rolling craigslist crepey thread

bury me in the sand at the beach - m4w - 45 (beach 116 st )
Reply to: pers-668997✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2008-05-05, 4:25PM EDT

i will be at beach 116 st and need this therapeutic and fun burying

i get there at 11a.m.ish

you bury me and walk on me

this helps my painful arthritis and neuropathy.

i leave at 1p.m.

i cannot reply to emails immediately
i use the library for 30 minutes

646 785 9479

* Location: beach 116 st
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 668997693

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/22/craigslist.killing/index.html

i always lol whenever people say things like, "i can't believe someone like him could do something like this!" because there's nothing crepeier than dudes who look like this guy imo

on every law and order episode ever...

He don't look that crepey.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41767000/jpg/_41767336_klinsmann_getty300.jpg

(Not crepey, btw)

http://bricksandstonesgossip.com/2009/04/22/craigslist-killers-philip-markoff-wedding-website-removed/

his high school pic in ny times is definitely serial killer material

http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2009/04/22/us/23markoff.ready.html

I generally fear all blonde people though

“Unfortunately you were given wrong information as was the public,” McAllister wrote in the e-mail “All I have to say to you is Philip is a beautiful person inside and out and could not hurt a fly! A police officer in Boston (or many) is trying to make big bucks by selling this false story to the TV stations. What else is new?? Philip is an intelligent man who is just trying to live his life so if you could leave us alone we would greatly appreciate it. We expect to marry in August and share a wonderful, meaningful life together.”

poor kid : /

seriously, that is going to take a crapload of therapy to get over

I don't have much experience with serial kidnappers/murderers, but I would imagine there might be SOME indication of behavioral abnormality. I guess she wouldn't be the first delusional fiancee the world has seen.

this is all over the local news. dude was apprehended on his way to foxwoods casino with a grand in cash, if that gives you a hint as to the motives behind the string of robberies.

wondering what the name will be of the craiglist analogue in the inevitable SVU episode

This has been all over the national news. Even "serious" news organizations like NYT and Washpost gave it a lot of play.

"who would have guessed affluent white males would abuse those social privileges"

no so affluent apparently

Jesus the local news won't shut up about this. They interviewed a bartender this morning from a joint near his apt and she was like, "Well you know there is a chance he may have come in here and I might have served him. I can't believe I probably gave a serial killer a beer!" lol.

wondering what the name will be of the craiglist analogue in the inevitable SVU episode

All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar

this dude is either incredibly stupid or completely bonkers or both, based on his assumption that he could get away scot-free after using e-mail to contact them, and his assumption that modern hotels don't have security cameras.

Probably both. Rush of gambling addiction plus weird sense of entitlement/superiority.

Yeah, seriously. I thought medical students were supposed to be smrt.

Then again, the Dr. from my hometown who murdered his wife booked all the travel tickets he used that day in his own name and with his own credit cards. So yeah, maybe crazy = stupid.

i was talking about this with my gf last night and we figured he might have thought the women wouldn't go to the police because they were basically prostitutes, but then we figured it would go beyond that what with the whole murder thing.

Yeah that is often one of the many reasons prostitutes are targeted by criminals.

Apart from the fellow student who pointed out how weird he could be at the lab, everyone else's reaction makes me think he may just be a garden variety sociopath.

"it would go beyond it" = had nothing to do with that motivation

considering how many of the "all american" preppie mfers i've known seemed like totally charming sociopaths i would agree on that point

omar, did you read any of the 10th anniversary stuff about Columbine?

yeah, that was pretty interesting and i can't say surprising. assuming you're referring to the bit about how they weren't really these goth gamer nerds but were actually these cruel psychos?

The one guy was kind of sad and pathetic and the other guy was crazy as a loon and frightened the shit out of me - capable of charming the pants off of almost anyone.

yeah they always end up falling into one of those two camps (which is obvious, i guess.) the hillside stranglers, i think, had a similar dynamic.

And Bundy, etc..

I love how those big media stories (anti-bullying, "she said yes" christian, evil video games and marilyn manson) were debunked. Too bad they'll probably stay alive in the public mind...

I paid for your gas - You had forgotten your purse, did you play me? - 40 (Shell Pasadena)
Reply to: pers-gud5p-1266514✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-12, 3:08PM PDT

So I posted before but nothing from you!!??!! Let’s try again. I would like to think that it was a misunderstanding or perhaps you made a judgment error when you gave me your phone number but I highly doubt that. I am talking about the gorgeous woman who was in front of me on a line to pay for gas at the Colorado/San Gabriel corner Shell station in Pasadena on July 4 – last weekend. To refresh your memory: You asked the cashier for a $5 worth of gas, that you were empty and you forgotten your purse at home. You promised to pay him back later that day.

When he refused, I offered to pay for you. But I took it a step further by jokingly offering to fill up your tank in exchange for a chance to buy you a movie or something. To my surprise, you agreed and said and I quote; "its deal, you are on!" Honestly, I did not expect you to say yes. So I paid $40 to fill you up and you gave me your phone number and said - "call me ok?" Your 'husband' answered when I called the next morning and when I asked for you, he immediately said, "Is this the guy who bought my wife gas?" well, next time mind your own business but thanks anyways ha! Ha! haaaa!!!" he laughed and then he hung up on me! Say what? I thought what a minute! So I called back, your 'husband' picked up again and told me that he was going to call the cops about someone stalking his wife!!!! I hang up the phone. Then, it dawned on me: "I HAVE BEEN PLAYED!"

I did go back to that gas station that morning and the guy was kind enough to search and play back the video tape of 3:35PM July 4, 2009. There, parked on pump #1 was your car with your license plate in clear view!!!!!! Well, well, well. And to think that I do have friends in the law enforcement community where I could easily find out who you are and where you live but guess what? I do not have time for that crap. Well, good luck to you, but generous people are hard to come by. I make good money annually so the $40 is nothing to me, but remember that what goes around comes around. So unless you change your ways, some day you will do the same thing to someone who will not be as nice as I am and they will take care of you accordingly. As for me, I am moving on baby, I am moving on.

* Location: Shell Pasadena
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

sounds like hes made peace with the situation

"its deal, you are on!"

tbf he got played pretty hard there

the last line reads like it's from an onion editorial

actually the whole thing would work pretty well as an onion editorial

a chance to buy you a movie or something

"take care of you accordingly."

He makes good money annually, so 40 dollars is NOTHING to him.

so "nothing" that "I did go back to that gas station that morning"

how much do you think he had to annoy the cashier before he would play the surveillance tape?

like, half an hour of indignant whining?

i wonder how many requests "friends in the law enforcement community" typically get from people they know wanting to track down license plate #s and addresses.

okay I should wait until the end of Monday to pick my username quote for the week

$40 gas + promise to buy a movie or something does not = smash hot chick. shocking.

i wonder how the story actually went down, something seems fishy

Say what? I thought what a minute!

btw the last line reads like a bimble post

he sounds upset

there are tears behind that listing

This sounds like a slightly crepey-er version of the dudes I knew in college that would stalk around the background of a bar just dying to light a girl's cigarette so they'd have an excuse to talk to her. They didn't smoke, just carried the lighter around waiting for such a chance. Weird. I can totally picture this guy like sprinting across the store to offer his aid when he heard her problem.

the part about the story that doesn't make sense is the giving of the phone #

At least not her giving him her real number.

she gave her husband's number

probably her number too, lol married folx. i just meant you would think she'd give him a fake number.

stuff like that is just "poking the crepey bear"

she was putting $5 in her car.

$5. that's what a 16 yr old with their parents' car does.

Especially when gas is $3.05 a gallon.

but she forgot her purse at home, and had to ask the cashier to front her the $5.

right, she just needed enough to drive home

So I posted before but nothing from you!!??!!

this is the funniest part

lol i love that

somebody should really poll this, cause there are at least 10 classic lines

RE: I paid for your gas - You had forgotten your purse, did you play m
Reply to: pers-xftss-1267020✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-12, 10:32PM PDT

Wow, this guy actually replied to an email I sent him because I said he was a sucker for paying for that lady's gas. He then wrote me a threatening email about finding all my information and sending it to my boss and others in my address book. What a freak and I guess getting burned for $40 bucks really was a big deal and he doesn't make that good of money.

From: "C T" coupdetat at live dot com
To: mycawk at att dot net

Did you miss the part that I have connections in the law enforcement community? By the way I did find out who this chick was and where she lives. If you believe that I am not gonna go after her ass for my $40, then you must really be the real sucker. But no one should worry about her, you should worry about yourself now. Att.net is getting info on this (your) e-mail address for me. As of now I have your e-mail headers and IP address which points me to your current computer. Once I get your info, I promise to send it to you. But it's what I will do with it is what you should be worried about because your employer will get the copy of the e-mail you sent to me, and all your friends who receives e-mails from this e-mail. I promise you. Stay tuned....

Exciting developments!

" connections in the law enforcement community" = "my probation officer"

someone plz email him this thread too

when creepy becomes criminal

That person should write back saying he has friends in law enforcement who are going to go after the original guy for making veiled threats

Then someone in law enforcement should email them both and just say "I am in law enforcement"

Then all the law enforcement officers can battle it out between themselves

xpost

"i will embarrass you by forwarding an email in which you called me a sucker to people you know"

It continues (a fourth party chimes in)...

Reply to: pers-x2s4b-1267036✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-12, 10:59PM PDT

This note is to the original poster: Face it, you got played, and no police officer or friend of yours in law enforcement can go anything to help you. Also, I highly doubt that you convinced the gas station folks to play back the tape and find the license plate of the woman who took advantage of your largesse (look it up). It's your own fault; by your own admission, you gave her the money in exchange for the opportunity to bang her (oh, I mean to take her to the movies). Did you ever ask if she was married before offering to pay for her? She took advantage of you, and that's just the way it goes. It happens to most of us a few times in life. Learn from it and move on.

but he HAS moved on, he said so

it's like how many times does a guy have to make creepy Craigslist posts about something before you understand that he's over it?

When is this guy going to learn to check for a ring before he makes a move? Don't people start doing this when they hit 20? It's not like she took it off before she arrived at the gas station

20?

i started doing that at age 15 btw

It's not like she took it off before she arrived at the gas station

Or did she...

i continually forget about the whole checking-for-a-ring thing. i thought about it for the first time in months while in a meeting the other day and was kinda shocked to realize that the four 20-something women in the room were all married.

you mean the one 80-something

4:20... something something... married...

that is the French-est joke I've ever seen

seulment in montreal

i cant believe i missed the 4:20 joke in there

u have no idea how happy i was when i was in czech republic and i realized the country code was +420

the dank republic

that's my work address!

wait, I'm assuming French Canadians wouldn't ever use "huitante," right?

lol

A perfect sucker.... where is my $3,000? - m4w - 39 (Land where fools fall in love!)
Date: 2009-07-19, 3:19PM PDT
Reply To This Post

I saw a posting in here about some guy who got played for gas. Well, I don't mean to top him but man, I spent over $3,000.00 in just three weeks over this girl (You know yourself, I hope you are reading this!) You found a perfect sucker - me! I met you by accident at Macy's in Santa Anita Mall and from the get go I should have known that you were up to something. You were too friendly and accepted my request for lunch almost immediately! But then, you refused to go because you said they had re-possessed your car and they wanted $1,200 to release it. So first, it was your car payment - $1,200, and then it was your internet bill - $400?!!?? How did an internet bill get to $400? Don’t they cut it before it reaches that high? Then it was your CC Visa bill - 375, then it was your school fees $720.00, then it was your rent $800. All within three weeks. Now your phone has been disconnected! A closer look at your car registration shows that it is registered to some Jose Miguel Carrera?? Who the hell is that? Did I just pay for some guy's SUV to be released from the repo man? When I went to 'your place,' your poor mom (God bless her soul) said you have not been living there since you were 18 and that you never paid for rent as far as she knew. Furthermore, she doesn't know where you live. She also said you have a habit of playing guys and that I was not the first guy to show up there looking for you! Say what?????????????

I really liked you friend. But oh well... I hope you are having fun. For one thing, all your bills have been wiped out in just one Month! Bravo!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/83/Firmacarrera3.PNG

"friend?"

dude sounds like he feels enriched to have undergone this experience

one hopes he was at least having some fun during those three weeks

dudes who can get played like that mystify me

^^ and then post on craigslist about it.

dudes with limited social opportunities need to talk about their lives and feelings just like everyone else

haha to be honest the most evocative part of this is imagining him showing up on her mother's doorstep, and the wonderfully nuanced and dramatic conversation that must have taken place between them

what dum dums

The mom should've been all "My daughter died in a tragic accident at Santa Anita Mall 30 years ago and every year at this time, a different gentleman shows up on my doorstep with a story just like yours."

lol

lmbo if i have a daughter i'm going to do that to the first boy who picks her up for a date

This is obviously a result of the negative influence of rap star Missy Elliot.

wait, I'm assuming French Canadians wouldn't ever use "huitante," right?

― nabisco, Monday, July 13, 2009 7:56 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i have never heard this

yay, last week's question has been answered, and the quatre-vingt joke stands

sorry, there's a real backlog

$100 Shared Loft With Cool Female in Santa Monica - close to beach!! (Santa Monica)
Date: 2009-12-03, 9:36AM PST
Reply to: hous-yky7c-1493158✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]

CAN'T GET A BETTER DEAL THEN THIS - 100 FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH!

FEMALE Roommate wanted to share a LOFT unit, 1 bath, on 6th Street near Ocean Park, 6 blocks to the beach. Really great apartment on a safe street that’s close to everything, walking distance to Main Street, 3rd St. Promenade and the beach.

Hardwood floors downstairs, carpet upstairs, open beam ceilings, 20 foot high floor to ceiling windows in living area lets in a lot of sunlight, small front deck with bbq. Apartment is furnished except for bedroom. DirecTV, wireless internet, landline phone with fax.

Looking for a non-smoking, female roommate, preferably in their 20’s to mid 30’s. Someone who is considerate and CLEAN, financially stable and responsible with bills, someone who is mellow during the week, but likes to go out on weekends. Someone who has a full-time job or travels a lot for work (ie. does NOT work from home). I work freelance in film production and am either working really long hours or have time off. You will have the great futon on the lower part (the living room space).

We are sister and brother who will share the sleeping space up stairs. Although our life is private, you should know that we are kinda involved with each other. Not to get into too many details, let's just say that we show affection to one another and opened our sexuality to each other. Not asking anything of you besides your tolerance and open mind towards our lifestyle. If you are fast to judge, a hater or have nasty things to say to us - please do not write!

$100 month + share utilities (electricity, cable, internet/phone) Rent is month-to-month. No pets, No smoking. Available now.

A futon in the living room while siblings boink above me? Damn it for not being born female.

ha ha, i thought it read 'if you are a judge, a hater or have nasty things to say to us'.

"or are employed by any health, mental-health, or social-services division of the government of the state of California in any capacity that carries with it any legal obligation to report and/or act upon anything you may witness here"

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/mis/1495762727.html

craigslist killer killed himself

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100815/ap_on_re_us/us_craigslist_killing

better himself than anyone else i guess

Young woman at Los Feliz Post Office - m4w - 100 (Vermont near Franklin)

You were waiting just behind me in line at the table as I filled out my paperwork. It was about 3:30pm Friday. Young oriental woman -- I could see the color of your bra.

We chatted for a too-short moment. I immediately came down with a near-fatal urge to mate with you.

I'm tall, but that's not the only distinguishing thing about me.

If you see this, please let me know....

Growing up in Southern California, I'll admit that I used to get crushes on arty girls like those that are in abundance in Silverlake and Echo Park - those girls with their slender, tomboyish figures and mismatched clothing from overpriced secondhand stores. However, after some interaction with this subgroup, which I used to refer to as "indie kids" before the term hipster arrived, I realized that they are not like the arty girls I met in college at all. In fact, I find it physically painful to sit in a coffeeshop and listen to these sorts of people as they continually spout out cliche hipster nonsense that they seem to think is intellectual thought, but really isn't anywhere close to it.

It's as if the entire generation that these late-20s, early-30-somethings come from is completely emotionally detached, intellectually stunted, and politically and socially disengaged, yet they somehow remain completely self-absorbed. I mean, self-absorption was once solely the domain of the intellectual and artistic elite -- Einstein and Picasso, for instance -- but has now filtered down to those who don't even have a reason to be self-absorbed. Hell, with the seeming nonexistence of rational thought, pragmatism, emotional maturity, or any sense of the world outside, I'm not even convinced there is a self to be absorbed in.

After walking down the street on any given afternoon, a reasonably intelligent guy, one who is currently single and available, for instance, might ask himself - why do girls go out with these hipster douche bag males that have become as ubiquitous to the suburban LA landscape as 7-11s? And this is a serious question, one that has caused several friends and I to ponder far too long now.

In case you're confused about the male hipster model, I'm talking about these cretin-looking fellows with pants that are either too short, too tight, too colorful - or a combination of the three - for any normal adult to possibly feel comfortable in. The haircuts look like a parody of bad '80s movies, but with the addition of sketchy facial hair. Shoes may resemble house slippers. Social skills limited to incoherent mumbling, which could be mistaken for ironic detachment. Affect is that of just waking up from a drug-induced coma, being the victim of a blow to the head by a very large object falling from great distance above, or borderline autism. The warm weather even brings us the glorious sight of guys wearing what once were called ladies' capri shorts.

Now, there are several potential explanations here:

1. It's a clear-cut 'fuck you' to any and all intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan area. It's done with impudence by females who obviously have been burned by some guy in their past and are now trying to get even by flinging a huge middle finger up at the entire remaining dating pool.

2. Dealing with an intelligent, expressive male scares you so shiftless that you'd rather confine your relations to those with the mentality of small children. It is far less threatening. True interaction and real intimacy seems so far out of your grasp that you can't even be bothered to try. It's too close to the realm of adult living that you perceive as being very far from your own dysfunctional existence. Essentially, beyond your obvious outward beauty, there is nothing. And the thought of someone discovering your true hollow self frightens you so much that you seek to cover your eyes with such ridiculously over-sized sunglasses that all the attention is drawn completely away from any characteristics of your personality or lack thereof.

3. You have no idea what I'm talking about. You think those over-sized sunglasses actually complement your face. Detachment really is ironic and cool. Skinny jeans look awesome on portly, bearded dudes.

4. Conforming to strict in-group guidelines soothes your anxiety. Anything that reeks of authenticity or earnestness is to be avoided. See #2.

After seeing places in this world where people live in tin shacks with no electricity or running water and literally eat the sun-baked gravel for survival of the barest degree, I find the lifestyle and values of these hipsters to be reprehensible. And the fact that there are so many publications and facets of the media -- like the LA Weekly, for instance -- that seem to not only cater to this subgroup, but lionize and proselytize about the shitty music and faux-art that they produce must be a sure sign of the impending downfall of the U.S., if not the Western world as a whole.

We here have been given everything, there is no excuse for ignorance and apathy. None. Take your shitty music with no balls, your mumblecore films and sub-Warhol pop art bullshit and go back to Oregon, Washington or Minnesota. And tell your hipster douche bag boyfriends to buy a razor, a comb, and some pants that didn't come off the girls' rack - you fucktards. I hope those ironically over-sized sunglasses at least offer decent UV protection, you'll need it when the last spark of a dying culture flashes on your iPhone background. Thanks for pissing an entire generation away.

http://static2.stuff.co.nz/1400971203/157/10082157.jpg

Einstein and Picasso, for instance

that post makes me want to double down on my too short colorful trousers and sketchy facial hair

fuck that guy and his slimy misogynist friends too

see also reddit fedora etc etc w/e

lol i wrote "trousers."

seriously though, that post does read as pretty scary after the isla vista tragedy. is there anything we, as a culture, can do about these alienated, misogynistic, grandiose men? besides, of course, shining a light on them and mocking them into realizing how hateful they sound.

"I'll admit I used to get crushes" = "I tried and failed multiple times to sleep with these girls bc I creeped them out and now I'm doing a vengeful 180"

its so weird these jeremiads where the author pretends like hes interacted with human beings before but gets it so wrong

After walking down the street on any given afternoon, a reasonably intelligent guy, one who is currently single and available, for instance, might ask himself - why do girls go out with these hipster douche bag males that have become as ubiquitous to the suburban LA landscape as 7-11s? And this is a serious question, one that has caused several friends and I to ponder far too long now.

this is such a desperate cry for pity sex cloaked in tough guy e-fedora posturing

Classic case of someone not quite understanding when people choose their partners for being sexy and cool

To all these complaints:

In case you're confused about the male hipster model, I'm talking about these cretin-looking fellows with pants that are either too short, too tight, too colorful - or a combination of the three - for any normal adult to possibly feel comfortable in. The haircuts look like a parody of bad '80s movies, but with the addition of sketchy facial hair. Shoes may resemble house slippers. Social skills limited to incoherent mumbling, which could be mistaken for ironic detachment. Affect is that of just waking up from a drug-induced coma, being the victim of a blow to the head by a very large object falling from great distance above, or borderline autism. The warm weather even brings us the glorious sight of guys wearing what once were called ladies' capri shorts.

there's the answer 'Yes but what if the person is sexy and cool'

Hello Dummy!

I am an insult comedian enthusiast and my favorite artist is the acerbic Don Rickles. No one can cut you down like Mr. Warmth!

I have memorized thousands of jokes and one-liners from his stand-ups, late-night appearances, television specials, comedic roasts, movies, and records. I know insults that cover everything from age, race, gender, weight, haircut, accent, career, education, athletic ability - even your smile! I also have GBs of pictures on my computer and I look at them daily for even more inspiration.

For the past couple of months, I've been working with a visual effects company to create a custom Don Rickles mask. It cost me $5,000 but it's finally done. It takes an hour to apply, but once it's on I look like Don Rickles from the 1998 film 'Dirty Work.' I'm still working on getting the perfect voice, but so far I think I do a pretty good impersonation.

What I need is someone who is willing to meet me, dressed as Don Rickles, and allow me to insult you. Don't worry, these will all be authentic Don Rickles jokes that he actually said - nothing new that I have invented. My set will include material from several decades of Don Rickles' career, not just old or new jokes.

You will be paid in cash; half when we meet, half when we're done. The pay for this gig is $100.00 CAD per hour. (Please note, I will not actually touch you to hand you the cash, since I have severe haphephobia. I will leave the money on the table in front of you.)

We can schedule a quick meeting (30 minutes) or a long comedy roast session (2-3 hours) depending on our mutual availability. I will need at least 2 hours notice before meeting, since I must apply the mask and due to a fear of mass transit, I only take taxi.

holy shit

that is incredibly creepy, hilarious, and poignant at once

kinda wanna do it

My concern is def that they might subject me to original insults

Do gigabytes of Don Rickles pics even exist