This type of EXCELSIOR can have LOL consequences: roffle with impunity here

good work on title

gracias big etc etc

all i know is that no "real" cheese has the delicious creamy texture of a well-heated whiz.

PLEASE REWORD THIS

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 08:02 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

dumb question

It's free association football!

what's so great about his back and how did it transform etc etc

-- g-kit, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 08:43 (2 minutes ago) Link

the entirety of the 't/s: fucking vs. sucking' thread. i haven't rofled like that in a long time.

i don't get it

xpost

probably because it's so clever

From the Chris Benoit thread:

I've just hunted down a wrestling forum - the postings are alternating between anger, remorse, rememberance and trying to decide wether to use "In Loving Memory" by Alter Bridge or "My Sacrifice" by Creed for a YouTube tribute.

-- Lynskey, Tuesday, June 26, 2007 4:55 AM (2 hours ago)

Jane Greer (is she dead?)
Olivia de Havilland (is she dead?)
Hedy Lamarr (of course!)

-- Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:53 (1 hour ago) Link

yes, Jane Greer dead.

-- Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:55 (1 hour ago) Link

Shame!

-- Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:56 (1 hour ago) Link

Well now you can sex her.

-- Ms Misery, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:58 (1 hour ago) Link

Hooray!

-- Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:58 (1 hour ago) Link

Did Dom Passantino have a wank over that NME cover with Beth Ditto on it?

Beth Ditto is frightening.

more of these threads plz ILM

-- bernard snowy, Tuesday, June 26, 2007 4:39 PM (3 hours ago)

don't hold your breath bernard

-- J0hn D., Tuesday, June 26, 2007 7:59 PM (3 minutes ago)

you guys know that you can set specific parameters for privacy on a person-by-person basis? so your boss, for example, doesn't have you see that your interests include "pedophilia" or "arson"?

-- max, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 03:56 (18 hours ago) Bookmark Link

why would you want to censor that

-- Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 04:12 (17 hours ago) Bookmark Link

max works at a daycare with no fire exits.

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 04:15 (17 hours ago) Bookmark Link

b-but surely the best bit was:

no fire exits makes it harder for arsonists to get in, see

-- Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, June 26, 2007 6:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

More like that mong guy that's shit

-- Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 14:25 (2 minutes ago)

THIS TYPE OF SHIT CAN HAVE IRL CONSEQUENCES

Pandora's box

lols so hard i had to leave the office. shameful.

"Chris Benoit got unhappy because he had a pain in his head and it made him do some bad things, so he has gone away to the sky to be judged by God. However if you don't go to sleep by 9pm he will appear under your bed and German suplex you repeatedly."

-- Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 14:47 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Will, if you can't tell the difference between a backrub and buttsex, I think you are very, very naive.

-- humansuit, Wednesday, June 27, 2007 5:34 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

.. or under local anaesthetic.

Every morning I look down at my cock and scream " I love you " . THen he crows.

-- Pennysong Hanle y, Friday, September 7, 2001 12:00 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

C : You are really silly.
H : You are Quirky.
R : Easy to fall in love with
I : Great in bed.
S : Fuckin crazy.

B : You like people.
E : Great in bed.
N : You like to drink.
O: awesome kisser.
I : Great in bed.
T : You're loyal to those you love.

-- DJ Mencap, Thursday, 28 June 2007 11:15 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I KNOW they're boring but people are boring! Not everyone's going to listen to the good stuff; they don't have the concentration or open-mindedness to appreciate sophistication and originality! Take 'My Computer', for instance, who released 'No CV', a staggeringly good record, in 2005, sold about 50 copies (or whatever), and now no longer exist. I mention them because I know for a fact that Geir himself actually likes that album. Good on him!

-- Just got offed, Thursday, 28 June 2007 16:37 (1 hour ago) Link

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, it's quite clear. We need to kill all students.

-- Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Thursday, 28 June 2007 16:54 (1 hour ago) Link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/MB.jpg

lipnicki corrupted

Come on "World in Motion" was terrible. EN GER LAND.

-- Trayce, Friday, 29 June 2007 07:59 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

pretty good lyrics for a New Order song.

-- blueski, Friday, 29 June 2007 08:06 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I guess maybe if you're already taken there's no signals of desperation that girls can pick up on! That might make you more attractive, I suppose. Can't say I've noticed much difference myself though.

-- Colonel Poo, Friday, 29 June 2007 19:27 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

your name is "colonel poo"

-- Tracer Hand, Friday, 29 June 2007 19:39 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

(I am so easily amused by toilet humour)

I am so easily amused by toilet humour

zing!

ps - don't be mean to trayce, she's a bro

Ah, ilx. As winter turns to spring, our thoughts turn to sexing. As spring turns to summer, our thoughts turn to sexing somebody else.

-- kenan, Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:36 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

you know what I really like? Small children.

-- kenan, Thursday, 28 June 2007 14:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

terrible juxtaposition there

sup

I just opened my blinds to see a fat girl chasing a skinny guy down the sidewalk past my window. Both had ear-to-ear grins and were running full-on, arms-pumping, knees-to-chest. I'd kinda like to see this in slo-mo and soundtracked with "What a Wonderful World."

-- kingkongvsgodzilla, 29. kesäkuuta 2007 2:45 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

gasps

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, 29. kesäkuuta 2007 4:01 (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for air

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, 29. kesäkuuta 2007 4:02 (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But a fat guy chasing a skinny girl, that would be hilarious

-- Heave Ho, 29. kesäkuuta 2007 5:21 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Link

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Especially sped up and to the tune of "Yakety Sax."

-- Brent, 29. kesäkuuta 2007 5:26 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"christian" like a fox

-- forksclovetofu, Tuesday, June 26, 2007 9:40 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

Umm I think if you arranged a big-city fight between people in dirty Chuck Taylors and people who are vigilant about having spotless sneakers, you would see a lot of indie kids cry.

-- nabisco, Friday, June 29, 2007 9:52 AM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Megatron never worried about fuckin' catharsis.

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Friday, June 29, 2007 8:16 AM (1 minute ago)

first post

————————
Sent from my iPhone Wireless Handheld

-- sanskrit, Friday, June 29, 2007 9:07 AM (24 minutes ago)

this thing is redic

————————
Sent from my iPhone Wireless Handheld

-- sanskrit, Friday, June 29, 2007 9:07 AM (24 minutes ago)

wow, the iphone adds instant lame-osity to all your posts!

-- Tracer Hand, Friday, June 29, 2007 9:12 AM (19 minutes ago)

i bet you're stoked though

-- Tracer Hand, Friday, June 29, 2007 9:28 AM (3 minutes ago)

Finding who was responsible will be like looking for a nail in a haymarket.

-- StanM, Friday, 29 June 2007 12:19 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE, JULY JULY?

funniest WDYLL ever (so far)

no. Just the most obnoxious.

I'm not sure LJ knows the diff...ah, fuck it too easy.

HAS ANYBODY HERE ACTUALLY TRIED TO LIGHT A LOT OF GASOLINE ON FIRE

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 2 July 2007 10:02 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

SERIOUSLY

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 2 July 2007 10:02 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

WHY IS THIS (incl. every other gang of "terrorists" which amounted to the same as a bunch of goff-lookin unpopular kids with a botched-up bittorrent copy of the anarchists' cookbook, cf ft dix, jfk, sears tower, what have you) BEING TREATED AS SOME KIND OF SYSTEMATIC THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITY

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 2 July 2007 10:04 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

FUCK OFF MY TELEPHONE WIRES AND QUIT BEING FUCKING AFRAID OF IDIOTS

ALTERNATIVELY, BAN THE SALE OF PETROL

THANK YOU

FUCK

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 2 July 2007 10:05 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

well it's not very nice

-- RJG, Monday, 2 July 2007 10:06 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I'm not sure LJ knows the diff...ah, fuck it too easy.

also, not particularly witty :-P

although better than the stuff on the south park thread ;-)

Louis, it's a quiet morning at the office. Please start a thread about indie, thanks.

Or we could have a nice cordial thread about football. You still haven't given me your comprehensive list of Great 90's Players, and What Made Them So Awesome.

GET A ROOM.

http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sonoma/04.25.02/gifs/talk-pix-0217.jpg

Interpol sure has had some weird promo shoots lately.

who would be the one panicking?

and then they lez up.

it's a bit like attacking when your opponent just missed a dragon punch, and is totally vulnerable in mid air.

-- ken c, Monday, 2 July 2007 13:03 (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I GET THIS THREAD NOW!

-- g-kit, Monday, 2 July 2007 13:04 (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I'm just curious what movies the AFI or whoever recommended this movie to Tracer compared it to, so that he DIDN'T expect what he got from "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion" starring Lisa Kudrow & Mira Sorvino.

-- da croupier, Monday, 2 July 2007 13:57 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

The whole thread is a winner.

hahaha every recent photo i've seen of lisa loeb is a picture of her with some life-sized sanrio character. i think japan purchased her or something.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, July 2, 2007 9:05 AM (10 seconds ago)

AHHHHH I WILL MARRY ANYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE TOPANGA EVEN IF SHE IS A NAZI

-- max, Monday, July 2, 2007 12:15 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

An angered Simon is reluctant to talk to his parents about his relationship with Georgia after Eric and Annie crash their date at a restaurant. However, Simon eventually drops the bomb that they are having sex and that he's currently on academic probation at college for skipping classes to be with her. Meanwhile, Simon's situation helps Eric realize that the church should teach teens the importance of abstinence and he asks Lucy to lead a class on the subject. Lucy agrees to the program, but with a few conditions. Also, an anxious Lucy and Kevin learn the sex of their new baby, and Lucy starts to question her ability to be a good mother. Matt is worried that Martin is still broken-hearted over Cecilia and will tell her about Simon's new relationship with Georgia, but Martin is on other issues. Lastly, Matt chips away at Ruthie's unwillingness to apologize to Martin over the incident of pulling down his pants at school, but doesn't lead to much progress with the chargin of Ruthie's growing attitude problem.

HO SNAP I NEED TO SEE THIS ONE

-- jessie monster, Monday, July 2, 2007 7:41 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I love the whole series of eps when Simon almost marries that crazy girl.

-- jessie monster, Monday, July 2, 2007 7:42 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

YES

-- strongohulkington, Monday, July 2, 2007 7:42 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

woah simon is having sex?!? last time i saw this he was like, 8.

-- tehresa, Monday, July 2, 2007 7:45 PM

now he is 9 and a man.

-- jessie monster, Monday, July 2, 2007 7:47 PM

YEAH ITS ALL A JOKE TO YOU GUYS

-- max, Tuesday, 3 July 2007 14:50 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

THIS SHIT HAS IRL CONSEQUENCES

-- max, Tuesday, 3 July 2007 14:50 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ALSO REVENGE OF THE NERDS 2 WAS FILMED AT MY SCHOOL

-- max, Tuesday, 3 July 2007 14:52 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

end movies quicker

especially this one:

goodfellas - "As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a grocer"

-- acrobat, Tuesday, July 3, 2007 12:42 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ROFFLE

Another gem from end movies thread:

Gimme Shelter: Despite San Francisco rock critics' protests that they're selling out to the Man, the Rolling Stones hire off-duty policemen as security for an outdoor concert.

-- If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Tuesday, July 3, 2007 8:45 PM (2 minutes ago)

oh, that's beautiful.

I distinctly remember the first time I saw vag close-up it reminded me of Arby's r.b.

-- wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 17:08 (53 minutes ago) Link

so true. i wanted to make that vag into a beef n cheddar so bad...

phil is a renowned coolio scholar. be on the look out for his forthcoming book on coolio's electric period.

-- scott seward, Thursday, 28 June 2007 18:05

Okay, I feel really bad for Max if that's his only claim to fame - "Revenge Of The Nerds 2 was filmed at my school".

Okay, I feel really bad for Max if that's his only claim to fame - "Revenge Of The Nerds 2 was filmed at my school".

-- Bimble, Thursday, 5 July 2007 03:56

the new 10 year anniversary issue was so disgustingly retro rock that I left it in the newsagent.

http://www.uncut.co.uk/magazine/

-- djmartian, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:43 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

i remember when mixmag made their ten-year special a 'dance music' number i cancelled my subscription.

-- That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:45 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

The emphasis on printed literature in the latest London Review of Books made me put my television through a foot

-- DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 16:06 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

DJ Mencap is good

DJ Mencap = up and comer

DADDY DAY CAMP

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/daddydaycamp/

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:44 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

DADDY DAY CAMP

;_;

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:44 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

DADDY DAY CAMP

;_;

;_;

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:45 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

DADDY DAY CAMP

;_;

;_;

;_;

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:45 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

DADDY DAY CAMP

;_;

;_;

;_;

;_;

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:45 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

DADDY DAY CAMP

;_;

;_;

;_;

;_;

;_;

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:45 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Ok that's about as much effort as this deserves.

-- n/a, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:45 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

HARRIED BLACK MAN 2 is the money line on that thread.

ty

I rather fancied this exchange, but I am a simple man with simple tastes:

Having not that much to do with this thread, I've noticed from recent movie trailers that hot chick falling down or smacking into something is the new guy getting hit in the nuts.

-- Hurting 2

I don't know, I think "guy getting hit in the nuts" is the perpetual "guy getting hit in the nuts."

-- n/a

Ok, maybe it's guy getting hit in the nuts for the 20-/30-something set.

-- Hurting 2

The *thinking man's* "guy getting hit in the nuts"

-- Hurting 2

i also enjoy 'teenage riot' and could see passing out on the grass to the laid back hippie vibes of slint

-- deej, Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:21 (1 hour ago) Link

No, you only like hip-hop. And Thin Lizzy.

-- jaymc, Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:26 (1 hour ago) Link

you broke jaymc

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:53 (37 minutes ago) Link

the xls is incorrect

-- deej, Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:57 (33 minutes ago)

"be sure to drink your ovaltine"

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, July 5, 2007 5:01 PM (2 hours ago)

(Context is all.)

From the past:

---

Come to think of it, what is so goddamn unsexy about men PP'ing it?

-- donut bitch (donut), Thursday, May 15, 2003 5:07 PM (4 years ago)

The balls.

-- Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, May 15, 2003 5:29 PM (4 years ago)

And what is so goddamn unsexy about the balls?

(I'm going to keep replying like this, you know)

-- donut bitch (donut), Thursday, May 15, 2003 5:35 PM (4 years ago)

from 'snorg girl looks crazy':

WTB: Finally, the question that could break a million hearts...single?
Alice: Yes actually. I am indeed single. I do like a guy right now but he is being stupid at the moment so we’ll see what happens with that.

Sorry, Alice. I'm just...in a weird time in my life right now.

-- latebloomer, Friday, 6 July 2007 13:44 (4 hours ago) Link

from noiseboard tuomas thread

Wow this thread! I should check the noise board more often.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 5 July 2007 11:58 (Yesterday) Link

I can't even remember writing that "head" thing. What thread is it from?

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 5 July 2007 12:01 (Yesterday) Link

nice

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 5 July 2007 12:02 (Yesterday) Link

WTF Kenna is on Bravo right now. Some of these songs must be on the new album, making it better than I thought it might be.

-- Johnny Fever, Saturday, July 7, 2007 6:38 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Who's this act that's opening up the NY concert? Jesus Jones and the Blowfish?

-- MC, Saturday, July 7, 2007 6:40 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

from the live earth thread, for context.

Also from that thread:

Alex Macpherson removed "madonna" from his favorite music. 12:25pm

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Sunday, July 8, 2007 4:42 AM (2 hours ago)

we all gripe about white people for 650 posts, enjoy some cocktails on the porch, and then kill ourselves.

-- strongohulkington, Monday, June 18, 2007 5:44 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

<3

An oldie but a goodie:

No song well help you if you're bad in bed, unless the lyrics go something like, "Stop writhing around like an idiot/And do something with that tongue/Before she falls asleep".

(Against his better judgement, he presses send...)

-- Dan Perry, Thursday, 5 April 2001 10:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

hypothesis: Eye is the Bob Marley of New Weird.

-- Snop Snitchin, Monday, July 9, 2007 10:00 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What was Bob Marley the Bob Marley of?

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, July 9, 2007 10:07 AM (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

reggae

-- Tim Ellison, Monday, July 9, 2007 10:08 AM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

2007 -- I got turned in for terrorism & left the iron on: D D D D D D.

-- Eyeball Kicks, Monday, July 9, 2007 5:40 PM (7 minutes ago)

i didn't know you were a terrorist! wow. hope that works out okay.

-- scott seward, Monday, July 9, 2007 5:45 PM (2 minutes ago)

I like the idea of twats rising up - not so much to say howdy - but to overthrow our bourgeois capitalist oppressors.

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, July 9, 2007 2:58 PM (Yesterday)

Posts like that are why Scott Seward is ILX's MVP.

xpost

When I beat Kid Icarus my father laughed at me and threw out my mini baseball helmet collection.

-- Belisarius, Saturday, July 7, 2007 3:29 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

haha omg
tragi-comedy

but reversed, kind of

that is cracking me the fuck up right now

i can't stop reading it!

That's how she ended up with an enormous rabbit. She asked a friend what the best thing to pleasure herself would be, and the friend said, "I recommend a rabbit. A big one."

-- kenan, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 11:55 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

The woman is actually Amelia Bedelia.

-- kenan, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 12:01 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

xpost: yeah, what does that even MEAN?

that was an x-post?

I was just at an indian restaurant in old town estonia with a career secret service agent who became a vegetarian because of adbusters magazine and aggravates his wife by pointing out that he'd still vote for ralph nader. While we were finishing off the third round of beers this bachelorette party came over all wearing rabbit ears on their heads and made us buy carrots from a basket being carried by the bride, for about 25 estonian kroons each, about $2.70.

Photos.

I mean, guys like kenan can keep trying to be weird, they got nothing on government work, is all I'm saying.

YSI

I've been to Tallinn.

http://www.mccullagh.org/db9/d30-14/bunny-dancing-1.jpg

o u bich

http://www.mccullagh.org/db9/d30-14/bunny-dancing-1.jpg

Decepticon-Shirt has the right idea there.

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 2:54 PM (Tuesday, July 10, 2007 2:54 PM) Bookmark Link

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he's standing on the rainbow staircase of disbelief

-- Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 2:56 PM (Tuesday, July 10, 2007 2:56 PM) Bookmark Link

different people might dislike different things about different carriers but i think it's pretty well-established that at&t's network is better than t-mobile's almost everywhere, so i would think you'd have to prefer the latter on some other factor

-- gabbneb, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 7:26 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Wow, gabbneb IS always that annoying.

-- Laurel, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 7:27 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

TOMBOT, was that the Indian Restaurant in the main square? Maharaja? I was at that on Saturday for a stag weekend. are being harrassed by a crazy Russian veteran of the Afghan war who spoke to us in Russian for like 30 minutes despite the fact that none of use speak a word of Russian. We asked the waitresses to translate what he was saying, but they wouldn't because they said it was, "very offensive".

http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/2521/n50576131912576843jf0.jpg

And I came here to post:

i can't stop laughing...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1155/751884298_65d0414cb8_o.jpg

-- scott seward, Sunday, 8 July 2007 03:35 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

Explain! Is that woman holding a portrait of herself? She looks unimpressed =D

-- Trayce, Sunday, 8 July 2007 03:53 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

years and years ago i did a painting of the actress parker posey and i gave it to my brother. today he gave it to her. you think she'll get it framed? hahahahaha!

-- scott seward, Sunday, 8 July 2007 03:59 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

OMG!!!!!

someone buy scott's brother something awesome

Buy them BOTH something awesome.

posey can afford to buy her own awesome stuff

CAEK:

did he finish his monologue with a very decipherable "FUCK YOU?" because my SS comrade describes a similar experience. Yes that is the same restaurant. Surprisingly good.

also probably not the thread for it but I kind of feel like telling the ethnic nationalist russians in estonia to, uh, go the fuck home, it's a fucking bus trip, if you hate it so much over here.

sorry caek but this needs to go here too:

Whoa, is that Parker Posey with a painting of David Bowie ca. 1968? rad.

-- caek, Tuesday, July 10, 2007 7:04 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

this has in itself justified fake indie cinema icon parker posey.

scott seward = somewhere very very near the center of the pop culture universe.

xxxxpost: No "fuck you", but he looked like he knew some of our party were taking the piss because we had been the the beer festival all day and were profoundly drunk. He got increasingly irritated while he was describing the four ("FOUR! FOUR!") times he was shot and we were laughing at him.

Must have been the same guy though. He was there later on in the evening when we walked past and shouted at us, so I guess he hangs out there. Rather than, as you say, going the fuck home. The waitresses were Estonian and obviously hated him. Weird shit between between those countries. We have a Russian friend who was supposed to come on the weekend, but they wouldn't give him a visa because, as he tells it, he is Russian.

And yes, it was surprisingly good! We arrived expecting the worst, but it was like any OK Indian in the UK.

no! there was no way of knowing this guy was into crazy sensitive guy bullshit at all otherwise i would've been dnw. he also waited until date to reveal the fact that his last name was W0NKA

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:30 (54 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

How do you respond when someone asks you out while you're DJing? That kinda left me speechless, I had to pretend I didn't hear her.

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, December 16, 2005 11:40 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If she's cute, you say YES, Tuomas. Christ in a bucket, how we hold your hand sometimes.
-- moley, Friday, December 16, 2005 12:09 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

tu0_omas

He's great, I can relate to him in some ways. ie obliviousness.

I liked how he was spotted on a Barcelona hillside.

by his creators

No no, he had a perfectly reasonable explanation -- he didn't want to go out with her. It was just the phrasing of Moley's response that got me.

the idea that being asked out while DJ'ING is some sort of gross impropriety

Precious, precious context.

Attractive, yes. 'Cool and funny', no.

-- the pinefox, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
Funny (though not on purpose), yes. Attractive, most definitively not. What is wrong with you lot? You all worry me. She looks like she got beat with an ugly stick. All of the others are prettier, why don't we talk about them?

-- Ally, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
What's an ugly stick?

-- Ronan, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
I once made a statement that Ms. Posh had barracuda teeth. I stand by that statement.

These days, the most attractive Spice Girl is Emma. I am COMPLETELY SHOCKED by this, as I always considered her ultra-icky.

-- Dan Perry, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
Ally, such typical sexism! Judging women on their looks! I heart Posh Spice because she's cool and smart and funny and is probably the nicest person ever!

-- dave q, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
I would argue that the coaster on my desk is a hair smarter than Mrs. Beckham. You're talking about a woman who told Jon Stewart on national television that British comedians were funnier than him because their humor was based in sarcasm.

-- Dan Perry, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
"So I guess you missed the sarcasm dripping from my voice all interview, princess?"

-- Ally, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
Cue Emma dissolving into helpless giggles. I always thought she and Geri were smarter than the others.

-- Dan Perry, Tuesday, September 11, 2001 5:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

^ awesome

never forget

curtis otm

Don't Milko my Wilco

-- El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:27 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

maybe she was possessed?

-- jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:30 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

Or having sex with a ghost.

-- El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:31 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

9 months later...

-- Just got offed, Thursday, 12 July 2007 05:07 (16 hours ago) Bookmark Link

...andi was born

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 12 July 2007 05:07 (16 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i thought it was when you hooked up with someone drunk on sparks

-- strongohulkington, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:34 (Yesterday) Link

"your kisses taste like pez"

-- deej, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:35 (Yesterday) Link

hahahahaha!

yeah, somebody should seriously post an EASILY OFFENDED stylesheet!

1) images all 300 x 300 or smaller
2) expletives replaced with !$@#%?
3) ..?

-- remy bean, Thursday, July 12, 2007 9:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

3) replaces all Dom P posts with pictures of Nathalie's daughter.

-- gr8080, Thursday, July 12, 2007 9:34 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

what if he spooges on Ned's prying face as it leers from the corner of the picture?

-- Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00

(I didn't actually read the rest of the thread, no)

-- StanM, Friday, 13 July 2007 06:05 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well you should. It's decently hilarious.

-- Drooone, Friday, 13 July 2007 06:16 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I...

I just did...

omg!

-- StanM, Friday, 13 July 2007 06:18 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

bubblewrap! zach braff did a gag about that.

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, July 13, 2007 4:44 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

... and now i suddenly stopped liking it.

-- nathalie, Friday, July 13, 2007 4:50 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

why revive 14 doglatin threads?

-- blueski, Friday, 13 July 2007 12:52 (49 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Gooblar, I don't get it. :-(

the implic that Dom P posts easily offend?

Oh, sorry. I R RETARD.

And that pictures of O make everyone nicer and more civil because of awwwwwwwww factor.

Where is StanM exchange from?

# TS: My Little Pony vs. Care Bears

4 Real.

kv: it's from big news !

Wow.

hahahahaha, call me GHOSTFUCKER.

Surely the Larry David bit about bubble wrap cancels out the Braff one. So we're back to zero with bubble wrap.

girls in glasses are hot

-- 696, Friday, July 13, 2007 4:43 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

well, hot girls in glasses are hot, anyway

-- 696, Friday, July 13, 2007 4:44 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i dont really like the others ones so much

-- 696, Friday, July 13, 2007 4:44 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

but i kid! i'm just slow. i can barely keep up with ilx. wait, that's not true. i can barely keep up with ilx + my e-mail + making lunch for my children.

sometimes i get confused and make my kids eat my e-mail while posting a summary of my record purchases onto a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

-- scott seward, Friday, July 13, 2007 1:07 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

OK - so by accident or design, we've reached this point.

I've been posting on ILx for over six years primarily to have fun and to relieve the inevitable tedium which comes from having a day job which I do perhaps too well and leave myself too much time to think and ponder. In times of crisis it has proved a lifeline; even through my own well-documented ups-and-downs (including substantial hateful behaviour on my part in the past; I admit it and the reasons behind it are well known), other people here have proved invaluable, whether admonitory (cutting me down to size when I deserved it) or reassuring (boosting my self-esteem when I needed it), and the most important of them have become close, long-term friends. Some here will argue that ILx is not a substitute psychotherapist's couch, and I would agree with that; it isn't really the kind of place for long-form exhaustive arguments or treatises since blogs and FT serve that purpose better.

But "barred" is an unwarranted slap, and since I have not participated in mass revivals of any ILx poster's threads I can only assume that there are long-standing personal reasons behind this. And when certain moderators seem to make it their business to wage an continuing, obscure and tedious psychological war against me, to the extent that they are driven to "bar" me from an entire message board, then there doesn't seem any point in my staying around here, and I feel it would be much less pain and hassle to take my thoughts and views elsewhere, so that's what I'm going to concentrate on doing in future. If nothing else, it just isn't fun here anymore. My life is good at the moment and there's no room in it for these kinds of mind games.

So well done, chaps - you've got what you wanted. I hope it makes you feel better, and happier.

To everyone else - have a nice life, and goodbye.

-- Marcello Carlin, Friday, July 13, 2007 3:03 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f163/courtneykaehler/maracas.jpg
-- blueski, Friday, July 13, 2007 3:08 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

oop wrong thread sorry

-- blueski, Friday, July 13, 2007 3:08 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

holy shit¡

sometimes ILX has everything in the same minute, doesn't it?

http://i14.tinypic.com/54byhjb.gif

That reminds me of a thread I wanted to start.

Dammit, I had always heard it as "The European canon is here", not "cannon".

-- Z S, Thursday, July 12, 2007 5:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Yeah, it's "canon."

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, July 12, 2007 5:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Silent "n"

-- Tom D., Thursday, July 12, 2007 5:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

how do you tell if a horse is gay?

-- Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 11:30 (Wednesday, 18 January 2006 11:30) Bookmark Link

i don't know, how do you tell if a horse is gay?

-- Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 11:31 (Wednesday, 18 January 2006 11:31) Bookmark Link

too much pressure

-- Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 11:34 (Wednesday, 18 January 2006 11:34) Bookmark Link

From the Beckham thread re. England:

gah well what do you call it when they win a match as part of the european cup tournament?

-- Tracer Hand, Sunday, 15 July 2007 11:05 (Sunday, 15 July 2007 11:05)

A fluke?

-- aldo, Sunday, 15 July 2007 11:06 (Sunday, 15 July 2007 11:06)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivian_Bendall

"In the run-up to the 1997 general election, Bendall was criticised in the press as a 'slum landlord', due to a number of low-quality dwellings in his ownership. He unexpectedly lost his seat to Labour's Linda Perham in 1997. He ran for his old constituency in 2001 on a "Ban L0u1s J@gger" platform, but failed to regain his seat."

cows doing horrible things to chickens and human beings on noise board is pretty funny

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_Raggett

GIGANTIC LOLS

Hooray!

Pi/Poo... ahh the classics always the best. Aw it has been reverted again already though.

But the Vivian Bendall one hasn't! *chortle*.

wonder how many times someone said "lol i was gonna go as Anal Cunt but the costume was already hired out"

-- blueski, Monday, 16 July 2007 08:59 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

is that a naked woman with an electric guitar? Fucking sweet.

-- kenan, Monday, July 16, 2007 10:09 AM (13 minutes ago)

stop it

-- ghost rider, Monday, July 16, 2007 10:14 AM (8 minutes ago)

he's been telling me that all morning. I'm starting to think he has a point.

re Ned's Wiki page: He lists My Bloody Valentine as his favorite band.

O RLY?

From BondageSM thread:

Can you really get online training for this? Do you sign up with some dubious "university", send in pics of you dressed up in leathah and then someone evaluates your progress?

-- stevienixed, maandag 16 juli 2007 Bookmark Link

If you fail your exams, they don't punish you.

-- Hello Sunshine, maandag 16 juli 2007 Bookmark Link

bueno

IMDB plot keywords for "Running Scared"

Exploding Body / Disturbing / Slap In The Face / Ethnic Slur / Breasts

-- Oilyrags, Monday, 16 July 2007 22:14 (1 hour ago) Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh wait, there's more

* Exploding Body
* Disturbing
* Slap In The Face
* Ethnic Slur
* Breasts
* Racial Discrimination
* Drug Dealer
* Female Nudity
* Violent Movie
* Racial Slur
* American Dream
* Racial Prejudice
* Slit Throat
* Racist Comment
* Shotgun
* Intense Violence
* Racism
* Sick
* Suicide
* Sewer
* Prostitute
* Bumbling
* Child Pornography
* Faked Death
* Child With Gun
* Shot In The Back
* Urban Nightmare
* Shot In The Chest
* Pedophile
* Gore
* Pistol
* Pistol Whip
* Exploding House
* Exploding Building
* Knife
* Murder
* Blowtorch
* Bathroom
* Blood
* Hell On Earth
* Strip Club
* Severed Ear
* Police Officer Killed
* Car Accident
* Person On Fire
* Semi Unrealistic
* Throat Slitting
* Shot In The Stomach
* Head Butt
* Shot In The Leg
* Undercover Agent
* Shootout
* Funeral
* FBI Agent
* Shot In The Shoulder
* Ice Hockey
* Child Abuse
* Irresponsibility
* Vulgarity
* Modern Life
* Absurd Violence
* Cell Phone
* Shot In The Forehead
* Gunfight
* Death
* Shot To Death
* Toilet
* Sleaze
* Kidnapping
* Ear Biting
* Child Uses Gun
* Female Frontal Nudity
* Gash In The Face
* Pimp
* Head Blown Off
* Shot In The Head
* Disgust
* Broken Finger
* Toilet Flush
* Blood Splatter
* Shot In The Crotch
* Black Light
* Stupidity
* Twist In The End

-- Oilyrags, Monday, 16 July 2007 22:14 (1 hour ago) Link

hahahaha "Bumbling"

aw man I can't stand Bumbling in a movie. Shit gives me the willies for days.

I only get my information from non-partisan sites like http://dontuseuhaul.com/ and http://www.uhaulisbad.com/

-- admrl, Monday, 16 July 2007 18:47 (

I thought that Running Scared referred to the Gregory Hines/Billy Crystal movie. I was very confused.

* Ear Biting
* Child Uses Gun
* Female Frontal Nudity
* Gash In The Face
* Pimp
* Head Blown Off
* Shot In The Head
* Disgust

Archaic slang terms make living fun.

cosine

lolololol

shot in the head ---> disgust pretty funny too

I am the emperor and I'm here to take over state government

A+++++ :D

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 17 July 2007 15:50 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

well you have to start somewhere.

-- Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 15:54 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I wonder what he would have done if he was successful

-- bnw, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 15:59 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"Bring me... a Hot Pocket."

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 16:07 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i want to see this movie.

xpost

From what I understand it's like a combination of horseshoes and Bozo buckets?

-- jaymc, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 4:59 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

^^the first time anyone has said "it's like Bozo buckets" to clarify something

-- Jordan, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 5:03 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Bozo buckets = new 8080

Dimension 5ive 8020 8uckets

jaymc, whom I've never met, showed up at a party in one of my dreams this morning. He was looking for Trayce, but I hadn't seen her.

-- Jaq, Wednesday, 18 July 2007 01:57 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

He must have left his .xls at home.

-- Trayce, Wednesday, 18 July 2007 08:17 (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

As I woke up, I realized he'd found the party b/c he had my address in the .xls.

-- Jaq, Wednesday, 18 July 2007 08:36 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Haha. I never read that thread, but I think Trayce might have been in one of *my* dreams a few weeks ago!

Or maybe I just made that up.

Dear Dirty Gutterpunk Girl Who Bought The Sparks and who was probably lesbian,

I know you want it.

-- wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 7:26 PM

(context: contrating Matt Dillon in "There's Something About Mary" with Kevin Dillon in "Entourage")

isn't kevin dillon just doing a matt dillon impersonation for entourage?

-- Tracer Hand, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:31 AM (Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:31 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

his character is sort of like what matt dillon's brother would be like if he had one!!

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:33 AM (Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:33 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whoa

what?

-- Tracer Hand, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:35 AM (Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:35 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh

-- Tracer Hand, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:35 AM (Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:35 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wait

-- Tracer Hand, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:35 AM (Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:35 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

take my hand

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:37 AM (Wednesday, July 18, 2007 10:37 AM) Bookmark Link

Hahaha

Meanwhile (ref. Posh Spice thread with numerous posts on 9/11):

---

i can just imagine someone finding this thread in the future and, seeing the date, coming to some strange conclusions...

-- ryan, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:36 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

I can just imagine the future being a wad of shit.

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:41 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

heyo.

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:41 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

---

you are rather seriously overrating michael vick's quarterbacking ability.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, July 18, 2007 11:02 AM (2 minutes ago)

Ally, that guy could SHRED teams with the right coach. You know it.

-- B.L.A.M., Wednesday, July 18, 2007 11:03 AM (1 minute ago)

which coach are you talking about? christ?

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, July 18, 2007 11:04 AM (58 seconds ago)

It's never really worth trying to answer a Tuomas "What does X even mean?" question, you know. Pretty soon you're explaining sandwiches or something.

-- John Justen, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 2:30 PM (9 minutes ago)

HI DERE WAHT IS PB&J MAED

-- Ned Raggett, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 2:35 PM (4 minutes ago)

http://www.superchefblog.com/images/goobergrape_72dpi200x300pxl.png

-- Mr. Que, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 2:36 PM (3 minutes ago)

How do you wrap the bread around the jar?

-- John Justen, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 2:38 PM (1 minute ago)

!!

My cousins from Florida used to send me that when I was a kid. I want some now!!

there are many times i hunt down weaklings making post insulting good name of black metal by praising false christain weakling music (you call it "indy jones" or "british music" or "death metal") and you not hear of them again.

-- Vas Djifrens, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 2:42 PM (1 minute ago)

Ooh, tough guy!

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 18 July 2007 20:53 (2 hours ago)

Haha. I never read that thread, but I think Trayce might have been in one of *my* dreams a few weeks ago!

Hey I get around, what can I say? ;D

i hate ferrets. they reek, and they're really bad-tempered.

-- lauren (laurenp), Thursday, April 29, 2004 9:47 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link
I was more bothered/surprised by the 'knock the poor and homeless' thing of picking on heroin and Tennents Super, but hey, I'm English.

-- N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, April 29, 2004 9:50 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link
Okay, I have no idea which thread that was suppsosed to go on but I am inordinately happy it ended up here.

-- VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, April 29, 2004 9:52 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

folks that think pushing a stroller makes them more priviledged

know what you mean about things of this sort this but perhaps you're being a little bit too much of a dick?

-- RJG, Thursday, 19 July 2007 13:07 (3 minutes ago) Link

I have had 3 ferrets and they're the exact opposite of bad-tempered. They are always happy and in a good mood no matter what happens. Even when they're being bad and I try to discipline them it just makes them jump around and make happy ferret noises even more!

they crawl under your f*cking door and attack. the cuteness of said attack is really neither here nor there

Most learn not to bite humans hard enough to hurt them and some don't even bite at all. One of my three, however, does bite my feet in a way that is more bruising than cute. I can see how someone would not appreciate that kind of behavior, but I'm used to being scratched by my cats so it's no big deal to me.

I know and these fucking stroller babies driving around in their SUVs sippin' their lah-tays yapping on their blackberries so the world can hear - I don't care HOW many abortions you've had, just serve me my food.

-- Hurting 2, Thursday, July 19, 2007 6:23 AM (39 minutes ago)

is everything ok at home hurting

-- ghost rider, Thursday, July 19, 2007 6:40 AM (23 minutes ago)

i worry, lately

-- ghost rider, Thursday, July 19, 2007 6:40 AM (23 minutes ago)

hurting's joke is funnier on its own

WTF? No. Andy Dick may be a bona-fide, dyed-in-the-wool asshole, but he's not doing fucking Subway commercials. Or, you notice, talking to Dennis Douchenozzle Miller.

-- kenan, Thursday, July 19, 2007 9:57 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

the two signs of suicide.

-- s1ocki, Thursday, July 19, 2007 9:59 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

I just spent fifteen minutes trying to find a picture of Neil Peart wearing sweatpants. Then, i came to my senses.

-- Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, January 3, 2005 10:01 AM (Monday, January 3, 2005 10:01 AM) Bookmark Link

i liked the use of the impression that i get in the brett favre hitler car scene in toy story 2, it was a little left field but i see what they were going for.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, July 19, 2007 1:34 PM (Thursday, July 19, 2007 1:34 PM) Bookmark Link

dude i literally have my hand over my mouth trying to stifle laughter over the james spader/flagpole sitta thing going on on that thread!!

The funniest thing about this is that I think Andy Dick is maybe one of five people that Jon Lovitz could successfully beat up.

-- HI DERE, Thursday, 19 July 2007 14:21 (5 hours ago) Link

I have a co-worker in his mid-60s who looks at porn at work. He thinks he's being surreptitious by shielding the screen with a piece of paper, but another co-worker, who sits in the cubicle next to him, has reported seeing vast amounts of titties over the past few months. :/

-- jaymc, Thursday, July 19, 2007 11:10 PM (Thursday, July 19, 2007 11:10 PM)

Huuuge tracts of land!

I call it "the real internet" and people go "oooo wow" but I tell them it's a secret then they check my history and I get caught for strokin' to porn at work. :(

-- dean ge, Thursday, July 19, 2007 4:54 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

loving the TINY bag, luna. how much can you fit in there?

-- blueski, Thursday, July 19, 2007 11:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Hawt Aimee =D

-- Trayce, Thursday, July 19, 2007 11:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Oh, you know, just the essentials...

-- luna, Thursday, July 19, 2007 11:13 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

tear gas

-- RJG, Thursday, July 19, 2007 11:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I guess this would be the time to repeat that I could've sworn she was saying "They tried to make me Puerto Rican and I said no, no, no" the first time I heard it (live and extra slurry on some talk show).

-- marmotwolof, Friday, July 20, 2007 12:12 AM (47 minutes ago)

Dom's an interesting person but I really wouldn't want to be him.

-- acrobat, Friday, 20 July 2007 07:46 (7 hours ago)

haha, this really is like Digital Spy which is all "woah, top gossip, except I have a Lex-like understanding of the existence of this person but woah nonetheless"

-- ailsa, Friday, 20 July 2007 07:13 (1 minute ago)

"Gary's Got An Autonomic Dilation of Arteries"

-- Rock Hardy, Thursday, July 19, 2007 9:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I was a summer camp counselor for years. One of my favorite kids ever was a little boy named Andrew who looked like a mini John Lovitz. He came in really early one morning and when I pointed this out, he turned to his Dad and said, "Tony, Tony, Tony. I told you not to walk me up so early. Did I not?" Andrew was four.

-- ENBB, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 8:34 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

Those people who say you should puke at the gym are probably the same people who triumphantly shit themselves at the end of a marathon.

-- La Lechera, Friday, July 20, 2007 8:15 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

haha

Fiddy Cent Singles Poll

It's all worthless bullshit. Raise your standards.

-- Alex in NYC, Saturday, July 21, 2007 7:41 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this fuckin guy

I like eating meat and wearing leather products because it makes me feel connected to history

-- bernard snowy, Saturday, July 21, 2007 8:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

haha you fucking indie rock faggots have never hung out with electronic music nerds have you? ps steve goldberg your music sucks

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, July 22, 2007 10:37 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Sometimes following all the links through old threads is so worthwhile.

http://www.links.net/vita/trip/japan/food/tsukiji/pix/042-ugly.lg.jpg
Masturbation can damage the delicate flesh of a young man's penis.

-- Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, November 3, 2003 9:11 PM (Monday, November 3, 2003 9:11 PM) Bookmark Link

omg

:(

Jay-Z, Strokes, Fall

-- President Evil, Monday, July 23, 2007 7:27 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

^ that's usually how sex goes for me 2

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, July 23, 2007 8:04 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

the orphan thing is specifically popular in children's literature because every kid wants to find out s/he's secretly a wizard or space alien and can do awesome cool shit with lasers

-- Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 01:28 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I speak from experience

-- Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 01:29 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Morrissey may have the edge over Madonna on zings but there is still the swimsuit round

-- blueski, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 9:51 AM (Tuesday, July 24, 2007 9:51 AM) Bookmark Link

there's something kind of sad watching Kelly Clarkson bend over and take it like a good little indentured servant.

-- Dandy Don Weiner, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 3:41 PM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

somehow your choice of words made me feel something other than sad.

-- Alex in Baltimore, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 3:47 PM (37 minutes ago)

I weave yoghurt for the earth mother.

-- Ed, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 15:14 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

from RIP Weekly World News and filed in "the subtle ones work best on me":

This isn't surprising but sad all the same. Towards the end it was all half truths and unreliable sources.
-- brownie, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 12:20 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you should give them a funeral: inflate them, sing "somewhere over the rainbow" at them then release them into the ether. they will see the blue sky and feel the wind on their smooth stretchy faces and be freed from the stark plastic walls of their storage tub crypt.

-- estela, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 13:24 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

this all made me imagine kelly clarkson as the earth mother, bending over to take her yogurt. as a cover story in the WWN, perhaps.

My Jungian December

burger bowels

-- latebloomer, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 12:46 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

oh yeah i forgot that the first time i went to kim's in nyc the clerk invited me to a party!! a chick clerk too!!

wait why didn't i go to that party??

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 10:40 AM (

U R Gay

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 10:44 AM (

Shakey i envision you just now sitting in your underpants, blasting "Down by the River" as you watch Rachel Ray.

-- sanskrit, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 11:00 AM (Yesterday)

Meg Swan = get venti in the pants

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11:39 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i wish i was at home blasting things in my underpants :(

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 1:15 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

wait that came out wrong

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 1:15 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^

hay where's skot's thread on ELR?? he had this genius insight that every single character on the show has nothing but extreme contempt for everyone else, but instead of it being this harrowing horrorshow of domestic misery and reduced horizons, it's, like, a sitcom. "o'neill w/o the booze" i think? i'd go with that. but it still blows.

-- gff, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11:54 AM (22 minutes ago)

he had this genius insight that every single character on the show has nothing but extreme contempt for everyone else

genius insight???! i saw one episode, and it was pretty evident that all the characters wanted to do was put each other down, mercilessly, line after line!

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11:56 AM

you'll note there was something after the comma there louis

-- gff, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11:56 AM (20 minutes ago)

and i then addressed the bit after the comma, saying that this was a standard UK sitcom trope, wishing death, bestowing hatred on inseparable companions. yeah, a slight laxness in argument, really EXCELSIOR material.

http://images.askmen.com/fashion/austin_100/129b_fashion_style.jpg

don't be so defensive dude

i r tired, this is just like the golden era. which reminds me, THREE AND A HALF HOURS until my ILX ANNIVERSARY!!! :-D

Wait that means I've been here longer than a year? Huh.

is that the first time someone told you to go away? Special.

And dude don't say "golden era."

xpost

OH NOES I FORGOTS TO BAKE A CAKE.

ok, the 'nasty transitional phase'

http://www.derby.gov.uk/NR/rdonlyres/82C488AC-1050-44AB-8709-39B0EED417E0/0/butterfly8.jpg

http://photos-951.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v79/223/37/36921951/n36921951_34113057_9110.jpg

*themself

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 1:53 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

xpost omg

I am lying in my hillside home choking on the threads of my silk shirt.

-- admrl, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 3:53 PM

OK Bret, calm down.

-- Spencer Chow, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 3:54 PM (1 minute ago)

which housing works?! there are many in manhattan, u know.

-- tehresa, Thursday, July 26, 2007 1:13 AM (Thursday, July 26, 2007 1:13 AM) Bookmark Link

Edited for Roffles:

where is this? do not reschedule on my account, as I said goodbye to AdamRL last night and will again before he leaves, and I don't need to remind you all that I find most of you detestable.

-- akm, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 23:26 (Wednesday, 25 July 2007 23:26)

you offered me a hand job last sunday?

-- Steve Shasta, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 23:27 (Wednesday, 25 July 2007 23:27)

i didn't say it would be any good (xpost)

-- akm, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 23:49 (Wednesday, 25 July 2007 23:49)

ooh a pity HJ, romance is in the air.

-- Steve Shasta, Thursday, 26 July 2007 00:08 (Thursday, 26 July 2007 00:08)

Bugger. Should have removed that xpost!

SO FUNNY i just reconnected with my choir teacher from back home - we were at the same high school as LiLo. she told me she had her in Choir for 2 years! ha. imagine Llindsay Lohan practicing scales??

-- Surmounter, Thursday, July 26, 2007 6:14 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.kankakeecountysheriff.com/kamegphotos/scale2Large.jpg

-- Mr. Que, Thursday, July 26, 2007 6:15 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

HA

well done

i've come a long way too. the urge to kill people on t.v. and movie threads on ile is waning in me. it's all good. just don't revive the mad t.v. thread.

-- scott seward, Thursday, July 26, 2007 10:10 AM

ugh. Did I start that one? I very well may have.

-- kenan, Thursday, July 26, 2007 10:11 AM

heh... I started one of three "I hate Mad TV" threads.

-- kenan, Thursday, July 26, 2007 10:12 AM

i know where you live.

-- scott seward, Thursday, July 26, 2007 10:14 AM

the only comment i can recall receiving, in my 5-6 years frequenting the same record stores in austin texas, goes like this...

scene: cheapo records
date: 2004
record bought: air, 'talkie walkie'

myself: *sets talkie walkie onto counter*

clerk: "oh wow, i didn't think you had good taste in music, but this record is great..."

-- stephen, Thursday, July 26, 2007 9:37 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that record sucks btw

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, July 26, 2007 9:47 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

This is more of a "posts very much in character," but since I can't post it there:

It wasn't the clunkyness of the lyrics that I disliked. I understand that that's part of his m.o.. It was more the woe-is-me tone of the thing, the badly phrased word play, and all the crap about "their" (upper middle class white kids?) "dreams" not coming true. Oh and the awful video with that trite bleeding nose imagery that's been done so many fucking times.

-- filthy dylan, Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:30 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Right, because there's clearly no awareness of those things built into the song.

-- Hurting 2, Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:31 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

There is, which doesn't change anything. Being self aware of your bullshit disposition doesn't make me connect any more.

-- filthy dylan, Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:37 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

...

Sorry, but you just sound sour grapes. I don't think there's anything in the song that says "Feel sorry for a bunch of upper middle class kids trying to make careers in the arts and be hip," but the fact is there are tens of thousands of those kids in Brooklyn right now, and I don't see why they're unworthy of humorous commentary. I think you're taking the song a bit seriously.

-- Hurting 2, Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:43 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

...

Why shouldn't we feel sorry for them?

-- St3ve Go1db3rg, Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:48 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Isn't "posts very much in character" just the Noise Board version of ILEpitaphs?

Isn't the Noise Board just the Noise Board version of ILE?

isn't jaymc just the jaymc version of "being obtuse about noise board"?

....is noize board an object?

Is?

aren't noise bands just jam bands?

Wha...? I wasn't trying to be contentious or anything. I like the Noise Board and most of its denizens and didn't think it was controversial to point out that there are threads on the Noise Board that have equivalents on ILE/ILM. The "what are you listening to?" thread is another one. The point of me bringing it up at all was that Hurting said he was posting here because he couldn't post to "posts very much in character" (presumably because he's banned?), which made me think that he could've posted to "ILEpitaphs," since it's basically the same thread.

are any of the 'posts very much in character' thread quotes ever complimentary?

That's why I said Isn't the Noise Board just the Noise Board version of ILE?

typical adam

Well, I agree with Adam.

"Why shouldn't we feel sorry for them?

-- St3ve Go1db3rg, Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:48 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

-- Hurting 2, Thursday, July 26, 2007 10:59 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link"

ware is this from?

I think this quote is complimentary:

last night i was in malibu on the beach listening to jack and it was awesome. roxy music into heart.

-- chaki, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 1:36 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

-- Tim Ellison, Monday, July 16, 2007 10:40 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

This, too:

last night i was in malibu on the beach listening to jack and it was awesome. roxy music into heart.

-- chaki, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 1:36 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

-- Tim Ellison, Monday, July 16, 2007 10:40 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/no_pork_on_my_fork/

-- Heave Ho, Tuesday, July 17, 2007 12:19 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

boys love it when a cool breeze hits their balls and contracts th flesh into a tight little pink walnut pouch they can squeeze
-- dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Monday, April 17, 2006 2:24 PM (1 year ago)

-- gershy, Thursday, July 19, 2007 1:59 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

Sorry, I meant to just post the dan bunnybrain one.

(And the Chaki one.)

ilepitaphs are rarely complimentary

i didn't mean to imply anything, i was genuinely unsure.

oh it's too late now. You've really gone and done it.

so noise board is not actually ile

It's from here:

Jeffrey Lewis - Williamsburg Will Oldham Horror

And no, I didn't think the "very much in character" posts were supposed to be complementary, and neither was this.

or not not ile
xpost

And I forgot about the ILEpitaphs thread.

UNCLE CURT'S FUN FACT OF THE DAY: Jeffrey Lewis is also the name of the first man to stick a camera up my rectum

-- Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 27 July 2007 02:48 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Hahah oh god.

Who's the first man to take it out again, if any?

You think he's been walking around with a camera in his arse all this time then?! ;D

Since he doesn't mention anyone taking it out, I don't know :-/

You know, a timelapse prolapse camera.

the only comment i can recall receiving, in my 5-6 years frequenting the same record stores in austin texas, goes like this...

scene: cheapo records
date: 2004
record bought: air, 'talkie walkie'

myself: *sets talkie walkie onto counter*

clerk: "oh wow, i didn't think you had good taste in music, but this record is great..."

-- stephen, Thursday, July 26, 2007 9:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

that record sucks btw

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, July 26, 2007 9:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

who's the tudey record store clerk now

-- s1ocki, Thursday, July 26, 2007 9:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Who's Big Black, is he a rapper?

-- Tuomas, Friday, 27 July 2007 11:47 (1 hour ago) Link

This game is becoming too easy to play.

yeah it's shooting finns in a barrel at this point

LOLOLOLOLOL oh my god that one is yoga flame though.

That was supposed to be a joke. Well, I guess it made someone laugh.

I mean, I did realize the black guy in the pictures wasn't probably the band the original poster was asking about.

It was a good joke then, Tuomas!

Don't encourage yourself, T.

Wha...? I wasn't trying to be contentious or anything. I like the Noise Board and most of its denizens and didn't think it was controversial to point out that there are threads on the Noise Board that have equivalents on ILE/ILM. The "what are you listening to?" thread is another one. The point of me bringing it up at all was that Hurting said he was posting here because he couldn't post to "posts very much in character" (presumably because he's banned?), which made me think that he could've posted to "ILEpitaphs," since it's basically the same thread.

-- jaymc, Thursday, 26 July 2007 22:18 (Yesterday)

okkkk jaymc is officially (tediously) batshit

in a post dated thursday, july 26th

am0n, and what: written off

"ILEpitaphs" requires much more concise posts than "posts very much in character"; there are posts that might belong in one but not the other.

It's gotten extra-snippy around here lately.

Yeah, give or take 5 years.

ban hurting

lol =)

it is the season of snippiness
this bitchy heat

Haha, I are already banned.

I'm "batshit"? Haha, OK.

ew

The whole "written-off" thing kind of bothers me, though, because the point is that I *don't* usually write people off, that's not really my style -- but the one time I do choose to do it, thinking it's ultimately healthier for me, I get mocked for it. Whatever, it's the Noise Board.

I have never ever taken "written off" seriously

you're going to get mocked for it because it's a totally bizarre thing to say, especially about someone you know from the internet!

i mean ppl make fun of lines like "i know it was you, fredo" all the time, chin up little buckaroo.

chin up little buckaroo

TS: ^^^ vs "shtoo shtoo, my little babushka"

i mean ppl make fun of lines like "i know it was you, fredo" all the time, chin up little buckaroo.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, July 27, 2007 2:48 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this is funny even out of context, to me.

Hmmm, OK. I guess I was made to feel like the act of writing-off itself was beyond the pale somehow ("who the fuck writes people off?"), which made me feel like it was a no-win situation. But you're right, maybe it was just the way I phrased it.

Isn't "dewey, cheatem and lol" just the Noise Board version of Excelsior?

Yeah, except people tend to link to stuff from outside ILX more.

And it's funny.

wait wait... isn't the noise board just a microcosm of the larger ilx zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

not really there's only about 2 britishers. actually in % terms that might work.

Q: "Where do you live?"

A: "I live in Noize Board nation."

Q: "Will you tell the court and the jury where it is?

A: "Yes, it is a nation of alienated young people. We carry it around with us as a state of mind, in the same way the Sioux Indians carry the Sioux nation with them...."

finally - a lol!

instead of wrting off it should be known at striking through and when you do it you do it like so:

Hmmm, OK. I guess I was made to feel like the act of writing-off itself was beyond the pale somehow ("who the fuck writes people off?"), which made me feel like it was a no-win situation. But you're right, maybe it was just the way I phrased it.

-- jaymc, Friday, July 27, 2007 10:53 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

and then you say like UR STRAKEDTHROUGHED TO ME NOW IT IS OVER FOREVER AND EVER

Consider yourself italicized.

Another time, around the time of the Lewinsky case, I told my mom & dad my brother (two years younger than me) had a huge thing for Monica Lewinsky. I'd placed a whole bunch of pictures of her in his underwear drawer and showed my parents. They lectured him about having no self-respect and hinted he shouldn't be masturbating to photos of anyone, but her in particular.
-- Abbott, Friday, July 27, 2007 6:14 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

whatever that boy's gonna be president one day.

who, surmounter?

no abbott's brother. no homo in da white house.

Wha...? I wasn't trying to be contentious or anything. I like the Noise Board and most of its denizens and didn't think it was controversial to point out that there are threads on the Noise Board that have equivalents on ILE/ILM. The "what are you listening to?" thread is another one. The point of me bringing it up at all was that Hurting said he was posting here because he couldn't post to "posts very much in character" (presumably because he's banned?), which made me think that he could've posted to "ILEpitaphs," since it's basically the same thread.

-- jaymc, Thursday, 26 July 2007 22:18 (Yesterday)

Dude, you're not getting all ian reise on us, are you?

You're talking to amon, right?

crickets.wav

Shakey i envision you just now sitting in your underpants, blasting "Down by the River" as you watch Rachel Ray.

-- sanskrit, Tuesday, July 24, 2007 1:00 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

Haha, you're right, jaymc.

And to all you Britishes out there, I want you to make a mental note that all of my posts should follow the mm/dd/yyyy format with a 12 hour clock.

To be fair, the Yoda do-or-do-not quote is less stupid in a universe filled with an omnipresent magical Force.

Like if you tried to zing Yoda by throwing him off a cliff and going "fine, then, FLY or DON'T FLY," there's every chance he would indeed fly back up and kicked your ass would be.

-- nabisco, Saturday, 28 July 2007 10:23 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you cannot have children am i correct? i seem to recall reading this and being like well those are some brain cells i will never reclaim, that will be used to contain this tmi.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 27 July 2007 20:28 (Yesterday) Link

Im sorry i dont understand what you mean by it fucks up the whole brotherhood angle?

-- IrishMason, Thursday, 26 July 2007 22:44 (0 seconds ago) Link

it means you can't give a blow job to a chick

-- Mr. Que, Thursday, 26 July 2007 22:46 (2 days ago) Link

http://planethiltron.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/guy-and-madonna-hiltron.jpg

wdyll

wtf

That picture is so awesome. I'm going to show it to my wife someday, but I have to wait until she's in just the right frame of mind.

-- Rock Hardy, Sunday, July 29, 2007 1:13 AM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

When you do, if you need a place to stay, I'm sure there are many motels with reasonable weekly rates.

-- John Justen, Sunday, July 29, 2007 1:32 AM (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://img39.picoodle.com/img/img39/9/7/28/f_templeoflovm_173c663.jpg
-- I DIED, Sunday, July 29, 2007 2:00 AM (7 minutes ago)

the DOD covered up the circumstances of a soldier's death? Well fuck my turkey bacon with a nine-iron.

-- El Tomboto, Friday, July 27, 2007 11:10 AM (Friday, July 27, 2007 11:10 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i have no idea how to do that :-/

-- river wolf, Friday, July 27, 2007 11:10 AM (Friday, July 27, 2007 11:10 AM) Bookmark Link

really, even i realise how hilarious the following is!

-

andi OTM x1000 as usual

-- Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, July 29, 2007 6:23 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

this old guy followed me around the dining hall because I was wearing an Echo & the Bunnymen t-shirt

-- Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 30 July 2007 06:53 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Sorry about that.

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 July 2007 06:54 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

HA ha aahHAA!

Should I post this on Facebook and tag every vagina as a different friend of mine?

-- Matt DC, Sunday, July 29, 2007 4:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

that would be immortal

During a discussion about Mythbusters:

There should be more of those metal tags at the end of myths, so in addition to "Busted" or "Confirmed" there could be one for "Idiotic"

-- kenan

Everyone is in fine form on that thread. Also, Nabisco is in comic mode, a rare treat. I should just post the link.

eek SHARK WEEK shark week SHARK WEEK shark week SHARK WEEK shark week SHARK WEEK shark week SHARK WEEK shark w

When I view this my name hovers dangerously near that dear cat's bum-hole.

-- Lara (Lara), Monday, August 4, 2003 3:15 PM (Monday, August 4, 2003 3:15 PM) Bookmark Link

That picture's making me sad. Sharks may have to be killed sometimes but they should never be deflated.

-- Jon Lewis, Monday, July 30, 2007 11:40 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Y is my last name. Hanle is my Middle Name. "THe Power of love is a curious thing"
-- Mike Hanle y, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (6 years ago) Link

Another blast-from-past:

---

Here's some more cluttered nonsense from my disturbed mind...

I suspect the problems in discourse between the cynically-happy dancing popsters and the intensely-brooding guitar-wank encrusted 'rockists' has nothing to with race, gender or even 'social class'. Or even between 'heart' and 'mind.' Its between the need to communicate and the desire for communion.
And, sure, at first, these may sound like the same thing...but the difference between the two is subtle but very very important. One is the individuals need to stand up, stand out and make themselves understood. The other is the urge to belong to a tribe or (even better) a hive mind. The Rockists find the new electronic pop to be 'soul-less' and vapid; The new electronica popsters think Rock is stale and derivative. The Rockist old guard see the new popsters as spoiled, selfish, shallow infants with no grasp of their responsibility to society. The Popists sees the old Rockists are fascistic and obsolete priests preaching the litany of a dying religion.
This rankles the Rockists: the idea that they are now the Establishment...that in the end they became their parents. Nothing is more disgusting to a rocker than the idea that his quest for Indivuality was actually a pompous conceit; that all his attempts to change the world for the better just ended up adding more preachy whining and more boring "miserablism" to the world. To the popsters, Rock is a song sung by an idiot, full of sound and fury, but signifying nothing.
And although the popists can be just as annoying with their obnoxious glorification of superficiality, disposability and consumerism...they do have, I fear, a valid point. A bad rockstar displays a smug self-involvement, a overly high opinion of themselves and an inevitable taint of hypocrisy.
So, you see, there is bad blood. And the bad blood is justified by the personality flaws of the performers. But this anmosity also interferes with the creation of truly worthy music. And thus, it must be solved or mitigated. But how?
First of all, you have to abandon the idea that the disagreements between a "message oriented" musical act and a "vibe oriented" musicial act all boils down to race, gender or social class. This is not the case. It's between those who value Individuality as the Appolonian Peak of Perfection...and those who feel that Ego is the root of all strife, and a Dionysian merger of all souls is the highest good.
The functions of music must be reassessed. To the rock star: its a means of conveying thoughts an emotions. And if this makes people PAY ATTENTION TO YOU, thats just dandy. To the new generation of electronica popstars: music is a tool for breaking down barriers between individuals and creating a free-flowing concensus.

-- Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Thursday, October 10, 2002 12:56 PM

custos exactly who have you refuted with that first statement? because i'm reading 'cheese is in fact not a metal alloy'.

-- marek, Thursday, October 10, 2002 2:13 PM (4 years ago)

every i check my voicemail, it's "you have... 2... messages... whose retention time is about to expire... you have 2... new messages."

ARGH!

worse is the people who leave u messages twice as painstaking as that. "HI, it's laura, i'm just - [dog name], NO! - sorry. i'm just... calling to say hi, um, i haven't talked to you in a while - [DOG NAME]! - um, i hope you're good, i wanna see you soon..."

-- Surmounter, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 3:44 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

those googlin' dogs

-- gff, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 3:48 PM (3 hours ago)

"those googlin' dogs" is going to end up as one of those phrases I muter to myself intermittently and then laugh out loud lolsss.

i'm starting to get really irritated with cute pet pictures with "funny" captions underneath. LEARN TO SPELL YOU STUPID FUCKING ANIMALS!

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 4:41 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

(haha at first i was like welcoem to the internet and then i read the second sentence and laughed. it is almost like a dad joke :D )

First one to get wallogina guitar can be the new mod for IMM.

-- John Justen, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:00 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

(re Peavey ad for customizable guitar designs)

Slightly edited:

---

Greetings,

Our apartment building has been a veritable revolving door over the past few months (thanks in part due to the excessively permissive flexible leasing system instituted by our notoriously spaced-out landlord) and our apartment has been no exception. Our current roommate, a nice beefy self-proclaimed hillbilly from the Twin Cities and a die-hard Cubs fan to boot (which naturally fueled malicious little one-liners from my former naturalized Southsider tendencies) is moving in with his long-standing girlfriend (who, mercifully, is a die-hard White Sox fan) following the dictates of Cupid which thankfully won over a frankly trivial raging century-old intra-city rivalry.

Of course, considering the fact that White Sox won the big one in 2005 while the Cubs have been . . . .

Never mind. Cubs fans know the facts very well while Sox fans would have used arguments along similar lines several, several times in the past, particularly in the wake of the Sox' misfortunes this season.

(Hmm. This is worrisome. I'm a Southsider purely by academic vocation only and don't really know baseball that well. Yet I talk the talk. I'll confess to not being wholly capable of walking the walk)

However, back to the main intentions of this post. The apartment is a spacious unit with three bedrooms, a basement, two bathrooms, a large backyard, a large kitchen and a living room area. The apartment is situated around 5 blocks away from the Six Corners and is on North Avenue.

The dramatis personae who currently inhabit this financially serendipitous piece of real estate are currently three in number.

One is a nice little 24-year-old blonde girl from Iowa who used to attend Columbia College and now intends to pursue academic interests in forensics (which I shall maintain to my dying day is the result of too much CSI). She has a big scaredy-cat of a dog who is probably one of the frendliest mutts for blocks around. Nobody who has crossed this threshold (save the landlord, strangely enough) has ever been greeted by anything other than a vigorous wag of the tail and a friendly "smile" on his face, as the little blonde girl puts it. Do not mess with the little blonde girl. She might be tiny and almost always alternate between sleepy and sweet. But, be warned, she listens to Rancid and Drop Kick Murphys, is tattooed (well, ONE tattoo) and will mess you up in extremely diabolical ways if you feel the need to be a jerkwad.

The second character is the aforementioned dog. He's neutered and he knows it. He will also fetch you one of his toys (once he gets to know you better), hold it tantalizingly just beyond your grasp and then run at top-speed into the little blonde girl's room where he shall energetically chew it every time he espies you after this baiting incident. You have been warned. DO NOT FALL PREY TO HIS TEMPTATIONS. BRING YOUR OWN TOYS TO CHEW ON.

The third character (and almost certianly the most minor in the roll) is a 23-year-old boy from a magical land far, far away. He's an aspiring economist, a wannabe investment banker, a graduate student at a smarty-pantsy university in town and purveyor of all good things literary, culinary, cinematic and musical. He's a vegetarian, usually smarter than a doorknob, frequently complimented by mothers of winsome young lasses to be a good-looking boy, easy-going enough to be a pushover without being a punching bag and is currently struggling with a newfound discovery that he has inexplicably and unprecedentedly become very, very shy around girls. He has no explanations or deductions about this. Applications for, ahem, things OTHER than the room in the apartment will be gladly accepted and be duly processed expeditiously by the boy. Since he's single, he will PERSONALLY give you big, BIG bonus points if the prospective applicant has hot, fun-loving and flexible FEMALE friends. His mannerisms are often British (though he's not), smart and world-wise and will insist that certain words must necessarily be written a certain way, Microsoft Word US Edition be damned.

This boy is currently the writer of this post.

Still with us? Good. Well, qualifications for prospective applicants are:

1. Pretty please with a cherry on top be in our age range (which would approximately be around 20 - 26 years of age in human years). This means that people who whistle and wittle twigs into fanciful representations of Lyndon B. Johnson as they "remember" him or people who need fake IDs to get into bars and clubs and still have the smell of high school lockers on them would be politely spoken to and firmly refused any further consideration.

2. Pretty please be clean, hygenically repronsible, a frequent washer of one's own plates and cutlery, financially responsible and suitably well-rounded and tolerant. We occasionally watch soap operas for the hot chicks (well, the boy does) but we would prefer it if we don't end up in one with a significantly less attractive and less wealthy cast of characters (once again, this is all from the boy).

3. It is generally preferable if you are the owner of a bed for your room (and a big point in your favour if you are the owner of a television and a stereo, adds the boy, so that he can play acid jazz and soothing lounge music on the stereo and watch fanciful foreign films with bad subtitles on the other).

4. The little blonde girl has said that she will be more open to female roommates than she was before. So, the little blonde girl has one bonus point for you if you're a non-bitchy female. The boy is unconcerned about the gender of the applicant as long as the applicant has hot, fun-loving and flexible FEMALE friends.

5. Bonus points if you're a student and are still financially stable. Double bonus points if you know and appreciate the arts, cinema and music in particular. Triple bonus points if you have a sense of humour.

This advertisement is being published a WHOLE MONTH IN ADVANCE (the place will be available by September 2007) because the last time we ran an advertisement on Craigslist, we were swamped by over a hundred applications, which we assume would be due to:

a. The conducive location of the apartment. The apartment is in one of the nicer neighborhoods in the city peopled by many interesting people and is strategically located close to grocery stores, convenience stores, Blue Line stations and bus stops.

b. The ridiculous cheapness of the place (considering the neighborhood) without the inhabitants being similarly so. The landlord of the place is accomodating, friendly, slightly mad and very flexible with the lease. A security deposit of $400 would be required and all utilities will be shared.

However, unlike last time, no telephone numbers would be provided here for you to call. A correspondence with detailed information about the applicant is deemed absolutely necessary (please take note of the amount of detail WE are providing you about us. Appreciate that and reciprocate. This would be one basic quality we are looking for in our prospective roommate), appointments will be booked (and hopefully maintained), viewings will be scheduled and finally, a telephone number will be provided just so that you don't get lost while looking for the place.

A decision will be made in consultation with the landlord (WHO WILL NOT BE MEETING YOU) and you shall be informed via email about the decision. If you're selected, you will receive information as to whether you could move in any time earlier than September (which is entirely possible, thanks to the urgency that Cupid inspires in young people) and any other relevant updates that you should know.

Peace out, ladies and laddies.

-- A B C, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 7:09 PM (2 hours ago)

i'm probably still gonna email them

-- A B C, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 7:09 PM (2 hours ago)

enjoy living with ian riese-moraine.

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, July 31, 2007 9:12 PM (1 minute ago)

I am also having douchebaggy troubles with getting my stolen album to play. Won't import into iTunes, Windows Media Player won't have it, can't even import it into Audacity.

Any suggestions, anyone?

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 22:26 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yes. stop calling yourself 'BIG HOOS'.

-- ^@^, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 22:33 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

i love music why because it look intersting

-- StanM, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 22:29 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Big Hoos reminds me of Big Suze (Peep Show) so I suppose I like it.

I am a HOOS sympathizer

wait, what is that "why because it look intersting" from originally? i ttly forgot

Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email

True/False

I can't cope with jaggy legs and a bushy flange for more than a few days at a time unfortunately.

-- *rumpie*, Thursday, August 2, 2007 7:16 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

bushy flange
!!!!!!!!

I'm thinking of getting laser removal. Is that anti-feminist?

-- Ms Misery, Thursday, August 2, 2007 7:17 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

You're getting your flange removed? I'm no doctor, but I think you need it.

-- accentmonkey, Thursday, August 2, 2007 7:18 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

nah, it's like an appendix really.

-- Ms Misery, Thursday, August 2, 2007 7:24 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

where is dr morbius?

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, July 30, 2007 10:45 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

he went to a convention for baseball statisticians (not a joke).

-- Steve Shasta, Monday, July 30, 2007 2:19 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

RONG (maybe 5-10% of the attendees were statisticians)

-- Dr Morbius, Thursday, August 2, 2007 11:32 AM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Brilliant.

My friend wore a Stryper t-shirt (a red one, no less) to see the Sisters of Mercy in 2000. I believe he also wore madras shorts with it. Heroic!

-- Alex in NYC, Thursday, August 2, 2007 10:05 AM

isn't that Andrew Eldritch's standard wardrobe these days anyway???

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, August 2, 2007 10:10 AM

only instead of Stryper it would be Georges Sorel

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, August 2, 2007 10:11 AM

My favourite bit is: “I do think it would be an incredible experiment to shut down the whole internet for five years and see what sort of art is produced over that span"

-- Ismael Klata, Thursday, 2 August 2007 17:08 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the alternate internet

-- sexyDancer, Thursday, 2 August 2007 17:09 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

My dad always talked about not letting other people touch my private parts as a kid, but it was never explained to me WHAT "private parts" meant. I thought it had something to do with Inspector Gadget.

(I've figured out its meaning in the past 20 years, don't worry.)

-- Abbott, Thursday, August 2, 2007 7:06 PM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

hahaha!

LOL!

I hope not in that way tho.

I had one of those awesome Inspector Gadget dolls as a kid but he was like Ken under there.

http://i13.ebayimg.com/07/i/000/ag/1c/5478_1.JPG

http://www.lva.lib.va.us/whatwedo/archweek/2004/images/GMU/marac_gmu5.jpg
-- Super Cub, Friday, August 3, 2007 2:19 AM

Did he have a lane in the White House like King Ralph?

I know, man -- my neighborhood is full of these Puerto Rican hipsters acting like they like reggaeton, but if you looked on their iPods it'd be all Billy Bragg and Barry Manilow.

-- nabisco, Thursday, 2 August 2007 18:27 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I give him credit because I know he MEANS to be nice and he has fairly decent taste, but the fact is he's like this little D&D nerd peckerhead who hung out with the ugly art-chicks in 9th grade in my particlar school (he reminds me of a douche named David Blauvelt, to be honest, who sharpened his gayass nails and actually said "mraowr" in a cat-gay-way. Ned's an elitist coward, really. He doesn't take much of a stand anywhere because he relies on his buds to help him take that stand publicly. Why? He's a puss, that's why. I'd love to see him stand up for his witty opinions in real life. Dude, I know a few dozen jocks who would kick his fucking ass for reading the almanac. Seriously, it's gay. And I'm a buddhist, ffs. And a hippy. And I like Phish. He's just an elistist little cunt stuck in 1992.

-- dean ge, Thursday, August 2, 2007 10:18 PM

dean "amero" ge ladies and gentlemen

holy shit are you all gay????????

-- dean ge, Friday, August 3, 2007 2:49 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

well at least I am!! can I see your penis?

-- Stevie D, Friday, August 3, 2007 2:50 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

PROBABLY NOT :)

-- John Justen, Friday, August 3, 2007 2:52 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"there was a memo about this in the daily office mail the other day"

why does this reply seem to always pop up in my threads? i dont read the mail.

-- titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 3 August 2007 00:37

he's right

You do know who Nude Spock is, right?

-- Matt DC, Friday, August 3, 2007 11:06 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I've missed a bit of this what with being offline and stuff. It appears that Dom got bit too obnoxious of late, certainly I'd noticed that he seemed to be stepping it up a bit, and obviously I wasn't the only one.

I think Dom is/has been an excellent contributor to the boards, especially ILM, I enjoy reading a lot of his threads, and I think his take on UK music media is a good & valuable one. Obviously though, I think there is a level of snark above which it's _not_ cool to go. If you're going to come out with something online that IRL would likely get you smacked in the fucking mouth, then it's best not to go there. (this is unbelievably banal, I know, but it's true!)

Anyway, A Petridis, feel the ph34r, because Dom is now unbanned. Dom, please cool it a bit in future, eh.

-- Pashmina, Friday, August 3, 2007 8:39 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Ban L0u1s J@gger

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, August 3, 2007 8:42 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I got sonned, quoting Nude Spock on this thread :(

L0u1s J@gger

sorry, just haven't tried it yet

as far as tits go, bigger is better. my gf has two round robust milky white 38Ds, with dark brown nipples that spread 3 in across her beautiful tit flesh. i've been with lesser woman and have not had similar pleasure, especially the ones that are all nipple. my cock too is a thing to behold. my gf measured it at 8.5 in of dark brown veiny mexican cock. uncut, of course. it took her about 2 yrs to be able to swallow it all. but she perfected the art of deep throating my shlong. i've seen other guys at the urinals and they see me. i'm blessed with a flaccid cock measuring almost 7 inches. most guys have little peepees peeking out of their flies. i have a snake. thank u very much!

-- stephen garza, Friday, January 10, 2003 4:50 PM (Friday, January 10, 2003 4:50 PM) Bookmark Link

but in my dream i care for it

lolololol

::spew::

do i want to know the context?

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BEHOLD MY FUCK-WANT

i've seen other guys at the urinals and they see me.

I'm assuming Dan just cut out the part about the glory holes.

most guys have little peepees peeking out of their flies

she perfected the art of deep throating my shlong

there is no phrase-subset in that post that isn't awesome

HA HA I AM NUDE SPOCK; NED RAGGETT IS GAY AND STEVIE D IS GAY AND JOHN JUSTEN IS GAY AND I AM GAY AND EVERYTHING IS A BIG FAGGOT

-- HI DERE, Friday, August 3, 2007 3:56 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

...and we are all together.

"EVERYTHING IS A BIG FAGGOT" should be my new myspace tagline

And I'm a buddhist, ffs. And a hippy. And I like Phish.

;_;
;
;

IT SHOULD BE YR NEW CREDO XP

"EVERYTHING IS A BIG FAGGOT" should be my new myspace tagline

We REALLY REALLY need changeable screen names back. I don't care what it takes, or even if it's not possible, but we need it anyway.

OTM it is a beautiful and special thing

as soon as we have changeable screen names mine will be "i dont feel tardy"

rock tardy

I'm thinking about going with Rough Guide to Smooth Jazz

OK get this: on ILM I said something like 'My Bloody Valentine were one of the great British novelty acts, along with Stump and Splodgenessabounds'. I was kind of hoping people would play along, you know, and maybe say stuff like 'MBV were not as great a novelty act as The Beatles' or whatever. You know, idiot silly fun. Instead, one guy says 'you cannot be serious' and another guy says 'actually, Stump were Irish'.

-- moley, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 21:29 (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

from vaginas are not clown cars , thread about a family of 19.

lot of player hatin' on this thread

-- da croupier, Friday, August 3, 2007 10:52 PM

hoos, you don't understand anything, stop posting and go away.

OK get this: on ILM I said something like 'My Bloody Valentine were one of the great British novelty acts, along with Stump and Splodgenessabounds'. I was kind of hoping people would play along, you know, and maybe say stuff like 'MBV were not as great a novelty act as The Beatles' or whatever. You know, idiot silly fun. Instead, one guy says 'you cannot be serious' and another guy says 'actually, Stump were Irish'.

exactly.

Whoas kenan, whaaaa?

I just meant that that thing I quoted was totally mental. So, exactly.

Nonono, re: the Hoos. Whaaaa?

also, hoos is nuts, so, exactly.

It was so grouchy. My monocle about fell off my face in startlementness!

sorry, you're going to have to be specific about the HOOS thing I said was nuts and then walked away from and never thought about again. I've done that at least five times... maybe more!

My record is short. Others have ignored him many more times than I.

Aw man, it's cool, I feel I overstepped propriety by even calling you out on it. Back to my Lite Brite board.

url

this is not roffley anymore.

you're awesome, though, abbott. sorry.

Zwinky the movie would mos t likely be like attending some weird political/religious cult meeting, with orders barked out from the screen:

"GET ZWINKY!"
"DRESS YOUR ZWINKY"
"CREATE YOUR ZWINKY AVATAR!!"

etc.

"Second Life" the movie probably only a matter of time as well, screenings interrupted by loud screaming noises and thousands of marios bouncing up and down from the cinema ceiling.

-- Pashmina, Saturday, August 4, 2007 9:20 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

MAN I'm going to be laughing about that to myself all day, and then in the future whenever I see a Zwinky.

Also from the BRATZ movie thread:

Whoever did the casting for this is terrible. All those actresses have noses!

-- nabisco, Friday, August 3, 2007 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I am so, so proud to have been the guy who said "actually, Stump were Irish."

HOOS i knew we were fam

-- Wrinklepaws, Saturday, August 4, 2007 5:33 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

u_u

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, August 4, 2007 5:35 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Nabisco only 50% OTM for a change.

Michael White supporting Leeds United feels a bit like Noel Coward being really into bear baiting.

-- Mark C, Saturday, 4 August 2007 21:32 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

whoever said that is this it? is the best rock album of the decade is otm x like 67,000

-- Jordan Sargent, Saturday, August 4, 2007 7:26 PM

Not really. For starters, its about .0000093 times as good as Room On Fire.

-- I know, right?, Saturday, August 4, 2007 7:27 PM (6 minutes ago)

# Women who don't wear high heels unite!!! [Started by *rumpie*, last updated 1 second ago] 157 new answers
# Bridge collapse in Minneapolis [Started by John Justen, last updated 1 minute ago] 118 new answers

(sorry)

-- StanM, Thursday, August 2, 2007 9:02 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

You see, the thing is that when Wang is staying ON TOP of the ball, the ball sinks better, which is what he is, a sinker-baller. Which means he wants the ball TO SINK. But when his arm drops the ball stays UP...see? You see it John? His arm is DOWN and the ball is UP. He won't be AS EFECTIVE if his sinking ball DOES NOT SINK. Sinker-baller. Fuck my jacket's tight.

-- Dr. Gene Scott (shinybeast), Thursday, 6 October 2005 04:25 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

those people that give you the runaround when you ask your opinion, and then when you give yours are all "OMG TOTALLY, me too!!!!" and who just agree with you about everything

-- Stevie D, Monday, August 6, 2007 9:38 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Me too!

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, August 6, 2007 9:39 PM (54 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

anyway bonne nuit tous le monde, more tips tomorrow plz

-- mark s, Monday, 6 August 2007 23:56 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Tout le monde, tu veux dire. ;)

-- Michael White, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 01:48 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

http://a4.vox.com/6a00c2251d43d2604a00c2251f3e3c8fdb-320pi

-- Drooone, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 01:56 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Still laughing out loud at owls after all this time, whodathunkit.

Haha that is great! :D

snap: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/35/120303407_407b66badc_m.jpg

Excuse me, I wasn't listening.
SUV owners who don't know how to back out of a parking space. I'm trying to not be such a hater-of-my-sister-woman here, but face it, these are all women. I am way harsher on my own kind. Mainly because so many women think that they occupy some sort of moral high ground. Like if women ruled the world it would all be peace and love and massages in the menstrual hut.
Bitches.

-- Beth Parker, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 9:17 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

At least men KNOW that they are worthless pieces of shit.

-- Beth Parker, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 9:18 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

=)

xpost shit, i was just coming here to post that ;) i almost fell out of bed laughing at that one.

ok, so... people who live in the city but insist on having big-ass dogs. Stupid or so stupid they should be shot?

I hate these yuppie animal-abusing cocksuckers so much. You do not live in Lincoln Park and buy a Rottweiler, I don't care how sweet they are. Your sense of entitlement has become so overgrown that now you're abusing an animal without even realizing it.

Forget putting down the animal when it inevitably gets sick. Shoot the owner, give the dog to me. I know people who like dogs, at least. It'll live better than is it stays all day in your tiny-ass expensive-ass well-appointed apartment.

And also, fuck you.

-- kenan, Monday, August 6, 2007 10:14 PM (Yesterday)

this is so retarded its blowing my mind

-- sunny successor, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:49 AM (32 seconds ago)

[From the How Smart Are You thread]

Uhh:

ILX 2
You have already voted in this poll and cannot vote again.
Return to Front Page.

-- jergïns, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 00:36 (Wednesday, 8 August 2007 00:36) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you just keep clicking the button over and over again, you're probably in the bottom 10%

-- forksclovetofu, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 01:19 (Wednesday, 8 August 2007 01:19) Bookmark Link

being descended from Shem spares me the curse of Ham.

Oh, must you people always be so uppity about your diet?

-- Annie Country-club, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00

a big plus to liver is that when you eat it, you gain the urinary powers of your foe

-- Tracer Hand, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 3:49 PM

just coming here to post that.

liver is amazingly good for you also yes, I forgot that part.

AMAZINGLY good for you. some food scientists now believe that just a cube of liver is better for you than a long bracing walk (provided it's not up a sharp incline)

-- Ronan, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 4:12 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Prometheus: "Argh! Look you don't have to do this, why not go for a long bracing walk instead?"
eagle: "Tsk, do your research, pyrothief"

-- blueski, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 4:20 PM (1 minute ago)

do you think I could write for Family Guy?

why aim so low

bring it down from within

just steal one of the manatee balls

"This is worse than that time a scientific report claimed a cube of liver was better for you than a brisk walk."

har

HAhaha, oh man. Maybe it's just the liver, the liver is comedy gold?

"This is more awkward than watching Jamie-Lynn Spears split a burrito with a marmot with a meth problem."

hot

"This is just like that time nabisco was on the money"

Cut to scene of Nabisco typing "This is more awkward than watching Jamie-Lynn Spears split a burrito with a marmot with a meth problem."

family guy with ILX special-guesting would be new frontier in comedy

Anybody who believes Allen was the killer based on evidence presented in the movie is totally missing the film's central point.

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 8:03 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that you should just get out there and have a good time.

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 8:05 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the only one of me

nabisco's interjection has since spoilt a perfect thread, it should have been locked after mark s' second post

*third

Self-deprecating calls for your very own insulting to be preserved in the glass case of a locked thread do not actually make you any more likeable than you were a moment ago

it was a wistful sigh of protest, a passing fancy nothing stronger; the thread will probably benefit from extension in the long run. and mark's words weren't so much an insult as a re-affirmation of "hystercine"'s bizarre uniqueness. there's no need to be ratty, especially not on an excelsior thread. if i was solely concerned with making myself more likeable i wouldn't post two-thirds of the shit i do.

your words

DO YOU CALL ME A RAT, GOOD SIR???

a marmot with a meth problem

Hey, I can quit any time I want.

xpost: FORSOOTH, MY DEAR FELLOW!!! A MERE ADJECTIVAL DISCOURTESY WHICH I HENCEFORTH RETRACT.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/b/b2/Rattyandmole.jpg
Now, now, Ratty. Don’t upset yourself old chap

That does it. I'm off to find new ways around the google proofing of your name so I can slander you some more.

aw, guys

"L0u1s J@gger"

Louis Jagger

OK then.

http://newton-i.usefilm.com/images/4/9/9/8/4998/1279587-tn.jpg

roffle

Louis Jagger

That's a surprisingly easy work around.

http://dionysus.psych.wisc.edu/methods/DMDX/Instructions/ItemNumberParsing/fear_face.bmp

there's no need to be ratty, especially not on an excelsior thread.

lol n00b

oh the memories are now all flooding back! i was dropped off by my dad, with a girl who lived next to my godfather, to see flight of the navigator. i was 11. great film, but the girl called me "a sex maniac" for touching her hand!

-- CharlieNo4, Friday, 10 August 2007 04:13 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

with my cock, admittedly.

-- CharlieNo4, Friday, 10 August 2007 04:17 (12 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

from who would u fuk? thred:

you guys who are voting ILX System all realize you're just getting JW's sloppy seconds right

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, August 9, 2007 3:03 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Hahah Charlies one is awes.

Tombot one is absolutely brilliant

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e391/marthasminions/130-cats-3.jpg
^^^ i cannot stop uncontrollably laughing at the expression on these cats' faces.

they all look like the church lady off snl

Okay, the pants are off! I feel so liberated!

You know what would cool you off even more? Sitting in a giant dish of ice cream.

-- kenan, Friday, 10 August 2007 09:43 (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I know a guy who's so convinced that the dollar is right on the brink of taking a tremendous nose dive that with every paycheck he buys gold, both on paper and actual chunks of it that he puts in deposit boxes.

-- Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, November 8, 2004 5:33 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link
Of course he's a libertarian, so you know what that means.

-- Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, November 8, 2004 5:33 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link
He's melting down that gold to create a life sized monument to Ayn Rand?

-- latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, November 8, 2004 5:39 AM (2 years ago)

who would u fuk for breakfast, and where?

-- bell_labs, Friday, August 10, 2007 8:32 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I like the multiple interpretations available for "and where" in that sentence.

-- John Justen, Friday, August 10, 2007 8:35 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

FUCK YOU IN THE PANCAKE

-- Mr. Que, Friday, 10 August 2007 20:51 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you are all crepes

-- latebloomer is on fire, Friday, 10 August 2007 20:52 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

oh wait, that last one was in 2004. he's only smouldering, then.

QUE???? WAS????

If the brown labs were called "liver," as spaniels are, we'd be looking at different results. Especially if the black and yellow were called "licorice" and "vanilla."

-- Beth Parker, Friday, August 10, 2007 9:25 PM (33 seconds ago)

should have said "previous"

Nonono, I got that, it's the "he's only smouldering, then" what's got me so vexed.

Yeah, it looks like a post of yours went missing, Louis Jagger.

you are all crepes

-- latebloomer is on fire, Friday, 10 August 2007 20:52 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

-- Just got offed, Friday, 10 August 2007 21:59 (Friday, 10 August 2007 21:59) Bookmark Link

he typed out "is on fire" after latebloomer's name "latebloomer"

Aw, more fool me for not noticing in a world were we can't change usernames.

i'm pretty sure at one point i actually did use "latebloomer is on fire" when we were able to change screen names

that probably happened

shot through the heart
and you're to blame
you give fuk
a bad name

-- kenan, Saturday, 11 August 2007 01:04 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I came here to post the kenan thing that Heave Ho posted

Just because I talk about sex a lot doesn't make me some kind of Miyazaki-esque semen spirit.

-- kenan, Friday, August 10, 2007 11:08 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^_^

Sounds like someone has a case of the Zondays

-- Heave Ho, Saturday, August 11, 2007 6:57 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

The stare at the wall shower, that's a good one. I also like head in hands, tears mingling with the water.

-- ledge, Monday, August 13, 2007 10:09 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEAUTIFUL THREAD

-- kingfish, Saturday, August 11, 2007 4:13 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

We'll need another 9/11 to get it back on track.

-- StanM, Saturday, August 11, 2007 4:13 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

from "Bump this thread whenever another rightwing douchebag calls for "another 9/11" to "unite us" thread.

It's really probably not much worse than running a space heater for the same amount of time.

While new methods can be found to generate electricity there as yet been no progress in finding ways to create water.

-- Ms Misery, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 01:48 (15 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I'm pretty sure you just mix hydrogen and oxygen.

-- n/a, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 01:48 (15 hours ago) Bookmark Link

These busy trade floor pics look like posh Lightning Bolt gigs.

http://www.traderstools.com.au/pics/TRADING%20floor.jpg

-- onimo, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 11:16 (32 minutes ago)

From a thread titled "Your Shower Routine", completely out of the blue:

Yesterday I hung out with my friends She|la and 3ddie. We got drunk and hit 3 bars on Clark Street. We wound up at @tmosphere (not a google-proofing--that's how it is actually spelled) and Sheila became angry and they argued for about 15 minutes, then she stormed out and took the car so Eddie and I sat around and then had to walk home.

-- Jesse, Monday, August 13, 2007 4:10 PM (Monday, August 13, 2007 4:10 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And I had to do my relationship counseling.

-- Jesse, Monday, August 13, 2007 4:10 PM (Monday, August 13, 2007 4:10 PM) Bookmark Link

Men Are from Mars, Women Flush Toilets with Their Feet.

-- Eazy, Tuesday, August 14, 2007 4:56 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

I might have known. You can claim equal responsibility for the mighty moment on that Amnesiac thread, then.

In my defence, it was a college party where the theme was 'Bling'. How could I refuse? Moreover, how could I resist one of my peers requesting me to uncork my blingiest pose for a cheeky snap or two?

-- Just got offed, Tuesday, August 14, 2007 3:31 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Moreover, how could I resist one of my peers requesting me to uncork my blingiest pose for a cheeky snap or two?

This is not a sentence I thought I would ever read.

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, August 14, 2007 3:34 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

What the fuck.

ahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahaha

hahahahhahahahhahhahahha

ha

It's the "Cheeky snap or two" that makes it

speechless

meh

Only white people and older black people say 'bling' now. If a white person uses slang too early, then that makes them look like a wigger. But if black people use slang too late, then it makes them look like a wigger.

--kanye west

Kanye celebrated his 30th birthday at a New York nightclub in June, where he was presented with a huge cake incorrectly emblazoned with the name "Kayne".

"Hef nap"

did you know I once bumped into tuomas wanking down a mountain in spain

-- RJG, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 21:31 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yes we know, you called out 'are you finished?'

-- estela, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 21:33 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I <3 you estela.

Tuomas do you actually have friends around whom you'll quite happily sit and have a wank while they're watching the soaps or feeding their babies or w/e?

"Sorry, Jani, got a little in your baby's eye there."
"No problem Tuomas, happens all the time you fucking batshit mental crazy fucking nutjob."

-- onimo, Wednesday, August 15, 2007 5:47 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

...of my flange?

-- Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 16:24

from Anticipating Michel Gondry's Be Kind Rewind
edited for lolz

Gondry and I have a mutual friend... last time I talked to him he told me Be Kind Rewind has a brief scene built around this kitchen cleaning tool I gave him. I'm going to be really proud if my stainless-steel dish brush makes it onto the int'l screen as a symbol of modernity or whatever!

-- Jon Lewis, Wednesday, August 15, 2007 4:14 PM (10 minutes ago)

or as a light-saber

-- dmr, Wednesday, August 15, 2007 4:16 PM

Silence! Its your ass we need, not your yapping!

-- Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, October 9, 2001 8:00 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

^^^^ otm

lol WHERE THE TITTIES AT
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/160/337484088_a3582dab13.jpg

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 15 August 2007 19:53 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

9. Why does Kanye say "We Want Hen Fap" in 'Gold Digger'?

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, August 14, 2007 1:10 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

What song is that from?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, August 14, 2007 1:18 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

ah the line must be:

"We want Hen Fap in Gold Digger"

Seriously, sometimes you just need to log off and go to sleep before posting whatever comes to your mind.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, August 16, 2007 2:00 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Er, that wasn't meant to be funny.

deadpan

http://static.flickr.com/45/144555361_e974f610b5.jpg

Tuomas I know it wasn't meant to be funny, but I laughed out loud so it's going on the thread. Do you understand why?

To be honest, no.

deadpan.

I think I was laughing at how you yourself might sometimes benefit from taking your own advice :)

not so much HIS benefit

But I don't have a computer at home, so I don't post to ILX at night. Or do you want me to go to sleep at work?

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MG/196222~F-for-Fake-Posters.jpg

deadhorse.

It's A-Level results time again! You all know what that means, don't you?

http://img38.picoodle.com/img/img38/9/8/16/f_carm_a28b679.jpg
-- I DIED

YOW

wau

HOLY SHIT

BEST. JPEG. EVER.

plz to embed in Q&A

better than cats

Wherever did that first surface?

dan eyes radio and ned offers bird as flipping car explodes - COLD AS ICE

that is very funny

It's just amazing.

I like how Ned's hair is blowing in the wind, good attention to detail there. Dan actually IS flipping the dial on the radio, isn't he?

LOCK ILE. IT CAN AND WILL GET NO BETTER.

whatever happened to ikillyouwithguns.jpg

who is kenan's gf? he says she posts on ilx.

-- chaki, Thursday, August 16, 2007 3:07 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i think he means jaymc

-- strongohulkington, Thursday, August 16, 2007 3:13 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link