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TS: Fucking vs. Sucking

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both are really awesome! sometimes sucking feels impersonal in the way that a good intimate fuck doesnt but man it feels awesome to have all the attention on you sometimes too!

― 69, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

69 otm! also: 69 classified as sucking or is it a gray area?

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

"i choose....both!"

towlie otm

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

OMG YOU PEOPLE AND YR CRYPTIC XWORDS AFRAID TO GET "REAL"

― 69, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/9650/rollingstonessucking8wh.jpg vs http://991.com/newgallery/Big-Black-Songs-About-Fucki-349019.jpg

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

Wait. Are we talking about intercourse versus *getting sucked* or *giving head*?

― Jesse, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

honestly i think i gotta go with fucking, but there's really nothing better than sucking when it's on top of its game!

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

great suck admin cool boy!

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

songs about sucking is totally an album title waiting to be used, too

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

finally a readable thread on nu-ilx

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

this is a controversional thread!

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

also: fuckin'

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

i do not understand why this is a ts, if you have enough time you can basically do all of these things during one (1) date. be bold and live like it is shark week, dudes.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

also pete plz answer jesse's question

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

it's a pretty simple question guys: fuckin' or suckin'

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

i do not understand why this is a ts

hear hear!

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.vkgfx.com/misc/serious.jpg

― Ed, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

how is it simple, there are lots of variations on both themes. maybe if you'd eat some more pussy you'd know that mr. que.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

fucking>>>>>sucking>>>>>hand jobs.

― Drooone, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

Wait. Are we talking about intercourse versus *getting sucked* or *giving head*?

Yeah, there's really three things being compared here, and there's times I wld deffo rather give head than get it.

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

?!?

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

fucking>>>>>sucking>>>>>hand jobs.


that is very reductivist.

― Ed, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

oh hott kenan's here

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

getting and giving sucking (or, you know, muff-time) can be equally satisfying.

― Jesse, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

maybe you'd know that...

:|
B|

if you'd eat some more pussy

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

it's just a question

yes there are two kinds of sucking

but so what

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

jesse is otm!

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

muff otm

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

except for the use of the word "muff-time" which is some kind of yellow card as far as i am concerned.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

and most of the time i would rather give head than get it. that's why things never worked out between me and kenan, we would wind up going to bed angry, arguing, "you selfish asshole, you're ALWAYS giving me head."

― Jesse, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.activemusician.com/images/store/small/MC_BMUSA.gif

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

oh hott kenan's here

too bad i'm going home, no coming on the face for you!

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

IMPORTANT XPOST TO KENAN:

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/6987/yaaaaowkm9.png

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

I am currently using a borrowed vintage electric mistress.

― Ed, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

i'll just get someone else to do it, it's cool

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

can someone cite christgau's opinion here? he's a critic and his judgments really mean something

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

i shoot gummy bears now

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

Despite their disavowals of "progress," this proceeds as you'd figure--toward lyricism rather than commerciality or some such chimera. It's seldom hard or fast or chaotic, and if it was their sacred mission to humanize guitar noise, they've betrayed it like the reprobates they no doubt are. But if their vocation is beguiling song-music that doesn't sound like anything else or create its own rut, this reinforces one's gut feeling that they can do it forever. They can't, of course--nobody can. But the illusion of eternity has been music's sacred mission for a good long time. A

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

Doesn't it just get all mixed up together when everyone's behaving properly?

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

PRETZEL WALRUS XGAU'S OPINIONS ON FUCKING V SUCKING ARE USELESS HE HAS NO MORE AUTHORITY THAN, SAY, ME. NO, WE MUST LISTEN TO CHUCK KLOSTERMAN

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

i can't believe christgau gave handjobs an A!

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

I have a nice boyfriend and should appreciate him...rather then deal with weakling anons...

― Ed, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

aww sorry jesse i got called out i didnt try to ignore yr point of order

anyway whatever it doesnt matter just answer the q

― 69, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

that was wowee zowee he gave an A to. terror twilight is the real handjob.

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

there are some handjobs that deserve an A, often times they end with jizz in yr eye so it isn't always worth the effort tho.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

handjobs=lazy blowjob

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

oh man best polvo cover ever

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/9650/rollingstonessucking8wh.jpg got a C+ and http://eil.com/newgallery/Big-Black-Songs-About-Fucki-349019.jpg got an A- fyi

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

THAT IS WHY YOU COMBINE THE TWO JESUS GOD FUCK

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

this no xpost thing makes the conversation even more incomprehensible than it would be normally

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

JESUS GOD FUCK: THE NEW ALBUM FROM MINISTRY

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

i dunno schef, i thought you were onto something, big black + the stones is pretty much how i imagine tom and xtian's band will sound

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

who's the stones in that combo? tom?

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

then i'm definitely not onto something

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

oh man they're totally settling this debate RIGHT NOW

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

UH

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

i think it's stones=xtian, big black=tombot

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

tombot is big and black, true

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

Can we get back to the handjobs pls?

kthxbi

― Drooone, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

what do you want to discuss vis a vis handjobs then.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

no this is fucking vs sucking START A HANDJOBS THREAD OR USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION OK

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

IT WAS THE HANDJOB, AND IT WAS WORTH IT

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sorry.

― Drooone, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

listen i don't think the handjob question is really that off-limits on this thread, i mean it's part of the spectrum

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

fongs about sucking

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:02 (nineteen years ago)

racist

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

man, fuck racism

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

i mean handjob racism

― pretzel walrus, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

I would have sex with all this thread.

― Trayce, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:06 (nineteen years ago)

8. fong
7 up, 16 down


someone who is always there for you whenever you need them. Without a fongie-wongie life couldnt be any crazier

a fong wong
by Jnow Apr 20, 2003 email it

awes

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:06 (nineteen years ago)

wait sorry is "sucking" just "giving head in general" or are we talking a specific technique? what abt sucking other parts of the body? inquiring minds etc.

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:07 (nineteen years ago)

well obviously we're talking about toe sucking

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:07 (nineteen years ago)

wait now i'm lost

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

Are we allowed to introduce the notion, the ideal of spitting here?

― Drooone, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

obv you're talking about toe-sucking, apparently jesse is talking abt "muff-time" which in my experience is not centered around sucking

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

i could use a fong ;_;

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

Don't nobody have no babies from sucking.

― Eazy, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

sucking 8080

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

i don't even understand the concept of spitting, a) well then just don't do that if that is how you feel about it b) WHERE are you spitting it wtf c) seriously it's already in yr mouth what benefit do you have?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

you're a good girl, the schef.

― chaki, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:28 (nineteen years ago)

adam schefter's mom is never going to speak to him again if she googles his name

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

L0u1s Jagg3r RIP.

― John Justen, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:33 (nineteen years ago)

he would've had so much to say here

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:34 (nineteen years ago)

lj, fucking/sucking expert

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:35 (nineteen years ago)

gareth should do his impression. its really good!

― chaki, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:36 (nineteen years ago)

Mainly because I feel that he could contribute a great deal of first hand experience to this thread.

― John Justen, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:36 (nineteen years ago)

HAHA XPOST XPOST XPOST.

― John Justen, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:37 (nineteen years ago)

"first hand"

― John Justen, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:37 (nineteen years ago)

"right hand"

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:38 (nineteen years ago)

ts handies from bros vs. handies from hoes

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:41 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.theocracywatch.org/ralph_reed.jpg

― John Justen, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

Yep, spitting is always a downer. An unequivocal downer.

I feel so ashamed.

― Drooone, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:44 (nineteen years ago)

A specter is haunting ILX--the specter of l0uis jagg3r.

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:44 (nineteen years ago)

As a friend of mine recently said, if you're going to take the hit, spitting is not an option.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:47 (nineteen years ago)

it seems kind of rude too, besides the points i already raised? it's never actually occurred to me to do it so maybe i am the one missing out.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:51 (nineteen years ago)

spitting sucks

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:51 (nineteen years ago)

It is decidedly so.

― Drooone, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:52 (nineteen years ago)

HOW DO PPL FEEL ABOUT THE ALTOIDS THING IS THE NEXT TOPIC TO COVER

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:53 (nineteen years ago)

guys its lame but its not hitler or anything

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:53 (nineteen years ago)

Altoids = Tojo

― Michael White, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:54 (nineteen years ago)

I WAS ONCE TRIKED BY THE ALTOIDS

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:55 (nineteen years ago)

TS blowjobs vs. brojobs

― bernard snowy, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:56 (nineteen years ago)

Wrigley's Spearmint = Count Ciano

― Michael White, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:57 (nineteen years ago)

i mean like no bj at all is basically hitler amirite

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:57 (nineteen years ago)

did hitler like blowjobs? y/n

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

from goats

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

braunjobs

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:00 (nineteen years ago)

what the hell does this have to do with altoids

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:00 (nineteen years ago)

i mean like no bj at all is basically hitler amirite

Hitler+Stalin+Pol Pot+Genghis Khan+Leopold II+Attila+Naked Greased Weinstein Brothers

― Michael White, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

my hitler analogy was abt spitting im undecided on the altoids front

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

what the hell does this have to do with altoids

the schef (adam schefter ha ha) on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 7:00 PM (1 minute ago)

we're fress associating.

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

WILL DO FIELD REPORT, BACK IN 20

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

free

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:03 (nineteen years ago)

But max, in the winter of 1944, the Altoids Front was all that separated the Fellation heartland from the ravages of fascism.

― Michael White, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:07 (nineteen years ago)

michael think of me as switzerland in this scenario

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:09 (nineteen years ago)

thats how im known around campus anyway

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:13 (nineteen years ago)

"there goes max," they say, "the switzerland of blowjobs"

― max, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:13 (nineteen years ago)

good work everyone

― river wolf, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:19 (nineteen years ago)

i don't even understand the concept of spitting, a) well then just don't do that if that is how you feel about it b) WHERE are you spitting it wtf c) seriously it's already in yr mouth what benefit do you have?

You can discretely wipe your mouth with a towel, or whatever, while spitting. You don't have to like spit it on the wall or run to the toilet. The alternative is to do what most gay guys I know about do--don't get it in your mouth!

Does anyone else think that in the event of a BJ in casual sex (and probably other situations), the guy who is getting it is duty-bound to give fair warning before letting loose? And then to co-operate when the giver pulls it out?

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 00:07 (nineteen years ago)

the fair warning is also multifaceted -- it's also hot talk and a show of appreciation!

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 01:28 (nineteen years ago)

Kenan is right and looking at it that way, I say that if unsure of the way the giver will react, the fair warning is definitely the way to go!

― ENBB, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 01:45 (nineteen years ago)

man, sex is great.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 01:50 (nineteen years ago)

wow, this thread

(also the correct answer is "yes")

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 02:01 (nineteen years ago)

What thehell kind of field report is Curt1s off doing!?

― Trayce, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 02:51 (nineteen years ago)

heh. He got hung up, obv.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 02:59 (nineteen years ago)

the first non-sexual g00gle img result for suck and fuck:

http://static.flickr.com/28/45400993_368568d074_b.jpg

― the table is the table, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:06 (nineteen years ago)

eww sticky keyboardz

― ▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:08 (nineteen years ago)

the first non-sexualsensical g00gle img result for suck and fuck:

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:14 (nineteen years ago)

i can't believe this is happening.

― Surmounter, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:23 (nineteen years ago)

You don't have to like spit it on the wall

This would be so sassy, especially if the wall was a good distance away!

I bet Angelina Jolie does this.

― Eazy, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:25 (nineteen years ago)

This would be so sassy


Is it sassy? I'm not sure, but I also bet Angelina Jolie does it.

― Drooone, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://the-feeding-tube.com/media/1/20060919-Angelina-01.jpg

― the table is the table, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:30 (nineteen years ago)

Suckling FTW.

― libcrypt, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:51 (nineteen years ago)

i can't see that pic, but if it's a pic of angelina spitting on a wall i'm going to fall out of bed

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:55 (nineteen years ago)

damnnn. it's a pic of jolie lookin coy with her mouth open all suggestive.

― the table is the table, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 03:56 (nineteen years ago)

YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN SUCKING AND BETTER THAN FUCKING?????

[Removed Illegal Link]

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

GRRRRRR

YOUKNOWWHAT'SBETTERTHANSUCKINGANDBETTERTHANFUCKING????

[Removed Illegal Link]

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously, you know what would be better than sucking and fucking?? A link that worked!

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

guys. guess what? i heard there's something better than sucking and fucking.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 04:59 (nineteen years ago)

this is the thread where jesse learns to post a link!

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

Grrr..

The problem was that I my link read CUDDLING!!! and it seems that the exclamation points are illegal.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:04 (nineteen years ago)

yeah all punctuation is best left out

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:11 (nineteen years ago)

Sex is kind of great. I have been having a little re-awakening. It's all I want to do! I need to find a regular sumfin-sumfin.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

:)

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

69 OTM

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:24 (nineteen years ago)

Yep, sex. What's up with that d00d in that show Dexter wot doesn't like ze sex? what a virgin.

Speaking of virgin's, a guy I know had one of those t shirts that all your m8s write when you leave school, and someone had written: "Have fun Matty, you fucking virgin."
And he used to get around in the shirt all the time. I kind of respected him for that.

― Drooone, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 05:25 (nineteen years ago)

69 is the root of 8 something. hahaha what a crappy joke, no?

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 06:42 (nineteen years ago)

No it's awesome. Everything in this post is awesome. (excluding what I've said, coz I tried to perilously steer the ship towards handies)

― Drooone, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 06:46 (nineteen years ago)

thread, not post...

― Drooone, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 06:50 (nineteen years ago)

"spitting" assumes a kind of accuracy and tidiness that i am not convinced is possible here

what is the altoids thing

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 09:57 (nineteen years ago)

i will be playing the part of gabbneb today

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 09:58 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.utoronto.ca/ams/news/138/winterpast/File0002_go.jpg

muff time!

― tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

i have the best of both worlds cos i suck at fucking

― ken c, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.filanthropy.com/conflict/Images/Animated/alizee.gifhttp://www.filanthropy.com/conflict/Images/Animated/alizee2.gif

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

ok actually if "spitting" means "animatedly and demonstratively spitting it against a wall" i think i'm kind of into it though not enough to actually do it.

also 69 8080

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

8080 she seems pretty good at her job

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

she probably would like some pocky

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

does anyone ever like "shotgun," instead of spitting/swallowing? like a sexy gender-reversed facial?

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

no

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

OH LOOK AT JOE "MAX" COOL OVER HERE WITH HIS TERSE ONE-WORD REBUTTALS! YOURE WHATS AWESOME ABOUT NU-ILX

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ilovehou.com/twonicknames/gifsite/1/twonicks/joe-cool2.jpg

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

RED FISH OTM

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

WITH HIS TERSE ONE-WORD REBUTTALS

i think that one was called for

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

whatever kenan youre gonna get curious and try it

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

PATENT PENDING BTW

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

kenan strikes me as a dude who has already done that like 800000000 times.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

Which is admittedly kind of hot.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

hahahahaha love this thread

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

Alizee's ass OTM.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

whatever kenan youre gonna get curious and try it

JESUS DUDE DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

it is literally impossible to stop staring at that fish

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

wait kenan i don't think i understand the implications of what you just said but the image it is putting in my head is grossing me out a LOT

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

i think people shotgun a lot.

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

don't they call that snowballing?

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

(and i don't wanna blow my rep or anything, but christ no i've never done that, semen isn't THAT interesting)

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

you would know, wouldn't you?

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

semen is gross

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

it really isn't particularly gross, guys

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

see? if kenan had just said that instead of MAX being lame etc, we wouldnt have to speculate as to who's done it etc etc

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

dude like 6-xpost jesus im no good at ILX anymore

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

FUCK nu ilx it SUCKS

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

yes duh 69 that is called snowballing get it together

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

ban max

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

whatever i prefer not to talk about this unpleasant spitting in the face thing and move to discuss c on t.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

it really isn't particularly gross, guys

heh. ally + semen 2gether 4ever

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

look broseph i dont think its the kind of thing i have to defend my non-interest in

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

c/t A+

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

ALWAYS A GOOD TIME

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

aww he said broseph ALLES IST FORGIVEN

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

plus we agree abt c on t

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

the downside to c on t is that if you sit around too long without cleaning up you get ITCHY which isn't very sexy

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.rockabillyhall.com/buddyknoxjerry1976.jpg

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

so it's not A++, is what i am saying

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

frank sinatra once ate scrambled egss off someone's t's: A+++

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

c on t's male: A+++

c on t''s female: A-/B+

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

KENAN ON THREADS LIKE THEESE _ WHY WE HAVE ILXX.

― 404 Error: Page Not Found, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

i cant believe that cleaning up isnt the first thing you do after the c is all over the ts

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

WHO IS 404 ERROR: PAGE NOT FOUND?

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

mr que you kind of baffle me sometimes

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

i cant believe that cleaning up isnt the first thing you do after the c is all over the ts

max on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 10:46 AM (28 seconds ago)

sometimes crusty is sexy

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

mr que you kind of baffle me sometimes

ghost rider on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 10:48 AM (17 seconds ago)

WHY DUDE?

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

i mean c on t's A- but eggs on t's A+++????

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

and i like eggs!

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

CRUSTIES ARE NEVER SEXY

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

JESUS

REVISED POST

c on t's from the male perspective: A+++

c on t''s from the female perspective: A-/B+

Mr. Que on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 10:45 AM (3 minutes ago)

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

I cant believe that cleaning up isnt the first thing you do after the c is all over the ts

That was my first thought too. I have no problem with c on t but am a fan of the quick clean up. I can't believe I'm posting this.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

crusty sex is only good if yr in a squat eating veggie chili and listening to Crass

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

also who cleans up after the c on the t man or woman?

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

AHEM WHO ARE YOU TO SPEAK FOR THE LADLES, MW?

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

ok the reason you wouldn't clean up immediately
a) you are drunk, and want another drink--priorities
b) it is kind of insulting to immediately get up and go wash yourself off after sexual activity, there's like at least a 2 minute rule, dude

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

Why all this talk about cheddar on tacos on a sex thread?

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

PRETZEL WALRUS OTM

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

mark i am a ladle and i rated it higher than you did, i mean b??? that is ridiculous.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

I WAS JUST TRYING TO SUM THINGS UP PRETZEL WALRUS

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

wait harrison ford imdb jpeg urgent need

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

also i said A-/B+ which typically means you get to pick the grade based on your own perspective. you people are becoming sour and pedantic.

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

OK - I agree with you on the 2 min minimum thing. As long as you're not talking about lingering for like 20 mins or something then a little waiting is just common courtesy I suppose.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

b) it is kind of insulting to immediately get up and go wash yourself off after sexual activity, there's like at least a 2 minute rule, dude

CONSIDERATION EXACTLY

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/158/421226508_7e287c479e_o.png

MR Q I SAID A+ GODDAMNIT, A- IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT I SHOULD KNOW

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

AWWW CHEER UP DUDE GO C ON SOME T'S OR EAT SOME HASHBROWNS OR SOMETHING

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

b) it is kind of insulting to immediately get up and go wash yourself off after sexual activity, there's like at least a 2 minute rule, dude

i totally buy this but i think c on t's is the exception to the rule. the drink thing obv acceptable, but i dont think anyone would find it rude if you tidied up all the jism off your chest.

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

THAT WAS TO MR QUE I THINK ILX2 I HATE U

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

(i could get myself into so much trouble on this thread)
(happy home life >>>> internet lolz)
(lj, take note)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

i'm not upset, i just think y'all are being pedantic about c'in on the tees

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

the only time immediate clean up is ok is if it is in yr eye cos that shit SUCKS

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.rice.edu/projects/depts/ehs/Images/Eyewash.gif

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

There is unrest in the forest
There is c'ing on the trees

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

xpost: Never in my life did I think I would ever see a c in e apparatus.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

that's just unnecessary, buy some visine

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

visine doesn't FLUSH JIZZ DOES IT

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

it has been working ok for me

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

fuckin, suckin, it's all the same
livin with louie dog's the only way to stay sane

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

those things are the one advantage to facials in chemistry labs

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

clean-up is impt for the man too if he has done any kissing w/woman afterwards; i went out to a party once w/o having thought of this

(c) 2007 the tmi king

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

ally if you don't flush it you'll develop JIZZ CATARACTS

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

8====D <<<<<<<< O-:

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

yup. that's where the D goes. It goes in the O.

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

ascii penis always looks so happy

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

dude i invented that emoticon

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

oh or maybe i didnt fine

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

;-/

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

B-P

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

that emoticon was invented in like 1973 when the first military person got on the internets and sent a classified e-mail to some other military person, let's be honest.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

How come my brain wandered to the subejct of crusty eggs on t?

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

"dude i invented that emoticon" is the new "i would just like to point out that i have been otm on this thread"

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

69 presents: we invented the ascii penis

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

OMG LOL i just got off base :D

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

[Removed Illegal Link]

― ken c, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

lol
http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=31569

― ken c, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

ZOMG GO TO A TAGO MAGO DANCE YOU GAY 8=====================D

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

guys don't ruin the thread ok

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

gchat does terrible, terrible things to the ascii penis btw

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

BROKEDICK MTN

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

not that terrible!

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

it might look happy but the bro it's attached to is most assuredly not

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

lets get back to the subjects at hand: sucking and fucking aka mufftime/bjs and boning

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

i can't get on gmail today at all, again. plz to not rub in what i am missing in ascii insane land ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

"rub in" hahahaha

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

the mental images on this thread. Man alive.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

i miss this thread already

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

the only time immediate clean up is ok is if it is in yr eye cos that shit SUCKS

I think anywhere above the neck is ok for immediate cleanup.

― tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

I think it's the Sinatra factor rather than the eggs or the tits that makes it A+++.

― tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

bullshit^^^^^

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

i think i would rather eat e off t w/ sinatra than by myself

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

eh if it is in yr hair wiping up isn't really going to help you too much so i'm a little laissez faire about that one.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

well, no, shampooing is the best option for that

― tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, hair pretty much just has to wait til the next wash. Until then, just brush it out when dry. Anyway, I think most any wiping up that happens IN THE ROOM w/ yr partner is okay, the two minute rule ought to apply mostly to leaving the room for someplace with running water.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

for this exercise, you will need:

a nice fluffy towel
a package of baby wipes or similar
a #2 pencil (optional)

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

oh wait so were making a distinction btw "wiping up" cleaning up and "washing up" cleaning up?

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

we're just trying to say you don't have to sit in it until you get itchy

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

Yes hello this is the Allyzay/TokyoRozemary/Pythy advice show! Next caller please!

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

listen apparently some of you are very prepared every time you get it on, but i for one do not just carry towels and baby wipes with me everywhere i go, so sometimes things just gotta make do.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

Altho luckily in public bathrooms you don't even have to leave the room to wash up! PROBLEM SOLVED LET'S HAVE LUNCH NOW

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

i prefer to come out as disheveled as possible if i'm doing this kind of thing in a public bathroom, i mean why not.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

public bathrooms = gross for cuddling

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

Wardrobe readjustment as you leave the bathroom is a-okay here, but not so much visible bodily fluids, as I think (HOPE?) we can agree.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

listen apparently some of you are very prepared every time you get it on

boy scout stylee, baby

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

i've really, really not been in a visible bodily fluids type situation when leaving a public restroom is the thing. public restroom sex = y, public restroom blowjob = ?? do not really want to kneel on floor of public restroom.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

thats why you keep a foam gardener's pad in yr bag DUH

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:59 (nineteen years ago)

i'm gonna need a bigger purse

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

Knee pads can be packed into a smaller package than one of those foam squares, though.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

uh hi, long-time first-time here, i just want to know how long i should "stay in" afterwards, i hope you know what i mean, thanks for any help you can give, just call me trolly mcboasts-a-lot

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

omg yeah that gmail chat thing! i think i cried a little when i saw brokedick mtn!

― ken c, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

TILL SHE WAKES UP OMG

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

lmao

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

get some blow-up knee pads then, they take up less space

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

69 otm

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

Those inflatable wings that kids use when learning to swim would make great kneepads.

― Ed, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

ok guys the thing is, no.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.fafcosolar.com/images/kid-swimmies.gif

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.wacky-packages.org/images/inflatables/swim-aids.jpg

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

lol aids

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

aaaand SCENE.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

Snowballing =/= spitting on face.

As far as being prepared, my ex bf would always grab a towel as soon as it looked like things were starting to heat up. It was not much of an interruption as say, putting on a condom.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

well it strikes me that that depends on where you keep your towels and condoms doesn't it

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

In my fanny pack.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:24 (nineteen years ago)

(Do Brits call them "fanny packs"?)

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

Here's a thought: keep secksay stuff in the bedroom pls so as not to go rummaging around the house when you need it. Grr.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

Well, the bathroom was right off the bedroom. But there was usually a towel on the weight bench in the bedroom, so it was no problem.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:27 (nineteen years ago)

Nope - they call them bum bags.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:27 (nineteen years ago)

ass purse

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

baby got backpack

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.stahss.com/sticks/hobo.jpg

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

I wondered how that would work.

It's still odd to me that "fanny" is a dirty word, considering that here it sounds so prim and grandmotherly.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha, a prim and grandmotherly fanny

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

Here's a thought: keep secksay stuff in the bedroom pls so as not to go rummaging around the house when you need it. Grr.

And when you find yourself fucking in the living room? The parlor? The library? The conservatory? The foyer?

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

just strew birth control all over your house.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

heh. With a lead pipe.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

foyer-fucking responsible for 75% of planned parenthood's workload as it turns out

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

"Mrs. Peacock did it in the conservatory."

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

i would f/s ms scarlet

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

Why does Planned Parenthood need to get involved if you're fucking the foyer...?

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

When fucking in the conservatory, rub some dirt on your spattered parts and move on.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

I believe MW really has one of each of those rooms in his home.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

"spattered"?

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

I wish, nickalicious, though a coitorium really might [s]be a nice addition to[/s] raise the value of the house.

Watching 'Rome' made me wonder how I would feel about having servants watch me fornicate.

"I say, Jeeves, could you fetch the lady a towel?"

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

And doesn't 'fuckin' in the foyer' roll off the tongue nicely?

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

fornicate in the foyer

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

vadge in the vestibule

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

anal in the atrium

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

cockslap in the conservatory

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

poppage in the pantry

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

yeah why would you use cunnilingus there when you can invent "cockslap"

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

it's a technique, i can show you some time

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

nonces in the narthex

― Will M., Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

mr que hardly invented cockslap

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha, a prim and grandmotherly fanny

GARU G to thread.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

i should've saved that one for a priest related thread, oh well

― Will M., Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

mr que hardly invented cockslap

Yeah, wasn't that P. Diddy and Ma$e?

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:53 (nineteen years ago)

cockslap is as old as time itself

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:54 (nineteen years ago)

(I am imagining that Tombot is currently in the midst of an extended duck-and-cover to fend of the impending Mr. Que cockslap.)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

So...cockslap: C/D?

To the face?

To the posterior?

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

cunnilingus doesn't roll off my tongue the way cockslapping does

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

I can't believe I read this entire thread.

― milo z, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

In the beginning was the cockslap, and the cockslap was with God, and the cockslap was God.

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

dr. morbius was right, yo

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

cunnilingus doesn't roll off my tongue the way cockslapping does

I suspect you're doing it wrong.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

oh wait, is that what cunnilingus is? i just wikipediaed it. shit, that's crazy!

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:58 (nineteen years ago)

XP TO NON-PUSSY EATING MR. QUE GODDAMN IT NU-ILX WITH YOUR LOGOUTS I WANT TO MURDER YOU

― pretzel walrus, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:58 (nineteen years ago)

Is TMI-Day almost over?

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

dude the question at hand is cockslap c/d

― max, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

Rutting in the rumpus room.

― Eazy, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

hahahaha, guys, cunnilingus, rolling off the tongue, eh? EH!?!?!

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

shut up pussy

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

man mr que just really hates pussy!

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

c/shut/tongue

FIXED

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

http://pds2.egloos.com/pds/1/200511/06/59/a0007559_1417767.jpg

"Why, Mr. Que? What have I dont you?"

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

and the winner be -- plucking!

― t**t, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

... I don't even know what that could be. Or rather, what it could be isn't very sexy.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.brightmobile.com/images/tweezers.jpg

NOT SEXY

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

plus dudes one brow so better than two

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

ok not necessarily down with bangin' the sasquatch, either

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

stay outta my kitchen dan

― 69, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

i'm not even sure the sasquatch exists

― river wolf, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

It's a pity that 'sasquatch thatch' doesn't rhyme.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

"sasquatch crotch" does!

― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, Rock. Now I can go and quietly pluck my eyeballs out of my head.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

...and could be useful!

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

How ever could that be useful, kenan?

― Michael White, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

da DA da DA da Kenan's eyeballs
da DA da DA da DA Sasquatch,
da DA da DA da hoots and catcalls
da DA da DA da stinky crotch,
"LYSOL DOUCHE!"

I'll leave the details to someone else.

― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

Friggin' in the riggin'

― kingfish, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/phil.and.andrew/BirdCamApr30%20-%20eggs3.jpg

― the table is the table, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

Testicules in the vestibules?

― Eazy, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 22:35 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

guys i just reread this whole thread

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 25 June 2007 22:44 (eighteen years ago)

and?

― hstencil, Monday, 25 June 2007 22:46 (eighteen years ago)

that's it. no one really wanted to get into my altoids question

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 25 June 2007 22:51 (eighteen years ago)

okay i must've missed that one.

― hstencil, Monday, 25 June 2007 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

bangin' the sasquatch = still NO

― HI DERE, Monday, 25 June 2007 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

i can't imagine the altoids thing really does much. also it was binaca what was talked about on my middle school bus.

― ghost rider, Monday, 25 June 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

WHICH LADY PART IS TEH SASQUATCH?

― KANTLIPS, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:01 (eighteen years ago)

ID HIT THAT.

― KANTLIPS, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:03 (eighteen years ago)

SUP KANTLIPS

― KOOL-AID MAN, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:04 (eighteen years ago)

guys poll

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:10 (eighteen years ago)

is what this thread should be

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:10 (eighteen years ago)

like there is really a wrong answer to this question.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:13 (eighteen years ago)

TS: Rape vs. consent

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:17 (eighteen years ago)

I regret posting that.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:17 (eighteen years ago)

i prefer sucking personnaly.. but im like pizza hut stuffed crust pizza you gotta eat it crust first... (i have smegma)

― sonicpuffin, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

i would just like to point out that i was otm on this thread

― max, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:28 (eighteen years ago)

^ good work

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:29 (eighteen years ago)

dude i invented that emoticon

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:31 (eighteen years ago)

you invented shit, dicklips

― max, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

wow that was agressive

― max, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

i dont take it back though

― max, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

Dud=fucking ass then getting sucked. Or getting ass fucked then being expected to suck. No.

― Jesse, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:52 (eighteen years ago)

ASS TO MOUTH

― max, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 01:56 (eighteen years ago)

WAY TO DESTROY THE MAJESTIC INNOCENCE OF THIS THREAD, DUDES.

― John Justen, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 02:25 (eighteen years ago)

jesse... can't you wash up between the fucking and the sucking? Won't take long.

― kenan, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 04:17 (eighteen years ago)

you're right, though, in principle.

― kenan, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 04:19 (eighteen years ago)

uh so NYWAY

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 26 June 2007 05:48 (eighteen years ago)

i almost choked on a mouthful of tea whilst reading this whole thread, i was laughing so hard.

personally, i don't see why it is ever necessary to take sides.

― Rubyred, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 06:31 (eighteen years ago)

Of course you can wash up, but I was talking with a friend yesterday about how some guys are all nonchalant about going ass-to-mouth and it's just gross. I have been with a guy or two who was not at all reluctant to go down on me in the a2m fashion. It's fine if they want to do that, but I'm not gonna be kissing that mouth.

― Jesse, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:52 (eighteen years ago)

personally, i don't see why it is ever necessary to take sides

because, judging from the amount of viagra spam I get, for some, sides have to be taken

― Ed, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:58 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

there is a post on this thread where i am a liar!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:03 (eighteen years ago)

should we guess?

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:04 (eighteen years ago)

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e391/marthasminions/130-cats-3.jpg

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:05 (eighteen years ago)

it's either "finally a readable thread on nu-ilx" or "it is kind of insulting to immediately get up and go wash yourself off after sexual activity, there's like at least a 2 minute rule, dude"

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

Ally discovered the magic of keeping baby wipes next to the bed

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

you're bad at guessing

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

adam schefter's mom is never going to speak to him again if she googles his name

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, March 27, 2007 6:30 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:09 (eighteen years ago)

hey dudes i am so fucking bored in this SAS class right now

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:09 (eighteen years ago)

i'm forming a list today of things i need to practice

1) cussing
2) guessing

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:10 (eighteen years ago)

SASS class

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:10 (eighteen years ago)

you're also bad at guessing

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

i mean christ i cant believe i am conscious

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

i'm surprised by that fact every single day of my life

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

guys i just reread this whole thread

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, June 25, 2007 10:44 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

Ally, this thread is such a star turn for you. A fine moment. Remember to thank the Academy.

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

pete i read your thread like once a month fyi

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:12 (eighteen years ago)

it's never actually occurred to me to do it
<3

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

have you tried yr snowballing idea yet y/n

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

So yeah this was one of the greatest threads ever

― John Justen, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:16 (eighteen years ago)

i've really, really not been in a visible bodily fluids type situation when leaving a public restroom is the thing. public restroom sex = y, public restroom blowjob = ?? do not really want to kneel on floor of public restroom.
-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, March 28, 2007 3:58 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark

― Jordan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

u_u

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

jordan beat me to that one. ;_;

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

Those inflatable wings that kids use when learning to swim would make great kneepads.

-- Ed, Wednesday, March 28, 2007 11:09 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link
ok guys the thing is, no.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, March 28, 2007 11:15 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

getting closer?

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

if you don't tell us, we're just going to keep guessing

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

wait doesnt "u_u" mean u got me

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

well obviously we're talking about toe sucking

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:07 (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

wait doesnt "u_u" mean u got me

if so, pics plz

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

publicbathroomjizzmop.jpg

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

ok this thread like subtly changed in the past five minutes

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

OK LET'S BE COOL HERE GUYS

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

Well, now I'd say that

oh hott kenan's here
-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, March 27, 2007 9:48 PM (5 months ago)

is likely to be an accurate answer as well.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

pete when kenan and louis show up to talk about intercourse it is officially never, ever "subtle"

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

sorry... sorry. I'll get my coat.

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

ewww you just said intercourse

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

I'm going back to the safety of my free bacon night thread.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

look at that I just said a thing that wasn't WHY DON'T YOU EAT SHIT YOU FUCKED-UP IDIOT even though that's what I really wanted to say to everyone! Things are getting better all the time

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:31 (eighteen years ago)

I was trying to find an image to allude to the Humpty Dance and, I'm sorry, but this is what I found:

http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/1347/humpty35percent5sc.gif

― Eazy, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:31 (eighteen years ago)

xp dude that is cheating

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:32 (eighteen years ago)

I know
I really need to remember to eat lunch before dealing with the kenans of the world

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

GUYS IT'S TIME TO BE COOL

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

Spitting jizz against a wall sounds like some kind of fucked up Yoko Ono/Actionist thing

― milo z, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

I should remember to eat lunch myself, I think. :(

I officially went Too Far. Sorry to Ally and Tom both.

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

i'm still intrigued by the spitting jizz across the room thing

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

does the lady get bonus points for a high arc?

should a dartboard be involved?

― milo z, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:35 (eighteen years ago)

yes to all of that

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.riverjunction.com/catalog/saloon/spittoon.jpg

^^ok how awesome and disturbing would this be

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

a jizzoon

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

ok guys i am getting the fuuuuuuck out of here PEACE

― 69, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

wherever you go make sure it's not japan

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

see, the cats would just get into that and everyone would be unhappy

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/90/Devourworlds.png

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

didn't we establish that the answer's 'fucking' anyway?

my erotic subtlety is clearly so sophisticated that nobody knows when it's tumescing.

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

ugh dnw

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

NEVER TYPE THAT SENTENCE AGAIN LOUIS JAGGER.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

IF YOU DO I WILL CONTINUE TO UNGOOGLEPROOF YOUR NAME ON THIS THREAD.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

it is officially time to ditch the entire board again.

Jagger you're really utterly worthless except as an incredibly powerful irritant to remind me to get back to work.

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

Ban Lou1s J@gger.

― milo z, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

xpost: well done for being a good sport, now go back to your smug superiority complex and thank your lucky stars you don't have to deal with filth like me any more

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:53 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.authenticsportscollectibles.com/store/images/01500_mannphs008031-L.jpg

― brownie, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:54 (eighteen years ago)

don't fuck with Galactus, dude

― kenan, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:54 (eighteen years ago)

i can't believe this is happening.
-- Surmounter, Tuesday, March 27, 2007 11:23 PM (Tuesday, March 27, 2007 11:23 PM) Bookmark Link

― gabbneb, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

So yeah this WAS one of the greatest threads ever

-- John Justen, Wednesday, August 29, 2007 7:16 PM (42 minutes ago)

― John Justen, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

this is one of the first threads that i contributed to extensively on ILE

― max, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

O thread, the lols you bring!

― Laurel, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 20:48 (eighteen years ago)


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