What it is about BEING SINGLE and/or LIVING ALONE that is so ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!

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All those "what is it about your partner..." threads are making me VOMIT!!!

1) Can watch whatever you like on the telly without someone else mucking about with the remote/speaking through the good bits/changing channel

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

2) You wash dishes and they STAY WASHED until you use them without anyone moving them about the house and hiding them

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

3) No one else going in your bathroom and leaving the toilet seat up or the shower in the on position so that you get a face full of water when you try to use it

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

You can talk to yourself without being interrupted.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

3) You get the whole bed to yourself, and don't have to fight for the duvet.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

Argh, I was just going to post that, CJ. WHOLE BED TO YOURSELF yes. Plus ALLLLL the pillows and/or cushions.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

If you feel like chinese food or pizza or breakfast cereal or WHATEVER for dinner, no one complains they're "not in the mood for that..."

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

You can talk to yourself without being interrupted.

U&K. Now all I need to do is murmur a thought to myself and it's all "What? What did you say?". And I'm "Nothing". "No really, what did you say?". "NOTHING!"

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

If you feel like chinese food or pizza or breakfast cereal or WHATEVER for dinner, no one complains they're "not in the mood for that..."

and, conversely, you don't have to cook a meal when you don't feel like it.

Silence, too. Blessed, blessed silence. I miss that, sometimes.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Fancy listening to P-funk first thing in the morning and bouncing around the flat in your pants shouting about getting "funked up" while you do the dishes without ANYONE CRITICISING YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC.

In fact, you can listen to WHATEVER MUSIC you like WHEN YOU WANT without ANYONE COMPLAINING!!! (Except maybe the neighbours.)

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, that too! SILENCE and not being forced to listen to rubbish OI! music when you've come home from work with a headache and just want to rest.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

You can eat the WHOLE BURRITO if you like without anyone going "are you gonna eat that?" And then if you don't finish it, you can put it in the fridge and eat it the next day without anyone waking up in the middle of the night and deciding they fancy it for a snack.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

No waiting around for someone to take HOURS AND HOURS to get ready when you want to go, you go when you want!

Conversely, no hanging around bored at parties or pubs or gigs while your partner schmoozes - if you want to go, you can JUST LEAVE without anyone bitching at you about how you spoil their fun. Also, if you want to stay out all night and crash in strangers' beds at weird houses... NO ONE TO STOP YOU, IT IS QUITE ALRIGHT!!! Wake up wherever! No one will mind!

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

Can spend the entire evening reading without someone popping on music or the TV or clicketyclacketing away on the keyboard.

― Øystein, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

If you are in a rubbish mood, you can spend your entire day or evening in bed, under the duvet, moping and eating chocolates and being comedically gloomy until you feel better without anyone popping in every ten minutes going CHEER UP, WHY DON'T YOU?!?!? or OK, WHAT HAVE I DON'T NOW?!?!? like the world is their fault or something.

Sometimes I just want to mope and BE ALONE! it has nothing to do with anything!

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

I SO knew that you'd start this thread, Kate.

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

No offense, Dr. C, but if I read one more "ooh, my partner drives like THIS..." post, I am going to VOMIT.

Congratulations. You have a boyfriend. Now here's a fucking cookie.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

I have a boyfriend?

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

If you want to paint the living room purple and hot pink - NO ONE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR COLOUR BLIND TASTE IN PAISLEY!!!

Like furniture? Just buy it! No one to check with! Fall in love with a guitar? BUY THAT, TOO!!! With no one to complain about how much you're spending. After all, IT'S YOUR MONEY!!!

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

Also - don't read em Kate. Like I don't read the Jon Williams has hacked into ILX whatever threads.

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

You can sleep as late as you want or get up as early as you want, you don't have anyone moaning beside you.

No discussions about financial matters.

You don't have to excuse your rude behavior (like burp or fart).

You can do spontaneous things without having to excuse yourself or explain it.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

You can do all this stuff married too! I do! It's great! It's what OTHER ROOMS were invented for!

(um, not to rain on your parade or anything)

and, conversely, you don't have to cook a meal when you don't feel like it.

Teach Mr Unruly to cook!

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

Can spend the entire evening reading without someone popping on music or the TV or clicketyclacketing away on the keyboard.

oh, yeah.

― Ed, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

erm, xpost

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

KEEP THE MARRIED SHITE OFF THIS THREAD!!! SINGLE LIFE ONLY!!! THERE ARE ALREADY THREE THREADS FOR TALKING ABOUT YOUR SODDING PARTNERS!!!

Yes, no one to toss you out of bed if you fancy sleeping late.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

No need to crawl up the attic for some time alone, you always have it! If you want some companoinship, you just invite friends. Once you're fed up with social interaction, you just throw'em out. Try that with a partner!

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

OK, teach him how to use a microwave!

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

Mr Unruly can't even make a boiled egg, as he doesn't know the recipe. Before we got together, he survived on lunchtime meals from the canteen at work, and piles and piles of toast in the evening. Or beer.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

What type of cookie?

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

very bitter

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

Okay : single life!

Nobody to cuddle :(

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

Never pick anyone else's fucking BEARD HAIR out of the drain! You know the only hair in the drain is your own so it's not that gross.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

*high five*

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

Nobody to grumble at.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

The sort you get for having a boyfriend.

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Hah! I was like that, CJ. I only knew how to bake a chocolate cake. I don't think I could even properly break an egg! I learned to cook in a couple of monnths.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

(I was high fiving Blueski - damn this lack of xpost notification)

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

I think I need to start a thread about being single but living with a flatmate or two in which case hardly any of this applies either! SO EXCLUDED!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Don't feel like cleaning? It's OK!!! Let your flat get as messy as you like till there are hairballs the size of cats with NO ONE TO CRITICISE!!!!

Fancy cleaning? You can do it without someone else deciding to muck up your lovely clean flat when it's done!

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

I never knew you had a boyfriend, Dr C. What's his name?

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Ferenc

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Beryl!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Algernon.

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

Meet someone cute? Perfectly OK to flirt with them as much as you like, even get their phone number or sleep with them or WHATEVER!!! Without anyone getting jealous if you spent too much time talking to one person.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

COUPLES ROOL OK! KAET IS SILLY!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

No offense, Dr. C, but if I read one more "ooh, my partner drives like THIS..." post, I am going to VOMIT.

Congratulations. You have a boyfriend. Now here's a fucking cookie.

I only see about three couple-related threads (four if you count the parenting thread) out of the top 100 or so on the New Answers page. You must be zeroing in on them for some strange reason, Kate.

― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

Could someone start a thread about someone who thinks it's GREAT to be MARRIED but their PARTNER works really long HOURS and stressful SHIFT PATTERNS so they often have to spend time ALONE as well?

You know, in case they can't post about it anywhere else.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

You know, you lot, I've not gone and fucked up your threads talking about your partners, why do you come on here and criticise mine?

NO ONE CRITICISING YOU IF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE DAMN INTERNET, ARGUING WITH WHOEVER YOU LIKE AND COMPLAINING IF IT GETS YOU IN A BAD MOOD.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

Get back in the kitchen CJ! Make me some pie!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

if only there was some way to stop reading these threads!

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

[i]NO ONE CRITICISING YOU IF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE DAMN INTERNET, ARGUING WITH WHOEVER YOU LIKE AND COMPLAINING IF IT GETS YOU IN A BAD MOOD.[i/]

Haha like anyone needs a partner for that.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

What kind of pie?

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

Get back in the kitchen blueski! Make me some pie!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

Steak and kiddney pls!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

pie pie pie pie pie pie

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

How hungry are you, Sarah?

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

You can't have steak and kidney, That's TWO things in the same pie! That's like BEING A COUPLE.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

Well, it was to be expected, Kate, because you started the thread as some sort of revenge. NOt that I care! I mean, if I didn't like this thread, I wouldn't click on the link. In fact I think it's a great idea. :-)

Hmm, you don't have to brush your teeth because your breath stinks. You can do WHATEVER YOU LIKE.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Whereas with a plain old single steak pie, you can leave as much hair clogging it up as you like, no one will complain.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Mmmmm. Hairy pie.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

My missus and my boyfriend won't let me eat pie. It's not fair. If I was single I COULD EAT PIE IN MY OWN SQUALOR ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

You can just eat out of the pan, your partner won't mind or frown upon it.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

A lot of this thread is just "living on own" stuff (which you can do when part of a couple!) so an actual GOOD single thing is that you don't feel beholden to someone in yr social activities - but then again I guess this is more of a my own social ineptitude/only child problem than a perk to singledom! I am just not very good at spending time with someone when there isn't a specific reason for doing so! I r menk.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

On behalf of single people I would like to say that WE DO BRUSH OUR TEETH, nathalie!!!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Wait, is Nathalie saying that single people have halitosis?

No wonder people have affairs with married people. Singletons be stinky.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Of course single people brush their teeth, they'd never stand a hope of getting a boyfriend if they didn't.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Bed to yrself, especially in hot summer = beyond classic!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

It's not for fucking revenge, it's just this OOH OOH, WE'RE SO COUPLEY thing being all over the place. The say some people go on about it, honestly it's like they're flaunting it as some kind of accompishment. Cause being single is a fucking crime not a lifestyle choice.

Maybe this is bitterness, maybe it's actually wanting to feel good about myself instead of feeling shit and crap all the time, hey, who cares. So long as we get the zings in.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

No you can't live your own stuff. You have to do everything together when you're a couple. Like driving together and eating stuff that you don't like, and waiting around for them ALL THE TIME! It's HELL!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

So I was the only single person who never brushed her teeth? FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCk? ;-)

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

DON'T FUCKING READ IT THEN KATE!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

The main thing I miss about being single and living alone is the opportunity to spend hours just listening to records. Get home from work, make dinner and then just play LP after CD after cassette after CD...all at a decent volume, through the speakers. That's why I bought a nice stereo, y'know. Thesedays it gets so little real use it's a bit like one of those dry-docked ocean liners that are just restaurants.

― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

Kate, these were threads about being a couple! OF course we flaunt it on said threads! I mean, would be ridiculous not to, but instead talk about, say, spaghetti bolognese. ;-)

I was kidding abuot the brushing yr teeth! Then again I did once or twice skip it when I was single. OK! I AM A STINKY BELGIAN.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

Wait, now Nathalie is insulting the whole of Belgium?? Stan won't be happy about that!

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

So feeling (ok dreaming about) the silence thing.

― G00blar, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

Oi! I brush my teeth at least once every couple of weeks!

― StanM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

do you take them out first?

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

No constant 24 hour worrying about what "ought" to be happening instead of what "is" (or is not) happening!

(this is saying WAY more about me than I think I want it to!)

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

Oh man, Michael, you hit the nail on the head. Honestly, I never listen to music AT ALL. It dwindled down to say an hour per day... then to fifteen minutes and now I'm just pondering just selling all my records. At first I really did miss it and wanted to play more music, but I gave up eventually. Especially since having a child, music has no more presence in my life. It's a bit sad, really, but I had to make choices. Deep down I do miss those hours of music listening and writing about it. I don't have any opportunity to be really alone. Yes, I do have a few hours when I sit in the living room and could listen to music, but I also like to knit and watch a bit of 24. Music was a *sealed off universe* in which I could escape. And now it's not the same with a partner and child.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

To a restaurant and movie? Sure!

― StanM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

you can drink yourself to death and NO ONE WILL HASSLE YOU ABOUT IT

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

it's impossible to hurt the ones you love when NO ONE LOVES YOU!

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

(my reply was to blueski, but this xpost thing is meh)

― StanM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

Haha - here's one for the girls - you don't have to bother shaving yr legz AMIRITE!

You get to eat ALL the food you cook without having to fairly dole it out between two plates! This is esp good for me as I have some sort of mental block when it comes to cooking quantities! A perfectly reasonable amount of rice going in the pan turns out it could feed the whole of my street etc etc.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

I think I shaved my legs even more when I was single. HOw that is possible, I don't know.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

You can sit in your chair watching TV for years while being dead without someone moaning you're in their favourite chair because all of your chairs are yours and you can sit wherever you want! Yay!

― StanM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

Thread of Lolz +20 A+++ would use majik item again

― g-kit, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

You can keep the dismembered bodies stacked in your airing cupboards for weeks and nobody will complain about teh stink.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, Nathalie, maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend, I've never shaved my legs. Thanks for the tip!

― StanM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

i think if you're single you're just as likely to be making more effort on the personal appearance/hygiene front then if you're with someone (or at least have been with them long enough). depends on type of person you are i guess.

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

Not having to put up with passive aggressive behaviour. Like having to drag them round somewhere with them silently disapproving for some reason or other. And you go "are you all right, do you want to go home or go somewhere else" and they go "no, I'm fine" and it's obvious by their body language and tone of voice that it's not, so you go "clearly you're not fine", "I'm fiiiiine!". Ughhh god.

No arguments, no nagging, no quiet resentment, no visiting/staying with their awful, awful relatives who hate you.

― DavidM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

**You can keep the dismembered bodies stacked in your airing cupboards for weeks and nobody will complain about teh stink.**

Now that I DO miss.

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

Oi, N, what's this about selling all your records? Leave them for Ophelia to listen to when she's grown up a little more. My dad always made a point of playing me music practically from day one, and it's made me the person I am today!

*pause*

I dunno, maybe you should sell 'em... ;-)

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sorry if you're upset and angry, Kate. The 'coupley' threads aren't all over the place and could be easily avoided if you really wanted to.

There are of course many many things about living alone that are absolutely fantastic, but you're not fooling me. I've been kicking around the ILX boards for quite a few years now, and I've seen what you're like when you're in a relationship and all love-up .... you're as guilty as the next person of waxing lyrical about how great your guy is, I've seen you do it. Which is fabulous, and how it should be. I get the feeling that deep down you would very much like to be in another long-term relationship, and I hope that you find that special someone who will be your soul mate, but in the meantime please don't be hatin' on those of us who have got to that point. A relationship in itself isn't an achievement, but making it a successful one probably is - it's something which requires a number of social skills, which do not necessarily include shouting and throwing tantrums because you don't have what you want right now. Just sayin, like.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

You can have a wank during Songs of Praise and nobody will tell you off.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

"Especially since having a child, music has no more presence in my life."

so sad!

― scott seward, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

Oh Marcello, I know, I know. How I miss those days of musickness. :-( Alas no more. Maybe one day. When my two kids are a bit older. Maybe I should just install a CD player in the living room? I really should make an effort and play it for me and OPhelia (and the second baby!). :-)

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

*applauds*

(erm, CJ, not Noodle)

The problem with Kate's "things that are great about not being in a relationship" is that if you are in a reasonable and mutually respectful (ugh) relationship, you can do them all anyway!

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

You can have a wank during Songs of Praise and nobody will tell you off.
Noodle makes the Baby Jesus cry.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

Scott, I know! Don't remind me! ;-) I think I just found new obsessions. Kids and knitting. Yes, yes, yawn all you want. :-)

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

If Live and Kicking was still going that post would've been a hundred times worse.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

**You can have a wank during Songs of Praise and nobody will tell you off**

Hahahahahahaha!

Nath - just start playing stuff when you can. Maybe concentrated listening is difficult, but just having stuff playing is good too. Kids like music!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I should stop watching 24 obsessively and play some No New York for Ophelia. Ophelia rrrreally likes Hip Hop and drum-heavy music.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

Our Hannah got into Melt-Banana at an early age.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

Shouldn't this all be on some soon-to-be-started "what is it about NOT HAVING KIDS that is so BRILLIANT" thread?

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

I don't have to watch/sit through/go off and find something else to do while she watches "her programmes". Last night I watched a Takeshi's Castle double bill followed by putting on a Deadwood DVD while I had my tea. If I was with someone it would probably be bloody soaps for two hours or something.

― DavidM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

I think what ailsa's saying is that if you're in a reasonable and mutually respectful relationship, you can happily bash away at yourself no matter what's on TV (correct me if i'm wrong here).

― g-kit, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sorry but why is everyone picking on Kate? Sure, those coupley threads can be avoided but what's wrong with having one for singles?

I love being single - no fighting for closet space, no need to clean up anyone else's mess, no annoying habits to deal with, and different people to bring home every weekend. :D

― Roz, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

I'm going to check the rolling parenting thread, just to make sure none of you childless chumps have posted there.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

i understand, nath, but play some nice music for your little one. they need it. like plants.

― scott seward, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

if you're in a reasonable and mutually respectful relationship, you can happily bash away at yourself no matter what's on TV

I thought this would be a Tuomas post.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

when my son was a toddler I 'd dance around w/him on my shoulders to the tune of "Give Up The Funk" For awhile he seemed to enjoy almost anything lively, from P-Funk to Nirvana, but around age 5 he started forming his own taste in music and then all bets were off...it's like with food, most kids I know went thru a phase around 2-3 of eating ANYTHING -- "he likes vegetables! she tried calamari!" -- only to get picky when the school years start.

― m coleman, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

Plus: you don't have to put up with her sodding kids! I've just about had it with trying to accomodate someone else's mewling, snot-caked little cabbages.

― DavidM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

My 14 yr old taught me some Metallica riffs last night!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

I can't even tell what's satire any more.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

years ago - mid 90's? - i broke up with the sleepy stripper i was living with - i lived at her place - and finally got my own apartment. i loved it! i had never ever lived alone. i had the coolest cutest attic apartment and it was all MINE. so many things i liked about living alone. i think i lived there alone for about 3 years before inviting another ill-fated love to move in with me. i really made a mistake there. ah well, live and learn. then maria moved in and it was all downhill after that. just kidding! hahahaha! (but boy do i have fond memories of being by myself. i'm a hermit by nature. but other people keep me honest. and human.)

― scott seward, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

I'm in a reasonable and mutually respectful relationship, but I draw the line at Mr Unruly wanking during Supermaket Sweep. It's offputting to have someone grunting when I'm trying to remember how much a pot of extra thick double cream costs.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

things I miss about being single: listening to whatever music I want whenever I want

things I don't miss about being single: listening to other singles bitch about marriage and kids

― m coleman, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha David, that made me laugh.

Sorry to ruin your thread with the baby talk. :-( Sorry, Kate.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

actually I shouldn't have posted that thing about kids, either solly

― m coleman, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

sometimes cliches contain some truth. i.e. the grass is always greener...

― m coleman, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

x-post to CJ - worse than fiddling about with the remote? It's a tough call.

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

People are starving to death, dying of cancer, enduring terrible hardships (well, not in my village they're not, but I've read about that sort of stuff happening elsewhere) so I reckon in the great scheme of things fiddling with the remote isn't much to get steamed up about.

(I typed 'remote fiddling' first, but it looked kinda wrong) (but interesting) (I think there'd be a market for it) (what do you think?)

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

hahahaha.

― Roz, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Remote fiddling?

Keith to thread.

― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

i am single, but have a roommate so a lot of these don't apply to me. however, the one great thing about being single is that i can do what i want, whenever i want, and i don't have to worry about it. all of my friends are couples and i find it really weird when one of them wants to stay in for a night, the other does it, too (even if they don't want to).

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

Remote fiddling = someone's thought of that already. You want KeefW for that, I believe.

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

yeah that seems wrong

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, aye, what Mike said. xpost and all that.

― ailsa, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

Being single and alone lets you start threads about how alone you are and how you'll never have anyone ever and how you haven't had sex in ages and how you're a giant ball of lust and how you'll EXPLODE if you don't get some action.

If that sort of thing excites you, then I guess it falls into the definition of ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

― aldo, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

It's already been thought of? Ah, spit! No point in me patenting my newly-invented cybersex aid then.

― C J, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

fuck all these threads, seriously.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

this is all well and good but who's repping for the bigamists out there?

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

Matt DC WAS RIGHT!

― Pete, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

you can be as fat, unattractive and deranged as "you" want

― gershy, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

nobody 'wants' to be those things tho right?

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

you'd think

― gershy, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

Other than the link to the "things my girlfriend and I argue about" page, this is the single greatest thing on the couple-kvetch thread:

Name the one habit or trait that drives you most around the twist about your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/whatever

Being Imaginary.

Masonic Boom on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:18 AM (Yesterday)

So Kate, It's a damn good thing that thread was started. I laughed so hard over that!

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

2) You wash dishes

No, that's the problem. When I'm single, I don't.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

you can fester in hatred with out anyone to break that cycle

― Ronan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

you can become embittered and mean without any asshole correcting you for it.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

can wallow in being single, this isn't possible when not single.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

you can define yourself by being single to the point where you're never likely to get in a relationship and then act surprised and indignant about this! such fun! erm....

― Ronan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

jalapenos

― 688, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

why can jalapenos not be a couple thing? we eat them with gusto at my house.

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Ronan OTMx100000

― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

2) You wash dishes

No, that's the problem. When I'm single, I don't.

I am much cleaner and more conscientious when I only have to clean up my own mess. The mess is somehow 20x more manageable, even if it's only half the size. I do not know why this is.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:16 (nineteen years ago)

This thread is stupid. Serious answer:

1) I really like being able to go to the gym or work on music as much as I want without feeling guilty that I'm ignoring my girlfriend.

2) Watch whatever movies I want!

― Jordan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

7689) No fear of being one of those couples I see ALL THE TIME that sit together in pubs, restaurants wherever, in stony silence because there's nothing left to talk about and looking as if their souls have completely withered away. Trapped together out of fear of being single. Fun times.

7690) Being able to talk to, flirt with, even fucking look at any other girl without getting an earful.

7691) And one night stands are slightly less problematic when single.

7692) The routines you slide into when in a relationship. So much harder to break away from.

One bad thing about being single though: seeing less and less of those freinds who are with controlling, jealous partners who never let them off the leash for more than five minutes and even when they do and you get back to theirs after a night out, there's usually a frosty atmosphere between them and you think fuck this I'm better off out of it.

― DavidM, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

You sound bitter, mate!

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 19:28 (nineteen years ago)

I don't think this thread is stupid. There are good things about being single, and listing some of them might help someone who's feeling badly (like they're waiting around, or like they're unattractive, or fearing they'll always be single) remember them.

Unfortunately, things like "don't have to cook when you don't feel like it" or "your dishes STAY clean" don't apply when you have roommates and cooking / cleaning schedule. Nope. Nor does "you can watch whatever you want on TV," because what if there's a basketball game on? Or "you can play loud music," because what if someone else wants to go to bed early?

I particularly like not being accountable for anyone for free time, though. And the excitement of meeting people! Oh, and since I'm about to graduate college and move who knows where, it's very freeing not to have to make decisions about the future that involve compromising with someone else's decisions about the future. That's THE big one. Although I suppose having to make decisions with someone else would give a measure of security that you wouldn't be totally alone wherever you go, I've seen it backfire badly as well.

― Maria, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

This is the first time I have ever lived on my own and it is so f*cking awesome I don't know where to start. All of the above otm. All covered. The dancing. The cleaning. The nudity. The MUSIC whilst cooking. Love it all.

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

You never have to worry about your sig. other coming in when you're trying to get sleep for work-- it SUCKS when you're on opposite work schedules. Not all couples are, to be sure, but it is the worst.

― Will M., Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

I read that as "You never have to worry about your wig."

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

I am much cleaner and more conscientious when I only have to clean up my own mess. The mess is somehow 20x more manageable, even if it's only half the size. I do not know why this is.

Yeah, if I'm accountable to no one, I start to develop really bad habits. All the things that are great about being single and living alone are definitely worth celebrating, but once it's 3 AM and you're still on the Internet, staring bleary-eyed at porn, and you've had three beers and you have to get up in four hours and your dirty laundry is scattered across the apartment and a stack of two-week-old dishes in the sink, then it's kind of a drag. When I have girlfriend, I clean more, partially out of simple guilt (not wanting to look like a slob in front of them) and partially because the steadiness of a relationship makes me want to make everything in my life straight and tidy.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

no one there to talk you out of lunatic ideas that really are pretty fantastic.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

Thank god for the 'or' in the title -- you can be coupled AND live alone, and it's ace. Two houses, so one to go visit when yours is a total tip. Result.

― .stet., Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:16 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, that's my sitch, too.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

I start to develop really bad habits. All the things that are great about being single and living alone are definitely worth celebrating, but once it's 3 AM and you're still on the Internet, staring bleary-eyed at porn, and you've had three beers and you have to get up in four hours

yeah, see, I do all those things, and also dishes and laundry.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:22 (nineteen years ago)

One bad thing about being single though: seeing less and less of those freinds who are with controlling, jealous partners who never let them off the leash for more than five minutes and even when they do and you get back to theirs after a night out, there's usually a frosty atmosphere between them and you think fuck this I'm better off out of it.

Wow, I never knew David M was David Mamet.

― accentmonkey, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:41 (nineteen years ago)

the novelty of living alone wears off after about a year, at the latest

― the sir weeze, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 23:00 (nineteen years ago)

untrue, in my experience.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

Nine months of joy to go.

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 23:05 (nineteen years ago)

I particularly like not being accountable for anyone for free time, though. And the excitement of meeting people! Oh, and since I'm about to graduate college and move who knows where, it's very freeing not to have to make decisions about the future that involve compromising with someone else's decisions about the future. That's THE big one.

otm actually..this is quite difficult for me and my girlfriend at the moment...

― Ronan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

Well, there's the sort of happiness about being alone that people who are involved or live with someone yearn for, then there's the sort that single people throw in others' faces because they're bitter about being single.

I think it's fantastic I can tell the difference between the two because I am recently single.

― mh, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 23:20 (nineteen years ago)

i don't have to share my onion rings with anyone.

downside, there's no one to share my onion rings with.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

this thread makes me want to VOMIT!

― blueski, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

That'll be the onion rings, then.

― Forest Pines, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

man, my colon has the unique ability to turn something as innocuous as onion rings into zyklon-b. it's terrible. BUT I LOVE ONION RINGS!!!

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

chicago kevin again finds the nub

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

i don't know what that means but if it was a crack about living alone then you can cram it with walnuts ugly.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

get to die alone, and no-one berates you for it....

― darraghmac, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

man, my colon has the unique ability to turn something as innocuous as onion rings into zyklon-b. it's terrible. BUT I LOVE ONION RINGS!!!

You're not alone. I'm just as bad, and so's my father.

― Forest Pines, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

i COULD cram it with walnuts, if i lived alone >:(

i meant you had found the paradoxical nub of the question!

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

It would be nice for once in a while to come home and find all my cleaning/dishes done for me. But other than that it's okay, I get to park all four of my bicycles in the kitchen which I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get away with if someone else lived here

― Ste, Thursday, 1 March 2007 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

i meant you had found the paradoxical nub of the question!

Is that like the proverbial egg in the briefcase?

― jaymc, Thursday, 1 March 2007 15:59 (nineteen years ago)

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

― 688, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

wrong thread dude

― Ste, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

it is?

― 688, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:20 (nineteen years ago)

don't have to hide secret identity even at home, can drip-dry super costume in bathroom, kick back

no awkward "maybe we can be crime-fighting team" talk when identity inevitably discovered

uninterrupted brooding, revenge schemes

― rrrobyn, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha i heart rrrobyn

― tissp, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

If it's not I have no idea of the joke

― Ste, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

Kate, I hope your gig goes well, and that you flirt with many, many fans/boys/girls - I have not yet heard Shimura Curves, because you haven't toured Massachusetts. YET!

As for single/couple - separate space is important, because it's good to feel like you're single sometimes. i would prefer separate houses - even separate houses in various countries- but I live in an apartment, so we have worked out: two computers, two tvs, one bedroom, which is MINE, (no clothes tangling up bother) but he usually sleeps there, a "guest" bedroom where his stuff is all happily stored. With all of the boy stuff, including the gigantic tv, the xbox, the remotes, and his clothing. And detritus. And ephemera.
It has taken years to figure this out.
I THINK having kids pretty much rules out the huge internal searching that leads to the "separate, but equal" form of the intimate cohabitation situation.
Unless you are very rich and can have nannies. And multiple homes on various continents.

My unhappiness can be the cause of a breakdown in any system, including this relationship. Having my own "walls to color on" can be the antidote to the situation.
I like to sing, once a week, at an Irish/Celtic music session. I go by myself, get smooched by many musicians, and return home satisfied by my performance, by the companionship, and by the smooches of others. (No tongue, of course!).
I think, Kate, that singing and being adored is going to make you happy and smoochy.
Good luck!~

― aimurchie, Thursday, 1 March 2007 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

masturbation without explanation. or compulsory participation.

― anhell*ca, Thursday, 1 March 2007 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

No fear of being one of those couples I see ALL THE TIME that sit together in pubs, restaurants wherever, in stony silence because there's nothing left to talk about and looking as if their souls have completely withered away. Trapped together out of fear of being single. Fun times.

Have been thinking about this since yesterday. Completely otm.

― Hard like armour, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, dudes, stay out of relationships in case you can't walk away from a shit one? Good theory.

(I am glad, also, that you have such insight into silence. We often sit in a comfortable silence, never thinking what it looks like to others)

― ailsa, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:44 (nineteen years ago)

Perhaps people are looking at me thinking "oh noes, she is unhappy and trapped in the seventh circle of hell". Ah, fuck 'em.

― ailsa, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

― lauren, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:50 (nineteen years ago)

I like being with people who, if the desire to talk isn't there, don't feel compelled to jabber.

― Michael White, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

OTM.

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

I think Skot said the most important thing on this thread maybe:

'm a hermit by nature. but other people keep me honest. and human.

― Trayce, Thursday, 1 March 2007 23:09 (nineteen years ago)

Weird, Rob Sheffield said the same thing on Fluxblog yesterday.

― jaymc, Thursday, 1 March 2007 23:14 (nineteen years ago)

im a cover hogger.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 1 March 2007 23:26 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, dudes, stay out of relationships in case you can't walk away from a shit one? Good theory.

Sorry Ailsa, didn't mean that I'd actually noticed other couples like that before, the sentiment just resonated because that is what happened to me after 10 yrs in the same relationship.

― Hard like armour, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:07 (nineteen years ago)

And not through lack of goddamn trying on my side.

― Hard like armour, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:08 (nineteen years ago)

Shit, that sounds bitter. Not bitter, just a little sad that after all the time invested it didn't work.

― Hard like armour, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:17 (nineteen years ago)

i like having my bed all to myself and being able to have radio 4 switch itself on really early and be on for 3 hours before i get out of it (bed, not radio or my head) in the morning..

― emsk, Friday, 2 March 2007 00:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.dmusic.com/v7/emoticons/zzz.gif

― am0n, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:00 (nineteen years ago)

I think Skot said the most important thing on this thread maybe:

'm a hermit by nature. but other people keep me honest. and human.

This is mad otm. I generally don't like other people, but I do sometimes love them.

― kenan, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:20 (nineteen years ago)

Same - every time I have lived completely on my own, I've become completey batshit.

― Trayce, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:41 (nineteen years ago)

I kind of like the system they have in some flats in expensive cities in England (the only place I've seen it, though I'm sure people do it everywhere) where they have big bedrooms, so they turn the sitting room into a bedroom and people just share the kitchen and the bathroom and they all have separate little hideaway rooms to live in. I'd like that. Private, but not completely alone.

― accentmonkey, Friday, 2 March 2007 08:14 (nineteen years ago)

ability to conduct multiple crazy alarm schemes lasting roughly 1.5 hrs before actual out-of-bedness without ph3r of disturbing partner OTM.

messiness and up-late-solitary-drinkin etc are much more mixed blessings. i mean in coupledom you can sort of block out time for alone dipshitness tho, if yr forthright about it.

watching truly stupid stuff on tv without fear of judgement tho--priceless.

― s.clover, Friday, 2 March 2007 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

choosing not to answer the phone. yum.

― Ste, Friday, 2 March 2007 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Oh silly rabbits, this thread didn't attract flack because of the question, it got the flack because it was me asking.

It's funny to talk about my "bitterness" because the ironic thing is that it was actually relationships that made me bitter, not being single. Being single is just like having a stone in your shoe - being in a bad relationship is like having nails driven through your feet. Or something.

I enjoy living on mine own. I'm an introvert, I appreciate the time and the space and the silence. If I want to deal with people, I go out. Even when I lived with other people, I spent much more time in my room than the social areas of the house. So getting to live alone is an advantage of being single for me.

Another thing I find really freeing is just not having to concentrate or worry so much about your appearance. Have the extra pint of beer or seconds of curry if it's going to make you happier, no one to complain about your putting on extra weight. No one kind of glaring at you with their arms crossed over their chest all "Are you REALLY going to wear THAT?!?!?" when you leave the house.

I'm thinking about the bitterness thing - most of the time, I'm actually a lot *less* bitter than I have been in the past. But maybe bitterness needs its own thread.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:40 (nineteen years ago)

no one minds if you play late 70s deodato

― 688, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

i find it's more likely to be people outside one's living space that judge their appearance.

― electricsound, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

Partners have criticised my appearance more than anyone else except perhaps my mother. Everything from my weight to my hair colour and cut to my clothes to even what kind of glasses I wear.

I don't know why this is - I am *really* not a "does my bum look big in this?" kind of a girl. Maybe that's why.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

Hehe - I was just sorting through some CDs to take down oxfam and I a deodata one out and I really can't decide whether to keep it on not.

― Ned Trifle II, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

Kate, they are idiots...anyone who has seen the flickr set knows you're the hots!

― Ned Trifle II, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know why this is - I am *really* not a "does my bum look big in this?" kind of a girl. Maybe that's why.

This is probably why--those comments inevitably lead to: "No, of course not!".

― G00blar, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, Ned. I wasn't fishing for compliments, though. Just perplexed. I don't ask "does my bum look big in this" of partners because I *know* my bum is big.

If I need reassurance on my appearance for photo shoots or whatever, that's what my more glam girlfriends are for.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry - I knew I shouldn't drink and post...

― Ned Trifle II, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

I SO knew that you'd start this thread, Kate.

haha me too! damn nu-ilx and its fun-hating "let's tell you who started a thread on the new answers page" horseshit.

single = never having to make any excuses for anything, basically. it's lovely. but it's also lonely sometimes, just as being in a relationship is lovely but also claustrophobic. ain't nobody gonna win this one.

― CharlieNo4, Friday, 2 March 2007 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

upside of being single and living alone: girl texts me at 7 to meet for drinks at 8 i don't have to think of a quick cover story why i'm going out or why i stayed out until 2:30.

downside of being single and living alone: came home to empty apartment, again.

rebounded upside of being single and living alone: sleep alone is rarely a huge mistake.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

You should have fucked the girl, stop wasting your upside!

― Matt DC, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

matt you have no inkling of how much of a bad idea that would have been.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

Upside: bad ideas not actually being as catastrophic as they would have been, had you had a partner!

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

HI DERE I MADE THAT MISTAKE LAST WEEK DO NOT NEED TO MAKE IT AGAIN THANKS.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

Another thing I find really freeing is just not having to concentrate or worry so much about your appearance. Have the extra pint of beer or seconds of curry if it's going to make you happier, no one to complain about your putting on extra weight. No one kind of glaring at you with their arms crossed over their chest all "Are you REALLY going to wear THAT?!?!?" when you leave the house.

At risk of Kate taking this personally because it's her (it's not, I'd say this to anyone saying the above) - this is not going to be a problem if you are in a relationship with someone who's not a complete dick.

― ailsa, Friday, 2 March 2007 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

Another thing I find really freeing is just not having to concentrate or worry so much about your appearance. Have the extra pint of beer or seconds of curry if it's going to make you happier, no one to complain about your putting on extra weight. No one kind of glaring at you with their arms crossed over their chest all "Are you REALLY going to wear THAT?!?!?" when you leave the house.

Downside is you will eventually be unattractive to the opposite sex, thus increasing the chances that you'll spend more time coming up with the upside of your lifestyle on the internet.

There really is no winning in life.

― Gukbe, Friday, 2 March 2007 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

Alisa, OTM.

I found that, during times I lived alone and had a regular outlet - a social work envoirnment, a regular activity in the spare time like a band or a regular poker game or roller derby practice (not me, just exemplifyin') - I was fine. I'm a social person by nature and, without at least some human contact outside of work, I go nuts.

OTOH - Being single and living alone = No one steals your beer, snacks, or other perishables/necessities. I have been generally lucky with roommates, but the one REALLY bad one that I had brought the average for the other 11.

The one thing I would make DAMN sure to never do again is to live with someone I worked with. NO separation at all. The WORST.

― B.L.A.M., Friday, 2 March 2007 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

At risk of Kate taking this personally because it's her (it's not, I'd say this to anyone saying the above) - this is not going to be a problem if you are in a relationship with someone who's not a complete dick.

I think this is true of a lot of the things people have said on this thread.

― jaymc, Friday, 2 March 2007 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

Well, if you're in a relationship with someone's who's not a dick, it might actually work long-term, in which case you're never single!

Interestingly, this is the only mention of children I've found on the thread:
I THINK having kids pretty much rules out the huge internal searching that leads to the "separate, but equal" form of the intimate cohabitation situation.

I mean, if part of being alone was the great time to yourself, productivity, etc. wouldn't people with kids be flocking to this thread to say how great it'd be if the kids weren't interrupting them constantly, or how being alone will never make you have to get up to check on a crying baby?

The reality is probably closer to the fact that having a comfortable home life is absolutely fantastic, regardless of how many people are there.

― mh, Friday, 2 March 2007 19:18 (nineteen years ago)

Uh, most people that I know that have kids would love to have more time to hang out, read, drink, practice, play music, etc.. I think they don't complain about it because a) they love their kids, of course, and b) what are you gonna do?

― Jordan, Friday, 2 March 2007 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

Post on this thread, obvs

― mh, Friday, 2 March 2007 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

You can listen to Barry White and no-one will laugh at you.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:21 (nineteen years ago)

living alone: dancing around apartment half-naked to loud music while dishes from dinner fester in the sink

― get bent, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:23 (nineteen years ago)

A dance mat set up permanently on the lounge room floor.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:25 (nineteen years ago)

I can get food poisoning really easily because I can't smell my food.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:28 (nineteen years ago)

You can clip and/or bite your toenails off any time (that your roommates aren't home).

― Laurel, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

my friend is leaving town for the summer and if all goes according to plan she'll be able to sublet me her studio apartment in silver lake for a few months!

― get bent, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

Abbott, why can't you smell your food?!

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:46 (nineteen years ago)

I have to get used to this way of living now - woe is me :-(

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 09:13 (nineteen years ago)

The one thing I would make DAMN sure to never do again is to live with someone I worked with. NO separation at all. The WORST.

Ha - Pam & I worked in the same office for just over 2 years. We had been married for 4 years when this arrangement began, mind. It was actually pretty great for the first year; the problems after that were more associated with work stresses than anything else - though, to be honest, sharing those stresses in work hours dissipated them more quickly than the current situation of me coming home and ranting for 15mins about the various idiocies I've had to deal with during my work day. We were like the Richard & Linda Thompson of subtitling for a while there.

Uh, most people that I know that have kids would love to have more time to hang out, read, drink, practice, play music, etc.. I think they don't complain about it because a) they love their kids, of course, and b) what are you gonna do?

Yes and yes.

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 09:30 (nineteen years ago)

(Actually, the Richard & Linda comparison is probably ill-chosen).

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 09:37 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Never, ever, ever having to worry about - or indeed even think about - birth control.

Phew!

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 17:45 (eighteen years ago)

I thought I could organise freedom, how Scandinavian of me.

― admrl, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 17:49 (eighteen years ago)

oh we all know youre just lonely

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:18 (eighteen years ago)

"know"

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:18 (eighteen years ago)

Being single /= not getting laid!

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, don't let's start all that up again.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

you revived the thread!

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:22 (eighteen years ago)

Because it is actually a big relief not to have to worry about birth control - pills or condoms or icky IUDs and strange insertions. And I had forgotten until reading that thread. :-)

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:25 (eighteen years ago)

you can still get pregnant, you know.

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:25 (eighteen years ago)

i mean there's flying sperm to watch out for. it's in the air, all around us. like the internets.

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:26 (eighteen years ago)

DON'T GO IN THE SEA

― emsk, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:27 (eighteen years ago)

i usually can think of something great about being single, but not really today.. im going through some weird annual 2-week period wherein i want a boyfriend. but it'll pass.

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:36 (eighteen years ago)

44) You don't have to worry about lying to anyone about your STD's.

― John Justen, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:38 (eighteen years ago)

It's called Spring, Mandee. ;-)

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:38 (eighteen years ago)

BARTRIP Now THAT is OTM.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:39 (eighteen years ago)

You can go abroad for a year or two without the regrets, compromises, or trade-offs that you'd have if you were in a relationship. I'm traveling for a year on a fellowship after graduation, and that's fine; another friend of mine really wants to move to Europe, but her fiance says if she did he would have to leave her (I've just heard a rumor that they broke the engagement because she doesn't want to be a housewife yet, but I know they really love each other so I hope things work out); another friend is joining the Peace Corps and is probably going to break up with her boyfriend because of it. Single wins!

― Maria, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 02:22 (eighteen years ago)

living alone: dancing around apartment half-naked to loud music while dishes from dinner fester in the sink

-- get bent, Monday, March 12, 2007 9:23 PM (1 month ago)

there we go

― river wolf, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 02:27 (eighteen years ago)

living alone = getting to leave from and return to an empty house each day. I don't know why I enjoy this so much and I assume it will change as I get older and become a sentimental middle-aged family man but for now it is TOPS.

― bernard snowy, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

it's great that you enjoy it, i think most people would find it a problem rather than a plus!

― Maria, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 02:30 (eighteen years ago)

ive lived by myself for 4 years

the novelty wears off

― the sir weeze, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 02:43 (eighteen years ago)

You get the whole bed to yourself, and don't have to fight for the duvet.

This is so frigging otm. I tend to make awful *clicky dee clack* noises which obv pisses off/wakes up my husband. :-(

― nathalie, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:09 (eighteen years ago)

Do you take a football rattle to bed with you, nath??

― C J, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:20 (eighteen years ago)

Alas, no, I do this with my troath apparently. I think I have some sort of *defect* (I can't breathe well through my nose) which causes me to make these weird sounds? I'm not sure.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:26 (eighteen years ago)

CJ: you never made me that pie!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:31 (eighteen years ago)

(Yes I just re-read this ENTIRE THREAD)

― Sarah, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:32 (eighteen years ago)

I so DID make you that pie, Sarah! Except it wouldn't email its way to you properly, so I ate it instead.

― C J, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:36 (eighteen years ago)

I was thinking over the weekend that if I lived alone, I simply wouldn't know what to do with all that free time.

― C J, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:39 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, we occupy ourselves somehow, never you worry!!

Admittedly I had the dullest weekend ever but that was due to being broke, not single :) I crocheted an awesome elephant!!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:48 (eighteen years ago)

At the moment it's decent. I heart a tidy house and so I went on a cleaning rampage at the weekend.

This contentment could change at any moment depending on what horrors could trigger depression (a spoon in the knife compartment for instance)

― Ste, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 09:25 (eighteen years ago)

Are we allowed a thread for being single but living with other people?

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 10:06 (eighteen years ago)

I think we did that didn't we?

― Dr.C, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 10:12 (eighteen years ago)

2) You wash dishes and they STAY WASHED until you use them without anyone moving them about the house and hiding them

Quite a big deal. I washed all the wine glasses late last night after some friends had left; to my immense relief they were dry and clean in the cabinets.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:44 (eighteen years ago)

four years pass...

On living alone and What It All Means.

― Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 April 2012 16:38 (thirteen years ago)

That Eric Klinenberg book is getting a lot of play and discussion around the moment. I should probably read it.

― Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 10 April 2012 18:01 (thirteen years ago)

there was an article about it in my college alumni magazine - one of its findings is that being single/living alone is often really painful for women in their late 30s/early 40s. :/

― sarahell, Tuesday, 10 April 2012 18:11 (thirteen years ago)

Yeah, dudes, stay out of relationships in case you can't walk away from a shit one? Good theory.

The ideal is to be with someone for the right reason.[1] However, it is better to be alone for the right reason, than with someone for the wrong reason.

[1] NB: My romantic history and relationship skills are so bad that I can't personally verify that being with the right person for the right reason is a Good Thing.

― Seraphim? I don't even know him! (j.lu), Tuesday, 10 April 2012 21:45 (thirteen years ago)

if i could afford to live alone, i would do so in a heartbeat. i think it makes total sense that more people are doing it.

― liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Tuesday, 10 April 2012 23:06 (thirteen years ago)

Is that actually in the Klinenberg book, or in the discussion about it?

I'm in that gender and age bracket and I can no longer even contemplate the idea of living with a partner.

What makes life painful or not is having friends to hang out with should we choose to, not having some stinking man taking up space in my flat.

― White Chocolate Cheesecake, Tuesday, 10 April 2012 23:12 (thirteen years ago)

two years pass...

i don't have to share my onion rings with anyone.

downside, there's no one to share my onion rings with.
― chicago kevin, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:27 (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this thread makes me want to VOMIT!
― blueski, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:28 (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That'll be the onion rings, then.
― Forest Pines, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:31 (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

― post you had fecund thoughts about (darraghmac), Wednesday, 4 March 2015 01:57 (eleven years ago)

One FANTASTIC thing about being single is that when you make up your mind, you can move forward and act. No protracted discussions, compromises, sudden dramas, impasses, miscommunications, or other folderol. You decide and *bang* you're good to go.

^ Spoken as a man whose 30th wedding anniversary recently came and went.

― Aimless, Wednesday, 4 March 2015 02:14 (eleven years ago)

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