodoo" sounds like some kind of 1950s dance craze

irl lols

I had one of these today. I was riding my scooter around and some guys in an '80s SUV started tailgating me and honking and yelling out the window. It was a ridiculously jacked up rig, 4 or 6 feet off the ground, with comedy oversized tires. Not really sure why they did it but I pulled into a parking lot to avoid them. I parked and as I was walking into a coffee shop they drove by and yelled, "DID WE SCARE YOU??" I said, "You shouldn't be honking at strangers" as I walked in the building. They parked right outside and honked over and over until someone from the shop asked them to stop. But they stayed parked out there for well over an hour, just sitting in their ridiculous vehicle, and I was too afraid to leave until they were gone. They were some seriously big, muscular dudes. The physical power imbalance between me/them and between my vehicle/theirs, and the general insanity of their behavior, really had me freaked out for most of the afternoon.

:(

on the plus side, you just spared the rest of humanity any interaction with these meat machines for over an hour! *hat tip*

fire alarm went off in my building at like 3 or 4 am yesterday, this has been happening too often lately. Went outside and like only one other person who lives here was out there, I mean yeah there have been a bunch of false alarms, but the first time the alarm went off the building was actually on fire so I usually only stay in bed for a few mins if it wakes me up. Anyway, this whole thing made me realize that because my cats are so afraid of loud noises, if they hide during a fire because of the alarm, and if the fire is real and pressing and if I have to get out of the building, I'm going to have to leave my cats in the apt to die

btw when I said, the first time the alarm went off, the building was actually on fire, part is obv since I've lived here

that sounds awful, abbbottt. like a nightmare.

i had a terrifying moment in everyday life last night. i was at a movie (Norwegian Wood) and when the "let's all go to the lobby" song started playing, i felt the urge to purchase raisinettes. as i waited in line, i heard some tall asshole talk a bunch about how drunk he was going to get during the movie (the theater sold alcohol) and generally just being an ass. i made a mental note that i haven't quite repressed my misanthropic tendencies.

then, he turned to me and said "do you mind if we cut in front of you, our movie is about to start". normally, i'm all about laying down and letting people run all over me, but this time i shook my head no and said "i'll be really quick, i'm just buying raisinettes" because:

a) there were 4 of them that wanted to cut in front of lonesome me, which is the exact opposite situation of a normal cut-in-line incident
b) i was just buying raisinettes and i knew it would only take 15 seconds
c) the guy was such an asshole and i kind of hated him already for some reason

well, he went passive aggressive ballistic. he loudly said "really? really??" in that SNL weekend update style that is probably my biggest pet peeve in the entire universe, as he appealed to the others in his group and the people around him. to defuse the situation, i asked him which film he was going to see. Norwegian Wood, he says. yeah, me too, i say. and i add that the previews just started, and there's plenty of time. then he takes this wise guy attitude and starts asking if murakami is my favorite answer, that kind of bullshit. his gf said that was his favorite author, and then he corrected her that now "Cormac" was his favorite author. so i said yeah, i like Cormac McCarthy too.

"OH YEAH??" he bellows in response. "DO YOU LIKE VIOLENCE???"

it's tough to explain how this interaction was so confrontational, but i'll just add that by this point his girlfriend had already told him to "stop" about 4 or 5 times.

to cut down on the tl;dr i'll just summarize that he started going into aggro mode and i didn't know what to do except ignore him, buy my raisinettes and get the hell out of there as he was going on and on (very loudly) about how dumb it was that i had never Norwegian Wood but i was watching the movie. as i walked away i said "enjoy the film" and he said "NEXT TIME READ THE BOOK BEFORE YOU SEE THE MOVIE"

hahah what a douchecanoe.

so did he ruin the movie or was that the extent of his doucheiness?

i'll just add that by this point his girlfriend had already told him to "stop" about 4 or 5 times

This poor woman must be miserable in so many ways it would be difficult to count them all.

i haven't quite repressed my misanthropic tendencies.

This sort of situation breeds such thoughts, like maggots in a dead cow. Best try to distill those feelings into a pure, crystalline sadness.

also I would have been terrified

Best try to distill those feelings into a pure, crystalline sadness.

ha, i successfully achieved that this morning when i received an email from my ex that indicated that she's happier now than she has been in several years. yay!

but no, VGrrrrrl, he didn't ruin the rest of the movie. however, i did ruin half of the movie for myself by doing the george costanza thing where you spend a bunch of time thinking of what you SHOULD have said during the confrontation, instead of just forgetting about it and enjoying life.

I do that all the time, Z S. In fact, sometimes it's worse, like when I am driving to work and I know I'm about to tell someone something they aren't going to like, so I play the entire argument out in my head, blow by blow, and start to get visibly angry when the person starts to criticize my work and reject the facts/data I've provided, and suddenly I have to stop myself in the car and remember the argument I'm getting angry about has yet to happen.

Abbbotts, that's really completely horrible and truly terrifying. How in the world does that even HAPPEN? I guess I'm privileged not to understand how such a thing could happen to a person in public, it seems like something out of a war zone. I'm really sorry those men harassed you and were so aggressive.

The ones who chased me last weekend were just teenagers having a laugh, being obnoxious, I didn't actually feel any fear as one ran up to my bike. In fact, my brain was thinking, "I wonder what will happen next?" in an unsettlingly calm way.

sounds to me like you handled it exceedingly well but yeah, if someone asks me if they can cut in front of me, they're going to get a "fuck no" with an i-hate-you-so-much tremble in my voice right out of the gate. xxpost

xp Actually what happened was that I yelled, "Did you really need to be a dick tonight? Go home." and he stopped chasing me and I rode away.

How in the world does that even HAPPEN?

as terrible as it is, the Dudes in a Car phenomenon does happen. where i grew up, it was pretty much understood that every month or two someone would drive by and scream "FAGGOT!!!" at you. but following you into a parking lot and hanging out for an hour while you're inside...that's kind of fucked up.

Dudes Yelling Terrible Things in a Car phenomenon, i should say. the mere Dudes in a Car phenomenon is way more common, and is probably happening right now!

where i grew up, it was pretty much understood that every month or two someone would drive by and scream "FAGGOT!!!" at you.

this happened to me a few months ago. it seemed almost quaint, like i kinda couldn't believe that ppl still do that

however, i did ruin half of the movie for myself by doing the george costanza thing where you spend a bunch of time thinking of what you SHOULD have said during the confrontation, instead of just forgetting about it and enjoying life.

― your pain is probably equal (Z S), Sunday, January 15, 2012 1:17 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier

I have friends that are SOOOOOOOO GOOD at confrontation, like when someone is mad at them they think it's funny. I'll never be one of those people but I'm working on seeing other people's anger as their problem, not mine, way more often.

seeing other people's anger as their problem, not mine

yeah, about 45 minutes into the movie i had settled on some imagined cutting response that would have made the point that while he might think of himself as courageous he's clearly a coward, and i feel sorry for him and his gf.

then in alternative imaginary lobby universe i rip off my shirt and all these babes gather around as i make muscles

Abbott that is especially bad b/c it makes no sense. It's not like road rage or picking on someone with a specific motive.

Dudes Yelling Terrible Things in a Car is definitely a thing, especially in rural areas. And Dudes Yelling FAGGOTT!! from a Car is one of the classic variations.

Also: ha, i successfully achieved that this morning when i received an email from my ex that indicated that she's happier now than she has been in several years. yay!

Wow.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier

with all due respect, dayo, this is referred to as the george constanza thing where you spend a bunch of time thinking of what you SHOULD have said during the confrontation, not L'esprit de l'escalier.

it seemed almost quaint, like i kinda couldn't believe that ppl still do that

Yes! I know what you mean! I hadn't been called a faggot since high school (except by my friends) until a visit to Chicago in 2004 when some drunk d-bags in front of a bar called me that. I was not too upset, mostly I thought how strange!

That never happened to me in a rural area! Urban biking experiences have featured 100x more annoying people.

abbs your story sounds, as someone said, like a complete nightmare. i'd have called the cops

ZS, your story, otoh, sounds like the kind of scene i live for. argue nonsense with strangers every day imo.

wow laurel/abbott, public dick behavior like that is abhorrent and should be punishable by guillotine.

I do agree that Dick in the Car thing happens sometimes without reason. One time I was at a Taco Bell drive thru, orderin up a combo, when this truck pulls up behind me in the drivethru, and for no reason whatsoever, begins honking at me repeatedly.

Being the needless-escalator that I am, I of course flipped them off, so they laid on the horn. Then I realized they weren't even in the drive thru line. They waited for me to leave, then followed me...at very high speed, down a neighborhood road. I hit 65 at one point and the speed limit was 35.

Tried to lose em by faking a left only to jump back in the center lane (to test that they truly were chasing me), and sure enough they followed suit. I was near my best friend's neighborhood, so I dove into the neighborhood driving at about 60 mph and lost them by speeding around the corners.

My brother once in Miami also was alone in a bad part of town at night and a bunch of kids on bicycles started screaming "HEY WHITE BOY" at him and following at him and chased him down the street.

feeling safe on the street should be a guaranteed right!

ZS, your story is nuts. I guess I had all sorts of preconceived notions about ardent Murakami fans in the U.S. –– but traits on that list did not include entitled about line placement, aggro, and bossy. And really the only movie people should brag about getting drunk during is "Legend of the Guardians: THe Owls of Ga'Hoole."

Then I realized they weren't even in the drive thru line.

if they were behind you, then what lane were they in? what lane were you in?

thank u z for confirming hm is the cormac mccarthy of japan

This poor woman must be miserable in so many ways it would be difficult to count them all.

That guy is a total twerp and she knows it and has to defuse his BS at least 3x a week. lol @ him.

unfortunately being dicks to strangers is a time-honored American tradition

I'm hazy on the details. I THINK what it was was that I was in the drive thru, and they were behind me, but off to the side. IE, the lane besides the drive thru, just sitting and idling. xxxpost

ZS, your story, otoh, sounds like the kind of scene i live for. argue nonsense with strangers every day imo.

For sure! I half-joke that I have a Napoleon complex (I'm 5'6") that leads me to engage in confrontation. Jenny dubbed the phenomenon of me going into confrontation mode "getting puffed up" b/c she compares it with a bulldog standing its ground.

If you remember the pilot ep of 30 Rock, it begins with Liz Lemon standing up to a bully at a hot dog cart who cut in line and claimed there were two lines. Everybody else either let it go or joined the guy's new line, but she yelled at him and then bought all of the hot dogs to give to the "good people." I really identify with that! When I hear about gay bashing or verbal abuse, I wish I could be there to say something.

So far I haven't had my ass handed to me, but probably someday.

Also this made me lol REALLY HARD:

Dudes Yelling Terrible Things in a Car phenomenon, i should say. the mere Dudes in a Car phenomenon is way more common, and is probably happening right now!

N'thal, what do you think would have happened if you hadn't sped up to avoid them? Would they have hit you? The whole chase thing depends on your fear, right?

I wonder if you drove to a courthouse or police station, how that would resolve.

i imagine murakami psycho as the postcollegiate verzh of bob's brother in bottle rocket

lol, futureman otm

"Do you like violence?"
That is some dbag art right there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9MNaD3iA90

This poor woman must be miserable in so many ways it would be difficult to count them all.

That guy is a total twerp and she knows it and has to defuse his BS at least 3x a week. lol @ him.

― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel),

lol @ both of em tbf

thanks to this thread, i'm gonna check out Legend of the Guardians: THe Owls of Ga'Hoole from my local library today!

YES!

I had a crush on this one girl and suggested we get drunk on hitachino owl beer and go watch legends of the guardian: the owls of ga'hoole together, but she wasn't interested, guess that was a sign it just wasn't ~meant to be~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-egpXKwZlE

idk what this film is posting for yt still strig4lyfe

did ppl commem it w/ goole parody dns

Being the needless-escalator that I am, I of course flipped them off, so they laid on the horn. Then I realized they weren't even in the drive thru line. They waited for me to leave, then followed me...at very high speed, down a neighborhood road. I hit 65 at one point and the speed limit was 35.

That's fucking terrifying and infuriating.

I've taken to smiling, waving, and giving a thumbs-up to drivers whom I would normally flip off. It's kind of hilarious to see their expression go from douchey rage to douchey utter confusion ("Do...do I know that guy?")

I had a crush on this one girl and suggested we get drunk on hitachino owl beer and go watch legends of the guardian: the owls of ga'hoole together, but she wasn't interested, guess that was a sign it just wasn't ~meant to be~

OK this girl threw the opportunity of a lifetime away.

That is seriously the #1 best date idea I have ever heard

their beers are v. delicious

i dunno - the glory hole date is still #1 in my books.

xpost

Abbbotttm

u cld have introduced other owl related stuff tho

favourite album vs owl city

http://i.imgur.com/1aAvZ.jpg

Awwww cuet owl date! Was good idea in all ways. I wd probably end up shushing my date and trying to pay more attention to the movie tbh.

to wit, to woo would be unlikely in such circumstances

hah

give her your no 282820

Was working for a week in our head office once, and was cycling in. There was only one shower in the offices (which were split over two levels), and that was the Managing Director's. However, I had to be in earlier than everyone else, and so had the office to myself for about an hour.

So I thought, "Sod this, I'll just go and use that shower, no one need ever know."

There was a sort of ante-chamber, where you got changed, and then you'd go into the shower, open the glass door, step in and have the shower. So I did this, only to find I couldn't get it warm, it just started luke warm and rapidly got cold, whereupon I shouted 'Ah for fuck's sake', jumped back a bit, hit the glass door with my elbow, which proceed to come askew of its moorings and gradually, in filmic slow motion, start to come completely out of its frame and fall outward towards the hard bathroom floor. With a certain nimble alacrity and with an exclamation of 'Oh holy shit' and managed to grasp it by hugging it bodily, which urgent motion, what with the shower still going caused my feet to slip. I saved myself by taking a massive stride forward, and then proceeded to nekkidly stagger round the shower booth with this shower door.

Stability was achieved. But a problem became apparent when I tried to fix it with some degree of permanence to its frame. I couldn't seem to fit it back in, and every time I had, it started toppling slowly out again, at one time doing so when I thought it was ok, and was cautiously edging back to where my towel and clothes were. I can't quite recall the exact logistics, but I think the problem was that the actual shower well was smaller in width than the shower door, which meant I couldn't even lean it up, so it needed my constant support to prevent it smashing to the floor.

It was at that point that I heard someone come into the office and cheerily shout "Morning!" Crisis. I was still naked in the MD's private shower room, grasping a shower door to myself. I stayed very very still, and then heard the voice say to itself 'Hmmm, no one bloody in', which represented a piece of double fortune, as not only had there been no further exploration of the office, but I recognised the voice of our HR manager, who worked on the upper floor, and who presumably be heading that way soon.

Once I'd heard the door shut, I hit on plan B. (Plan A - making it look like nothing had happened - having fallen through). Plan B was to take the shower door into the ante-chamber changing room, wedge it behind the small bench placed there to be enable you to put your shoes and socks on, get dried, get dressed, sneak upstairs and if anyone should ask me whether I knew what had happened with the shower door, lie.

This I did pretty quickly. There was only a brief, pulse-raising coda, which was when the self-same HR manager asked me later in the day 'Do you know what happened to M's shower door?' whereupon I did the same face I did when being challenged by Italian passport control the time I travelled to Genoa on my brother's passport, and he challenged me with an astonished 'Ees you?', which was one of rather egregious incredulity, at the same time as saying 'Shower door?' in a rather high-pitched voice. It worked, since she had already been half-mystified by the incident, and I heard no more of it. I certainly didn't attempt to have a shower in there again though.

So it was you who broke my shower door!

Ah fuck, I knew I should have joined 77.

Oh, you're a revoltingly smarmy, crooked piece of shit, by the way.

wellesclap

Noticed my thumb and forefinger had what appeared to be a light coat of tacky but fresh, bright red blood on them. Checked for hangnails, looked at my arms, then remembered: I had peed a few minutes before! Ripped open my pants, pawed around, and was relieved to find everything in order.

The worst terror behind me, I checked my scalp, face, and ear canals before I remembered that I had munched on "Dinamitas," a new Doritos product whose artificially colored cheez coating is the color of fresh blood.

a few weeks ago, for client visit, we went to dinner. had wine with dinner, about 4 glasses, and the food had been coming frequently all day...breakfast, lunch, snacks...and at dinner, foolishly ate a heavy appetizer, soup, and then a huge dinner, which I kept eating even after passing the full stage.

Between the wine and the food, felt woozy, and started nodding off. Awoke to the unpleasant sensation of vomit flooding into my mouth and nearly started choking, by coughing a little I managed to clear my airway. That close to Jimi Hendrixing (ok not really, but still).

I've choked for reals twice and it's the scariest thing. First time, minister of local church gave me the Heimlich. Second time, my dad just punched me in the stomach.

Je55e: irl lols

Bo: oh god that sounds terrifying. Glad to have you with us :)

lol doubt I was in any real danger, but thanks! may have been bile reflux.

for whatever reason any time I have a heart palpitation I always check my pulse for like 5 minutes afterward.

I don't live in a great part of town (but it's not exactly like a bad part of town either, kinda just like one you need to be careful in). so as I pull up to a light I notice the dude in the car next to me is flipping the fuck out at someone behind him (I couldn't tell why), exiting his car and gesturing maniacally. At first I thought he was screaming at the girl in the car behind him, but then this other guy in the car two back gets out and starts yelling back at the dude, and the instigator starts inviting him to fight.

He encroached on him and it looked like shit was about to get ugly in the middle of the street (and who knows who had what weapons on em) but thankfully dude in the car two back retreated and went back into his car....with other dude still egging him on.

No other post will top the first.

xpost oh yeah and there was this one time in the slums of Tallahassee back 12 years ago, in the midst of a bad bout of depression my first year of college, and I'm walking down the road to the bus stop. "Walk" sign lights up so I start crossing the street but I'm walking slower than usual, and this dickhead driving a beatup red car starts turning at the green light and instead of wanting to yield to me as he's required to, honks his horn and screams "GET THE FUCK OUT THE ROAD!".

Again, being the type that escalates without reason, and because I was just not feeling life and just didn't care, I flipped him the bird, only to watch him bring his car to a screeching halt and yell "WHAT??!!!!!". then I took of running, but he was apparently bluffing as he just drove away.

true dat

lol "WHAT??!!" at getting a finger gesture

it was kinda cartoonish the way he said it, kinda think maybe Lil Jon was rolling around in 'Hassee that day, heard it, and jacked it for his own

Then I saw that one of my goldfish had died.

Appending this to any old random story needs to catch on as a meme.

Noticed my thumb and forefinger had what appeared to be a light coat of tacky but fresh, bright red blood on them. Checked for hangnails, looked at my arms, then remembered: I had peed a few minutes before! Ripped open my pants, pawed around, and was relieved to find everything in order.

and then i got off the bus.

lol

really the dead goldfish thing would work well at that point, too.

that moment when you're at the theater and the movie ends. the screen fades to black and the credits roll, and no one has started talking or moving yet. for some reason i just want to EXPLODE at that moment, get me the fuck out of there

But there may be something after the credits!

i think i just fear the small talk and glances that are about to arrive. the standing up, waiting to get out of the aisle, the situation where one of the people you're with wants to watch all of the credits and you have to sit back down, the little grunts and nods you find yourself doing to indicate that you'll go left or right.

The fear of the imminent "so... what did you think?" gambit.

definitely. will it come as you're walking toward the lobby? on the train home? will you find yourself saying it, in the absence of anyone else saying it?

all of that means that when the screen fades to black, even though it's no one's fault, even though i participate it in myself, i still want knock over the elderly and shove children out of the way, bust out of the emergency exit door and just get the fuck out of there

perhaps all movie theater seats should be ejection-enabled

...so what did you think of the-FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHhttp://i47.tinypic.com/2ez1a10.jpg

the three seconds where potatoes transubstatiate from too hard to mash to slush

This is very simple. Just shout "I HAVE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHOEA!!!" and run for the exit. You will not be stopped.

but that's already my default calling into work sick email text. i can't start using it at the theater too, people are going to wonder

eh i dunno i'd normally be keepin an eye on other pots and stuff too

"Gedouttathaway! I've got mashed potatoes and gravy in my trouser-wowsers!"

art films are the worst! it's waiting for the inevitable "well, you can see how he's referring to the 19th century habit of externalizing..." and over-pronunciation of the foreign director's name spoken at slightly louder volume than needed, as said by some stinky film major.

There are other approaches that can be taken with foreign films...
http://homepage.tinet.ie/~cubs/pics/protest.gif

I was at the gym tonight, stretching in the unoccupied pilates room. When I walked out, all the lights were out. I looked over the balcony and the main floor was completely empty, even though there were maybe 20 people down there just a few minutes before. The gym normally closes at 11:00, but it was 8:00 and the music was off and the gate to the elevators was closed, so I stood at the rail wondering if I'd passed out for a long time. Downstairs I saw that the whirlpool, pool, and juice bar were all dark and empty.

It had been a strenuous workout, and my high blood pressure medicine sometimes makes me really dizzy, so I tried to remember exactly what had happened since I went into the pilates room, and debated making an appointment with my doctor vs. going to the ER. As it happens, though, the gym closes early on Sundays, and the patrons obviously don't linger. The feeling of surreality is sticking with me.

the other night I was sleeping on a friend's living room floor, and when I woke there was that short period when I was assuming I was at home. So noticing an early riser standing a couple of feet away from me brought on a moment of utter terror before my head realigned and I realised that yes, it's a reasonable state of affairs for someone to be in the room with me right now.

I was cycling down a rather fast busy road at 11.59pm last night and just as the clocks hit midnight, all the streetlights went out (austerity initiative). Freaked out for a second before I realised I hadn't gone blind.

Reading some of this, I guess not much phases me. I mean, I grew up with heroin dealers down the street from me! I guess my standards are low.

But earlier this year when I woke up with diminished vision in one eye, I freaked out like I never have before!! I didn't speak to my family for months because I get too emotional about my vision! I'm recovering but I still freak out in the morning.

Yikes. Vision stuff scares me too.

"Hello, I'm not at my desk right now, so please leave a message after the beep. ... .... ...."

and then there's no beep.

I just reacted to this terrifying moment by waiting 10 seconds, saying "uh...I...", laughing a snortish giggle, and then hanging up.

!!!!

Deja vu with the comment that started this thread: my knee hurts and I stink of fake chicken having sneezed and spilled boiling hot instant noodles all down me.

Student days, post-coital laziness/complacency had me downstairs completely naked making two bowls of cornflakes in the middle of the day when a new flatmate walked in the front door. Luckily, french doors into the sitting room allowed me to sneak cartoon-chase style in and around her while she was in the corridor, tho she would obv have heard me flying up the stairs behind her and possibly thought me demented.

The lady in question never got her cornflakes iirc.

folding laundry, almost sat on a wine bottle sitting neck up in the recycling can

the OP scenario happened again (minus the goldfish dying)

i drink a lot of coffee and probably sneeze more than the average person, so this particular kind of terrifying scenario is seems more likely to happen with me than others

you should consider using a travel mug even at home

i could also learn not to fill the cup up so high. i guess i just have to live on the edge, you know

seriously, get a keep cup

oh man, i hate when this happens.

This just happened AGAIN, minus the part about the goldfish dying. I guess I should install a conveyor belt going from the coffee machine to the living room, because it's too dangerous nowadays. Alternatively, I could put a lid on my coffee, stay only in the kitchen while drinking coffee, stop filling my coffee cup to the very brim, or stop drinking coffee altogether.

― "80s Baby" (Z S), Monday, January 5, 2009 10:35 AM (eight years ago)

I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING

in 8 years it seems i have stopped trying to come up with solutions and have instead turned to blaming the situation on a confluence of factors that are sometimes out of my control

This just happened AGAIN, minus the part about the goldfish dying. I guess I should install a conveyor belt going from the coffee machine to the living room, because it's too dangerous nowadays. Alternatively, I could put a lid on my coffee, stay only in the kitchen while drinking coffee, stop filling my coffee cup to the very brim, or stop drinking coffee altogether.

― "80s Baby" (Z S), Monday, January 5, 2009 10:35 AM (eight years ago)

I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, July 25, 2017 10:44 AM (three years ago)

just happened again!!!

i refuse to put a lid on my coffee at home

it just happened again

i would like to propose a "Moonshot" initiative: cure sneezing

This happened to me like three times yesterday. Feel for you.

I hope no goldfish died??

all of my goldfish are dead, it happened years ago, many cups ago

why, those goldfish went straight down the toilet a long time ago. just like the coffee!! *winks at uncomfortable 8-year-old child*

i hope you didn't pee directly on the goldfish, seems disrespectful. but then again, they're dead, and you don't want to waste water. conundrum.

as a lifelong user of men's restrooms, i understand that it is my responsibility to pee all over any bathroom i use. there must always be mysterious pools of liquid all around the floors and discolored stains on the walls

if I have a full, pressurized bladder, I will attempt some gratis power washing

i just kind of "went for it" and said "two thumbs up - way up!" on a conference call and no one laughed

I broke out the Ham Horn app during an all-hands meeting and was like ohhh nooo but people thought it was hilarious so everything was OK

i'm telling myself that someone out there was liking it, but they were on mute.

sometimes when i'm on the other side of that equation, i do a little audible laugh and briefly unmute myself when they're near the end of the riff, just to signal that it was kinda funny

three years pass...
This just happened AGAIN, minus the part about the goldfish dying. I guess I should install a conveyor belt going from the coffee machine to the living room, because it's too dangerous nowadays. Alternatively, I could put a lid on my coffee, stay only in the kitchen while drinking coffee, stop filling my coffee cup to the very brim, or stop drinking coffee altogether.

― "80s Baby" (Z S), Monday, January 5, 2009 10:35 AM (eight years ago)

I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, July 25, 2017 10:44 AM (three years ago)

just happened again!!!

― The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Sunday, August 16, 2020 11:54 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

i refuse to put a lid on my coffee at home

― The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Sunday, August 16, 2020 11:55 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

two weeks pass...
it just happened again

― The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Tuesday, September 1, 2020 10:35 AM (one year ago)

it just happened again

woke up one night to the sound of a kitty scrabbling about in my room, a fairly common occurrence. i put my hand out of the bed and pspsps-ed and waited for the familiar fluffiness to rub up against my fingers, but all went silent and still. that was unusual; all my cats at the time were enthusiastic cuddlers who could never resist an offer of scritchin’. i awoke more fully and listened, intent. no sounds at all? weird. my mind immediately leapt to some sort of incursion by a nocturnal squirrel, or a bat? something rabid? oh god, maybe a tiny monster or alien was creeping silently in the darkness, getting closer and closer to my hand! i was too scared to move.

i was saved by an inquiring “mrrr?” outside the door which broke the spooky spell. torvald! my lanky maine coon mix <3<3<3 he must have heard my catcall and come to investigate. relieved, i hopped out of bed and to the door, opening it wide for my savior. he blinked lazily up at me in the dim light of the hall and began to saunter inside — then froze, his eyes fixed on something in the room behind me. i froze too, because holy shit what the hell oh god oh fuck what the christ is in there!? torvald slowly backed away, eyes never leaving whatever the fuck was lurking in the depths of my room. i frantically debated whether to quietly creep out after him or turn on the light and end this madness; bravery won out. i hit the switch. there was another scrabbling sound behind me, then silence. i slowly turned, shaking. one of the goddamn fish had jumped out of the tank.

i dreamed a swarm of bees was about to sting me and in the dream I was trying to evade the bees and this caused me to roll out of my bed for real and smack my cheek into the hard oak dresser

pro: you managed to escape the bloodthirsty dream bees! con: ouch 😖

I do this all the time when I am sleeping in a bed that isn't pushed up against a wall

it just happened again. the coffee is still swirling in the cup! i'm laying across my couch in classic sideways L formation with my laptop on my lap's top. i just aeropressed a cup of piping hot coffee, filled to the brim, and i was about to enjoy a sip here on the couch when the familiar sudden appearance of a violent sneeze came out of nowhere. about 1.5 seconds of time passed between the first sense of it and the explosion, but i barely managed to get the mug back on the table and let go before my head went flying

STOP FILLING YOUR CUP TO THE BRIM

...think of how much time, cumulatively, that i have saved by not being able to sit and enjoy my coffee a little bit more than the usual person before going to get a refill.

KARL

i don't want to review all the posts i've made about this same issue, but at this point in time, i currently believe that i have never spilled a drop of coffee due to a sneeze. i have gotten coffee all over the place, repeatedly, constantly, for other reasons. but i don't think that the sneeze nightmare has come to pass, not in full

the sneeze nightmare has come to pass

(ominous music begins to play)

a bold prediction nostrildamnus

so much has changed over the last 10 years

https://i.imgur.com/madd8Sn.png

how you wandering hither and yon with a mouthful of toothpaste, is everyone doing this, should i be doing this

I'm guessing with toothbrush still in mouth, I had a roommate who did that

yep, i like to always be doing at least 2 things at once so i can't fully concentrate. when i'm brushing i'm also walking around doing mini-chores, putting things in the kitchen sink or loading up the dishwasher, tidying up a bit, or just petting my dog. everything is fine until a sneeze happens

some people brush their teeth in the shower, too. I can't even try that because I can't risk getting warm or soapy water in my mouth

lol I do the mobile teethbrushing thing all the time.

and I've sneezed toothpaste all over the mirror before.

so this speaks 2 me

I've sneezed toothpaste

!!!

ok, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but the terrifying thing i want to know is whether or not the toothpaste, in the course of the sneeze, went up through your nasal cavity and out your nose, and if so, if that burned or felt weird

because if the colgate package doesn't explicitly say that you shouldn't put it in your nose, i think we could have a class action opportunity

mine is - having to take a massive dump while driving in an unfamiliar city and seeing no gas stations around.

which happened in Chicago once.

I lived to fight another day.

but I almost did not

xxpost fortunately it just shot out my mouth and not through my nose, but I do think my nasal cavity needs a scrub so if it happen it happen

cos see the dump on deck, much like pee on deck, completely strips your ability to think

i'm gonna need $8000 in packaging and postage supplies to send every homeowner in this state a letter that asks them whether or not they have endured burning toothpaste pain in their noses as a result of colgate's arguably negligent lack of imagination

mine is - having to take a massive dump while driving in an unfamiliar city and seeing no gas stations around.

which happened in Chicago once.

I lived to fight another day.

but I almost did not

xxpost fortunately it just shot out my mouth and not through my nose, but I do think my nasal cavity needs a scrub so if it happen it happen

lol if you just delete "xxpost" from your post, it immediately gets even more terrifying

you should not be taking massive dumps back out your mouth, and i'm sure at least some of that DID get in your nasal cavity! just horrible, worst case scenario

welp guess which wikipedia article i’m not gonna link, it’s this one

oh wait, no, did i just… sorry.

it's ok, we've all seen that South Park episode

Urgently trying to find a usable public restroom in Chicago if you don't already know the lay of the land (and sometimes even if you do) truly is a terrifying moment.

it was my first time there. I had a bit of a photo finish as my phone was dead and I had no car charger.

i was at a woman's house and she pointed to a spot on the floor and said matter-of-factly "that's where my baby died last year" and i stammered out something like oh my god, i'm so sorry, i can't imagine how terrible that must have been, and she continued "he had a heart attack and was just gone" and i was trying to fit this together in my mind -- babies can have heart attacks? he must have had some kind of condition? -- but before i could embarrass myself too thoroughly it came out that her baby was a dog

it was a little bit socially terrifying for a minute there. what is the appropriate reaction to someone seeming blasé abt their dead child, and do you carefully walk around that spot on the floor, but it wasn't marked in any way, what if i accidentally walked on it and she started crying, is there a baby ghost here, is this lady's sublimated grief going to manifest itself in freaky ways, and if so should i try to be supportive or just gtfo

she was cool tho and if her dog was a ghost it was a very well behaved one.

it was a little bit socially terrifying for a minute there. what is the appropriate reaction to someone seeming blasé abt their dead child, and do you carefully walk around that spot on the floor, but it wasn't marked in any way, what if i accidentally walked on it and she started crying, is there a baby ghost here, is this lady's sublimated grief going to manifest itself in freaky ways, and if so should i try to be supportive or just gtfo

it's a tough one. i've dealt with it a lot - people who have been through unspeakably awful trauma bringing it up in casual conversation. i've done it myself sometimes, though i try not to. it's socially inappropriate behavior; it's known as "trauma dumping". i'm not saying that in terms of judging her. of course you're sympathetic. she's been through something that's probably more awful than you can imagine. you are of course going to feel uncomfortable, is the takeaway here.

the way i learned you're supposed to handle these things is to say "i'm sorry, that sounds awful to go through". there's not really anything else you can say about something like that.

i spose the correct response is to wonder to what extent someone who would say that to you in a way so clearly open to such misinterpretation was fucking with you and having made a determination on same govern future contact with them accordingly

mmmm, hard disagree on that, i feel like the best course of action is to assume that people mean what they say to you. that's a sufficient basis on which to determine future contact with them, i think!

"we lost gramps last week"

"oh no"

"sokay we found him again"

My dad seriously pulled this one on me in high school and I was pissed off for a week straight:

"I just wanted to be the first to let you know that your uncle passed today.." (knowing that I knew he had been with my uncle just hours earlier)

"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED"

"Calm down, the guy in front of us was just really slow"

"We lost dad today...we let go of the curly cord at the mall"

people do often drop statements related to trauma without sounding affected by it, often because the traumatic event is so far removed and they've expended an insane amount of grief to where they sound oddly disaffected when they speak of it. doesn't mean they ARE, just means they're kind of numb to what happened. I often find as well they often don't need consoling because in those cases sometimes it comes up in conversation like any other topic and it doesn't register to them how it will sound to an outside observer, who may want to shower them with consolation.

"I just wanted to be the first to let you know that your uncle passed today.." (knowing that I knew he had been with my uncle just hours earlier)

"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED"

"Calm down, the guy in front of us was just really slow"

― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0)

these days i find "he got gendered correctly" makes a better punchline

still a shitty thing to do, in that context

When I was in high school the girl who lived across the road got hit by a car after getting off the school bus and not looking for traffic when she came round the back of it to cross the road.

Apparently the local woman who hit her (was entirely an accident of course) went home and said to her son (one of my brother's mates) "oh, I ran into Anna today"
"oh ok how is she doing?" "No I ran into her, with my car. Her leg is broken".

lolol

should be a 'moments when real life resembles a sitcom' thread for these....I would read the fuck out of it

nothing anywhere near as serious, but I was hanging with the cast of Jesus Christ Superstar after a show. we went karaoking after, but my bestie had to leave early, and one of our mutual friends Alf0nso started singing Prince's "Kiss" and going nuts and everybody was eating it up.

I was trying to tell my bestie the day after "man, Alf0nso was doing BACKFLIPS after you left", and he got this hurt look on his face, and said "why?". I didn't get why so I was like "idk, he was drunk", and my friend was like "did I do something to upset him? why was he so happy that I left?" and I was like "NO YOU DUMBFUCK, HE WAS DOING LITERAL BACKFLIPS, LIKE HE DID THREE IN A ROW AND THE WOMEN WERE YELLING".

in detectorists, i think the first episode, toby jones is like "when i met jane... i won the lottery"

"that's sweet"

"no i mean i actually won the lottery. same day. it was mad"

i'm not saying that in terms of judging her. of course you're sympathetic.

Kate you did read the punchline that it turned out to be a dog?

Driving to work this morning, flat bed truck coming the other way. A bit of board about a metre square takes off in the breeze and flies towards me, fortunately managed to stop just before it hit my car.

Oi, the stuff of nightmares, that. Glad you were able to avoid the projectile!

Oh my God, Dan

Once, my dad, my then wife, and I were driving back from lunch on I-83 (we were living around York, PA at the time) - this was maybe around 2004 or 2005 - and a huge car carrier passed us on the left and a tire flew off and bounced off the hood/windshield. Dad admirably kept his minivan in the lane, and there was only a small dent on the hood, but we were SHOOK.

Weirdly it was in pretty much the same spot where a fortnight ago someone decided to overtake into my path. If anything that was scarier.

Xp something similar happened to us about 30 years ago when a bit of scrap metal fell into our path.Fortunately my wife spotted it and braked in good time.Needed a new radiator but was closest to a serious accident I’ve had. Aways wary of other vehicles now.

x-post - This happened to me in upstate NY while I was in college. Four of us drove to Seneca Falls for brunch and on the way back a tire from an 18 wheeler on the other side of the highway came off and flew right at the windshield of the car we were in. We were all deathly hungover but the driver managed to react and swerve. We wound up in a ditch and the tire hit the driver's side windows and doors. The windows shattered and the door was banged up but we walked away with only scratches. If he hadn't of swerved I'm pretty sure we would have all died.

Also pretty sure I encountered a serial killer in Portland, Maine. A wild looking older man who had been hanging out in the smoking area of a bar I was at, looked directly at me and said, "I can't stand your smiling fucking face. I keep thinking I want to stab you right in the middle of it." That was fun.

I still remember years ago I went to a gas station in Milwaukee at like 1 AM and this guy followed us out the door, took out a pack of Juicy Fruit gum, looked me in the eye and said "I'm going above and beyond with this Juicy Fruit". Then he opened his jacket and showed us he had a handgun in there.

glad you were all OK, ENBB. But yikes!

The wee hours of the morning, in public, seem like a time when anything and everything is possible.

in the car on the way to cornwall a few years ago a truck carrying railroad sleepers shed a couple of them right in front of us

we drove straight over one of them and tore off the exhaust but if we'd been a bit closer one of them could have gone straight through the windscreen

did not enjoy that experience tbh

Multiple yikes!

When I was 4 or 5 years old, a neighbor, who was an art professor at the local university, approached my parents about including me in a project about children's art. He wanted me to come over to his house at some point, but my parents had him over instead. I still remember him interviewing me about my art on the couch in our living room and him taking slides of my drawings.

When I was about 13 years old, I was playing with some other kids in the neighborhood near the professor's house, he came out with a kid a little younger than us and asked us if the kid could play with us. The kid looked really quiet and distant like he didn't want to play. We were playing cops and robbers or something and he joined for a few minutes and then he wandered away.

When I was in my later teens after we moved away, we found out the professor went to jail for molesting multiple kids. I think about the look on the kids face quite frequently.

About fifteen years ago or so, I was driving to work on the highway, and a ladder flew off of a truck and almost hit me.

When I was in my later teens after we moved away, we found out the professor went to jail for molesting multiple kids. I think about the look on the kids face quite frequently.

― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR)

fuuuuck, you have survivors guilt? i have a _fuckton_ of survivors' guilt involving CSA. i, um. it makes people uncomfortable when i get into details.

in fact i should probably nope out of this thread, i know i'm just going to start dumping about the insane amounts of personal trauma i've had if i stick around.

not my story, but several years ago, we were discussing horrifying theater experiences, and a friend of a friend of a friend confided that he performed in several community theatre productions with a serial killer. I don't remember which serial killer it was (not one of the more famous ones), but he uploaded a bio of one of their programs, and the serial killer's bio listed all of his credits and basically mentioned this would be his last show with the troupe as he was moving, and thanking the group for their time together.

apparently, the reason he was moving is that he started to get interest from law enforcement and was trying to discreetly lam it, but he was arrested shortly after.

i have to see if I can find the FB post as it was horrifying. I do remember googling the killer and finding a lot of articles online about him.

tl;dr - some actors are serial killers, just accept it

on One Day That Changed My Life they had a guy on recounting the day his boss arranged to meet him in a cafe. He was in sat the cafe drinking a coffee and his boss excused himself to use the toilet. He described then thinking he'd spilt his coffee because his leg felt wet and noticed that a woman sat at an opposite table was screaming. His boss was stabbing him multiple times with a knife, he had some horrific injuries including his throat getting cut. There was no motive for the attack, his boss had some previous for random violence. I found it terrifying because it makes me think of situations from the past that could have gone that way. Or just sometimes you can be unluckily in the wrong place at wrong time with the the wrong person and that's the point where you end.

"ok ok, no casual Friday this week, geez!"

not quite the severance package he was expecting!

"we're making some cuts"

"On the bright side, I stabbed you before firing you, so you're still covered by insurance."

Please turn in your key card, and your nose

tl;dr - some actors are serial killers, just accept it

― the manwich horror (Neanderthal)

paging john wilkes booth

xp you're fired, i mean dead!

Being a leader means making the hard decisions, such as whether to murder your employees.

some employees are quiet dying

it just happened again, the sneezing and coffee. this time it happened twice within a minute. the first was at the origin point, near the sink, but i still didn't make it in time and the violence of the sneeze shook the full-to-the-brim cup enough to fling just under boiling coffee all over my hand. the rest went in the sink, and cool water was at hand, so the whole thing was over in about 5 seconds from sneeze to clean up. i carried the still very full cup of nearly boiling coffee to the front room, the destination, and had another sneezing event just before i reached the coaster. this time, i was able to put the cup down before the sneeze hit. no cleanup was necessary in any way after the sneeze, which was limited to an internal event