end threads quicker

political/race/whatever threads - everyone agrees that no concensus will be reached and that the thread will go on for like 4 weeks longer than necessary so they just abandon it there and then, to rapturous applause.

Car bomb drama - dirty bomb explodes in London soon afterwards killing 5 million

WDYLL - Andrew wears a shirt

WDYLL - Simon Weston joins the board.

end threads quicker - locked before someone loses an eye.

britpop threads - louis jagger strangled with own intestine before thread started

Chris Benoit RIP: Benoit runs in to the ring during Monday Night RAW before attacking the ECW Champion with a crippler crossface - it was all a hoax.

Pazz and Jop poll threads: Chuck Eddy dies in a car accident, January 13th 1985

BAN LOUIS JAGGER - jagger is banned. thread locked.

all threads: people just fucking install killfile on louis jagger and be done with it.

FAP threads - shitbag Calvinist government bans pubs altogether

Tipping thread - Merkins realise their system is completely confusing to everyone else

FAP thread: FAP organised efficiently

anticipate L O S T season x - nobody posts because there's no way in hell anybody knows what the fuck is going on, let alone what will happen in the future

Petridis Burn threads -- ILM music critic krew get real paid

Liverpool Won't Win The Premiership 2007-2008 - Manchester United and Chelsea team buses are involved in head-on collision injuring most of the squad for half the season.

Doctor Who 4 - the Ice Warriors are in the first episode

POLL: MALCOLM McDOWELL - A Clockwork Orange

list thread - topic extremely obscure

generic ilx thread - the Lex has heard of it/them

Americanisms that will never, ever cross over into the UK - there aren't any

generic ilx sex-related thread - Fake Tuomas admits who they are

watercooler - hosepipe ban

Zany polls about the best movie of minor actors - Napoleon offers the US no support during the War of Independance, America remains a British colony to this day

Is anyone actually watching "Hell's Kitchen" with any intensity? - No.

lolol

What did you have for breakfast? - SOYLENT GREEN

any thread after 2004 or so - hstencil angrily tells us it's already been done, & we're all nubs for not knowing. we cry ourselves to sleep.

Watercooler 28 - Kerr gets done by the BPI for his 'cookies'

WIMBLEDON 2007 - weather improves, over on time.

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/UnansweredQuestionsControllerServlet?boardid=40&offset=0

all ILM - i like this reckid. right you are. stop.

i dream about that

Recently on ilx dreams - g-kit dreams about threads ending quicker

Petridis Burn threads -- ILM music critic krew get real paid

I do get "real paid." Just not for writing about music.

The real answer to that conundrum is: Petridish resigns and takes up the post of regatta correspondent for the Galashiels & District Courier.

all Mod Request threads: Hitler won

Chris Benoit RIP: Benoit runs in to the ring during Monday Night RAW before attacking the ECW Champion with a crippler crossface - it was all a hoax.

I am not sure about this one.

ILx to bring in acclaimed Hitler biographer Ian Kershaw as expert adjudicator to confirm for sure that X and Y were how Nazi Germany started.

this thread: MPPPpA puts a stop to teh funnies

Watercooler threads - cure for period pains discovered

Crush threads - Match.com membership price reduced to 50p a year.

Try Glasgow More -- we just go to Mono

POLL: MALCOLM McDOWELL - A Clockwork Orange

How about... "no"? Is "no" good for you?

Not enough rapes in it for you?

WDYLL threads: only people who have actually significantly changed in appearance or not posted before post photos, thread content reduced by 97%.

what?

I SAID ACROBAT IS SHIT

lol i have never posted to wdyll lol

I honestly don't understand what I've done. Maybe I seem too enthusiastic, too verbose, too, oh FUCK IT I'm just being myself and if you lot can't deal with it then FUCK YOU ALL. I didn't come here to be abused by no-life webfreaks who can't stand it when someone shows a bit of genuine eloquence. I came here to talk about ending threads quicker and perhaps indulge in a bit of harmless banter, and the ill-feeling is entirely of your own creation.

yes you have

crosspost

BB 2007 - they all lez up

i have posted words.

yes you have

but not picures.

definitely not?

less handwringing more funnies

Excelsior threads - post funny things.

what does "handwringing" mean, g-kit?

you'd have to check, rjg.

about the pictures.

Keep Their Hands Ringin'

I joined Facebook purely to find out what quitney looks like. Not Reynoldsian enough by half, frankly.

FUCK IT I'm just being myself

This makes me really happy. You know why? Because someone finally took on the ILX aristocracy.

omg fuck everybody.

end threads quicker - locked before someone loses an eye.

-- g-kit, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 12:43 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

MISSION FALED

lololololol

xpost

ban acrobat

What ILx aristocracy?

aristoCRAZY more like

Every thread from now on: Hstencil locks thread by saying "We've talked about this on 4th of september 2003."

x-post -- Pardon me while I get my ruffles and wig.

Hi ILX, this post is being communicated to your screens via a medium. acrobat cannot be with you today, because he is taking a break from posting until he can actually contribute usefully rather than gratuitously to ILX threads. He would just like to inform the good people of ILX that the absolute bullshit spouted about him by Messrs. Passantino and Mannion (and to a lesser extent Kenan, whose surname eludes him) not only constitutes an inaccuracy but a grotesque slur.

Paul Dacre appointed to confirm or deny that there was an article about this in the Daily Mail yesterday.

The ILX aristocracy, yesterday:

http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2007-07/30949316.jpg

As usual, I have no idea what just happened.

I was disappointed with what Quitney looked like as well. I was hoping he'd be black.

I'm uncomfortable with the notion of that one guy that quit having the final say (no offence intended blueski). If Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, or his equivalent, was to insult any other poster, my guess is he'd be banned pretty fucking quickly. Even if the poster on the receiving end of the insult said "let him stay". It's not just the guy being insulted that has a right to be offended.
Dunno, I think this sets a precedent here and we should maybe talk a bit more about it. I'm hugely, hugely uncomfortable with any situation in which someone uses this kind of insult on ILX and gets away with it.

The fact that Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman is an odious little shitbag who no one at all would miss if he were to suddenly disappear is neither here nor there.

when ilxors noone bothers to notice try to make a name, stake a claim pt. 119

yall jealous

It's Paul Pennyfeather all over again.

Acrobat Stats For Season
Name Acrobat
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

I am an Earl of ILX?

http://base58.com/ilx/appropriate.gif

acrobat is utter classic, but - and this may be a generational thing - if i've not heard of someone who has been namechecked, it usually compells me to go (in the first instance to wikipedia) to find out who s/he is. my ignorance of them doesn't make me immediately think that ignorance has been justified, and that might be what gets people's back up, on a board that's about the exultation (and otherwise) of people/things.

http://base58.com/ilx/appropriate.gif

lol at bearded fattey being referred to as "Ditto"

To me this sounds like the tactics of jaded Ilxors who don't want younger, perhaps slightly less informed posters dirtying their circle of ilx oldboys, music snobs, professional critics and bullies.

kenan and I seem to know a lot of the same stuff but argue about whether it's good or not. Daft Punk's Homework, LFO, Spaced - I dunno, I come across as the hater. Maybe there's something we both like? Or perhaps maybe there's something I like but kenan doesn't like?
We can do it in a football card trading way but instead of "Got, Got, Got, Haven't Got" it can be like: "Like, Like, Like, Don't Like".

kenan do you like:

Tom Waits
Gabba
Pubs
Cleaning out the inside of your computer mouse when you're bored at work
Ken C
Black Metal
Etymology

Answer these and then give me your list.

what the fuck is this

i mean this in a general way
b/c true self-reflection/consciousness takes effort/struggle/isn't easy when living in this crazy world, whereas self-involvement is kinda built in to the ego drive and in that is deceptive

anyway ohman this thread. it is v hot here btw and maybe it is hot there as well and causing such issues.

I'm going away for a few days tomorrow but I expect to see this thread still on top of New Answers when I return on Monday.

Baron RJvonG 8080

wait this is really happening? i thought it was a farce. that "too verbose OH FUCK IT" thing was a quote from something else, isn't it?

bend threads quicker
send movies quicker
lend movies quicker
end threads thicker
HEN EGGS CHICK, er

*blushes* *stares at feet*
If you still want it I'll do it, Will M. Do you have the album and the ep or should I put some of that stuff on too?

(There is a LOT of it and there are problems recording some of the stuff in old formats but I'll try to edit it down.)

Actually can you play CD-Rs? I might finish it on tape, since I started it on tape, but the tape recorder is being weird (I'm off to get a new tape head cleaner and a shiny new cable today so I hope that'll fix it, though).

So while I'm at it, I may as well do something constructive with this thread by asking anyone who's had experience in freelancing what is the best way to go about it? Any help at all would be appreciated.

OK, here's the deal: between the ages of 6, when I was given a comprehensive and extremely readable field guide to the birds of Britain and Europe, and 12, when I discovered sport and music, I was an absolute birdwatching fanatic. Today I am going to France, and whilst digging around for books to take, I chanced across this same bird guide, tattered, bent, broken, but still largely intact after 14 years of ownership. I'm taking it with me. Might even drag some binoculars along too. God, I used to be a master. The merest flash of wing, and I'd be right onto the case, collecting evidence, identifying, and then joyfully ticking off any new discoveries onto the checklist handily supplied at the back of the book (I blame the existence of this checklist for about 75% of my musical nerdiness).

Anyone else into the old 'twitching'? Or are you all just too cool?

I presume that post is either 1) fake Blueski or 2) real Blueski playing his weird mind games with ILX (more likely)

Maybe blueski is a typical naive first year and is thinking he'll spend the next three years being fellated by Home Counties posh totty, accompanied by the dulcet tones of Gomez's Whipping Piccadilly?

GEE I HOPE YOUR ANGRY DISMISSALS MAKE IT TO THE APPROPRIATE NOIZE TRIBUTE THREADS GUYS

If I meet acrobat I'll kick her in the face for destroying ILX. The fucking bitch.

ohhh

end threads quicker: all the fucking losers shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my thread

you funny little men

You really are a vulgar, idiot cunt, ken c

Proof, as if it were needed, that he's no more annoying than the rest of you bastards. People haven't noticed him, or don't care. The only thing he's done wrong is be annoying to the kind of people who won't shut the fuck up about him. And get on the wrong side of Ned, which as we all know is not allowed because Ned is God and if he doesn't like you you might as well give up and go home.
Ken C OTM, give it a rest.

actually, as the result of the evening's doings I'm pretty pissed, and although it's been a great night I'm ruing my complete absence of decisive action re: the opposite sex, and am in fact very melancholy. Thus it is that I can properly address kenan's wholly unnecessary, patronising and abusive comeback. For a guy who works with students he sure does show scant respect towards them; perhaps, of course, this is as a result of his lifestyle, rather than as a despite of it, seeing as we're such universally despicable, selfish, naive creatures (this may be sarcasm) who deserve all the belittlement and discouragement they can get. However, not wishing to turn this into yet another acrobat bash (it's late, I'm drunk, and off to bed), but for heaven's sake, guys, how you can keep up this immature, petty bitching campaign when all I've done is occasionally use a grandiloquent turn of phrase (look, I've done it again) or made one too many lame attempt at humour (we all did, and in fact most of you still do) is beyond me. I'm finding it increasingly hard to post here (your aim, doubtless), and in fact with uni commitments increasing and with me discovering (as I always would) that I know far less than I thought about music, I'm probably gonna have to call it a day. Unless someone revives the Graham Poll thread, that is. I'll back when I can post something constructive and genuinely useful, be that next week or in five years (cue the snarky comments, oh yes, I can hear them al-fucking-ready). Back to you, though, kenan; you're showing levels of malice I'd never in a million years have expected of you, and a contempt for those who wish to learn of you and who in fact look (looked?) up to you is something you should be fucking ashamed of. In short, I'm pissed, I'm liking girls and then dismissing my chances with them (although these chances probably exist), I'm being fucking self-indulgent, if perhaps rightfully so, and I've finally realised that ILX just really isn't me. Not that it shouldn't be; everyone who's obsessed with music should be allowed to have their say here, and I'm undoubtedly that; I mean, I absolutely adore, adore, adore the stuff, but it seems that to be here you've gotta argue in a certain way, make jokes in a certain way, and display a certain amount of certainty, unless you want to be mercilessly mocked, ostracised and abused (and I have been abused, oh yes, I have, in some quite frankly disgusting, mindless and totally stupid manners, including insinuations about my political beliefs that are as untrue as they are hurtful), not to mention the fact that my character seems to have been invented from scratch by people who have no idea what sort of a person I really am and have based their assassination on a few nervous, tongue-in-cheek posts I submitted at the very start of my stint here. Let me repeat (in case you missed it) that I am at this moment pretty fucking bladdered, disappointed and alone, but it is only in this state that I can say what I mean to say: I appreciate that my attempts to make waves here have met only with unmitigated disaster (amidst the occasional victory, that 'stupid thigs relatives say' thread was always MY baby, so there), if only because I've accomplished the scriptiform equivalent of looking at someone funny. Perhaps I'm taking myself too seriously, perhaps I'm only falling in with the current trend, perhaps I need to talk to more Americans before trying to hold a messageboard conversation with them, perhaps this is the sacrosanct domain of the hardened music-critic only, perhaps everything I've ever said about anything is bullshit (this isn't true, despite what you're thinking), perhaps I just need to chill out. Perhaps I really am that annoying, in which case I shall stop writing now, hold my hand up in shame, and casually extend my middle finger. No longer feeling the shame. And I know someone's about to post saying 'OK, we really should ban him now', in which case I've probably earnt it. For being so annoying, duh. This will in any event be my final post in a while (barring the aforementioned Graham Poll, or maybe some other band I dig) (or a response to this that I just can't keep away from) (no, because that will lead to another fight) (and I really will get banned this time), and I genuinely wish you all well. You know your shit, you care about your shit, you love your shit.

i'm kinda surprised these many folx are defending kenan's 'kill all the muslims' plan! then again maybe not so surprised really.

aw, i always saw kenan as a project, someone who after careful nurturing we could eventually turn into a Proper Person.
oh well.

i can't believe this thread has gone to 107 answers!

Why is this thread not locked, though? It's basically people being horrible to each other, which is why I'm guessing poor Dan's thread was pre-emptively locked.

Michael, there's no point talking to you, you have some kind of bizarre desire to make everything shit. You're the least comprehensible person on this whole fuckinmg board.

end threads/board "You've been poxyfuled"

contraception C/D,S/D,POX : everyone is knocked up

Are we a University now?

In which case I am awarding myself tenure and the Chair of Chickenbearology. I shall sit in on kenan's seminars.

sorry if you react as bitchmade as this dude has to me & a couple other assholes hating his bullshit posts you deserve whatever you get - like oh no bullies! oh no its like high school! oh no theyre being MEAN! fuck off you spineless pieces of shit the list of folks who caught hell & didnt cry is long enough already, personally theres at least 10 ppl in this thread id ban before ed but you go to war with the mods you have

when i get back from france in 8 days i expect this thread to be back on-topic. sayonara, ilx

What now?

I liked birdwatching as a kid. I don't really object to it now, either.

? xpost (punctuation is a wonderful thing)

dude, wtf are you even talking about? why am i being dragged into this thread again?? someone please let me know! I have no idea wtf this birdwatching thing is you are talking about. you are weird dude. a creepy dude. you're always popping up on threads with like little nuggets of 'info' about various ILX people that you've gleaned from their posting. and that whole thing about spotting me at the michael mayer gig ... i dunno, weird. Yeah, I guess i snapped at you a couple times on maybe one or two threads .. but fuck it I snap at people all the time. And *everyone on ILX* snaps at other people *all the time*. so i really don't get this weird obsession you seem to have. Like, I really don't dig the fact that you've posted little snarky comments after things I post on ILM ... or follow me around and post links to ages old things I've posted elsewhere. Really fuckin creepy behavior dude. But basically i just ignore it, you know? And yeah, I don't know that we would really get along, primarily because your taste in birds fucking SUCKS! BIG TIME! stop being a frickin follower-boy ILX hiveminder and get one taste for chrissakes. try watching some birds hatched before the year 2000 once in a while. jesus.

This is just one of a number of spiteful partisan messages which, whilst purporting to congratulate that mong guy that's shit are in fact thinly veiled attacks on his integrity. The reason he is considered a friend to the acrobat people is that he reports the truth rather than US/Passantino propaganda.

Steve, I hope you spot a curlew and a yellowhammer.

haha louis jagger is a cunt

as is acrobat

This is total fucking dud, and i sincerely hope anyone who does this for fun as a grown man or woman gets beaten within an inch of their life as a resultr until they realize this

I just saw a goldfinch.

This thread is nuts

Simple answer to this, stop letting these people into the country.

Big Dave, CreWe

Recommended by 811 people

Well then why fucking bother asking the question?
That whole "don't give a fuck" attitude stinXoR. While lots of life's little joys require decisions made on a purely self-interested level, lots of them DON'T - they affect other people, directly or indirectly, and every time you put someone out through thoughtlessness (obviously I don't mean when you have a choice between something that'll impact equally on you and them - unless you're Jesus you'll more than likely look after number one) you are being a prize prick and you should be ashamed of yourself.

This is particularly relevant to those people who think life has treated them unfairly and rail against it without a thought for the consequences.

Matt - I didn't have a problem with your question - I have chosen to see it as a quantitative, disinterested query and not a dig at fat people. I just thought your first line was shit.

best I can do is a dead pigeon in the courtyard

I PLEASE REQUEST THAT YOU BAN KEN C UNDER THE NEW ILE RULES CURRENTLY BEING INIIATED, FOR MAKING COMMENTS TOWARDS ME THAT I FIND INSULTING AND DISTRESSING ON THE MODERATOR ANNOUNCEMENT: ILE to accept posts from registered users only THREAD. THANK YOU.

I don't think acrobat gets it. Kenan did not defeat us with bombs being dropped nightly on London so you have no chance, the British are far better than you.

If this was a response to the Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman knighthood then I suggest we knight him again. I have no time for people who expect us to bow down to their demands just because they don't like what we do. Its the same with the cartoons, using violence to make a point will never work and will just make us less likely to listen to you!

c&p this thread to other thread

You can't ban Ken c he is a Count and knight of the garter of ILX.

Admittedly, I can barely read this thread myself -- I'm just in stunned horror, as is my mother who absolutely worships Michael Hutchence.

don't know how you guys recall these

blueski, let me be clear about what I mean -- it wasn't a terrible thing to do but it was a stupid thing, and a bad way to make youe point about power imbalances. I do think you should apologize, but I also expect that your apology will be accepted and this will go away.
I also think ken c was full of crap on the yelling out of windows thread, for what it's worth, but he had nothing but words and you cheated in the argument by pulling a moderator switch. Fair's fair.

Eh?

xposts

Oh look, the same goldfinch

Ooooh, I'm SO scared! Please, Mr Moderator, pass some more draconian laws which limit our freedom.

I'm sick of being made to feel fearful by clowns who failed their "thread derailment 101" course.

During the calum blitz, when the danger was very real, the message wasn't one of fear and angst, but "Keep Calm and Carry On". I wish we had that message in today's phony war on terra.

Acrobat, do you walk round with "VICTIM" tattooed on your forehead or not?

kenan is a twat

blueski is a dick

Can somebody please PLEASE tell me where I can get one of those T- Shirts with the moveable velcro letters, like fridge magnets?
I really wanted I HATE THE KEN C today (obviously if anyone got offended I could say it's a typo and meant to say HEART, (thankyou ILE Department If Slang And Nonsense))

I do seriously want one actually, even if it does slowly turn me into Dom Passantino/RJG Lite. Somebody must know.

this was posted to the wrong thread.. in case you missed it

Okay, some of what I'm about to type may seem odd, but I've been noticing it for a while. I'd be sitting there and suddenly, "there it is... wait, what is it?" Okay, it took me a while to identify it, but it has always been a feeling of... angst, I guess?
The lights and flash of award shows, action scenes in movies, watching bands play live, going on scary amusement park rides, getting a brand new computer, getting drunk with a bunch of old friends-- all these things leave me cold, with a placemarker in my heart and mind that says "insert fun/excitement emotion here".

Oh, I still like sex, don't get me wrong. That's almost biologically inescapable, but nowhere near like when I was a kid. In fact, a lot of times, I'll watch porn for a while and find I am daydreaming about work or things to do (as opposed to the other way around) or I'll think about sex for a good half hour prior to actually engaging in it and can't seem to excite myself into it all that much. It's not that I need viagra or something. I can still do it, I just don't care that much about it until I'm already midway into it or something.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that I've got problems. Who's with me?

-- That one guy that quit, Wednesday, July 4, 2007 3:06 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

from the heart ;_;

WAO

W
T
F
this thread?

I must admit, ken c, the way people get all heated and bad-tempered about stuff here sometimes, and the way ppl dogpile on this or that poster really gets me down. I guess a lot of ppl must like it that way, otherwise they wouldn't participate in it (and plenty of ppl do, even if only some of the time) or they'd complain about it more often, or everyone would fukc off somewhere else and the place would become a desert, like Spokey Dokeys board did last year, but I really don't understand why ppl would spend valuable minutes of their life, that they'll never get back, feeling angry w/the computer!

ken c is like carrot top without the props.

End Threads quicker - Sheffield is bombed, there are no survivors.

Although it's probably pointless trying to get this back on track.

:D

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman is a cock

Dom is a fanny

you come on this thread as if you own it with your petty abuse, but end threads quicker != how to prevent threads getting started in the first place

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://www.staircasestudio.com/portfolio/gettingalonglogo.gif&usg=AFQjCNGjKAy1Ml947zMASzbYYdiLGViwXA

http://home.earthlink.net/~coveymaya/images/getting_along.jpg

"what a stupid place to put a child"

Judging by the yellow lines in the road, those kids are really small.

end bike ride quicker

those "lines" are actually cylindrical universes

i AM STILL REQUESTING THAT THEY DELETE THIS ONE...I DON'T ANYTHING UNDER MY NAME HERE...IF I DON'T WANT THIS TO SHOW UP UNDER GOOGLE SEARCH WHY CAN'T THEY BE NICE ENOUGH TO DELETE THIS ONE? BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY MEAN PEOPLE...
AND IT HURTS ME TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DO THINGS ON PURPOSE TO HURT PEOPLE....
IF I WRITE SOMEONE A LETTER AND REQUEST A DELETION THEY SHOULD BE RESPECTFUL OF ARTISTS WISHES...
OR PEOPEL IN GENERAL. WHY DO THEY HAVE MODERATION REQUESTS IF THEY IGNORE MY REQUESTS???

IT IS SAD THAT i AM TREATED SO POORLY MY OTHER POSTERS AND PEOPLE ON THE NET..IGNORING ME...LIKE i AM A PIECE OF CRAP....
i AM BEING TREATED LIKE CRAP./...

Is this anything to do with that Paul McCartney/Stevie Wonder song about black and white people living in a piano?

John Justen and Fluffy Bear will drink it: kidney failure

racial harmony is one thing but tolerance between music nerds, it'll never happen.

bring back blueski! he made ilx what it was!

John Justen and Fluffy Bear will drink it: Bleach

wtf is happening on this 'end thread quickly' thread? I do some work for an hour, come back and it's become a bitchfight.

http://hypnorich.com/images/hypnotized.jpg

glancing over this thread title in the new answers page, my first thought was that it was a question of who has the more autistic writing style. i'd say scott.

that hypnotist appears to have certain preferences

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/whereisthelovequestionmark.jpg

Shorter ILX:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/?action=view¤t=shoddop.jpg

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/1161919309904.jpg

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/?action=view¤t=shoddop.jpg

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/%3Faction%3Dview%26current%3Dshoddop.jpg

FUCK

HE MEAN'S THIS: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/shoddop.jpg

MEANS*

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/shoddop.jpg

YEAH, XPOST

that's me in the snazzy trousers

losing yr religion?

Wow this thread started out pretty good. Then I had to stop reading.

I don't even know who "acrobat" is.

i've met him, he's okay, i think.

acrobat is one of the tea-boys on the newest nathan barley series, i think.

that might actually be true.

Another thing I find perplexing: Was Frogman Henry, actually a big deal to anybody on this thread? If he was, it totally passed me by. The way so many people on this board seem so obsessed with him actually makes me curious about his post-one-(or two or however many)-thread-wonder career, but I can see a whole bunch of posters on that (mostly bland and conservative by the way) thread that I noticed getting "appreciated" more than blueski in the on ilx. But maybe Frogman Henry, is big with, like, British posters, or huge in the rest of the world? (I've no opinion on his posts at all, either way.)

This type of EXCELSIOR can have LOL consequences: roffle with impunity here

gross

so this is what you guys do when we aren't around

^ this thread

IF I WRITE SOMEONE A LETTER AND REQUEST A DELETION THEY SHOULD BE RESPECTFUL OF ARTISTS WISHES...

you are marissa and i claim my five dollars

i thought this guy was also ian riese-moraine

latebloomer or BIG HOOS aka the steendriver or ghost rider?

BIG HOOS with the snark

seriously like 90% of his posts = following up some 'naughty' mark grout pun with 'i just spit out my gatorade!' or 'omg dr pepper all over keyboard' or whatever

ghost rider refers to himself as 'we'. true aristocrat.

thought you were in france.

you should hook up with jagger.

Is acrobat for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is kv_nol for real on that other thread? I am very confused!

Is acrobat for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is kv_nol for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is acrobat for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is kv_nol for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is acrobat for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is kv_nol for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is acrobat for real on that other thread? I am very confused!Is kv_nol for real on that other thread? I am very confused!

For a while I thought I was in France, too. I was mistaken. It turned out I was in the basement.

Like okay OH MY GOD what are you guys on because this thread is like a big WTF, right? But anyway, I just wanted to say: G-kit, I just reread the thread properly and discovered you posted the Hstencil-deja lu thing before I did and, might I add, in a way funnier fashion.

The amount of wilful obtuseness on this thread is sickening

I like it when people accuse others of being stupid by using difficult words.

(Which could be a way to stop the thread quicker, I guess.)

how interesting that this thread is full of middle-aged, predominantly white people complaining about the behaviour of young, predominantly black people.

stevienixed, whatever pretentiosexual beliefs you hold, how has it become your place to tell other people whether their posts are accusing others of being stupid using difficult words? I'd hazard a guess that you enjoy talking about it - or agonising over your own as-yet-unrevealed issues - more than doing it, if this thread is any evidence.

I can't believe you called stevienixed an asshole. Oh wait, you're THAT Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman.

Thanks, btw, Aimless, for posting a photo that's 2.5 megs. Good job. Moron.

ilx feels slow today (erm post-wise not server-wise) and i blame this thread. cos you all are searching for old things to re-say. today needs more shit about americanisms and/or leering at girls on subways

apparently there was some kind of kerfuffle back in the 18th century and, well, long story short, the americans have a day off, eating turkeys or burning crosses or something, i'm unsure of the detail.

so this is what you do while i'm drikning

no wonder we declard independence lol

Were there any shocking revelations upthread? It was too long to read.

I do 'naughty' puns?

Annoying, unfunny boulderdash - pointless posts... when will ILX get the message? Let's start an honest, democratic protest to ban this humourless and offensive moron before it is too late. Let them know his presence is just not welcome! Thankyou.

boulderdash...rick dangerous.jpg

Awesome.

Hi pash.

What's this acrobat all about? I've missed the intro.

i'm one crazy customer :D :D :D :D so get ready for some madnessssss!!!!! ;-)

(that last sentence was parody)

(i'm off)

troll has revealad hisself

hi. i am a new troll. you can track my ip, but you won't recognise it.

anyway, just wanted to let you know, that you should anticipate some quality trolling over the next couple of weeks.

hope you enjoy reading my work as much as i enjoy trolling your boards.

Uh-huh, fascinating, but time is of the essence. Good Luck!

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/05/01/sumo_wideweb__470x295,0.jpg

For a guy who self-identifies as a feminist, I willfully ignore this stuff to a crazy degree

Looks like our old "friend" Tricyclic Looper is back...

No, it's just ILE's new rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes.

But then when we have moderators who encourage this sort of thing rather than taking active measures to discourage it, it's hardly a surprise that we get this standard of discourse.

On the plus side, Acrobat is still of comin'-home-in-a-box age, isn't he?

It's not new and it's not inventive. And I refuse to talk any more about such things before breakfast...

The emphasis on being stupid in the latest end threads quicker thread made me put my television through a foot

That's a disgraceful way to treat the former Labour leader.

Not only is this the worst thread ever, it's the worst Acrobat post ever. Absolute gormless garbage.

The emphasis of adding current memes to the end (where else) of threads makes me put my Tony Blair through my TV set.

just keepin' the quality threshhold there.

I believe there was an article about it in yesterday's Daily Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus.

In soviet Russia, the television gets put through Your foot.

Even a cursory reading of yesterday's Daily Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus should have told us that.

for a real thrill, ledge, combine your last two threads

(ah man, dare we break out the becky lucas?)

No, sod off. If you're not observant enough to notice things like different surnames and email addresses, then I'm not sure I want to give you a chance, especially considering the abuse you've volleyed at everyone else, due to one apology. If you were to start using this place like a normal human being rather than an attention-seeking, paranoid, rude drama queen, then maybe we'd ALL forgive you.

for a real thrill, ledge, combine your last two threads

Quoi? I'm out of my depth. It was all a mistake, I should never have come here.

Thrusting Thatcherkids have no time to look at different surnames and email addresses.

and nor do we! Theatre!

ooh thrusting thatcherkids that's a good one *roffle*

OK, genesis of this = argt about thrusting thatcherkids. Last night, in my capacity as ILM sub-moderator, I deleted most but not all of a post I thought was abusive and threatening (the next sentence was "You're a fucking disgrace darling"), left a (minimal) explanatory note, and an injunction to "Grow up!"
Various ILM regulars — ledge taking the lead — objected to this, as censorship and anti Free Speech. I won't rehash the various posts: I want people to go for it properly here.

Some points: Are there limits? What are they? Can we "police ourselves"? Do we need moderators? If x (in this case acrobat) seems to be attracting more hostile attention than anyone else, is it acceptable to step in and prune said attention down somewhat? Or does this make me "the biggest rapist of all" (mornin Mark G). Should moderation be anonymous? Should it be invisible? (ie I left this particular "edit" visible, because I wanted foax at large to know something had happened: ledge requested, possibly ironically, that it be done "out of sight"...)

All yours, my disgraceful darlings...

caught my first Pike at the weekend. Sir.

x-post How the hell did YOU get to be a moderator?

xpost, see any good birds whilst fishing?

Most shaggable indie chick (sorry, I'm bored right now...)

Sarah Nixey
Bird from JJ72
Cerys (to keep Julio happy!)
Louise Wener
Her from Saint Eteinne
Charolette from Ash
Sonia from Echobelly
Justine from Elastica (if you like that sort of man-woman look)

And please no PC type 'you sexist pig' remarks, because I wouldn't arse myself (and don't arse myself) when I have talk about footballer's bums stuffed down my throat at work.

If Passantino's a moderator then I'm about to put my foot through the monitor and send Stet the bill. I honestly do get extremely violent urges whenever I see an image of Dom Passantino.

i had sex with acrobat last week and posted about it to a messageboard. true story.

kingfishers, herons, greebs, and the common ducks.

Or does this make me "the biggest rapist of all" (mornin Mark G).

OK, what does this mean? It's not a quote from me, and it's not an opinion I hold of you.

I need clarification here.

I think that was from the Evening Standard

Mark, we may be corny indie fuxx, but we're not actually delusional enough to think that any of these rich daughters of Hollywood would cast an eye our way. Does that mean we should stop talking about them, though? No, because it's fun.

there's only three active mods on ILE at the mo (blueski, passantino, pash) if you could look at the Admin Log. none of the moderation seems OTT in my opinion (at least if it is it's in response to OTT behaviour by certain posters).
ILM is a different fish kettle tho granted. But I got the impression the majority of people were fine with the over-zealous/zero-tolerance approach there now!

xp tp dr c btw

Why do I bother?

Our local thread is dreadful. We have posters in two flavours: angry troll, or mellow troll. That's it. You want something different, you fuck off to trance thread at ILM.

I found a thread for local posters... uk watercooler. I checked the posters on there. Dismal. "Influences: Hundred Reasons, Haven, Deftones"... it's like the personals section of Kerrang! So I put an advert up. I didn't bother mentioning musical influences, I just asked for passion. I did mention "indie" however.
So, over a week down the line. Six responses. Not bad, huh? Except...

One response is from a woman called Katie. Bad start. All women called Katie are cloned somewhere in a lab where they fill their skulls with kitsch at conception and breed them to be obsessed with Barbie merchandise. Sample of the girl's e-mail:

i cant really explain myself. but im not a goth i have black hair but its because i love snow white and on the superficial side of things i love the attention too!! heh heh urm im just me and there is no other way to explain it!!!slightly crazy but i can sat that so it must mean i'm not. oooppps i ve said loads!!Sorry!!!

I'm thinking maybe not.

Next up... a guy who's into Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and "acid funk" (strike one). He's currently in a thread called Melted Fuzz Box (strike two). And whilst discussing the football with him, he referred to the Nigerian team as "jungle bunnies" (strikes four through six hundred).

Then I had an e-mail from two guys who said "We're looking for a poster for our death metal thread". I wrote alt.indie in the ad. Last time I checked, Burzum weren't alt.indie.

So they're gone as well.

The other two weren't that interesting. One mentioned Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, which got him crossed off the list straight away. I think my dreams of internet stardom are going to have to go onto the backburner for a bit.

Apologies if this is long winded and tedious, but it's 1am and I'm irritated and the off license is shut.

library archives need you people.

As a sidenote, when did our entire culture decide that pissing people off was a cool thing to do? Pissing people off is cool and interesting about 1/1000 of the time -- mostly it just pisses people off.

Holy shit, Ledge!

It's called the Missionary Position because it was introduced to "evil" "heathen" tribes who did it in unusual ways by missionaries who Hated Fun, along with other fun-killers such as CLOTHES and Christianity along with the "conversion" process.
It's refered to as vanilla sex because it's not particularly enjoyable for the female, i.e. she is trapped, helpless beneath thrusting male, unable to utilise her own hip-swivelling fun. Obv, I'm not particularly a big fan, esp. with the skinny-hipped DDB's who leave my thighs looking like a boxer's face after a particularly energetic bout - buttocks are padded for a reason, boys! Use them! But it can be OK occasionally, esp. if the man is nervous and/or hesitant, as it seems to work for boys.

and i was tired and cross and chose the mean way to make a point, Dom Passantino, rather than the civilised way: which point, to be analytical, was i suppose some platitude about the problem of being aware of when one's being rude
i think kenan's original remark was breaktakingly rude, but as he i think explains, his awareness of this (at point of posting, and also at point of thread-starting) had not yet entirely kicked in => in the event the that one mong that's shit's solution was probably the right one, but doesn't norman's post put the OTT event in perspective, not (as it turns out) by being a carbon copy of ken c vs ledge, but actually by being (after due consideration) palpably different?

i really wonder how many of the anti-Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman people on this thread are a. over 21 and b. fucking regularly.

(as for the guy who suggested "a cursory reading of yesterday's Daily Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus", i wish nothing less than a massive advere reaction, hopefully resulting in death.)

See? Thread dead. Everyone hates me. Life is fucking shit. I'm going to get some coffee. And make some cake.

I think I am really fucking confused with this thread.

Tom, delete... I'll wait for Jess to say it instead.

Okay, this is rock bottom. Or malodorous, beguiling bottom.

To quote someone on my greetings thread: "Welcome to the wonderful world of asshats".
I honestly don't understand what I've done. Maybe I seem too enthusiastic, too verbose, too, oh FUCK IT I'm just being myself and if you lot can't deal with it then FUCK YOU ALL. I didn't come here to be abused by no-life webfreaks who can't stand it when someone shows a bit of genuine eloquence. I came here to talk about music and perhaps indulge in a bit of harmless banter, and the ill-feeling is entirely of your own creation.

Your harassment campaign is a very well-organised one though, I'll give you that.

Congratulations, you got me to pay attention to you. Now fuck off and stop being a gossipy cunt.

Please don't do it again, Dom Passantino, because it's only the possibility of losing which makes the game worth playing, and how can you ever lose if your spider skills allow you to leap from building to building, correct spelling mistakes, etc?

aw, Trayce, don't be confused. I hate everyone and everything, and everyone and everything hates me. Outside the hermetically sealed box of angst, life continues as normal for everyone else.

Except you don't, do you, because you have no empathy or perception cos if you did you'd notice the "retard alert" sign we show behind your back everytime you come in, or you'd realise that whoever spots you coming in the office first leaves fast so they don't have to deal with you! ARGH! And then that time when I was having a poo and you were in the next cubicle when I got there and finished way ahead of me and yet you stood around by the sinks to see who you'd been shitting next to, and when it was me you were embarassed and left fast, you disgusting perverted scatophiliac!

ok, change of plan. seeing as this clearly isn't going to happen, i am quitting ilx for good. tara.

I think I've worked out why a) there's so many solo posters, and b) why solo posters are, on the whole, miserable bastards with a hatred of humanity.

See you after lunch Dom.

I'm not advocating zapping ledge's thread, I just think a mod in the NU-no-admin-log-era should have known they would have been opening a can of worms by fufilling a request w/o a discussion on it.

Is it because Marcello is an otherwise responsible poster who couldn't have known his thread would end up the way it did? Is it because he asked nicely? Is it because the rep of non-ILXors was at stake? I never got to read it, it got zapped pretty fast.

If we're not getting admin log back, at least use this board to explain non-routine admin actions.

I'm totally lost now. Which thread was that?

I stress this ye of the Miles Hunt features, but I did offer to meet you where you could have A) Punched me in the face B) Given me shit to my face C) Had a drink with me D) Actually taken advantage of meeting some new people, who would - in turn - maybe have liked you and invited you out to some cool nights in LA instead of you sitting here all day every day. But you did not. So who is the real chickenshit? Certainly not me who meet you any fucking day pal.

You have all ruined a potientally funny thread. Now STFU.

OTM

answer #1 BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL ABOUT BEING ROCKABILLY and that scene is wack!

Taking Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman's advice on how to be a shut-in aspie rube is the first step down a slippery slope!

Have we done the TS: Sufjan Stevens vs Shakin' Stevens thread yet?

oh gnoes someone acting dumb on the internets what will become of us

What is the big difference here? Neo Nazis hate people from non-Western cultures. Eminem hates homosexuals. I would call that two sides to the same story...

Wait a minute - are you alleging that Shakin' Stevens is a gay Nazi?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW8RgmEJs-8

I wrote that post but what you see before you was edited by the ILX moderator, the 24-year old Dom Passantino. He changed the line "yeh acrobat is safe" into "If I meet acrobat I'll kick her in the face for destroying ILX. The fucking bitch." I've talked to Mr. Acrobat on several occasions and many of my good friends and close with him and I would like to personally apologize for what can only be deemed as a juvenile and unfunny joke. The original line called him "safe," denoting the fact that he is the most popular of the recent new ILX posters and one most people relate to and enjoy. How that can be changed and legitmately defended as a proper edit is beyond me and behalf of myself I would like to apologize to Mr. Acrobat and anyone this may have offended even if I did not write it in the first place. I have recently quit ILX after a similar yet much less offensive edit was made in my Graham Poll poll thread. There is no excuse for what the line in this thread you have just read, probably in as much shock as I was. This will probably be deleted and the edit never changed which is quite unfortunate. Sincerely, yr pal MPPPpA Sr.

This is the weirdest fucking thread. I didn't get it at all until acrobat posted Stormy Davis's classic beratement of me.

jaymc: the supposed lack of awareness and discretion re worth of opinions (or at least the worth of their frequency+monotony) is tantamount to actual contempt - towards the board and it's readers, a perverse arrogance and just general delusion.

Lots of us do this, but some a lot more than others.

Fuck's sake acrobat, did you really think anything on this thread would be either clever, funny, constructive, incisive, interesting or even in the slightest bit upsetting to the person you are targeting?

ah, those were the days!

Ha, this is the bomb. Utterly hilarious. All I can say is a big thankyou to acrobat for once again proving that ILX is obsessed.
The funniest thing of all is the misogyny accusations. What I would say shows a lack of respect for women is degrading to them to be your own little fuck-buddies like... oh yeah, that nice little Mark "three in a bed, I'm a slut" G. Tell me, what shows more respect? A four year plus relationship that has lasted through different world places and areas of the country or someone who thinks so much of himself and the opposite sex as to admit that he'd "be a slut" and engage on a threesome - thus, in my opinion at least, taking any sort of love, trust or compassion out of sex? Anyway, I'm not here to talk about my romantic ideals and all that, but my point is that Mark G sounds like a bit of a prat really - and one with little respect for women.

But I'm here to say "yeah Holly Valance wow" as any guy in a pub does. Hahaha, shit you guys should hear the stuff that comes out of the women's mouths I know! About other women too - it's great catty stuff, but God forbid ILX knows any real people.

jaymc - ha, what an idiot. Cannot ignore a few threads on an internet chat room. What? You not got the self control? ILX means so much to you that you actually think the odd thread ruins your life and you need to start this shit up? A thread about someone you don't know? HILARIOUS. Grow up man, there's more to life than this silly little forum. Same goes for Michael Annoyman, who can slag me off all he wants but from my vantage point is nearly always on here and wants to date via Friendster. C'mon chaps and chappettes - he lives in LA and can't pull? You need more of a character profile?

Y'know, thing is, ILX is kinda fun. It's a laugh, there's some informed opinions on here and even guys like ledge seem like they'd be pretty cool in person. Now and again he's made me laugh, same with Ms Misery and some others. Marcello is hilarious, a very wise chap - there's good folk on here. Just don't let the nerds ruin it. And stop obsessing over me ok? Having the time to photoshop images onto pictures just indicates to me that you've maybe got too much time on your hands. As I have right now, I admit, hence this dumbass long post.

How dare you, quite frankly.

It's just a bit of..

Frankly it's a miracle no-one was killed

It's OK, I understand, this aint no never-never land.

Fuck's sake Mark, did you really think anything on this thread would be either clever, funny, constructive, incisive, interesting or even in the slightest bit upsetting to the person you are targeting?

I hope that when this issue gone I'll see you when your clothes are on

Mark G is a nob

Why have you picked The Verve's shit songs, you fucking crab-apple mulching moron?

landed gentry? (xpost)

Is there a "Hide Calum Threads" option on Preferences yet?

I wish I'd read the actual interesting, because it does sound like an interesting idea.

But I decry the lack of the whole culture of calum threads. I can remember, even when I was a kid in the 70s and early 80s, that there was a culture where you would muck about with calum threads as a hobby or fun kids learning experience. Nicky Wire in a banana suit and stuff like taht, the magazine "Popular Holly Vallance" which would always have a section of things you could try at home.

But I suppose calum threads have exploded to rapidly in development over the past 30 years that although yes, you can build your own Police Academy movie or Sleeper album or reference to giallo film in your shed, the average calum thread enthusiast doesn't have a hope in hell of building their own ... Nutty Nigel in your own shed.

He's a bit like the Fopp empire, in that respect.

I think the whole debate in the original question is F***ing retarded. People who appreciate inane banter want more than just one poster boy... What many fail to appreciate is that a thread is an artform in itself - a concept. With the availability of polls, the troll thread will die and we will never be able to appreciate this in the same way.

She was in The Butterfly Effect and Starsky and Hutch so I'd say her career is doing just fine.

any sign of recent funny in this thread?

Dom is right about the 'calum threads' comment - NO WAY IN HELL would Nick Southall be allowed to vent any of his other reactionary views in print (and yes, he has them, esp WRT dubstep). I guess it's OK to hold such views as an ancient upper-middle-class curmudgeon but I have always faced Embrace fans with 'ah no worries, your ignorant opinion dies when your thread does' I know it's OTT disrespectful, but fuck their Danny Macnamara fanboy worship. Reminds me of the time during Pixies vs Placebo when xhuxk responded to criticism of his Placebo fandom with 'well what about Embrace?' What about it? I know that on television it's permissible to call Danny MacNamara a bitch or a slut or a cunt or a whore or whatever but we don't tolerate racial epithets. Why is this?

There is a common meme amongst my friends which is 'you can't like Britpop your way to acceptance on ILM' and I LOVED when Louis Jagger wrote t'other day there was a big difference between being a Boo Radleys as opposed to a mere Ilxor with a couple of Stone Roses singles. It's hard to hate other posters for being compliant or ignorant or anti britpop-directed but I've just decided that the vast majority of the population, ILX included, have too much invested in traditional boys with guitars to want to change them or in fact to even know how, whether it's relationships, the writing of ones own songs, the division of labour between lead and rhythm. I sit there watching certain threads with the most amazing detachment because with the tiniest examination, for me, they unravel into absurdity.

i hope you've all got this out of your system now

The people who revive the most threads = the people who have the most personal unhappiness, discuss

poll!

this never happened to the other guy/non-meta thread

Just got offed is a prick

Someone please adopt "the biggest rapist of all" as a username

Taking Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman's advice on how to be a shut-in aspie rube is the first step down a slippery slope!

-- acrobat, Thursday, July 5, 2007 2:56 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Link

otm, that guy was a fucking douche

altho his wife seems very nice

Jesus Christ I came back because I thought this fucking childish shit was done with, have you honestly got nothing better to do than sit there with your dick in one hand half-assedly typing pathetic "zings" with the other?

I get that some people feel "political" or "activist" about taste which is fine. I used to feel that way more (and still do about certain traditional rockism debates), but in some ways I feel like the war is over and now we are living in a heaven of *so much* great music! (and not just Daft Punk wannabes).

So fucking button it OK?

I can't believe people used to post like this.

Look at me
Look at me
I'm a zing master

(I mean fuckin A at least pipecock can be bothered to type his own one-liners)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/raheem.gif

Angry, angry young man.

http://www.savethewaves.org/images/advboard/noodles_sm.jpg

I'm amazed I haven't posted:

end threads quicker
eat yrself fitter
end threads quicker
eat yrself fitter