Post three facts about you : two true and one a pork-pie. We have to guess the pork-pie.

I'll give it some thought. What have I not said? What can I make up that's creative but possible? oo.

-I used to be in a band with one of Electralane
-I used to be in a band with Anton of the Brian Jonestown Massacre
-I used to play drums for Drugstore

ha ha, take a guess!

-I speak Serbo-Croat
-I'm color-blind
-I have two middle names

The last one is a little fib, Kate?

I'm with you, Dr. C.

Nope! That one is actually true! It was their last tour of the States, and Mike was in hospital with TB. I saw them in Albany, they asked if anyone in the audience could play drums, I said I'd give it a go. Yes, I did play drums with Drugstore. Guess again!

Goobs, you don't speak Serbo-Croat, because I know you were having this problem with making wedding plans!

I was going to say the Anton one. It's too plausible.

God-damn self-revealing wedding talk!

Holy shit, Kate!

Yeah, the Anton one is the fib - he was credited as "spiritual guidance councillor" on the Lollies mini-album, but was never actually *in* the band.

- I was once chased down a field by a flock of sheep.
- I passed upper elementary school with highest grades possible.
- I've never in my life worn a tie.

The first one - I reckon YOU chased the sheep.

Nope, I think it's the elementary school one. I remember you boasting about never having worn a tie once!

Right,

1. I turned down the chance to audition as Bassplayer for Gallon Drunk
2. I performed as part of a dance troupe in Turkey
3. shared a jacuzzi w/ Claire grogan

My neck hurts

My feet hurt

My stomach hurts

Got to be the dance troupe.

My guess: The Feet.

xpost 1 more go.

Mark G If 3 is true, I kill salute you. Mind you, I did chat to her in a pub once.

that's not a pick!

Elementary school is right! I got the highest grades from everything else except PE and woodwork.

I want it to be true, so the Gallon Drunk thing is the fib.

Nope, I wore a new pair of shoes to work yesterday and I'm growing several new blisters.

I take it that the names mentioned by Kate and Mark are famous in Britain?

sigh

By the way there's nothing to stop people telling us more than one set of 'facts'.

Gotta go to a meeting, but I'll just lay this sporty-themed one down first :

1. I have saved a penalty at Highbury
2. I have played for a gay men's rugby team.
3. I had an England Schools trial at cricket when I was 16.

I don't even know what number 1 means!

But since you don't seem to be gay, it has to be 2.

1) my favorite song right now is "500 miles" (the folk song)
2) my favorite song right now is "500 miles" (the proclaimers song)
3) i don't care for either

The GD one is true. They advertised on our staff noticeboard, as some of the people close to the band worked there. I was intrigued by the "Elvis/Nick Cave" influence, but they were london based and I am Reading based, and thought it'd be too much of a trawl. I wouldn;t have got it, I'm sure.

The Claire Grogan one: I confess. I told a tale here some time ago about how this happened. (summary: Took kids to local themed swimpool, all went in a large jac, amongst whom.., etc) About a month later, I saw her on TV and realised it was someone who looked a lot like her, but not quite enough.

Because, logically, it was "a mixed team" rather than "a gay men's team" if there were others than gay men in it.

(xx-post)

ok, get bent: The folk song is the same one as the Proclaimers one, (i.e. 3 is the fib), otherwise it's impossible.

Not if they're equally favourite.

OK here goes:

1. I stood in for a member of a Britpop band on TOTP.
2. Songs have been written about me.
3. I flipped the bird to the host of a local kids' TV show aged 8.

I say number 1.

but if 3) was true then neither 1 or 2 could be

xp to getbents

Yeah, Get Bent's is like some crazy logical paradox to puzzle computers with.

If you flip the bird at kiddies' TV you can't go to TOTP nor have songs written about you?

(xx-post)

Okay, another set:

1. I've been in Finnish TV twice: once as a guest in a talk show and once as a bit part player in a soap opera.

2. I've never had sex with any of my roommates.

3. I've promised to father children for three different girls.

Number two.

Nope, that's true.

My porkpie was Numero Uno!

sorry, Tuomas, I went and picked one I thought was true. honest

The fib one: number three.

I've never been to Toronto Canada
I'm a faith healer
I've never worn a tie

1. i have never had sex with a courgette
2. i have never had sex with a zucchini
3. i once penetrated your mother with a cucumber

Has to be number 1... Come on, a courgette!

Oh yeah, it was my number 1 that was false. I've actually been in Finnish TV three times: twice in the same talk show and once in the soap opera.

Yes, but you have been on TV twice. You have also been on TV a third time, but that doesn't negate those two times. That's not logically sound!

ken c you're supposed to include one that isn't true, please play right

So I was correct about you, Suzy? I think you've mentioned number 2 here, and number 3 didn't sound like something you made up.

(xx-post)

1. I have Size 15 (US) feet
2. I can do a fantastic impersonation of "Bez"
3. I once wore a Roman legionary's uniform in a street parade

They are all plausible. I'll go for 2.

What's "Bez"?

1. I have a photo of me and Kevin McKidd at a party
2. I have a photo of Dylan Moran and Tommy Tiernan kissing.
3. I have a photo of me and Grace Jones at the Eiffel Tower.

1. I have kissed Kylie Minogue
2. I have kissed Michaela Strachan
3. I have kissed Louise Wener

I don't even know what number 1 means!

Highbury was an English soccer ground, home of Arsenal before they moved to a new stadium.

But since you don't seem to be gay, it has to be 2

It's not 2. I played for a gay men's rugby team twice, when they were short of players. Just because I'm not gay doesn't mean that it's not gay men's rugby team, although technically on those occasions, it wasn't, as you said.

Mark C, you have not kissed Kylie I think.

Trish - I am ashamed to say I don't know who Kevin McKidd is.

3. I have a photo of me and Grace Jones at the Eiffel Tower.

you did Roger Moore's stunts in A View To A Kill?

ken's third one is a lie (it was an aubergine)

Dr C, you are not correct :)

Alright Louise Wener is the porky then.

yes.

I once stayed in a French chateau with Lord Lichfield
I once stayed in a French chateau with Dudley Moore
I once stayed in a French chateau with David Bailey

Christ, I sound such a tart.

Did you actually have sex with two of them?

1. My uncle was a Led Zep roadie
2. As a kid I appeared as a contestant on Children's BBC quiz show Clockwise, hosted by infamous TV shagger Darren Day
3. I got a bigup on a grime mixtape

Umm - (strokes chin) let me see :

Either a) you habitually run off to french chateaux with famous photographers, in which case little Dud is the fib.

Or b) You were there once with two of the three. In which case one of the photographers is the odd man out.

I say the latter is true and Bailey was not there. He is the fib.

x-post to CJ obv.

No-one's done mine yet!

I think Number 3 is Dr C's fib. I reckon he has saved a penalty at Highbury, but in some charity football match or something.

I think he tried to save a penalty at Highbury but was sent the wrong way with a cunning use of The Eye.

I think it was in Highbury, Rhodesia.

How would that make it a fib [xpost to CJ]? I think it's the cricket one. It has that combo of being the most mundane, yet the highest achievement of the three

That's what I said - number 3 (the cricket one) is the fib. He's already said number 2 is true, and I thought number 1 was true as well.

School theme for mine:

1) I lost my status as Prefect for selling cigarettes to 12 year olds
2) I was threatened with expulsion for punching a dinner lady
3) I was the first person in the history of my school to have my scholarship revoked

I say number 2.

I can't believe such a nice fellow as you would threaten to punch a dinner lady, Colonel!

I'm quite scared of you now, Colonel Poo.

Don't be, he's a lovely chap.....apart from when he smashed a pint glass over my head at the FAP the other week. But I'm sure that was just an accident..

CJ is correct! :) As is DJ Mencap..

I did save a penalty at Highbury! I played in the final stages of a competition for company football teams organized by an engineering magazine. We lost in the semi-finals IIRC.

No 3 is indeed the fib. It wasn't cricket, it was rugby.

Wait.....how are we doing with yours, CJ? David Bailey was my guess.

1. i met timothy spall
2. i met seth green
3. i met bob dylan

mark c, i want to know your definition of 'kiss' in regards to kylie minogue...

Mine was number 1! Come on now, as if they'd make me a prefect. I was accused (falsely) of selling cigarettes to 12 year olds though. Wasn't me, was someone else.

I punched the dinner lady when I was 10, I was fighting another boy, she broke it up and I lashed out at her in the process.

David Bailey is not the fib

That's what I said - number 3 (the cricket one) is the fib. He's already said number 2 is true, and I thought number 1 was true as well.

I do apologise. I never learnt to read

Hmmm (strokes chin, narrows eyes) not Bailey you say....

Trish - despite not knowing who Kevin McKidd is, I think it's a fib. The Grace Jones thing is too mad to be untrue and I reckon the Moran thing is likely.

1. I was once mistaken for a member of the Spin Doctors.
2. I've been naked on TV.
3. While drunk at a house-party, I punched the singer from SR-71 in the face.

(My guess is that Rubyredd has never met Timothy Spall)

wrong

Dr. C, this is Kevin McKidd:

http://www.hbo.com/rome/img/cast/actor/actor_kevinmckidd.jpg

And you are incorrect. I have never met Grace Jones. Wish I had, though.

My guess is that RubyRedd has never met Bob Dylan, and I'm really hoping that Kingkonggodzilla's is the house party one, because the other two are cool.

Okay, child-related ones:

1. I have a scar on my eye from when a kid in my class stuck a pencil in it (by accident, I should say).

2. I once had my leg stitched up by a vet.

3. I was once locked in a bathroom at a relative's house and my uncle had to kick in the door to get me out.

Oh HIM. He's in 'Rome', yes? And was in the Nicolas Nickelby film, possibly?

Yes. That's the one. I met him at a party about ten years ago, just after Small Faces had come out. We had a right laugh.

accentmonkey wins!

i ALMOST met bob, though: he played here a few years ago, and he was supposed to come eat at my restaurant, but his plane got in late so he didn't. BUT i got to meet his tour manager and his sound and lighting crew - i made sure i was the only one looking after their table, and i got a big tip and 3 tickets to the concert.

Trish, no.3 in the last lot is a fib. It wasn't your uncle, it was Kevin McKidd who kicked in the door. Or was it Grace Jones?

Another go at CJ's - back to theory a) i.e. Dudley Moore is the porkpie.

CJ sez: David Bailey is not the fib

I say is Lord Lichfield the fib?

Actually, no.1 is the fib. It is my brother who has the pencil-related scar, not me.

1) I was almost picked to be an Ewok in Return Of The Jedi but was deemed too short.
2) I have knowingly eaten a locust and cockroach.
3) I have a third nipple.

A: i talked with a man who drove on the moon
B: i have discussed the moon with sun ra
C: my dad's mum's sister's husband's brother invented the oompah loompahs

Goddammit, those are good ones.

Pete: I think 1) is untrue, but I wish it was 3)

Mark: I think B is untrue.

- I met T. Booth when I was sixteen and introduced him to a friend with whom he ended up spending a weekend hooking up with.
- I have smoked up with George Clinton.
- I'm related to David Hasselhoff.

B is clearly true Mark. C is plausible. Therefore A is my porkpie pick.

i was at school with T.Booth (if it is the same one)! tho i didn't know him

It was the house-party one. Accentmonkey on a roll.

1. I was in the process of getting autographs from 3/4ths of the Spin Doctors when another fan saw my beard and dazed expression and presumed me to be the lead singer.

2. My nude frame can be seen stalking across the frame for about a second during the Maine segment of HBO's Spencer Tunick documentary. I didn't have T.V. at the time, but people around my town started calling me out on it.

3. I had hoped this would have fooled someone, because sometimes people will just up and punch someone while drunk, ya know?

Boo ya! In your face, er... oh. It's not that kind of game.

1. I have a Beastie Boys tattoo.
2. I have an Elliott Smith tattoo.
3. I have a Tupac tattoo.

A. true -- his name was pete conrad, it was at the astronauts and cosmonauts convention in groningen in 1990, which i covered for the village voice (i didn't like him much but he DID DRIVE THE MOON BUGGY)
B. false -- i interviewed ra in 1989 but we didn't talk about the moon
C. true -- my great aunt merriel (sp?) wz married to louie dahl (she is still alive aged 103)

Oh MM - I really hope you have a Tupac tattoo.

All of Pete's are untrue. It is PETE for chrissakes.

Colossal, Mark!

Oh MM - I really hope you have a Tupac tattoo.

*cries at failing to met ENBB's standards*

ENBB's is either B or C. I don't know why, I'll go with the Hoff.

I'm thinking Hoff is fake. She's too cool. (or maybe she is that cool?)

1) TRUE. But no-one ever believes which is why I new lie all the time.
2) TRUE. And they were nummy.
3) FALSE: I thought I had a third nipple but it turned out to be a really big spot that i had for about eight years. Lancing that bugger was qite disturbing.

x-post - You are right. I am not related to the Hoff although I sort of wish that I was!!!

See with Pac and Hoff you are showing how much cooler you are than me. (I admire Pac greatly but unless it was very abstract a tattoo of him would just double the strangeness I anticipate on the bus when I start carrying my Malcolm X knitting tote.)

But that is what would make it so awesome!

I have anxiety problems and don't like drawing attention to myself. Anything that might encourage someone to talk to me is avoided. It's bad enough when people ask me about my Elliott tat. Maybe I could just put Pac on my back with the Beasties and save him for those special times. I'm sure it would turn my guy on.

1) Robert Plant inappropriately touched me.
2) I met Charlie Louvin and Jello Biafra at the same time.
3) I witnessed my neighbor stabbing her pimp while throwing my friend a birthday party.

Number 1. I remember you talking about Louvin and find it perfectly feasible that your neighbor's a ho.

- I have seen Rupert Murdoch's son get high.
- I have seen John Lithgow's son get high.
- I have seen Al Gore's daughter get high.

Now I can't pick one, and I KNOW WHYYY

I HATE JOHN LITHGOW. Sorry, the hate is so strong that I couldn't help myself.

hahaha why?

Is pork-pie a Britishism, or is it more of Morbius's gay slang from the 40's?

rhyming slang : pork pie = lie

SAME DIFF KENAN

Nope, it's 3. While she did stab her pimp, I didn't see it happen. I did witness her pimp climb up the 2nd story and attempt to break in her apartment. (stabbing happened at some point when i wasn't around)

1. I have done a Glowstick Dance on a nightclub podium, wearing nothing but a pair of devil's horns.

2. My debut words on national television were "He's surprisingly tender, actually." I was having chocolate sauce licked out of my navel, while being interviewed by Davina McCall.

3. The only girl I have ever snogged grew up to play Alice the verger on The Vicar of Dibley.

Dan, what are you a drug dealer or do people regularly get high backstage at choral productions in Boston?

I say number 3.

i. i was at school with the son of the first famous brit man to become a woman
ii. i was at school with margaret thatcher's literary agent
iii. i was at school with lord lucan's nephews

I am not a drug dealer! Also, you are correct; I watched Al Gore's daughter get drunk, not high.

I'm pretty sure I know someone who got high with Al Gore's daughter, however (this is not a lie).

Dan - I really can't explain the Lithgow hatred I've just never liked him and hate to even look at his face. Those Campbell's select commercials really bugged me.

But he was in Footloose!

mark s - ii is not true.

Yeah, I think ii is not true, too, Thatcher doesn't have a literary agent! She communes directly with the 12 foot lizards!

back-up and explanation of 'smoked up with George Clinton' urgent and key

lord lucan, for the elucidation of non-brits -- he is a direct descendent of the one responsible for the charge of the light brigade

or was, since he is CERTANLY DEAD (controversial)

I WANT TO BELIEVE

hey, i just read an article about this - some ex-scotland yard dude now thinks he's living in marton, new zealand (a couple of hours drive from where i live), and he's living out of a car.

i'm guessing mark c's kissing isn't like tonguey kissing.. otherwise omg kylie! respect

Another :

1. I have been in a tug-of-war with a former Dr. Who. We were on the same team.

2. I trod on Jennifer Saunders's foot.

3. I trod on Phil Collins's foot.

That guy in NZ is like 10 years too young to be Lord Lucan, unfortunately.

1. I have played football against Bill Nighy

2. I have asked Harold Pinter whether he has "the mania"

3. I have won a national poetry competition

3. is wrong jgo

first two are true, third is just your not so secret desire (xp)

Dr C's number one is true. I'm guessing Peter Davison.

I think number 2 is the fib.

*coughs discreetly*

1) Kelis bought me a McFlurry in Amsterdam.

2) My grandad used to manage Slade before they were famous.

3) I once spilled a drink on J.Lo's foot and was hurried away by minders.

2

Mike - I reckon your number three is false. It could be number one though, number two has a ring of plausability about it.

Also: were you in Take That?

Your fib was number 3. I don't think you snogged Alice the Verger. (I've met her btw)

My number 2 is true. She was very nice about it.

Anna - I hope number 3 is true, not that I wish you to be manhandled by minders, but I fear that it is a porky.

1. i once pwn3d stuar7 murd0ch from b3ll3 and s3b4s71an at football
2. i once pwn3d d4n tr34cy from t313v1510n p3r50n4117135 at sudoku
3. i once pwn3d dunc4n b4nn47yn3 from dr4g0ns d3n at poker

My eyes have gone all funny

i think mike's pork pie is #1 (it sounds quite vague compared to the other two)

Anna's pork pie is #3

1) i was once rudely shoved aside by a member of the von trapp family
2) i hit the lead singer of fall out boy in the head with a lime
3) crispin glover once asked me if he could cut in front of me to use the bathroom

my second three have not been diagnosed korrektly yet!

(i actually slightly misstated ii, i think -- but it's within acceptable social tolerances IN MY OPINION)

Anna - I hope number 3 is true, not that I wish you to be manhandled by minders, but I fear that it is a porky

I also want three to be true.

Ken, I can't read yours.

My fib was Number 1. (I've come close, but that's another story.) The Davina/chocolate sauce thing and the Alice the Verger thing are both true.

I believe you about Murdoch, I think lots of people have pwned him at football. I think the Bannantyne thing is a lie, though I'm not sure how you can pwn anyone at sudoku.

xposts to Ken

3/ Is the right answer, although I would dearly love to throw sticky cocktails at her.

i rule at this game

I remember Ken's Stuart Murdoch football story. Shame he wasn't talking about the ex-Wimbledon manager.

DAMMIT, why did you have to get there so easily? Yes, I have never won a national poetry competition. However, I HAVE won a national journalism competition. I was the 2004 TMS-Wisden Young Cricket-Writer Of The Year. AFAIK the competition has never been repeated, so I'm still reigning champ. Stick that in yr pipe and smoke it!

I hope that imprudent harlots #1 answer is false.

mark s: I would have said ii, but I'm changing to iii now.

impudent (xpost)

why do people say 'pwn'? What does it mean? I mean I know what it means, but why?

And CJ - Dudley Moore?

- If I don't drink coffee, I can't poo
- If I don't smoke cigarettes, I can't poo
- If I leave my normal areas (work, home) for a coupel of days, I can't poo

ken c: 2 is false. How can you pwn anyone at Sudoku? Does not compute.

Impudent Harlot: #1 is false. Although I'll bet that Gretel isn't as sweet as she looks.

i don't believe ken has played d bannatyne at anything

I think Ken's 3rd is false. Su Doku competitions exist; my dad entered one for god's sake!

Will M: cigs are a laxative, non-domiciled constipation is a well known phenomenon, so it's #1 - the coffee.

mike t-d = got it

i = the son of this person -- not actually sure if s/he is strictly first "famous" gender-reassignment, but first i think was ALREADY famous (as a novelist and historian) -- the son in question is the one mentioned, with the welshified name
ii. = this person who is clearly no longer a literary agent but was some sort of commissioning or negotiating agent when thatch's autobiog was bein tarted round -- back in the day he was the MOMUS OF THE REMOVE (<-- posh kid's joke)
iii. my mum was at school with LL's sisters

mike t-diva is correct, although I have been told by said personalty once, that i'm good at maths, because i'm chinese.

Dr C
people who've been on TV whom you've pwned

Dudley Moore was the fib in respect of the chateau (though I did have dinner with him at a manor house).

Paddy Lichfield and Bailey were at the same chateau, and we were there for photoshoots; it was the occasion when I famously got roaring drunk with them in a nearby restaurant and accidently ordered hedgehog.

Doc C: Pwnd

mark s: doesn't April Ashley pre-date Jan Morris?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Ashley

Coffee's a laxative too, Mike. I'm guessing that Will M. doesn't have non-domicile constipation problems.

yes i wz slightly cheatin there by arguin that morris was already pretty well known b4 the op -- ie already famous as a writer, whereas ashley was made famous by the op (and aftermath)

(haha tremendous work there april on havin yr autobiography pulped bcz it plagiarises a book about you by SOMEONE ELSE)

pwnd: haha i've been wondering what the hell that meant too! i got the general gist of it, but nice to have it *clearly* defined.

mike t-diva-- actually incorrect! cigarettes was the porkpie. i don't smoke. but something in coffee makes my body go "oh god abort abort." that probably means it's REALLY GOOD FOR ME.

x-post CJ :

I was right! Photoshoots with them, or they were there doing something else?

Thank-you, Ken.

Dr C's number one is true. I'm guessing Peter Davison.

I think number 2 is the fib

Hmm yes spot on with number one :) We won btw - without even needing to use a sonic screwdriver. I said that number two is true, so obv my porky was Phil Collins. I was once on the same plane as him, but didn't tread on his foot.

Photoshoots with them

Wait, molly, when did that happen with Plant?

x-post

It's worth getting the best in business, I always think. Hang the expense!

1. I have spent many months at sea.
2. I have served lunch to Martin Sheen, Oliver Stone, and Robert Rodriguez.
3. Gibby Haynes one barfed on me.

x-post again

Hedgehog??? Whaaaaat?

kenan's 3 = the human condition

Kenan lives in Chicago, and Chicago is landlocked, so I'm saying 1 is the pie.

Sundar, in 2002. Backstage at Madison Square Gardens. My oboe-wielding, Led Zepplin-loving cousin was going to school in Manhattan at the time, and I went down to visit. She happened to win tickets on the radio to go see LZ and the Who. These tickets included backstage passes. The whole thing was freakish (I wanted to go out and drink w/friends, but she demanded I join her- fair enough). Anyway, the ladies who were going backstage were instructed to put their passes on the left side of their chest, which later, I realized so Senor Plant could place one hand on yr chest, while he signed your pass with the other (NB I did not ask him to sign my pass).

correct answer to mine = #2 (my friend threw it)

ok that wikipedia pwn3d link pwn3d my ilx pwn3d link

Kenan lives in Chicago, and Chicago is landlocked, so I'm saying 1 is the pie.

Kenan is from Beaumont TX which is near the coast. Still I think that's the clunker.

I vote 2 on Kenan. Just to be different.

actually it's #3... it was actually King Coffey who puked on me. :(

1. The first album I bought was batdance by prince
2. The second album I bought was trash by alice cooper
3. The third album I bought was dr. feelgood by motley crue

jel: 1?

sundar: nope!

2 for jel.

1. i was on japanese television once
2. a friend of mine slept with tori amos
3. i have been skydiving

1. I was once chased by an elephant.
2. My dog once ate a mongoose instead of the snake that was in my garden.
3. A horse kicked me real hard in the leg when I was 8.

The video for batdance = awesome.

Hm, that is pretty freakish, molly. (Unless I'm being thick, that means he didn't actually touch you inappropriately, right?) It was a solo Plant gig, right? Or did LZ members actually reunite for a show in NYC that year?

I'm trying to come up with three interesting things to say about myself...

It was number 3! I never owned that album! I wish I could've come up with something more wow-y!

I'm trying to come up with three interesting things to say about myself.

my challenge was thinking of 3 things I haven't already posted about on ILX

I never owned that album!

It's so much better than Batdance.

Julia: skydiving?

nope, sundar. (we should play chess again sometime)

Arrangements have been made.

hooray chess date!

No fair if you know this one already.

1. I have arm-wrestled Lily Allen
2. I have arm-wrestled M.I.A.
3. I have arm-wrestled Lady Sovereign

Also, Kenan, "many months at sea"?

yes sir! Not consecutively.

And I like the ring of "at sea." Sounds better then "tooling around the Gulf of Mexico on a high-tech rig." "At sea" is an adventure!

Allen and Sovereign don't like each other, so I'm guessing Allen and MIA on tour together. Therefore, Sovereign untrue.

Nope.

:(

Blueski - what do you want to know regarding GC? Just saw your q from earlier now!

I bet it's Lily Allen. She is too recent, the other two are less recent. Weak reasoning, sure, but someone was already wrong with the Sov. You haven't arm-wrestled Lily Allen.

...yet. LILY HE CUMMIN 4 U

Will M. astoundingly correct. I arm-wrestled Lady Sov and M.I.A. within two weeks of each other in December 2005, the first after her Empty Bottle show in Chicago and the second at a Pitchfork-related party that Diplo was DJing. Although technically, Lady Sov kind of laughed it off and didn't really go through with it, whereas M.I.A. totally beat me.

I swear to Zarathustra that I didn't already know the answer. I am just that good at justifying 50% chance guesses.

Ha. Yeah, I didn't think you knew. I only put in that caveat because I think most people on the Chicago thread know.

I have never been to Europe
I knocked an opponent out cold in a boxing match
I've never had a driver's license

Driver's license?

europe.

Oh wait, I was thinking that yes,you've probably never had a license so I screwed that up. Will OTM.

I have slept in the Queen Mum's spare bed
I have slept in a pond
I have slept in a tank

As much as I want it to be one of the other two... QM's SB?

pond

No, it was the tank! I stayed at the Castle of Mey in her second room, and I was dumped in a pond by pissed-off mates at a camping thing when I wouldn't get up. But my sleeping bag was waterproof, and it was a scorching day, so I went back to sleep for half an hour.

You are my hero.

-I used to live in Antarctica
-I proposed to a woman over AIM
-I once made out with the most lesbianish member of Sleater-Kinney

the woman

stet otm. too easy?

I just wanted you to have stayed in Antartica cos it sounds ace

Yeah, me too. What's the story there?

"Most lesbianish" = Carrie?

totally. Also: whereas M.I.A. totally beat me. HELLO, DAD = TAMIL TIGERS!! No one could beat her.

jaymc, yeah

worked at mcmurdo station (detailed a little bit in Antarctica)

Did you by chance know El1zab3th L1nd@u? She's my bandmate, and I think she was at McMurdo around the same time you were.

I have no license or Europe trek. I have made guys wobble boxing but never KO'd anybody.

1. I have been cheered for public performances of Welsh folk songs
2. I was first-chair bassoon in the Pueblo, Colorado All-City Band
3. Once, walking down a dark street, I bumped into a donkey

i don't think so, jaymc.

the summer i was there very few women played music, unfortunately. others have been better, i've been told.

Nabisco. . .hmm. Tough call between 1 and 2 but I'll go with 1.

Ah, I don't know if she was in a band there. I think she was a carpenter. (Not that the two are mutually exclusive.)

She might've been there a year before you, though.

no guts, no glory: nabisco 3

You are both wrong. I was second-chair bassoon in all-city band. #1 was a result of having a Welsh music teacher in elementary school. #2 was a result of a blackout in Dire Dawa, Ethiopia, and god bless that donkey for not kicking me to death when I ran straight into its, umm, ass.

D'OH

I love it how the pork pie in most cases covers for an even more (or equally) impressive fact...

I was second-chair bassoon in all-city band.

Now that's not fair. Too close. After-all if you were in All-City I'd expect you to be first-chair.

What were the donkey's ass dimensions, Nabisco?

I know, I kinda felt like I was cheating when I did it. I was focused on the donkey one.

xpost Ally is posting from LJ's apartment?

bizarro

I SEE ASSES EVERYWHERE

1) My mother worked with O.J. Simpson's father
2) My father dated Jane Fonda
3) My wife is related to Allen Ginsberg

OK, here are three more:

1) I've seen Roger Waters son in his underwear.
2) The New York Dolls ate in my parents restaurant.
3) I can speak four languages fluently.

D5 - I saw that 1 is a lie.

say, rather - oops.

ENBB: you only speak 3 fluently. the other you are learning now.

that's my guess as to how you made up the lie, #3. (it's more fun when you try and CSI the answers)

ENBB is wrong, but I think her #2 is a fib, it was probably some other band because the NYDolls never ate anything but BLOOOOOOOD.

You got the lie correct but sadly I only speak two fluently and am now learning the third!

(my mom did indeed work with Mr. Simpson at a bank in San Francisco, he bragged about his son when O.J. was lighting it up at Galileo High)

she can speak five languages fluently *rolls eyes*

oh haha too late :p

I'm guessing Dimension 5ive's lie is #3, since I thought his wife was like Brazilian or something.

Oh wait, no, the lie is because his wife is actually related to Diane DiPrima.

(I might have cheated on that one.)

yeah you are a big beardo cheater

Cool that you got a wedding announcement in the NYT, though!

OMG oh no you didnt google our flipping wedding announcement just to score points on a thread that you should be PWNING anyway

okay someone else go, i'm just glad i didnt kill the thread

1. I am Dick Cheney
2. I am not Dick Cheney
3. A pork-pie hat

1. my heart
2. my aim
3. i know this much

I choose the secret fourth option, that you are King Juan Carlos of Spain.

1)I went to high school with the first Australian astronaut's son

2)A member of the Australian pub-rock band the Angels runs my local bottle shop

3)My girlfriend's brother was in Grant McLennon's house when he passed away

I pick #3, based on his name being misspelled.

Nah, that was true. I thought misspelling might give it away as being true actually.

2) is teh pork-pie, A dude from Rose Tattoo actually runs the bottle-o.

Well some of us make a point of remembering the correct spellings of the names of everyone who ever died in the same house as our girlfriend's brothers. (I write them down in a notebook.) It's called "etiquette."

1. a member of one of my favourite bands bought my parents' old house.
2. my parents' next-door neighbour is not long out of barlinnie jail.
3. one of my friends has just bought the flat in edinburgh where my mum lived in the early 1960s.

xp lol.

1) Blixa Bargeld once stood on my hand in a record store
2) I interviewed Nick Cave for a new passport
3) Roland S Howard was in front of me at my estate agents applying for a flat

1. I am Dick Cheney
2. I am not Dick Cheney
3. A pork-pie hat

This is fucking genius.

1. Nigella Lawson bought my grandparents' windmill
2. My aunty slept with Will Self
3. My brother's girlfriend ran off with Squarepusher

(I possibly should have done this when more UKers are online, as I'm not sure how well the people involved are known elsewhere, but I'd just forget tomorrow.)

Oh, and I'm guessing number 3 is grimly's lie, and number 1 for Trayce.

All of emil.y's are fairly WAU, most implausible probably 3 because I can't imagine Squarepusher 'running off' anywhere, but funnily enough I reckon it could well have happened, somehow, so I'll say that 1) is false.

dammit emily you are correct! He only almost stood on me hand. I gave him a death stare and then realised who he was and went "ohhhhhh".

1) I am related to anton la vey
2) I eloped to alaska
3) I have never eaten a lychee nut

3 is probably true. squarepusher once stole my mate's barbeque.

L0u1s, you are wrong. Nigella Lawson did buy my grandparents' windmill (although technically, she bought it from the people who bought it from them... but my grandparents used to visit and have tea every year or so, until one time they turned up, and it was the Lawsons, who invited them in to have tea anyway). So... 2 or 3?

I'm guessing Edward's is 2.

I reckon Edward's is 3 and he is showing off.

As for emil.y's selection, well, I'm quite attached to this 'running off with Squarepusher' idea, so I'll go for Will Self aunt-shagging being false.

RONG AND RONG

(now I am showing off)

1. When I was 5 I won 2000 pounds on a scratch card which was placed into an account for me until I was in college, where I used it to get drunk and go crazy.
2. When I was 5 I was knocked down by a council van, I got 2000 pounds in damages which I used to get drunk and go crazy when I received it in first year in college.
3. When I was 5 I stole 2000 pounds from the collection basket at mass.

wait, ronan, TWO of those are true??!

actually, just one, it's late and I read the thread poorly!

number 2 is true, then

number 2 of emil.y's one is false.

correct. that was kind of easy I guess.

Nope, ken, number 3 is false. Apparently a friend of my brother lost his girlfriend to Squarepusher, made worse by the fact that he had been a huge fan (and I believe was the reason they met), but it was not my brother.

According to other ILXors, Squarepusher also steals barbeques!

what an arsehole.

Squarepusher on tour: lock up yr wives and BBQs!

before he gives them his hard normal daddy

(I want to know more about the barbeque thievery, but fear the tale may just be as simple as 'he stole the barbeque'.)

oh how wrong you are, emily.

there's a whole SONG written about this hideous crime
http://www.dangerlust.plus.com/specialmoth/emmpeethrees/special_moth_-_squarepusher_stole_my_barbecue.mp3

1) I have driven an M1 Abrams tank.
2) I drove the first articulated bus in the US.
3) I drove a company-owned RV over an executive's car in the GM parking lot.

"Squarepusher Stole my Barbecue" sounds like a TMBG song title.

arse, yes, midnight wasn't the best time to do this. still.

Oh, and I'm guessing number 3 is grimly's lie.

yes. he's bought the flat below it.

jaq: 1) seems too obvious to be a lie. so i'm going for 2).

Seriously, I keep singing "Squarepusher stole my bbq" to the tune of "youth culture killed my dog".

1) I was walking down the street and the man walking next to me was shot.
2) I was sitting on a train and the man next to me was stabbed.
3) I have never had a full-time job.

I think number one is Ned T's fibaroonie

1) On my 21st birthday i got into an argument with Taribo West.
2) On my 21st birthday an angry GF (now ex) smuggled a knife into my carry on luggage at the airport.
3)On my 21st birthday i was sent to work on a fishing trawler in the North Sea for a month-long trip.

this could be difficult, given that nobody knows anything about me. but fuck it, none of y'all seem very good at this game anyway, right?

number 2.

Yes I'll go for number 1 of Ned's

darraghmac - number 3 is a porky and you know it!

I'm tempted to say No 1 for Darraghmac, the ex-girlfriend could easily be pissed off at him flying off for trawler-related adventures. However, Taribo West is way too random to have been made up, surely?

no, he exists.

i think no 1 for ned too. i'm willing to believe his no 3 is true for almost everyone on ilx, if pushed.

1 I have interviewed Modest Mouse
2 Chan (Cat Power) complimented me on my blue leather jacket
3 Steve Wynn put me on the guest list

This is such a fun game by teh way!

I have to say number 3. Modest Mouse and Cat Power are such weird names that they can't be made up.

Nath - number 1 - you have not interviewed Modest Mouse.

1. I once had sex with the bishop's daughter in a church.
2. I was engaged twice before I turned 20.
3. I once woke up Bill Clinton from his sleep.

Actually all three are right. Only, Chan complimented me on my red leather jacket. :-)

Tuomas, one day you will ask what ILX is.

1 I have grabbed my dad's penis.
2 I once told my mom she had beautiful long breasts.
3 I snogged my cousin once.

Number 3 is false.

the night before my 21st birthday i got extremely drunk, as you do. i didn't get up in time to pack my bags or prepare any food or call a taxi or shower so my then GF had to do all of those things for me at 5.30 in the morning (um, except shower).

she was angry at this, and the fact that i had spent our last night together for one month blacking out and chasing young asian ladies around a nightclub. she put a knife into the bottom of my kitbag. she says it was to 'cut my sandwiches with'. i have my doubts. the sandwiches were nice though.

i was getting the early train to dublin, then flying from dublin to amsterdam, as the trawler i was going to work on was based out of wiijk-an-zee in the netherlands. i was 'invited' on this trip because of bad behaviour that we won't be going into. my father (the captain) had suggested that it would be a good way to pay my college fees (the definite inference being that he would be making no contribution towards my further education otherwise). the trip lasted one month, which i spent up to my knees in mackerel for twelve hours a day.

while arguing my case (still extremely drunk) at the baggage security check in dublin, taribo west passed by wearing an extremely cool brown leather suit and carrying an alligator skin man bag. i stopped pleading with the security guard long enough to get his autograph, but didn't argue with him. indeed, he was quiet nice, considering that i was at that stage a terrorist suspect.

they let me on the plane, but kept the knife.

Hah. You're right, Tuomas, was it that obvious? :-)

1. My brother once slammed a glass door in my face, shattering the glass and cutting my face
2. My brother once slammed my hand in a car door, fracturing one of my fingers
3. My brother once reversed his car into me, knocking me over and breaking my leg

i have three brother cj. i'm gonna say all are true.

Number 1 is false.

number 3.

Grimly wins.

(still laughing at darraghmac, tho!)

i'm getting mixed up between people making guesses and people confirming their own answers.

ha ha, Trayce, Blixa Bargeld DID actually step on my former housemate's hand! I think she kinda enjoyed it, tho. ;-)

Ned T posted about no. 1 on ILX, wtf peeps, no memory

I reckon Ned's false one is 3.

CJ - 3 is the fib, I think.

Otherwise, do you get on quite well with your brother?

Best of friends, honest :)

That's good to hear!

1. On holiday in 2004, I slammed my hand in a car door.
2. On holiday in 2005, I cracked a bone in the top of my foot and couldn't walk.
3. On holiday in 2006, I hurt my back and couldn't move.

[you're disqualified from this CJ - as I might have mentioned these incidents to you...unless I haven't, in which case, you're not :)]

do you holiday with CJ's brother or what?

number 1.

haha - I'd love to, but I don't think anyone would insure us.

And you're right, number 1 is a porky. My daughter slammed a car door on Mrs. Dr. C's hand, not mine.

This year, I was relatively unscathed - only a cut knee.

I am now imagining Dr C going on a wrecking and personal-injury spree around Europe with my brother, for their summer hols.

I'm booking the tickets right now. Is he free next July?

If he doesn't get an ASBO before then, yes.

pics please.

in fact, i will swap pics of that for a scan of the photo my brother pushed me into a passport booth to get on my 21st birthday. we take it out at parties and laugh at me.

Pics imperative.

Next week : Dr C and the CJ-bro invade Poland!

pics of what?

You and my brother on the European personal injury / wrecking spree.

Oh yes, sorry. We'll take a camera, although obviously it'll get broken, perhaps over my head.

Can I clarify that I am aware that Taribo West exists, I just thought as a random person to be in a personal anecdote, he seemed almost too random a name to have plucked from thin air (also, I was right, hurrah!)

OK, here are mine:

1. I have had a tooth extracted by a former winner of the European Cup
2. I used to work for the former manager of the Icelandic national football team
3. I am related to a former member of the Supernaturals

2. is a fib

It is, yes. I used to work for his brother (my boss was former Celt J0h4nn3s Edv4ldss0n, brother of former Iceland boss At1i Edv4ldss0n).

Former Celtic right back J1m Cra1g used to be my dentist, and my husband's cousin's husband used to play the keyboards in the Supernaturals when they first started out, but left because his real job got in the way.

I'm good at this! What era was Jim Craig - late 60's? No wait - he must have been if he was in the Euro cup winning team.

Let me try and name that team off by heart :

1. Simpson? Not sure about that. 2. Craig. 3. Gemmell 4. Murdoch. 5. McNeil. 6. Dunno. 7. Johnstone. 8. Dunno. 9. Chalmers. 10. Auld. 11. Lennox.

8 or 9 out of 11 - not bad for a sassenach, eh?

xpost to ailsa: that reminds me of the time i was at a party and went outside, drunkenly, for a tab. i was introduced to the curly-haired dude from the supernaturals (is that the same one? have we done this?)

"hey!" i said. "you did that 'smile' song. that was fucking ace."

big beam.

"shame everything else you did was fucking wank, but hey. one good song's not bad."

i really couldn't work out why he looked so unhappy. drink is a wonderful thing.

anyway. three more:

1. my ex-flatmate shagged the fat one out of space.
2. a mate of mine played bass in arab strap, alongside stet's mate on trumpet.
3. my mates' band supported the human league on tour.

Aye, not bad. You're missing John Clark at number 6 and Willie Wallace at no 8 (and you're right about Ronnie Simpson in goals)

xpost

No, curly haired one is Mark, Steve wasn't a real Supernatural, he preceded Ken pre-record deal.

Ooh, that's a nasty one. I'm going with no-one out of Space ever having got laid ever though.

Hahahahaha.

More from me:

1. My late uncle was a consultant to David Chase, now best known as writer and producer of The Sopranos.
2. Former Minnesota Vikings coach Mike Tice gave my sister away at her wedding.
3. My grandfather was John Wayne's flatmate.

xpost to ailsa (again): hmmmmm. anyone else?

suzy: 3. i just can't imagine john wayne having a flatmate.

No, that's true, I remember that being brought up somewhere before. I'm going with number 1

i think grimly's 1 is false. i'm pretty certain the bass player one is true, because he mentioned that same friend playing for ganger.

Aye, but I think the stet part may be false, because I'm sure the Human League story has been heard before.

ach, you're right, and for almost the right reasons: 1's the porkie. it was one of the roadies (the backline tech, IIRC) that my flatmate shagged.

"bloody hell," i said, when she told me this the next morning. "still, could have been worse. you could have shagged the fat keyboardist."

her friend, who'd been out with her and the band as well, and was sitting on the sofa next to her, burst into tears and ran out of the room.

"well done, simon," said my flatmate.

louis: impressive powers of recollection. aye, my pal big chris (whose new band, sans trauma, absolutely rule) played in the strap's touring line-up, as did a pal of stet's. mind you: so many people seem to have played in the strap's touring line-up that this maybe isn't very surprising. and my other pals' sadly-now-defunct band hoboken supported the HL on tour, and said phil oakey is an absolute god amongst men.

EWEWEWEWEWEW roadie-shagging!

My lie is 2 - Mike Tice was invited to the wedding but did not give Beastie away.

Grimly, JW and Grandpa Jack lived together in the late '30s. My grandfather did not make it as an actor but he only gave it about six months' effort. He did get to be in Stagecoach, though.

Ailsa, my uncle advised David Chase on an Emmy-winning TV fillum based on one of his vice-squad cases and two cop series, one of which might be The Rockford Files. I only found this out at the aforementioned wedding because it was alluded to in that month's Vanity Fair profile of Chase and my mom was like 'oh yeah, I thought you knew that...' ARGH.

More:

1. My grandfather and his four brothers owned the land the Mall of America now stands on.
2. My aunt helped Robert Redford set up the Sundance Festival.
3. JFK was scared to play drinking games with my gran.

okay. we've established that your granddad's the dude. but ...

... 2's credible ...

... i can't bear to accept that 3 might not be true ...

... so 1.

hoboken sounded like a prostitute trying to throw up

hahahahaha RJG...in America they do not know this word 'boak'.

Got to fly, but here goes:

1 is true - but it's my other grandfather. They sold the land in the late '60s though.
2 is false - Redford's helper was my step-aunt, not a blood auntie 8080.
3 is completely and totally true. JFK's exact words were 'No way! Lucy can drink me under the table!'

I'll leave you with these:

1. My aunt had a 20-year affair with one of the Shah of Iran's bodyguards.
2. My mother was rescued from a bike accident by John Denver.
3. BB King calls my dad Big Mike.

lily allen was not in the supernaturals

i'm gonna go with no 1 there suzy. woman want commitment after two or three years, i've found, even with omar sharif types.

BTW grimly I can second Phil Oakey being a total legend; just don't start him on conspiracy theories.

or funny hairdos!!!!!

hoboken sounded like a prostitute trying to throw up

Actually Hoboken is a name of a city near Antwerp (Belgium). They named the American city after it. :-)

Also, if we want or not, Suzy owns this thread. :-)

I wouldn't necessarily want to be known for pwnage at lying, though...

;-)

Suzy's are mind-bogglingly great.

OK

1. I wrote some script for Morse
2. I wrote some script for Spooks
3. I wrote some script for Silent Witness

i want to live in hoboken and drink super tennents.

OK, Number 1 is the lie - the affair lasted 30 years. Kate has seen pics of the aunt in question, who was a ringer for Grace Kelly and about as highly sexed. Commitment, for her, was something that happened to the insane.

C, 2 is the lie? Mrs C has been in all of them, though, right?

1. I delivered contracts to David Byrne.
2. I got a passport for Julian Casablancas.
3. I've been kicked in the face by Thurston Moore.

1. I once sang When A Man Loves A Woman in Karaoke
2. I once sang Barbie Girl in Karaoke
3. I once sang Careless Whisper in Karaoke

('once' can be more than once)

dr C: i'm going to say 3. dunno why. i just am.

old rottenhat: 2.

hahahahaha RJG...in America they do not know this word 'boak'.

aye, but hoboken were from glasgow :)

xpost

ken: none of those is a lie, is it?

Ken's lie is number 1.

damn, that was quick...it was actually one of the other couriers in my office. I may also have a picture of same colleague with Jessica Simpson's passport sticking out of his bike shorts

Suzy, you're right it's 2, but wrong - not in all of them.

I used to make sure that forensic or hospital labs in these progs had the right equipment in them, and provide it for them. I used to also check the scripts for scientific accuracy and rewrite the odd line if necessary. I also used to run through with the actors how to hold or pretend to operate any of the gear if they had to.

1. I've seen Ryan Adams's c0ck.
2. I've seen Euros Childs's c0ck.
3. I've seen Jeremy Hardy's c0ck.

bah, I was going to say 2 and claim involvement of Mrs Dr C as a red herring. (erm, xpost)

OK:

1. I have shared a flat with someone who went on to reach number 1 in the charts
2. I travelled between gigs on the Manics' tourbus
3. I was invited to go to Donington by Biohazard

She didn't play a red herring.

3 is yer melton mowbray, Ailsa.

I have eaten snail
I have eaten snake
I have eaten tripe

I hope I'm not putting anyone off their lunch.

Wrong, believe it or not! also, haha. xpost to Dr C

I only found this out at the aforementioned wedding because it was alluded to in that month's Vanity Fair profile of Chase and my mom was like 'oh yeah, I thought you knew that...' ARGH.

So much potential for name-dropping wasted.

1. I have woken up with blood all over my phone.
2. I have been woken up by two strange girls after breaking into their apartment, across the street from the bar.
3. I have woken up with traffic cones wedged in my wheel well.

You haven't eaten tripe, I think.

Ailsa - I want number 1 to be true, and I think it is, Although who? So 2?

I have eaten tripe. A tiny bit. Once.

Fluffy Bear's fib is number 2.

Correct! #1 is a non-twin Proclaimer, and the Biohazard thing is from when I used to work at a venue where they were playing. I made them sandwiches and did their washing for them and they were very nice and invited me and a friend down to Donington. I declined. I have been on many a tourbus, but never the Manics, despite following them round to a crepey degree in my younger days.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/02/17/tripe_wideweb__470x340,0.jpg

Some tripe, yesterday.

CJ, that is correct. I knew them. They were not strangers.

Not tripe - then it's SNAILS!! We would expect you to have eaten snails with all your hobnobbin' in French chateaux, but I reckon that you haven't.

Correct! Even the thought of an escargot makes me feel queasy.

I love them, indeed I had some last week! But despite growing up in t'North I have never had tripe.

*coughs discreetly*

Oh, you've never seen Ryan Adam's cock.

Sorry Mike -

Ryan Adams ain't true, yes?

(excuse misplaced apostrophe)

I have too seen Ryan Adams's c0ck!
Which leaves Euros and Jeremy.

Not Euros then.

Hardy seems too obvious, somehow.

jaq: 1) seems too obvious to be a lie. so i'm going for 2).

-- grimly fiendish, Friday, 17 August 2007 07:45

Nope, it's #3 - I was present but a co-worker did the actual driving.

isn't jeremy hardy's cock, by his own admission, tiny? so i doubt you'd have been able to see it. euros, then.

xpost

I have too seen Ryan Adams's c0ck!

When, where, why, and was it nice?

Men often use the toilet next to each other.

OK, I've seen the Hardy, but not the Childs. Euros did follow me into a cubicle once, but I didn't get to see his c0ck. He might have seen mine, but that's unlikely. Unless he was making a special effort.

The thread seems strangely silent now....

We've run out of facts. (that are entertaining at least)

I have run out of interesting factoids about my life.

xpost!

Though I can do ones about my family, I guess:

1. My dad has appeared on Countryfile
2. My brother has appeared on Highway
3. My husband has appeared on Neighbours

i. i've seen sean connery's c0ck
ii. i've run into tom hanks and frank dobson cruising on hampstead heath
iii. denis nordern once w!nked at me in soho

WINKED? OR...?

Who was cruising, you or them? (top detective, me)

NO CLUES

i. My father went drinking with Georgi Markov
ii. I am really a sixteen stone male steelworker and father-of-four from Rotherham
iii. My mother wanted to call me Deirdre

He might have seen mine, but that's unlikely. Unless he was making a special effort.

Is it that small? (Sorry, coudln't resist.)

Ailsa - I think number 2 is wrong.

Mark - i is untrue.

CJ - hahaha!

kate: show your working!

Uh... I guessed?

Classic Rock edition :

1. I once saw Pete Townshend walking his dog.
2. I once saw Roger Daltrey in a newsagent's shop
3. Jimmy Page walked past a Pizza Express I was in.

You'd never go into a Pizza Express!

Dr C is WRONG, my brother was part of the school recorder band when Highway was filmed in Inverness in approx 1984 and can clearly be seen sitting next to the minister doing the religiousy bit all the way through the show.

3. My husband has appeared on Neighbours

oh please. oh please.

(ie: i really, desperately want that to be true.)

ok sorrowfully i-iii are all slightly untrue :(

i. i used stall next to SC after press-screening of name of the rose -- i was first into the men's (as usual, too much coffee) and he followed me in, and as i rehearsed retelling this story ("sean connery followed me into the men's") i wz giggling too much to actually cop a look :(
ii. TH and FD *may* have been cruising -- no evidence either way -- but it was mid-day and I was meeting pals for a picnic when i encountered them (they weren't together)
iii. there was a time when i randomly passed DN in the street in soho abt six times in as many weeks (i assume he lived somewhere near there, tho this mayn't be so as i don't, and i was there all those times also); the final time he gave me this look as if to say "who the fuck are you and why are you following me?"

Ailsa is married to Ian Molly Meldrum?

I would CJ, I do. Often.

OK, you really are the last person in Glasgow to have heard that story, aren't you?

Yes, it's true. When he was on holiday in Australia several years ago, he and his family stumbled across them filming on location in a shopping mall. They were looking for people to be extras, and he volunteered, and so was given the top part of "bloke who gets given a car sponge by Henry Ramsay".

My dad has never been on Countryfile, but my other brother has, talking about trees.

So number three might be true. Now I need to work out whether Pete Townshend has a dog, and whether Roger Daltrey can read.

To have *not* heard, that should be...

hahahha. Tea spilled here! Poor old Rog.

OK... these names will probably mean nothing to those outside of Australia, but...

1. My cousin once dated Perth TV personality Basil Zempilas
2. I once beat Perth TV Personality Tina Altieri in a breathing contest
3. My father went to school with Perth TV Personality Peter Holland

What does a breathing contest consist of? Is it just inhaling and exhaling?

Hmm I'll give family a try then:

1. My brother once dated New York from Flavor of Love.
2. My brother has performed on German MTV and at the Playboy mansion there.
3. My cousin was set to be a contestant on Fear Factor until at the last minute they found he had a heart defect.

It was this weird thing we had to do as part of our journalism course.

bloke who gets given a car sponge by Henry Ramsay

wa-hey!

kate was right by the way. i sang "how am i supposed to live without you" but never "when a man loves a woman"

My last one is still unsolved!

Ms. Miz, I guess #1.

Right, I think the Pete Townshend thing is a great big fib.

Ah Jaq, why so obv?

I was just googling "Pete Townsend dog" to see if he even had one. I guess #2 for Dr. C's last list.

The other two just ran true, Sam!

uhm, ran = rang

I probably should have picked a lesser Flava ho.

1. My brother transcribed keyboard complicated parts for Frank Zappa that no one else could figure out how to transcribe.
2. My mom walks into the oval office with a group of German industrialists and John F. Kennedy says, "Mary! Good to see you!"
3. My dad gets propositioned by Robert Reed (Mr. Brady) in a bar.

Blimey this threads gone mad since I was called away on urgent business. My No.1 is true as Louis correctly pointed out, although I too had forgotten I'd put it up here. I was shot at while on my my way to an Oxfam meeting in Leamington Spa of all places, you really couldn't make it up. I was also sitting next to someone on the train when I spotted a fellow walking down the train with a large knive. When he got to me he leaned over and stabbed (although - only slightly!) the man next to me. I was on crutches on the time recovering from a car accident. Oh, how I laughed about it later...

No.3 is not true I once worked for The Body Shop for about a year, full time about 17 years ago. Of course, I could argue that my househusbanding/childcaring is full time.

Ailsa is correct, number 1 is the fib.

I have seen Townshend walking his dog on the Thames tow-path countless times, not just the once, as he lives quite near me.

I saw Rog in a newsagents in Twyford, Berks. Page walked past the Pizza Express on Dean Street in Soho.

Hmm, Eazy's are tough. I really want 3 to be true. . .I'm going to say 1. The others are a bit much to make up.

Eazy's no.2 sounds plausible - that John F was one for the ladies I seem to recall. No.1 sounds like something you wouldn't make up. So...No.3.

Hint: #1 does have a typo. should be "transcribed complicated keyboard parts"

i'm going to say 2, just to be contrary.

Numer three says "gets".. like it's STILL HAPPENING!!!

#2 and #3 employ the present tense for a heightened sense of urgency to the stories.

I'm going to say it's #2, but because Eazy's mom is named something other than Mary.

Unless it's the ghost of Robert Reed taunting him: "let's goooo in baaaack, let's gooooo in baaaaack"

Hint: My mother is indeed Mary Z.

I'm saying #3 is the minced meat pie. Or whatever the kids are calling it. The lie.

I want Eazy's #3 to be true, but my guess is it's not.

#3 is the lie. I almost mentioned another older actor who propositioned a friend of mine, but then I googled his name and found that he wasn't out.

that was an awesome lie, btw.

http://www.bradyresidence.com/enquirer.jpg

the robert reed bio on wiki makes me very sad.

Like many homosexual actors then and now, Reed was secretive about his sexuality. After his death, it became known that he despised his homosexuality and considered it an illness and sought psychiatric treatment. Several of his partners have since come out and stated that he threatened them after sex, that he wanted his homosexuality to remain hidden.

I can only think of Tom Cruise threatening a beefcake who's 2 feet taller than him. "I will end you. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL END YOU!"

1. Gennifer Flowers, of Bill Clinton fame, once called out my name while playing piano and blew me a kiss.
2. Stuart Greer bought me a beer when I was in NYC for new year's eve, but I didn't know who he was at the time.
3. I was once hit on by a drunken Andre Codrescu.

I'm guessing #3 but I kind of want it to be true.

1. Kirk Brandon called me a diamond geezer
2. Stella McCartney thought my daughter's hair was 'amazing'
3. I am a bat.

#3 is true!

I'm guessing #1 but I kind of want it to be true.

Awesome.

xpost

#1 is also true!

#2 is the pork pie!

I still don't know who Stuart Greer is.

neither do i! i just googled the movie "i know what you did last summer" and picked a random actor.

Haha.

Eazy, who is your brother? The Zappa tidbit is innaresting.

1. My brother used to be drinking mates with Molly Meldrum.
2. My classmates and I made a giant Sydney Harbour Bridge puppet for the 50th year celebration of the bridge, and did a song and dance with it at the official celebration.
3. As a teenager, I used to babysit David Soul's kids.

1. I was the MVP of my high school chess team, 2 out of 4 years.
2. Tim Harrington has rubbed his face in my wife's crotch.
3. My parents home was destroyed by a tornado, while we were in it.

I'm going to guess #1. When it comes to Tim Harrington, nothing's too extreme.

luna, I want #2 to be true.

i'm guessing #2 -- i have no trouble believing jeff was a chess prodigy

#2 is true, Jaq!

1. I never lit a match until I was 20.
2. I won my 4th grade talent show by doing impressions of Ronald Reagan and Joan Rivers.
3. I once had a letter printed in Boys' Life magazine.

1.

Jaymc is right. I was the MVP of my tennis team 2 years. Take that chess dorks. I am a mediocre chess player at best.

my illusions are shattered

1. I have metal plates in my head.
2. I have only ever played Scrabble on the internet.
3. I have only broken one bone. It was my finger, after a drunken tumble down a flight of stairs on my 19th birthday.

I think numer one I remember from another thread, Jessie and if that's true then it may be unlikely that #3 is false. So I say that #2 is a lie.

Nope, Mr. Que. I was sort of afraid of fire as a kid, but then once I reached a certain age and no longer actually afraid, I decided to see how long I could go without lighting a match. One day in college I was sitting at a coffee shop with a cigarette and a matchbook and decided what the hell.

AND NOW YOU ARE DYING OF CANCER.

i'm going to guess #3 although i guess #2 could be possible if only b/c you're naming people you didn't do impersonations of OR if you didn't actually win the talent show . . .

I can imagine jaymc doing impressions of Ronald Reagan and Joan Rivers. And it is not pretty.

I'm going to guess #3. He did not write to Boys Life. It was actually Rawhide.

I just know that #1 is true b/c I witnessed it.

1. I am in Philadelphia
2. I am drinking beer
3. I am a werewolf

oh, either play or don't

obviously it's too early for beer

http://www.centraldivx.com/web/elink/108.jpg

le gabbneb^

I've told so much stuff on myself in the last three years here that I'm having trouble coming up with two true things that aren't already in jaymc.xls.

#3 is correct. As a slack-ass Webelo, I had a subscription to Boys' Life but never wrote in.

I can imagine jaymc doing impressions of Ronald Reagan and Joan Rivers. And it is not pretty.

Can you imagine a 9-year-old me doing impressions of Ronald Reagan and Joan Rivers (as well as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Julia Child) at a campground in front of his peers? I don't know why I won. I voted for the girls who lip-synched and choreographed "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."

Like this?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fDcHzfhqlbI

well, you are very charismatic. children are drawn to charisma.

Eazy, who is your brother? The Zappa tidbit is innaresting.

This page is from 1999, but that's him.

Hahah 3rd match on wiki for "webelo" was Zapp Branigan fwiw.

got. bad. wheels.