Your mundane experiences in haiku

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as a companion to the great MS Paint thread.

Early morning walk
one dog barking at a cat
other eats its turd

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 March 2007 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

Hallways crammed with kids
As I enter the bathroom,
Empty when I leave.

― Aimless, Thursday, 22 March 2007 18:28 (nineteen years ago)

Making pumpkin bread
Kitchen is in disarray
Where is the nutmeg?

― Sara R-C, Thursday, 22 March 2007 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

Soldiers everywhere
Recruitment drive on campus
Kids, don't be suckas

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 22 March 2007 18:48 (nineteen years ago)

Today they tell me
The new site must be live,
April fifteenth. I laugh.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 March 2007 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

hard drive whirs to death
delete delete delete files
til the heat is off

― rrrobyn, Thursday, 22 March 2007 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

Washing the dishes again
the plates that number seven
are now only six.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:03 (nineteen years ago)

a long day at work
wanted to go home, watch LOST
i do not like Jack

― g-kit, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:29 (nineteen years ago)

overslept again
goddamit you lazy fool
now back to dreamland

― latebloomer, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

"thanks for your order!
i'm at extension one-four-
eight, if you need me."

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

Co-worker and boss
have now both gone home. Slackers.
Why am I still here?

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

shaving in kitchen
bathroom sink is on order
uneven sideburns

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

internet coma
tuned guitar for neighbor girl
plans postponed again

― fife, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

went to get sworn in
as a notary public
but had the wrong bond

― nickalicious, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

all day at court house
missed out on thread with blackface
products and roffles

― nickalicious, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:54 (nineteen years ago)

IT kid is here
Reinstalling InCopy
"Type in your password"

― Erroneous Botch, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

ow burned my tongue
on some microwave oatmeal
and i hate oatmeal

― max, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

o kraft cheese single
yet more bland than the cracker
that bears your square frame

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

Not much work today
Not much paycheck tomorrow
Poetic justice

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

oh, what a headache
it's a concordance, my dear
that's not an index.

― molly mummenschanz, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:23 (nineteen years ago)

Too many kittens I own,
and one perfect cat.
At times the poop defies me.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

Damn, I missed the bus.
Kill some time on ILX
or do my research?

Guess what I decided.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:47 (nineteen years ago)

Tiny sawed-off whiskers
And soap residue mess up
the white porcelin.

― Aimless, Friday, 23 March 2007 00:48 (nineteen years ago)

I scroll up and down
idly rolling the mouse's wheel
not really looking.

― Aimless, Friday, 23 March 2007 00:57 (nineteen years ago)

I dance with myself
To the distant beats I hear
Then they go away

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 01:03 (nineteen years ago)

If it works I'm stoked
If it kills germs I'll use it
Gotta clean the sink

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 01:10 (nineteen years ago)

shopping in book store
motherfuckers jimmied passenger door
alas poor radio

― milo z, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:02 (nineteen years ago)

Gold liquid, white foam
Tasty and alcoholic
Four more in the fridge

― Oilyrags, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:04 (nineteen years ago)

I sit in the crowd
Watch my daughter up on stage
in "The Music Man"

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

Here am I, up late
Knowing the morning will suck
But still I can't sleep

― ailsa, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:35 (nineteen years ago)

I sit in the crowd
Watch my daughter up on stage
in "The Music Man"

I would think that is awesome, not mundane. :)

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:48 (nineteen years ago)

Kitty in a paper bag
head first, knowing not
the wrath that will ensue.

― aimurchie, Friday, 23 March 2007 03:02 (nineteen years ago)

missed the last syllable ;)

kinda scared what this means, BTW

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 03:14 (nineteen years ago)

this computer sucks
SHUT DOWN WORD ONE MORE TIME, PLZ
fuck you, library

― impudent harlot, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:20 (nineteen years ago)

--Nice and warm out, huh?
--Weather sure is strange this year.
--Hope it stays like this.

― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:24 (nineteen years ago)

I sit in the crowd
Watch my daughter up on stage
in "The Music Man"

I would think that is awesome, not mundane. :)

dice in my pockets on Thursday, March 22, 2007 10:48 PM (Yesterday)

Yeah, but have you ever seen his daughter in The Music Man?

― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:26 (nineteen years ago)

nope.

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:35 (nineteen years ago)

air conditioning
topic of a brochure I
just had to revise

― Maria :D, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:55 (nineteen years ago)

working late to do
what I didn't have time to
when the kids were up

― Maria :D, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

my eyes feel quite dry
is it something in the air?
(perhaps just sleep dep)

― Maria :D, Friday, 23 March 2007 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

I'll go to bed now
Dreamt of onion rings last night
They taste pretty good

― Maria :D, Friday, 23 March 2007 05:00 (nineteen years ago)

"Big booty bitches
They think they is the shit," so
DJ Deeon says.

― m bison, Friday, 23 March 2007 05:12 (nineteen years ago)

Thank you for calling
Mastercard, Matthew speaking
How may I help you?

― Oblivious Lad, Friday, 23 March 2007 06:45 (nineteen years ago)

May I just confirm
That I've resolved the reason
For your call today?

― Oblivious Lad, Friday, 23 March 2007 07:09 (nineteen years ago)

Is this true power?
Can one truly be root, if
it's just through sudo?

― peteR, Friday, 23 March 2007 09:28 (nineteen years ago)

Writing a hai
It's not that easy is it?
Sod this for a

― Mark G, Friday, 23 March 2007 09:36 (nineteen years ago)

vxconfigd
is buggered. sync;sync;reboot.
It's the only way.*

*actually, strictly it's not. It's not even the best way of rebooting; I have taken artistic licence, you see, and...oh, you're not bothered.

[/techie]

― peteR, Friday, 23 March 2007 09:41 (nineteen years ago)

Mark G - brilliant. Heard similar from John Cooper Clarke:

"To express one's mood
in seventeen syllables
is very diffic".

― peteR, Friday, 23 March 2007 09:43 (nineteen years ago)

i missed a comma.
compile, deploy, refresh. rinse
and repeat. again.

once more with feeling.
s q l native query
why you break my heart?

― koogs, Friday, 23 March 2007 10:07 (nineteen years ago)

It's cold, I'm shivering
Waiting for the post
to be delivering

― jel --, Friday, 23 March 2007 10:14 (nineteen years ago)

I caught the late train
I read a crap horror book
then i bought coffee

― onimo, Friday, 23 March 2007 10:16 (nineteen years ago)

Children of Mana
For Nintendo DS,
Will cause me distress, yes

― jel --, Friday, 23 March 2007 10:19 (nineteen years ago)

logged on at seven
my boss thinks i'm working hard
no, i'm distracted

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

(these are the first two haiku's I've ever written!!)

― jel --, Friday, 23 March 2007 10:21 (nineteen years ago)

Internet pedant
Hates misplaced apostrophes
With a white hot rage

― Oilyrags, Friday, 23 March 2007 11:21 (nineteen years ago)

A new door. I now
spend my whole life open and
closing it for cats.

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 12:00 (nineteen years ago)

I Love Everything
Know little about music
This is why I'm here

I kid, I kid.

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

I love the smell of haiku in the morning! (where's Haikunym?)

these two:
At times the poop defies me.

s q l native query
why you break my heart?

roffle.

TV in Bed

Real and Chance fight for
New York as if she's a prize.
My intellect cries.

― Ms Misery, Friday, 23 March 2007 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

ham and coleslaw and
sliced up tomato in bread
makes tasty sandwich

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

(sql problem seemed to be due to positional parameters. fixed now)

in reply to so-called-poet JJC:

To express one's mood
in seventeen syllables
is a piece of piss.

(although real hiaku are meant to have a sense of the season about them)

― koogs, Friday, 23 March 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

like this?

its pissing down and
i'm freezing my bollocks off.
smoking outside sucks.

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

jacket potato
turkey, peppers and some cheese
bargain lunch for me

― CharlieNo4, Friday, 23 March 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Shall I start a thread,
Or shall I NOT start a thread?
That is the question!

― Mark G, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

drinking cold water
reading another race thread
why do we do this?

― onimo, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

cold water tastes good.

― Ms Misery, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

you left off the next two lines
i shall write them here

― onimo, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

ha. just commenting
on the drinking of water.
and ignoring race.

― Ms Misery, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

Hot because I'm fly
You ain't because you are not
This is why I'm hot

― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:22 (nineteen years ago)

collaborations
between ILXors make
for better haiku

that was an xpost
for those who didn't realise
and thought me stupid

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:25 (nineteen years ago)

now the kids are home
should I continue working
or play nintendo?

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

my heater is on
it is on my feet right now
california puss

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

Bought some Hush Puppies.
The sole is too deep for me.
I keep tripping up.

― gnarly sceptre, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:45 (nineteen years ago)

Slept OK last night
But still in a bleary haze
Coffee's not helping

― kenan, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

I'm dressed better on
casual Friday than I
have been dressed all week.

― kenan, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

drool on my pillow
dreaming about waking up
good morning, boner

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

lol the morningwood

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

baby woke early
maybe sick in the springtime
hello crankypants

― teeny, Friday, 23 March 2007 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

Sneezing all morning
Violent and frightening
Allergies are back

― kenan, Friday, 23 March 2007 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

Co-worker's warm lunch
smells good. I am so hungry.
Where's my friend? Let's eat.

― Ms Misery, Friday, 23 March 2007 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

every morning
jacking off in the shower
more bored than horny

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

do people actually get off in the shower? I never understood this one. The boring I understand...but the shower? You are upright, my goodness.

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

not a big deal
I masturbate everywhere
bed, garden, kitchen

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

List of calls to make
and emails to write; Monday's
soon enough, innit?

Tried halvah for the
first time today. "WAHT TEH FUCK"
at first, but then "MMMMM."

Fuck yourself, Bellsouth:
I'm cancelling home land-line
and you can't stop me!

"To Read" book pile climbs
to twenty. "Graffiti World"
makes it top-heavy.

― Rock Hardy, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

all over my desk
macadamia nutshells
oh my god i'm sick

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

this man is a god
nick, I approach you with gold
only to hump it

― dice in my pockets, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

while I was "busy"
in the garden he appeared
oops dude I'm sorry

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

web service client
length: one hundred thousand lines
error: "code too large"

"go home" Outlook says
dead on eightteen hundred hours.
it is mocking me.

― koogs, Friday, 23 March 2007 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

microwave, press start
take a shit while food's cooking
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

dvd choices:
james bond or pans labyrinth?
will let girlfriend choose.

― tom, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

i almost posted
something long-winded yet I
didn't click submit

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:58 (nineteen years ago)

I'm so glad that I
gave up being vegan cause
pizza night, bitches

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:58 (nineteen years ago)

oh the creepiness
of pet food stores in my hood
dust, disarray and

disheveled men who
can't look you in the eye, why
was vet's closed today?

― rrrobyn, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

I like this CD
It's from 1999
The Statue Factor

― Maria :D, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

Got rejected from
33 and 1/3, but
DREAM POLICE STILL RULES

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

bitlord minimized
i hover my mouse cursor
ninety-two percent

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

myspace login, go
hey new friend requests, oh boy
porn girls again, sigh

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

ilx click go
hit refresh once and again
still no new answers

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

yay all by myself
changed the cooler water tank
then ate a grapefruit

― Dimension 5ive, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

One city done, next
one on the way--and so the
world turns, weekendward.

― patita, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

number fifty two
waiting on the downtown line
litter on the curb

― sleeve, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

roll of paper towels
I took the last one off you
but won't replace it

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:34 (nineteen years ago)

That last word should've been "you", god damn it.

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

Watching the small clock
On the right of the taskbar
Pretending to work

― Oilyrags, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

Ten fifth grade students
Ask what we should be doing
And I have no fucking clue.

― aimurchie, Friday, 23 March 2007 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

Where is the remote
It's over there by the thing
Which thing do you mean.

― aimurchie, Friday, 23 March 2007 22:38 (nineteen years ago)

Where is the thingy
Not the thingy but you know
The thing that I need.

― aimurchie, Friday, 23 March 2007 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

open a bottle
with your teeth? easy, but take
care not to chip 'em.

― tom, Saturday, 24 March 2007 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

Posting on two threads
the bottle must be open
genie is not booze.

― aimurchie, Saturday, 24 March 2007 00:07 (nineteen years ago)

Toothy ow ow ow
one molar fallen to the
greater love for beer.

― aimurchie, Saturday, 24 March 2007 02:39 (nineteen years ago)

Goddamn Toshiba
DVD Player cannot
Handle widescreen films

― Oilyrags, Sunday, 25 March 2007 04:37 (nineteen years ago)

hows that possible?
it's a dvd player
you mean a real theatre?

― dice in my pockets, Sunday, 25 March 2007 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno duder
2.35 got all squashed
It looked like shit

― Oilyrags, Sunday, 25 March 2007 05:28 (nineteen years ago)

theres my finger
removing all your eye goob
you eat it

― SusanD, Sunday, 25 March 2007 05:30 (nineteen years ago)

it was dry
i would have done wet
i love you

― SusanD, Sunday, 25 March 2007 05:36 (nineteen years ago)

is that some baby thing, Susan?

― dice in my pockets, Sunday, 25 March 2007 06:14 (nineteen years ago)

nein, a cat

― SusanD, Sunday, 25 March 2007 06:18 (nineteen years ago)

nice cat mommy. :) I have eight over here, too many.

― dice in my pockets, Sunday, 25 March 2007 06:24 (nineteen years ago)

u have a lotta material for haiku!

― SusanD, Sunday, 25 March 2007 06:46 (nineteen years ago)

Sleepless in the dark
Want to talk to someone who
could know who I am

IPod is the friend
To whom I relate at night
or strangers I greet on Flickr

Late night time is cruel
ticks on til you go insane
alone wait for light

― Wiggy Woo, Sunday, 25 March 2007 09:35 (nineteen years ago)

nein, a cat

LOL I THOUGT U WERE TALKNG BOUT ANOTHER KIND OF PUSSIY

― 404 Error: Page Not Found, Monday, 26 March 2007 00:56 (nineteen years ago)

to let this thread fall
from the top of the page would
be a crying shame

― tom, Monday, 26 March 2007 20:53 (nineteen years ago)

Five minutes till four.
I dare not tally my work
for the day. Just leave.

― Ms Misery, Monday, 26 March 2007 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

Too much time on other threads,
scandals for today.
For now a sense of purpose.

― aimurchie, Monday, 26 March 2007 22:42 (nineteen years ago)

Window open for the cats
to sit on the porch
longing for experience.

― aimurchie, Monday, 26 March 2007 22:45 (nineteen years ago)

A car just drove by playing
"Ironic." It's been
years since I heard that shitpile.

― Abbott, Monday, 26 March 2007 23:03 (nineteen years ago)

Five five five five five
seven seven seven sev-
En five five five five

― Oilyrags, Monday, 26 March 2007 23:15 (nineteen years ago)

Totally awesome, awesome.
Totally awesome!
It's t-totally awesome!

― Abbott, Monday, 26 March 2007 23:17 (nineteen years ago)

hahahaha! OUCH.

― Oilyrags, Monday, 26 March 2007 23:24 (nineteen years ago)

At the back of the class,
Blue-eyed dark-haired prince,
Shame about the girlfriend.

― Roz, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 07:31 (nineteen years ago)

Sitting in lecture,
pretending to take notes,
by posting on ILX.

― Roz, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

I thought this drink was
One dollar forty-eight cents?
No. Two-Oh seven.

― S-, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 07:47 (nineteen years ago)

feel like a pervert
i put my dick in some pudding
i need therapy

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 07:55 (nineteen years ago)

enjoy it, my friend
there's nothing better I trust
nothing boring there

― dice in my pockets, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 08:00 (nineteen years ago)

i don't regret it
tapioca tickles me
don't tell anyone

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 08:06 (nineteen years ago)

christ, my fucking neck
pinched nerve or something, i think
unbearable pain

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 08:08 (nineteen years ago)

ouch that can't be good
sleeping badly could be it
try a neck pillow

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 08:14 (nineteen years ago)

up early today
needed good wake up music
melt banana yay!

― onimo, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 08:19 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

going to a dance
a glory full of dubstep
im fucking wasted

― dice in my pockets, Sunday, 15 April 2007 03:18 (nineteen years ago)

dinner was tasty
I ate until I burst; but
I'm hungry again

― bernard snowy, Sunday, 15 April 2007 03:27 (nineteen years ago)

Sneezing, sniffling,
Handkerchief wholly wetted out.
Time for a fresh one.

― Aimless, Sunday, 15 April 2007 03:56 (nineteen years ago)

hey aimless get good
im still waiting for my bud
dont know what to say

― dice in my pockets, Sunday, 15 April 2007 04:11 (nineteen years ago)

read seller feedback
sent from hong kong, not U.K
fucking lying cunt

― g-kit, Monday, 16 April 2007 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

Oh no, YouTube's down
I might have to read a book!
Phew, it's up again

― chap, Monday, 16 April 2007 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

another slow day
take another pretend dump
chapters on the john

― nickalicious, Monday, 16 April 2007 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

I love the way you
fill up from one end to the
other, ice cube tray.

― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 17 June 2007 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

He just ate at ten
father mistimes diaper change
baby pees on face

― humansuit, Sunday, 17 June 2007 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

When I was 19
I was an oystershucker
the job did not last

― novamax, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

hungry on late shift
system fucked so can't even
go and get some chips

― grimly fiendish, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

stopped at the red light
child crossing the street looks
smiles at my hair

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

sports desk in crisis
should offer to help them out
fuck piss bugger tits

― grimly fiendish, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

hurry, picture desk
process the cartoon so i
can send this last page

― grimly fiendish, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

very hungry, need
food, but no energy for
movement, so I slump

― Just got offed, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

visiting parents
time to leave, but wait! First I'll
pick some blueberries

― Rock Hardy, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

first edition done.
like a mook i will wander
off and have my break.

― grimly fiendish, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

ace xp

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 17 June 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

hello ILX
i am back for two more hours
of work and whinging

― grimly fiendish, Sunday, 17 June 2007 21:12 (nineteen years ago)

Prawn Ceylon curry,
As you filled my stomach, you
Inhabit my thoughts.

Mango Lassee, wow!
Sure didn't expect you to
Taste so goddamn great.

― Just got offed, Sunday, 17 June 2007 22:12 (nineteen years ago)

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