Chicago: customers are advised to allow extra travel time

Are there any good online crosswords out there? The UI on the AV Club's xword is great.

-- Jordan, Thursday, August 2, 2007 4:05 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

you used to be able to do the ny times syndicated puzzle on the sun times web site, not sure if you still can.

I am suspicious a new thread was started solely to avoid discussion of Eric Carmen videos.

no, no, had nothing to do with Eric Carmen. Of zits, tbh. It was just 2000 posts long.

Nick, your second quarter 2007 mix has been making me very happy lately. Also, I think I'm in love with Grinderman. What an awesome, sloppy, nasty record.

I'm surprised not to have seen any reviews putting comparing/contrasting Grinderman and the new Stooges.

I haven't heard the new Stooges, but I hear it stinks.

old and in the way vs. old

i know who i'd choose.

I have no problems with megaposts thread. It always comes back to what I have no read yet. I miss the zittiest summer already.

I still have a couple of zits.

old and in the way vs. old

which is which?

iggy is teetering on the brink of self-parody at this point. nick cave is still a cool motherfucker.

The main difference seems to be that Nick Cave writes songs from the perspective of the (dirty, crazy) old man that he is, while Iggy Pop still seems to be trying to write as a teenager, which is sad.

Nick on point. I love the part of "No Pussy Blues" where he's talking about combing his hair and hiding his gut to get with this younger girl. So awesome. I haven't heard anything else off that album yet though, sounds like I should.

The album is like half awesome, the other half is fine but not especially memorable. My faves are "Get It On," "Honey Bee," and "Go Tell the Women."

is this a new nick cave y'all are talkin about?

Somehow I don't think Nick Cave has that trouble IRL. No pussy, I mean. Maybe he does have a gut, but he's still Nick fuckin' Cave.

Kelsey, it's the Grinderman record, which is supposedly Nick Cave's new rock band but is really just him and most of the Bad Seeds playing more noisily than they usually do. It's good though.

also, I love "Depth Charge Ethel"

yeah, kels, Grinderman is Nick Cave's new band, and it's fairly off the hook.

ZITS ZITS ZITS

ooh. thanks! i'm sure leaf knows about it already but he's the nick cave head in the family.

HI AMANDA!!!!

Hi Kelsey. I am back from Wisconsin, back from the post office and back from the grocery store.

I'm back.

Back to school next week too. Sigh.

I am so glad you are back!

I'm so glad you're ok! I called my mom to find out if my aunt (in twin cities) is ok and she was like, "why would i call her? i'm sure she's ok." WHA?

I left JUST enough time to get to O'Hare on the Blue Line, btw.

I'm glad I'm okay too! It was literally because I was making lasagna last night that I opted to not run the errand that would have taken me over the bridge.

losing my mind w/ this job. LOSING MY MIND
i know i ask for this semi-regularly but if anyone sees any job openings/opportunities tossed around, feel free to throw them my way

Lasagna saves lives.

Classifieds provide jobs.

A few open positions here:

Editorial Assistant, American Journal of Sociology
BiblioVault Operations Assistant (entry-level techy position)
Graphics Specialist (book jacket design, I think)
Production Controller, General Journals Production (sort of what I do but for other Journals)
Promotions/Marketing Assistant

What do you do?

La Lechera - just tellin' it like it is.

Speaking of classes a few posts ago, I am signing up for two! One is a sewing class & the other is the sound art class I mentioned a couple of days ago.

xpost Basically, I coordinate peer review and some production activities for 4 astronomy and astrophysics journals. The position above is for several of the smaller journals, I'm pretty sure. Probably some sociology/ethics/social sciences stuff.

I was reading two things at once and thought I saw the headline Britney Collapses In Minneapolis.

I know what you do! What does deej?

Ha! That, I do not know.

I'd love to Sociology EA job, but I'm a no-go on the degree. Was an independent contractor for McGraw-Hill in Higher Ed Psych and intern occasionally for Oxford University Press for communications and media studies conferences but I think I'm pretty stuck for most EA work until I'm finally able to go back for that degree. Lame.

Who does Deej?

Wait. What?

debbbie does deej

Deej does Dallas.

I'm about to call up my new "mentee". :>

"I do Dallas"
http://branthansen.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/djcandace_1.jpg

That hair! Reminds me of this youtube video I was sent yesterday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGDwScgb_Y0

lolololol

Malibu S. Ted Esq.

i'm guessing that guy did not go to college

Candace today:
http://www.lbeventsandpromotions.com/CandaceBure1_op_400x600.jpg

Sweet vid!

thank heaven for little girls

even if they sometimes grow up to be totally crackers evangelicals

I blame Kirk.

she is evangelical?!

OH YEAH jesus made her pretty!

American Gladiators was basically umissable.

she is evangelical?!

big time. Her big brother is Kirk Cameron, so... there's the math.

I didn't know he was. All I know of KC is that my cousin had a huge crush on him back in the day & bought a copy of Bop or Teen Beat or whatever b/c it had a poster of him in it.

LEFT BEHIND

Oh man she married Pavel Bure's brother

just to amuse myself, I'm going to imagine that Candace has to keep up Christian appearances for Kirk and the family, but she has this whole other secret life that involves drugs and swinging and leather.

ATTENTION, ATTENTION: JAYMC AND ANYONE ELSE WHO IS INTERESTED: LET'S GO TO BIG CHICKS THIS EVENING AROUND 7:15-7:30 FOR BEER AND AMAZING HUMMUS PLATE!!!!!!!! CALL ME

reckless just bought EVERYTHING i brought in (because i'm down to selling the good stuff now) so i've got some $$$ which i should probably put away but instead will be blowing at h0liday club this evening. i've been promised that their isn't a private party going on in the back room this week.

there isn't. heat stroke, sorry.

I'm in an Argo Tea doing some work (not on Broadway), and the staff disappeared and now it really smells like ganja in here.

Have you guys seen Once? It's really good.

Yell out "hey dudes don't bogart that shit"

I want to see that. I watched Dirty Pretty Things tonight, liked it a lot.

there was a priv/ate party in the back room at holiday but it was supposed to be over at 10. it was still raging when i walked in at 11, though it was no longer private. i'm goofed up.

by the way, there are a shit ton of good shows coming up in chicago in august. SONIC CHICKEN 4!!!!

LA LA LA LA LAL LAAAAAAAAAAAA
FRIDDDDDDAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

OMG why hasn't the law firm called me. They're making a decision this week.

Well, it's early in the day...

I saw The Go is playing at The Note tonnight. I like them a lot.

I'm listening to them on myspace. We need something to do tonight after practice.

I've never been to the Note before.

Every time I see this title at the top of the New Answers page, I misread it as "... allow extra TIME TRAVEL" and I am repeatedly disappointed.

awww. That's too bad.

Maybe that will be our next thread title. Just wait about 2000 posts.

indeed. Or approx. 1 week.

Or time travel into the future.

Someone at work apparently brought in rescued kittens that she wants people to adopt. I am going to go play with the kittens and then not adopt them.

No one wants used kittens.

that's just not true.

unless you have some kinda hangup, and you demand that your kittens be pure and unsullied in the eyes of the lord

my kitty was driving me nuts last night. She was doing that uber-needy thing where it's not enough to be on the bed, she has to actually be on ME. It's ok for a few hours, but come that restless time of the morning where I'm trying to cram in some more sleep before the alarm goes off, I need my damn space.

I'm going to eat this for lunch!

http://www.dnr.state.md.us/fisheries/art2001/monkfish540.jpg

yes that is good stuff. I like the way the meat is all gnarly.

Awww kittens. I'd take one if I didn't already have one obnoxious kitten at home.

Take a pic of them!

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1401/997864666_3a15fac7f3.jpg?v=0
simpsonme

http://www.simpsonsmovie.com/sendfriend/DanAmanda_206200722397.jpg

Except I don't usually tuck in my shirts like that.

I can imagine a cartoon version of the FFs.

I've posted this before, but

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/simpsons_avatar.jpg

and like amanda, I do not tuck my shirt in, either. But that's how simpsons people do it, so.

My character wears solid print shirts, not t shirts with graphics. That's part of my personality I suppose.

Too late, I've already used up my kitten time. They are very tiny though.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1310/840920032_5fbdd214d2.jpg

wtf greenlips

ha ha ha
What photo did you use, Jordan??

apparently one where he was deathly ill

In an issue of Gentlemen's Quarterly that I read last week, they had two photos of Horatio Sanz and showed how tucking in one's shirt benefitted the appearance of the larger man.

That's to show that I'm red/green colorblind!

yeah, but being a slob is all part of being a fat slob

Ok, sorry for the old question, but what do I need to do exactly to show my i-tunes songs on gmail?

I am listening to "Gaucho" on vinyl. In a couple of hours I'm going to check out the MLS program at that college. Crazy!

Have an IM client that 1. supports gchat and 2. cooperates with iTunes. It's much easier if you have a Mac.

Ah well. It's a PC at work, and I don't go online that much at home. Guess it wasn't meant to be.

I will just TELL YOU.
I'm listening to When Doves Cry right now.

i was nearly expecting part of the vadge wall to be inside that fish's mouth.

Nick is having a smartypants day.

NICK If you wanna talk about MLS you should talk to my Dan. He got his papers from UIUC. Unless you're committed to going to Gaucho University...

I listened to When Doves Cry like 3x yesterday!

I am listening to the new Richard Thompson, which I like just fine, stop making fun of me, it's not dad rock, ok fine eat me.

I am taking a class on sunday to learn how to make my own clothes!!

Are you going to make clothes out of sound art?

ha! two different classes but i like the way you think, homey.

ooo jealous

i wish i had the patience for that. i know i know practice blablabla but i keep thinking that if i were to excel/be competent at sewing i would have had to produce something more than a stuffed kangaroo* by now.

*made in 8th grade in home ec class

sound art clothes sounds a little skimpy

CLOTHES OF THE FUUUUTTTUUURRREEEE

My sisters and I are doing the $15 xmas present and then a homemade gift again this year. I can't decide what to make. HOW CAN I TOP MONKEYS??

One of my current bandmates is a Richard Thompson fan.

lol penis spam: Chicks always whooped at me and even gentlemans did in the urban water closet!

This just in!
Holiday by Madonna is a long song.

I have been meaning to make you something, actually. It probably won't happen very soon, but when it does WATCH OUT!

I'm going to make a purse to take to a wedding since I can't find one to match my dress. Sarah, bags are EASY to make!

i was asked what i do way upthread, then disappeared - i am researcher/production scheduling assistant/office admin/writer for a non-profit and also do freelance writing (lol ilm) so anything writing/secretarial/research oriented? i dont know what this is considered. bullshit office job?

Amanda, the only reason I'm committed to Gaucho University is that it's the only Chicago-area program with ALA accreditation, and I don't want to move.

Really, K? I gave J0dy this idea for her towel printing project, but...
For a while now, I've wanted some sort of bag to hang on a hook in my
bedroom where I would put delicates that need to be hand washed. I
have lots of lingerie, but it would especially be nice to have in the
winter for my bazillions of pairs of tights that need to be washed by
hand. That way I wouldn't have to find them all in my dirty clothes
when I'm ready for them. So basically I was thinking it would be cute
to make some lingerie bags.
Maybe I could make those myself and also make some for mom and sisters.

I like Richard Thompson/FC/Richard+Linda. He good. One of the only non-trad songs Shirley Collins sang was a Richard Thompson song -- 'Never Again.' Beautiful.

I just had a sort of bad experience making a "square" for this "support pillow" for my preggers friend. I was overwhelmed by pressure and realized I do not like to produce on demand. When inspiration calls, I answer, but sometimes I just want to scream COUNT ME OUT OF THIS MESS. Anyway my square was an abomination and I felt bad about myself after mailing it off. Who needs that shit.

PS NICK YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MOVE ASK ME ABOUT THIS

"Dad's Gonna Kill Me" is a great, great war song. And he sounds more like Nick Cave than ever on it, not just the voice, but the buzzard plucking out dead men's eyes and stuff... it's a little on the dark side.

OK Amanda I am asking you.

I emailed you already so as not to bore people.

Sarah you could totally do that! I made some shoe bags for myself (so that I can shove my shoes in my bike bags w/o getting everything messed up) and I'm guessing you would just make a slightly larger version of that. I closed with a plastic toggle & cord but honestly, zippers aren't difficult either. The other thing you could do is buy ready-made bags you like & embroider something fun on those . . .

do you have a sewing machine or are you looking to do stuff by hand?

I should have taken you to my favorite crafty peoples store when you & nick were in town!!

By hand!

My craftiness is very limited. I'm excited by that stuff but suck at it. I can only handle really small projects.

Deej, if you want to help a thriving nonprofit org apply and get some grants and get paid on a commission basis, if that's anything that suits you, I might have a lead.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z128/ericzieg/your_image.png

ha!

Eric is an old black man with pink hair.

Eric: where should a group of 8 eat dinner in st. paul?

I emailed you already so as not to bore people.

I would not be bored by this.

I think that you could totally make those bags by hand. It will take a bit longer, obviously, but they would be so charming! You can do a draw string closure or a button or anything like that. I would avoid a zipper w/o a machine only because frustration could run high but it's do-able. Or explore the world of embroidery! You could do hankies or napkins or lingerie bags or travel laundry bags (one could be for "clean" and the other could be for "dirty" or something like that). . . . or kitchen towels or pillowcases . . .

I'll forward you the email, how about that?

Khyber Pass or, if you want to splurge, Heartland is fantastic ($30 for three-course prix fixe veg menu - maybe higher on weekend nights, but very good value for what you get). Other than that, Dara Moskowitz knows best.

You know those bags you put bags in? That are cloth and gathered at the ends like a piece of wrapped candy? Maybe I could find some blank ones and then put a design on them somehow.

Nick:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1338/998416066_fcddf1053b.jpg?v=0

THANK YOU!!! I knew you'd have some good options. Sadly, one of the people we're eating with is the pickiest eater I've met since my 5 year old self, so I'll leave it up to her.

Also: I'm totally on your team wrt Dara. She's awesome.

I just read her recent review of Dave & Busters. I mean, here is this James Beard award-winning food writer, really knows her way around cooking and wine, and she goes to this place and has a great time. I really can't think of a music writer equivalent of her. She's the best.

I want to have DM's babies.

I've really appreciated her approach to food & her writing is really fun to read.

I tried to do that Simpsonizer thing, but it didn't like the photos I submitted. Oh well.

I'll be your wing man, Jordan.

Also, in the non-productivity department, I keep trying to write this blog entry about baby names, but I just spent like an hour just inputting data into Excel, after which point I can't really justify ignoring my actual work anymore.

Did you guys do an automatic Simpsonizer thing? The one I did was piece-by-piece manual (hence the green lips).

yeah, i did it all manual, too.

http://simpsonizeme.com/

I don't have a photo with high enough resolution on this machine.

Mine was automatic, but they had options to revise stuff piece-by-piece aftewards. I didn't change anything though.

yeah, that's the one

I tried putting this one into it, but no dice.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/232/521904112_5c0365d2ca.jpg

Eazy - i'm interested, altho i don't have much grant writing experience ... but how hard can it be? i'll take some info

I did mine by scanning a photo. I tried customizing one first, but I think the camera don't lie.

Deej - send me an e-mail, or get my address from Jaymc.

I want a Dave and Busters FAP. Getting drunk and playing video games and skeet ball, I can't think of anything more enjoyable.

mattttt had a birthday party there a while back. It was fun, but there were too many little kids around getting the games all greasy.

I'd go back, because I still have one of their cards with some game credits on it.

LOVE skeet ball

Do they have good girlie drinks?? If so, maybe I should have my birthday party there. Oh, xpost.

Yes, they do. Answered my own question.

skeet ball

Ew.

I like the basketball shoot too. Much more enjoyable drunk.

and the race games that vibrate.

http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/895/yourimageyy6.png

looooooooooooool

skeet skeet

"My name is Otto, and I like to get blotto!"

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1241/998809230_94ca5be73d_o.png

Heh, both of you!

That Simpson might have been accurate in 2003. I think in the photo I submitted, my hair blended into some tree branches.

aw. The simpsonizer keeps telling me to come back later. :(

It's because I'm jamming the place up trying to simpsonize my family.

See?

hm. I figured it out. It won't work on Firefox for Mac.

Commission based grantwriting?! For shame on that non-profit!
xpost

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/your_image.png

huh.

*shrug*

not Proops-y enough

Heh, your earlier one is much closer, Kenan.

Sisut, I don't know if they'd say "commission", but that's what it sounded like to me.

I like Sarah's photo of Jeff and Courtney at the c-hole tourney -- very athletic-looking!

I was admiring that photo as well.

Yeah, it was just my knee jerk reaction. Development professionals generally look askance at commission based grant work. Some argue that it's a clear cut ethical issue. But, at the very least, the grant writer runs the risk of getting paid absolutely nothing for their labor if the proposal isn't funded. Given that the reasons for not funding could be exclusively tied to the organization's performance and 100% out of the writer's control, it just doesn't seem very fair.

It's a mad house over here!! I think Laura Bush is dropping soon b/c the place is swarming with ginormous helicopters.

Is she going to do a free-fall from a helicopter?

It's doubtful John. Very doubtful.

I did another simpson of me based on a wedding photo:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1218/999695092_ef640692d2_o.png

Pretty!

I want to do another one where from the day I did the triathlon but it's super busy.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1025/866795741_74aae6302e.jpg?v=0

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1431/867646464_75b38fd44a.jpg?v=0

ha! I love that one!

You know what's weird? When you're driving west down Division, and you cross over into Oak Park, and the street numbers change (starting over at 0 I think), but then you cross over into River Forest, and the numbers change back to correspond to Chicago street numbering (eg Dominican U is at 7900 W. Division). It's like Oak Park thinks they are too good for the Chicago numbering system.

Now I'm going to go get an iced coffee and a cookie and read the Reader at Letizia's. Bye.

MBN

Good letter from Abraham of Baby Teeth in this week's Reader re: Miles R.'s P-fork review.

Good review of Br1ght0n MA from Miles as well.

Hey John, don't you think that first simpsons of me looks a bit like d1 su3ss?

Ha, maybe. Needs lower neckline, though.

and larger tots.

sweet tater tots

ha!

Friday afternoon, time to talk tots.

OH HELL YEAH

http://images.gfxartist.com/images/ArtworkItem/image/92075.jpg

actually, i was just going to say that I think leaf & I are going to see the b0urne ultimatum tonight. matt dam0n has some nice man tots?

first hit on gis for "man tots"

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/105/366547103_9ce4a6018d.jpg

It's not what I had in mind.

That Gentlemens Quarterly that had the advice about Horatio Sanz and tucking in also had a profile of Matt Damon that made me like the guy. It's funny how that magazine puts actors on the cover who clearly hate to be interviewed and refuse to talk about their personal life, and then the profiles end up being about trying to get these guys to open up, and they don't. But Damon has a great line when he says that if the news is going to cover the price of a John Edwards haircut, they should cover the price of Bush's flight suit, too.

x - haha, drunkthelete.com

I am ALSO going to see Matt Damon's mantots tonight.

I get the impression that matt dam0n is a decent guy.

I'd probably rather go out drinking with him than Affleck. He might be boring, but Affleck would be obnoxious and probably ignore you while getting the phone #'s of all the girls you want to talk to.

I've heard good things about the movie! I'm excited what with the mantots and all...

i think you're right about the beers. although, matt might be the guy who sits back & just lets the ladies come to him. his wife is very hot.

He talks in that profile about how Affleck learned the hard way about the perils of overpublicity, and how if people know a lot about your personal life it's going to distract the audience from seeing you as a character in a story. It's as if they were equally strong actors with different personalities at the time of Good Will Hunting, and then they took very different routes not in the movies they chose but in the way they publicized themselves outside of those movies.

Affleck must've had a hard time watching The Departed. Boston movie without him.

He might be boring, but Affleck would be obnoxious make me want to beat him to death on sight

fixed

if people know a lot about your personal life it's going to distract the audience from seeing you as a character in a story

that's sooooo generous, though. Affleck has done a very poor job of managing his career apart from his personal life as well.

i can't believe i have two hours left of work today. these days are draggin' on & on.

I was trying to remember what movie I saw where he did a decent job in a small role, and then I realized it was Smokin' Aces, so never mind.

(reposted from another board b/c you reminded me and because it made me laugh)

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/08/03/bournesupremacy_wideweb__430x279.jpg

I'm going to fucking wreck you! That's to all the weak ass bitches. Sure I forgot who the fuck I am and people are trying to kill me and I'm not 100% sure why, but that doesn't mean I won't put a pen through your fucking hand or pound a book into your trach Vic Mackey style. Sometimes I get confused or have episodes. Then I start speaking in foreign languages I didn't even know I knew how to speak. Then there's time for fucking people up again.

Oh so you got a car now? Fuck that shit. I'll ride a moped and still fucking wreck you. You think you can stop me? You can't even contain me. Try to shoot me. I dare you. I'll make you miss and then jump out the window in shame. Fuck that, in fear. The moment you realize you fucked with Jason Bourne is the moment you jump out a window because you don't want to get fucked up by me. Thats right bitch.

See my movie.

bourne otm

This is good, from Hopper's blog - Stevie Wonder doing "Superstitious" on Sesame Street:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul7X5js1vE

i misread that as "hooper" as in "Mr. Hooper" and then I remembered that he died.

poor ol Mr. Hooper

Speaking of Hopper...

The only thing everybody at Lollapalooza has in common is the willingness to be painfully gouged for a ticket. Even crowds that might seem a bit more like-minded (at Pitchfork, para ejemplo) make for a grim and dystopian scene

... no one at the Reader knows Spanish well enough to change that to "por ejemplo"?

also, that is a jammin version of superstition

Yeah, I love that clip.

LOL they speed up like a motherfucker by the end

where is jeff beck?

Has anyone been to the Great Taste of the Midwest Beer Festival in Madison? I may be performing there next weekend....although I'm not sure the guy fully comprehends our show. I mean, from what I know, small children are at this festival.

Yeah, my band plays there every year. :>

What is your show? I don't see many kids there, just wasted parents.

ps it's a great time

Burlesque...that's why I'm confused. At least one of the other dancers and I are game for the gig, but we need to find out details. We can definitely modify to make it more family friendly, but it's still gonna be burlesque.

family-friendly burlesque is an oxymoron, no? Or at least not much fun. :(

The group does have some numbers that are straight up dance numbers, no clothing whatsoever removed, and a couple of us sing. But since several of the other dancers are unavailable next weekend, this would probably be strictly solos.

Hmmm, it's basically a bunch of drunk Midwesterners drinking unlimited beer in a sunny park during the day. Maybe it would be weird, but there's a pretty great vibe there, so I could see it working out fine.

(the website says kids are allowed btw)

What kid wouldn't love watching some pole dancing and "Pour Some Sugar On Me" with a corn dog and some fries?

that's not burlesque, either!

ISN'T IT

hahahaha that's straight up stripping

It depends on how the corn dog & fries are used.

that's not burlesque, either!

Tell that to Amber, Angel, Montana, and Quinn.

...

oh, you said Quinn.

the name Montana still instantly makes me thing of Montana Wildhack from Slaughterhouse 5.

hahahaha

not Hannah Montana?

you know me better than that.

Take it to the Teenpop thread.

hey i only sorta learned who this hannah montana is but apparently she's huge! there are even s1mplicity patterns with her name on them!

DID YOU KNOW: she's Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter?

That I did know!

and she's disney's pawn, no?

I don't know who you people are talking about.

I'm trying to wean myself from "cheating" on crossword puzzles, but it's not going very well. I can only seem to complete one w/heavy internet assistance. :(

there are support groups for cheaters like you.

http://www.playmerchandise.com/images/Cheaters_Program.jpg

xxpost Yep.

We are talking about Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray's 14-year-old daughter, who appears on a Disney Channel TV show called Hannah Montana in which she plays a girl named Miley Stewart who performs as a pop singer named Hannah Montana. In real life, Miley Cyrus skips the middleman and performs and releases albums as Hannah Montana. Shit's huge among the tweener crowd. And certain ILXors.

I do crossword puzzles on the train, mostly, so I can't cheat.

But don't you ever get stuck and frustrated?

http://www.zonereality.tv/src/features/joey_greco.jpg

Of course I do. Then I just have to concentrate harder. Or ask Kr for help when I get home.

OMG! It's a Joey Greco BOBBLE HEAD!
http://a201.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01191/00/22/1191472200_s.jpg

The Joey" - 'Tiny J' Honesty Enhancing Infidelity Deterrent! Virtually guaranteed to extinguish any inappropriate amorous interaction instantly! Sensing suspicious behavior? A few too many late nights at the office? No Problem! Put Tiny J on the job to keep an eye on him. Frequently traveling on business and your boyfriend spending an "uncomfortable" amount of time with your roommate? No worries! One glance from Tiny J will keep everyone in line! At approximately 7" tall, this cold cast ceramic bobble head is made with the finest craftsmanship and detail. * Any guarantees implied, are not actual guarantees, but suggestions of how the powerful gaze of Tiny J may be effective when stategically placed. ** Will also withstand minor blows to the head.

I don't know who Joey Greco is, but I'm sort of weirded out now by the fact that you sometimes call me Lil' J.

http://www.oneacross.com is too tempting

host of cheaters, dude!

also: er1c & sarah had their baby.

why that is google-proofed, I do not know.

We meant to tell you guys earlier. Sorry, Nick.

Eazy and Sarah Jammerman had a baby?!

xpost

Yeah, I like the name! Although I don't know if it is pronounced with an E sound or an I sound. Also, I had a dream last night that we were hanging out with the baby in Cr1ss3y 6 and K3rry wouldn't shut up about The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

It can be playmates with mine and 3van's kid.

I'm going to go post that on their blog now.

I just emailed eric to congratulate him & ask for tips on how to pronounce it. That is a HILARIOUS dream, dude!

I know, right? Like I said on the blog: "...he kept interjecting to talk about how everything we were doing and saying would've been scripted if it were a "Fresh Prince" episode."

it's pronounced with a hard E. So, K-eye-lee

You mean a hard I.

Yes. i is tired.

It's like Ms. Minogue, essentially. Not what I expected, either! I thought "ie" would be pronounced as in "believe" instead of as in "cried."

that kid is nothin' but last names. apparently it's eric's mom's maiden name.

K!3ly is not in the top 1000 names for any year of birth in the last 150 years.

shocka.

"K!3ly" pronounced like Minogue means your parents are bad spellers. That's embarrassing.

kienan

that would be more correct, yes

I don't think it's bad spelling if it's the kid's grandma's maiden name! Still, I do think she'll be subject to having her name mispronounced for most of her life.

yeah, i guess it's nobody's fault.

Sounds like great-grandpa's fault if you ask me.

For not changing the spelling of his last name?

Oh, it's his last name? I thought it was the first. Then it's the fault of the gatekeepers at Ellis Island for not Americanizing their name so that the kid in 2012 kindergarten won't have a hard time.

What a day.

Blackberry's really do drive me crazy.

It's like Oak Park thinks they are too good for the Chicago numbering system.

actually nick this dates back to before chicago had annexed the village of austin (now the austin neighborhood, but previously it's own town) to when the city limits were miles to the east. a lot of western burbs changed their numbering systems when chicago began annexing surrounding locales, oak park did not wish to be annexed and never changed. you may also notice that division is the 800N block in oak park as well as they use lake st. as the dividing point for north and south.

I r bored on a weekend nite again. I think I'm going to go to Sm.Bar in a while if anyone's interested.

I had a fancy wristband to go to a priv party at the Hideout with T. Leo and the main Spoon guy DJ-ing but did not go, nor did I go to The Go, but I saw Sicko (v. good) and talked with good friends.

Kevin, is this your stuff?

Spoon guy is a notorious dick, anyway.

but BOY did he make a good album this yr

I had to wake my neighbor up this morning because I locked my keys in the laundry room. I really hope this is the dumbest thing I do all day.

early disagrees with me

I like this "M.I.A."

drunkathlete.com is full of yum-yum.

I mean seriously! Does this get you all het up or what??

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1095/562565562_a222b3e1d5.jpg?v=0

I just saw the Sonic commercial featuring S@yj@l, I think.

I want to see it.

The first one she did was something about mini-sundaes. I don't know what the second one was.

i am strangely "angry" about the "use" of "quotations" in this "craigslist" "ad":

$800 / 2br - UKRAINIAN VILLAGE 'VINTAGE'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: see below
Date: 2007-08-05, 5:35PM CDT

UKRAINIAN VILLAGE 'VINTAGE': Ideal for artists, designers, law school students needing sunny
4-rooms, 2-bedrooms, large eat-in kitchen,
private brick balcony, new rear porch+yard, ornate woodwork plus.---$800-850.

Also AVAILABLE 'NOW':
4-rooms, 1-bedroom w/formal dining room + large eat-in kitchen.---$700-800.
6-rooms, 3-bedrooms, 2-full baths. 1500sf.---$1200-1400.

SUPERIOR ST.-East of WESTERN AVE.
4-1/2rooms, 2-1/2bedrooms--Available "August 15/September 1"--$850-950.

Each apt. 'Tenant' heated. Lease+security. 'WALK' to METRA TRAIN.
Phone:--773-545-0505--to 'view' apartment--appts to 'schedule' August 5 -or-'after' August 8th--

Location: CHICAGO & WESTERN AVE.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

OK, I can get that someone might use quotes for "emphasis" (I can't remember if italics or boldface are options on Craigslist--even if they aren't, you still have CAPS) for key words like "vintage" and "now," but why "view" or "schedule"??

Each apt. 'Tenant' heated. Lease+security. 'WALK' to METRA TRAIN.
Phone:--773-545-0505--to 'view' apartment--appts to 'schedule' August 5 -or-'after' August 8th--

"walk" to metra, like there is a large contingent in the neighborhood who do summersaults down western to the train or something. "view" the apartment seems to indicate you really won't see it, maybe they'll just drive by the place with you and slow down. "schedule" perhaps means they won't really show up and the nudge and wink implied by "after" august 8th says to me that there still may be tenants residing there when you move in.

Even the "vintage" is scary.

"vintage" = decrepit in my experience.

this weather is fucking miserable

Chicago's "cozy" summertime weather.

I dreamed that I went back in time and was hanging out with Prince when he was in high school. He was lookin pretty greasy back then, in case you didn't know.

"Good" Morning.

I posted an ad for a bass on craigslist and I might actually sell it tonight, which means I won't go in the red before payday. WOO HA.

:(

That sucks. I feel that, though.

Wait. What sucks? I WON'T Go into the red. This is GOOD.

Is it the big heavy bass?

Oh, I thought it was bad news to sell a guitar.

You've got another bass, right?

Yep, Jordan.

It IS a pretty bass, but it's too heavy for me anyway. PLUS, Nick has the exact same bass in a different color, so it's kind of silly that we have both anyway. If I didn't need the money, I would keep it I suppose, but it's not like I'm selling my pink SG or anything.

Yeah, Nick's got a bass and I've got the sparkly one.

Anyone else who liked McLusky should really check out Future of the Left. It is the new band that has the singer and drummer from McLusky, and it is really awesome. Sounds a lot like McLusky, but maybe slightly poppier? Really really good.

It would not be a "good" morning otherwise.
I'd have to be REALLY bad off to sell my sparkly bass.

Nick, I put that on my ipod this morning but then couldn't remember what they were called so I couldn't find it when I was browsing the artists. THE DUMBEST!!!

Listening to Le Show this morning on the way to work, and KCRW left the pledge drive in there for the podcast. All of it. So, literally half the show was gone. Not that I can listen to Harry Shearer drone on forever, and GOD the comedy bits are so so bad, but he does read news I might otherwise have missed. I like it when he reads the trades. Anyway, no show this week, just a pledge drive. :(

Nick: hot tip. Thanks.

There are a few songs on the myspace page, to which I linked.

J0dy and Ben from the Sharks are writing/recording some stuff, I think they'll have it on MySpace soon. Nueva reborn.

WOO HOO!

I'm editing a quarerly report from Bennetton, and somehow they made €990 million in the past quarter. They must be on every block in Europe and Asia, 'cause they can't be making too much here.

This is going to be hell week. As in, hot as. Humidity around 80-90%, thunderstorms that will only make things more humid, and a heat index that may actually be a useful indicator, since it'll be more than 10 degrees over the actual temperature, from which I can glean that it will be sweat soup out there. After that, I think it's all downhill. I hope. If I didn't have AC right now, I don't believe I could have stayed in my apartment last night.

bitch bitch bitch

Sweet. I wouldn't mind doing some recording/playing with other people, just for fun, but I don't know when I would find the time to do so. I guess you have to "make time" for projects.

I might have a country gig this week! It depends on if Ev4n wins his ultimate frisbee game. :>

If I do it, I have to buy one flannel shirt?

Might be a bit hot for that, Jordan. How about overalls?

I might have a country gig this week! It depends on if Ev4n wins his ultimate frisbee game.

A bet's a bet, bro. You lose, and it's two sets with Tennessee Pride for you.

ha

Shirtless w/overalls is basically a good look for anyone.

no

Next time you come to town, I will prove this to you.

We should all do shirtless overalls and go sing karaoke.

Shirtless with overalls=my 2nd to last LTR.

i don't know that you even have to be shirtless for it to be very bad. Overalls are enough.

You mean he would rock that look, or that it's a metaphor for your relationship?

(btw guys, I am aware that it is a horrible look, nothing goes with overalls)

HA! "Our love was like the Joad family, traveling through the dust, destitute and hungry and none too bright."

*sniff*

The guy who used to own/run the l0ring cafe in Minneapolis was tall and skinny, and he would often wear overalls and pretty clerly nothing else underneath.

I'm surprised, kind of, that with all the high-end denim in the past few years that I haven't seen any high-end overalls.

http://di1.shopping.com/images/di/54/59/54/41326559614a416b43504d5f6a424a776b3867-150x188-0-0.jpg

Diesel overalls

Wait, that's gotta be two pieces.

that is clearly a denim vest for women

http://www.casualmale.com/store/en_US/images/thumbnail/p81939b.jpg

Chino overalls for casual Friday. $103.00!!

Pardon the multiple posts, but I'd like to see a pink golf shirt with those beige overalls.

you are ill

but i forget, you're a black man with pink hair, so your tastes may be skewed

also, it's possible I lack imagination. I'm wearing black from head to foot today... again.

http://www.dexys.org/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/come_on_eileen.jpg

http://www.badcasserole.com/pink_hair.jpg

I am happy to have discovered the key to coffee creamer at work. All we officially have is non-dairy awfulness, which I can't stand, and really no one can. If you bring milk and leave it in the fridge, people will pilfer it, and I can't even say that I blame them, so foul is Coffee Mate. BUT. If you bring say milk, no one touches it, and it never goes bad. Et voila.

SOY milk, i meant

I don't know that soy milk goes bad in the same way that cow's milk does, but after about a week, it starts to get clumpy at the bottom of the carton.

He actually wore that. I am not ready for analogies, but I'm sure there's some way you could make one between our relationship and the shirtless-w/-overalls look.

I had a bottle that I drank soy milk from and then left out for in the hot kitchen. When I opened it didn't smell like rotten cow's milk, but, buddies, it was RANK.

Hahahahahaah I said "but buddies."

Ok, i don't know about never goes bad. But it lasts much much longer. In the grocery store, it's not even refrigerated, so... yeah. Jaymc, I think the clumping could be simply settling, and can be fixed with a vigorous shake, no?

http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060807/060807_overalls_vmed_1p.widec.jpg

Nieman Marcus and Urban Outfitters are advertising this kind of thing as "overalls" but those are just jeans with suspenders. Somebody busty in the early 90s, maybe Jenny McCarthy, wore this kind of thing.

wayyyy too tight to get any farm work done in

I rocked some Oshkoshbig0shes when I was a toddler.

http://www.traumaflintstone.com/Images/Gallery/Overalls.jpg

happy trails to you

I used to have a pair of those Carhartt bibs, but they were black. They were so tough that if you wore them shirtless they'd probably abrade your nips off.

xpost ughhhhh

http://www.abstracthiphop.com/hip-hop-honeys/christine_mendoza_overalls.jpg

um... hot? I just don't know anymore.

great time to turn images off again

I was going to say earlier, gals can pull off the shirtless+overalls very well.

This is a given.

yeah but it's still overalls! So torn.

Daisy Duke is not a good look, I don't care what underneath.

http://www.ironarmyclothing.com/Images/Blog/tommy_lee_450.jpg

Work-use aside, overalls work for folks like Tommy Lee who basically just want to put on and take off a single piece of clothing.

the argument could be made that for him, that's also work use

what does his underwear say?

One time back in Richmond I went to meet this potential drummer who responded to an ad of mine, and his girlfriend met me at the door donning that overalls with nothing underneath look. It was NOT GOOD.

http://rocknrolluniverse.com/rocknrolluniverse395002.jpg

Forgot about Buddy Guy. That Dexy's cover is nice.

classy

I know no one really cares about Mclusky/Future of the Left, but I just want to point out that dude is one of the best song titlers around. His greatest hits, as far as song titles are concerned:
Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues
My Gymnastic Past
Suddenly It's a Folk Song
Adeadenemyalwayssmellsgood
Collagen Rock
The World Loves Us and Is Our Bitch
No New Wave No Fun
Without MSG I Am Nothing

Bonus for all three Mclusky album names:
My Pain and Sadness Is More Sad and Painful Than Yours
Mclusky Do Dallas
The Difference Between Me and You Is That I'm Not on Fire

You know I care!!!

http://www.arbybean.com/images/music/Pink%20Floyd%20-%20Wish%20You%20Were%20Here.jpg

Those are good titles.

"This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race"
"I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me + You)"
"I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)"
"You're Crashing, But You're No Wave"
"I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers"
"7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)"
"Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year"
"Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends"
"I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written about Me"
"A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More 'Touch Me'"
"Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows)"
"The Carpal Tunnel of Love"

the other ones are better

because they have nothing to do with Fall Out Boy

1. Introduction – 0:38
2. The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage – 2:56
3. London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines – 3:26
4. Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks – 3:26
5. Camisado – 3:14
6. Time to Dance – 3:24
7. Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off – 3:23
8. Intermission – 2:38
9. But It's Better If You Do – 3:28
10. I Write Sins Not Tragedies – 3:08
11. I Constantly Thank God for Esteban – 3:33
12. There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet – 3:19
13. Build God, Then We'll Talk – 3:43
14. I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Live In Denver) (Japanese Bonus track) – 3:46

The Fall Out Boy one is A+!

Those are all Fall Out Boy titles in that post, from their last two albums. The second post is the Panic! At the Disco album.

"Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends" is good. And the McClusky ones.

The Difference Between Me and You Is That I'm Not on Fire

^^ my favorite one. So odd, so dry, so funny.

also "Suddenly It's a Folk Song"

like, WHOA, FOLK!

1. Fire Back About Your New Baby's Sex
2. The Peter Criss Jazz
3. Haven't Lived Afro Pop
4. You Drink A Lot Of Coffee For A Teenager
5. Ones All Over The Place
6. I Never Liked You
7. Details On How To Get ICEMAN On Your License Plate
8. A Lot Of People Tell Me I Have A Fake British Accent
9. Let's Face It Pal, You Didn't Need That Eye Surgery

Right When the Jugs Come on
I'm so wasted in my white Reboks
Man, Fuck my mouth
Upper thigh, Upper thigh, Lower puss
A Shiny Piece of Skin-Dick
Your Music Makes My Girlfriend Horny
I Lost My Leg in The War and All I Got was This Stupid Muppet Foot
The Name of the Pie is French Chocolate Silk and the name of the band is säh

The Difference Between Me and You Is That I'm Not on Fire

It sounds like a one-liner from a Bruce Willis movie.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Difference_Between_Me_and_You_Is_That_I'm_Not_on_Fire

"Some have suggested the album's title is a reference to the artwork of the Pink Floyd album "Wish You Were Here"."

Yep. Obv first thing I thought of.

1. Take Wes Chandler For Instance
2. You & Mattel Vs Me & Coleco
3. Who Is Your Midwest Representation?
4. November
5. The Invasion Has Become
6. A Waltz For The Few Remaining
7. Homage Ritchie Valens
8. Acknowledge The Ascot
9. Koala Bear Wearing A T-Shirt With Your Corporate Logo
10. Buffalo '98
11. Long Live Rock & Roll

1. "Story of the Whole Thing" – 4:58
2. "Dad, There's a Little Phrase Called Too Much Information" – 7:30
3. "This Bum's Paid" – 5:04
4. "Hair Dude, You're Stepping on My Mystique" – 4:20
5. "The L Train Is a Swell Train and I Don't Want to Hear You Indies Complain" – 12:19
6. ""My Two Nads" (Dad Reprise)" – 4:43

every Don Cab song title

also, Minus the Bear

This is why the "Spam subject or math rock song title?" thread was so good.

"The L Train Is a Swell Train and I Don't Want to Hear You Indies Complain"

ha, love this one, and think of it every time someone mentions the L train

Btw the tracklist I posted is a Happy Apple album. Title from their new album: "Calgon for Hetfield"

1. "Grown Men Don't Fall in the River, Just Like That" – 3:03
2. "Mr. Your on Fire Mr." – 2:27
3. "Loose Nuts on the Veladrome" – 2:19
4. "The Garden Was Crowded and Outside" – 2:44
5. "Tumbling Walls Buried Me in the Debris With Esg" – 4:05 (vocal cover of a ESG song)
6. "Nothing Is Ever Lost or Can Be Lost My Science Friend" – 3:03
7. "We Live NE of Compton" – 3:01
8. "Why Midnight Walked But Didn't Ring Her Bell" – 0:51
9. "This Dust Makes That Mud" – 30:07

There was a poll of Don Caballero song names on the Noise Board and it was literally impossible to pick one.

"Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends" is pretty funny.

Best Don Caballero Song Title (note: SONG TITLE ONL

"Puddin' in My Eye" got 0 votes.

Fucking's Greatest Hits
Burn, Piano Island, Burn
God Bless You, Blood Thirsty Zeppelins
Trash Flavored Trash
Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck
Rats and Rats and Rats For Candy
My First Kiss At the Public Execution

1. Jack Kevorkian Is Cool
2. Valujet
3. You've Got No Friends
4. You Keep A Diary
5. You Own A Store
6. You Got Date Raped
7. Recycling Is Gay
8. You're A Cop
9. You Can't Shut Up
10. You've Got Cancer
11. We Just Disagree
12. Hungry Hungry Hippos
13. You Are An Interior Decorator
14. Pottery's Gay
15. Rich Goyette Is Gay
16. Branscombe Richmond
17. You Live In Allston
18. You Are A Food Critic
19. Just The Two Of Us (Duet With Hillary Logee)
20. Your Band's In The Cut-Out Bin
21. You're Gay
22. You Look Adopted
23. Your Cousin Is George Lynch
24. You Have Goals
25. You Drive An IROC
26. You Play On A Softball Team
27. Because You're Old
28. You Sell Cologne
29. Being A Cobbler Is Dumb
30. You Live In A Houseboat
31. Richard Butler
32. 311 Sucks
33. Your Kid Is Deformed
34. You Are An Orphan
35. You're Old (Fuck You)
36. You Go To Art School
37. Your Best Friend Is You
38. You're In A Coma
39. Windchimes Are Gay
40. No, We Don't Want To Do A Split Seven Inch With Your Stupid Fucking Band
41. René Auberjonois
42. The Internet Is Gay
43. Ha Ha, Your Wife Left You
44. Hootie And The Blowfish
45. You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You're Gay)
46. Locking Drop Dead In McDonalds
47. Technology's Gay
48. Your Favorite Band Is Supertramp
49. I'm In A.C.
50. You (Fill In The Blank)
51. Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache
52. Bonus Track #3

311 Sucks is the best song they ever wrote.

I have never heard an actual AC song.

After reading the titles, you pretty much have.

I think Anal Cunt is a band that exists solely to be "cleverly" name-checked on ILM.

I can't decide if reading a huge list of AC song titles like that makes them seem more awesome, or if they detract from the individual genius of each song title. Like, just having a song called "Your Best Friend Is You" or "Being A Cobbler Is Dumb" is pretty awesome. But reading a whole list of the song titles shows your their consistency in song-titling, which is another important factor.

I played them, more than once, on my college radio show. I even went to one of their shows, where the singer threw a cinder block into the audience and tried to pick a fight with a homeless guy. They're assholes!

No, they exist so rebellious high schoolers can buy albums by a band named Anal Cunt.

Also their album Picnic of Love is one of the stupidest/weirdest things ever.

xp: Jordan OTM. And because someone gave them money to make shitty records.

Like, just having a song called "Your Best Friend Is You" or "Being A Cobbler Is Dumb" is pretty awesome.

yeah, but where does "You're Gay" fall on that spectrum? So dumb it's awesome or just droolingly witless?

Oh. I had never heard of them until they were "cleverly" name-checked on like every other thread on ILM, regardless of topic.

A friend of mine in high school had an AC-inspired grindcore band. I think it was called F4d3d Mem0ries and one of the hits was Millions of Corpses, to the tune of "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United States of America.

There was a joke militant vegan hardcore band on the W&M campus for a while, I can't remember what they were called but their hit was called "That's Not Vegan" and they had another song about the importance of rescuing animal POWs.

I just looked up my dad on ratemyprofessors.com. The most recent comment: "He's a long-winded man." LOL.

Dan's dad: "Very cool professor, the kind of crazy old guy who has a crap ton of stories about his past archeology digs."

Oh no, now I'm going to start looking up professors I had in college who are still teaching.

This guy is a Mailer-esque tough guy (wrote Eddie and the Cruisers) and I liked him.

This guy is absolutely brilliant and scary.

This guy was easily the worst professor I had, but he's been editing a major literary journal for about 15 years now.

Yeah, I just spent the last 10 minutes looking up all my old professors at K.

(The comments for D4v1d Lynn are pretty hilarious, E.)

I can't find any of my profs! The few whose names I remember are not listed. And searching by other criteris does not help, because there are 934 profs listed for my school.

Oh man, its hilarious to read the comments from sophomore year (i.e. the weed out year) architecture students about the professors at U of I. They hate ALL of them.

(The comments for D4v1d Lynn are pretty hilarious, E.)

Oh, he's terrible. Better to tell stories in person than here.

I never had any English lit classes at KC, so I only know those profs by name rather than my own experience.

Also, no one beats BOB POLLARD for song titles/band names. The Suitcase/Briefcase box sets all have fake band names as well as the required song titles. That's the kind of commitment I admire.

For completeness' sake, my mother: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=381445

Typical of the kind of asshole students she gets, they got her department wrong. She teaches in the same one as my dad.

Yeah, I wasn't sure if that was her because I didn't think she was a writing prof.

My favorite favorite favorite prof EVER: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=527498

I love the complaints about her. Pretty much anyone who complains about her marks themselves as an obvious screw-off because she demands hard work and is incredibly fair.

very biast toward opposing economic opinions.

this person should have jaymc's dad check his spelling.

I'm not on there. Haha.

The only professor I really liked in college has mostly horrible reviews, like this:

'Quite possibly one of the worst professors I've ever had. I went to every boring lecture, but hardly saw the point in going. Each one was merely a study in closing reading of the texts. I learned next to nothing about American literature and almost none of the reading list was the traditional canon.'

I'm pretty sure I added one of the few + ones on there.

also, check me if I'm wrong, Dan, but does "very biast toward opposing economic opinions" mean that she doesn't like students who spout off discredited right-wing batshit economics?

xp - to clarify, my school is there, but there are no "professors" listed.

xp Yeah, pretty much. The main problem is that she teaches a lot of intro and "core" classes so they're pretty big and filled with a lot of asshole freshmen. That and she's never been one to be afraid of challenging people's deeply held beliefs. In her more anthro- classes, she's constantly getting shit from conservative types who don't want to hear about evolutionary concepts and the like.

My favorite professor isn't listed. I wonder if he retired, he was pretty old.

This guy is pretty awesome and now teaches at DePaul: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=452759

hooray dan's mom!

Found him, he was listed in the wrong place: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=245714

My ex, even though she's not actually a professor: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=940653

This guy was the notorious W&M hard-grader, though I thought he was awesome and fair: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=78968

"He is a nice man....but that doesn't give him any right to say that if Jesus Christ took his class, he'd get a B."

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I found an ex on rmyprof (from high school) a while ago and these are some of the reviews:

* If he wasn't married, I would marry him in a second.
* ...Oh and although this isn't important to why I ranked him high...yes...he is HOT!
* Todd is so cute. If he didn't have a wife... the things I would do.
* He is so freakin' cute, and he is really funny.
* I adore Todd.
* He is funny, intelligent, nice, and really hot!
* He is really cute but an amazing professor.
* I LOVE TODD! ...Also,Todd is hot, and as we learned in his class I can say that without it being offensive because he's a dude.
* this guy is so hot... i love how he makes everything so interesting. it's so easy to learn when you're staring at his cute face. i love his class. believe me girls, his class is so worth it!
* BONUS, his personality and looks make him very "spongeworthy".
* Hilarious, Intelligent, Nice, and HOT!!!! If Todd were not married I would pursue him until the end of time!
* it's like having a really hot friend teach an interesting class.
* He's sweet, HOT and very good at teaching.

HA!

He totally sleeps with his students, amirite?

what are you trying to tell us?

He was cute, but broke up with me because I was not that type of girl. I'm guessing by the reviews that he got over his acne problem.

I often find myself starring at her during class causing me not able to retain the information. The class is not hard and you really don't have to read the book.
1/19/07 ENG1101 2 5 3 2 She explains everything in detail, easy on the eyes to

lololol

(way to go, Dan)

I looked up one professor that I expected to have comments like the ones Sarah posted, but no luck. There was this, though:

He pronounces the word 'waterproof' in such an unexpected yet fascinatingly liquid-like intonality, placing the stress on "wa" and drowning the rest as a frenchman would, perhaps (perhaps) a note that reveals his strong and insatiable desire for cigars and the consumption of copious amounts of caffeine.

Oh wow, Katie's dad got TORE UP: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=194928

http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive/PBF226-Preserves.jpg

My hot Southern Lit prof got a chili pepper http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=368696

That comic rules.

Wait. That comic doesn't make sense--the "POP" happens when the seal breaks, so she was a virginal jelly.

Yeah, that was my thought, too.

It's like in Far Side comics when they do a "objects in mirror may appear closer than they actually are" gag--no car mirror actually says that.

^^^bullshit

"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear"

right, which is just the opposite

there are always comics that have a big giant bug in the mirror, frightening the passenger, and the sign says, "objects in mirror may appear closer than they are."

The top pops the first time the jar is opened, so the PB had her virginity.

in reality, the mirror is made for a wider field of vision, so the objects appear smaller than they are, not larger

You're misquoting the Far Side.

I don't want to get in a deep discussion about the Far Side on the internet, but if I'm misquoting it, then what would the visual joke be?

The one I remember is a guy looking in the mirror (that says "objects in mirror are closer than they appear") and it's just a huge fucking eyeball in the mirror.

I agree it is pretty dumb to argue about it, sry.

No, he tests her button when he takes off the veil, and it pops. You know, like when it's sealed then the button is stiff, but after you take it off you can press on it and make annoying popping sounds?

http://photos16.flickr.com/21314765_a6b00ae99a_m.jpg

JORDAN OTM

I think we've just ruined all jokes through over-explanation.

Hmmmm...That could make sense I guess.

We're back at the whole "deconstruction of joke enhances joke" vs
"deconstruction of joke ruins joke" divide.

xpost.

"deconstruction of joke enhances joke" is a lie and a sham

It makes sense. It would just be funnier if tops actually said that.

we are not the first to debate the popping lid, unsurprisingly

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=177332

and i'm with jesse... the button pops when you break the seal, because you're breaking the vacuum inside, releasing the thin piece of metal from its "depressed" position. Sure you can pop it easily after that, but that's not the idea behind the lid.

what if two gallons of milk were about to do it and the dude found chocolate syrup around the rim of her lid

^_^

xp: but he's taking off the veil and in the process pushes the button and it pops = already been opened

yes but lids do not actually say that, and that is not the purpose of those lids, it's an ill-informed joke about lids, therefore a bit niggling and much less funny than if he'd done a little basic lid research

Oh, I get it. The peanut butter is not actually unscrewing (lol "screwing") the jelly's lid, he's just touching it.

Yes!

Kenan what kind of polluted grape jelly are you eating that does not have a lid that says that?

But I mean, those buttons on lids, they pop up when you open it, then its there. It wouldn't pop once he started boning her.

But then again, I am trying to analyze the mistakes in a cartoon about one jar ****ing another jar, so maybe I should go outside.
____________________________________________________________________________

Doesn't really make sense, sadly.

The pop means that it was fresh when you opened it.

Seriously, I can't BELIEVE some of the fucking conversations I have.

I see everyone's point here, but they seem to fail to see mine. Go look at a jelly jar lid.

chicago thread in sucking the funny out of a joke shockah!

I am not arguing about jelly on the internet.

also, as was pointed out elsewhere, this is at least the third time he's done the same joke

http://i14.tinypic.com/5060o4l.jpg

http://aycu25.webshots.com/image/24384/2005008085391678948_rs.jpg

OK I just went and looked at someone's jar of Smuckers in the fridge here, and it said "button will pop up when seal is broken".

Those are both great, though.

(also I would argue that the Cliff's Notes one is a different joke, if I argued about jokes on the internet)

right. otherwise it would be down. That's how you know if the seal is broken.

NeoGAF board member OTM: This comic might be terrible but all the people who are trying to troll it by saying it's "unclear" are reaching.

Huh. OK, I concede everything. Funniness of joke is RESTORED@!!!!!!

(I am going to go look at a jelly jar later.)

it's just as humid inside my apartment as it is outside. i want to die.

dude, i know how you feel. I have a relatively shady and cool apartment, but this humidity renders that particular feature null and void. Nothing to do but sit in front of a fan until time for bed, when I will retreat to the mercy of my air-conditioned bedroom.

it's the opposite of winter in every possible way. In winter, my hands shrivel and my lips crack my apartment is so dry.

Last summer my place was pretty much unlivible on 90+ days except with a fan directly on me, but earlier this summer our landlord let us know that in fact we have central air and that he just needed to throw a few switches...

Dan: and it's him bouncing up and down, nude, making his balls flap back and forth and hit him in the stomach and ass

goddamn you

haha...?

wtf

Jesse: it sounds like something i might think to do

haha?

i have to go to work now. have fun kids!

those are big floppy balls

Jesse, our gchat conversations are copyrighted material from now on. That is a very, very, VERY out of context quote that I can and will not even begin to explain right now.

That is a very, very, VERY out of context quote

so you weren't talking about some dude making his balls flap back and forth and hit him in the stomach and ass? Was it metaphorical?

ok fine

me: 4:08 PM did I tell you what he did when we went to the UP?
we stayed in a hotel room because I blew up my car
jesse: no
me: so in the morning we're showering and stuff, and I come out of the bathroom to this "clop clop clop clop" noise
jesse: um
me: and it's him bouncing up and down, nude, making his balls flap back and forth and hit him in the stomach and ass
4:09 PM not masturbating, not even touching himself, just making a stupid noise with his junk
jesse: standing?
haha
LOL
me: yeah
jesse: haha
i'm loling
me: he might have been jumping on the bed, I can't recall
jesse: i can't stop laughting out loud
in argo tea
me: because it's fucking hilarious
jesse: i know
me: and you didn't have to put it on ILX
this means war
jesse: haha
it's completely out of context
which makes it safe for you
and funny for me
4:12 PM me: SAFE FOR ME?
goddamn it
jesse: who will know
ok
me: great, amanda thinks I'm a crepe now
jesse: ta ta
me: you better straighten this out