DUDES: do you pee sitting down by default?

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Poll Results

Option	Votes
Standing	68
Pee sitting down	13

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:35 (eighteen years ago)

WTF

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

I voted standing, but lately I've taken to peeing sitting down when I wake up in the middle of the night and don't want to bother opening my eyes wide enough to make out the contours of the toilet bowl.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

this is a very larry david question

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

What about "Crouching in the underbrush?" Where is "Lying in a pool of my own filth"? I REFUSE TO VOTE IN THIS POLL.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

me: it seems like it'd suck for a guy, i mean it gets splashy
Jon: my penis drops into the water
me: IF it gets splashy
lololol
Jon: CF ALSO BIG BALLS
me: it just seems more inconvenient, also wouldn't you have to sit all weird and kind of wide legged just to make that even work?
it's like WHAT
me: i'm posting this to your poll

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

oh noes

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

guys poop sitting down, lady

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

If I don't have my glasses or contacts it is v. v. necessary. Nothing in the bathroom is safe.

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

well i hope when you poop you don't dangle all yr boy parts down into the water like you'd have to when you peed, is the point here.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

so if a guy is doing a poop and then he has to pee does he just pee sitting down or get up and turn around?

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

o that is a good question

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

i think 'jon' is very insecure about his manparts

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

no it isn't!

xp

― admrl, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

HI IM JESSE MONSTER AND THIS IS THE TOILET CAMERA

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

guys you pee before you make a deposit what is so hard about this

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

GOD CAN'T YOU EVEN SPELL MY NAME RIGHT?

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

do you srsly think that is a good question??? omg you fuckers are so retarded

river wolf otm thanks for saying it so i dont have to

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

so I am guessing ally and I go into the "fuck but wouldn't marry" category.

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

story of my life

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

wait that is the opposite of the story of my life

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

its pathetic that youd even have to guess

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

your fathers are all shaking their heads at you right now

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

you pee sitting down if you are also laying pipe, extra steps are laborious and unnecessary

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

^^^ this is true

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

I dunno if I'd lose sleep over this loss, ally. beartrap

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

see, i knew there would be dissent.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

I was about to post something to the effect of wtf re: having to sit down to pee in the middle of the night to make sure it goes in the toilet bowl but then I remembered when I peed in the beanbag chair and so decided to uh post this instead?

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:47 (eighteen years ago)

Kenan learned a different meaning of 'laying pipe' than I did.

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:47 (eighteen years ago)

dude i think that counts as an extra step that was laborious & unecessary

xps

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:47 (eighteen years ago)

ITS CALLED A LIGHT SWITCH

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:47 (eighteen years ago)

I DONT WANT WET BALLS

HEY REMEMBER WHEN I CONTENDED THAT LEAVING THE SEAT HOW YOU USED IT LIMITED THE TOTAL NUMBER OF SEAT MOVES?

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:48 (eighteen years ago)

STACKING WOOD

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:49 (eighteen years ago)

sometimes i pee sitting down if i feel like having a quick read, i.e. nat'l geographic's jamestown cover story. i guess i could read it on the couch but that mag was made for the bathroom. also: espn the magazine.

― félix pié, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:49 (eighteen years ago)

ilx has completed its transition into becoming the man show

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

There is no splashing when peeing from a standing position. The urine stream is so concentrated that any splashing occurs underwater since the stream hits the water so forcefully. And if for some reason the stream isn't fast and concentrated, splashing still doesn't occur since the source is too weak.

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

None of this should detract from the very real possibility of accidentally flushing your own balls.

― admrl, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:51 (eighteen years ago)

right now my bathroom reading is this

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/0525949615.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_V45481241_SS500_.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:51 (eighteen years ago)

PP, citations plz

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:51 (eighteen years ago)

why would you flush while you're still sitting down?!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

People get really mad at me when I pee sitting down at the urinal.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

because you're british?

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

girls just don't understand boys at all

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

my roommate's boyfriend leaves the seat up EVERY TIME. It is like "DUDE I KNOW WHO IS DOING THIS."

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

mars/venus

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

dude this whole 'wet balls' thing is a complete myth

anyway will you all stop posting about shit & urine & start posting on my (unanswered & therefore embarassing) huck finn & mormons thread, not being vain, its just that at the very least im sure god will have more respect for you if you do.

xps

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:53 (eighteen years ago)

dude this whole 'wet balls' thing is a complete myth

NBO

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:53 (eighteen years ago)

rong rong rong

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:53 (eighteen years ago)

i can't believe none of you has ever had a shit so big it caused splashback

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:53 (eighteen years ago)

oh i don't care about the seat up or down, i mean i don't understand people who apparently just like back up into the toilet and don't even look at it before using it. i am just worried about people who are sitting and flushing all at the same time.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:54 (eighteen years ago)

Ladies - by following these simple instructtions, we too can have it both ways. http://myvag.net/pee/standing/ And yes, I will most likely have to try this later because . . . well, because I can!

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:54 (eighteen years ago)

oh hi dere xp

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:54 (eighteen years ago)

NOT a Tuomas thread?

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:55 (eighteen years ago)

WHY WOULD I DO THAT

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:55 (eighteen years ago)

I have no idea but apparently there are women out there who want to!

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:56 (eighteen years ago)

sitting on a public toilet, tucking motion, trying not to touch the inside of the bowl with my penis eeeeeeeeee

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

KENAN

DO NOT CALL TAKING A SHIT "LAYING PIPE"

"LAYING PIPE" IS AN AMERICAN EUPHEMISM FOR "FUCKING"

THANK YOU

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

DUDES: do you put down toilet paper on the seat when you shit in public places

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

Where does peeing into an empty bottle in the backseat of a Chevy conversion van on I64 westbound fit into this?

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:58 (eighteen years ago)

i'm afraid to answer that question
xpost both of those last two

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:58 (eighteen years ago)

it just doesn't, nick

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:58 (eighteen years ago)

"LAYING PIPE" IS AN AMERICAN EUPHEMISM FOR "FUCKING"
Thanks, ILE. You teach me wonderful new things each and every day.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

Cursory seat wipe only; what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Nick: in a Mike Watt song.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

i think it's crucial to perfect the 'hover' maneuver over public toilet seat, in the event a seat is dirty

― félix pié, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

peeing in bottle only shameful if you're actually, like, near a bathroom

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

omfg wtf is wrong w/ kenan i tht he just meant if u gotta pee in the middle of doin it u sit down cuz u got a boner

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

thats the useful 'tuck'

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

Between being quite tall and my aim not being so good anyway, I can end up being a bit splashy if I don't sit down. I can't use urinals at all (I tend to dribble a little as well) and it's quite annoying having to wait for a free loo when in pub toilets.

― The Wayward Johnny B, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

DUDES: do you put down toilet paper on the seat when you shit in public places

no, I've trained myself to not care as I ride the subway every day :(

hover and lay paper if there's caca tho

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

Urban Dictionary seems to agree with you, but I must protest that "laying pipe" is a better metaphor for taking a shit than it is for fucking. I mean, logically.

many beartraps

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

boner peeing - tips plz?

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

Never peed in a bottle, but I take every opportunity to pee outdoors even when not strictly necessary.

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i cut the top off a mountain dew bottle once and peed in it because the bathroom was like a million hours away

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

Also:

why would you flush while you're still sitting down?!

SHAME

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

jack off?

xxxpost

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

bend forward but be careful not to pee in your gob

― félix pié, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

i also i can guarantee i'm taller than you dude and i can still hit a urinal, wtf

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

I think I got it confused with "Burying some cable".

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:02 (eighteen years ago)

haha how tall do you have to be to be too tall to piss in a urinal!?!?

xpost

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:02 (eighteen years ago)

seated peeing w/ boner == topologically impossible

if you actually care to get it in the toilet, i mean

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:02 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i cut the top off a mountain dew bottle once and peed in it because the bathroom was like a million hours away

you were a million miles from outside? or are you a pussy that doesn't pee outside?

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:02 (eighteen years ago)

alright wtf are you guys paranoid about yr scrotum or something??? ive never encountered any trouble with the babyknockers.

a little water will not destroy you.

& btw guys pretending that their flaccid dicks are so big they cant help but submerge into toiletwater - i laugh at you.

ok like a billion xps here i have vista alright go easy on me

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

boner peeing - tips plz?

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:00 PM (1 minute ago)

off your apt balcony

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

some guys i knew in high school made a car urinal, which was PVC pipe that you could take the top off of and pee in. it had tubing out the bottom, with a valve, so you could stick it out the window and drain it.

then, when they got to college, they sold it to some freshmen as a beer bong

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

no, I've trained myself to not care as I ride the subway every day :(

what the hell do you wear to work??

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

I pee outside because no urinal can withstand my mighty spray

-- [url=[Removed Illegal Link] Bunyan, Wednesday, April, 2007 3:03 PM (5 seconds ago)

[hline]

LOL
xpost

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

no i was outside, in a semi-crowded area, and there were cops. i'd tell you where but it's actually pretty embarassing

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

does anyone else get a weird feeling if they pee too quickly after ejaculating?

i call this "crossing the streams"

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

god damn you nu-ilx {RIP hline}

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

another good reason for sitdown when boner peeing is u can read a non-porno mag about like iraq or something to get ur wang to go down

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

strongo, everyone, i think

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

btw strongo as far as laying down the tp goes, i did that till i was 11 or so, after that i submit you are a total pussy if you do it

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

DO THE MATH:

ERECT PENIS = PIPE

SEMI-SOLID TURD = CABLE

Also, WTF - when you have to pee w/ morning wood or whatever, just BACK UP, duh.

Fuck you jess for "crossing the streams"

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

yeah peeing immediately after sex is srsly uncomfortable, it's really a "you shoulda thought of that before we left" situation

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

deeznuts DOLLARSTORE!! re: tp

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

peeing through a boner is troublesome because not only does it make it hard to aim, but the urethra becomes narrower causing forceful spray effects

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

WTF kind of boners do you guys have that you can tuck them into the bowl while sitting down without painful hurting?

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

Don't answer that.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

http://entimg.msn.com/i/BillMurray/Ghostbusters_300x298.jpg

don't cross the streams, dave

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

peeing through a boner is troublesome because not only does it make it hard to aim, but the urethra becomes narrower causing forceful spray effects

-- elmo argonaut, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:06 PM (26 seconds ago)

otm cf austin powers 3

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

I am so hot right now.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

I pee sitting down, I find it more comfortable and there's less chance of a missing the toilet.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

the boner tuck is just to get it down to 90 degree angle and hit the side wall of the inside rim instead of pissing up

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

I once wound up peeing in to an empty coffee cup while in the passenger seat of a car travelling down the Long Island Expressway. It was two in the morning and all of a sudden it was either that or wet myself, I had no other choice. Best part? I had perfect aim. Worst part? My newish boyfriend was the one driving. We were together for four years though so it couldn't have freaked him out that much.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

boner = \ boner after looking at economist for 20 seconds = -

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

ghost rider & strongo otm re: postcoital urination

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

otm re: crossing streams; brocaine makes this worse

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

Newish boyfriend = 4 years??!?!?

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

boner after reading ILE = /

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

maybe he was into it xpost to ENBB

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

WTF kind of boners do you guys have that you can tuck them into the bowl while sitting down without painful hurting?

It helps to lean forward.

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

boner peeing - tips plz?

If it's a particularly tenacious turgidity, or if it's the middle of the night and I want to get it done and go back to bed I will just pee in the tub and run the shower to "flush." Started doing this about a couple years ago, and it's a brilliant solution!

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

WHA

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

lol

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:10 (eighteen years ago)

a friend of mine once had an apadravya and now can only pee sitting down

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:10 (eighteen years ago)

it's always the bodily fluid threads

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:10 (eighteen years ago)

the boner tuck is just to get it down to 90 degree angle and hit the side wall of the inside rim instead of pissing up

-- and what, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:07 PM (1 minute ago)

this has to require a tiny dick

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:10 (eighteen years ago)

I am the Ned of these sorts of threads.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

no you're a tiny dick

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

oh not you mickey

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

mod pls change thread title to 'The Great ILX Urination Debate'

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

mickey, you're a dick

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

& lookit the John Holmes motherfucker

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

If it's a particularly tenacious turgidity, or if it's the middle of the night and I want to get it done and go back to bed I will just pee in the tub and run the shower to "flush." Started doing this about a couple years ago, and it's a brilliant solution!

-- Jesse, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:09 PM (1 minute ago)

guys really off your balcony is such an easier, preferable plan

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

these threads do make me stop thinking about you all as smooth-crotched ken dolls

which i am not thankful for

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

does anyone else get a weird feeling if they pee too quickly after ejaculating?

i call this "crossing the streams"

-- strongohulkington, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:04 PM (1 minute ago)

ejaculating soon after peeing is also an adventure!

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

dudes need to stop fronting abt the boner tuck; it doesnt require a "tiny dick" and the pain subsides with the boner, which goes away as you pee.

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

mickey it might work differently on smaller prison toilets

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

peeing AFTER sex has always been heaven for me actually

dollarstore?? wtf do i care about affordability when it comes to something like toilet paper. its the principle of the thing.

jesus christ ppl

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

I'M BOYS AND THIS IS THE PISSING CONTEST

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

guys really off your balcony is such an easier, preferable plan

to whom?

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

David R - I meant that he was newish at the time of the incident. We were together for about four years after it occurred.

Ally - in retrospect I wouldn't be surprised it that was the case. Unfortunately.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

now i finally understand where some of the ilx anger comes from. napoleon dick complex.

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

ok just for everyones info i hit submit at least 8 times before that acutally posted

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

also ejaculating while you have to pee can lead to this weird sensation where you think you have to pee for the rest of the day but everytime you go to the bathroom nothing comes out

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

I don't have a balcony! I live on the 3rd floor and would have to open a window. And my windows are fickle in their staying up, so I'll be damned. Plus what if my dick got a chill?

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

we can never get real jobs after this

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

People get really mad at me when I pee sitting down at the urinal.

When I was in kindergarten, I walked in to the unisex bathroom to find a girl sitting in the urinal, peeing. I have never been able to get that disturbing image out of my mind and I don't know if this is because A)there was something genuinely unsettling about the way she was squished in there B)the fact that there was an open stall, wtf? or C)I am a pervert.

― C0L1N B..., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:13 (eighteen years ago)

I just want to know how it's possible to have to pee w/ wood, whizz into THE TUB, RUN THE SHOWER, then go back to bed, & have that be less invasive to your sleepytime than just PISSING IN THE TOILET LIKE GOD WANTS US TO.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

BONERS DO NOT TUCK EQUALLY.

I MEAN I'VE HEARD SOME DUDE DICKS CURVE DOWN WTF

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

it's C, colin

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

SOME DUDES SPLIT THEIR DICKS TOO

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:15 (eighteen years ago)

CAUSE THEY MAD

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:15 (eighteen years ago)

PENII: AN ENDLESS SOURCE OF AMAZEMENT AND WONDER

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:15 (eighteen years ago)

if only i was as laid back & unaggressive as mickey

― and what, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:15 (eighteen years ago)

peeing with boner guarantees lots of afterdrip - no one has mentioned that

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:15 (eighteen years ago)

The boner tuck is easy. You actually wind up kind of turning it *upside-down* as well as backwards. But I always wind up touching the inside of the bowl, so I usually just either lean very far forward and push it downward in a very uncomfortable way, or I pee in the shower.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:16 (eighteen years ago)

To have the pee outside option anytime was like 90% of my decision to buy a house with a yard.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:16 (eighteen years ago)

cut it out you guys I gotta go

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:16 (eighteen years ago)

i am never going to have to boner tuck ever again u_u

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

But I always wind up touching the inside of the bowl,

you need fat thighs

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

i pee in the yard lots

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

I just like to think of Ice Cube saying he "can lay plenty of pipe" and meaning "I take gigantic shits"

― Hans Rott, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

You actually wind up kind of turning it *upside-down* as well as backwards

this is the worst solution i have ever heard

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

peeing outside is great; my roommates sister was taking a shower this morning so i just went to the backyard and released. it was great.

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

guys i think performing the so-called 'boner-tulk' at all is equivalent to wetting the bed.

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

Peeing in the tub is easy! What you have in the tub is essentially a really huge trough. You don't stand IN the tub, just beside it as you run the shower.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

thats fucking gross

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

Peeing in the living room is easy, too!

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

ethan "mini-penis tuck" fagget

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

don't be such a lazy pisser

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

it's C, colin

You didn't see the shame on her face!

― C0L1N B..., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:18 (eighteen years ago)

real men do dis:
http://users.ca.astound.net/~sourduck/sourduck/2006/08/hipster-type/the-cribs-handstand.jpg

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

I've never been happier to have girl parts. This all sounds really complicated for guys. I never knew.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

Uh, I guess that phrasing isn't going to help anything.
x-p

― C0L1N B..., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

so who's gonna fess up to walking in their sleep and peeing in entirely inappropriate places?

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

you?

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

c on t(oilet seat)s

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

you, i bet

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

this thread has become unreadable

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

Pee Thread RIP ;_;

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

dude, i'm in PUBLIC

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

so who's gonna fess up to walking in their sleep and peeing in entirely inappropriate places?

lol over here. I once sleep-pissed in the closet.

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

thats fucking gross

I see no difference between peeing while showering (which surely is surely the usual and customary way for most people?) and peeing into the shower while running water.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

it's still gross, shower pisser

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:21 (eighteen years ago)

you are LAZY

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:21 (eighteen years ago)

I have shy bladder even when no one's around, so I only pee sitting down.

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:21 (eighteen years ago)

OK is Dan posting as Jesse?

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:21 (eighteen years ago)

Peeing in the living room is easy, too!

-- David R., Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:18 PM (1 minute ago)

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:21 (eighteen years ago)

peeing while showering (which surely is surely the usual and customary way for most people?)

otm, sorry squeamish ppl but let's be real

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:22 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, i've done it a few times. not regularly.

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:22 (eighteen years ago)

css

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:22 (eighteen years ago)

I peed in a cat box once (I was on LSD).

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:22 (eighteen years ago)

curt1s i have shy bladder too, but not that bad. i just cant pee if people are waiting in line to pee.

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

touching cold things helps

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

when i was at my most drugged out i pissed in a drinking glass and forgot to wash it

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

wait but the toilet is RIGHT THERE

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

why would you pee in the shower?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

the other night i started pissing in a public parking lot then had to run mid-act when a police car turned the corner. close one!

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

ADDENDUM:

When peeing standing up in private, do you:

- whip it out thru the peehole in yr clothes
- drop trou

& do you do tricks?

PS - THANK YOU ALLY

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

is it a parole violation?

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

I once sleep-pissed in the closet.

word. I made all the maneuvers to get to the toilet down the hall on the right, but ended up pissing on my kicks.

― will, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i don't understand peeing in the shower AT ALL

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

why would you pee in the shower?

b/c the boner-angle prevents pinpoint toilet accuracy

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

I assume you don't mean dan m?

Is it lazy to be sleepy and wanna go back to bed at 3 AM?

I have tried the leaning thing and all too often I lose control of my dick and since it's erect, it kind of springs up and I pee all over everything, and then have to clean up in the middle of the night. No thanks. I will just pee in the shower.

Anyway, I scrub the shower nearly every morning while I'm in there. I keep a bottle of cleaner next to the tub and a brush inside so that it will stay fairly clean. Plus urine is pretty much sterile.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:25 (eighteen years ago)

so get rid of the boner

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:25 (eighteen years ago)

option a: climb out of shower, get everything wet, slide naked on wet bathroom tiles, pee in toilet, climb back into shower

option b: AIM FOR THE DRAIN

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:25 (eighteen years ago)

option c: wait until you are done showering to pee

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:26 (eighteen years ago)

how deeply do you people sleep? I mean, even half-asleep I can raise the lid and hit my mark.

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:26 (eighteen years ago)

wait but the toilet is RIGHT THERE
why would you pee in the shower?

Because it's hard when it's hard. We've been over that.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:28 (eighteen years ago)

i don't know what kind of cialis hard-ons you guys are getting that you can't just wait for them to subside before pissing?

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:28 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i don't see what's so unsanitary about the shower pee, you get to aim it and all. Now if you have a slow drain or something and were going to end up standing in it, yeah, that would be gross, or if you're of a female variety and don't get aiming benefits, that's different.

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:28 (eighteen years ago)

I was very drunk on night and wound up in my old roommate's room instead of the bathroom. She woke up as I was starting to sit down on an invisible bowl and kindly walked me to the bathroom where I proceeded to pass out on the floor the rest of the night. Not my finest hour but at least she caught me in time.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:28 (eighteen years ago)

jesse, i'm making the assumption that you do not have boners 94/7

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

ghost rider OTM

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

so get rid of the boner

The only way to do that would be to wait, b/c I'm sure not gonna J.O. when I wanna sleep.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

wait why wouldnt you pee in the shower?? im confused

ok 10 billion xposts again but still

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

i'm not so concerned about building a nest out of toilet paper as i am having a boner when on a public toilet, bcuz the risk of brushing up against a public toilet is beyond disgusting.

― deej, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

Shower Option First: pee before you shower?

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

and yes i mean i have never had to pee soooooooooooooooooo bad that i couldn't just hold it for a few minutes, jesus guys.

WAIT WHY WOULDN'T YOU JERK OFF WHEN YOU WANT TO SLEEP

THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THREAD

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

I clicked on this by default.

Anyone else try to destroy as much of the urinal cake as possible with their mighty stream?

The only way to do that would be to wait, b/c I'm sure not gonna J.O. when I wanna sleep.

ah, youth.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

where's nabisco to write paragraphs we can all agree on re: boners & peeing

― deej, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

strongo, seriously, pretty much. it's a misdemeanor so it would be a probation violation and i could have gone to prison for it.

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

All these dudes who are afraid of weiner touching porcelain would no doubt be up for a little anal action amirite

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

yeah you people don't even know how to pee, mickey please pee on a cop car very soon, like tonight.

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

My ex boyfriend used to think it was funny to pee on my while we showered together. It really was not gross at all to me. It never even occurred to me that it might be in the least gross.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

YOU DONT WANT TO JERK OFF WHEN YOU HAVE TO PEE!!! MORE EVEN THAN SLEEP.

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

(i will email Jesse some suggestions)

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

some of us cant jerk off when we want to sleep because we are wracked with guilt

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

Unless you're going for some Guiness Records thing, or have a dinosaur-brain signal/response issue, I can't imagine having to pee SO BAD that you have to bolt during the shower for the bowl and/or let 'er rip mid-loofah.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

seriously are all of you guys whacking off even when you have to urinate??

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

cause thats CROSSING THE STREAMZ

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

DO YOU WANT TO PEE OR SLEEP OR HAVE A BONER? CHRIST JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

I WANT IT ALL

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

WE ARE DRUNK AND SLEEPING WITH WOMEN DUH NOT JERKING IT

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

WAIT WHY WOULDN'T YOU JERK OFF WHEN YOU WANT TO SLEEP

because it's the middle of the night, and sleep boners have a rather different character that waking boners -- to j.o. with a sleep boner would mean first waking up, then getting into a rather different mood. Too much work. What needs to be done with the 3am boner is to put it back to bed immediately and let it run its course.

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

HAHAHAHAHA

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

this thread is making me roffle at work, omg i have to stop reading this

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

OR WE ARE JUST DRUNK

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

http://graffiti.tscpl.org/lotr2.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

GUYS SOMETIMES YOU DON'T HAVE TO PEE BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE SHOWER

BUT THEN IT'S ALL WHOOSHY WATERY SOUNDS SO YOU GET THE PEE REFLEX

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

lean over the toilet with hand on wall behind toilet to angle downwards

― sleep, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

ERECTIONS GO AWAY IF YOU WAIT A MINUTE ARE ALL OF YOU JERKING OFF 94/7 OR SOMETHING???

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

(i will email Jesse some suggestions)

-- Dr Morbius, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 3:31 PM (1 minute ago)

Wait. What??

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

priapism, dude

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

xpost

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

strongo OTM there are few things as good as sleep, boners, and peeings JUST NOT TOGETHER

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

lean over the toilet with hand on wall behind toilet to angle downwards

+ rest forehead on wall if drunk

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

ERECTIONS GO AWAY IF YOU WAIT A MINUTE ARE ALL OF YOU JERKING OFF 94/7 OR SOMETHING???

-- ghost rider, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:33 PM (22 seconds ago)

Do not answer this question!

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

My ex boyfriend used to think it was funny to pee on my ____ while we showered together

a) ass
b) hair
c) soap
d) Hummel collection

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

http://invitel.hu/torokat/twisted_mind_creations/pics/priapism.gif

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

DAMN THIS THREAD

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

dead people dont even inspire this level of insanity

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

My erections sometimes don't go away so easily! Sometimes you wait and wait and wait and the boner-release-system is still asleep.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

i don't get the sitting-down boner-peeing set, unless you guys like rubbing your dick on the inside of the toilet??

― sleep, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

sorry guys, I'm never too sleepy and zonk right out again after cleanup.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

i am reluctant to talk about my lengthy, lingering boner response as a 'problem' because it is not

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

lean over the toilet with hand on wall behind toilet to angle downwards

+ rest forehead on wall if drunk

-- milo z, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 4:34 PM (24 seconds ago)

^^^this is key

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

yeah dr. morbius otm, ppl.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:35 (eighteen years ago)

guys... i am constantly switching between this thread and my actual work, where i'm imputting advertising copy for TOILETS into a database. it took me like 15 minutes to notice that.

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

you guys are all a bunch of PRUDES and NEGATIVE NANCYS

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

"I see no difference between peeing while showering (which surely is surely the usual and customary way for most people?)"

MOST FUCKED THING SO FAR?

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

My ex boyfriend used to think it was funny to pee on my ____ while we showered together

a) ass
b) hair
c) soap
d) Hummel collection

-- David R., Wednesday, April 18, 2007 3:34 PM (44 seconds ago)

Uncontrollable LOL in coffee shop.

I meant to say "pee on ME" not "my." But I guess it was my leg.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

Whatever you do, never ever EVER pee on the sauna rocks, boner or no.

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

ITS CALLED A LIGHT SWITCH

No, it hurts my eyes! And it wakes me up too much! I want to shuffle back to the bed and go back to sleep as if nothing ever happened.

The boner-peeing discussion is great. I was going to make a reference to this in my first post, but I declined. Ethan pretty much OTM throughout. Also Elmo re the spraying. It's totally impossible to pee standing up with a boner right after sex.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

hahahahaha

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

between this thread and visiting the big johnson factory today, i've had about all the penis i can handle

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

94/7

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

so wait for the boner to go bye bye

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

schef and doc morbius i just want to point out that many of us would be happy to "deal with" our bonerz but its the PEEING + BONERZ combo that prevents that!!!!!!

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

if you just had sex why do you still have a boner?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

"I see no difference between peeing while showering (which surely is surely the usual and customary way for most people?)"

MOST FUCKED THING SO FAR?

Really? You don't pee in the shower??

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

NOT the sleeping + bonerz as jesse erroneously claims

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

you guys all need to repeat second grade where you should have learned about this

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

Whatever you do, never ever EVER pee on the sauna rocks, boner or no.

I was once warned to never ever ever pee on a campfire.

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

i mean, how quickly are you pulling out and racing to the bathroom, jaymc?!?!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

what kind of boner instant dissipates after sex??

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

I'm wondering how schef missed the 2 that badly.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

I'm clearly wondering about the wrong thing.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:39 (eighteen years ago)

dude seriously jess they basically mostly go away shortly thereafter, don't play coy with me, i have had sex with hundreds of men.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:39 (eighteen years ago)

have you guys ever read toilet advertising before?

Cadet® 3 Round Front White Toilet
•Round bowl •FlushRight™ system •15"H for greater comfort •EverClean™ silver-based glaze repels dirt and grime #238693
•EverClean™ silver-based glaze repels dirt and grime •Perfectly flat tank lid provides superior storage •Large 3" flapper delivers fast, quiet flush that resists clogs •5-year warranty inside and out

wtf

― modestmickey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:39 (eighteen years ago)

who i am gonna trust, some ho or my own penis??

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:39 (eighteen years ago)

― chaki, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:39 (eighteen years ago)

My lifelong boner-peeing technique is unstoppable

(ie, get a grip ... in the right place)

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:40 (eighteen years ago)

CHAKI OTM

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:40 (eighteen years ago)

Really? You don't pee in the shower??

I don't make a point of it or anything, but jeez ppl it may not be the most grown-up thing in the world but it's not like letting loose in the pool

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:40 (eighteen years ago)

My lifelong boner-peeing technique is unstoppable

put this on yr neighborhoodie, morbs.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:40 (eighteen years ago)

man there is nothing worse in the world than getting the urge to piss right after you've hit the "too far to turn back now" stage of intercourse

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:41 (eighteen years ago)

^^^ jess is otm here really

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:41 (eighteen years ago)

way to suck all the fun out of it you lousy vas deferens

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:41 (eighteen years ago)

Ally -- sometimes the boner dissipates right after sex, sometimes it doesn't! And I like to pee within a couple of minutes at least. Occasionally, it's painful if I don't, and even if it weren't, it's a good cleanse for the urethra.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:41 (eighteen years ago)

haha xxpost!!

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:41 (eighteen years ago)

but lol i can just go to the bathroom no problem afterwards sucks 2 be u

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:41 (eighteen years ago)

boner dissipation time linked heavily to cardiovascular health, no?

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:42 (eighteen years ago)

should we open this discussion up to men who have faked orgasm in order to take a piss?

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:42 (eighteen years ago)

girls are supposed to pee after sex to prevent YEAST infections

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:42 (eighteen years ago)

# the great ILX capital punishment debate [Started by and what, last updated 1 minute ago] 126 new answers
# [POLL closes: April 21] DUDES: do you pee sitting down by default? [Started by Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, last updated 5 seconds ago] 279 new answers

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:42 (eighteen years ago)

ally, hell you could go the the bathroom during, theoretically... we can't

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, don't go & get scientific on this shit, milo.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

not yeast infections, urinary tract infections.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

Ha - was about to say!

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

xxpost urinary tract infections actually.

oh never mind. . .

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

Really? You don't pee in the shower??

I also think it's stranger to find out that people don't pee in the shower. For me it's mainly a time saving mechanism. I don't see anything wrong with it but definitely wouldn't do it if I was showering with my husband or anything.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

yeah jaymc 8080. sometimes i find (WTF @ posting this blah etc) that having to pee a little after sex correlates with keeping boner longer after sex.

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

Can we call out the women reading this thread for being creepy yet?

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

They're learning!

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

I'M READING IT BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT BEFORE POSTING THE POLL, JON

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

DUDES: you pee sitting down by default when it's a sexual fetish

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND A CONSTANT BONER

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

j/k

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

YOU PULL OUT AND THEN PEE IN HER BELLYBUTTON SO YOU CAN MAKE HER PREGNANT DUH.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

if anyone actually does own up to "urine play"...well, they'll probably be kenan

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

which came first, peeing sitting down or peeing sitting down fetishes?

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

oh whatever point is sex + pee for chicks is a-ok; not so for dudes

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

Can we call out the women reading this thread for being creepy yet?

no wai they are bright-eyed, innocent, and curious

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

also, some of us have a refractory period of 12 seconds

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

ok srsly in 6th grade i knew a boy who actually thought something similar to what john just posted and i told him he was wrong and tried to explain and then he got pissed off and called me a slut.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

did he also believe that swallowing cum gave you acne

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

^^^ popular 8th grade rumor

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

Yes, because when Ally and I kill a WHOLE FRIDAY AFTERNOON posting about lingerie, we really and truly expect that none of you wholesome, non-crepey ILXors* w/ Y chromosomes will be reading it.

*Does not apply to actual crepes.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

"oner dissipation time linked heavily to cardiovascular health, no?

-- milo z, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 11:42 PM (1 minute ago)"

in which direction?

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:47 (eighteen years ago)

oh shit let's do that this friday, laurel

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:47 (eighteen years ago)

did i tell you about the PASTIES?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:47 (eighteen years ago)

beef or lamb?

― Ed, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:48 (eighteen years ago)

NO! But you will approx 44 hrs from now.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:48 (eighteen years ago)

what this thread needs is helpful diagrams

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:48 (eighteen years ago)

yeah just remind me

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:48 (eighteen years ago)

yes kenan

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

tuomaspeetutorial.jpg

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

perhaps video + a workbook, so you can follow along at home

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

what this thread needs is helpful diagrams

8======D --------------------- O[]

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.buyamag.com/graphics/cath1.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

It's all speculation anyway, Allz, because pretty much all my lingerie is a stop-gap solution to my not being able to afford $200 bras that I like.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

oh my

xpost

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.bigfoto.com/africa/ghana/ghana-66.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

Evan, pls to keep pictures of yr old job off the interweb.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

i have too many of those and never end up wearing them

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.allfunnypictures.com/images2/urinating.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

8========D ----------------------- |________| <-----bathtub

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.dinf.ne.jp/doc/english/global/david/dwe001/dwe001g/dwe00142g26.gif

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

Pee is entertaining.

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:52 (eighteen years ago)

the internet agrees

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:52 (eighteen years ago)

Yay Carlos

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:52 (eighteen years ago)

don't take too much pride, Carlos, you're actually peeing on farm equipment

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:52 (eighteen years ago)

posting this just cuz

http://www.koelnnetz.de/private/danke/chewbacca.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

blod deutschland jess

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

ohhh that rules

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

80808080

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.vanderbilt.edu/AnS/psychology/health_psychology/urine_image1.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

sometimes its good to sit down to pee immediately after sex because of... you know

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:54 (eighteen years ago)

http://data1.blog.de/blog/k/kairokairo/img/-urine_for_a_real_treat.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:54 (eighteen years ago)

sometimes its good to sit down to pee immediately after sex because of... you know

because of the urge to urinate?

― kenan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:55 (eighteen years ago)

ah, great Me Myself & Irene scene...

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:55 (eighteen years ago)

dude kenan is zingin

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:56 (eighteen years ago)

AND THE THREAD STOPPED

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:57 (eighteen years ago)

time to flush

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:58 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i think the boner finally went away

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:58 (eighteen years ago)

kenan, here's a hint:

http://www.exploralearning.com/store/images_products/182.gif

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

350 posts and no one's mentioned foreskin positioning yet.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

haha foreskin

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

most of us were horrible mutilated at birth

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

i tend to go with 'off'

xpost

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

Because you have twisty straws up your ass?

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

you crazy Brits and your foreskins

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

Oh wait I get it now.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

nope guys dont even google "smegma band"

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

I don't get it - testicular torsion?

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

well this certainly ate up an afternoon

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

American friends - count yourselves lucky for not being faced with the 'directional aid vs basic hygeine' dilemma several times a day.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

matt -- i don't even know what that means

OH SHIT NOW I DO

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:02 (eighteen years ago)

jesus christ

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:02 (eighteen years ago)

Wait, what? Pissing while foreskin not retracted = severe danger of loss of control.

― dan m, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah you might as well stick a finger in the stream, wtf.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

What now? Directional aid?

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

it just got weird, didn't it

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

NOW we need diagrams.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

Seriously.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

we may need them but we don't want them

― sleep, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

oh lord, now it gets british

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

The best part: ^@^ is from CANADA.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:06 (eighteen years ago)

Oh god, I don't believe this is actually specifically addressed by Wikipedia.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

anyone ever see Robert Towne's movie Personal Best, where Mariel Hemingway holds the boyfriend's unit while he pees?

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

I have to go in a minute. Someone explain so I don't have to go through the rest of the day with foreskin/peeing on my mind.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

370+ new answers in less than two hours=I am leaving this board forever.

If I can ever stop xposting.

― Oilyrags, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

oh lord, now it gets bris-ish

― brownie, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

"Due to the flexible and protruding nature of the penis, it is easy to control the direction of the urine stream. This makes it easy to urinate standing up, and most men urinate this way. The foreskin, if left in place during urination, may block the direct path of the outgoing stream by causing turbulence, resulting in a slower, but thicker stream of urine that may also dribble. Men who choose to retract their foreskin, or who have been circumcised, may have a more focused stream of urine that travels at the same speed it exits the urethra."

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

I still don't get Markp's bendy straw comment. I thought we already talked about post-coital spraying.

And I thought Personal Best was a movie about LESBIANS.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

WTF turbulence?!

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

so retracting the hood kind of turns you into a firehose?

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:10 (eighteen years ago)

"Oh god, I don't believe this is actually specifically addressed by Wikipedia.

-- Matt DC, Thursday, April 19, 2007 12:07 AM (1 minute ago)"

redirects to alexis petridis amirite?

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:10 (eighteen years ago)

I still don't get Markp's bendy straw comment. I thought we already talked about post-coital spraying.

thats all i was talking about. i haven't read the whole thread. i mean, come on.

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:11 (eighteen years ago)

could we take all the british stuff off thread? thanks in advance

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)

should we open this discussion up to men who have faked orgasm in order to take a piss?

Haha, I have done this.

Also, whatever shred of self-respect I have prevents me from peeing in the shower (while sober anyway, but why take drunk shower?).

I've said my piece, pls let me be able to ignore this thread now.

― Jordan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)

Jess dude we're not the ones who see nothing wrong with pissing in the shower!

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:14 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzz/Coregasm_Training

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:14 (eighteen years ago)

WHY TAKE DRUNK SHOWER?? WTF

― 69, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

misguided belief that it will make you less drunk? (and yet we never learn)

― milo z, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

you should drink while in the shower

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

worst idea ever, think of the dilution.

― Ed, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

If I've been sweating or dancing, I shower every night, regardless of inebriation. Drunk showers are fine, you never remember them anyway! And at least you wake up clean and not still smoke-reeking.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

there are plenty of places to put a drink where the water will not get into the drink

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

i've drunk showered many, many times.

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

I love drinking beer in the shower. This is my post-lawnmowing ritual.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

And I thought Personal Best was a movie about LESBIANS.

Mariel Hemingway was just a LUG in it, I think.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

i've drunk shaved a couple times too, that is usually a mistake.

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

i have drank bourbon in the shower

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

i still haven't crossed the smoking in the shower boundary though, that several i know have crossed.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

I never shower at night anyway, I'm not going to start when I'm drunk.

I do remember champagne in the shower that one time, though.

― Jordan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

SMOKING IN THE SHOWER IS SO AWESOME

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:19 (eighteen years ago)

in a disgusting, depressing, gross sort of way

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

Champagne + cigarette in the bath is incredibly lovely.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

drinking in the shower is uber classic--the best way to start a night

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

no champagne in the sex shower

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

i have heard it is the best thing to do, but i...don't know. i just can't.

xpost oh i have smoked in the BATH like 18 billion times.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

OTM, but let's say brandy and cigars instead

beartraps to laurel

― Ed, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

smoking p0t in the bath is also a big "YES"

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

i still haven't crossed the smoking in the shower boundary though, that several i know have crossed.

the first shower i had in my own apartment after i stopped living with roommates was immediately after i finished moving my shit in, i grabbed a beer and my cigarettes and washed the stench of moving in under the july sun from off my body. it was sublime.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

don't do other drugs in the bath tho that is the road to tears and a waste of money

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

smoking pot in the bathtub strikes me a very bobby brown thing to do

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

I need to make more $$ and live alone, my roommate would FREAK THE FUCK OUT if I smoked around her towels.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

One of my college roomies smoked up while showering.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

oh man why would anyone ever think that would work? beartrap to schef

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

showering when already stoned = awesome

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

I love smoking weed in the bath but I don't feel it's an appropriate topic for this thread.

xposts haha markp 8080

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

BECAUSE I'M RETARDED OK

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

aww

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

showering when already stoned = falling asleep in shower

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

an appropriate topic for this disgusting thread.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

Once when wasted on I don't know let's just say all kinds of everything I decided it would be a good idea to lay down in the shower and I woke up the coldest pruniest coming downest most pathetic guy you ever found laying down in a shower.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

A few months later, I peed in that same shower.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

falling asleep well into the freezing cold part of the shower is just depressing

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

falling asleep and waking up while it's still a little hot/warm is kind of ok

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

showering when already stoned = falling asleep in shower

OTM. (no Hoosteen)

― C0L1N B..., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

vomiting in the shower is very dud though

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

god i want to pee, take a shower, and drink a beer so badly right now

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

actually i take that back it makes for easier cleanup i suppose

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

i was gonna throw sex in there too but i'll stick to what i can achieve tonight

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

that may have just been the most satisfying piss i've ever taken

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

A NEW LOW

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

weirdest thread ever

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

mark i fail to see how admitting i just went potty is lower than admitting i've vomited on someone during sex

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

oh for fuck's sake

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

Does anyone else have any idea what the average volume of their bladder content is? Because sometimes I think I have the smallest bladder in the tri-state area but then in the morning I am amazed. I think a dedicated Pyrex measuring cup might be too far even for me.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

i can fill up a 48 oz. plastic stars wars commemorative cup easily

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)

it was more the liveblogging aspect, but fair enough, i didn't know about the vomit thing

xpost

A NEWER LOW

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)

Considering a kid once wet himself, fully-clothed and sitting at his desk, then uploaded a photo because ILE told him to, this thread has barely scratched the surface.

(xpost - I think I could manage a pint)

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)

plus everyone expects this sort of thing from me at this point

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:32 (eighteen years ago)

dude you can definitely manage more than a pint. i've overflowed a gatorade bottle once during a road trip.

"OPEN THE DOOR AND FINISH!!! NO, WE'RE NOT STOPPING."

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:33 (eighteen years ago)

haha Laurel 8080. Sometimes I pee just like the tiniest thimble's-content squirts and am all "wtf why do I have a smurf bladder?" but then also have those great 3 minute morning I am all that is man pees and wonder "wtf is wrong with you, urine-sac?".

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:33 (eighteen years ago)

I love smoking weed in the bath but I don't feel it's an appropriate topic for this thread.

NO!!!

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

haha those are the best

xpost

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

i can fill up a 48 oz. plastic stars wars commemorative cup easily

I don't know why but when I read this I pictured you pissing into a Millenium Falcon toy.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

let's not also forget the thread where i tried to figure out if i could smell my face

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:35 (eighteen years ago)

wait i missed that. could you smell your face?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:36 (eighteen years ago)

i remember that!

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:36 (eighteen years ago)

i forget! lemme see if i can find it

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:36 (eighteen years ago)

wait, you FORGET if you could smell your face?!?!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:37 (eighteen years ago)

Considering a kid once wet himself, fully-clothed and sitting at his desk, then uploaded a photo because ILE told him to, this thread has barely scratched the surface.

Dude, don't you think calling Mickey a kid is a little insulting?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:37 (eighteen years ago)

my roomate calls beer showers "b0wers" (which is also her last name). she has a proud birthright to fulfill!

― bell_labs, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:37 (eighteen years ago)

rip beer showers 2000-2005

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:39 (eighteen years ago)

making discoveries: my face seems to smell more when i don't shave for a couple days.

-- jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, October 7, 2002 12:59 PM (4 years ago)

Face-sniffing is several miles down the road to mentalism.

-- Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, October 7, 2002 1:02 PM (4 years ago)

the fact that i even figured out how is sure sign of that.

-- jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, October 7, 2002 1:04 PM (4 years ago)

obviously you just cup your face

-- boxcubed (boxcubed), Monday, October 7, 2002 1:06 PM (4 years ago)

shhhh!

-- jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, October 7, 2002

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:39 (eighteen years ago)

omg FOUR YEARS AGO

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:39 (eighteen years ago)

yuck

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:39 (eighteen years ago)

i don't have time to read it right now, but is this the thread where you smelt your face?

-- mark p (Mark P), Monday, June 28, 2004

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:40 (eighteen years ago)

mark p on the run

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:40 (eighteen years ago)

wait how do you know you weren't just smelling your hands???

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:40 (eighteen years ago)

good luck jess -- search sucks

i think your lady was away and you were home alone doing guy stuff, eg. man-marinating in your bathrobe, 'cooking' and, eventually, cupping your hands over your mouth and inhaling deeply. it was riveting stuff.

xposts

haha!

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:40 (eighteen years ago)

also fun: showering with a significant other and shaking up beers and having a beer spraying fight

― bell_labs, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:41 (eighteen years ago)

update: i am now watching "the view" and shooting at the tv with a bubble gun.

-- jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, October 7, 2002

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:41 (eighteen years ago)

That makes sense tho Jess since shaving exfoliates lots of skin cells that have gasped their dermal last.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:41 (eighteen years ago)

Here's the thread where Hari pissed himself. I'm quite saddened that I was the first one to egg him on.

― ailsa, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:41 (eighteen years ago)

why am i still at work btw?

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)

Beer fights sound like amazing outside-on-the-patio-in-bathing-suits material, not to be done in rooms that someone has to wash.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)

plz to link to home alone thread

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)

drinking in the shower is uber classic

i know we've moved on but this deserves emphatic co-signing

― deej, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)

haha laurel it was in a hotel!

― bell_labs, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:43 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.ilxor.com:8080/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=9929&showall=true

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:43 (eighteen years ago)

i found that by googling "lacey penis"

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:43 (eighteen years ago)

also: shower washes away the beer

― bell_labs, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:44 (eighteen years ago)

NOT FROM THE CEILING.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:44 (eighteen years ago)

it's a waste of beer, you'd be better off doing that kind of thing with something you don't want to drink, like milk.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:44 (eighteen years ago)

mr. pibb

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

That makes sense tho Jess since shaving exfoliates lots of skin cells that have gasped their dermal last.

also removes whiteheads

Also: nklz plz explain the art, reason and science of smoking weed on the crapper

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

the only time I smoked pot in the bath it ended in tragedy. RIP Bowl in Niagara Falls hotel room 2005.

My favorite thing to do in couples showers is to spit water in the other person's face.

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

Mmmmm MILK! Better for milkshakes than milkfights.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:47 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.dhadm.com/images/uploads/toilet_snorkel.jpg

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:48 (eighteen years ago)

420 on the poooper: out with the bad in with the good

― chaki, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:48 (eighteen years ago)

toilet bong???

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:48 (eighteen years ago)

My favorite thing to do in couples showers is to spit water in the other person's face.

No offense, jessie, but this shows a remarkable lack of both imagination and enterprise.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:50 (eighteen years ago)

what she forgot to mention is that each person puts a spoonful of country time lemonade crystals in their mouth first

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:50 (eighteen years ago)

WAHT DOES IT MEAN IF MY POO IS NORMAL BUT FLOATS INSTEAD OF SINKS? I am quitting smoking and eating lots of salad?

XPOST

JESSIE IS YOUNG AND HAD POOR SEX ED

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:51 (eighteen years ago)

I hate shower sex. :(

also I want JESSIE IS YOUNG AND HAD POOR SEX ED on my tombstone.

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:52 (eighteen years ago)

THIS IS A THREAD ABOUT PEE NOT POO

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:54 (eighteen years ago)

I WANT PEPPERONI ON MY TOMBSTONE

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:55 (eighteen years ago)

^^^ cosign

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:55 (eighteen years ago)

I FEEL LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:55 (eighteen years ago)

that sit down when i pee song really is the greatest song ever

http://www.digyourowngrave.com/kid-break-i-sit-down-when-i-pee/

― chaki, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 21:57 (eighteen years ago)

IT'S NOT DELIVERY

(but it will be in my belly)

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:00 (eighteen years ago)

How the hell would you pee sitting down in the middle of the night, anyway? That's boner time, n'est-ce pas?

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:02 (eighteen years ago)

It's always Boner Time!

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:03 (eighteen years ago)

I love how Michael White can classy up a phrase like "boner time" with some French.

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:03 (eighteen years ago)

SO MAD I MISSED THIS THREAD

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

I can't tell you how many times I've rested my tired forehead on the top of the toilet reservoir in the middle of the night while bending over enough to get the woody to empty INTO the basin. N.b. Remember to listen for the sound of liquid on liquid. Without it, you may end having some explaining to do.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:09 (eighteen years ago)

dan, it missed you too

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:09 (eighteen years ago)

I'm pretty sure I've only ever once smoked up on the crapper and that was only because I had good reason to believe the music I was listening to contained the brown sound.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:10 (eighteen years ago)

can we talk about falling asleep with your face on the toilet seat after throwing up bile? or has that been done to death?

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:11 (eighteen years ago)

yeah

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:11 (eighteen years ago)

Can we talk about peeing into a toilet while someone has fallen asleep with their face on it, or am I just a really bad friend to have if you're really drunk?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:15 (eighteen years ago)

if it's a public toilet that's totally fair game

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:16 (eighteen years ago)

Warnings were given ahead of time, I absolve myself of all responsibility.

xpost Well, you see, that's the thing...

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:17 (eighteen years ago)

Depends on your aim, John.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:17 (eighteen years ago)

Not to me it doesn't.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

I am surprised by the lack of expressions of lack of surprise that Tuomas pees sitting down!

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

smoking while peeing with an erection on someone who's passed out in the shower in the middle of the night c/d

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

I've been going to all the wrong house-parties.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

Uber classik, I'd think.

xpost

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

(I'd also like to point out that I stopped peeing in the shower once I hit puberty and realized THAT WAS NASTY.)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

it is disturbing that we have perhaps become numb to tuomos-based wtfs

― deej, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:21 (eighteen years ago)

i've taken a dump in toilet when friend was passed out drunk on floor.

was kind of weird but i sure wasnt gonna move him

― deej, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:22 (eighteen years ago)

TUOMAS: I've been at multiple parties where someone invariably feels the need to snap my bra.
ILE: Ho hum, another Tuomas story *yawn*.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:23 (eighteen years ago)

"in finland everyone has a cervix!"

― ^@^, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:24 (eighteen years ago)

TUOMAS: The worst part about the tampon is the way it feels coming out, almost like you have a persistent poop that you can't quite shake off.
ILE: Ho hum, another Tuomas story *yawn*.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:24 (eighteen years ago)

TUOMAS: Most people get breat implants on the chest but I didn't want to conform to such strict notions of gender identification; besides, I think they look much better on my knees. :-)
ILE: Ho hum, another Tuomas story *yawn*.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:26 (eighteen years ago)

I stopped peeing in the shower once I hit puberty

But when I hear Obi Wan's voice in my head exhorting me to 'use the Force' when I aim my stream toward the drain, who am I to be squeamish and resist?

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:26 (eighteen years ago)

u crazy

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:29 (eighteen years ago)

Can someone explain to me why peeing in the shower is gross?

I mean: urine is mostly sterile. You wash it off immediately. And you clean your shower once every week or two. So what's the big deal?

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:30 (eighteen years ago)

And you clean your shower once every week or two.

haaaaaaaaa

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:32 (eighteen years ago)

"Cleaning your shower" is not the same as "hosing it down with your sterile urine", right?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:34 (eighteen years ago)

Dudes, a peed-in shower is probably cleaner. I'm sure ammonia does a number on mildew anyway.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:34 (eighteen years ago)

max, otm.

I'm not going to indulge in puerile urinophobia at X:00 AM on a cold morning when I could be in the shower.

Our bathtub gets cleaned every week.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:34 (eighteen years ago)

"Cleaning your shower" is not the same as "hosing it down with your sterile urine", right?

boy that car wash didn't raise a lotta money for the swim team

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:35 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah srsly I Ajax that shit every weekend usually. Not even because of the pee, because you need to clean your fuckin shower.

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:35 (eighteen years ago)

Anyway: PIZZA

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:36 (eighteen years ago)

Can we apply the same logic to "washing the dishes?"

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:36 (eighteen years ago)

I believe that your clinical analysis is missing a vital fact, namely that you are PISSING IN THE SHOWER AND, BY EXTENSION, ALL OVER YOUR FEET.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:36 (eighteen years ago)

because you need to clean your fuckin shower.

Well, if it's a fuck-in shower, yeah, I can see how that's particularly true.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

Hahahahahahahaha wait

If I put your dishes in the sink, run the water and piss on them, are you cool with that? It's mostly sterile urine and you're going to wash them anyway...!

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

Your dishes != my feet.

I don't eat off of my feet.

― max, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:38 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry, Dan, I forgot you eat out of the bottom of your tub. Hahah XP

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:38 (eighteen years ago)

Just pick off any stray pubes, and it's cool w/ me.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:39 (eighteen years ago)

BY EXTENSION, ALL OVER YOUR FEET.

Considering your aim, I'm not sure I want you pissing anywhere in my house.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:39 (eighteen years ago)

But Dan's a woman!

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:40 (eighteen years ago)

OK, I'm off this thread.

― David R., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:40 (eighteen years ago)

Dan and I: Great minds both want to pee on the dishes.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:42 (eighteen years ago)

If the tub is soooooooooooooooooooo much cleaner after you piss in it, why would you have a problem eating off of it?

(SNAP: HI-FIVE TO JOHN)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:43 (eighteen years ago)

This reminds me of the old film crew joke about the difference between grip and electric: Electric take the dishes out of the sink before they piss in it.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:44 (eighteen years ago)

(Also, you should not question my ability to aim but rather ponder and comprehend fluid dynamics.)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:45 (eighteen years ago)

My god, this thread is full of weird nonsense.

When I piss in the shower -- as every sane person does -- I aim first of all for my feet, to get that curious warm feeling; warmer than the shower itself... marvelous.

― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:46 (eighteen years ago)

There are a lot of "sane" people out there with some funky ass feet!

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:47 (eighteen years ago)

FINNLANDER: What are you doing?
TUOMAS: Giving the kids a bath.
ILE: Ho hum, another Tuomas story *yawn*.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:49 (eighteen years ago)

Anyone who has ever swam in a public pool I think probably has no business getting all aghast at the shower piss.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:49 (eighteen years ago)

well at any rate, pissing in the shower is infinitely less gross than pissing in the tub

― bernard snowy, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:50 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah because most showers have CHLORINE IN THEM

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:50 (eighteen years ago)

While I'm on the subject...

There is no splashing when peeing from a standing position. The urine stream is so concentrated that any splashing occurs underwater since the stream hits the water so forcefully. And if for some reason the stream isn't fast and concentrated, splashing still doesn't occur since the source is too weak.

This was posted a long time ago, by some naive idiot.

Try peeing standing up while naked... You'll discover that there is no way of peeing that does not splash back onto your shins...

Usually, flushing will also splash onto your shins too, if you don't move away...

Usually people do not piss standing up naked, though, so all that splashing only goes on their jeans.

Who cares if the shins of your jeans are pissy?

― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:52 (eighteen years ago)

Who cares if the shins of your jeans are pissy?

This may be the greatest question ever asked.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

What is the answer though?

― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

Actually if you live on city water lines, there's chlorine in your shower, too. Try running a full tub of water into a white bathtub and you'll see what I mean.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 22:54 (eighteen years ago)

I'm kinda with Kenan's way of putting this -- shower-peeing isn't particuarly CLASSY, obviously, but it seems like a weird thing to be all horrified over. Especially if you're male. Nothing to make a habit of, but if absolutely necessary, you step back and send it straight for the drain. Assuming your drain's not clogged or something, the worst that can possibly happen is that a minute later, you will place the soles of your feet in a spot that was peed on and then thoroughly rinsed -- possibly even soaped -- which is technically way less bad than, say, taking a barefoot step on a city sidewalk, in a park, or anywhere else that has been covered with piss that's not even yours (maybe not even human) and not necessarily rinsed off at all.

Again, not classy, not something to make a routine out of, let's try to keep some decorum even when it's not strictly necessary, but umm it just doesn't seem quite worth being grossed out by?

― nabisco, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:07 (eighteen years ago)

Lord knows what else is in that drain.

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:09 (eighteen years ago)

Do you sit down when you pee into the sink?

― kingfish, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:14 (eighteen years ago)

I'd just like to thank all of the participants of this thread. I feel like I've learned a lot of valuable information today. It's been nearly as enlightening as the time I learned that most women flush public toilets with their foot.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:16 (eighteen years ago)

Boy, foot fetishists just can't seem to catch a break, huh?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:17 (eighteen years ago)

Have you started wearing sandals yet??

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

Amazing.

― ENBB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:19 (eighteen years ago)

Are you a woman that has started wearing sandals yet? theres nothing like the sight of the first few painted toes peeking out of heels.

That sounds like a deformity to me.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:19 (eighteen years ago)

Thank you, John Juston, for that perfect segue.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

guys peeing in the shower is just about the least gross thing a person might do during the day

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:21 (eighteen years ago)

Anyone who thinks peeing in a shower is unhygenic esp wrt everything else they do is deluding themselves

― JW, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:23 (eighteen years ago)

I know it's hard for most people to reconcile my disgust at peeing in the shower with my fondness for licking public telephones but I have to stick where my comfort level lies.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:27 (eighteen years ago)

Dan do you carry around alcohol hand wash crap?

― JW, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:27 (eighteen years ago)

I used to.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:29 (eighteen years ago)

you're licking everyone else who has licked those phones before, you know

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:31 (eighteen years ago)

HAWTT

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:32 (eighteen years ago)

Does that mean that I'm peeing on everyone who has ever peed in my shower before?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:32 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.mv.helsinki.fi/aqkorhon/laajasalo3.jpg

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:33 (eighteen years ago)

xposts

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:33 (eighteen years ago)

pee is only really gross when it's:

A. dried-up and sticky,
B. sitting in a cold puddle, or
C. really dark and stinky

while shower-piss may meet the third criterion if it's your first urination of the day, the first two are basically impossible to achieve in a showering environment. thus I am forced to find shower-pissing: NOT GROSS.

― bernard snowy, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:33 (eighteen years ago)

ILE: Ho hum, another Tuomas story *yawn*.

(xpost: I am forced to find the idea of having a dried-up, sticky pisss: GROSS.))

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

(also how come no one has said anything about http://myvag.net and how it's the best/worst hostname ever?)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:41 (eighteen years ago)

.info would be better

― JW, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:42 (eighteen years ago)

.tv?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:43 (eighteen years ago)

lolz

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:43 (eighteen years ago)

^^^^ OTM (both)

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:43 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.mil

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.museum

― JW, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.aero

― JW, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

I did not make a Tuomas joke, I made a phone booth joke

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:46 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.edu obv

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:46 (eighteen years ago)

guys i sort of really love that picture

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:46 (eighteen years ago)

jessie otm

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

MYVAG.BJ (Benin code)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

vag.ilicio.us

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.eh (Western Sahara code)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.no (Norway code)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:49 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.biz

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:49 (eighteen years ago)

myvag.za (South Africa code; also the idea of "vagza" ie some weird vagina-pizza hybrid is scaring)

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:50 (eighteen years ago)

(xpost: I am forced to find the idea of having a dried-up, sticky pisss: GROSS.))

Especially while I'm eating Jujyfruits.

― C0L1N B..., Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:53 (eighteen years ago)

omg that reminds me of the awful reason why i can't abide ppl dipping pizza in ranch sauce. like, at all.

btrps

― river wolf, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:54 (eighteen years ago)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SENSE A REALLY FUCKING HORRENDOUS STORY TELL TELL TELL

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:57 (eighteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/bagel.jpg

― 冷明, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 23:59 (eighteen years ago)

oh la la

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:01 (eighteen years ago)

lol "lox"

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:05 (eighteen years ago)

a friend of mine found a plastic bag on a beach near NYC during college. in it was a video tape, which he brought home.

AN OPEN AIR CAFE, MIDDAY: an obese woman is seated across a table from the camera, a plate of pizza in front of her. the picture quality is poor, the colors washed out. she is conversing with the cameraman between bites of pizza, each of which is dipped in ranch sauce. the conversation is casual enough, about her likes and dislikes, and their plans for the evening.

abruptly, CUT TO A DARKENED MOTEL ROOM: a small, gaunt man is slamming her from behind in the blue flicker of a television screen. he is, presumably, the interlocutor from the previous scene. she is moaning unconvincingly. the shot is wide, the camera having been placed across the room on a dresser or something. the business is short, he sags across her back, rolls over.

FIN.

― river wolf, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:07 (eighteen years ago)

it's not really fucking horrendous, but it was horrendous enough, and that's what counts.

also ranch is gross.

― river wolf, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:14 (eighteen years ago)

was there a date/time stamp

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:14 (eighteen years ago)

could you identify city

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:14 (eighteen years ago)

ok that's not nearly as bad as I was expecting (I have a friend who has an awful sex story that involves no condom and the girl afterwards going *SCOOP* "Want some?" and I thought this would be a variation, only with added pizza)

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:16 (eighteen years ago)

I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:17 (eighteen years ago)

my buddy lives in Pelham, he found it on....Coney Island?

beertrapz: no, dan, NO

― river wolf, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:17 (eighteen years ago)

it was just really depressing

― river wolf, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:18 (eighteen years ago)

The *SCOOP* story loses a lot without the attendent hand gestures/sound effects.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:21 (eighteen years ago)

NO IT'S STILL DISGUSTING.

― nickalicious, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:22 (eighteen years ago)

The *SCOOP* story loses a lot without the attendent hand gestures/sound effects.

It's worse to imagine the various possibilities.

― C0L1N B..., Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:22 (eighteen years ago)

was she a reporter

― latebloomer, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:26 (eighteen years ago)

[img][Removed Illegal Link]

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:27 (eighteen years ago)

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

http://images.apple.com/moviesxml/s/focus_features/posters/scoop_l200606151144.jpg

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:28 (eighteen years ago)

I just ate dammit, ffs

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:33 (eighteen years ago)

hahahaha

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:40 (eighteen years ago)

"hidden valley"

― nickalicious, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:45 (eighteen years ago)

I am punching every one of you.

― David R., Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:46 (eighteen years ago)

what an incredibly fortunate time i picked to have to leave.

howevver i do feel the need to say my piece: i never peed in the shower until one day in sophmore year of hs when a classmate informed me he alwaysa made sure to pee on his foot because 'it prevents athletes foot'. when i called him a disgusting fuck he acted as if this practice was totally normal. i said no really dude thats fucking gross then i went home & ive been doing it ever since. force of habit.

ps i havent had athletes foot once since

― deeznuts, Thursday, 19 April 2007 00:59 (eighteen years ago)

i peed on my leg once after getting stung by a jelly fish

― river wolf, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:00 (eighteen years ago)

"once"

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:01 (eighteen years ago)

"after getting stung by a jelly fish"

― max, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:09 (eighteen years ago)

what really makes me happy is someone somewhere is going to read this thread & piss on their foot in the morning.

btw person who is planning to piss on your foot & then read this & is having second thoughts, yes its a true story & we ARE in it together.

― deeznuts, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:16 (eighteen years ago)

"my leg"

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:31 (eighteen years ago)

"on"

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:37 (eighteen years ago)

"i peed"

― deeznuts, Thursday, 19 April 2007 01:47 (eighteen years ago)

(good work, everyone)

― HI DERE, Thursday, 19 April 2007 02:15 (eighteen years ago)

ALLY UREA TREAT

― remy bean, Thursday, 19 April 2007 02:27 (eighteen years ago)

LOCK THREAD

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 02:30 (eighteen years ago)

i love you, pee pee thread!

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 19 April 2007 03:08 (eighteen years ago)

Maybe bros should sit down more. There's often piss all over the floor in the men's toilet at work.

― Drooone, Thursday, 19 April 2007 03:11 (eighteen years ago)

maybe you should never learn not to stand in piss

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 19 April 2007 03:12 (eighteen years ago)

they're doing you a favor, you ungrateful cock

― JW, Thursday, 19 April 2007 03:19 (eighteen years ago)

cock.

― Drooone, Thursday, 19 April 2007 03:22 (eighteen years ago)

There's always going to be someone at the workplace that couldn't hit the broad side of a continent with their piss / poo.

― David R., Thursday, 19 April 2007 03:59 (eighteen years ago)

the worst is when someone leaves their post-lunch purge in the toilet. :/

― jessie monster, Thursday, 19 April 2007 04:07 (eighteen years ago)

NEVER HAVE I WANTED TO PEE IN SOMETHING SO BAD: http://www.trendir.com/archives/natures-call-flower-shaped-urinal-clark-sorensen-red-hibiscus.jpg

― remy bean, Thursday, 19 April 2007 04:10 (eighteen years ago)

NEVER HAVE I WANTED TO PEE IN SOMETHING SO BAD

nevar forget: http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/a3/e4/Clearblue_Easy_Digital_Pregnancy_Test-resized200.jpg

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 19 April 2007 04:28 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

This thread = awesomeness.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 00:50 (seventeen years ago)

twelve years pass...

https://www.healthline.com/health/shower-pee

Despite rumors to the contrary, urine is not sterile. It can contain dozens of different types of bacteria, including Staphylococcus and Streptococcus, which are associated with staph infections and strep throat, respectively.

However, bacteria counts are relatively low in healthy urine, though they may be much higher if you have a urinary tract infection (UTI).

― I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 10:28 (five years ago)

great revive

― a denim head and an aficionado of Japanese craftsmanship (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 10:32 (five years ago)

ffs

― I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 10:39 (five years ago)

anyway it's still supposedly not that bad (peeing in the shower), but just found it amusing a lot of the defense of this was based on an urban myth (sterile pee).

― I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 10:40 (five years ago)

thread is gold

― maffew12, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 11:32 (five years ago)

ok that's not nearly as bad as I was expecting (I have a friend who has an awful sex story that involves no condom and the girl afterwards going *SCOOP* "Want some?" and I thought this would be a variation, only with added pizza)
― HI DERE, Thursday, April 19, 2007 12:16 AM (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― peace, man, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 12:19 (five years ago)

lol maffew

― imago, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 12:56 (five years ago)

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