who would u fuk?

Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.

go ILX system, you fine piece of meat.

ILX System, and I'd do it cold sober!

"fuk me" campaigns begin here. you have until september.

I think the top ten should all just fuck each other

I'm pretty glad I'm not an option.

UH HEY DUDE NO.
xpost

Holy hell, how did my name get in that list?!

Man I wish I had posted more. I love hot internet fukage (pronounced french, like fuh-KAHJ -- or alternatively japanese, like bukkake with an F -- perhaps this should be the next poll).

bukfkake?

That's totally not what I meant and you know it, you should be ashamed of yourself

bu-fucky

you can just guess what that's short for

how will I ever choose!??

you guys who are voting ILX System all realize you're just getting JW's sloppy seconds right

YUMZ

bu-fucky

-- kenan, Thursday, August 9, 2007 8:03 PM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

is that your snake's name?

yes. i drew lightning bolts on the sides.

BOSS. FUCKING BOSS SNAKE BRAH.

http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/cookin/images/bratwurst.jpg

What kind of pet snake do you have? My friend has the cutest orange corn snake that chilled in the hood of my jacket for a long time.

ALERT. DO NOT ALLOW KENANS SNAKE TO CHILL IN YOUR JACKET HOOD. ALERT.

HONGRO

Does this poll take hate fucks into account?

it doesn't specify against them

Where is Jessica H4rvell?

REDO POLL

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/marksausage.jpg

i deserve that, for making fun of yr snake

jesus fucking christ

!!!

Yep. Images off, yer my best pal.

that really looks like i've entered some weird german porn snuff brat film

no, it doesn't look like a particularly weird german porn snuff brat film.

oooh, I'm glad with this poll already, my name is right in between tehresa and Laurel

*homer simpson love growl*

</perv>

that sandwich is all about the bread

if you've already voted for yourself you can go home.

LOL I know (xpost)

this is really just headed in the wrong direction.

no, it doesn't look like a particularly weird german porn snuff brat film.

HA! No, it's the the standard old movie that's like "No! No more bratwurst! Oh the weltschmerz!" You know the drill.

too busy to post the past month = no unanticipated fuks for me :/

ILX ORGEE

http://blogs.indiewire.com/twhalliii/shortbus.jpg

no, it doesn't look like a particularly weird german porn snuff brat film.

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, August 9, 2007 8:19 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yr just jealous b/c u can't be in my weird german porn suff brat film

that is probably pretty accurate. xpost

is wanko voting for himself?

which one is the home one and which one is the shop one again, nathalie/stevienixed?

kenan = way creepier than ned, despite his protests to the contrary.

good thread, dude.

Scott is on ILX hiatus, so any fuks will have to be hand-delivered to his home.

I'm just bitter at Ned for snubbing me on Myspace.

lol, ned snubbed u?

totally! When ned isn't your myspace friend, you have to question your whole online life.

Vote for him, maybe that'll smooth things over.

Sausagefest.

Guess what, I voted for my wife.

too late, i voted for tombot

i voted for your wife too.

nude spock, guys

Sausagefest.

welcome 2 thee internets!

Guess what, I voted for my wife.

what happens when 10 other people do, too?

xpost HAHA exactly

I don't want to attend a keyswap party that I wasn't invited to.

http://imagecache.pixsy.com/03192007/4d/4d7b2d1f-d8a2-452c-80a8-f00d52092dd6.jpg

"You vote for my wife?"

Guess what, I voted for my wife.

so gay

This is a hard poll.

VOTE CHAKI IN WHO U FUK POLE! HELP ME WIN A TRIP TO MEXICO!

http://steelturman.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/22/prostitutes_and_taxes_in_germany.jpg

well this isn't inappropriate or anything

why did nude spock get so many entries?

you're inappropriate

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/875000/images/_879875_basilbrush_300.jpg
BOOM BOOM!

THIS IS ALL VERY WELL, BUT WHO WUD U MARRY?

still tombot

yeah, i'd marry him in a heartbeat

Yah I think based on previous comments I'd be the only one in the marrying kind poll.

and best of all, who would you kill?

myself. Just to get tombot's attention. WHY DON'T YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME ANYMORE? CAN'T YOU SEE I HAVE NEEDS?

The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

no matter what the outcome this poll guarantees creepy, awkward results

yes, but ANONYMOUS

there are hardly any british women on ilx now

aussies and kiwis are nice too, though

which one is the home one and which one is the shop one again, nathalie/stevienixed?

Nath is the one on the main computer in the shop, the stevienixed is the one I use at home or wherever I gotta log in. I rememeber my password for that one. Yes, I'm a bit mental. :-( Actually I am since I thought I had posted something about my two accounts... but apparently not. :-(

BTW the answer is myself of course.

I predict that a woman will win and feel horribly creeped out by the result.

ILX System is feeling very creeped out right now.

I predict a dude will win and few people will be concerned about the creepy factor

Creepier if a lady wins imo

I mean dude it's like "har har thanx sausage friends" and/or "see you at the gay thread later" but girls it's more like "hi dere i saw you on a WYLL thread and want to anonymously tell you where I want to put it"

it is because you are a dude

I started this poll a couple of days ago, when I thought 'dome' meant something dirty. But anyway I'd pretty much have sex with all this flickr whores and fat goths and noize babbies and senior citizens and Aja when legal.

it is because you are nude spock

I predict that I won't vote at all.

dome does mean something dirty.

I would (and hav) fuk(ed) me

Thanks, btw, kenan, for posting a poll with 100 options. Good job. Moron.

Are we 100% sure that fuk = fuck? Maybe kenan knows something we don't and we've all voted for something we don't understand...

this board needs some chastity training

i think we need a 'who would you awkwardly kiss' poll

I think I'm getting junior high slumber party vibes.

http://i13.tinypic.com/4plc9cn.gif

I predict that the number of males who don't get any votes and the number of votes for the winning female will be the same.

i predict that dr. morbius has a secret admirer <3<3<3

aussies and kiwis are nice too, though

-- kenan

thanks, dude.

i predict guys be freaked about creeping out the ile girls, so the top 5 will be men. it's the interwebs so i don't find this creepy at all. but i haven't got any action in a ridiculously long time so my creeped-out factor is pretty low :/.

[i'm aiming for the pity vote]

I'm worries this will be like Valentine's Day in elementary school and someone will be sad about getting no valentine cards. Except instead of a little card with a picture of Shaggy surrounded by hearts saying, "Zoinks! Have a swell Valentine's!" the message is a misspelled expression of vulgarity and impersonal, awkward nudesweat.

Guess what, I voted for my husband. I won't come after anybody with my jealous cat claws who also would in an imaginary internet world fuk skot. But before anybody "hand delivers" anything here, you'll have to get past me.

phew

i vote for skot to vote for rrobyn or Alfred.

thanks in advance to anyone who votes for me.

Now is everyone going to get all seductive to garner votes? The WDYLL thread is going to go all cheesecake.

Richard Wood Johnson, if only for the guarantee.

Beth, post a pic of yourself in an ill-fitting (skimpy) bathing suit eating cheesecake from a large smooth yellow rock whilst seated in your flower garden or in front of one of your paintings NOW. You are so going to win.

Okay. I'm going to campaign my heart out for this.

the fact that i'm in the top 100 posters is what's worrying me more than anything. i think i need to get off the webs and uh... do stuff or something. like maybe have sex with someone.

It'd be too obvious if I voted in this so I wont.

CRUTIS WILL WIN THIS 'GOING AWAY'

i vote for skot to vote for rrobyn or Alfred.
-- Maria :D

Yay!

Will anyone choo-choo-choose me?

i'm not even on this poll. i guess i need to post lots more and be more of a pain in the ass.

2 MORE MONTHS FYI

Has anyone NOT voted (and wished they could change their mind now Rubyredd is going for the pity vote) already?

go ILX system, you fine piece of meat.

Stay away from my inanimate piece of machinery, bitches.

curt1s 5tephens is dat hotness

xpost: Doesn't it have more than one free slot?

And a great rack, whats a bet /nerdjoke.

I predict a zero for marmotwolof!

the fact that i'm in the top 100 posters is what's worrying me more than anything. i think i need to get off the webs and uh... do stuff or something. like maybe have sex with someone.

Haw, welcome to ILX Ruby :D You can check out but you can never etc etc.

Yeah, I had no idea I was posting so much lately. 203 posts in the last month!? I thought it was like 50.

xpost: that only goes for people who live a long way away from most other posters, like we do (belgium, australia) - I bet those people on the city threads do it with each other all the time.

if you've already voted for yourself you can go home.

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 9 August 2007 21:24 (Thursday, 9 August 2007 21:24)

u_u

I look at it as: you can't beat sex with someone you love...

I don't fuck!

But if I did, it's totally freaking obvious with a giant DDBDUH which ILX0r I want to have all the sex with.

I'm voting for Beth.

Chaki's going to win anyway, he always has the hottest babes in his WDYLL thread pictures.

Just b/c he can pay them to take pictures with him doesn't mean he can afford to pay them to come online and vote.

While I do adore Beth, my affections are not so prurient as they might be re: a couple of others. But I'm still not voting.

I'm voting for Beth b/c I want to see the cheesecake rocky beach picture.

the only person i would didn't make it onto this poll, so people need to start posting some ass.jpgs to help me make up my mind

please, please don't.

hahaha attempt to do this with cameraphone have produced some pretty interesting results though, mostly because my house is a mess and I am wearing ridiculous underwear today

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1230/1074016566_49db1bf66f_o.jpg

HAIR PERSPECT

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1198/1073182237_9c91be8dd1_o.jpg

you don't know your ass from your elbow

COSMIC BUTTLAND

wy is that underwear ridiculous it's black

more

:o

tombot's limbless, floating torso: so hot

oh that's all you get. the other 20+ shots that were completely terrible stay in dev/null where they belong, for eternity. son.

tease

this summer. . .TOMBOT is:

TROLLING FOR PERVS

only because BORED AT HOME AFTER 4x10 SHIFT was unappealing to the target demographic

Second pic's got kind of a Hans Bellmer vibe insofar as it's a part of the human body I could not identify worth fuck.

kinda a aphex/cunningham thing you've got going on there

http://www.warprecords.com/media/img/rj.jpg

that's not really necessary, is it?

on this thread, i think it is.

you aren't even in this poll

lets just keep posting so i don't have to look at that anymore?

good idea

boo!

surmounter show us ur butt

::gasp!::

cut it out, elmo

hey

that picture

sucks

tombot is wearing them newfangled "seamless" undies, y/n

yeah i don't have a problem with his underwear

i love black underwear

http://www.topsynergy.com/images/famous/Bob_Dole_Main.jpg

"Bob Dole loves black underwear." -- Bob Dole

that's abe vigoda

man i am so hungry that that joke seemed funny as i was writing it. in retrospect, makes no sense

http://static.flickr.com/5/8571850_e9d4d2fcb9_o.jpg

http://www.abevigoda.com/ffb.php

"Boxers or briefs, Bob?"
"Depends."

HEY-O

I, for one, am really looking forward to the "SEPTEMBER 2007: WDYLL WITH A BRUISED EGO AND CRUSHED SENSE OF SELF ESTEEM?" thread.

totally

If this thread directly leads to crushed self esteem, I will concede that heavy metal directly leads to suicide

...in the aftermath of LabXOR DAY 2K7?

xp JJ

maybe he means "WDYLL WITH A BRUISED EGO AND CRUSHED SENSE OF SELF ESTEEM AFTER SLEEPING WITH AN ILXOR?"

kind of a guilty morning-after thread

who would u fuk for breakfast, and where?

I like the multiple interpretations available for "and where" in that sentence.

TS MPLS vs. IN TEH BUTT.

if you had said "vs the asshole" i could've made a cutting st paul joke

do it anyway!

i don't actually have one worked out, i'm bluffing ;_;

maybe you could try "yr wife"

maybe we all could

wow this thread is like the state fair, only free

who would u fuk for breakfast, and where?

-- bell_labs, Friday, August 10, 2007 8:32 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I like the multiple interpretations available for "and where" in that sentence.

-- John Justen, Friday, August 10, 2007 8:35 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

FUCK YOU IN THE PANCAKE

you are all crepes

the dudes i nominated on the 'sexiest guy on this board' best be remembering me before casting their vote here... (xpost, eg. latebloomer)

more campaigning for pity votes (although unrelated): 3 hours sleep and hungover; i'm about to head out for a 13-14 hour day at work. and apologies for my ruination, while drunk, of the WDYLL thread. don't hold it against me.

no one will hold anything against you.

I mean...

what kenan's trying to say is, he has a special kind of hollandaise sauce to share with everyone

the Mother Sauce!

http://lumiere.sopheava.com/2005/1026_crepe.jpg

that would normally look really delicious...

you are all crepes

-- latebloomer, Friday, August 10, 2007 8:52 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://cleanplateclubnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/Nutella%20Banana%20Crepe.jpg

OH THE IRONING

Results 1 - 3 of 3 for "erotic patisserie". (0.39 seconds)

the good news is, the crepes has finally pushed Taintface off the screen

fuck (fuk?), I want a crepe now

hahahaha someone finally got my super-obvious pancake joke!

I'm worries this will be like Valentine's Day in elementary school and someone will be sad about getting no valentine cards. Except instead of a little card with a picture of Shaggy surrounded by hearts saying, "Zoinks! Have a swell Valentine's!" the message is a misspelled expression of vulgarity and impersonal, awkward nudesweat.

-- Abbott

i will be measuring my entire self-worth by these poll results.

ADMIN REQ: Can I change my vote?

just kidding :-)

it didn't immediately occur to me to vote for myself, and i ended up wasting my vote on some dude. i want to change my vote, too.

I could mail you a Scooby Doo valentine card if you want, pity campaigner. You can have one with the Mystery Machine & crew on one of the Scoobs solo.

do u really wanna fuck urself Ruby?

No one will know who MADE the VOTES,,,,,o secret.

xpost to abbott - yes plz!

xpost to surmounter - beggars can't be choosers

OH POOR POOR ME DO YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ME YET

The only hope for me not being the absolute last entry in the poll results is if Whiney G Weingarten also gets no votes.

ATTACK AD IN PRODUCTION

dude, don't be competing with me for the sympathy votes. competition is already tough enough.

You have to admit it's rather dehumazizing for both the pity fuckee and the pity fucker to be part of a lukewarm piteous one night stand.

wanko i voted for you out of sympathy. thank you hotmail account.

but you should post a pic so i know if i need to regret my decision.

ohmy she's hardcore

a lukewarm piteous one night stand

is there any other kind, really?

You won't regret it rubyred, I am v. v. cuet.

xpost

there's a worse kind: the lukewarm piteous internet one night stand

but that's no fun, now if you only get one vote it will still feel like zero

OH GET A BOARD YOU TWO

(xxpost)

the wanko/ruby board: the horniest place on the internet

http://static.flickr.com/143/322474833_3db6392e76_m.jpg

LOL exactly

a lot of competition, but we're game

get it

WANKO I WANT PROOF OF YOUR CUETNESS

xxxxxxxpost kenan OTFM re: piteous one nite stands

wanko's vote might be a pity vote (until further notice) but it was HEARTFELT

I Love Dating

make it happen. nominate Confounded, Jergins and Lingbert as mods.

actually wanko and jergins might be the horniest place on the internet, sorry ruby!!

WHAT

bummerz

what does this fellow 'jergins' have that i don't???

http://img.classiccloseouts.com/images_104/attributes_m/5DZ133385.jpg
nevermind different spelling

xxpost

a little Rubbing would be going on in there too, I bet, so if you could maybe incorporate that into your username (rubuntilitsredd or rubbingredd?)

ew. No don't.

LLOLL

woah, what the hell is going on?

cherry almond sounds gross. i smell like green tea and lime.

green tea and patchouli over here... don't be scared by the patchouli. The green tea totally redeems it.

this thread is about 60 posts away from meta-collapse, i'll forecast that now, sit back, and watch the inevitabilities unfold

ENBB: various kinds of nuendo are going on at the moment: in & out.

hey, why is there no ", but in women's clothes" option? :-(

'innuendo' is giving us way too much credit

xpost: u can vote for me all u like, but i'm not putting out, sweetie

this thread is the only thing keeping me upright at my job.
i am dying on the inside.

you guys are my inspiration, my will to live.

only 20 days to go!

i don't know if i can stand the anticipation

WANKO WHERE'S YR PHOTO

i am dying on the inside.

you're even going for the necrophiliac vote? OMG you're serious about this.

fuck yeah

I did a GIS for wanko (it's surprisingly safe for work) and this is him:

http://10e.org/samcimg/wanko2.jpg

v v v cuet

sadly, totally un-fuk-able

hey, why is there no ", but in women's clothes" option? :-(

Because no one would select that option? Which is why I've been wearing my boyfriend's shirts and gave myself a Bruce McCulloch haircut (the former is only true because we have been unable to do laundry for 4 weeks and will have to wait 3 more weeks to do it)(the haircut is because my haircut is awesome).

Abbott - I want pictures of you with said haircut.

ARGH RUBY I SHOULDA VOTED FOR YOU

Oh IT'S A-COMING, once I get this installed (this CS2 suite in a bit here), the Brucio hair will be WITNESSED.

!!!

Abbott - awesome.

Surmounter - who did you vote for?

i think tho, that you need to post a pic on this thread, Ruby

what ? i can't tell you tht!

::awestruck::

i want to post my sluttiest-ever photo but might be going a little far. sur, i'm disappointed you didn't vote for me - what if no one else does????

tell me who you voted for so i can kick their ass

short hair with a side part? that's how i remember him. or you could mean this

http://www.geocities.com/kids_inthehall/brucehunk.jpg

i'll vote for you, ruby

That picture is all kinds of awesome.

srsly. Wolfman McCullough.

what does this fellow 'jergins' have that i don't???

-- Rubyredd, Saturday, 11 August 2007 00:21 (18 minutes ago) Link

so so much, girl. you don't even know.

LADIES OF ILX

vote for me. i'll make it worth your while

(dudes need not apply)

enlighten me

if chaki wins he gets a trip to mexico
if i win i get a trip straight to your heart

Smoove. Very Smoove.

i am a modest man by nature, but i think this sums up my style, what you might "expect":

i just washed down 1/3 of a xanax with some salt water nasal spray

-- jergïns, Friday, July 13, 2007 8:50 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

that's got to give you some kind of indication of how i play

shot through the heart
and you're to blame
you give fuk
a bad name

OH MY GOD U R MY DREAM MAN JERGINS

WAIT - ARE YOU BALD? I HEART BALD MEN!

it's a shame you've already voted. get another account, vote, then IM me, girl

jergins ftw???!!!1!?

I mean I didn't vote for him though..

I haven't voted yet but that might change very soon.

(thanks 4 vote, wanko)

crazy. the lot of you.

i feel like it's prom court!

Wait - do most HS still have that sort of thing? I went to a girl's catholic school so we didn't have anything of the sort and I didn't realize it was still done!

dude, it's done.

i thought catholic schools had proms?

oh we had a prom just without the king/queen thing. I guess at an all girls' school the king part would have been tough to manage.

um yeah tori amos was her homecoming queen? and she was really catholic?

fellas, if you're interested in voting for me, i will accept your vote. it is conditional, though. check out the forums at cosplay.com, pm me with your choice of (female) costume, and we'll go from there.

trying to open new account with my student email but it's taking too long to get password. IT'S ALL FOR YOU, JERGINS.

ALL FOR YOU by JANET. 'nite

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/milkstache.jpg

I'm currently deciding between four prom candidates. One is my childhood best friend. Another is a large 20-year-old man. There's also this awesome twentysomething girl. Oh, and one is an American Idol.

Choices.

HI JERGINS *WINK WINK*

you're good

i like your style

oh now that's just shameless ;)

BOTH OF YOU

I wake up to this. Oy.

xpost i am beyond shame. i knew all those unused email accounts would come in handy one day. kenan i would have spared a vote for you cuz you look a little like my sexy ex-casual fling (on the right):
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1144/1077242606_ebd1abc6e3.jpg
but i ran out of email accounts

[although i thinks it's really just the glasses]

uhh. Thanks?

I mean, he's a fine-looking fellow and all.

ruby A/S/L

dude, i'm not good with all this internet-speak. elaborate.

American Sign Language

kenan, that dude is a babe (imo). but a bit of a dick. he's the doppelganger i sent you a link to ages ago, then retracted the comparison. those specs really get me.

Hey, I'm a bit of a dick, too! We would get along famously, I'm sure.

he has pretty eyes, ferreal

feral

he didn't look so good when he took his glasses off. i wanted to ask him to leave them on when we uh... but i thought it might weird him out.

i <3 you, abbott. i can't wait for my valentine!! i hope it doesn't get lost in the mail while it's making it's way round the other side of the world!!

I always leave my glasses on... uh... during. And the lights on. I'm visually stimulated, what can I say.

Eating pussy with glasses on is a big no-go.

?

I don't know how you do it, but my glasses are well above the waterline.

i just choked on my laughter at a very inappropriate moment

Well I'm Eazy E the one they're talkin about
Nigga tried to roll the dice and just crapped out
Police tried to roll, so it's time to go
I creeped away real slow and jumped in the six-fo'
Wit the "Diamond in the back, sun-roof top"
Diggin the scene with the gangsta lean
Cause I'm the E, I don't slang or bang
I just smoke motherfuckers like it ain't no thang
And all you bitches, you know I'm talkin to you
"We want to fuck you Eazy!" I want to fuck you too

I'm visually stimulated, what can I say.

you say this but then i always remember something you said about not liking women in mags holding themselves open. kind of missing the point.

this thread somehow always scans 'who have u fuked' which is just wrong.

LOLOL @ eazy

you say this but then i always remember something you said about not liking women in mags holding themselves open. kind of missing the point.

waht, no. Because I'm visual doesn't mean I need gynecological detail. That's not just visual, it's a bit much. When I'm doing that porn surfing thing, there are these little galleries of a girl, and often one or two pics are just a giant close up of one or other body part. NO! I click away quick. I need face, body, something... some context! Just because I'm male doesn't mean I love to stare at flaps of hairy roast beef all day. Have a person attached, plz.

speak for yourself.

kenan=sensitivenewageguy ;p

Need to have a face and an occupation and a likes-and-dislikes attached.

oh fuck all of you

No, no, no, I hear what you're saying.

xpost you can only do that if you create a whole heap of email accounts ;)

take WallOfVadge.jpg, for instance... if you think guys are so singularly visual, why do we think that's fantastically gross?

pussies are nice. .

omg I just sounded like kenan. please kill me.

fantastically gross... yet strangely compelling

the vadges in wallofvadge seem to be chosen fore their cumminess which is sort of gross

for

xpost more like compellingly strange

the vadges in wallofvadge seem to be chosen fore their cumminess which is sort of gross

I tried to say this before, kind of, but ally screamed at me. You don't need semen to have a vagina that has a bit of cloudy discharge.

Oh, god. "Discharge" sounds so gross. What's a better word for it?

I tried "runoff" but that makes it sound like environmentally unfriendly farmland or something.

"Vaginal mucous" is accurate, but still does not have the ring of love for the vagina and its fluids that I would like to convey.

Jeez... no wonder they call me creepy. I'm not kidding, though!

quim gimlet

Jesus, this thread sinks ever lower. Wallovadge discussions should really be relegated to its one thread w/the direly accurate title. If you want to talk about the runoff, mail a poem to the editors of "Our Bodies Our Selves."

Luvjuice

alls i'm saying is that there's more than one dude I have heard from who thinks that the fluid visible on the wallofvadge could only originate from a penis. I don't want dudes to go around thinking this. It's a public service, do you see?

also probably a bit of a subconscious alpha-male challenge that i know pussies better than you, and that's creepy, and I will say nothing more about it.

Sorry.

OUR BODIES OUR SELVES GETS IN TOUCH WITH INNER GODDESS MADE OF CHOCOLATE

http://www.sugart.org/images/sculptures/ribbondancer.jpg

http://chocolate.zooloot.com/images/chocolate-bar2.jpg

when I said cumminess I meant 'run-off' or whatever.

beaver jam

i <3 this thread!

aww kenan you're ok dude.

where's that 'semen euphemisms' thread? i'm sure some of those could apply here.

xxpost i fear that if I say one more word on this subject, I will become the most unfuckable man of all time.

yeah but you got a woman so it doesn't matter. feel sorry for us single desperados.

yeah, there is one girl who can be relied on to not find me creepy, and that's all that matters. :)

You are not a desperado. You're a pretty girl. Go out tonight! It's Saturday!

http://www.freshchocodiles.com/images/chocolate_cupcake_close_in.jpg

Abbott otm

http://www.snoozebuttondreams.com/images/DodgeVagina.jpg

Why would someone want to pour milk (of Elmer's Glue viscosity) all over milk chocolate?

abbott that is gross.

xpost to kenan: i'm here at the store all day, then i get to go to my waitressing job straight after. actually, tbh, there i'm not suffering a shortage of 'offers', as such - more a shortage of offers i want to take up.

and i did go out last night! and then i came home drunk and posted stupid smart-ass comments on wdyll and became a retard.

welcome to the fold

are you the one who works at Ann Taylor or somesuch retail?

*i feel like i've finally found a place to call home*

i work at ecco.

it's 11:30 friday night here, and i am not drunk, but I am starting to wish I was

wanko where's my photo?

abbott that is gross.

abbott that is genius.

I just tried but the camera is out of batteries. I will look for some.

wanko, all this anticipation - you better be a goddamn SEX GOD

I am. On most Friday nights I am having sex with hot babes. Just not this Friday night, which is a rare exception.

I don't know that your screen name supports that assertion.

xpost i wouldn't expect anything less. you know i like meaty/chubby bald guys with chicago accents, right? i hope you meet all these requirements.

i think i got burned the worst with the static screen name law.

i think i like this screen v much

surely i should get, like, bonus votes for being so hardcore? and what happened to beth?

and watch the inevitabilities unfold

geez.

this thread is long now.

meanwhile ILM is pretty calm. i see lampposts over there, whereas over here it's like a college campus the morning after the big dance. most of u are still asleep and of course i'm the guy on my way to the cafeteria to eat like a bucket of fries.

=P

How does a bucket of fries eat?

MOM

haha

So, campaigning is over already?

people be Campaigning?

*puts hand over his "Fuk Rubyredd!" badge*

What do you mean?

STILL CAMPAIGNING

I'd wanna see more revealing pics of the chix0rs before voting

yeah, but then we'd be labelled vain and slutty.

too late

low blow, dude.

think he was blowing himself?

just to clarify, I'm more in the "vain and slutty" camp than you'll ever be. People here have seen me naked, for no damn good reason.

vain, slutty, AND defensive

attractive, no?

T/S INTERROGATIVE VS. DECLARATIVE.

if any of you strange people i only know through the internet want to jump my bones, please be advised that that's a little creepy but i'd still appreciate your vote all the same :)

well put, and exactly the reason I'll be thrilled to get zero votes on this gross poll.

I WANT ALL YOUR VOTES AND I WILL NOT BE CREEPED OUT OR GROSSED OUT IF I GET THEM.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1256/1096122356_44bcfe978d.jpg

I better get some mufuggin votes, yo.

no fear jesse, keep it up

I am posting that pic every fucking where because I am the proud new owner of a 4-pack.

Prediction: if this keeps up, I am going to be vain in <1 month.

you are beautiful, be all the vain you want

I promise tantric action.

I want to grab those rapidly diminishing luv handles and eat yr butt.

-- kenan, Monday, August 13, 2007 10:21 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

gay ass-eating kills thread

:(

STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY VOTES WITH YA 4-PACK ELMO.

do you ever sleep?

maybe she will, with you, if you vote for her!

not often. there's too much campaigning to do.

it's 7am here.

xpost

that is not elmo

stanM, the question is 'who would you fuk?', not 'who would I fuk?'

xpost apologies; i'm sleep deprived and easily confused

STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY VOTES WITH YA 4-PACK ELMO JESSE

SEND ME SEXIUAL PICTURE

VOTE 4 ME !!!
I AM BEST CANDIADTE 4 FANTASTCAL ILX FUK !!!
YAY!

it's true. Look:

http://img01.picoodle.com/img/img01/8/5/24/f_streakingm_d641ea5.jpg

SEXY!!!

SNORGMAN

I voted for Surmounter. I'm just going to come out with it. It's done, and it can't be undone. I have a lot of regret about that though Jhoshea is looking particularly passionate these days.

If I'm going to have sex with anyone, however, it would be predicated on Hoos schedule - I need him around to 'make it rain' on us during the festivities. That can be interpreted in many ways and I am open to any and all of them.

I am never an option in these polls, clearly because I would win.

Doubtless.

I, personally, couldn't possibly pick just one.

I do with there was option for checkboxes instead of just radio buttons

I have yet to vote. Tough decision, really.

This poll is taking waaaaayyy too long.

Yeah whats with the long end date I WANT ANSWERS.

ME TOO

if i don't place in the top 10 i will never leave the house again.

I'll wear Ray-Ban's and play sax with Arsenio to woo your votes!

another two weeks, and we'll know!

And of course by then the thread will have long ago dropped off the new answers page and nobody will care.

There should have been a male thread and a female thread. But then again, the female thread would have been waaaaay creepy. Cause I bet all the creepy lurkers will throw off the votes for any meng.

if i don't place in the top 10 i will never leave the house again.

See, you're going about this all wrong. You can't seen needy, you know? You have to be aloof. "Whatever, vote for me or don't. I don't need you people."

And then post pictures of your boobs.

why not just do a 'who's the creepiest' poll

Ooh that would be a toughie.

the top 5 or ten are all locked up, i'm afraid

such a good idea, make it so

xpost

maybe it was done on NB already?

boring :-(

Anyone got an over/under?

:|

BIG HOOS HOLLA ;]

eazy i will over but not under for 1 (one) vote

There's a couple people I'd consider voting for, but they're not on the list.

VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE MY ADVANCED AGE=SEXUUUUUAL EXXXPERIENCE!!!!!!

Oh god, no response. I'm going away now, to bury my shame in backbreaking physical labor.

WHICH WILL MAKE ME EVEN MORE ALLURING, ALL DIRTY AND TICK-INFESTED!!!!!!!

It should be pointed out that a single vote really answers WHO WOULD U FUK FIRST?

i do not even remember who i voted for in this and furthermore don't particularly want to know who i voted for.

This is why it is illegal to vote drunk on Election Day.

who would u fuk?

I'm not casting my vote until the eve of election day. I want to see what the candidates have to offer.

latebloomer for prez

:D

roxy for Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Badassery

now we need a "platform"

http://www.hiller.org/files/i/platform-4-626.jpg

our platform kicks ass

"cold frostbitten death from above"

OF COURSE

rubyredd </crepey drunk>

The Humansuit platform:

1. I have not made a woman barren with Syphilis since 1990. I didn't know better - I was legally a child.
2. I did not inhale.
3. I blew.
4. Condoms are a scourge to the environment.
5. Bestiality is something one should never discuss in Federal Court.
6. You have no moral culpability if you are blindfolded.

Will this get me a single vote?

(b^_^)b

rubyredd </crepey drunk>

come on man. The girl who's BEGGING for it is not the one you want, especially in this case, since she's not really serious. Besides, she's in New Zealand, so what does it matter?

You know all this!

Todd Swiss and Abbott should get the hook up. There's a match.

:)

Workin' on the night mooooves

excuse me kenan??? OF COURSE i'm the one he wants! stop trying to fuck up my chances of winning.

actually, he thought he was calling *me* a crepey drunk.

i'm so going to top this chart.

and then post pictures of your boobs

go on, for ken....

i sent them to him privately. along with every other male ilxor, of course. didn't you get my email?

On the one hand, I am human and I want to be fucked.... On the other, if I get a(ny) vote(s) I will only wonder where they came from and why since most people I know on ILX are Chilxors who I would not want to have wanting to fuck me.

Children?

I'm happy with whatever I can get

oh fuck, xpost

I am human and I want to be fucked

just like everybody else does?

Uh, there do exist people who are asexual.

Anyway can't wait till this poll closes. That said, if I even get one vote for me, I'm gonna be so freaked out.

duh

xpost

Please please please let everyone get the number of votes they want.

Subzero then?

People just don't know about The Smiths anymore, kenan & jesse :-(

it's TATU, silly.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6688353.stm

Um, so, yeah. Depressingly inactive thread, isn't it? :-/

i finally voted (thanks stanm that was hot)

I voted for this lovely young lady http://i16.tinypic.com/4kku1si.jpg (so dontcha be thinking she voted for herself)

Abbie wins this one though, i'd be willing to bet (1) dollar on it (were i a betting person).

Abbie? You mean Gabbynebbie?

"Abbot"

Oh.

Still not in the top 100 you guys!

I'm pretty sure that I've already won this, all thanks to my massive penis.

so if you don't win, it means your penis is tiny

most anti-climactic poll ever

There hasn't been the climax yet!

(has there, anybody?)

blueski's ejaculation there was immature

premature

and immature

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/453/neddy4.jpg

that should sort the votes out

thanks for that, frogman

can you email me the original jpeg sans ned?

the....what? you've lost me.

underneath ned's face was tuomas's face

unclean, holmes, unclean

I want to do Mitt Romney but he's not in the pole.

My platform is this: I am married, but I would still string you along with false promises of one day running off together.

Oh how I envy all those straight women who can vote for you... :-/

I'm surprised that Dom is the only one honest enough to put in for a roll in the hay with that cherubic beauty of a man, Geir Hongro.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

i would just like to officially state that i'm no longer depressed about not winning this poll, so all of those who carelessly voted for someone other than me: don't fret, dears, i forgive you all.

my fuk-needs are soon to be met IRL. FINALLY.

uh.... ok

yay rubyredd! are they letting you into california finally, or the other way around?

tmi

kenan: no... not quite... but something pretty goddamn awesome happened this week. i'll email you about it sometime soon.

xpost Don't worry, guys, she's not going to make you watch or anything. Jeez.

She isn't? :-(

poppage pt. 2

Am I'm the creepy one.

Yes, you and.

Nevermind, a'm just kidding :=)

so did i win this thing yet or what.

i fuked you already. you were asleep.

I has a jar of vaseline, a bottle of sedatives, and a tiny dick.

Hairy Asshurts to thread

Oh no, I didn't kill the thread, did I? Sorry :-(

My platform is this: I am married, but I would still string you along with false promises of one day running off together.

-- Hurting 2, Thursday, 30 August 2007 14:36 (Yesterday) Link

Oh how I envy all those straight women who can vote for you... :-/

-- StanM, Thursday, 30 August 2007 15:51 (Yesterday) Link

No, I'll string anyone along in exchange for votes - male or female.

OMG today's the last day OMG

this poll is meaningless. Today, EVERYBODY gets fuked!

September morn
We danced until the night became a brand new day
Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play
September morning still can make me feel this way

I'm not voting, actually. Too crepey.

ilx system in a landslide obv

landslide of fuk

I like the ILX system bump, it's lovely lady bump, or maybe it's a chap, a chap with a lovely bump, a lovely chumpy bump

Crepes are yum.

Dude they are the best w/Nutella, fried bananas & almond slivers. Try it and be prepared to KNOCK THE SUN OUT OF ORBIT with flavor!

I am too modest and retiring to want to be voted for...I am always embarrassed by being found rrrowr.

Fried bananas?

ILE = the new Tammany Hall.

http://www.fuk.de/img/gen_print_logo.gif

NO JIMMY MOD NO CREDIBILITY

Any minute now! (admit it, everyone's refreshing like crazy, aren't you?)

uh... no.

THANK YOU KIND SOUL

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System PWND!

THANK YOU KIND SOUL THAT VOTED FOR ME

THANK YOU CONFOUNDED

Remind me to vote for myself next time :-(

am0n 0

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v195/info1/200px-Big2.jpg

i would like to take a moment to say WHAT'S UP to all 3 of my admirers and myself.

speech! speech! (don't we have an award banner the winner can use on her blog or something?)

Jesse, you campaigned hard, man. Sorry there will be no delegates for you at the fuk convention.

wait... if i voted for tombot, who did ally vote for?

that's 140 votes, people. awesome.

This poll goes on like the last 8 months for me!

Aw! I appreciate the vote, random ilxor (though you would be committing a felony, I think).

betcha anything ally voted for herself

who are the 8 people that voted for the hungry hungry hippo?

this indeed a disturbing universe.

i cant remember whether or not i voted for myself :/

You guys coming to the bar tonight? Turn you 0s into heros.

OH JESUS CHRIST.

And I didnt vote for myself!

lil skrit now big skrit

I got as many votes as Geir. I dont know what to think.

eazy is hell bent on fuking us all.

getting you all fukked with my birthday drinks

oh noes!

I've been defending Glenn Frey in a rare foray into ILM - I need a drink after that.

or a sock in the nose, one or the other

how do you feel about Joe Walsh, while we're here?

Just a goof, that guy.

btw: i'm fine with my zero, since on the noize poll I got 2 noize votes. I do not know who these people are, but I thank them.

I mean, look at these three videos from 1988 and tell me that Frey is not the class act.

i wonder if a noize fuk is different.

Dude I fucking love Glen Frey.

I have never been so happy to be unelectable in my life.

that first video is not glen frey. But so far I'm having strange feelings. I want to hate it, but I don't.

Maybe Geir would fuck me if I wore a Paul McCartney mask :(

FIVE VOTES?!?! that's all i got after the hard-out campaigning i did? ;_;

ah well.

CORRUPTION AT POLLS

http://images.encarta.msn.com/xrefmedia/sharemed/targets/images/pho/t039/T039367A.jpg

yeah here we go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZwu54S94-4

many thx to all the sexy, sexy ILXors who voted for me.

uh, except you kenan.

I got as many votes as Geir. I dont know what to think.

I voted for tombot. Let the record show.

FIVE VOTES?!?! that's all i got after the hard-out campaigning i did? ;_;

I told you to show your boobs. But did you listen? Nooooo.

ok no video is better than this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7q1H3VKdp0

thank goodness i voted myself

i didn't even make the list! :(

wtf

i know!

Having looked at the top three I can't work out whether this poll has been creepy, hilarious or just fucking weird.

in that order?

Dys, the list was just the top 50 posters of the month in the stats I think.

Having looked at the top three I can't work out whether this poll has been creepy, hilarious or just fucking weird.

the first one

I will be paranoid for the rest of my life

am0n 0

-- jergïns, Friday, August 31, 2007 7:05 PM (2 hours ago)

Get confident, stupid

Hey at least you only had one vote C, FIVE people voted for me, and now I'm worried they were all taking the piss, based on all the other high votes :(

dont worry trayce we werent!

I will be paranoid for the rest of my life

-- Curt1s Stephens

srsly i wouldn't be that afraid of ralph

me, i embrace my three admirers (and myself)

fuck yeah, ralphie

Actually I think anyone who's seriously worried about this poll is taking ILX way too srsly anyway considering the whole poll was started as a joek.

I don't even know what a good number of these people look like

ummmm. i probably should have been included as an option. . . ? these poll results are irrelevant; if i'm not included. or, maybe it's just a given that we'd all like to have at me. . . ?

who are you?

haha

I don't even know what a good number of these people look like but i would still consider laying them under the right circumstances

I didn't vote for me

or the schef (adam schefter ha ha)

me either. i mean, i guess i would fuk myself but i don't think i would be my first choice.

I'd like to think I didn't vote, but I may have just forgotten

iirc i didn't vote either, but 4 whole votes, wau thanking u, dudez.

BIG ADAM aka the schefdriver

I like how my real persona (hah!) got two votes but this alter ego zero votes. What does it mean? WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN?

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to voted for me.

no fuk me = fuk u ALL

Hey! I got a vote! I didn't lose!

I like how my real persona (hah!) got two votes but this alter ego zero votes. What does it mean? WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN?

You don't post pictures as often being stevienixed? Apparently ilxors are very "visually stimulated".

No, that would mean that the schef is attrac*runs away giggling*

(j/k - babes, computers a

..nd rock stars be winning, no surprises)

Ah yes, Stevie Nixed is "visually challenged." ;-)

I'm just annoyed I'm at the bottom of all the people on zero votes.

It's almost like having negative votes, isn't it? :-/

StanM -3

Matt DC is the Leeds United of ILE

who's starting the "who won't u fuk" poll then?

I don't want to know!

lol best poll ever

i just wonder what the real adam schefter thinks abt all this

ha thanks for the votes!

Now Ally's going to be afraid to go to FAPs.
Thanks for the votes, yellow stone fans! I only didn't vote because I couldn't vote for EVERYONE!

that shouldve been an option

For all of us serious sluts. You don't want to close off your options.